Speaker 1: Get an ice pack ready, because we're all about to
Speaker 1: get punched in the face with our Hero of the
Speaker 1: Week Jeff's Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning. In today's
Speaker 1: hero is a convenience store owner from Tacoma, Washington named
Speaker 1: Naif Quatsman. He was working behind the cash register last
Speaker 1: week when at around eight pm, a guy came up
Speaker 1: to the counter, held up a knife and said, listen,
Speaker 1: this is a hold up.
Speaker 2: Oh man, this video is unbelievable.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I've seen it.
Speaker 4: It went viral.
Speaker 1: He demanded all the money from the cash register if
Speaker 1: you didn't see it, but Naif didn't panic. Instead, he
Speaker 1: calmly says, that's not a knife. This is a knife
Speaker 1: and pulls out a giant machete.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, it's huge.
Speaker 4: It's like probably three feet long, just laying next to
Speaker 4: the register.
Speaker 1: So Naif starts waving the machete at the robber and
Speaker 1: the thief stumbles backwards. Then reaches into his backpack and
Speaker 1: pulls out a Samurai sword.
Speaker 2: Wait, who's got throwing stars?
Speaker 4: Just kidding?
Speaker 1: Yeah, the suspect with the machete an He waited for
Speaker 1: the police to arrive, but it would have been funny
Speaker 1: if they had gone back and forth, I got a grenade.
Speaker 2: Just a full cannon comes out of the back.
Speaker 1: So there's a longer story to this. Basically, the robber
Speaker 1: escapes because NIAF's wife gets in the middle of it,
Speaker 1: ends up getting caught by the authority.
Speaker 4: Like she interrupted this, she did she felt bad for
Speaker 4: the robber.
Speaker 1: Yeah, seriously, she was like, I'm worried that he's gonna
Speaker 1: get hurt, so she steps in front. Robber gets away,
Speaker 1: ends up getting caught by the authorities, is brought to jail.
Speaker 4: He gets released the.
Speaker 1: Same day, goes back to the convenience store to threaten Naif,
Speaker 1: and at that point Naif's son and his friends tackle
Speaker 1: him and keep him in the market till the cops
Speaker 1: arrive and arrest him.
Speaker 3: Again.
Speaker 1: Guys, I keep telling you, yeah, what an idiot. His
Speaker 1: son and his son's friends are Hero of the Week honors,
Speaker 1: just edging out our own digital Jake for the shot
Speaker 1: collar question of the day.
Speaker 4: Where's your machete? Jake?
Speaker 3: I lost to the quad knife Guys again, you.
Speaker 1: Know it's okay, just give us some trivia and we'll
Speaker 1: forgive you.
Speaker 3: Well, they say, the quickest way to instantly double your
Speaker 3: money is to rob a bank.
Speaker 2: Okay where we were just at.
Speaker 3: However, I have checked with several lawyers and most of
Speaker 3: them told me it's not legal. Probably don't attempt that.
Speaker 3: If you were thinking about the next fastest way to
Speaker 3: increase your wealth is to buy a professional sports team.
Speaker 3: Michael Jordan did it. Michael B. Jordan did it. Now
Speaker 3: we're just waiting on Brooks husband. Michael, He'll jump into
Speaker 3: the owner. He would love that and to help inspire
Speaker 3: Michael Fox. Today, you're gonna need to name the top
Speaker 3: twenty most valuable sports teams on Earth in a substantial
Speaker 3: financial edition of Polenti of twenty Oh this is NU.
Speaker 3: We're gonna start with the closest thing we have to
Speaker 3: a real athlete on the show. I say that with quotes.
Speaker 3: That's Alexis. I mean I immediately go to Messi and
Speaker 3: who he plays for. Yeah, I know the.
Speaker 2: Miami, but I don't if it'd be like old like
Speaker 2: PSG or Barcelona.
Speaker 3: Like that one of his other ones. That's where I'm
Speaker 3: torn on which it would be. But PSG has These are.
Speaker 4: Soccer teams that you're talking. Yeah, you're in the whole world.
Speaker 3: I feel like they've got to be on there.
Speaker 4: You're absolutely on pot.
Speaker 3: I'll go like PSG Jake, Paris and Germaine is not
Speaker 3: in the top twenty. It's around twenty eight or twenty nine.
Speaker 3: He does. But there's a lot of NFL teams, a
Speaker 3: couple soccer, couple.
Speaker 1: Basketball, no cricket teams on there.
Speaker 3: We'll see Joff Okay, Brook Europe next, think of think
Speaker 3: of large markets. Yeah, he's with a lot of history.
Speaker 2: Okay, I am gonna go really rabid fan base. We're
Speaker 2: gonna say Dallas Cowboys.
Speaker 3: Oh, Dallas Cowboys. Brook their number one on my list,
Speaker 3: number nine billion dollars of last time.
