Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly
Speaker 1: conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small
Speaker 1: decisions we can make to become the best possible versions
Speaker 1: of ourselves. I'm your host, doctor Joy hard and Bradford,
Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or
Speaker 1: to find a therapist in your area, visit our website
Speaker 1: at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com. While I hope you
Speaker 1: love listening to and learning from the podcast, it is
Speaker 1: not meant to be a substitute for a relationship with
Speaker 1: a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much
Speaker 1: for joining me for session three forty seven for Black
Speaker 1: Girl's Podcast. We'll get right into our conversation after a
Speaker 1: word from our sponsors. Have you ever dreamed of a
Speaker 1: meaningful life abroad where your days are spent basking in
Speaker 1: local natural wonders and surrounded by new language, food, and culture.
Speaker 1: A kind of life that swaps your career driven lifestyle
Speaker 1: for a life centric existence. While it may sound like
Speaker 1: a whimsical fantasy, it is indeed possible to plan a
Speaker 1: life you love in another country. Proof of that are
Speaker 1: today's guests, Rashida Dow and Stephanie Perry. Both women are
Speaker 1: passionate proponents of career breaks, sabbaticals, and grown up gap years.
Speaker 1: In twenty twenty, they founded the Exodus Summit, an organization
Speaker 1: that shows black women ways to plan their exodus, all
Speaker 1: while fostering community. Since the creation of Exodus Summit, hundreds
Speaker 1: of their members have taken a career break, moved abroad,
Speaker 1: or begun living nomadically. During our conversation, Rashida and Stephanie
Speaker 1: answer all the questions you might have around financing your
Speaker 1: move abroad, pouring into the local community as a foreigner,
Speaker 1: and announcing your sabbatical to your employers and family. If
Speaker 1: something resonates with you while enjoying our conversation, please share
Speaker 1: with us on social media using the hashtag TVG in session,
Speaker 1: or join us over in the Sister Circle to talk
Speaker 1: more about the episode. You can join us at community
Speaker 1: dot Therapy for Blackgirls dot com. Here's our conversation. Thank
Speaker 1: you so much for joining me today. I had the
Speaker 1: pleasure of joining you recently as a speaker at your
Speaker 1: Exodus summits. I'm very glad to have you on Therapy
Speaker 1: for Black Girls today.
Speaker 2: Thank you for having us.
Speaker 3: We're so excited to be here.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Thank you. So I mentioned the Exodus Summit,
Speaker 1: and the Exodus Summit is a virtual conference for Black
Speaker 1: women planning a sabbatical, x fat move or nomadic life abroad.
Speaker 1: Can you tell me what inspired you to create the
Speaker 1: platform and what need do you feel like it fulfills.
Speaker 2: Stephanie and I connected through our own sabbaticals. I took one,
Speaker 2: Stephanie took one. We met during that time, and Stephanie
Speaker 2: came to me one day with the great idea of
Speaker 2: creating a summit for Black women who wanted to move abroad,
Speaker 2: take a sabbatical, you know, really explore the world on
Speaker 2: their own. And this is twenty twenty. We were going
Speaker 2: to give everyone all the infobaing needed at one time.
Speaker 2: Our first summit had fifty something speakers and forty something sessions.
Speaker 2: It was a seven day blur and I've blocked out
Speaker 2: some of it, but we were going to do that
Speaker 2: and then that was it. We started a Facebook group
Speaker 2: for the members of that summit for that summit, and
Speaker 2: our plan was to close the group when it was over,
Speaker 2: and then everyone would have all the information we needed
Speaker 2: right there at that first summit. But every time we
Speaker 2: talked to our community about like this is being the end.
Speaker 2: They were like, no, no, no, We'll see you in
Speaker 2: the same place, same time next fall, bring us some
Speaker 2: more speakers. And so I feel if our community started
Speaker 2: started this right, we didn't have the intention of exodusmit
Speaker 2: being what it is four years later for summits later.
Speaker 2: We just knew that in the first year, we had
Speaker 2: a lot of friends who we knew had valuable information
Speaker 2: to share with our audience, and so we wanted to
Speaker 2: get that out there so that more Black women could
Speaker 2: see ways for the world to be accessible to them.
Speaker 2: And so we did it one year and they won't
Speaker 2: let us quit, so they keep doing it.
Speaker 3: That's right. And the need it feels is any person
Speaker 3: needs to see something to make that thing more possible,
Speaker 3: more realistic in our lives. And so the need that
Speaker 3: this feels is it gives black women a place and
Speaker 3: a time to get together and see Black women living
Speaker 3: in a way that it's different that goes against what
Speaker 3: American culture is pressing you towards. You taught us off
Speaker 3: to joy about possibility models. It gives a place for
Speaker 3: the possibility models and the people with the dream or
Speaker 3: the vision or the hope to get together and learn
Speaker 3: from each other.
Speaker 2: I love that. I love that.
Speaker 1: So can you give us some definitions of these terms?
Speaker 1: So what does it mean to be an expat or
Speaker 1: for you to live a nomadic lifestyle?
Speaker 3: So expat is just an immigrant, right. An expat is
Speaker 3: a person who leaves their country, the country of their birth,
Speaker 3: and goes to another place. Most of the women in
Speaker 3: our community happen to be Americans, Canadians, some Caribbeans, some
Speaker 3: British women, but most of us are going to a
Speaker 3: new country. We do have some repats, some women who
Speaker 3: are moving back to the country of their birth. But
Speaker 3: it's just an immigrant, right. And then no mads or
Speaker 3: just people who bop around, right. Our women love to
Speaker 3: talk about the BAP right. It's just moving from place
Speaker 3: to place. Having the powerful passports that most of us
Speaker 3: have give us access to a lot of the world,
Speaker 3: and nomadic living is just taking advantage of that. If
Speaker 3: they will let you be in that country for three months,
Speaker 3: you go and you move slowly in that place for
Speaker 3: three months, or maybe you don't move at all, you.
Speaker 2: Just go to one place.
Speaker 3: But it's just about using the privileges that we do have.
Speaker 3: Having these blue passports and going to countries or going
Speaker 3: to places that we want to, not because someone says
Speaker 3: that this is the place that black women should be visiting,
Speaker 3: but visiting wherever in the world that you want to
Speaker 3: see for as long as you want to and as
Speaker 3: long as you can.
Speaker 1: And Geita, you mentioned that y'all meant because you both
Speaker 1: for taking a sabbatical. Can you say more about how
Speaker 1: the sabbatical aspect plays into all of this.
Speaker 2: We come upon a lot of women in our community,
Speaker 2: and this is how I entered into it. I was working.
Speaker 2: I had one of them good jobs, girl, but I
Speaker 2: hated every moment of it. Every time I want to work,
Speaker 2: I was like, is this the day I snapped? But
Speaker 2: I don't know what me snapping looks like. How it
Speaker 2: was manifesting was that I have some autoimmune issues, and
Speaker 2: I got so mad one day at work that I
Speaker 2: went and I walked two miles of the ocean and
Speaker 2: two miles back. I stopped at the movies along the way,
Speaker 2: and by the time I got back, I could barely see.
