Speaker 1: Hello, Puzzlers, Welcome to the Puzzler Podcast. The CVV number
Speaker 1: in your daily puzzle credit card. I'm your host, AJ Jacobs,
Speaker 1: and I am here with our guest, the legendary Mike Greese,
Speaker 1: longtime writer for The Simpsons and author of the new
Speaker 1: book What Am I Doing here? A Simpsons writer visits
Speaker 1: the world's hell hos. So you don't have to welcome Mike.
Speaker 2: Great to be here.
Speaker 1: I'm delighted to have you. And as Mike g Reese
Speaker 1: fans know, maybe some other benighted souls do not know.
Speaker 1: You are a huge traveler. How many countries are you
Speaker 1: up to now?
Speaker 3: I am at one hundred and thirty nine countries and
Speaker 3: I'm actually about to pick up five or six more
Speaker 3: next week.
Speaker 1: Which are those?
Speaker 2: Guess ever?
Speaker 3: I'm on a cruise and hitting a bunch of Caribbean islands,
Speaker 3: trying to hit them all.
Speaker 2: But it's just the way my life is.
Speaker 1: Words, cracking them up. And then you write books and
Speaker 1: do a podcast about your travels, and not the parts
Speaker 1: that are fun, the parts that are painful for you
Speaker 1: because we like to see you.
Speaker 3: They're painful for me, they're fun for other people. It's
Speaker 3: a fun funny podcast about my misery.
Speaker 2: But you'll I do. You don't have to say nice
Speaker 2: short podcast. This is for you. What am I doing here?
Speaker 1: Well, this in honor of that is a travel puzzle
Speaker 1: and all of the answers are names of countries, but
Speaker 1: the clue contains terrible puns on the country name, so
Speaker 1: the answer will be a combination of two words that
Speaker 1: punnily create a country's name. So, for instance, if I said,
Speaker 1: after a long Christmas day, Santa clause went back to
Speaker 1: the north blank blank, took a nap, what would that be?
Speaker 2: I think that would be Poland.
Speaker 1: Exactly North Pole and took a nap. You combine them,
Speaker 1: you get Poland. By the way, I just read that
Speaker 1: section of your book on the North Pole.
Speaker 3: Oh yes, it's not many people have made that trip.
Speaker 3: There've only been one hundred ships that have made it
Speaker 3: to the North Pole. And I was on one of
Speaker 3: them and just very quickly. It was a nuclear Russian
Speaker 3: icebreaker with no entertainment on board. So one day the
Speaker 3: only thing they when they saw people getting bored, they said,
Speaker 3: well you can tour the nuclear core of the ship,
Speaker 3: and they let me in there. I got to touch
Speaker 3: the nuclear core and now I can't have children.
Speaker 1: That is a wonderful little landmark. You got to see.
Speaker 1: You were also disappointed there is no actual North Pole,
Speaker 1: which seems it's crazy, like that's a missed opportunity for
Speaker 1: the North Pole Tourist Bureau.
Speaker 3: This there's a pole at the South Pole. Some Americans
Speaker 3: on an air Force base put one up. The North
Speaker 3: Pole is just floating ice, so there's no way to
Speaker 3: really put a good pole there. But in the nineteen fifties,
Speaker 3: these guys built a big candy cane striped pole for
Speaker 3: the North Pole.
Speaker 2: They put it in parades all over America.
Speaker 3: And then they had no endgame, so they just put
Speaker 3: it in a plane. They flew over the North Pole
Speaker 3: and they pushed it out of the airplane and it's
Speaker 3: never been seen again.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that doesn't seem like they planned ahead so well.
Speaker 2: They did not think it through.
Speaker 1: Uh all right, are you ready?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 3: It would be funny if it had fallen and like
Speaker 3: killed a polar bear or something like that.
Speaker 1: Or Santa Claus. Maybe. Yeah, all right, here's your first clue.
Speaker 1: I love the vowels a io and you and sometimes
Speaker 1: even why but I blank blank.
Speaker 2: Hey, I own you, but I E jipped, oh.
Speaker 1: I love the vowels A, I O and you but
Speaker 1: I blank oh, oh, I hate E exactly, I hate
Speaker 1: E yes exactly.
Speaker 2: You got all right, I'll warm into this.
Speaker 1: You got it all right? Uh. If your Alexa is broken,
Speaker 1: you can always get out your phone and ask blank
Speaker 1: blank question.
Speaker 2: That would be you can ask Siri.
Speaker 1: A question, exactly have you been to Syria?
Speaker 3: I have been to Syria and I got there just
Speaker 3: under the wire. It was one of the loveliest places
Speaker 3: in the world with the people on Earth, and so
Speaker 3: it makes it extra sad. What's what's been happening there?
Speaker 3: These are literally the finest people I've ever met in
Speaker 3: my life.
Speaker 1: So you wouldn't go there now, don't recommend?
Speaker 2: Well I would, but.
Speaker 1: Homer Simpson voice actor Castellanita did me wrong, and I
Speaker 1: am going to take him to court. I've decided to
Speaker 1: blank blank.