Speaker 2: We can tell you, I'm gonna need that silver safe.
Speaker 3: Good here, great use of it. Let's go to Jeffrey.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take inspiration from Brook on this because she's
Speaker 1: always going online and calling herself a proud Patriot, always.
Speaker 3: Like a capital PA.
Speaker 1: I assume I assume that she's talking about the football team. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so let me show me the New England Patriots.
Speaker 3: The New England Patriots number four on my last case.
Speaker 4: Brook, keep cheering them.
Speaker 3: Mind, all those Super bowls are worth of value. There
Speaker 3: weren't seven billion dollars Wow, Jose, biggest sports fan in
Speaker 3: the room, You're up next. I'm gonna play it safe
Speaker 3: and say the New York Yankees. New York Yankees number
Speaker 3: two on my list, seven point one billion dollars.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm gonna go back to football, and I think
Speaker 2: the only team that's like owned by the fans, We're
Speaker 2: gonna say the Green Bay Packers.
Speaker 3: The Green Bay Packers are in the thirties. No, they're
Speaker 3: not in the top twenty.
Speaker 2: The fans are not doing a good job making that
Speaker 2: much terrible.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Brook, Yeah, you're silver saved though, so you're still
Speaker 3: in it. Okay, back to Jeffrey.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's go with a team that was literally named
Speaker 1: after rich people digging up gold.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna go with the.
Speaker 3: San Francisco for the forty nine Ers are number fourteen
Speaker 3: on my list, six billion dollars worth of worth.
Speaker 2: I like, how you picture forty nine ers being rich
Speaker 2: people digging up the suit.
Speaker 3: Yeah, their masters too.
Speaker 4: They took off their monocle so they wouldn't get dirt on.
Speaker 4: They were practical, and I put my top hatch back on.
Speaker 4: Read a history book.
Speaker 3: You'll see pose three, five, six, seven. Most of the
Speaker 3: boards still there for you.
Speaker 4: Ja, gimme Dodgers.
Speaker 3: The Los Angeles Dodgers did not make the top twenty.
Speaker 4: Wow does that mean I just win? No, I'm still
Speaker 4: in it, bro.
Speaker 2: Oh dang it.
Speaker 3: Here in the twenties, they're in between twenty and thirty
Speaker 3: on there. Yes, the lowest number on my list is
Speaker 3: five point two billion. The Dodgers are just under five
Speaker 3: billion dollars.
Speaker 4: Like mind blowing?
Speaker 3: Brook?
Speaker 2: Oh man, I mean I feel like we're leaving out
Speaker 2: hockey right now.
Speaker 3: I don't know, I don't I would, I would read hockey.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, wonting is like a Knick shirt just because
Speaker 2: it's cute.
Speaker 3: There.
Speaker 2: No, I think with NBA before any of them, you
Speaker 2: have to go La Lakers.
Speaker 3: Yeap, Los Angeles Lakers number fifteen on the list. Zive
Speaker 3: point nine billion dollars. Jeffrey, Well, now, let's see.
Speaker 1: I'm just thinking the biggest cities have the biggest markets
Speaker 1: and the most money to put towards their team. So
Speaker 1: I'm going Chicago.
Speaker 4: Give me the Bears.
Speaker 3: The Bears. The Bears number seven on the list, six
Speaker 3: point three billion dollars. The NFL runs everything back to Brook.
Speaker 2: A god, Okay, if we're gonna do big cities again.
Speaker 2: How about Miami Heat.
Speaker 3: The Miami Heats, it did not make the top twenties,
Speaker 3: So proud. That means that Jeffrey is our winner today.
Speaker 3: Here's some of the teams you guys missed a new
Speaker 3: stadium recently. The Golden State Warriors were number three at
Speaker 3: seven billion. Los Angeles Rams another new stadium six point
Speaker 3: nine billion. The New York Giants were number six at
Speaker 3: six point eight the Las Vegas Raiders, the Knicks, the Jets.
Speaker 3: Real Madrid was the highest ranked soccer teams. The Commanders
Speaker 3: recently sold for six point five billion. Manchester United, the
Speaker 3: Philadelphia Eagles, Miami Dolphins made the list. Brook not off
Speaker 3: the Heat, Barcelona, the Houston Texas. Number twenty was Liverpool,
Speaker 3: the soccer team that was plenty of twenty.
Speaker 1: Since I lasted the longest, I'm gonna choose who get
Speaker 1: shot today.
Speaker 4: You're gonna be singing crazy.
Speaker 1: My Narls Barkley and I have to give it to
Speaker 1: the woman who besmirched the good name of proud forty
Speaker 1: nine ers everywhere Hoop Fox.
Speaker 3: I'll remember, I'll remember when I lost my.
Speaker 4: You're gonna do a phone tap in just a few
Speaker 4: minutes
Speaker 2: Freaking Jeffrey in the morning,