Speaker 2: My autommune issue affects my eyes and I had a
Speaker 2: flare even walking, even leaving, even going to the movies.
Speaker 2: To sit there and like, chill did not bring me
Speaker 2: down from the level of rage I was at in
Speaker 2: that media I was in, and there were other ways
Speaker 2: in which it was impacting my body. I was going
Speaker 2: to a therapist at the time, and you know, sometimes
Speaker 2: you're like I wasn't expecting that from my therapist. She
Speaker 2: was like, oh, they sound like horrible people.
Speaker 3: I was like, wait a minute, girl.
Speaker 2: What what My workplace was going out of business and
Speaker 2: I had the choice of getting another job or taking
Speaker 2: so I had some fun saved. I thought about taking
Speaker 2: some time off to travel the world for a year
Speaker 2: because it'd always been a goal of mine and that's
Speaker 2: how my career break. My therapist was like, go, like,
Speaker 2: this is the time for you to go. Go do
Speaker 2: it first. I'm gonna drop this real quick. She told
Speaker 2: me to quiet quick. Before quiet quitting was a thing.
Speaker 2: What she said to me at the time was what
Speaker 2: is the least amount of work you can give them
Speaker 2: and not get fired, because she was like, you're working
Speaker 2: too hard to prove things to people who don't want
Speaker 2: to see your value. You're gonna work yourself to death
Speaker 2: and they're never going to acknowledge that you're giving them
Speaker 2: what they're asking for and beyond, so stop it. She
Speaker 2: was like, give them the least. And that changed my life.
Speaker 2: And since then, I've been giving this message to anyone
Speaker 2: who will listen, Like, we shouldn't be out there killing
Speaker 2: ourselves to do the work at these jobs for people
Speaker 2: who will never acknowledge our value because they're not interested
Speaker 2: in acknowledging our value. And so I took a career break.
Speaker 2: I took a year off, and in that year off,
Speaker 2: I realized I could not go back to being in
Speaker 2: an office and having those same commas again. I could
Speaker 2: not allow someone else to bring my stress level to
Speaker 2: a point where it immediately impacted my body. And so
Speaker 2: the career break for me was a time to kind
Speaker 2: of get back. The career break saved my life in
Speaker 2: a way that I didn't know I needed. And so
Speaker 2: I'm an advocate for any black woman because whoever is
Speaker 2: listening to this right now will probably agree, as a
Speaker 2: black woman, you are underpaid and overworked, right, And so
Speaker 2: since that is the story for so many of us,
Speaker 2: wherever we can, I recommend that women opt out find
Speaker 2: another way, right. Like I went to law school and
Speaker 2: so I was working as a lawyer and you know
Speaker 2: you invest a lot of time to get that law degree.
Speaker 2: I passed the bar in two stays. I did all
Speaker 2: the things I was invested in my career. I was
Speaker 2: working for a good company. If I stayed there, I
Speaker 2: would have died. I know that to be true. That
Speaker 2: I would have had some kind of breakdown. My body
Speaker 2: would have broken down. It would have caused permanent damage
Speaker 2: to me as a human if I stayed there. Now,
Speaker 2: I'm like, ladies, what if instead of killing yourself up
Speaker 2: a job that you hate, right, what if you took
Speaker 2: a break, whether that is three weeks, three months, three years.
Speaker 2: What if you took some time between leaving one job
Speaker 2: that you hate and going to another job that you
Speaker 2: hope might be better. But we know, right like we know?
Speaker 2: And even if you don't hate your job, when's the
Speaker 2: last time you got time for yourself? Time to say
Speaker 2: what I want to pursue, who i'd like to be,
Speaker 2: how much sleep I'd like to get. I didn't realize
Speaker 2: how sleep deprived I was. And most people don't realize
Speaker 2: how sleep deprived they are until they get an extended break.
Speaker 2: And sometimes those extended breaks aren't voluntary. But if you
Speaker 2: can take a voluntary extended break and say I'm going
Speaker 2: to spend six months on a beach eating coconuts. Your
Speaker 2: body is going to thank you, and you only get one, right,
Speaker 2: And so I hear a lot of times from women
Speaker 2: that like, oh, this is impossible for myself. But we
Speaker 2: have a community of almost fourteen thousand women now who
Speaker 2: are actively trying to make this happen for themselves. And
Speaker 2: we have so many success stories of women who have
Speaker 2: done it, who've retired earlier than they ever expected, who've
Speaker 2: taken the breaks, and who on those breaks learned things
Speaker 2: about themselves that will lead them to more satisfaction and
Speaker 2: happiness than chasing the next dollar at the job.
Speaker 1: So it sounds like those very early meetings that you
Speaker 1: all had, that experience of kind of taking their first
Speaker 1: sabbatical has radically changed both of your lives. So if
Speaker 1: you are comfortable sharing where are you both now and
Speaker 1: what are you doing? How did you end up being there?
Speaker 1: I mean, how would you describe your lifestyle at this point?
Speaker 3: I'm in San Jose, Costa Rica and I'm setting up
Speaker 3: a home, getting residency and making San Jose, Costa Rica
Speaker 3: my home. My career break happened just because I wanted
Speaker 3: a year of travel without a job, having any say, right,
Speaker 3: I wanted pictures for Instagram, Like seriously, I just want
Speaker 3: to take cute pictures and lay in a hambit. But
Speaker 3: that break introduced me to the rest of myself, right,
Speaker 3: the me who wasn't worker Stephanie, but all of Stephanie.
Speaker 3: That's why it's really hard to go back, no turn
Speaker 3: it back. So where I am now post sabbatical, right
Speaker 3: after career break is I've created an entire life where
Speaker 3: I get to have a whole life and not work,
Speaker 3: and then some other things I get to do that
Speaker 3: fit around work. And so where I am is in
Speaker 3: an amazing place, getting to really form community with people,
Speaker 3: really have sisterhood and enjoy the sisterhood and reciprocate. Be
Speaker 3: a sister to people, be a friend to people, be
Speaker 3: in community with black women. Because I don't have the thing,
Speaker 3: I don't have to squeeze these things in. I get
Speaker 3: to make a whole life out of those things and
Speaker 3: then squeeze and work when she can't. Okay, work has
Speaker 3: to get in where it fits in. Work is not
Speaker 3: my life anymore, it's not my priorities. It doesn't dictate
Speaker 3: what I do, where I go, who I see anymore.
Speaker 2: I am in Mexico City. I ended up here because
Speaker 2: I'd been here about four times, and I came here
Speaker 2: two or three times in my career break. The last
Speaker 2: time in my career break that I came here, I
Speaker 2: was with one of my best friends. She met me
Speaker 2: down here for holidays and we met at the hotel
Speaker 2: and walked out, so I had to go take a
Speaker 2: walk and I walked around and I said, why don't
Speaker 2: I live here? And she was like, why don't you?
Speaker 2: I was speechless. I was like, I don't have an answer.
