Speaker 1: Oh hi, Hello, this is Let's talk about myths baby,
Speaker 1: and I am once again, as always, literally just such
Speaker 1: a predictable announcement every time I am your host live
Speaker 1: and well, oh am, I here again reading to you
Speaker 1: from Lucien's True History. I e one of the most
Speaker 1: ridiculous and hilarious pieces of ancient writing I have ever
Speaker 1: ever come across. Honestly, it's a piece of art. So
Speaker 1: another huge thank you to Ryan Denson for suggesting this
Speaker 1: to me. Truly what a gift. Now make sure that
Speaker 1: if you are listening to this, you have listened to
Speaker 1: last week's episode, because it starts this thing off. But
Speaker 1: also I give some background exactly on exactly who Lucian
Speaker 1: is and what he's doing with this piece of art.
Speaker 1: And once again I am here with a very very
Speaker 1: pre recorded episode, you know, just in case anything else
Speaker 1: horrific has happened in the world since I recorded this
Speaker 1: at the beginning of Russia's invasion of Ukraine. Who knows
Speaker 1: what the world will look like in just a few months.
Speaker 1: Sorry if I missed out, but I digress into darkness,
Speaker 1: and today is for the light and happy ridiculousness that
Speaker 1: is Lucien's True history where we last left our travelers,
Speaker 1: presumably but maybe not clear a Lucian himself. They had
Speaker 1: visited an island that had rivers of wine and weird
Speaker 1: tree women, before they went on to fly through the
Speaker 1: air and up to the moon. They're on the moon.
Speaker 1: They helped the King of the Moon and Dimmion in
Speaker 1: a war against the King of the Sun. Faith on
Speaker 1: truly so good the descriptions of the Moon and the
Speaker 1: Sun people alone, what a joy? Who knows what today
Speaker 1: has in store? Not me? Because I read this for
Speaker 1: the first time, as I recorded for you Seat of
Speaker 1: my Pants, as is necessary for a show that has
Speaker 1: two episodes per week, and sometimes I try to go
Speaker 1: on holidays. Seat of my Pants. Yeah, this is Lucien's
Speaker 1: true history, translated by Francis Hicks. Part two. Then we
Speaker 1: took our leaves of the king and such as were
Speaker 1: near him, and took shipping and departed, at which time
Speaker 1: and Dimion bestowed upon me two mantles made of their
Speaker 1: glass and five of brass, with a complete armor of
Speaker 1: those shells of Lupin's all, which I left behind me
Speaker 1: in the whale, and sent with us a thousand of
Speaker 1: his Hippogypians to conduct us five hundred furlongs on our way.
Speaker 1: In our course we coasted many other countries, and last
Speaker 1: arrived at the Morning Star, now newly inhabited, where we
Speaker 1: landed and took in fresh water. From thence we entered
Speaker 1: the Zodiac, passing by the sun, and leaving it on
Speaker 1: our right hand, took our course near unto the shore,
Speaker 1: but landed not in the country, though our company did
Speaker 1: much desire it, for the wind would not give us leave.
Speaker 1: But we saw it was a flourishing region, fat and
Speaker 1: well watered, abounding with all delights. But the Nephelis Centaurs,
Speaker 1: espying us, who were mercenary soldiers to Fithon, made to
Speaker 1: our ship as fast as they could, and finding us
Speaker 1: to be friends, said no more unto us. Four our
Speaker 1: Hippoglypians were departed. Before then we made forwards all the
Speaker 1: next night and day, and about evening tide following we
Speaker 1: came to a city called Like Noples, still holding on
Speaker 1: our course downwards. The city is seated in the air
Speaker 1: between the Pleiades and the Hyades, somewhat lower than the Zodiac,
Speaker 1: and arriving there not a man was to be seen
Speaker 1: but lights in great number, running to and fro, which
Speaker 1: were employed, some in the market place, and some about
Speaker 1: the haven, of which many were little, and as a
Speaker 1: man may say, but poor things. Some again were great
Speaker 1: and mighty, exceeding glorious and resplendent, And there were places
Speaker 1: of receipt for them. All. Everyone had his name as
Speaker 1: well as men, and we did hear them speak. These
Speaker 1: did us no harm, but invited us to feast with them.
