Speaker 1: What do you call a book club that's been stuck
Speaker 1: on the same book for years? Church?
Speaker 2: Did you hear about the breakfast cereal shape? Like a
Speaker 2: famous detective novel series, They're called Agatha Crispi's.
Speaker 1: I'm reading a book about anti gravity. It's impossible to
Speaker 1: put down.
Speaker 2: I once swallowed a book of synonyms. It's gave me
Speaker 2: the sores throat I've ever had.
Speaker 1: I'm writing a horror book in Brielle. Something bad is
Speaker 1: going to happen. I can feel it.
Speaker 2: The book I ordered about clocks finally came in. It's
Speaker 2: about time. I've just finished writing a book on sneaks.
Speaker 2: It would have been much easier if I'd just written
Speaker 2: in on paper. I wrote a book on how to
Speaker 2: fall down the stairs. It's a step by step guide.
Speaker 1: I got the book Intinate Forums for Dummies from a friend,
Speaker 1: but I need to take it back because I already
Speaker 1: read it.
Speaker 2: My wife dumped me due to my obsession with comic book.
Speaker 2: She said, I have too many issues.
Speaker 1: I'm writing a book on reverse psychology. Please don't buy it.
Speaker 1: The laughter isn't over. We'll be back after this brief break.
Speaker 2: We started a band and called it Books. So no
Speaker 2: one can judge us by our covers.
Speaker 1: A book just fell on my head. I've only got
Speaker 1: my shelf to blame.
Speaker 2: I found the first four Harry Potter books to be
Speaker 2: quite lighthearted. The fifth one was dead serious.
Speaker 1: I read a book about World War II that was
Speaker 1: only four pages long. It was a bridge too far.
Speaker 2: After watching me read War and Peace, my son asked me, Dad,
Speaker 2: why is the book so thick. Well, it's a long story.
Speaker 1: My wife said, why don't you write a book instead
Speaker 1: of your stupid word play jokes. I said, that's a
Speaker 1: novel idea.
Speaker 2: I heard Optimus Prime as writing a book. It's an autobotography.
Speaker 1: What is a blind person's least favorite book? A cheese greeter.
Speaker 2: I went to the library looking for a book about
Speaker 2: Pavlov's dog in Schrodinger's Cat. The librarian said it rang
Speaker 2: a bell, but she wasn't sure if it was there
Speaker 2: or not.
Speaker 1: Tablets were replaced by scrolls. Scrolls were replaced by books.
Speaker 1: Now we scroll through books on tablets.
Speaker 2: I'm writing a book on hurricanes. It's only a draft
Speaker 2: so far.
Speaker 1: I fell off a book once. It's a long story.
Speaker 2: I went into the local library and asked if they
Speaker 2: had any books on the Titanic. Oh, yes, quite a few.
Speaker 2: The librarian said, sorry to hear that, I said, laughing,
Speaker 2: they'll all be ruined by now.
Speaker 1: I recently launched a series of books targeted at young adults.
Speaker 1: Six of them are in hospital now, with three in
Speaker 1: intensive care.
Speaker 2: I used to read comic books, but I stopped. They're
Speaker 2: far too graphic.
Speaker 1: Probably one of the deepest books you will ever read,
Speaker 1: twenty thousand Leagues under the Sea.
Speaker 2: I was offered a job assembling printed pages into books.
Speaker 2: A week later, they tried to rescind the offer. I
Speaker 2: told them it was a binding agreement.
Speaker 1: I asked the librarian where books about oil were located.
Speaker 1: She said, try the non friction section.
Speaker 2: I ordered a book on puns. I didn't get it.
Speaker 1: Books about gardening are getting old. They've really grown on me.
Speaker 2: Did you know jar Jar Binks has a brother who
Speaker 2: is a famous author, George Orwell.
Speaker 1: Did you hear about the author who used a period
Speaker 1: after every word? He got sentenced two dith What was.
Speaker 2: The author missing for his next great book? A novel idea?
Speaker 1: Did you know that the author, Joe Hill, is Stephen
Speaker 1: King's son. He was worried no one would take him
Speaker 1: seriously when he was Joe King.
Speaker 2: What is a Citrus's favorite author? Snicket?
Speaker 1: Authors never laugh at my jokes. They take everything literary.
Speaker 2: Why would an earthworm be a horrible author because of
Speaker 2: the sheer amount of plot holes he makes?
