Speaker 1: What up, everyone, It's Eric Andre. Welcome back to Bombing,
Speaker 1: where I talk with friends, comedians, musicians, and other creative
Speaker 1: people about their worst moments on stage and just stinking
Speaker 1: it up in front of a live audience. I hope
Speaker 1: you're having a good week. I hung out with the
Speaker 1: hilarious Jay Jorden and we talked about doing stand up
Speaker 1: in New York City and the most unconventional spaces to perform.
Speaker 1: He has a very silly story about doing stand up
Speaker 1: at a lecture hall with a podium being a stage,
Speaker 1: and more stuff unravels from his tales on the road.
Speaker 1: As always, please subscribe to the podcast to get new
Speaker 1: episodes every week, rated five stars and on Apple Podcasts.
Speaker 1: Subscribed to Big Money Players Diamond to get exclusive clips
Speaker 1: plus add free episodes weekly. Let's get into it.
Speaker 2: Oh bollyoh with Eric Andre.
Speaker 1: Okay, ladies and gentlemen. You know him as a comedian,
Speaker 1: a writer, an actor, an activist, an artist, a sex symbol.
Speaker 2: All right.
Speaker 1: He's from the economically depressed state of Mississippi, Jared and
Speaker 1: everybody generally depressed as well. You don't just have this,
Speaker 1: you said, I've never been to Mississippi, so I'm talking shit.
Speaker 1: It might be it might be a it might be Valhalla.
Speaker 3: I think Mississippi is I just know Mississippi burning. It's
Speaker 3: emblematic of everything about America. William Faukner has a quote
Speaker 3: where says, to know a place like Mississippi is to
Speaker 3: know America, or something to that end.
Speaker 1: Does he know William Faulkner, He was fucking prick. He
Speaker 1: knew he was very dead. But from Mississippi. Okay, shout out.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 3: I think that, like every every issue that we have
Speaker 3: in America is magnified and also kind of like on
Speaker 3: a grander scale in Mississippi in what sense, in the
Speaker 3: sense that like, are you worried about gun violence? Mississippi
Speaker 3: is a place where you can actually look at the
Speaker 3: effects of gun violence. Are you worried about minority rule
Speaker 3: by white people having power for centuries over black and
Speaker 3: brown people. Mississippi is a great example of that. Are
Speaker 3: you worried about our economic income disparity, where like the
Speaker 3: top percent have so much more than the rest of
Speaker 3: the country. Mississippi is an example of that. Are you
Speaker 3: worried about abortion rights being taken away? Mississippi's example of that.
Speaker 3: Are you worried about.
Speaker 1: Well, it seems like a real fun place. Have you
Speaker 1: they're a health nut, yes.
Speaker 3: I mean my favorite. My favorite healthy snack in Mississippi
Speaker 3: is compi with corn syr.
Speaker 1: That is like diabetes and a bite, a couple of bites.
Speaker 1: I got a sweet to you got a sweet tooth.
Speaker 1: Now you're in great shape, especially for Mississippi. Like God,
Speaker 1: damn Chisel, I think you have peptides. I saw Kumel
Speaker 1: in person, and he's jealous. He's thick, he's thinking enough
Speaker 1: for the Chippendale show. But he thinking, he's thinking up
Speaker 1: for the Chippendale Show. And if you watch it, he's
Speaker 1: not a stripper. He's a boss.
Speaker 2: I know. That's it.
Speaker 1: That's a that's a wild thing. Should I start doing peptides?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: I think as I drink and then I get pudgy.
Speaker 3: What do you what you like drinking? Drinking is your vice?
Speaker 3: Yeah so the so the calories from the drinks is
Speaker 3: what you think.
Speaker 1: And I like cocktails like sweet cock good you good.
Speaker 1: It's too conestly.
Speaker 3: I think that makes you a feminist icon because you're
Speaker 3: not beholden to these male sensibilities that people spouse.
Speaker 1: You can drink grain, drink, you drink a pink drink.
Speaker 1: I'm drinking pink. Don't drink a cosmo right now?
Speaker 2: Hell yeah?
Speaker 1: You no hesitation? Are the cosmos here? Do you drink?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I drink.
Speaker 1: I don't drink a lot. You're right now? No, how
Speaker 1: old are you? Is that rough a birthday? You're like
Speaker 1: thirty twenty nine? It's very sweet. You're young. I love
Speaker 1: this conversation. You're like, I'm sixty fist.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what I can tell about Mississippi. I was
Speaker 3: there when they spread the water holes.
Speaker 1: Is on us? I'm marched. Listen, look ahead, young blood.
Speaker 1: I was it with doctor. Could you could tell me anything?
Speaker 1: You can tell me you're twenty one or fifty five.
Speaker 3: I'm the same age as a euphoria teen, That's what
Speaker 3: I'll say.
Speaker 1: So you're young. No, I'm the.
Speaker 3: Same age as like, I'm the same age as the
Speaker 3: people they cast as teenagers.
Speaker 1: So I'm in my thirties. Okay, that's great. But is Zendaya?
Speaker 3: I think she's late twenties. Do you look to her
Speaker 3: for Yeah? Because I want to. I want to fuck
Speaker 3: Tom Hollands. Yeah, that's is that your celebrity crush. No's
Speaker 3: like white guys on your race. No, my celebrity crush.