Speaker 3: There's another place I've been that nobody goes, which is
Speaker 3: I will sue Dan exactly. Sue Sue Dan is one
Speaker 3: of the most interesting places in the world.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what was it like?
Speaker 3: What it was like is nobody goes there, nobody visits,
Speaker 3: and it's but they act like they're overrun with tourists.
Speaker 3: They're just they just are completely deluded.
Speaker 2: They go live.
Speaker 3: I've never seen the place so crowded and there's nobody there.
Speaker 1: Well maybe you being there made of crowded like you.
Speaker 2: I guess. So one is a crowd.
Speaker 3: And they have more pyramids than Egypt. And they have
Speaker 3: so many pyramids. They don't care what you do with them.
Speaker 3: You can climb them. I slept in one one night.
Speaker 3: It's it's a beautiful place.
Speaker 1: You slept in, like the tomb of the Pharaoh from
Speaker 1: from that era.
Speaker 2: Well it was.
Speaker 3: They're not huge pyramids, but you know that's it. They're
Speaker 3: not guarding them. They got they got pyramids like like
Speaker 3: Seattle has coffee showers.
Speaker 1: Interesting, So they're not big, but they got a lot
Speaker 1: of them, Sam, they got a lot fascinating. I'd love
Speaker 1: to go someday. All Right, this one you said you
Speaker 1: hope there was no trivia. I'm gonna give you one
Speaker 1: that has a little trivia, but I'm gonna back it
Speaker 1: up with a non trivia. My favorite flock of seagulls
Speaker 1: song is probably blank blank so far away or Wow. Okay,
Speaker 1: Since I'm guessing you're not an expert on eighties bands.
Speaker 1: Here's one that's not trivia. When I was on time
Speaker 1: to class, I walked when I was late blank blank.
Speaker 2: Oh oh okay, I do remember this song. Wasn't that great? Yes?
Speaker 2: When I was late for class.
Speaker 1: I ran exactly, I ran.
Speaker 3: I ran as another beautiful country. I really recommend people visit,
Speaker 3: and you can read all about it in the book.
Speaker 2: They're all they're all covered.
Speaker 1: It does seem that the punniest names are from the
Speaker 1: Middle East, at least in this game. So all right,
Speaker 1: last one. If you are a dove and you want
Speaker 1: to be heard, don't make a sound when it's noisy.
Speaker 1: Instead before you blank blank until it's quiet.
Speaker 2: Oh, it's I've been there too. It's if you if
Speaker 2: you want to whatever, and I'm a dove, I will coop.
Speaker 2: Wait exactly, isn't that it? It's kuwait? I forget that.
Speaker 1: I was waiting for it.
Speaker 2: Got it? They?
Speaker 1: Yeah, put it together? You got it?
Speaker 2: What do you want me to coop?
Speaker 4: Wow?
Speaker 1: That was a good coup. You do a good dough
Speaker 1: and you do it. That's interesting.
Speaker 2: Well, kudos to me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, see, that's why you look at the legend. Well
Speaker 1: as expected, you did great And where can people find
Speaker 1: more of your thoughts on travel.
Speaker 3: As you can see, I'm shamelessly hyping my butt. Uh
Speaker 3: what am I doing here? You can get that on
Speaker 3: Amazon and that's pretty much it. And if you're too
Speaker 3: cheap for that, you can listen to the podcast what
Speaker 3: Am I Doing here? Which is available everywhere. I'm basically
Speaker 3: I have one title excellent.
Speaker 1: Well, before we before we wrap up, as always, for
Speaker 1: you puzzlers at home, here is your extra credit puzzle.
Speaker 1: If you're going to make beer, you'll need some hops,
Speaker 1: some blank, a lot of water, and a fermenttor. All right,
Speaker 1: that is a country? Are you shaking your nodding your
Speaker 1: head like you get.
Speaker 2: It or I do not get it. I'm glad you
Speaker 2: didn't ask that.
Speaker 1: Well, that's good. These are supposed to be a little harder.
Speaker 1: It's just a bit of a stretch. If you're gonna
Speaker 1: make beer, you'll need some hops, some blank blank, a
Speaker 1: lot of water, and a fermentor. Puzzlers, Thank you for listening,
Speaker 1: and don't forget to subscribe. Please tell your friends, please
Speaker 1: rate us, and come back tomorrow where we will meet
Speaker 1: for more puzzling puzzles that will puzzle you puzzlingly.
Speaker 4: Hello, Puzzlers. Greg Pliska here up from the Puzzle Lab
Speaker 4: with the answer to the extra credit from last episode.
Speaker 4: We've played a game with Mike Grease all about Homer
Speaker 4: Simpson's famous don't phrase. Every answer has that sound in it,
Speaker 4: but we asked Mike to answer as if he was
Speaker 4: making the Homer do sound. The clue we gave you
Speaker 4: for extra credit was, Homer has a similar body type
Speaker 4: to this actor who made offers you can't refuse and
Speaker 4: who could have been a contender. That, of course, is
Speaker 4: the great Marlon Brando. Marlon Brando with a little reference
Speaker 4: to his roles in The Godfather and on the Waterfront.
Speaker 4: I hope you all got that one. Thanks for playing along.
Speaker 4: We'll catch you next time.