Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's dipping their toe in the
Speaker 1: clothing business, and they've secured sixty eight percent of the
Speaker 1: dad dollars by launching a new comfortable, practical item called cargo.
Speaker 2: Socks, socks with tiny pockets in them to hold your keys.
Speaker 2: You're rolling your snacks because you know.
Speaker 1: Your cargo pants are full holding other important stuff. Actually
Speaker 1: got a mock up of them right here. Cargo socks
Speaker 1: get yours today.
Speaker 2: With laser stories, the segment where we read.
Speaker 1: We hear news stories around the glove, just like everyone
Speaker 1: else does. And those other ankle crankers just don't.
Speaker 3: This says they're calf mules.
Speaker 1: Yeah, cargo life, let's go to your first laser story.
Speaker 2: Out of France.
Speaker 1: A few years back, thirty nine year old Richard PLoud
Speaker 1: realized his most important goal in life, and that was
Speaker 1: to create the world's tallest matchstick sculpture.
Speaker 4: Double.
Speaker 3: We all have dreams, Richard, we all have dreams.
Speaker 1: So for the last eight years, the Frenchman spent day
Speaker 1: and night painstakingly gluing together over seven hundred thousand match sticks,
Speaker 1: oh damn, by hand to create a model of the
Speaker 1: Eiffel Tower.
Speaker 3: Everyone loves a passionate man.
Speaker 2: Sculpture is amazing. Reached twenty four feet into the air.
Speaker 2: It's like super cool and easily beat the existing record
Speaker 2: by two feet.
Speaker 3: It's beautiful.
Speaker 2: I imagine it is like falling apart.
Speaker 1: We're looking at a photo of it in the studio
Speaker 1: right now, so we'll have that up on the Brook
Speaker 1: and Jeffrey Instant stories.
Speaker 2: It is pretty impressive.
Speaker 1: But when he finished, Richard gathered all of his friends
Speaker 1: and family and coworkers and fans for a huge unveiling.
Speaker 1: As the crowd waited with baited breath, the Guinness Book
Speaker 1: of World Records officials analyzed the structure, and then the
Speaker 1: representative finally stepped up to the microphone and told everyone
Speaker 1: that Richard was disqualified because he is the wrong type
Speaker 1: of match sticks.
Speaker 4: It's so.
Speaker 3: Get that right. Eight years double chat. He was using
Speaker 3: the right thing, but.
Speaker 1: Match sticks he used weren't commercially available to purchase, so those.
Speaker 2: Don't count out. And the thing is.
Speaker 1: Three years into his build, Richard got tired of buying
Speaker 1: matches from the supermarket and having to manually remove all
Speaker 1: the sulfur heads from each and every one, right.
Speaker 3: Because you can't build with those At the.
Speaker 1: End, he got inventive and struck a deal with a
Speaker 1: manufacturer to sell him giant boxes of headless matches to him.
Speaker 4: Like a cheap I mean, it's so much easier, practical, cheat,
Speaker 4: It's just a smarter move. No.
Speaker 1: Unfortunately, that choice turned out to be his demise, so
Speaker 1: Richard plans to appeal the decision and is hopeful he
Speaker 1: won't have to start all over again.
Speaker 3: Match Sticks, it's still match sticks.
Speaker 1: This is just like when I set the Guinness World
Speaker 1: Record for drinking the Caprice on the fastest.
Speaker 2: But they're like, no, that was an amor and Caprica
Speaker 2: and we want a UK Caprice.
Speaker 4: But they can't have an American record. Jeffrey, I mean
Speaker 4: I'm still upset about that too.
Speaker 2: You know, the Guinness people were such sticklers.
Speaker 3: Take that down.
Speaker 1: Let's go to your next laser story out of the Midwest.
Speaker 1: I know some people in this room won't be happy
Speaker 1: about this, but Nebraska will be scrapping it's awesome tourism
Speaker 1: slogan Nebraska.
Speaker 2: Honestly, it's not for everyone.
Speaker 3: How is that not caught on?
Speaker 2: Well that's probably why they're dropping it.
Speaker 1: Yeah. This week, Nebraska's Tourism Commission announced that it was
Speaker 1: ditching the tagline because quote, it's a thing of the past.
Speaker 2: End quote.
Speaker 1: Times change and everything has a shelf life.
Speaker 3: What's the new one?
Speaker 1: Because it makes it seem like that tagline has been
Speaker 1: around for generations, but it's only five years old.
Speaker 4: Oh yes, somebody got hired in the tourism department wants
Speaker 4: to put their mark on things.
Speaker 1: The thing is, it actually was successful because a survey
Speaker 1: of tourists and the target market for Nebraska showed interest
Speaker 1: rising from nineteen percent in twenty nineteen to more recently
Speaker 1: thirty nine percent.
Speaker 3: Interests a big job.