Speaker 3: If there's a person who literally could like make me
Speaker 3: go to my husband, Sorry, I have to leave. Zendia
Speaker 3: is on the list well because she is so much
Speaker 3: bigger than sexuality, and.
Speaker 1: She is beauty.
Speaker 2: I get that.
Speaker 3: Do you understand you put a garment on her? There's
Speaker 3: that famous photo of her Michael B. Jordan wearing the
Speaker 3: same suit, and she looks so much better than him.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he had tube buff No, I don't say that
Speaker 1: might be on the list? Is he number two? He
Speaker 1: stared into the center of my penis one time. Tell
Speaker 1: the story behind this, Okay, So I was making bad
Speaker 1: trip in Atlanta, Georgia, and so Michael B. Jordan has
Speaker 1: seen into your urethra. Yeah, and it was an accident.
Speaker 1: The window to the soul, that's right. Lest people think
Speaker 1: it's the eyes, No, no, no, it's.
Speaker 3: Not.
Speaker 1: Starts. I went to the Four Seasons to you know,
Speaker 1: making that movie is very stressful, So I went to
Speaker 1: the Four Seasons on a weekend. I did not expect
Speaker 1: this story to start at the four season. Yeah, that
Speaker 1: started the Four Seasons. So I was at the Spa
Speaker 1: in the men's section of the spa, clothing optional. Sauna,
Speaker 1: steam room. I'm in the sauna. I'm there forever. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm bopping between the steam room the sauna whatever, and
Speaker 1: no one's there everything, nobody's there, and I'm like, you
Speaker 1: know what, no one's been here for like an hour.
Speaker 2: So comfortable.
Speaker 1: And then i just take off my bathroom. I'm spread
Speaker 1: eagle in the sauna. Yes, lo and behold the sauna
Speaker 1: the way the doors face a glass door, and I'm
Speaker 1: like sitting right there. It's a small sauna, spread eagle.
Speaker 1: No one's there forever. All of a sudden, movie star
Speaker 1: Apollo Creed whatever he plays, Michael B. Jordan comes around
Speaker 1: the corner and like walks and then he looks and
Speaker 1: makes eye contact with me. He looks down at my dick.
Speaker 1: He looks back into my eyes and then he just
Speaker 1: reversed moon walks out of the spot. Didn't get undrug,
Speaker 1: didn't He just was like, nope, oh my god, he left.
Speaker 1: Could I say something that is such a bro response
Speaker 1: is just like oh oh oh, oh, okay, bad your
Speaker 1: I didn't known't even it wasn't even my bad. It
Speaker 1: was like, look, it was like eye contact, dick, eye contact,
Speaker 1: eye contact?
Speaker 3: Can I tell you what my response would have been.
Speaker 3: I would have looked at your dick without seeing your
Speaker 3: face and went.
Speaker 1: But so, Zendayah, would you put them in that order?
Speaker 1: Zendaya first, Zendayah. Michael B.
Speaker 3: Jordan is somewhere in the top five. I also, who's
Speaker 3: like I'm trying to think of like a.
Speaker 1: Young like white guys. I think like Steve Lazy young cut.
Speaker 3: No. Steve Lazy has that quote where he said he
Speaker 3: sees black man and his brother so he can't hook
Speaker 3: up with him. No, no, I will listen, put it
Speaker 3: in my face. That's the craziest thing you can say.
Speaker 3: You can be like, I'm currently dating and or fucking
Speaker 3: a white guy, but you can't be like in this
Speaker 3: other race, I only see you as ken could never what.
Speaker 1: I think he's figuring it out. He also, I think
Speaker 1: he also.
Speaker 3: I think Steve Lazy that was also around the time
Speaker 3: probably where he was like in the internet, like the group,
Speaker 3: and like he probably was just saying wow. Yeah, he
Speaker 3: was probably saying wow ship and never thought it would
Speaker 3: blow up up. So then when you have a year
Speaker 3: like he did last year, everything comes back out. I think, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: I'm trying to think of who else is the celebrity
Speaker 3: that wouldn't get me in trouble if I was.
Speaker 1: Like, oh, they're so fucking hot. Oh okay, nobody can
Speaker 1: say whatever you want. Okay, So this is do you
Speaker 1: know who Manny? No? Man thinking?
Speaker 3: You know who managed Decento is? He's so hot he managed?
Speaker 3: Manny is just like, no, it's not r looking up
Speaker 3: Ronda Santas in those boots, in those he was just
Speaker 3: wear those boots, my girl, Ronda is Manny Manny j
Speaker 3: A C I N t oh I. He was an actor,
Speaker 3: he was on the place. He's he with a Latin name.
Speaker 3: And how Philippines work, that's what assumes very handsome, right.
Speaker 3: He looks cut, he looks drawn. Yeah, yeah, ok we
Speaker 3: look at that jawline. I wanted to slice my jorder.
Speaker 3: That is, he's so hot, he's barbied.
Speaker 1: Now, do you have an understanding with your husband? Do
Speaker 1: you get a do you get as if something like
Speaker 1: that can't? Can I say something? Hell, motherfucking is that
Speaker 1: a fifty to fifty even split? I don't believe what.
Speaker 3: I will let you know right now. And because you
Speaker 3: said no one's listening to this podcast, I will tell you.
Speaker 3: There are people who aren't even super famous that I
Speaker 3: feel like I can get a pass with.
Speaker 1: Really, yes, I mean and does it work the same
Speaker 1: way though? Will you give him the same and there's
Speaker 1: no jealousy or no jealousy all? In fact, what do
Speaker 1: you guys communicate?