Speaker 2: I had spent this was January, my career break, so
Speaker 2: I'd spent about seven months traveling the world. Already, I
Speaker 2: had experienced so many things, so many places, and yet
Speaker 2: the idea of not moving back to America. And I
Speaker 2: wasn't born in America, so my family are all immigrants.
Speaker 2: It's not like we have deeply entrenched roots or anything.
Speaker 2: But still, the idea of not moving back to America
Speaker 2: was like people do, Oh yeah, my parents do that.
Speaker 2: They moved in multiple other countries in their lifetime. I
Speaker 2: can move to another country too, if I want to.
Speaker 2: I just have to figure out what to do, and
Speaker 2: now I have residency here. I've been here since twenty nineteen,
Speaker 2: on and off, fully a resident since twenty twenty. I
Speaker 2: love my life in Mexico City. I get to do
Speaker 2: whatever I want. Steffanie and I spend about two and
Speaker 2: a half months out of a year bossing each other around,
Speaker 2: and the rest of the time we can do whatever
Speaker 2: we want and go wherever we want. So even though
Speaker 2: Mexico City is my home, I'm probably here six or
Speaker 2: seven months out of a year, and the rest of
Speaker 2: a time I'm somewhere else. I'm going to see Stephanie
Speaker 2: in South Africa or how I be there for somewhere
Speaker 2: in Africa for probably a month and a half together,
Speaker 2: and then we're going on a cruise in the spring,
Speaker 2: like we just together or apart. We built lives that
Speaker 2: allow us to do the things we want from wherever.
Speaker 2: And I know that for some people this sounds impossible,
Speaker 2: But five years ago I was a corporate lawyer who
Speaker 2: could not imagine this life. I was a corporate lawyer
Speaker 2: who had to go to the office every day because
Speaker 2: I worked at a company that people needed to see
Speaker 2: me every day. They needed to come ask me their
Speaker 2: stupid question every single day, right, And so the idea
Speaker 2: that I'm living the life I'm living now was so
Speaker 2: foreign to me that if anyone is thinking, yeah, you
Speaker 2: can do that, but I can't remember that, I thought
Speaker 2: that too in twenty eighteen. That's what I was thinking
Speaker 2: before I went on breaking to that. Like not only
Speaker 2: did I not have those possibility models, but like my
Speaker 2: brain couldn't even accept it. Even when I was traveling
Speaker 2: the world, I couldn't imagine the next step of moving abroad.
Speaker 2: And so it's part of the reason we have this
Speaker 2: conversation all the time is because Stephanie and I have
Speaker 2: found a freedom that we couldn't have imagined years ago,
Speaker 2: and we want other women to know they can get
Speaker 2: it too, right, Like, it may not be today, it
Speaker 2: may not be tomorrow, it may take some mark, but
Speaker 2: it can be yours too if you want it.
Speaker 1: So let's talk directly to these sisters now, because I
Speaker 1: think a lot of people listening to this are like
Speaker 1: absolutely not, Like, I don't even know where to start.
Speaker 1: So if somebody is considering a change like this, what
Speaker 1: kinds of questions do they need to ask themselves to
Speaker 1: kind of start down this path.
Speaker 3: I think the first thing you need to know is
Speaker 3: what could your life look like in a different place.
Speaker 3: Get a vision. Get an idea for yourself, the dreams right,
Speaker 3: the things that when you're scrolling on Instagram you're like, oh,
Speaker 3: must be nice, right. Get an idea for what your
Speaker 3: life could look like. Then it makes it a little
Speaker 3: easier to do the steps to work towards it. You
Speaker 3: don't want to copy what Rashida did, what I did,
Speaker 3: what somebody else did. So get an idea of what
Speaker 3: would be amazing, even if you don't think it's possible today.
Speaker 3: We want to start with a vision.
Speaker 2: Stephanie starts you with your vision, and I'm going to
Speaker 2: take you to what I think is the next step.
Speaker 2: And what I always tell everyone, and that is do
Speaker 2: the math. Through the math, what happened to me. The
Speaker 2: situation most women I talk to are in is that
Speaker 2: your starting place is it's not possible, And a lot
Speaker 2: of it's not possible is related to money. Most people
Speaker 2: start it's not possible without doing the math of how
Speaker 2: much would that life actually cost me? And how much
Speaker 2: money do I have access to right now or may
Speaker 2: I have access to in the future. If I move
Speaker 2: some things around, juggle, juggle, carry the one divide by six. Right,
Speaker 2: What are the different ways that you can get money?
Speaker 2: What are different ways that you can fund your lifestyle
Speaker 2: overseas a lot of our women are doing remote work,
Speaker 2: and that helps make it more accessible to them. Stephanie
Speaker 2: is the house sitting queen. She's doctor house. We need
Speaker 2: a new title for you, like doctor housing. One of
Speaker 2: the ways I got introduced to Stephanie is she's a
Speaker 2: house sitter who trains other people to become house sitters.
Speaker 2: And house sitting provides free accommodations while you're traveling around
Speaker 2: the world. So Stephanie's I was always so impressive for me.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna put her business in the streets. Stephanie's budget
Speaker 2: when she traveled for one year was like fourteen thousand
Speaker 2: dollars thousand, four hundred something like that.
Speaker 3: Fourteen's four But let me tell you that was before
Speaker 3: I knew about house sitting. Right after I started house sitting,
Speaker 3: I spent six months in Mexico. I left with three thousand,
Speaker 3: three or four thousand dollars and I came back with
Speaker 3: some money still, Right, because when you don't have to
Speaker 3: pay for a place to stay. You don't have a
Speaker 3: lot of money to spend, you don't have to spend.
Speaker 2: A whole lot. And so if a six month career
Speaker 2: break in another country might only cost you less than
Speaker 2: three or four thousand dollars, like, it sounds more accessible
Speaker 2: right now, doesn't it than the idea of who's going
Speaker 2: to pay for this? Right? So get the dream right,
Speaker 2: know what you want because you can't do the math
Speaker 2: and know what you want. Figure out what you want
Speaker 2: your life to look like, and then do the math
Speaker 2: to figure out what that's gonna cost. And there are
Speaker 2: a lot of resources online if you know what country
Speaker 2: you want to go to, they're a lot of great
Speaker 2: resources that will tell you about the cost of living
Speaker 2: in those places. Add a little cushion. I always tell
Speaker 2: people to add a little cushion to that when you're
Speaker 2: doing your math. I don't want you broke overseas. No, No,
Speaker 2: and then look at what that cost compared to the
Speaker 2: life you're living right now. What we see for most
Speaker 2: people is when they go overseas, they don't want to
Speaker 2: come back because they're living an equal or nicer life
Speaker 2: for less money. And that doesn't mean that every other
Speaker 2: place is less expensive than the US. I live in
Speaker 2: Mexico City. It is less expensive than some cities in
Speaker 2: the US, but it's more expensive than some cities in
Speaker 2: the US. And so you know, you're just going to
Speaker 2: have to figure out a place that's right for you,
Speaker 2: that can fit in your budget, that's going to give
Speaker 2: you a lifestyle you want and that feels right right, Like,
Speaker 2: you don't want to leave a life you may not
Speaker 2: be in love with for a life. It's just like
Speaker 2: it's not America, right, Like, that's not what we want
Speaker 2: for you. We want you to walk into your joy,
Speaker 2: into what feels like freedom and what is expansive for you,
Speaker 2: what gives you the space to become the person you've
Speaker 2: always known you can be, and you can do that
Speaker 2: for not a lot of money. Around the world, we're
Speaker 2: telling you like it can be done. And so every
Speaker 2: time we hear a success story, we love taking credit
Speaker 2: our women go out and get it, and every time
Speaker 2: we see it, we're like, yes, we did that. But
Speaker 2: it's so much joy in seeing black women around the world,
Speaker 2: and we see them now creating communities, get it together
Speaker 2: for brunch in Rwanda. Right all around the world, we're
Speaker 2: seeing our women create their communities in ways that existed
Speaker 2: when we took our break, but not in the amount
Speaker 2: that we're seeing right now.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so that's step number three, right, get in community.