Speaker 1: Yet we were so fearful that we didn't either eat
Speaker 1: or sleep as long as we were there. Their court
Speaker 1: of justice stands in the midst of the city, where
Speaker 1: the governor sits all the night long, calling everyone by name,
Speaker 1: And he that answers not is judged to die, as
Speaker 1: if he had forsaken his ranks. Their death is to
Speaker 1: be quenched. We, also, standing amongst them, saw what was done,
Speaker 1: and heard what answers the lights made for themselves, and
Speaker 1: the reasons they alleged for tarrying so long there. We
Speaker 1: always knew our own light, and spoke unto it, and
Speaker 1: questioned it of our affairs, and how we all did there,
Speaker 1: which related everything unto us. That night we made our
Speaker 1: abode there, and on the next morrow returned to our ship, and,
Speaker 1: sailing near unto the clouds, had a sight of the
Speaker 1: city Nephelococca Gaia, which we beheld with great wonder, but
Speaker 1: entered not into it, for the wind was against us.
Speaker 1: The city thereof was Coronus, the son of co Typheon.
Speaker 1: And I could not choose but think upon the poet Aristophanes,
Speaker 1: how wise a man he was, and how true a reporter,
Speaker 1: and how little cause there is to question his fatality
Speaker 1: for what he has written. The third after, the ocean
Speaker 1: appeared plainly unto us, though we could not see land,
Speaker 1: but what was in the air, and those countries also
Speaker 1: seemed to be fiery and of a glittering color. The
Speaker 1: fourth day, about noon, the wind gently forbearing, settled us
Speaker 1: far and leisurely into the sea, And as soon as
Speaker 1: we found ourselves upon water, we were surprised with incredible gladness,
Speaker 1: and our joy was unexpressible. We feasted and made merry.
Speaker 1: With such provision as we had, we cast ourselves into
Speaker 1: the sea and swam up and down for our disport,
Speaker 1: for it was a calm. But oftentimes it falls out
Speaker 1: that the change to the better is the beginning of
Speaker 1: greater evils, For when we had made only two days
Speaker 1: sail in the water, as soon as the third day
Speaker 1: appeared about sunrising upon a sudden we saw many monstrous
Speaker 1: fishes and whales, but one above the rest, containing in
Speaker 1: greatness fifteen hundred furlongs, which came gaping upon us and
Speaker 1: troubled the sea round about him, so that he was
Speaker 1: compassed on every side with froth and foam, showing his
Speaker 1: teeth afar off, which were longer than any beech trees
Speaker 1: are with us, all as sharp as needles and as
Speaker 1: white as ivory. Then we took, as we thought, our
Speaker 1: last leaves of one another, and embracing together, expected our
Speaker 1: ending day. The monster was presently with us and swallowed
Speaker 1: us up, ship and all, but by chance he caught
Speaker 1: us not between his chops, for all the ship slipped
Speaker 1: through the void passages down into his entrails. When we
Speaker 1: were thus got within him, we continued a good while
Speaker 1: in darkness, and could see nothing till he began to gape,
Speaker 1: And then we perceived it to be a monstrous wail,
Speaker 1: of a huge breadth and height, big and off to
Speaker 1: contain a city that would hold ten thousand men, And
Speaker 1: within we found small fishes, and many other creatures chopped
Speaker 1: in pieces, and the masts of ships and anchors, and
Speaker 1: bones of men and luggage. In the midst of him
Speaker 1: was earth and hills, which were raised, as I conjectured,
Speaker 1: by the settling of the mud which came down his throat.
Speaker 1: For woods grew upon them, and trees of all sorts,
Speaker 1: and all manner of herbs, and it looked as if
Speaker 1: it had been husbanded. The compass of the land was
Speaker 1: two hundred and forty furlongs. There were also to be
Speaker 1: seen of all kinds of seafowl, as gulls, halcyons, and
Speaker 1: others that had made their nests upon the trees. Then
Speaker 1: we fell to weeping abundantly, But at the last I
Speaker 1: roused up my company and propped up our ship and
Speaker 1: struck fire. Then we made ready supper of such as
Speaker 1: we had, for abundance of all sorts of fish lay
Speaker 1: ready by us, and we had yet water enough, left,
Speaker 1: which we brought out of the morning star. The next morrow,
Speaker 1: we rose to watch when the whales should gape, and then,
Speaker 1: looking out we could sometimes see mountains, sometimes only the skies,
Speaker 1: and many times islands. For we found that the fish
Speaker 1: carrying himself with great swiftness to every part of the sea.
