Speaker 1: Hi, guys, big episode this is let's talk about myths. Baby,
Speaker 1: I live. I'm crazy. I love Greek mythology more than
Speaker 1: I rationally should. How's it going. I've been trying to
Speaker 1: sort out away, to not give up all the famous
Speaker 1: awaited myths right off the bat, and to spread them out.
Speaker 1: But this one is just calling to me, and you
Speaker 1: know I'm on episode fifteen. It seems only appropriate, and
Speaker 1: I feel like some of you might have been waiting
Speaker 1: on this one too. First, big note up front. Today's
Speaker 1: story is about Heracles. See that's his Greek name, his
Speaker 1: original name. The thing is, this western world of ours
Speaker 1: has decided that this is not his name, and that
Speaker 1: his name is Hercules, and that that is somehow Greek.
Speaker 1: But see, Hercules is the Roman name for Heracles. It's
Speaker 1: just it's not Greek, you guys. The name Hercles came
Speaker 1: hundreds of years after the myth of Heracles, and it
Speaker 1: was just an interpretation of the original Greek story. The
Speaker 1: Romans decided that Heracles was their favorite. They fucking loved him,
Speaker 1: and so they co opted him, taking his Greek story,
Speaker 1: calling him Hercules, and keeping it for their own. A
Speaker 1: number of emperors in Rome identified with Hercules and made
Speaker 1: them feel more powerful. This is the reason that that
Speaker 1: name Hercules versus Heracles has lived on so much more prolifically, because,
Speaker 1: of course, the Romans basically built the world we now know.
Speaker 1: That's all to say, I'll be calling Heracles because I'm
Speaker 1: a purist. God damn it. But yeah, I mean, every
Speaker 1: piece of pop culture out there presents him as Greek
Speaker 1: with the name Hercules, so I'm sorry. Also, I'm not perfect.
Speaker 1: I've seen the Disney movie a hundred times. I may
Speaker 1: slip up, or maybe I'll just go between the two.
Speaker 1: Let's just see, shall we. I'm not responsible for the confusion,
Speaker 1: but I will apologize to you for it. Just know
Speaker 1: that the animated character, both from the movie and the
Speaker 1: awesome TV show that followed, Kevin Sorbo, Ryan Gosling, Kelen
Speaker 1: Lutt's the Rock. Sorry. I grew up in the nineties
Speaker 1: and early two thousands, and he will always be the Rock,
Speaker 1: and I will always wonder what he is cooking. All
Speaker 1: these people, all these actors are playing Heracles. They just
Speaker 1: call them Hercules because again, perpetuation, and it's all the
Speaker 1: Romans fault. And with all that said, this is episode
Speaker 1: sixteen Heracles or Hercules zero to hero just like that.
Speaker 1: Heracles was born to Zeus and Alcmene, granddaughter of the
Speaker 1: brilliant and wonderful hero Perseus, one of the good ones,
Speaker 1: and his Wikipedia rightly points out this made him both
Speaker 1: great grandson and half brother of the hero Perseus, because
Speaker 1: Zeus is gross and so things like that just happened.
Speaker 1: But first, let's start from the beginning. There's a man
Speaker 1: named Electrion. He's the king of Mycene, and he's the
Speaker 1: son of Perseus and Andromeda. He went to war with
Speaker 1: the Teleboans. See, the Teleboans had killed his sons and
Speaker 1: stolen his cattle, and we know how the Greeks feel
Speaker 1: about stolen cattle. Seriously, it's come up a lot. People
Speaker 1: were always stealing cows. While he was gone, he left
Speaker 1: his trusted nephew and Phytrion in charge of my scene
Speaker 1: and as a little pretty disturbing patriarchy centric, Bonus and
Speaker 1: Phatrion got for looking after my sen A while he
Speaker 1: was away. While he got Electron's daughter Alcmeni, and he
Speaker 1: could just marry her. So it's like, here, have this woman,
Speaker 1: even though she probably doesn't want you. And also ps,
Speaker 1: she's your cousin. No big But on top of that,
Speaker 1: there was another weird and patriarchy centric trick see in
Speaker 1: Phytrion had to leave Alcmeni a virgin while Electron was away,
Speaker 1: while on top of being troublingly invasive about Cameni's freedom
Speaker 1: to do what the funk she wants, it's just asking
Speaker 1: for trouble. In terms of Greek mythology, you can just
Speaker 1: see something tricky coming down the pike. Basically, he said
Speaker 1: that there would be no sex until electron sons al
Speaker 1: Camenis brothers had been avenged. After some time, Electron found
Speaker 1: the missing cattle. He hadn't yet avenged his son's deaths,
Speaker 1: but hey, he found the cows. He called ram Vitreon
Speaker 1: to help him drive the cows back to my scene.