Speaker 1: Also, during the last five years, Nebraska moved up to
Speaker 1: become the forty first state people were interested in visiting,
Speaker 1: which is up from fiftieth dead last where it had
Speaker 1: been previously. That's the.
Speaker 3: Ladder places to go Nebraska.
Speaker 1: So of course the slogan was meant to be fun
Speaker 1: and self deprecating, something they could use jokingly in their
Speaker 1: marketing as a way to appeal to people.
Speaker 3: I mean, they're leaning into that number fifty they were.
Speaker 2: At, but it wasn't for everybody.
Speaker 3: God, now they're forty one, it's gone to their head jets.
Speaker 2: Well, the current governor was not a fan of it.
Speaker 1: He recently called it nonsense and urged the Travel Commission
Speaker 1: to find a new slogan. So unclear what that's going
Speaker 1: to be. But in the past it was Nebraska, where
Speaker 1: the West begins to hopefully the last the Internet and
Speaker 1: get some creative submissions from people Nebraska.
Speaker 3: Taylor Swift came here once.
Speaker 1: Almost stay this next size of stories out of v.
Speaker 2: Day, Me Day Headquarters. Let's go back.
Speaker 1: In twenty twelve, a company was created with the acronym
Speaker 1: WGAC It stands for who Gives a Crap? And back
Speaker 1: then Who Gives a Crap launched a product through crowdfunding
Speaker 1: campaign on Indiegogo. Was It where their dream was to
Speaker 1: turn your ex's old love letters into toilet paper.
Speaker 3: Oh money, did it work out?
Speaker 1: Per the company's website, It's Flush your Ex campaign is
Speaker 1: now back due to popular demand on Valentine's Day, and
Speaker 1: this time it's personal.
Speaker 3: What do you mean, wasn't it already? It seems pretty personal?
Speaker 2: I think it's. Yeah, it's just as personal as it
Speaker 2: was before.
Speaker 1: Instrumatic Okay, the company's asking you to send in letters
Speaker 1: taking up psychic space in your sock drawer so that
Speaker 1: they can take your ex's writings and then magic transformed
Speaker 1: their BS into TP.
Speaker 3: Can you print out text messages? You can write out
Speaker 3: the text message and then send it in.
Speaker 1: But once that happens, the roles will be shipped to
Speaker 1: you immediately for consumption. Can they say the second you
Speaker 1: start using it, it's actually pretty cathartic and enjoyable. Roger
Speaker 1: always was soft on the tush. Yeah, let's go to
Speaker 1: your next laser story. Out of social media central, random
Speaker 1: guy on Twitter just went viral for his post. I
Speaker 1: got thousands of likes and a lot of controversial feedback.
Speaker 1: It was a question that said, you are offered the
Speaker 1: chance to flip a coin tails, you get one billion
Speaker 1: dollars heads, you get continuous, incurable hiccups for your entire life.
Speaker 3: Oh that's terrible.
Speaker 2: And not flipping the coin guarantees you both.
Speaker 3: You can't even solve hiccups with a billion dollars?
Speaker 2: What do you shoot? I tough question, right. I would
Speaker 2: choose the guaranteed ball because I know how to get
Speaker 2: rid of hiccups. But no, you can if you can.
Speaker 1: According to the web, the results came back apparently fifty
Speaker 1: seven percent of people would actually flip the coin, which
Speaker 1: is more than I thought.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's tails.
Speaker 4: I feel like, how often does it land on tails?
Speaker 4: I know it's a fifty to fifty chance, but it
Speaker 4: doesn't feel like it.
Speaker 2: I always pig tails. But you may be right here.
Speaker 1: Maybe forty three percent of people said they would accept
Speaker 1: the hiccups if it meant they'd also be a billionaire.
Speaker 4: Okay, if you're that rich, can you make everybody else
Speaker 4: have hiccups so everybody's in it together with you?
Speaker 2: Do you?
Speaker 3: Like, I'm just trying to figure out, like a way
Speaker 3: that I can live with it?
Speaker 1: Is that really what you would want to spend your
Speaker 1: billion dollars hot giving you a whole world hiccups?
Speaker 4: Think it only costs one hundred millions.
Speaker 2: You have nine hundred milli lefs. I mean to be honest, if.
Speaker 1: You think about it, hiccups are just random spasms of
Speaker 1: the diaphragm.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and that's.
Speaker 1: Actually what's been bugging this guy all these years up
Speaker 1: the fathoms.
Speaker 2: We thought it was something else that he was doing.
Speaker 2: Turned out it's just tiny little turtle hiccups.
Speaker 3: That's so cute. Actually, yeah, I wish it was.
Speaker 2: That's what we're calling it now.
Speaker 1: That means Laser Stories has come to it end for
Speaker 1: the day. We'll do it again the same time on
Speaker 1: Monday
Speaker 3: Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,