Speaker 1: When we grew weary of this, I took seven of
Speaker 1: my company and went into the wood to see what
Speaker 1: I could find there. And we had not gone about
Speaker 1: five furlongs, but we light upon a temple erected to Neptune,
Speaker 1: as by the title appeared, and not far off we
Speaker 1: aspied many sepulchers and pillars placed upon them, with a
Speaker 1: fountain of clear water close unto it. We also heard
Speaker 1: the barking of a dog, and saw smoke rise afar off,
Speaker 1: so that we judged there was some dwelling thereabout. Wherefore,
Speaker 1: making the more haste, we lighted upon an old man
Speaker 1: and a youth who were very busy in making a
Speaker 1: garden in conveying water by a channel from the fountain
Speaker 1: into it. Whereupon we were surprised both with joy and fear,
Speaker 1: and they also were brought into the same taking, and
Speaker 1: for a long time remained mute. But after some pause
Speaker 1: the old man said, what are you you strangers, any
Speaker 1: of the sea spirits, or miserable men like unto us?
Speaker 1: For we that are men by nature born and bread
Speaker 1: and the earth, are now sea dwellers and swim up
Speaker 1: and down within the continent of this whale, and know
Speaker 1: not certainly what to think of ourselves. We are like
Speaker 1: to men that be dead, and yet believe ourselves to
Speaker 1: be alive. Whereunto I answered, for our parts, father, we
Speaker 1: are men also newly come hither and swallowed up ship
Speaker 1: and all but yesterday, and now come purposely within this wood,
Speaker 1: which is so large and thick. Some good angel, I think,
Speaker 1: did guide us hither to have the sight of you,
Speaker 1: and to make us know that we are not the
Speaker 1: only men confined within the monster. Tell us, therefore your fortunes.
Speaker 1: We beseech you what you are and how you came
Speaker 1: into this place. But he answered, you shall not hear
Speaker 1: a word from me, nor ask any more questions, until
Speaker 1: you have taken part of such v ends as we
Speaker 1: are able to afford you. So he took us and
Speaker 1: brought us into his house, which was sufficient to serve
Speaker 1: his turn. His palates were prepared, and all things else
Speaker 1: made ready. Then he said before us herbs and nuts
Speaker 1: and fish, and filed out of his own wine unto us,
Speaker 1: And when we were sufficiently satisfied, he then demanded of
Speaker 1: us what fortunes we had endured, and I related all
Speaker 1: things to him in order that had betied unto us,
Speaker 1: the tempest, the passages in the island, our navigation in
Speaker 1: the air, our war, and all the rest, even til
Speaker 1: are diving into the whale. Whereat he wondered exceedingly and
Speaker 1: began to deliver also what had befallen to him, and
Speaker 1: said by lineage, O, you strangers, I am of the
Speaker 1: Isle of Cyprus, and traveling from mine own country as
Speaker 1: a merchant, with my son you see here, and many
Speaker 1: other friends with me, made a voyage for Italy, and
Speaker 1: a great ship full fraught with merchandise, which perhaps you
Speaker 1: have seen broken in pieces in the mouth of the whale.
Speaker 1: We sailed with fair weather till we were as far
Speaker 1: as Sicily, But there we were overtaken with such a
Speaker 1: boisterous storm that the third day we were driven into
Speaker 1: the ocean, where it was our fortune to meet with
Speaker 1: this whale, which swallowed us all up, and only we
Speaker 1: two escaped with our lives. All the rest perished, whom
Speaker 1: we have here buried and built a temple to Neptune.
Speaker 1: Ever since we have continued this course of life, planting
Speaker 1: herbs and feeding upon fish and nuts, here is wood enough,
Speaker 1: you see, and plenty of vines which yield most delicate wine.
Speaker 1: We have also a well of excellent cool water, which
Speaker 1: it may be you have seen. We make our beds
Speaker 1: of the leaves of trees, and burn as much wood
Speaker 1: as we will. We chase after the birds that fly
Speaker 1: about us, and go out upon the gills of the
Speaker 1: monster to catch after live fishes. Here we bathe ourselves
Speaker 1: when we are disposed, For we have a lake of
Speaker 1: salt water not far off, about some twenty furlongs encompass,
Speaker 1: full of sundry sorts of fish, in which we swim
Speaker 1: and sail upon it in a little boat of my
Speaker 1: own making. This is the seventh and twentieth year of
Speaker 1: our drowning. And with all this we might be well
Speaker 1: enough contented if our neighbors and borderers about us were
Speaker 1: not perverse and troublesome, altogether in sociable and of stern condition.