Speaker 1: And during this hurting, one of the cows went a
Speaker 1: bit cray and and Phitrion threw his club at it
Speaker 1: because animal cruelty and also stupidity, because it bounced off
Speaker 1: the cow and hit electroon killing him. And as we've
Speaker 1: learned over the past few episodes, you're an outcast when
Speaker 1: you kill someone. You're not like a criminal. That'd be crazy. No,
Speaker 1: you just have to leave town. So in Phittrion and
Speaker 1: Alcmeni had to leave my scene, and they headed to Thebes.
Speaker 1: And if you thought the death of Electrion meant that
Speaker 1: in Vitrion and Alcmeni could go ahead and have sex,
Speaker 1: he would be wrong. See those brothers of hers still
Speaker 1: needed to be avenged. And now it was up to Mphytrion.
Speaker 1: So he went to Creon, King of Thebes, this being, yes,
Speaker 1: the Creon of the Oedipus story, and not the Creon
Speaker 1: of the Medais story, because too many Creons. He went
Speaker 1: to Creon for help. But Creon was a hint busy.
Speaker 1: See there was a fox causing major trouble in Thebes.
Speaker 1: This seems like a lot easier to deal with than
Speaker 1: the sphinx that they had a while back, But I
Speaker 1: guess this fox was still quite problematic. Every month they
Speaker 1: would send a man out to get rid of the fox,
Speaker 1: and he would never come back, which makes me think
Speaker 1: they should have sent a woman, but what do I know.
Speaker 1: So Creon would help Emphytrion, but only once that tricky
Speaker 1: fox had been dealt with. Now about this time, a
Speaker 1: man named Kephalis showed up Kephalist came from Athens, where
Speaker 1: he had also accidentally killed someone, and so he had
Speaker 1: also headed to Thebes for purification, just like Amphitreon. There's
Speaker 1: a pattern. It's weird. Kephalist had a dog, a hound,
Speaker 1: who was infallible in some way. I'll try to cover
Speaker 1: this story soon so maybe we can understand how and
Speaker 1: why this dog was fancier than other dogs. But he was,
Speaker 1: so Kepala sent his infallible dog against this fox, who
Speaker 1: was also infallible in some way. There's lots of fancy
Speaker 1: schmancy animals here. I don't totally understand it. But since
Speaker 1: both these animals were infallible, the dog couldn't catch the fox.
Speaker 1: They just kept going around and around and around, and
Speaker 1: finally Zeus was like, the fuck is going on here?
Speaker 1: So he just turned both animals into stone. So now
Speaker 1: Creon could help him. Fittreon avenge the death of Electryon Sons.
Speaker 1: There's so many eons I don't even know how to
Speaker 1: handle it. They went against the Telebonones, but Telebones had
Speaker 1: another piece of weird Greek mythology magic on their side.
Speaker 1: They couldn't be defeated unless their king was defeated and
Speaker 1: their king had magic golden hair that kept him a lot.