Speaker 3: In fact as a queer couple, we don't even say
Speaker 3: we're open. We just say we're mature, we're adults. Now,
Speaker 3: we're realistic.
Speaker 1: It's an easier that's an easier pitch, okay to dudes
Speaker 1: and a girl more often, what did you say? That
Speaker 1: used to be.
Speaker 3: That used to be the case, and now straight women
Speaker 3: are starting to chill at because of TikTok?
Speaker 1: You think so?
Speaker 3: No, I think one day people will be able to
Speaker 3: be a bit more honest with their desires and their
Speaker 3: need for You know, listen, love is a great song,
Speaker 3: but every great song needs a remix?
Speaker 1: Do you understand?
Speaker 2: With a recondre with Aridre?
Speaker 1: Now you're a big QAnon guy, right, I'm a huge
Speaker 1: QAnon guy.
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Huge? I love it. I can't get nothing because from Mississippi.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, and I'm here to tell you about because
Speaker 3: I will say this in regards to QAnon as a
Speaker 3: queer stand up who like is having like a little
Speaker 3: bit of fun success. I'm upset that I haven't been
Speaker 3: invited to the obligatory bisexual orgies in Hollywood yet.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: The funniest part about everyone being like, you know, when
Speaker 3: you get to the Hollywood, they're gonna make you do
Speaker 3: gay stuff. My response was always like make they're.
Speaker 1: Gonna make me. Might be now, when you first moved
Speaker 1: to New York as a Mississippian, where you're like intimidated,
Speaker 1: I was.
Speaker 3: So I didn't know there was this, I'll say, the
Speaker 3: most Mississippi thing ever. I didn't know there were so
Speaker 3: many different types of Mexican people, but it was you.
Speaker 1: Know what happened, Like, oh lord, so what happened?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've some family from Louisiana. But what happened is
Speaker 3: that I went to school in Mississippi, and then I
Speaker 3: went to.
Speaker 1: Which I don't know if you can believe it, they
Speaker 1: got them.
Speaker 3: We went to school in Mississippi and then went to school
Speaker 3: in someplace very different, Alabama. And then because I had
Speaker 3: like a BFA and an MFA and acting, I moved
Speaker 3: here and signed with the horrible agency and.
Speaker 1: They did not care about me. At all.
Speaker 3: They sent me to the worst auditions and then I
Speaker 3: started doing stand up because I wanted to, Like I
Speaker 3: done stand up a little bit in Mississippi, but did
Speaker 3: you stand up in Mississippi and Alabama? Back in the day,
Speaker 3: it was like maybe you get to do a show
Speaker 3: a month, right, and they'll be like, oh, when's your
Speaker 3: next show. You'll be like in a couple of months,
Speaker 3: I think I'm going to get to host this benefit, right,
Speaker 3: like it's never.
Speaker 1: But then you got here and you were pounding the pavement.
Speaker 3: Well you get here and I signed out like we
Speaker 3: had this. There was a really cool website back in
Speaker 3: the day, free mics dot Com, where you could just
Speaker 3: find where all the open mics were in the city,
Speaker 3: some of them free.
Speaker 1: Someone were like drinking, you know with the site. When
Speaker 1: I first moved here twenty years agow what it was called?
Speaker 1: Chuckle Monkey?
Speaker 3: No no, no, no, can I say new favorite slur?
Speaker 1: New favorite slur? My god, I was like, chuckle monk,
Speaker 1: chuckle monk, oh right right that end?
Speaker 3: Mm, I don't even want to see the image. I
Speaker 3: don't even want to see the image. Why is this
Speaker 3: monkey dressed like Richard pryor.
Speaker 1: A chuckle headsho no, Benveren, that's chicken George. All right, bombing,
Speaker 1: let's talk about the premise of this fucking podcast. What's
Speaker 1: the worst you ever bombed? You could do this in
Speaker 1: any order? Okay, where't you ever bomb? Wor'st bomb you
Speaker 1: ever witnessed? Most wasted you've been on stage? Okay, worst
Speaker 1: I've ever bombed? There's two.
Speaker 3: So like you don't want to count some of the
Speaker 3: early ones, but there was this one Ken Okay, So
Speaker 3: like you have like a couple of good mics, a
Speaker 3: couple of good like hot bar shows you. I went
Speaker 3: up on one show early. I want to say, this
Speaker 3: had to be like twenty sixteen Mississippi. No, no, no.
Speaker 3: This was in New York, so the New York bombs
Speaker 3: hit different.
Speaker 2: Oh they're tough.
Speaker 1: It was in the East Village, I believe it was
Speaker 1: twenty seventeen. I went up.
Speaker 3: A woman who was in town from LA was kind
Speaker 3: of at this like produced Mike, and she like was
Speaker 3: talking to me and she was like, oh, I can't
Speaker 3: wait to watch your set because we had like a
Speaker 3: good conversation, which she stayed. I went up on stage.
Speaker 3: Who first joke nothing?
Speaker 1: Second joke? Was nothing. The venue. I think it's closed
Speaker 1: since it was a comedy club or a bar. It
Speaker 1: was a bar, okay, okay.
Speaker 3: So it was like already gonna not be the best show,
Speaker 3: but like crickets from a bar, and like people were there,
Speaker 3: and people were there like watching, so it was a
Speaker 3: bigger crowd than they usually had, and so she was
Speaker 3: there from my la.