Speaker 1: Is it so, indeed, said I, that there should be
Speaker 1: any within the whale but yourselves, many said he, And
Speaker 1: such as are unreconcilable towards strangers, and of monstrous and
Speaker 1: deformed proportions. The western countries and the tail part of
Speaker 1: the wood are inhabited by the Turitanians that look like
Speaker 1: eels with faces like a lobster. These are warlike, fierce,
Speaker 1: and feed upon raw flesh. They that dwell towards the
Speaker 1: right side are called the trite and nominated towns, which
Speaker 1: have their upper parts like unto fish. They're lower parts
Speaker 1: like cats and are less offensive than the rest. On
Speaker 1: the left side inhabit the Carcino Curians and the Thinnocapalians,
Speaker 1: which are in league with one another. The middle region
Speaker 1: is possessed by the Pagurideans and the past hope Odeans,
Speaker 1: a warlike nation and swift of foot. Eastwards towards the
Speaker 1: mouth is for the most part deserted, as overwashed by
Speaker 1: the sea. Yet I am fain to take that for
Speaker 1: my dwelling, paying yearly to the Postopians in way tribute
Speaker 1: five hundred oysters of so many nations does this country consist.
Speaker 1: We must therefore devise among ourselves either how to be
Speaker 1: able to fight with them, or how to live among them.
Speaker 1: What number may they all amount to, said I? More
Speaker 1: than a thousand, said he? And what armor have they?
Speaker 1: None at all? Said he? But the bones of fishes,
Speaker 1: then were at our best course, said I, to encounter them,
Speaker 1: being provided as we are, and they without weapons, For
Speaker 1: if we prove too hard for them, we shall afterwards
Speaker 1: live out of fear. This we concluded upon, and went
Speaker 1: to our ship to furnish ourselves with arms. The occasion
Speaker 1: of war we gave by non payment of tribute, which
Speaker 1: then was due, for they sent their messengers to demand it,
Speaker 1: to whom he gave a harsh and scornful answer, and
Speaker 1: sent them packing with their warrant. But the Pesetopodians and
Speaker 1: the Pegurideans, taking it ill at the hands of skin Thoris,
Speaker 1: for so was the man named, came against us with
Speaker 1: a great tumult, and we, suspecting what they were to do,
Speaker 1: stood upon our guard to wait for them, and laid
Speaker 1: five and twenty of our men in ambush, commanding them
Speaker 1: as soon as the enemy was passed by, to set
Speaker 1: upon them, who did so, and arose out of their
Speaker 1: ambush and fell upon the rear. We, also, being five
Speaker 1: and twenty in number, for skin Thoris and his son
Speaker 1: were marshaled among us, advanced to meet with them, and
Speaker 1: encountered them with great courage and strength. But in the
Speaker 1: end we put them to fight, and pursued them into
Speaker 1: their very dens. Of the enemies were slain a hundred
Speaker 1: three score and ten, and but one of us, besides Trigles,
Speaker 1: our pilot, who was thrust through the back with a
Speaker 1: fish's rib. All that day following and the night after
Speaker 1: we lodged in our trenches and said on end a
Speaker 1: dry backbone of a dolphin instead of a trophy. The
Speaker 1: next morrow the rest of the country, people, perceiving what
Speaker 1: had happened, came to assault us. The Tarcanians were ranged
Speaker 1: in the right wing with Palamas they're captain. The thin
Speaker 1: O'cafalians were placed in the left wing. The carcinok Arians
Speaker 1: made up the main battle. For the Tritonomende hands stirred.
Speaker 1: Not neither would they join with either part. About the
Speaker 1: temple of Neptune, we met with them and joined fight
Speaker 1: with a great cry, which was answered with an echo
Speaker 1: out of the whale, as if it had been out
Speaker 1: of a cave. But we soon put them to flight,
Speaker 1: being naked people, and chase them into the wood, making
Speaker 1: ourselves master of the country. Soon after they sent ambassadors
Speaker 1: to us to crave the bodies of the dead and
Speaker 1: to treat upon conditions of peace. But we had no
Speaker 1: purpose to hold friendship with them, but set upon them
Speaker 1: the next day and put them all to the sword,
Speaker 1: except the tritonomit hands, who, seeing how it fared with
Speaker 1: the rest of their fellows, fled away through the gills
Speaker 1: of the fish and cast themselves into the sea. Then
Speaker 1: we traveled all the country over which was now deserted,
Speaker 1: and dwelt there afterwards without fear of enemies, spending the
Speaker 1: time in exercise of the body, and in hunting, in
Speaker 1: planting vineyards, and gathering fruits of the trees, like such
Speaker 1: men as lived delicately and have the world at will
Speaker 1: in a spacious and unavoidable prison. This kind of life
Speaker 1: led we for a year and eight months. But when
Speaker 1: the fifth day of the ninth month was come about
Speaker 1: the time of the second opening of his mouth, For
Speaker 1: so the whale did once every hour, whereby we conjectured
Speaker 1: how the hours went away, I say about the second opening,
Speaker 1: upon a sudden we heard a great cry and a
Speaker 1: mighty noise, like the calls of mariners, and the stirring
Speaker 1: of oars, which troubled us not a little. Wherefore we
Speaker 1: crept up to the very mouth of the fish, and
Speaker 1: standing within his teeth, saw the strangest sight that ever
Speaker 1: I beheld men of monstrous greatness, half a furlong in stature,
Speaker 1: sailing upon mighty great islands, as if they were upon shipboard.
