Speaker 1: Your execution on the Donkey of the day is something
Speaker 1: to do.
Speaker 2: Hold give you to read.
Speaker 1: He gave me Donkey of the day, and I deserve that.
Speaker 1: You need to know what you need to tell them.
Speaker 1: I am you have the voice.
Speaker 3: Tell them it's time for Donkey of the day.
Speaker 4: It's a read, but you're so good at it, trying
Speaker 4: to be a fake as Charlamagne.
Speaker 1: You know what you wants, Charlamage, Yeah, Salomame.
Speaker 2: Who do you give a dunky of the day? Toun
Speaker 2: now Donkey of to day for Tuesday, February twenty seventh,
Speaker 2: sexty Red goes to a sixty year old Texas man
Speaker 2: named Mitchell vest.
Speaker 1: No need to waste any time here today, folks.
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna read you the headline from the New
Speaker 2: York Post this morning.
Speaker 1: The headline reads.
Speaker 2: Kilt wearing shoppers seen stuffing antets up his button and
Speaker 2: then placing him back on the shelves.
Speaker 1: Let's go to Fox twenty six Houston for the report. Police.
Speaker 4: Thursday, February eighth was a normal day at this Spring
Speaker 4: antique store until cameras caught the moment a customer and
Speaker 4: a kilt took a liking to certain items on the shelf.
Speaker 2: I had to watch it a couple of times just
Speaker 2: to be sure that I knew what I.
Speaker 4: Was looking at. Susan Golden has managed the eighty five
Speaker 4: thousand square foot shop for twenty years. Cameras show a
Speaker 4: man in a tank top and kilt grab a kitchen
Speaker 4: fork or spoon from a display. He then walks over
Speaker 4: to the other side. His hand stays behind him for
Speaker 4: a while. He's then seen placing the item back on
Speaker 4: the shelf.
Speaker 1: He spent want to put them back, that he wasn't
Speaker 1: trying to steal them, he was doing other things with them.
Speaker 4: In another section, a closer look, he grabs another item,
Speaker 4: shoves it underneath the kilt, and puts it back.
Speaker 1: He needs to be caught and stopped.
Speaker 2: Mitchell Vess was stuffing antiques up his butthole and then
Speaker 2: placing them back on the shelves. I got so many questions,
Speaker 2: and I don't know which one to ask first, because
Speaker 2: I need to know how big were these antique items. Oh,
Speaker 2: and I need to know how big was his buttole Okay,
Speaker 2: based on the side of the antiques, I can determine
Speaker 2: the measurements of his anus, all right, This man is
Speaker 2: a whole freak ladies in gettlement, and this is what
Speaker 2: happens when you can't shame people.
Speaker 1: All right.
Speaker 2: I feel like I've told you this before, but you
Speaker 2: have to let people have romantic rectum rendezvous if that's
Speaker 2: what they want. Okay, y'all have demonized butt play, and
Speaker 2: I don't think that's fair for those amongst us who
Speaker 2: enjoy booty exploration. If you want to be Christopher columb
Speaker 2: but you have that right and you shouldn't be shamed
Speaker 2: for it.
Speaker 1: Okay. That doesn't mean, though.
Speaker 2: You can make poor choices just because you don't have
Speaker 2: a safe space to do prostate stimulation, all right, Just
Speaker 2: because you aren't comfortable popping the old gristle ring doesn't
Speaker 2: give you the right to go commit a crime like this. Okay,
Speaker 2: you were putting antique items back on the shelf after
Speaker 2: giving them the scenic tore through Brown Town disgusting. Okay,
Speaker 2: the good old poop hole loophole. Somebody out there touched
Speaker 2: all your butt buggets just because you nasty, all right.
Speaker 1: This is also why.
Speaker 2: We have to lower inflation, okay, because clearly Mitchell couldn't
Speaker 2: afford anta plucks right now, this morning, a Google dial
Speaker 2: those for men, just to see the price of them. Okay,
Speaker 2: twenty five ninety one for a jack duo mail anal dildo.
Speaker 1: Okay, they got a coat male anal vibrator for third.
Speaker 2: He won fifty nine, and poor Mitch can affords either
Speaker 2: one of them. So instead he's in the antique shop
Speaker 2: sticking talking pee wee herman dolls up his heini.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, I don't know what's happening.