Speaker 1: We just had a good conversation in a bar. I
Speaker 1: was turning.
Speaker 3: I was like, oh yeah, I'm actually like really enjoyed
Speaker 3: doing comedy in New York right now.
Speaker 1: This is so cool. Oh my god, I made it
Speaker 1: so much worse.
Speaker 3: I talked about like not having anything in my bank
Speaker 3: account in a way that was just so unfunny, and
Speaker 3: I was like, okay, but then I couldn't be like,
Speaker 3: but look at these rich motherfuckers because I know they weren't,
Speaker 3: so it wh like it wasn't I wasn't being relatable.
Speaker 3: I just was not being funny. I just like through that.
Speaker 3: And then I like tried to sing and that also
Speaker 3: like didn't work. No, it was embarrassing. Yes, I tried
Speaker 3: to like make a joke about that bomb, about the
Speaker 3: bombs that were currently happening on the show.
Speaker 1: People before you on the show doing okay, yes, oh
Speaker 1: that's rough. Yeah, everyone was bombing. You could write it off,
Speaker 1: but every well it was and then you're distinking.
Speaker 3: It was one of those It was one of those
Speaker 3: places where like I wouldn't go down that street to
Speaker 3: that bar for like a good month because I was like, man,
Speaker 3: I don't even I don't got to put myself through that.
Speaker 1: I don't got to reopen that wound. How did you
Speaker 1: end the set? Well, probably with like.
Speaker 3: Well just because like you don't have anything, you like
Speaker 3: have like a couple of heaters, and like when those
Speaker 3: work's see, okay, that's the crazy part. So that's like
Speaker 3: twenty seventeen. So like twenty nineteen, I'm on like this
Speaker 3: tiny little college tour that I got from doing Naka,
Speaker 3: which is like yo, didn'mal a bunch of college and
Speaker 3: some of the shows are like great. Some of the
Speaker 3: shows though at these colleges they say, oh, you're going
Speaker 3: to do a show? Are you ready for this? At
Speaker 3: this time? So I want everyone it's the afternoon. I
Speaker 3: had a show at one pm at a college. I
Speaker 3: want to say it was in Missouri. It was somewhere
Speaker 3: in the midwest. Because I was driving to three different
Speaker 3: shows the over like a five day period. I go
Speaker 3: to do a show in one of their smaller lecture halls,
Speaker 3: so I'm not even on a stage.
Speaker 1: I'm like in a lecture.
Speaker 3: Hall with a slightly elevated surface with a lectern and
Speaker 3: a podium like a classroom.
Speaker 1: Yes, it was a classroom. The amount of people in there,
Speaker 1: twelve twelve people in the daytime to see me do
Speaker 1: an hour of comedy at a podium. At a podium,
Speaker 1: are you overhead projector?
Speaker 2: Eric?
Speaker 1: I could hear the spit in people's mouths? Yeah? Do
Speaker 1: you know this sound? Yeah? What are those twelve people doing?
Speaker 2: Though?
Speaker 1: I questioned them a little bit, but what do they want?
Speaker 3: Because the school was probably like there's a comedian and
Speaker 3: they're like tonight, They're like no, no, no.
Speaker 1: Don't worry this afternoon. What.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's gonna be some subway sandwiches afterwards. Do you
Speaker 3: have a sable whole thing? You gotta save a whole thing,
Speaker 3: get the sandwich, Okay, So you just gotta wait them out.
Speaker 1: So you gotta wait them out. The first joke doesn't
Speaker 1: go well, and then you're like, great, I have fifty
Speaker 1: seven minutes. The thing you say is like, what's up?
Speaker 1: I could do you want to do?
Speaker 3: I just need to say roll for this class, they
Speaker 3: just need to like talk to y'all what's happening? And
Speaker 3: like the chuckles there are also so light because there's
Speaker 3: no way for a group of twelve people in the
Speaker 3: afternoon to jell enough to last as like a unit.
Speaker 1: There's no hive mind, there's no synchronous no, there's no cohesion.
Speaker 1: It's so just like moment in them stopping and so
Speaker 1: like those are the worst shows that are college shows.
Speaker 1: College shows are the worst shows.
Speaker 3: I love the college shows that I've done recently, and
Speaker 3: I love doing college shows when they're big enough crowds
Speaker 3: and when like everything goes right. But for that particular
Speaker 3: college show.
Speaker 1: Oh well they're produced by college children, so they're not
Speaker 1: gonna be But once again, it's are rough.
Speaker 3: Let me tell every college student listening, bring Jay to
Speaker 3: your campus at night, at.
Speaker 1: Night, in a venue where there's where there's a stage.
Speaker 1: Because I used to perform in the cafeterias, the cafetoriums, Yeah,
Speaker 1: while people were ordering chicken nuggs.
Speaker 3: The caffatorirea, gymnasiums, oh, there was like because like sometimes
Speaker 3: there's like that fun happy accident. Like one time, me
Speaker 3: and ze Nab Johnson, who's like this black Muslim woman
Speaker 3: from Harlem and my queer Mississippi ass performed in Utah
Speaker 3: and we.
Speaker 1: Were like, oh it was great, it was wonderful. But
Speaker 1: this ship in Missouri in the fucking afternoon for twelve
Speaker 1: people and they wanted me to stay afterwards and eat
Speaker 1: sandwiches with them. Yeah, I'm embarrassed. It's that cool. Are
Speaker 1: you kidding me? That's that cool. Yeah, we've all been there.