Speaker 1: I know you will think this smells like a lie,
Speaker 1: but yet you shall have it. The islands were of
Speaker 1: a good length, indeed, but not very high, containing about
Speaker 1: a hundred furlongs encompass. Every one of these carried of
Speaker 1: those kind of men, eight and twent, of which some
Speaker 1: sat on either side of the island and rowed in
Speaker 1: their course with great cypress trees, branches, leaves and all
Speaker 1: instead of oars. On the stern or hinder part, as
Speaker 1: I take it, stood the governor upon a high hill,
Speaker 1: with a brazen rudder of a furlong and length in
Speaker 1: his hand. On the four parts stood forty such fellows
Speaker 1: as those armed for the fight, resembling men in all points,
Speaker 1: but in their hair, which was all fire and burnt clearly,
Speaker 1: so that they needed no helmets. Instead of sales. The
Speaker 1: wood growing in the island did serve their turns, for
Speaker 1: the wind blowing against it drove it forward the island
Speaker 1: like a ship, and carried it which way the governor
Speaker 1: would have it, for they had pilots to direct them,
Speaker 1: and were as nimble to be stirred with oars as
Speaker 1: any long boat. At the first we had the sight,
Speaker 1: but of two or three of them. Afterwards appeared no
Speaker 1: less than six hundred, which to finding themselves into two parts,
Speaker 1: prepared for encounter, in which many of them, by meeting
Speaker 1: with their barks together, were broken in pieces. Many were
Speaker 1: turned over and drowned that they closed, fought lustily and
Speaker 1: would not easily be parted, for the soldiers in the
Speaker 1: front showed a great deal of valor, entering one upon another,
Speaker 1: and killed all they could, for none were taken prisoners.
Speaker 1: Instead of iron grapples, they had mighty great polypodies fast hide,
Speaker 1: which they cast at the other, and if they once
Speaker 1: laid hold on the wood, they made the aisle sure
Speaker 1: enough for stirring. They darted and wounded one another with
Speaker 1: oysters that would fill a wayne, and sponges as big
Speaker 1: as an acre. The leader on the one side was
Speaker 1: Aola centaurus, and of the other fassalopotes. The quarrel, as
Speaker 1: it seems, grew about taking a booty, for they said
Speaker 1: that Theassala potes drove away many flocks of dolphins that
Speaker 1: belonged to Aola Centaurus, as we heard by their clamors
Speaker 1: to one another and calling upon the names of their kings.
Speaker 1: But Iola Centaurus had the better of the day and
Speaker 1: sunk one hundred and fifty of the enemy's islands, and
Speaker 1: three they took with the men, and all the rest
Speaker 1: withdrew themselves and fled, whom the other pursued, but not
Speaker 1: far because it grew towards evening, but returned to those
Speaker 1: that were wrecked and broken, which they also recovered for
Speaker 1: the most part, and took their own away with them,
Speaker 1: for on their part they were no less than four
Speaker 1: score islands drowned. Then they erected a trophy for a
Speaker 1: monument of this island fight, and fastened one of the
Speaker 1: enemy's islands with a stake upon the head of the whale.
Speaker 1: That night they lodged close by the beast, casting their
Speaker 1: cables about him, and anchored near unto him. Their anchors
Speaker 1: are huge and gray, made of glass, but of a
Speaker 1: wonderful strength. The morrow after, when they had sacrificed upon
Speaker 1: the top of the whale, and they're buried their dead,
Speaker 1: they sailed away with great triumph and songs of victory,
Speaker 1: and this was the manner of the island's fight. Upon
Speaker 1: this we began to be weary of our abode in
Speaker 1: the whale, and our arrians there did much trouble us.