Speaker 1: I've this is weird, but we're going with it, as
Speaker 1: is the norm in Greek mythology. The king's daughter saw
Speaker 1: in Phytrion and immediately fell in love with him, and
Speaker 1: as a result, she decided to betray her father, cutting
Speaker 1: off his hair and killing him, because we know that's
Speaker 1: exactly how women are always, falling in love with strangers
Speaker 1: and killing their fathers for those strangers. Typical. So in
Speaker 1: Phatrion had finally avenged the death of al Cameni's brothers
Speaker 1: and finally he could have sex with his wife. He
Speaker 1: returned to Alcmene and she was excited. So I guess
Speaker 1: she ended up loving this dude that she was forced
Speaker 1: to marry, or at least the myth wants us to
Speaker 1: believe that she and her husband had sex finally, only,
Speaker 1: as it turns out, this was not her husband. So
Speaker 1: i'm Phytrion was still away wherever he defeated those teleboans
Speaker 1: and it was actually Zeus disguised as m Phittrion. He
Speaker 1: disguised himself as al Camni's husband so that he could
Speaker 1: seduce her, which even by Zeus's very very low standards
Speaker 1: is skiezy and later that night and Phittreon himself actually
Speaker 1: did return home, and so al Cameni actually then did
Speaker 1: also have sex with her husband, and and because ancient
Speaker 1: Greek myths aired on the side of crazy, al Cameni
Speaker 1: ended up being pregnant with Heracles, son of Zeus, and Iphicles,
Speaker 1: son of Amphytrion. They were twins, except one was a
Speaker 1: demigod with a different father. Sucks to be Epicles, and
Speaker 1: you'll never guess. But weirdly, in off, Harrah found out
Speaker 1: about zeus creepy seduction of Alcmeney, and she learned that
Speaker 1: there was yet another illegitimate child of Zeus that would
Speaker 1: be born. She was, as per usual, less than thrilled.
Speaker 1: I mean, could he fuck off already and stop causing
Speaker 1: her so much grief? These two are a vicious cycle.
Speaker 1: Zeus is awful to Hara, and so Harrah is awful
Speaker 1: to the women Zeus fox, and then Zeus goes and
Speaker 1: fox more women. It never ends on the upside here. Actually,
Speaker 1: Harrah is about to be awful to a man and
Speaker 1: not a woman, so progress it's really too bad. There
Speaker 1: was no ancient Greek mythological divorce. I think it would
Speaker 1: have done a world of good. Literally, So again Hara
Speaker 1: knows she's pissed. Shocker. And on the night that the
Speaker 1: twins Heracles and Ephocles we're going to be born, Hero
Speaker 1: went to her husband, knowing that Heracles was about to
Speaker 1: be born and be very powerful as the son of
Speaker 1: Zeus and the grandson, yeah of Perseus, who was of
Speaker 1: course also the son of Zeus, And she went to
Speaker 1: Zeus to convince him to swear an oath that the
Speaker 1: descendant of Perseus being born that night, would become high king.
Speaker 1: And no, I don't know what high king means, but
Speaker 1: it sounds like an ideal that one might want for themselves.
Speaker 1: But Harah did this knowing that not only would Heracles
Speaker 1: be born that night, but another baby, Eurystheus, who was
Speaker 1: also a descendant of Perseus, was to be born as well.
Speaker 1: He was being born elsewhere. I don't know where, it's
Speaker 1: not pertinent. The point is somewhere another baby who was
Speaker 1: also related to Perseus was going to be born. Now
Speaker 1: that zeus Is oath had been sworn, Hero went straight
Speaker 1: to Alcmeny, who was already in labor. She wanted to
Speaker 1: slow things down so that Heracles might be born the
Speaker 1: next day, making Eurystheus, who was not a child of
Speaker 1: zeuss adultery. High King Hara forces alethea goddess of labor
Speaker 1: and childbirth, to delay the birth. Meanwhile, Hara causes Eurystheus
Speaker 1: to be born prematurely. Alethia delays the birth for a
Speaker 1: while before Alcmene's servant, Gallant Theus, ultimately causes confusion, or
Speaker 1: does it intentionally, it's not clear, but it's she who
Speaker 1: makes it so that Heracles was ultimately born and not
Speaker 1: stuck in Alcmny forever and dear listeners, this is when
Speaker 1: I answer my own question from the hecate mini myth.
Speaker 1: I didn't understand why Hara wanted Heracles as birth delayed,
Speaker 1: and there it is. See we're all learning together now.
Speaker 1: While Comedie was no dummy, she feared Hari's wrath. She
Speaker 1: may have been no dummy, but she was willing to
Speaker 1: kill her child in order to keep Hara from punishing her.
Speaker 1: So she's no saint either. Al Comedie exposed the baby Heracles.
Speaker 1: Now as a reminder, exposure is the fancy term for
Speaker 1: leaving her baby out in the middle of nowhere for
Speaker 1: her to die by whatever means might befall it. This
Speaker 1: is what they tried to do with adopes before it
Speaker 1: failed pretty miserably. In this case, Athena comes across the
Speaker 1: baby Heracles, and, feeling a strong desire for some dramatic irony,
Speaker 1: she brings the babe up to Mount Olympus and gives
Speaker 1: it to Hara herself, who unknowingly nurses him as her own.