Speaker 1: Those shows make you, They made you the man you
Speaker 1: are today, because like for an hour, that's the other thing.
Speaker 3: Like when you bomb in the city, maybe you bomb
Speaker 3: for ten minutes, you bomb for twelve minutes, you get
Speaker 3: out of there, uskadado, Right. You know, there's a lot
Speaker 3: you can do right for for an hour.
Speaker 1: An hour is it's the longest hour of your life.
Speaker 1: But at that point halfway through, you just got to
Speaker 1: do crowd work, right or something, or just you talk
Speaker 1: to them.
Speaker 3: You just start commenting on everything. Yeah, you just start
Speaker 3: laughing in real time about your plight.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I kind of like, look at if there's a clock
Speaker 1: and I look at the like student activity board member
Speaker 1: that has my paycheck in those Yeah, I'm like kind
Speaker 1: of like checking in with them constantly. It's fifty five minutes, No,
Speaker 1: it's forty five. What gets me that check in your pocket?
Speaker 1: It gets me out there to my three connecting air
Speaker 1: tran flow.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, No, it was even crazy for me
Speaker 3: because it was in a hotel, rented a car and
Speaker 3: drove to all these different places to go back to
Speaker 3: that hotel to then finally fly out.
Speaker 1: So it was like a wasteland. It's so spacious, it's vast.
Speaker 1: It's so vast that you were like, what did the
Speaker 1: pioneers The pioneers needed to kill all the Native Americans
Speaker 1: for what for? Like it was room for there was room.
Speaker 1: We met a room. We don't need all of Montana,
Speaker 1: you don't need we need two Dakotas. It's a wasteland.
Speaker 3: I mean, like those are two bombs that like I
Speaker 3: will never forget. They're like carved into my person traumatized,
Speaker 3: not just traumatized, but learned so quickly what a.
Speaker 1: Real bomb is because oh, you know that show, I
Speaker 1: didn't feel like I did my best.
Speaker 3: You were because you'll be thinking like a six out
Speaker 3: of ten as a bomb, nah, like a true bomb bomb,
Speaker 3: like silence, Oh yes, silence, wake you up.
Speaker 1: Squeaky chairs, Yeah, people staring at you. The back of
Speaker 1: your neck is hot, ears are hot. You' you like
Speaker 1: people talk about shaking on camera and you go.
Speaker 3: Whoa are you that nervous? You go, oh, yeah, this
Speaker 3: is this is when people shake. Oh yeah, this is
Speaker 3: when you go just start to be like what It's my.
Speaker 1: Biggest fear of bombing on TV. Oh. I mean the
Speaker 1: first time I did stand up on television, it was
Speaker 1: live at Gotham, and I was so unbelievably nervous that
Speaker 1: I was like blackout for the first half of my set.
Speaker 1: Don't remember it completely, like under anesthesia, like propo fall,
Speaker 1: like yea took prop fall before I was on stage,
Speaker 1: don't remember completely. And I made the mistake of inviting
Speaker 1: like all my like high school friends I grew up with. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're like in the front row too, which is like
Speaker 1: just such this unbelievable added pressure that I would never
Speaker 1: ever do again.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's an insane stand up comedy. It's not that
Speaker 1: old either. It's like only ninety years old, right, How
Speaker 1: old is stand up comedy.
Speaker 3: I mean, if Budville like one hundred years old, true
Speaker 3: true stand up comedy. If we're talking about like the
Speaker 3: way that we all kind of look at it now,
Speaker 3: like we'd have to say the sixties, so you're right,
Speaker 3: I'm not that old, and then the fifty sixty years old, yeah,
Speaker 3: because then like the seventies is like the ramp up
Speaker 3: in the eighties is the explosion, and nineties like so
Speaker 3: like it is weird to be like, oh, this thing
Speaker 3: that we kind of see as like being here forever.
Speaker 3: It definitely came out of a vaudevillian tradition, came out
Speaker 3: of like it came out technically, it came out of
Speaker 3: like mister show, I didn't do it, but okay, monkey.
Speaker 1: For more answers, smash that subscribe button.
Speaker 3: But like the wildest part is that stand up is
Speaker 3: fairly young and it's still ever evolving and morphinge, and
Speaker 3: like I'm this weird combination of like I have fairly
Speaker 3: traditional set up punchline ship, but also people are like,
Speaker 3: but you're you're queer, and I'm like yeah, and people
Speaker 3: still will be like if you're a black person who
Speaker 3: does stand up comedy in a certain way in certain rooms,
Speaker 3: they'll be like this is groundbreak, and you'll be like.
Speaker 1: No, no, this is just stand up. Stop stop thinking it's groundbreak. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you have to remove yourself from this logic. Yeah,
Speaker 3: the groundbreaking. No no, no, I'm not the first person to
Speaker 3: talk in front of people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, how are you? How have you done like coming
Speaker 1: up at like black shows like black Here's here's a
Speaker 1: crazy part. Black rooms love confidence a lot of people.
Speaker 1: I mean, if we talk when I was coming up
Speaker 1: so much, if we talk about the famous for capone,
Speaker 1: it was not a pleasure apperance. I'm gonna see you
Speaker 1: on like a Who's a.
Speaker 2: Dude?
Speaker 1: Who's the dude? Uh?