Speaker 1: We therefore set all our wits to work to find
Speaker 1: out some means or other to clear us from our captivity. First,
Speaker 1: we thought it would do well to dig a hole
Speaker 1: through his right side and make our escape that way forth,
Speaker 1: which we began to labor at lustily. But after we
Speaker 1: had pierced him five furlongs deep and found it was
Speaker 1: to no purpose, we gave it over. Then we devised
Speaker 1: to set the wood on fire, for that would certainly
Speaker 1: kill him without all question, and being once dead, our
Speaker 1: issue would be easy enough. This he also put into practice,
Speaker 1: and began our project at the tail end, which burnt
Speaker 1: seven days and as many nights before he had any
Speaker 1: feeling of our fireworks. Upon the eighth and ninth days,
Speaker 1: we perceived he began to grow sickly, for he gaped
Speaker 1: more dully than he was wont to do, and sooner
Speaker 1: closed his mouth again. The tenth and eleventh he was
Speaker 1: thoroughly mortified and began to stink. Upon the twelfth day
Speaker 1: we bethought ourselves, though almost too late, that unless we
Speaker 1: under propped his chops when he gaped next to keep
Speaker 1: them from closing, we could be in danger of perpetual
Speaker 1: imprisonment within his dead carcass, and they're miserably perish. We
Speaker 1: therefore pitched long beams of timber upright within his mouth
Speaker 1: to keep it from shutting, and then made our ship
Speaker 1: in a readiness, and provided ourselves with store of fresh
Speaker 1: water and all other things necessary for our use, skin
Speaker 1: for us, taking upon him to be our pilot, And
Speaker 1: the next morrow the whale died. Then we hauled our
Speaker 1: ship through the void passages, and fastening cables about his teeth,
Speaker 1: by little and little, settled it into the sea, and
Speaker 1: mounting the back of the whale, sacrifice to Neptune, and
Speaker 1: for three days together took up our lodging hard by
Speaker 1: the trophy for which we were becalmed. The fourth day
Speaker 1: we put to sea and met with many dead corpses
Speaker 1: that perished in the late sea fight, which our ship
Speaker 1: hit against, whose bodies we took measure of with great admiration,
Speaker 1: and sailed for a few days in very temperate weather.
Speaker 1: But after that the north wind blew so bitterly that
Speaker 1: a great frost ensued, wherewith the whole sea was frozen up,
Speaker 1: not only superficially upon the upper part, but in depth
Speaker 1: also the depth of four hundred fathoms, so that we
Speaker 1: were fain to forstake our ship and run upon the ice.
Speaker 1: The wind sitting long in this corner, and we were
Speaker 1: not able to endure it. Put this device in practice,
Speaker 1: which was the invention of skinn thoris. With maddox and
Speaker 1: other instruments, we made a mighty cave in the water,
Speaker 1: wherein we sheltered ourselves forty days together. In it we
Speaker 1: kindled fire and fed upon fish, of which we found
Speaker 1: great plenty in our digging. At the last, our provision
Speaker 1: falling short, we returned to our frozen ship, which we
Speaker 1: set upright and spreading her sails, went forward as well
Speaker 1: as if we had been upon water, leisurely and gently
Speaker 1: sliding upon the ice. But on the fifth day the
Speaker 1: weather grew warm and the frost broke, and all was
Speaker 1: turned to water again. We had not sailed three hundred
Speaker 1: furlongs forward, but we came to a little island that
Speaker 1: was deserted, where we only took in fresh water, which
Speaker 1: was now began to fail us, and with our shot
Speaker 1: killed two wild bulls, and so departed. These bulls have
Speaker 1: their horns growing not upon their heads, but under their eyes.
Speaker 1: As Momas thought it better, then we entered into a sea,
Speaker 1: not of water, but of milk, in which appeared a
Speaker 1: white island full of vines. This island was only a
Speaker 1: great cheese, well pressed, as we afterwards found when we
Speaker 1: fed upon it, about some five and twenty furlongs in bigness.
Speaker 1: The vines were of clusters of grapes, out of which
Speaker 1: we could crush no wine, but only milk. In the
Speaker 1: midst of the island there was a temple dedicated to Galatea,
Speaker 1: one of the daughters of Narius, as by the inscription appeared.