Speaker 3: You're not going to have the same people who encourage
Speaker 3: you and support you and cheer you on when you
Speaker 3: go back to school, when you buy a house or
Speaker 3: bigger house, when you take in your niece's kids, And
Speaker 3: the same people who support you doing the most aren't
Speaker 3: necessarily the same people who are going to support you
Speaker 3: when you decide to do the least, When you decide
Speaker 3: to start doing as little as possible, you may need
Speaker 3: a newer community. Not that you're going to need to
Speaker 3: distance yourself from the previous community, but you may need
Speaker 3: new people who get it. And so as number three,
Speaker 3: get in community with people who are moving in this direction.
Speaker 3: There's a lot of messaging out there that we're supposed
Speaker 3: to stay and struggle, right, We're supposed to just make
Speaker 3: ourselves as comfortable as we can in a situation of struggle,
Speaker 3: as opposed to just walk away from the struggle. There's
Speaker 3: a lot of messaging that black women are here to
Speaker 3: save people. We're here to save the world, We're here
Speaker 3: to save democracy. We gotta save the country, we gotta
Speaker 3: save black families, we gotta save the church. Right, And
Speaker 3: so when you say, you know what, I'm going to
Speaker 3: take some time, whatever period of time, Well, i'm gonna
Speaker 3: take some time. I'm gonna spend that time with me
Speaker 3: focusing on what I want to do and listening to me.
Speaker 3: You are going to need community with people who like that,
Speaker 3: because a lot of people will not like that.
Speaker 2: Because we talk about this all the time online, we
Speaker 2: have people who react negatively to what we're doing in
Speaker 2: ways that astound me because you don't know me. I'm
Speaker 2: not impacting your life at all. Every once in a while,
Speaker 2: as people seem to think that like it's some sort
Speaker 2: of like trafficking or like we're stealing black women from America,
Speaker 2: and it's like, I don't even see these women, like
Speaker 2: they go to where they want to go. I wasn't
Speaker 2: at that brunch in Rwanda, right, but they were there
Speaker 2: and they're happy and they found their joy. We don't
Speaker 2: tell you where to go. If you ask us for ideas,
Speaker 2: right and you give us your criteria, we might have
Speaker 2: some ideas that might fit it, but we're not telling
Speaker 2: you where to go. We're not telling you when to go,
Speaker 2: when to be there. We just want whatever looks like
Speaker 2: freedom and joy to you to be something that you
Speaker 2: can grasp in your hands, because it's so rare that
Speaker 2: in America we are allowed to do that. Right, You're
Speaker 2: not allowed to touch your happiness in America. There's always
Speaker 2: got to be something more. You get the house, like
Speaker 2: Stephanie said, but what about the next house, what about
Speaker 2: the bigger house? What about the vacation home? Right, there's
Speaker 2: no enough you get the education Black women and higher education,
Speaker 2: the answer is always go get another degree when you
Speaker 2: know it's not going to solve the problem, because a
Speaker 2: problem isn't that you're not qualified enough. The problem black
Speaker 2: woman is never that you're not qualified enough, Right, It's
Speaker 2: more likely that someone does not want to accept that
Speaker 2: you deserve those qualifications, that you truly earned those qualifications.
Speaker 2: Getting another degree isn't going to change yet. But that,
Speaker 2: to Stephane's point, is something that's easier for your mom
Speaker 2: and them to accept than like I am leaving to
Speaker 2: go to Thailand. I'll see you guys when I see you.
Speaker 2: I think so. My friends thought I was having a
Speaker 2: breakdown when I left, and now I might have been
Speaker 2: I told you that job was trying to kill me.
Speaker 2: I might have been having a breakdown, but the minute
Speaker 2: I left and I slept and I started getting back
Speaker 2: into me and the me that I knew, I wasn't
Speaker 2: the one who had it wrong. My freedom showed me
Speaker 2: that this is the life for me. It may not
Speaker 2: be the life for everybody, but staying to fight is
Speaker 2: not for me, and that is I'm not fighting for America.
Speaker 2: I'm not fighting for that job. I'm not fighting to
Speaker 2: be in a relationship with anybody. I'm so sorry we
Speaker 2: make it easy or I say goodbye like that. That's
Speaker 2: how I feel right now in my life. My biggest
Speaker 2: flex in my life right now is that I only
Speaker 2: speak to people I want to speak to.
Speaker 1: More from our conversation after the break. So, besides the
Speaker 1: finance piece and the math piece that you've already talked
Speaker 1: us through, what are some of the other common anxieties
Speaker 1: that come up for people when you are considering something
Speaker 1: like this.
Speaker 3: There's always the fear that you are giving up or
Speaker 3: walking away from what you work so hard for. Right
Speaker 3: you work so hard for your job or your whatever
Speaker 3: it is, and there's fear that taking a break from
Speaker 3: it or quitting it all together means that all of
Speaker 3: that was for nothing. But all of that was for nothing.
Speaker 3: All of that got you to wear You have choices today, right.
Speaker 3: I wasn't an attorney. I was a hospital pharmacy technician.
Speaker 3: But that job gave me enough money to take a
Speaker 3: year off. That job got me to the place where
Speaker 3: I had choices, I had options, and I could exercise
Speaker 3: those options. There's always the fear of that. Also, there's
Speaker 3: just the fear that other places are so unsafe that
Speaker 3: we live in the safest place and any place else
Speaker 3: we go is going to be It's so dangerous. Oh
Speaker 3: my gosh, Mexico, it's so dangerous. But listen, I'm like, girl,
Speaker 3: you live in St.
Speaker 2: Louis.
Speaker 3: I mean, you can make it there. You can make
Speaker 3: it anywhere. Fear of those things are probably the first
Speaker 3: things that jump out in health care, What are you
Speaker 3: gonna do about health care? In the United States, health
Speaker 3: care is tied to your work status, but that's not
Speaker 3: a worldwide thing. Having access to health care is a
Speaker 3: thing that really scares black women about taking a break
Speaker 3: or moving abroad. But it's really the reason to go.