Speaker 1: This is what they don't tell you in the Disney version.
Speaker 1: Am I right? So Harron nurses the baby, but apparently
Speaker 1: he was a little too keen, maybe with a little
Speaker 1: hard on the goddess nips, and she ended up pushing
Speaker 1: him away. At one point between the startled baby and
Speaker 1: the unprepared nips, Harah's milk splatters across the sky and
Speaker 1: forms the Milky Way, so you know, space facts. After
Speaker 1: nursing with Harrah for a while, Athena brings the baby
Speaker 1: back down to Earth and he's ultimately raised by his
Speaker 1: parents or mother and stepfather. I guess, and I guess
Speaker 1: they took him back with no questions asked, but not
Speaker 1: before he had gained mega supernatural powers from all that
Speaker 1: God has breast milk and Heracles didn't always have that
Speaker 1: name either. He was born by the name al Kaedes,
Speaker 1: but was renamed Heracles in an effort to make hera
Speaker 1: happy by using her name. It didn't work. The twins
Speaker 1: were eight months old when Hara made her first move
Speaker 1: against them. She sent two snakes into their crib. If
Speaker 1: Iticles cried in fear because that's fucking scary, and their babies.
Speaker 1: I'd have lost my ship too if it cles. But Heracles,
Speaker 1: with his Hara provided super strength, grabs the snakes and
Speaker 1: strangles them. And now all I could see is baby
Speaker 1: herk in the Disney movie when he grabs the snakes
Speaker 1: and makes their heads knock each other out. I would
Speaker 1: have never guessed that that was based on the real myth.
Speaker 1: Heracles was found by his nurse playing with the dead
Speaker 1: snakes as if they were toys, so she probably never
Speaker 1: went near him again. Or maybe that's just me projecting.
Speaker 1: His stepfather and Prion was so surprised at this baby's
Speaker 1: strength and general bravery that he called on the prophet Tyreseus.
Speaker 1: Do you remember the one blind got a little mouthy
Speaker 1: with Oedipus. I could just picture the conversation Tyresius, my
Speaker 1: baby like baby killed two snakes with his bare hands.
Speaker 1: I mean, is that normal? Tyresus tells him Pitreon that
Speaker 1: Heracles was destined for an unusual future, that he would
Speaker 1: defeat many a monster, and after accidentally killing his music
Speaker 1: teacher because he was just too damn strong, Heracles was
Speaker 1: sent to herd cattle for a while. Maybe I listened
Speaker 1: to too much my favorite Murder, but this sounds a
Speaker 1: bit like one too many of those stories. I think
Speaker 1: Heracles might have ended up a serial killer if he
Speaker 1: were around today. Maybe he was even hit on the
Speaker 1: head at some point, but I digress. While he was
Speaker 1: banished and was hurting cattle on a mountain side, Heracles
Speaker 1: ends up killing a lion that was eating the cattle.
Speaker 1: The king of the region, whose cows had been the
Speaker 1: ones getting eaten, is super psyched by this. And when
Speaker 1: men who have daughters are happy with a random man
Speaker 1: who's just dropped by, you know things are going to
Speaker 1: go well. This king, Thespius, had fifty daughters. Fifty that's
Speaker 1: five zero, and what does he do well? Obviously, he
Speaker 1: tells Heracles that as a thank you for killing a lion,
Speaker 1: he can have sex with all of his daughters. All
Speaker 1: fifty of them zero to hero indeed also gross. So
Speaker 1: our guys, Heracles is kind into gross, just a hint
Speaker 1: different from how we know him from the animated classic.
Speaker 1: I don't think Marissa from the O C's dad would
Speaker 1: have signed on if this was the story being told.
Speaker 1: Heracles moves back to Thebes A couple of years later.
Speaker 1: He's allowed back because he does a favor for King Creon.
