Speaker 1: One eight hundred d ui away now offering free remote
Speaker 1: consultations by phone or video conference for any criminal offense.
Speaker 1: Trust Brook, Jeffrey and Jose's friends with a free remote
Speaker 1: consultation from Bradley Johnson Lawyers. Visit one eight hundred douy
Speaker 1: away dot com or call eight hundred do you y Away.
Speaker 2: Valentine's Day is coming up, so we're already starting to
Speaker 2: see a few requests trickle in.
Speaker 3: This is like that time of years, so romantic.
Speaker 2: Like today's from a woman who accidentally found out her
Speaker 2: husband has scheduled a surprise Valentine's Day couple's massage for.
Speaker 1: The two of them.
Speaker 3: Though he actually did it right.
Speaker 2: He is completely unaware that she's already figured out the gift.
Speaker 2: Oh that kind of That's why we're gonna mess with
Speaker 2: him and tell him he doesn't quite understand the type
Speaker 2: of massage that he signed them up. You're gonna hear
Speaker 2: it in your phone tab right now.
Speaker 3: Another Hello, Hi, I'm looking for David Barlow. I'm calling
Speaker 3: from Therapy and Massage Center. My name is Sharon Needles.
Speaker 4: Yeah, this is he great.
Speaker 3: I'm calling to confirm you've scheduled a Valentine's Day couple's
Speaker 3: massage package. Yeah that's right, February fourteenth, three pm. We've
Speaker 3: got you down.
Speaker 4: Thank you. I'm really excited about surprise for my wife.
Speaker 3: Someone's going to be getting some action that night.
Speaker 4: Uh, we'll see. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah. So, as you know, the package is two hundred
Speaker 3: and fifty dollars, not including tax and tip, and looks
Speaker 3: like we have a credit card in our system. Do
Speaker 3: I have your permission to run the charges? Oh? Yeah, sure,
Speaker 3: great and it went through. So you're all set, and
Speaker 3: you know, just a few notes before you come in.
Speaker 4: U huh.
Speaker 3: The payment is non refundable and this will be a
Speaker 3: touchless massage.
Speaker 4: Oh what does that mean?
Speaker 3: Oh did you not hear me? It's a non refundable
Speaker 3: touchless massage.
Speaker 4: No, I heard you about the non refundable part. What's
Speaker 4: a touchless massage?
Speaker 3: Well it is a little embarrassing. But last week we
Speaker 3: had an unexpected visit from the police. Some people call
Speaker 3: it a raid.
Speaker 4: What does that mean?
Speaker 3: Long story short, Legally we aren't allowed to touch anyone
Speaker 3: for an undetermined amount of time.
Speaker 4: Uh. Okay, that's disturbing.
Speaker 3: Oh don't worry, it's all fixed. This touchless massage will
Speaker 3: be magical. In fact, it's just like getting a normal massage.
Speaker 3: But it's not.
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, I it sounds is it like hot rocks?
Speaker 3: Ah, you have more questions. Okay, I'll walk you through it.
Speaker 3: So you'll still de robe and you'll lay on the
Speaker 3: table a suiting music plays. Then your massage therapists will
Speaker 3: run their hands and fingers just a few inches above
Speaker 3: your body.
Speaker 4: But that's not a real massage.
Speaker 3: Oh, not to worry. The entire time, the messus will
Speaker 3: be telling you about the knots we're getting out of
Speaker 3: your back. Oh, and loosening up those tight shoulders. Oh wait,
Speaker 3: I bet that's where you carry your stress too.
Speaker 4: Yeah I do. But like you have to involve some
Speaker 4: kind of touching. That that's the definition of a massage. Wow.
Speaker 3: Look, if you're one of those perverts who just wants
Speaker 3: to come in here looking for something else, we've been there,
Speaker 3: done that, and we're not looking for another. We'll call
Speaker 3: it authority entourage to enter our establishment.
Speaker 4: I'm not coming for a rubin tug. I'm coming. I
Speaker 4: was coming with my wife.
Speaker 3: So it is interesting, you know the word for it.
Speaker 3: Come on back your couple's package. It does come with
Speaker 3: complimentary of romotherapy. I, oh great, I don't care.
Speaker 4: Like this is not happening.
Speaker 3: Again because of that little police snapho, we're not allowed
Speaker 3: to apply the oils directly to you. Wait, so we've
Speaker 3: pushed the massage table close to the wall so you
Speaker 3: can smell the glade plugin.
Speaker 4: That's not romantherapy. This is just like a plug in
Speaker 4: close to my nose.
Speaker 3: Yes, it's very soothing. So I'd love to know what
Speaker 3: sent you on. Are you more of a lavender or
Speaker 3: a tropical mango person?
Speaker 4: No, those things are gross anyway.
Speaker 3: You know, I hear that you are upset. I just
Speaker 3: want to let you know that you have paid over
Speaker 3: four hundred dollars for this and it's non refundable.
Speaker 4: So what are you talking about? Four hundred? Yeah, it
Speaker 4: was two fifty.
Speaker 3: Well I added on tax and one hundred and thirty
Speaker 3: dollars tip because, oh my god, just know how much
Speaker 3: you'll love it.
Speaker 4: Jeesus, you're not only running a prostitution ring, you're like
Speaker 4: running some sort of again.
Speaker 3: Our phone is tapped. If you could not say that word,
Speaker 3: that would be really helpful.
Speaker 4: No, I don't give it about helping you. Listen. I
Speaker 4: am going to get that money back. I don't know,
Speaker 4: like if I had to take you too small claims
Speaker 4: or whatever, or you can hear from my lawyer.
Speaker 3: Well, actually I've already heard from your wife, Kara, and
Speaker 3: she is really excited about it.
Speaker 4: What.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because Kara is actually the one that set you
Speaker 3: up for this phone tap. This is Brooke from the
Speaker 3: radio show Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning. We're doing
Speaker 3: a breaking.
Speaker 4: On your Oh my god, I was about to burst
Speaker 4: a vessel.
Speaker 3: Your wife said that she found out about the massage surprise,
Speaker 3: and she's actually really excited.
Speaker 4: I could never keep a secret from her.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 4: Oh I just was about to lose my mind.
Speaker 3: Clearly you wanted like a full touch massage.
Speaker 4: Wow. No, no, no, I didn't want a regular mage.
Speaker 2: Ah.
Speaker 3: Well, we'll see what the authorities say after I send
Speaker 3: him this audio. Wake Up.
Speaker 1: Every morning was phone tap weekday mornings on the twenties
Speaker 1: Brooking Jeffrey
Speaker 3: In the Morning.