Speaker 3: To teach the motherfucking k you you know T K.
Speaker 3: Kirkland show.
Speaker 1: That's too black for me? Only half that flew over
Speaker 1: my head. Give me Anthony Brown reference or something brown.
Speaker 3: Here's okay. So here's the thing. I think that like
Speaker 3: black rooms, they make you work, and so like there.
Speaker 1: Was like a hood room. Yeah, like like like a
Speaker 1: mother like a hood room where it's like they say,
Speaker 1: is motherucking chocolate night like that kind of ship.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're like listen, okay, I've done okay because from
Speaker 3: Mississippi and also like.
Speaker 1: Because I'm a book floor.
Speaker 3: Well, if you're like, here's if you're queer black people,
Speaker 3: if you can play with it and play around it
Speaker 3: and about it and have jokes about it, black people
Speaker 3: be like, oh, at least this motherfucker knows. It's when
Speaker 3: people like start to get cagey. It's when people like
Speaker 3: really don't know themselves. Like one of my favorite jokes
Speaker 3: that work so well Black rooms as that go, I'm
Speaker 3: a black queer man also known as a gospel choir direcord.
Speaker 1: Like they you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's always going to be because like people forget,
Speaker 3: Like I went to a ninety black high school. Like
Speaker 3: my ship growing up was like I was like watching
Speaker 3: Laguna Beach in secret, but like all my so many
Speaker 3: of my homeboys were like, just you won't watch Paid
Speaker 3: in full. I was like, I love Cameron, Cameron jobs,
Speaker 3: dip Set, dip set all day, baby.
Speaker 1: Have you I mean you're in Dipsett's neighborhood. Have you
Speaker 1: run into them? No? Person I see the most.
Speaker 3: The person I see the most is Dave East, who's
Speaker 3: a rapper from East Harlem.
Speaker 1: I'm in Harlem. Who else is up there ice spice.
Speaker 3: She's northern me. That's like one third. That's grand concourse,
Speaker 3: she's up there. Do you like ice spice?
Speaker 2: I love ice spic.
Speaker 1: Are you excited for a light skinned renaissance?
Speaker 2: Are you excited?
Speaker 1: I would wait for yes, sindbads and bad health. So
Speaker 1: we need something. We need ice spice to And it
Speaker 1: is wild that like she truly got dead eyes though
Speaker 1: I would I feel like she's in North Korean hostage
Speaker 1: a little bit. No, I got those Selena Gomez dead inside.
Speaker 3: I think it's so crazy. She truly brought munch people
Speaker 3: like people who know about the word. So many people
Speaker 3: shouldn't even know where the fucking munch is. Tell me
Speaker 3: what a monch is?
Speaker 1: A month? This is what I would say. A month is.
Speaker 3: A monch is a man who, with the press of
Speaker 3: a button will come and do anything for you as
Speaker 3: a girl who's like got it on lock. If he's
Speaker 3: just a month, he's like just a guy who like
Speaker 3: you can be like I need you come eat this pussy.
Speaker 1: He'll show up like that. You'd be like I need
Speaker 1: a new bag like that.
Speaker 3: Paint me monch, eric Andre, Are you ready for this
Speaker 3: Deadline article? Eric Andre comes out as a munch. Jordan Poole,
Speaker 3: the NBA player, apparently allegedly spend like I want to say,
Speaker 3: like five hundred thousand dollars on like days with Ice.
Speaker 3: Spice and Cam and Mace were like man, she from
Speaker 3: the Bronx.
Speaker 1: She would have made with a slice of pizza. Come on, yeah,
Speaker 1: you don't have to do that. That's insane. That's fucking outrageous.
Speaker 3: NBA players, That's what happens. I've never dated the NBA player,
Speaker 3: but you could. None of them are out, doesn't mean
Speaker 3: you can't take them. Jason Collins is the only is
Speaker 3: the only one that was ever a little gay was
Speaker 3: gay and he I hate to say this about Jason Collins. Listen,
Speaker 3: I love what you did for diversity and visibility, but he.
Speaker 1: Wasn't even that good. So it is hard. That's mean
Speaker 1: I shouldn't say it out.
Speaker 2: With Aricdre.
Speaker 1: With Aricdre, what's the worst bomb you ever witnessed? Is
Speaker 1: there one that you have that you witnessed that was
Speaker 1: a fucking to name the person if they're your friend or.
Speaker 4: You can call them mister and missus. Okay, this is uh,
Speaker 4: this is something on front street. I won't put them
Speaker 4: on front street, Sloan. No, I've never seen bomb.
Speaker 3: The scariest thing I've seen Dulce do is I've seen
Speaker 3: someone like try to be overly familiar with Dulce and
Speaker 3: she didn't know them and she shouldn't shipped down quick.
Speaker 1: Someone like came in I think for a kiss and
Speaker 1: she was like no, no, no, you have to earn
Speaker 1: earn that kiss. I was like, the bomb with her?
Speaker 1: They bombed, Yeah, that thing they got banned with her?
Speaker 1: Who did you see?
Speaker 2: Who did you see? Bomb?
Speaker 3: Have you ever seen someone not read the room? And
Speaker 3: so I've seen and this is something that like I'll
Speaker 3: actually talk about. I've seen a person who really wanted
Speaker 3: to do their club set in a non club space
Speaker 3: in Brooklyn because it.