Speaker 3: Once you have a little taste health care is one
Speaker 3: of the gateway dregs of moving abroad. Once you have
Speaker 3: a little taste of health care in another country that
Speaker 3: is accessible, that is affordable, where they treat you like
Speaker 3: a human being, where you actually get time with your doctor,
Speaker 3: where you talk to your doctor, where your doctor what
Speaker 3: sapps you and sends you messages, you're not going to
Speaker 3: want to come back to the US healthcare system.
Speaker 2: Another big thing that comes up for black women specifically
Speaker 2: is family, the idea that you're going to leave your
Speaker 2: family behind, the idea that you're not going to be
Speaker 2: there to care for the people to love or not
Speaker 2: be able to like continue to be the responsible party,
Speaker 2: because a lot of the people who get themselves in
Speaker 2: the position where they're like I, I am stressed, I
Speaker 2: am burnt out, I want something new. I'm talking about
Speaker 2: a lot of I'm not always going to say that
Speaker 2: the first daughter, but I'm going to say the responsible daughter.
Speaker 2: A lot of responsible daughters are out there. Like I've
Speaker 2: been working my whole life. I've been taking care of
Speaker 2: people this whole time. So I can't go because if
Speaker 2: I go, who's going to step into my shoes? Because
Speaker 2: no one's ever stepped into my shoes before. No one's
Speaker 2: ever said I'm going to do this. And a lot
Speaker 2: of times when they open that door, someone will walk through,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, Like someone in the family
Speaker 2: will step up. The ever thing we hear is that, oh,
Speaker 2: if I move, I won't see them anymore. My mother
Speaker 2: came to visit me more when I lived in Mexico
Speaker 2: City than when I lived in Columbus, Ohio, like significantly
Speaker 2: more times than when I lived in Columbus, Ohio. And
Speaker 2: now she lives in Mexico because what does doctor Joy say?
Speaker 2: Possibility models right, she saw it and she was like, oh,
Speaker 2: this is nice. She's houfing Metada right now, running the
Speaker 2: streets pretending she's not as old as she is because
Speaker 2: the city is keeping her young. Because she found a
Speaker 2: city that she loves. She loves the community there, She
Speaker 2: loves being with the people there. She loves being at
Speaker 2: the pool in her backyard pool every day, at the
Speaker 2: hotel where her girlfriends once or twice a week, Like
Speaker 2: they have created this community that she loves, and she
Speaker 2: wasn't getting when she was living in Florida. She wasn't
Speaker 2: experiencing the things the way she wanted to experience them.
Speaker 2: So for a lot of people, it's just if you
Speaker 2: find the city that resonates with your soul, it's a
Speaker 2: done deal. Mexico City was always a done deal for me.
Speaker 2: I went there and I was like, I should live here,
Speaker 2: and now I live here. So the idea that it's
Speaker 2: cutting a tie with your family isn't true because if
Speaker 2: they want to come see you, they can come see
Speaker 2: you if they have passports, right, and passports aren't impossible
Speaker 2: to get. They're not the easiest, but they're not impossible
Speaker 2: to get. You can always go back home to see them.
Speaker 2: And moving abroad doesn't mean moving forever. Right, You can
Speaker 2: make a choice to take a break from us and
Speaker 2: come back when you want to. A lot of people don't,
Speaker 2: I would say most people don't. What's it going to
Speaker 2: take the good life overseas? It's hard to go back,
Speaker 2: but you can do that if you want to. And
Speaker 2: so even if you are uncomfortable putting the burdens that
Speaker 2: you've been carrying for your family down, you probably should. Anyway,
Speaker 2: a lot of black women should be finding ways to
Speaker 2: say I love you, I'm taking care of you for
Speaker 2: this far. What are we going to do? To put
Speaker 2: you in a situation where either someone else can pick
Speaker 2: up the slack or we find a new model. One
Speaker 2: of the things we talk about aging agent is expensive
Speaker 2: in the US. It's a healthcare stuffing talked about that
Speaker 2: healthcare is one of the reasons aging is so expensive
Speaker 2: in the US. In other countries, it's not that bad.
Speaker 2: Right in other countries, you can get someone in the
Speaker 2: home to care for you for significantly less than you
Speaker 2: might in the US because labor isn't as expensive. It's
Speaker 2: not cutting ties family. Maybe it's taking someone with you.
Speaker 2: People are always like, oh, I have kids, I can't
Speaker 2: do this. Kids go to school all over the world. Right,
Speaker 2: I'm a single mom, I can't. Why not? Why not?
Speaker 2: We have so many mothers in our community who are
Speaker 2: either have their kids enrolled in school, or they're homeschooling
Speaker 2: or be doing some kind of world school experience, and
Speaker 2: they show other women how it's done, because it can
Speaker 2: be done. It can be done with kids, it can
Speaker 2: be done with aging parents. It can be done. Family
Speaker 2: and what you think your obligations are to your community,
Speaker 2: to your church, to the country, those are things that
Speaker 2: you may be holding on to too tightly and not
Speaker 2: looking at the other options available for you.
Speaker 1: So, Stephanie, you already mentioned house sitting as one way
Speaker 1: to kind of venture into these other places. But what
Speaker 1: other options exist for like finding places to stay in
Speaker 1: other countries, and how do you decide which other country
Speaker 1: is going to be a good fit for you.
Speaker 3: This is a good question because the places that you
Speaker 3: enjoyed on vacation and may not work for you as
Speaker 3: a resident. The places that you've enjoyed visiting may not
Speaker 3: also be places that you've enjoyed living. We find that
Speaker 3: women like to just pick. It sounds really strange, but
Speaker 3: there's enough information out there in the world. There's some
Speaker 3: place that you've been looking at that you've been eyed.
Speaker 3: Sometimes you just pick and you go there and you
Speaker 3: scout it out in a different way. Instead of being
Speaker 3: a tourist in a place, you go there and say,
Speaker 3: what would my life look like if I live there.
Speaker 3: Airbnb can mean possibly that you are staying in a
Speaker 3: residential neighborhood right instead of in a hotel in the
Speaker 3: tourist area. You could live in a residential area for
Speaker 3: a while. Check out the grocery stores, and check out transportation,
Speaker 3: and check out the infrastructure in a place. It really
Speaker 3: can be as simple as hopping on a flight, booking
Speaker 3: an airbnb, getting in community with the local expats, right
Speaker 3: with other people who have moved to a place because
Speaker 3: they've navigated what you want to work through, and checking
Speaker 3: some things out see how they sound to you. Because
Speaker 3: of the Internet, there's so much information out there that seriously,
Speaker 3: you can just pick some places that have sounded good
Speaker 3: because you saw some YouTube videos and you saw some right,
Speaker 3: you saw some things, and then just decide on your
Speaker 3: individual criteria and pick, like seriously, pick go visit, get
Speaker 3: an airbnb there, and go. So women stay in a
Speaker 3: variety of ways. There are businesses that give you a
Speaker 3: landing spot in a place. We have a good friend
Speaker 3: named Michelle who has a home in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico,
Speaker 3: and she has created a soft landing place for black
Speaker 3: women and families who want to move to that place.