Speaker 2: Okay, this man is in a kilt sticking antiques up
Speaker 2: his anus.
Speaker 1: Okay, he is rowdy roddy fudgepacker. Now we have a.
Speaker 2: List of things he used to uh, he used to
Speaker 2: do the chocolate mushroom slap.
Speaker 1: These are actual things that they said he put in
Speaker 1: his butt.
Speaker 2: A makeup brush okay, a restoration hardware piece.
Speaker 1: I don't even know what that is.
Speaker 2: Okay, an antique bottle opener, and a tobacco tin can.
Speaker 1: What the hell is that?
Speaker 2: What tobacco tint can?
Speaker 1: These things ain't small items.
Speaker 2: That's the stuff that you spit the tobacco.
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ.
Speaker 2: I'm reading the story, and it says the male was
Speaker 2: then observed removing the items and placing them back on shelves.
Speaker 2: If you cavity search this man, there is no telling
Speaker 2: what you will find.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: That man has a pawn shop located right on Prostate Drive.
Speaker 1: You just gotta go down Hershey Highway and make a left. Okay.
Speaker 2: And he got everything you're looking for and probably some
Speaker 2: things you not. Now?
Speaker 1: Did you not?
Speaker 2: That the name of an antique store, and I'm not
Speaker 2: making this up was the Curiosity Shop.
Speaker 1: I cannot make this kind of stuff up.
Speaker 2: People, I'm not that good. Google the store. You'll see
Speaker 2: it yourself. He went to the Curiosity Shop, had a
Speaker 2: couple of backdoor gasms, and in the complaint, the store
Speaker 2: owner said it had to throw away the items that
Speaker 2: were used in this incident due to the items being
Speaker 2: smothered and faces smothered.
Speaker 1: And dangle gravy.
Speaker 2: Oh, he's been arrested for criminal mischief and he's probably
Speaker 2: disappointed because he won't be in there long enough to get.
Speaker 1: His starfish stretched.
Speaker 2: Please give Mitchell Vess the sweet sounds of the Hamiltons.
Speaker 3: Oh the day, yeah, oh the day year.
Speaker 1: Such a strange, delightful world we live in. Is is
Speaker 1: he okay? Like? Mentally?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 1: Is it something you say sixty years old. He got
Speaker 1: him said, the man has kinks. Man, okay, it.
Speaker 2: Literally could be something wrong.
Speaker 1: It has to be something wrong with sixty years old?
Speaker 1: What what race is here? Play game? Yes, let's play
Speaker 1: a game of yes what racy?
Speaker 4: Alright?
Speaker 2: Mitchell Vest, sixty years old from Texas was in a
Speaker 2: store called the Curiosity Shop, which is an antique store,
Speaker 2: wearing a kilt and he was sticking things up his button.
Speaker 2: Yess what racey is?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 1: What's his name? Mitchell Vest?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, why you say why he's wearing kute? That's
Speaker 1: what I was is Jade Smith. But you know he
Speaker 1: not really black either, man, Shut up, tj envy Mitchell Vest.
Speaker 2: Yes, Mitchell Vest, sixty years old from Texas was wearing
Speaker 2: a kilt in an antique store called the Curiosity Shop, and.
Speaker 1: He was caught sticking things up his butt. Gus, what racist?
Speaker 1: I'm going white get kill. I can see why y'all
Speaker 1: would say that it's the kilt. I can see why y'all. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like and y'all are absolutely correct.
Speaker 2: He is big white, big, big capital right white.
Speaker 1: Right all right? He brought the Trump sneakers off. He
Speaker 1: made for twenty two thousand dollars white.
Speaker 2: Okay, right, in salute to the president of the Fat
Speaker 2: Lives Matter Committee, Big Mac.
Speaker 1: Big Massive.
Speaker 2: Imagine beying an antique from that shop and sniffing it
Speaker 2: and being like the eighties smell kind of Then he
Speaker 2: said the dude, the dude sold all these items on
Speaker 2: shark Tank.
Speaker 1: Oh no, stupid, this guy, he's just from the back.
Speaker 1: Texted me, okay, all right, well, thank you for that.
Speaker 1: Donkey Today.
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Speaker 2: you get the horns.
Speaker 1: Wake that ass up in the morning. The Breakfast Club