Speaker 1: Was like a hipster audience and they want to not
Speaker 1: just hipster like they want a little bit looser.
Speaker 3: They wanted things that were a bit more kind of
Speaker 3: like idiosyncratic. Yeah, a little tall tea, but like it's
Speaker 3: truly just they just wanted a bit more authenticity. And
Speaker 3: this person came so polished and so buttoned and just
Speaker 3: really wanted to get that type five out and like
Speaker 3: punchlines that I know probably work in midtown, and that
Speaker 3: work for certain audiences.
Speaker 1: Just I saw a.
Speaker 3: Lot of people with dyed hair just be like boo
Speaker 3: because they just didn't accept that this crowd was gonna
Speaker 3: be a little different.
Speaker 1: They kind of like a right wing kind of guy.
Speaker 1: Or it wasn't the right wing. I don't eve think.
Speaker 3: I think he's definitely like, no, it wasn't political, but
Speaker 3: like it was so the opposite of what they want.
Speaker 3: This crowd wanted in a way that was almost disrespectful.
Speaker 1: They wanted R and B and he was playing country.
Speaker 3: Not only they I don't even think they wanted R
Speaker 3: and B. They wanted the B side of a band
Speaker 3: that you've never heard, right, And he was playing Top forty, right,
Speaker 3: he want just playing Top forty. He was playing Top
Speaker 3: forty from like a year ago, so they will get it.
Speaker 3: Sebastian Maniscalco, it was it was again and and we've
Speaker 3: never heard from him since.
Speaker 1: Yeah, who was it? Just tell us I can't tell
Speaker 1: you hell no, no, no, no, no, no. I just I just
Speaker 1: love the fact that that hot guys.
Speaker 3: I'm trying to think of the what's some hot guys? Oh,
Speaker 3: I've seen not a bomb, but it was like silly.
Speaker 3: One time Jim Gaffigan dropped in to do a show
Speaker 3: and sent up New York and I was hosting, and
Speaker 3: he fell hard.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and like walking up to the stage.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I got a picture of him getting up.
Speaker 3: It's like, because I just want you to know something
Speaker 3: like boom, he's a tall guy too.
Speaker 1: He's a tall man.
Speaker 3: He'll say it. He's a he's a bit a girl man.
Speaker 3: And listen, he was slowing it up to like you know,
Speaker 3: that's what I'm It was not fake.
Speaker 1: There are people who thought it was fake. That ship
Speaker 1: was very real.
Speaker 3: And Jim Gabbigan is so funny, but like you could
Speaker 3: tell because like physical bit term really is things. So
Speaker 3: when he fell, some people were like, there's Jim being
Speaker 3: Jim again. But like people want to know, were like, no, what,
Speaker 3: what what's going on? He got really pissed at me
Speaker 3: one time I was at I was at some bar.
Speaker 1: I want a full list of all the people who
Speaker 1: have gotten really pissed at you. Gosh, how much time
Speaker 1: do you get Are you ready to laugh? Look at
Speaker 1: look at that? Oh oh my god, are you ready
Speaker 1: for that? That's also me telling the crowd not to laugh.
Speaker 1: He's like, yeah, just like fell that.
Speaker 3: He posted it too, he because and then people were like, Jay,
Speaker 3: do you think think it was a fault. I was like,
Speaker 3: if he's that good at physical comedy, he should he
Speaker 3: he'd be in every movie doing that. It was like
Speaker 3: Chris Pratt level. I mean it was like Chris Farley level,
Speaker 3: Like yeah, Pratt fall for God, but so amiliated and
Speaker 3: like he I think he like said one joke. He
Speaker 3: was like, no, I'll just stay down here because like,
Speaker 3: keep in mind, I also have to step.
Speaker 1: Over him to get he got. It's just small stage,
Speaker 1: It's this big. We're on the Umberost side. It was wild.
Speaker 3: These people like erupted. When I said Jim Gafian was
Speaker 3: going to do the show, he comes up.
Speaker 1: He got really angry at me one time and it
Speaker 1: was an accidental like I went to this show and
Speaker 1: uh it was like a small show downtown Lower East Side,
Speaker 1: and I went and there was only one seat in
Speaker 1: the back available. I wanted to sit amongst the comics.
Speaker 1: The comics were lurking in the back and Pete Holmes
Speaker 1: was there, A bunch of comedians were there, and like
Speaker 1: I went to sit in the one available seat and
Speaker 1: everyone was like, oh, that's Gappulkin seat. Oh, don't take
Speaker 1: that seat, that's Cappulkin seat.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 1: And they were all like weirdly kissing his ass, and
Speaker 1: I was like, whatever, we're at a bar. He didn't
Speaker 1: claim the seat, like he's walking around like let me sit.
Speaker 1: I was like huh. And then so when I got
Speaker 1: and then when he walked back, I went to him
Speaker 1: and he thought I was fucking with him. He had
Speaker 1: no context. I was like, is this your seat? Is
Speaker 1: this your seat, sir? Sir, I'm so sorry I took
Speaker 1: your seat. But he's like he didn't know the setup. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: he didn't say he didn't hear them like weirdly brown
Speaker 1: nosing him and like like like bounding to his feet.
Speaker 1: So he just thought I was like being some prick
Speaker 1: for some reason. And he was like he looked at
Speaker 1: me like what the fuck is your.
Speaker 2: Nah ship?