Speaker 3: So there are places that will help you navigate this
Speaker 3: so you're not on your own. So if you don't
Speaker 3: want to just go end up in a city, in
Speaker 3: an airbnb in a strange place, there are like intermediaries
Speaker 3: who will help you navigate that you can just put
Speaker 3: in listen, who helps people move to this place in
Speaker 3: your Google it, look at it on YouTube, look at
Speaker 3: people up on Instagram, look people up on Facebook, and
Speaker 3: in Facebook groups. Ask questions in Facebook groups, and you
Speaker 3: can get some good help towards deciding on what fits
Speaker 3: your criteria. Coming up with your criteria, it's a different step.
Speaker 1: So can we get some input on, like how do
Speaker 1: you come up with your criteria for where your country
Speaker 1: would be?
Speaker 2: So I actually am going to speak to that. I
Speaker 2: always tell people when you start this process, a lot
Speaker 2: of us, when you think of where I might want
Speaker 2: to live, will either have like zero places on their
Speaker 2: list or one hundred. And if you're at zero, okay,
Speaker 2: leave the page blank. If you're at one hundred, write
Speaker 2: them all down. Write all those places down. And then
Speaker 2: I ask people to figure out the top five things
Speaker 2: they want in a city. Are whatever top five things
Speaker 2: you want or like. If you can't think of that,
Speaker 2: what are the top five things you love about the
Speaker 2: city you currently live in? Right? And then whatever five
Speaker 2: things you do not want in the city, whatever things
Speaker 2: you're like, these are, this is not at all I
Speaker 2: don't want traffic, I don't want smog, I don't want
Speaker 2: lots of people don't come to Mexico City. Those are
Speaker 2: on your list, right, Like whatever the things that you
Speaker 2: don't want, and then compare them to the cities on
Speaker 2: your list, like go through the list. A lot of
Speaker 2: times I'm speaking to someone who wanted to be in
Speaker 2: a very active city and when I asked he what
Speaker 2: city she was considering, it was all like mountain cities.
Speaker 2: And I was like, I feel like you're not talking
Speaker 2: to yourself, like there's no connection there. So going through
Speaker 2: and some of the criteria points to your question could
Speaker 2: be things like what is your budget? Right? If your
Speaker 2: budget is one thousand dollars a month, maybe you're probably
Speaker 2: not moving to Switzerland. So start maybe there with what
Speaker 2: the max range of your budget is. You can easily
Speaker 2: figure out cost of living. There are a lot of
Speaker 2: online calculators will help you with that. A lot of
Speaker 2: black women want to be in places where there are
Speaker 2: other black women. Is that something you care about. If so,
Speaker 2: you should be looking around to see where there are
Speaker 2: communities of black women. A lot of Black women care
Speaker 2: about dating when they go overseas. If you want to
Speaker 2: date a specific type of man, you have to go
Speaker 2: where that specific type of man is you can't only
Speaker 2: want to date men over six feet and number of
Speaker 2: countries you can't move to if that's what you want, right,
Speaker 2: If you only want to date black American men, I
Speaker 2: am so sorry, baby. You might need to stay in
Speaker 2: America like, because you know you need to go where
Speaker 2: the numbers are. If that is one of your priorities.
Speaker 2: I'm not saying it is. I'm not saying it should be,
Speaker 2: but if it is, you really have to look at
Speaker 2: what's available out there. So those are some of the
Speaker 2: criterias we see. Good schools are everything. Some people only
Speaker 2: want to go to English speaking countries or Spanish speaking
Speaker 2: countries or French speaking countries, so those are criterias. Well,
Speaker 2: how much language do you know compared to how much
Speaker 2: language do you need to know to get around? A
Speaker 2: lot of countries have cities that are heavy in tourists,
Speaker 2: so there may be a lot of English spoken, there
Speaker 2: are a lot of multiple languages spoken there and some
Speaker 2: that have less tourism. Maybe you don't have to be
Speaker 2: deep in your language in your books, on your duel lingo,
Speaker 2: on the ass learn and stuff, because there's just no
Speaker 2: other way to get around. So if you're like I
Speaker 2: can't learn anything new right now. Perhaps going to an
Speaker 2: area that has a lot of tourists would be better
Speaker 2: for you. On the other hand, some people are like,
Speaker 2: I don't want to see another American in my life.
Speaker 2: Like that is how some people approach it. Don't go
Speaker 2: to an area with a lot of tourism. I tell people,
Speaker 2: what's your dream life? What do you wake up, what
Speaker 2: do you do? Where do you shop? What do you eat?
Speaker 2: Think about those things about the life you want to live.
Speaker 2: Put it on paper, and the important criteria will be
Speaker 2: highlighted in your brain.
Speaker 1: So have there been any unexpected challenges for you living
Speaker 1: abroad that you typically caution other people about.
Speaker 2: From my perspective, I think the things that I see
Speaker 2: surprising people is how much the world is all alike, right,
Speaker 2: and on the other hand, how different some things can be. Right.
Speaker 2: So like in Mexico, for example, what it might say
Speaker 2: on a company's website, a store's website, what it might
Speaker 2: say on their door about their opening hours. Maybe that's
Speaker 2: a dream and a wish, Like what's that got to
Speaker 2: do with reality? The coffee shop says they open at seven,
Speaker 2: but no one's there at a thirty Oh well, just
Speaker 2: find the next one. A lot of Americans have expectations
Speaker 2: that things are going to go as they expect them
Speaker 2: to go. It's going to do what it says on
Speaker 2: the website. The documents I need for my residency are
Speaker 2: going to be exactly what it says on the website.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, no, that's not how that works. It's
Speaker 2: just whatever. You just learn to roll with the punches
Speaker 2: of whatever your dealt. You play the hand your delt
Speaker 2: every day here. The other part of it, though, is
Speaker 2: that I frequently hear people surprised that inflation is happening
Speaker 2: in other countries as well. I'm like, yes, baby, everything
Speaker 2: is more expensive everywhere. Well go right, And so there
Speaker 2: are some ways in which you might be trying to
Speaker 2: leave something in America, but it is a very global issue,
Speaker 2: and so it will be wherever you go, and there
Speaker 2: may be some things where if you can't let go
Speaker 2: of what you expect from where you're coming from, America, Canada,
Speaker 2: wherever that is, if you can't let go of your expectations,
Speaker 2: you're gonna get your feelings hurt because maybe that coffee
Speaker 2: shop is not going to open to like noon. I'm
Speaker 2: so sorry, Yeah, customer service does not exist the way
Speaker 2: we're used to it.
Speaker 3: It's just not it's not a thing. They don't do it.
Speaker 3: Anytime I order food, any order more than two or
Speaker 3: three things, one of the things is absolutely wrong. Right
Speaker 3: I'm go ordering fanta, orange, fantas or soda. I'm going
Speaker 3: to get a ginger ale. Okay, that's just how it is.