Speaker 1: What does the talkative, schizophrenic author say, now we're Tolkien?
Speaker 2: Why do dogs make terrible authors? They can never make
Speaker 2: it past the rough draft.
Speaker 1: Did you hear about the author who died in a
Speaker 1: mountaineering accident before he could finish his book. They say
Speaker 1: his name was Cliffhanger.
Speaker 2: Hear about the author in jail? They put him in
Speaker 2: the writer's block, couldn't get past his first sentence.
Speaker 1: What is the name of the author who writes children's
Speaker 1: books about mythology? Doctor Zeus?
Speaker 2: What would you call Harry Potter's author if she got
Speaker 2: shot in the back of her head?
Speaker 1: Jfk Rowling just finished a beautiful novel in Briille, Such
Speaker 1: a touching story.
Speaker 2: Did you hear about the guy who wrote a novel
Speaker 2: based on prisoners he met in jail? It had its
Speaker 2: pros and cons.
Speaker 1: I accidentally put corn starch in my novel, The plot Dicken.
Speaker 2: I won first prize for my novel called Wasting Away.
Speaker 2: I got a trophy.
Speaker 1: I tried writing a novel about the Big Bang. The
Speaker 1: epilogue is taking forever to finish.
Speaker 2: I finished writing about half of my novel. It's for
Speaker 2: the semi literate market.
Speaker 1: I wrote a novel about all the skeletons in the
Speaker 1: graveyard coming to life from Halloween. At least that's the
Speaker 1: bare bones of it.
Speaker 2: Only one of Dickens's novel has a twist in the end.
Speaker 1: I write a novel about donuts. The story had a
Speaker 1: lot of holes.
Speaker 2: Why was the draft manuscript of a crime novel afraid
Speaker 2: of being completed? It did not want to be booked.
Speaker 1: Did they make a novelization of the room because everyone
Speaker 1: keeps telling me to read it?
Speaker 2: What kind of dinosaur writes romance novels? A brondy soaurus.
Speaker 1: While getting dressed, I noticed my wife had cut off
Speaker 1: the button of the leg hymn from my jeans and
Speaker 1: was using it to save the pages of her novels.
Speaker 1: That was a turn up for the books.
Speaker 2: What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature?
Speaker 2: Tequill a mockingbird.
Speaker 1: I like my poste like I like my medieval Italian literature.
Speaker 1: All Dante.
Speaker 2: Years ago, I had a job translating pre classical Greek
Speaker 2: literature into Braille. It feels like ancient history.
Speaker 1: I saw my kid reading Fahrenheit four five one. I
Speaker 1: asked him, how do you like it? He' said this
Speaker 1: book is lit.
Speaker 2: I just got a new job at a prison library.
Speaker 2: It has its pros and cons.
Speaker 1: Why couldn't the couple get married at the library because
Speaker 1: it was all booked up.
Speaker 2: I went to the library and asked for the self
Speaker 2: help section. They said if they told me, it would
Speaker 2: defeat the purpose.
Speaker 1: Why is the library the tallest building in town? It
Speaker 1: has the moos stories?
Speaker 2: What kind of dogs are allowed in the library? Hush puppies?
Speaker 1: What does the rom do at a library? It reads
Speaker 1: only memories.
Speaker 2: A man was arrested for robbing a library. They threw
Speaker 2: the book at him.
Speaker 1: My dad was a boxer that trained at the library.
Speaker 1: He really hit the books.
Speaker 2: While browsing the bookshop, I stuck a sheet of A
Speaker 2: four paper to my wife's spine. She said she wanted
Speaker 2: a paperback for her birthday. I'm Bob Jeffy.
Speaker 1: And I'm Montgomery Jones, and.
Speaker 2: That's the story. Dad jokes. For National Book Day We're
Speaker 2: on a mission to spread the laughs and groans far
Speaker 2: and wide, so please do us a favor and share
Speaker 2: just one of these jokes with your family and friends today.
Speaker 1: Thanks. Looking for more Dad joke humor to share, then
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Speaker 1: roundup of the best Dad Joe means and humor for
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Speaker 1: Jokes Podcast is produced by Classic Studios. See the show
Speaker 1: notes page for social media links and Joe credits. This
Speaker 1: show was recorded in front of a canned studio audience.