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Speaker 2: We rarely do this on the show because we have
Speaker 2: listeners everywhere, all across the country and around the globe,
Speaker 2: so we tend to edit out any local references from
Speaker 2: calls them. Well, it's further benefit because a lot of
Speaker 2: people they wouldn't know what the hell they were talking about.
Speaker 2: But this call is different. We're going deep into Florida.
Speaker 2: That's right. It's a Florida tap with a woman who
Speaker 2: has an Etsy business where she collects coconuts, paints them,
Speaker 2: and then sells them online.
Speaker 3: Normal Florida stuff.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, and one of our listeners told us that she
Speaker 2: does this and said please mess with her big time.
Speaker 2: So that's gonna be Brooks job in your phone tap
Speaker 2: right now?
Speaker 4: Another morning.
Speaker 3: Hello, Hi, I'm looking for Lauren Ky.
Speaker 4: This is she Who's this?
Speaker 5: It's Valerie Shitsu from the Florida Wildlife Commission. Okay, are
Speaker 5: a tough person to get a hold of. I've actually
Speaker 5: come by your house a few times, but no one's
Speaker 5: ever home.
Speaker 4: How do you know where I live? And why are
Speaker 4: you coming to my house?
Speaker 3: Are you evading us?
Speaker 4: Why would I evade you? What are you talking about?
Speaker 4: What do you want?
Speaker 3: Figured? You played dumb?
Speaker 4: Excuse you?
Speaker 5: Well, it's come to our attention that you've been going
Speaker 5: around collecting coconuts and wow, so you admit it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, what's the problem with that? They're coconuts that is
Speaker 4: falling on the ground.
Speaker 3: I had no idea it was gonna be like this.
Speaker 4: So am I in trouble for speaking of rotting coconuts
Speaker 4: off the floor? What's the problem?
Speaker 3: Okay, you're gonna downplay it. I see. Yeah, you are
Speaker 3: in trouble. You're in big trouble in fact.
Speaker 4: Okay, you're laughing at.
Speaker 3: This like it's nothing.
Speaker 5: Most people know this, and hopefully you're not one of
Speaker 5: those that pretends to act dumb.
Speaker 4: I'm not dumb at all. Believe me. I've been doing
Speaker 4: this for years. There's no problem with collecting running coconuts
Speaker 4: off the floor.
Speaker 5: Then you should know that you just violated an endangered
Speaker 5: species law here in Florida.
Speaker 4: Coconuts are not endangered species. What are you talking about?
Speaker 5: Yeah, duh, coconuts aren't animals, lady, We're talking about the
Speaker 5: rats that eat the coconuts.
Speaker 4: What rats are endangered?
Speaker 3: Manates? Rats and bottled nosed dolphins.
Speaker 4: Are you're all on the list?
Speaker 3: Look it up?
Speaker 4: Are you? Rats and bottlemo dolphins? Those go together in
Speaker 4: a category? What are you talking about?
Speaker 5: You knowingly violated Florida law by taking away the rats
Speaker 5: natural food supply of rotting coconuts.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's no I don't know if endangered rats. Yes,
Speaker 4: there's no endangered rats that I'm aware of.
Speaker 3: Really, I don't know what your situation is.
Speaker 5: But where I come from, and I've lived here a
Speaker 5: long time, rats are revered. In fact, we call them
Speaker 5: the ground eagles, the sewer.
Speaker 4: I don't care what they're called. They're rack and if
Speaker 4: they really are protective, they shouldn't be.
Speaker 3: I see you're one of them, all right, one of them.
Speaker 3: Let me ask you this, Actually, let me ask you this.
Speaker 3: Have you ever cuddled a rat?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 4: Is that that's disgusting? They're unsanitary.
Speaker 3: I have a right a lot.
Speaker 5: In fact, I've got a dozen at my home and
Speaker 5: we watch Wheel of Fortune every night, just snuggle up together.
Speaker 4: Why am I not surprised to hear that?
Speaker 5: And it makes me angry, deep deep hatren you to
Speaker 5: find out someone is taking away my baby's food source.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, how would you like it if I
Speaker 5: starve your baby?
Speaker 4: What are you talking about? That is not the same thing.
Speaker 5: It hurts?
Speaker 3: It hurts, doesn't it?
Speaker 4: It doesn't hurt me. This is stupid.
Speaker 3: What are you even doing with these coconuts?
Speaker 4: Well, for your information, I'm an artist and I paint
Speaker 4: them and I sell them on Etsy and it does
Speaker 4: very well, thank you very much.
Speaker 5: What you just admitted that you're stealing the food supply
Speaker 5: from tidy little rattlings and selling it illegally over the internet.
Speaker 4: I'm fealing anything. I'm correcting coconuts that fall on the ground, which.
Speaker 5: Many people just need to take a note here, because
Speaker 5: we're going to be tacking on commercial trafficking charges as well,
Speaker 5: that's for sure.
Speaker 4: He me a freaking break, lady. You don't know what
Speaker 4: you're doing.
Speaker 5: We're just gonna get to the nitty gritty here and
Speaker 5: I'm gonna find you actually.
Speaker 3: What yeah, find me? Yep?
Speaker 5: I have all the evidence I need, and that fine
Speaker 5: will be ten thousand dollars.
Speaker 4: Are you joking ten thousand dollars for picking up rotten coconuts?
Speaker 5: Well, it's actually your lucky day because it's either that
Speaker 5: ten thousand dollars fine or eight hundred hours of mandatory
Speaker 5: community service.
Speaker 4: What picking up tracks? Now what I'm doing already with
Speaker 4: your hug yuts.
Speaker 5: No, you'll be rehabilitating rats at the Everglade Rodent Rehabilitation Center.
Speaker 3: Is that? Yeah? Duh, okay, duh.
Speaker 4: This is not a big deal. Everybody does this.
Speaker 3: That's where it starts, taking coconuts from rats. Next thing
Speaker 3: you know, people will be calling for the public execution
Speaker 3: of Mickey Mouse. Is that what you want?
Speaker 4: Taking coconuts from rats?
Speaker 1: Is that?
Speaker 3: Really?
Speaker 4: That's what you're calling this.
Speaker 3: That's what it is.
Speaker 5: And I believe it, and your friend Josie believes it,
Speaker 5: and everybody here at this radio station where you just
Speaker 5: got set up for a prank phone call believes it
Speaker 5: as well.
Speaker 4: Joffy, are you serious?
Speaker 5: Yeah, this is actually Brooke from the radio station, Brooke
Speaker 5: and Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, that's evil.
Speaker 5: You can blame Josie, She said, Apparently your coconut Etsy
Speaker 5: page is really taking off.
Speaker 3: But I want to ask, at the expense of what
Speaker 3: and who's life.
Speaker 4: Should I sail the rest?
Speaker 3: You are evil?
Speaker 5: Wake Up every morning was phone taps weekday mornings on
Speaker 5: the twenties, brooking Jeffrey in the morning,