Speaker 1: That's wording.
Speaker 2: Y'a here is, complains manager.
Speaker 1: Then they don't do this, roll with it.
Speaker 3: Say that genderell from the next time you want a.
Speaker 2: Genderil and move on with your life.
Speaker 1: More from our conversation after the break. So we talked
Speaker 1: a little bit about sabbaticals. But I'm imagining some people
Speaker 1: are thinking, like, Okay, I might be able to do this.
Speaker 1: How would you talk with your employer about taking the
Speaker 1: extended time off to be able to travel or do
Speaker 1: something like this.
Speaker 2: I tell people to figure out where you want to go,
Speaker 2: figure out all your details, talk to your employer, but
Speaker 2: be ready to lead no matter what they say. Right, So,
Speaker 2: if you go to your employer and they say, no,
Speaker 2: a break, please, we were read to quit. Someone I
Speaker 2: interview a while ago said that she hated her job
Speaker 2: and she wasn't scared to leave because she knew when
Speaker 2: she came back she could always find another job she hated.
Speaker 2: She was like, what does it matter if I hate
Speaker 2: this job? What does it matter when I come back,
Speaker 2: I'll find another job I hate. Right. So I can
Speaker 2: probably count on one hand the number of people who
Speaker 2: I know who've gotten a no strings attached to about it.
Speaker 2: So when I know went into her employer, it was
Speaker 2: a city government and it was in her little manual.
Speaker 2: I always say, read your employeed manual. See what it allows.
Speaker 2: She went to employing manual, she went to ask for
Speaker 2: a believe and without her saying anything, they gave her
Speaker 2: a paid leave. And I was like, well, look at God,
Speaker 2: look at that magic. Right. But most people, we're talking
Speaker 2: about either quitting your job, taking FMLA, doing something else
Speaker 2: that gets you out. Some people may ask for sabbaticals
Speaker 2: that have a string attached, and then when they're ready,
Speaker 2: they cut the string, like, yes, but you have to
Speaker 2: come back and work for so and so long, and
Speaker 2: then eventually they're like, oh, I change on mind, I'm
Speaker 2: not coming back. Some people will take a leave because
Speaker 2: they'll continue to be covered by some health insurance. Right,
Speaker 2: they'll figure something out like an extended vacation, but getting
Speaker 2: employed outright, agree to even unpaid time off. It's almost impossible. Look,
Speaker 2: read your handbook, read your employee manual. Steve's sitting there.
Speaker 2: Ask anyway, because you never know what's going to happen.
Speaker 2: My client did not expect that to happen, and it
Speaker 2: did for her. Ask but be prepared to walk away
Speaker 2: if they say, now.
Speaker 3: That's right, particularly if you work for a non US
Speaker 3: based company. Right, if your company is a European company,
Speaker 3: you have probably a better chance of them having a
Speaker 3: system in place. But if you work for a US company, friends,
Speaker 3: you can quit, you can make your own sabbatical.
Speaker 2: Okay, you just have to do it yourself. Well, you
Speaker 2: don't want to be there anyway.
Speaker 1: So how would you advise people who are relocating to
Speaker 1: a new country to actually pour into the local culture
Speaker 1: and community as opposed to approaching it as like a
Speaker 1: colonist Western kind of like, Okay, I'm going to go
Speaker 1: here and take over kind of thing. What suggestions do
Speaker 1: you have?
Speaker 3: That's right? First, black women are only people who have
Speaker 3: this question, right. Black women are the only people who
Speaker 3: have this concern. I've never heard anyone ever ask this
Speaker 3: question except for black women. Right, how do I go
Speaker 3: there and not move like a colonizer? Okay, So because
Speaker 3: we're asking this question, we probably are already more equipped
Speaker 3: to be better residents of a new place. First, we
Speaker 3: make an effort to learn that language. You're going someplace,
Speaker 3: make an effort to learn a language. It is the
Speaker 3: easiest signal to people that you don't mean any harm,
Speaker 3: that you are there to incorporate yourself into that community
Speaker 3: and not stand out as a person who's just there
Speaker 3: to exploit, to pull from, and not to give back to.
Speaker 3: I think you also want to re evaluate our relationship
Speaker 3: with owning property. I think property ownership and land ownership
Speaker 3: in a new country is dicey. It can cause a
Speaker 3: lot of strife. And I think it's because it's just
Speaker 3: the American way. Even in the US, you're not seen
Speaker 3: as a full fledged adult until you own some property.
Speaker 3: In other countries, that's not a thing. That's not a thing.
Speaker 3: And when you come in as a foreigner and you
Speaker 3: come in and start buying a bland, people are automatically
Speaker 3: going to have feelings about that. So reevaluate your relationship
Speaker 3: with property ownership. It's okay to live in a place
Speaker 3: that you don't own, It's okay. People all over the
Speaker 3: world doing it. It works out for them. These are
Speaker 3: two signals that you can give to people that you're
Speaker 3: not there to exploit, that you're there to live inside
Speaker 3: of a community.
Speaker 2: So for me, I went out of my way to
Speaker 2: make sure that my landlord was local. The biggest chunk
Speaker 2: of money I pay each month goes to a woman
Speaker 2: who lives in the city and was born and raised
Speaker 2: in the city. It's not going to foreigners. But what
Speaker 2: I also see and I want people to be careful of,
Speaker 2: is I want black women to avoid whatever the gold
Speaker 2: rush is in that city. Mexico City became very popular
Speaker 2: for tourists in the past few years, and we saw
Speaker 2: a lot of Americans renting a place to then go
Speaker 2: rented on Airbnb to do that rental arbitrage and make money.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, you don't hear the calleiz or energy
Speaker 2: right there, Like what are you doing in this community? Like, yes,
Speaker 2: the local landlords are jacking at the rents, Yes they are,
Speaker 2: but you're not helping when you're adding to the issue.
Speaker 2: So property ownership, this is a very visible way in
Speaker 2: which people do that I see lots of places around
Speaker 2: here where the landlord is a foreigner, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: I don't like the way that feels. I don't like
Speaker 2: what it does to a housing market, et cetera. But
Speaker 2: Airbn being places isn't going to be the only gold
Speaker 2: rush you see in cities. When you get to your city,
Speaker 2: see what people are doing, like, oh, this is an
Speaker 2: easy way to make money. Whatever that is typically has
Speaker 2: the local residents under the it's heel, right, and so like,
Speaker 2: I would say avoid that whatever that looks like wherever
Speaker 2: you go.
Speaker 3: And then Rashida does a wonderful thing. She goes to
Speaker 3: pilates and by a local person in Spanish. Right, you
Speaker 3: just want to make sure you don't look like you've
Speaker 3: walled yourself off. It's totally possible to move to Costa Rica,
Speaker 3: move to Mexico, move to Grenada, South Africa, and wall
Speaker 3: yourself off and only live with Americans.
Speaker 2: You could do that.