Speaker 1: And he's big, he's got like big needy hands, like
Speaker 1: he like he might not be fast, but if he
Speaker 1: got like one, yeah, yeah gonna have to. So I
Speaker 1: hope he's not so mad at me, but I think
Speaker 1: like five seconds later he forgot that whole thing happened. Good.
Speaker 1: He already gets into it goes into a rage. So
Speaker 1: he told me he goes into rage. Who I kind
Speaker 1: of like that seething anger, seething dark anger.
Speaker 3: I feel like a lot of comics probably either go
Speaker 3: into rage are just like become silly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they either.
Speaker 3: Scream or they just start laughing at everything. Like it's
Speaker 3: the two sides of the coin.
Speaker 1: I think I'm on the last the laugh. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: a good place to be. Yeah, seating rage was before therapy,
Speaker 1: but there's still there's still.
Speaker 3: I'll I'll like scream if like it's the last resort
Speaker 3: because I don't even think it's violent. I just think
Speaker 3: it's a show that like you get it out well.
Speaker 3: Because one time, me and my friend were walking to
Speaker 3: our train and this group of kids was like, hey,
Speaker 3: do you guys have any weed. We're like, we'll have
Speaker 3: any weed. And like when I say kids, I mean
Speaker 3: like teenagers. So I feel bad screaming at them and
Speaker 3: they asked us again.
Speaker 1: I was like, we'll have any weeks and then they
Speaker 1: like touched my friend and I was like, what the
Speaker 1: fuck are y'all doing?
Speaker 3: Yeah, because like we're nice dudes, some crazy person's gonna
Speaker 3: beat the ship.
Speaker 1: Out of y'all. I'm like screaming at these kids to
Speaker 1: teach them a lesson. Yeah, lesson. Do you have to
Speaker 1: keep those teenagers online?
Speaker 2: They're gonna bowl over you if you don't.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you hear that. Spare the rod, spoil the child, Mississippi.
Speaker 3: Beat your Kids? Can that be a sound drop? Can
Speaker 3: we put that on the board show?
Speaker 1: Key, there we go. That's still gonna be the intro
Speaker 1: and outro of every episode. Beat your Kids? Anything else?
Speaker 3: Everyone, don't be afraid to bomb, don't pursue it, don't
Speaker 3: don't don't chase it.
Speaker 1: But them, shit's gonna happen. It happens to the best people.
Speaker 1: They're just really famous.
Speaker 3: The Chris Rock story about him like hearing Martin Lawrence
Speaker 3: like destroy before him in Chicago, and.
Speaker 1: He's like, what's going on?
Speaker 3: It's crazy, And he goes out and he bombs because
Speaker 3: like Martin Lawrence had basically like laughed the crowd into exhaustion.
Speaker 1: He's like, god damn.
Speaker 3: And that's one of the most I mean, that's a
Speaker 3: bomb that led to it an illustrious career.
Speaker 1: That was his first early bomb, that.
Speaker 3: Was like a bomber that's now no I think he
Speaker 3: was established enough to like do a show, but you
Speaker 3: know how like sometimes famous people and it happens now
Speaker 3: because everyone is part of the reason why they're yonder pouches,
Speaker 3: like you know, anyone working on a new hour that's
Speaker 3: of note. You kind of are like you almost have
Speaker 3: to be like, hey, some of this shit ain't hidden yet.
Speaker 3: And then some crowds are like, that motherfucker wasn't as funny?
Speaker 3: Is that thing he worked on for three years?
Speaker 1: How dare you?
Speaker 3: And you're like, well, that's You're part of the process
Speaker 3: of me coming up with something new in the next
Speaker 3: three years.
Speaker 1: So we're working on this together.
Speaker 3: Yeah, But I mean I think that like if I
Speaker 3: learned anything, no college shows in the daytime ever, because
Speaker 3: that shit sticks with me.
Speaker 1: Like someone could.
Speaker 3: Be like, oh, Jay, I love your tonight show set,
Speaker 3: and I'd be like, but what about that college show.
Speaker 1: In the daytime.
Speaker 3: I'm at one time, I can still see the face
Speaker 3: of this very round white face of this guy wearing
Speaker 3: a hoodie and he shook his head at one point
Speaker 3: during my show, and I was like, I'm there with
Speaker 3: your brother.
Speaker 1: I'm black. People shouldn't be on.
Speaker 3: Stage, You're right, I ain't crushing it. God, just this
Speaker 3: round midwestern face. Oh, I'll never forget it.
Speaker 1: Well, Jay, thank you, thank you. This is fun. Yeah,
Speaker 1: come back Anytime.
Speaker 2: With Eric Andre.
Speaker 1: Bombing with Eric Andre is brought to you by Will
Speaker 1: Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcasts. Executive produced
Speaker 1: by Hans Sani and Olivia Aguilar, Edited and sound designed
Speaker 1: by Andy Harris. Our artist by Dylan Vanderberg. And if
Speaker 1: you want to confess to your own bombing moments or
Speaker 1: give us a shout out, go rate us five stars
Speaker 1: and drop a review on your podcast app of choice
Speaker 1: right about your own stories of bombing at life. If
Speaker 1: you're on Apple Podcasts, you can also subscribed to Big
Speaker 1: Winny Players Diamond to get exclusive bonus content with every
Speaker 1: episode and listen to all my episodes ad free. The
Speaker 1: guests on Bombing with Eric Andre were recorded before the
Speaker 1: SAG after strike. Bye, Beat your Kids,