Speaker 1: Why is Texas the worst US state? They have a
Speaker 1: one star reading.
Speaker 2: In Texas. It's illegal to serve pie without ice cream
Speaker 2: as a matter of Texan pride, remember the Ala.
Speaker 1: Mode to all yawl in Texas without tap water? Get
Speaker 1: well soon.
Speaker 2: What did the divorced Texas woman say to her ex husband?
Speaker 2: Remember the alimony?
Speaker 1: The Texas sunshine blinded Noah, so he ducked into the Arkansas.
Speaker 2: Why is Texas a better state? Because everything is better
Speaker 2: with blue bonnet on it.
Speaker 1: Don't be a vegetarian in Texas? Huge mistake.
Speaker 2: What if Texas and Florida got married? It wouldn't last.
Speaker 2: There's too large of a gulf between them.
Speaker 1: Some people say the state north of Texas is rough,
Speaker 1: but I think it's okay.
Speaker 2: How are a Texas Tornado and a Tennessee divorce alike?
Speaker 2: Somebody's going to lose a trailer.
Speaker 1: Why did the Texas rancher take his prized longhorned bull
Speaker 1: to the cattle judging competition in Switzerland? He wanted to
Speaker 1: win the Nobel Prize. Get ready for more laughs and
Speaker 1: groans following this short break.
Speaker 2: I never really liked Texas, even its flag had only
Speaker 2: one star.
Speaker 1: What's the most popular TV show in Texas Sesame Street,
Speaker 1: because they all remember the Elmo.
Speaker 2: Texas Instruments is removing all of the square root buttons
Speaker 2: from its calculators. I don't know why such a radical
Speaker 2: change is necessary.
Speaker 1: What would you call South Texas in a heat wave?
Speaker 1: Corpus Crispy.
Speaker 2: I'd make a Texas hold him joke, but I think
Speaker 2: it would be a flop.
Speaker 1: The broker said only Texans could work for them, so
Speaker 1: I gave them a lone star review.
Speaker 2: Why do Texans never get anything done? They keep fracking around.
Speaker 1: A Tixon and a Mexican walk into a bar and
Speaker 1: order a beer. Bartender to the Tixon, that will be
Speaker 1: five dollars. Bartender to the Mexican, that will be three dollars.
Speaker 1: The Tixon, upset asks why the same beer cost less
Speaker 1: for the Mexican. The bartender replies, senior discount.
Speaker 2: A peep hole was recently discovered in the Dallas Cowboys
Speaker 2: cheerleader's locker room. The police are looking into it. What
Speaker 2: might Chuck Norris need when he gets much older? A
Speaker 2: Walker Texas ranger. I'm Bob Jeffy and I'm Montgomery Jones,
Speaker 2: and that's the lone Star Dad Jokes for Texas Day.
Speaker 2: We're on a mission to spread the laughs and groans
Speaker 2: far and wide, so please do us a favor and
Speaker 2: share just one of these jokes with your family and
Speaker 2: friends today. Thanks. Before you go, can I ask a
Speaker 2: favor of you, Please submit your best dad joke in
Speaker 2: your Apple podcast or Spotify app. You do this by
Speaker 2: adding a rating and review with your dad joke on
Speaker 2: your podcast app. We'd love for you to spread the
Speaker 2: laughs and groans with us. Thanks. The Daily Dad Jokes
Speaker 2: podcast is produced by Classic Studios. See the show notes
Speaker 2: page for social media links and joke credits. This show
Speaker 2: was recorded in front of a can studio audience.