Speaker 3: It's the wrong answer. Rashida takes pilates in Spanish with
Speaker 3: local people. We have a girlfriend who took in our class. Right,
Speaker 3: getting in community with people is going to make your
Speaker 3: life so much better, and it's also just going to
Speaker 3: help us, black women who are moving abroad be taken
Speaker 3: in a little bit more. We already have. Black women
Speaker 3: have a very good reputation around the world. People love
Speaker 3: black women as much as anti blackness is universal. People
Speaker 3: do really love black women. We're in our forties, and
Speaker 3: especially black women in their forties, fifties, sixties, seventies, We
Speaker 3: are loved. And so you can incorporate yourself into community
Speaker 3: in places, you can become a member of that society.
Speaker 3: You don't have to stay on the outskirts just because
Speaker 3: you weren't born there. And doing things in the local
Speaker 3: community is a straight shot today.
Speaker 2: I have a word of caution though. One of the
Speaker 2: things that I hear that we don't say, but it
Speaker 2: drives me like I get a little when I hear
Speaker 2: it is I hear people talking about, oh, you just
Speaker 2: go to a place, you need to live like a local.
Speaker 2: What I want to say is that that shrinks the
Speaker 2: local experience to something that can be a snapshot. I
Speaker 2: am a poor in the building I live in. My
Speaker 2: garage is filled with g wagons if people getting picked
Speaker 2: up by their personal drivers. But the idea of living
Speaker 2: like a local in Mexico is like poverty you live
Speaker 2: on three hundred dollars a month, You eat no the
Speaker 2: Mexican experience, but Thai experience. Whatever country you go to,
Speaker 2: the Columbia experience is as vast and diverse, most likely
Speaker 2: as the American experience. So I would avoid getting that
Speaker 2: you have to live like a local. In your brain,
Speaker 2: it mix a caricature out of what the local experience is,
Speaker 2: when in reality it's probably much much more diverse than
Speaker 2: you can even imagine.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for that. It's such incredible information
Speaker 1: you don't have shared. I have a ton of questions
Speaker 1: that I didn't even get a chance to ask you,
Speaker 1: But I'm sure you already have resources for all the
Speaker 1: questions I would have had anyway, So tell us where
Speaker 1: we can stay connected with you all. What is your
Speaker 1: website as well as any social media handles you'd like
Speaker 1: to share.
Speaker 3: Our joint business is called Exodus Summit. It is a
Speaker 3: wonderful community for black women who want to consider planning
Speaker 3: their sabbatical, their career break, their over abroad. We are
Speaker 3: on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook as Exodus Summit. Individually, Rashida and
Speaker 3: I run our own businesses. I am a house sitter
Speaker 3: and I am the creator of House Sitter School. On
Speaker 3: all of the platforms, I am vicarious, except for YouTube,
Speaker 3: where I am Stephanie Perry. My YouTube channel is a
Speaker 3: wonderful place for Black women who are into this kind
Speaker 3: of talk, who're into racing ease and really seriously doing
Speaker 3: as little as possible.
Speaker 2: I can be found at rashidadoo dot com. I am
Speaker 2: a career break coach. I've been a career break coach
Speaker 2: since twenty nineteen. I'm my career break. I love to
Speaker 2: help women find their joy wherever it may be around
Speaker 2: the world. I also help people retire early, move abroad,
Speaker 2: all of those things in that space. I run a
Speaker 2: group coaching program to help them do that. I also
Speaker 2: coach women one on one. I run a group coaching
Speaker 2: program to help them do that. I also coach women
Speaker 2: one on one. I have a YouTube channel. I'm at Rashida.
Speaker 2: You can find me on Instagram at Shida d and
Speaker 2: like I said, my website is rashidadow dot com. I
Speaker 2: want more Black women to experience the joy that I
Speaker 2: have found living this life, and so we've got a
Speaker 2: ton of resources between us. Between the Exodus Summit site,
Speaker 2: you can still get a replay to get to Exodus
Speaker 2: at exitusmon dot com so you can hear doctor Joy
Speaker 2: come talk to us. Yes, yes, we do the summit
Speaker 2: every fall. The Facebook group and the actual summit are
Speaker 2: places where black women can share their dreams while being
Speaker 2: fully supported, zero detractors. It is not a place where
Speaker 2: you're going to say I want to do something and
Speaker 2: someone's gonna be like, that's dumb. Why would you do that.
Speaker 2: Why wouldn't you go to this other place? Why it's
Speaker 2: not that place. This is a place where black women
Speaker 2: say I want to move to New Zealand and someone's like, yes,
Speaker 2: I know somebody news Like we have Solilar community in
Speaker 2: New Zealand who helps people move to New Zealand. Right,
Speaker 2: they're there. They're helpful. They understand that we don't all
Speaker 2: want the same thing. We're not in competition with each other. Right.
Speaker 2: Seeing my sister win helps me win, right, It helps
Speaker 2: me know that this is possible. This dephinitely helps me
Speaker 2: see what's possible in my life. Right, and then she
Speaker 2: bosses me around and makes me do stuff. But that's
Speaker 2: just how it goes put you have a business partner.
Speaker 2: But yeah, you have to see all these other women
Speaker 2: and know that if they can do it, you can
Speaker 2: do it too, And so I just really recommend people
Speaker 2: join our community. You can find us at exodusummit dot
Speaker 2: com slash community that will take you directly to the
Speaker 2: Facebook group. Annie. We're just hoping that other women will see,
Speaker 2: maybe not today, see this in their future, but be curious.
Speaker 2: If you're curious, right, come join us.
Speaker 3: Doctor Joy already agreed that I was the peacemaker, so clearly,
Speaker 3: clearly I'm not the lost. I'm the peacemaker in this
Speaker 3: real in this business.
Speaker 2: We bring it up pole stuff.
Speaker 1: I love that, I love that beautiful sister and heels
Speaker 1: tie in. Thank you so much for that. We will
Speaker 1: be sure to include all of those links and resources
Speaker 1: in our show notes. Thank y'all again for spending some
Speaker 1: time with us today.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: I'm so glad Rashid and Stephan you were able to
Speaker 1: join me for this conversation. To learn more about them
Speaker 1: and their work, be sure to visit the show notes
Speaker 1: at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com slash Session three four seven,
Speaker 1: and don't forget to text two of your girls right
Speaker 1: now and tell them to check out the episode if
Speaker 1: you're looking for a therapist in your area. Check out
Speaker 1: our therapist directory at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com slash
Speaker 1: directory And if you want to continue digging into this
Speaker 1: topic or just be in community with other sisters, come
Speaker 1: on over and join us in the Sister Circle. It's
Speaker 1: our cozy corner of the Internet designed just for black women.
Speaker 1: You can join us at community dot Therapy for Blackgirls
Speaker 1: dot com. This episode was produced by Frida Lucas, Elise Ellis,
Speaker 1: and Zaria Taylor. Editing was done by Dennison Bradford. Thank
Speaker 1: y'all so much for joining me again this week. I
Speaker 1: look forward to continuing this conversation with you all real soon.
Speaker 1: Take good care.
Speaker 2: What's