Speaker 1: He gets him out of a really annoying annual payment
Speaker 1: of a hundred oxen that Creon had to deal with. Basically,
Speaker 1: he waged a battle against the people asking for the
Speaker 1: hundred oxen and defeats them. Oh and m Pitreon died
Speaker 1: in that battle too, but you know he was only
Speaker 1: the stepfather who cares about him from my right. So
Speaker 1: now the Heracles is allowed back to Thebes and Creon
Speaker 1: is happy with him. I think you can imagine what's coming. See,
Speaker 1: Creon had a daughter, and guess what you'll never guess.
Speaker 1: Creon tells Herrick he said he couldn't marry his daughter,
Speaker 1: because seriously, what are women for if not property you
Speaker 1: can give away. Heracles marries Megara, princess of Thebes, and yes,
Speaker 1: that is something vaguely right about the Disney movie. Vaguely
Speaker 1: they're married for a few years, and they had a
Speaker 1: bunch of kids, and we're happy. And as the mythology
Speaker 1: book I'm reading for the story says, Megara quote proved
Speaker 1: to be a loyal wife and sensible mother. This book
Speaker 1: was written by a man, as you might have guessed.
Speaker 1: Aside from some very annoying comments like this, it's quite
Speaker 1: a good source. There's info about in the episode description.
Speaker 1: So Heracles and Megarat are married for years, they have
Speaker 1: so many kids. They're just a happy family, just living
Speaker 1: the life, and all is well. But unfortunately Harra was
Speaker 1: still waging her war on Heracles, and one day she
Speaker 1: causes him to lose his fucking mind. In his madness,
Speaker 1: he goes from room to room in his house and
Speaker 1: kills all the children he has with Megara and Megarat herself.
Speaker 1: See Hara had convinced him that they were all enemies,
Speaker 1: and of course, in ancient Greece, you just straight up
Speaker 1: murder your enemies. Athena sees what's going on and wants
Speaker 1: to help. Athena always wanting to help male heroes. She's
Speaker 1: rarely a fan of the ladies. She goes down to
Speaker 1: Heracles and she hits him on the head with a rock.
Speaker 1: She knocks him out, and when he comes to he's
Speaker 1: back to normal, except legit, everyone is dead, his whole family.
Speaker 1: He wakes up to the bloody, super gross and depressing
Speaker 1: bodies of his children and his wife. Not quite the
Speaker 1: Disney romance there, but at least they got the name
Speaker 1: Mega Are right, I guess at this point Heracles is
Speaker 1: pretty depressed. I wonder why, And as much as I
Speaker 1: wish Disney were true, there are no singing muses, nor
Speaker 1: Danny de Vito voiced Satyr's teaching hero duties. Oh Disney,
Speaker 1: the expectations you give us. Anyway, our Heracles has had
Speaker 1: a tricky life up to this point, and for the
Speaker 1: most part it's thanks to Hara and how much she
Speaker 1: loads all of Zeus's many many love children. God, what's
Speaker 1: with that word love child? It's awful, describes nothing. I
Speaker 1: apologize for using it. This is why I always find
Speaker 1: it very entertaining watching the movie Hercules, which of course
Speaker 1: I love, but my favorite thing is how Hara dotes
Speaker 1: on Hercules, the little baby guy given Pegasus by his
Speaker 1: doting parents. It's adorable. It's hilariously off base, but a
Speaker 1: door able and spoils. There's no Pegasus in this story,
Speaker 1: because that's not a thing for Heracles. That'd be old
Speaker 1: Bellaraphon will cover him soon enough. So at this point,
Speaker 1: Heracles is reeling from waking up and realizing he's basically
Speaker 1: killed everyone. I mean, not something I'd like to wake
Speaker 1: up to. It seems legit that he'd be upset. He's distraught,
Speaker 1: and he heads to the oracle at Delphie to seek
Speaker 1: Apollo's advice on what the hell to do with his
Speaker 1: life now. The oracle tells him that he has to
Speaker 1: serve his cousin, Eurystheus. That would be the child that
Speaker 1: was born just before Heracles himself, the child that Harah
Speaker 1: wanted to make high king again whatever that means. I
Speaker 1: think he's just a king. It was Wikipedia that said
Speaker 1: high king. I just liked it so I could make
Speaker 1: a joke. So Heracles is not super fond of Eurystheus
Speaker 1: in general, given he holds Heracles is rightful crown. So
Speaker 1: he's told that he must serve Eurystheus for twelve years,
Speaker 1: and during those twelve years he has to do any
Speaker 1: and everything Eurystheus orders, So I think you know that
Speaker 1: this is going to go well. And not only this,
Speaker 1: but the gods also told Eurystheus that he must assign
Speaker 1: super duper hard labors to Heracles. Like does this seem impossible? Great,
Speaker 1: tell Heracles to do it. That's essentially Eurystheus is mandate.