Speaker 1: As long as we remained there, the soil yielded us
Speaker 1: food and victuals, and our drink was the milk that
Speaker 1: came out of the grapes in these, as they said,
Speaker 1: rains Tiro, the daughter of Salmonious, who after her departure,
Speaker 1: received this gardon at the hands of Neptune. In this
Speaker 1: island we rested ourselves five days, and on the sixth
Speaker 1: put to sea again, a gentle gale attending us, and
Speaker 1: the seas all still and quiet. The eighth day, as
Speaker 1: we sailed onward, not in milk any longer, but in
Speaker 1: salt and azure water, we saw many men running upon
Speaker 1: the sea, like unto us every way forth, both in
Speaker 1: shape and stature, but only for their feet, which were
Speaker 1: of cork, whereupon I suppose they had the name of Felipodes.
Speaker 1: We marveled much when we saw they did not sink,
Speaker 1: but keep above water and travel upon it. So boldly
Speaker 1: they came unto us and saluted us in the Grecian language,
Speaker 1: and said they were bound towards Fellow, their own country,
Speaker 1: and for a while ran along by us, but at
Speaker 1: last turned their own way and left us, wishing us
Speaker 1: a happy and prosperous voyage. Within a while, many islands appeared,
Speaker 1: and near unto them upon our left stood Fellow, the
Speaker 1: place whereunto they had leveled, which was a city seated
Speaker 1: upon a mighty, great and round cork. Further off, and
Speaker 1: more towards the right hand, we saw five other islands,
Speaker 1: large and mountainous, in which much fire was burning. But
Speaker 1: directly before us was a spacious flat island distant from us,
Speaker 1: not above five hundred furlongs, and approaching somewhat near unto it,
Speaker 1: a wonderful, fragrant air breathed upon us of a most
Speaker 1: sweet and delicate smell, such as Herodotus, the story writer says,
Speaker 1: arises out of Arabia, the happy consisting of a mixture
Speaker 1: of roses, daffodils, gillyflowers, lilies, violets, myrtles, bays, and blossoms
Speaker 1: of vines, Such a dainty, odoriferous savor was conveyed unto us.
Speaker 1: Being delighted with this smell, and hoping for better fortunes
Speaker 1: after our long labors, we got within a little of
Speaker 1: the eye, in which we found many havens on every side,
Speaker 1: not subject to overflowing, and yet of great capacity, and
Speaker 1: rivers of clear water emptying themselves easily into the sea,
Speaker 1: with meadows and herbs and musical birds, some singing upon
Speaker 1: the shore, and many upon the branches of trees. A
Speaker 1: still and gentle air compassing the whole country. When pleasant
Speaker 1: blasts gently stirred the woods, the motion of the branches
Speaker 1: made a continual, delightsome melody, like the sound of wind
Speaker 1: instruments in a solitary place. Kind of clamor also was
Speaker 1: heard mixed with it, yet not tumultuous nor offensive, but
Speaker 1: like the noise of a banquet. When some do play
Speaker 1: on wind instruments, some commend the music, and some with
Speaker 1: their hands applaud the pipe or the harp, all which
Speaker 1: yielded us so great content that we boldly entered the haven,
Speaker 1: made fast our ship, and landed, leaving in her only
Speaker 1: Skintharus and two more of our companions behind us. Passing
Speaker 1: along through a sweet meadow, we met with the guards
Speaker 1: that used to sail about the island, who took us
Speaker 1: and bound us with garlands of roses, which are the
Speaker 1: strictest bands. They have to be carried to their governor.
Speaker 1: From them we heard, as we were upon the way,
Speaker 1: that it was the island of those that were called blessed,
Speaker 1: and that rhadamanthus was governor there to whom we were
Speaker 1: brought and placed the fourth in order of them that
Speaker 1: were to be judged, The first trial was about Ajax,
Speaker 1: the son of Telemann, whether he were a meat man
Speaker 1: to be admitted into the society of the heroes or not.
Speaker 1: The objections against him were his madness and the killing
Speaker 1: of himself, and after long pleading to and fro rhadamanthus
Speaker 1: gave this sentence that for the present he should be
Speaker 1: put to Hippocrates, the physician of costs, to be purged
Speaker 1: with Helleboris, and upon the recovery of his wits, to
Speaker 1: have admittance. The second was a controversy of love, Theseus
Speaker 1: and Metelius, contending which had the better right to Helen.
Speaker 1: But rhadamanthus gave judgment on Menelaus's side in respect of
Speaker 1: the manifold labors and perils he had incurred for that
Speaker 1: marriage's sake, whereas Theseus had wives enough beside to live
Speaker 1: withal As the Amazon and the daughter of Minos. The
Speaker 1: third was a question of presidency between Alexander, the son
Speaker 1: of Philip, and Hannibal the Carthaginian, in which Alexander was
Speaker 1: preferred and his throne placed next to the elder Cyrus
Speaker 1: the Persian. In the fourth place, we appeared, and he
Speaker 1: demanded of us what reason we had, being living men,
Speaker 1: to take land in that sacred country. And we told
Speaker 1: him all our adventures in order as they befell us.