Speaker 1: Have Heracles do the impossible zero to hero just like that.
Speaker 1: But what Heracles doesn't know is that the God's plan
Speaker 1: to also make him immortal once he's completed these twelve
Speaker 1: years of service. And whatever labors Eurystheus assigence to him,
Speaker 1: those are to prove that he is indeed worthy to
Speaker 1: be a god and be immortal once completed. That'll be it,
Speaker 1: so bonus. But Heracles doesn't actually know this. Heracles heads
Speaker 1: to your with your with the us, guys, this word
Speaker 1: is awful. Greeks are nothing if not obedient to the oracle,
Speaker 1: and Eurystheus began to assign Heracles his labors. The first
Speaker 1: few take place in the Peloponnese that's the peninsula region
Speaker 1: in southern Greece. It's separated from the mainland by the
Speaker 1: its smiths a pointless fact that simply allowed me to
Speaker 1: use the word It's Smiths, You're welcome. The Peloponese was
Speaker 1: the home of Sparta and the OsO famous Peloponnesian War
Speaker 1: written about by Thucydites and the movie three hundred. At
Speaker 1: this time, the Peloponnese was a bit wild and dangerous,
Speaker 1: arguably as was the rest of Greece. But here's Eurystheus
Speaker 1: is thinking, what an awesome opportunity. I have to make
Speaker 1: it safer. There's a super strong hero who has to
Speaker 1: do anything I want. So that's where everything began for Heracles.
Speaker 1: First up, Eurystheus demands the hide of a lion, which
Speaker 1: is super depressing, but what can you do? And it's
Speaker 1: not just any lion that Eurystheus wants, No, it is
Speaker 1: a particular lion that has been terrifying the hills of
Speaker 1: nearby Nimia. Sound familiar, Yes, this is the Nimian lion,
Speaker 1: offspring of the Chimera and super duper strong, near impossible
Speaker 1: to kill. And why was it possible to kill? Well,
Speaker 1: heracles old friend Harrah had raised it specifically to be
Speaker 1: a trial for Heracles, and with that poorly prepared Cliffhanger,
Speaker 1: I leave you next week. How does Heracles defeat a
Speaker 1: lion whose skin is impenetrable? How will he handle it
Speaker 1: when his sword simply bends when he stabs it into
Speaker 1: the side of this lion? Will he go the distance?
Speaker 1: We'll see? Thank you all for listening. I'm going to
Speaker 1: admit something to you. Even I don't know that much
Speaker 1: about the true stories of Heracles. My own knowledge is
Speaker 1: based on Hercules, the animated movie and the resulting TV show,
Speaker 1: So I'm learning along with you so far. I questioned
Speaker 1: the use of Megara in the movie. I think they
Speaker 1: should have just given her another name. Better to make
Speaker 1: it wrong than suggest that. After the movie ended, and
Speaker 1: it's so called happily ever after that, Herk went on
Speaker 1: to go crazy and slaughter meg and their children. But hey,
Speaker 1: what can you do. I was just a kid, And
Speaker 1: I'll point out for anyone who watched the movie's resulting
Speaker 1: TV show about young hercules adventures in ancient Greek high school,
Speaker 1: his best friend in the show is a boy by
Speaker 1: the named of Icarus. Speaking of characters with tragic true stories. Also,
Speaker 1: I just watched Blade Runner, which one was amazing and
Speaker 1: two made me incredibly mode of aided to watch the
Speaker 1: Young Hercules TV show that famously beautiful and wonderful Canadian
Speaker 1: Ryan Gosling started as a youth. I will update you
Speaker 1: all as I heed this desire because I think it's
Speaker 1: on Netflix. Thank God for that. You're all magnificent. Kindly
Speaker 1: rate and review on iTunes if you haven't already. It
Speaker 1: makes me happy and helps other nerds find me, and
Speaker 1: I know we all want to share the myth nerd
Speaker 1: love with one another. I'm live, I can go the distance,
Speaker 1: and I love this ship.