Speaker 1: Then he commanded us to stand aside, and, considering upon
Speaker 1: it a great while, in the end, proposed it to
Speaker 1: the ventures, which were many, and among them Aristides the
Speaker 1: Athenian surnamed the Just, and when he was provided what
Speaker 1: sentenced to deliver, he said that for our busy curiosity
Speaker 1: and needless travels, we should be accountable after our death,
Speaker 1: but for the present we should have a time limited
Speaker 1: for our abode, during which we should feast with the
Speaker 1: heroes and then depart, prefixing us seven months liberty to
Speaker 1: conclude our charriants, and no more. Then our garlands fell
Speaker 1: off from us themselves, and we were set loose and
Speaker 1: led into the city to feast with the blessed. The
Speaker 1: city was all of gold, compassed with a wall made
Speaker 1: of the precious stone Samaragadas, which had seven gates, everyone
Speaker 1: cut out of a whole piece of timber of cinnamon tree.
Speaker 1: The pavement of the city, and all the ground within
Speaker 1: the walls was ivory. The temples of all the gods
Speaker 1: are built out of barrel, with large altars made all
Speaker 1: of one whole amethyst, upon which they offer their sacrifices.
Speaker 1: About the city runs a river of most excellent sweet
Speaker 1: ointment in breadth the hundred cubits of the larger measure,
Speaker 1: and so deep that a man may swim in it
Speaker 1: with ease. For their baths, they have great houses of glass,
Speaker 1: which they warm with cinnamon, and their bathing tubs are
Speaker 1: filled with warm dew instead of water. They're only garments,
Speaker 1: are cobwebs of purple color. Neither have they any bodies,
Speaker 1: but are intactile and without flesh, a mere shape and
Speaker 1: presentation only, and being thus bodyless, Yet they stand and
Speaker 1: are moved, are intelligent and can speak, and their naked
Speaker 1: soul seems to wander up and down in a corporeal likeness.
Speaker 1: For if a man touches them, not he can't say
Speaker 1: otherwise but that they have bodies altogether like shadows, standing
Speaker 1: upright and not as they are of a dark color.
Speaker 1: No man waxes any older there than he was before.
Speaker 1: But of what age he comes thither, so he continues.
Speaker 1: Neither is there any night with them, nor indeed clear day,
Speaker 1: but like the twilight towards morning before the sun is up.
Speaker 1: Such a kind of light do they live in. They
Speaker 1: know but one season of the year, which is the spring,
Speaker 1: and feel no other wind but zephyrus. The region flourishes
Speaker 1: with all sorts of flowers and with all pleasing plants,
Speaker 1: fit for shade. Their vines bear fruit twelve times a year,
Speaker 1: every month once their pomegranate trees, their apple trees, and
Speaker 1: their other fruit they say bear thirteen times in the year.
Speaker 1: For in the month called Menus, they bear twice. Instead
Speaker 1: of wheat, their ears bear them loaves of bread ready
Speaker 1: baked like into mushrooms. About the city are three hundred,
Speaker 1: three score and five wells of water, and as many
Speaker 1: of honey, and five hundred of sweet ointment, for they
Speaker 1: are less than the other. They have seven rivers of
Speaker 1: milk and eight of wine, whole nerds. I'm cutting you
Speaker 1: off there. We're just beginning to learn of Elysium the Eye,
Speaker 1: and of the Blessed, and all the weird rivers of
Speaker 1: random liquids that Lucian seems to have a real thing for.
Speaker 1: This book so weird. I love it so much. It's
Speaker 1: so ridiculous. Oh my god, like they live inside a
Speaker 1: whale for like two years, like two years. Incredible. Anyway,
Speaker 1: this is truly so much fun. I can't express how
Speaker 1: much fun. It's such a joy. Uh And I will
Speaker 1: be back next week with a full rundown of Elysium
Speaker 1: and all the heroes they meet and hang out with
Speaker 1: their along with I mean gods, the whole rest of
Speaker 1: the story, because if you think Lucian's done, you're wrong.
Speaker 1: Just one more episode of this messy thing of incredible wonder.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's just so much fun. Thank you
Speaker 1: all so much for listening. As always, I am live
Speaker 1: and I love this ship.