Speaker 1: You don't know me our confession I can't take back
Speaker 1: earl armst Mouse.
Speaker 2: Speaker text to seventy five nine two says my girlfriend
Speaker 2: doesn't know this, but whenever she gets mad at me,
Speaker 2: I secretly turn up the ac in our part so
Speaker 2: she gets cold and we have to cuddle it at night.
Speaker 2: That is evil, nothing like a little thermostat warfare. But
Speaker 2: if you're feeling a chill from the ice cold secret
Speaker 2: that you've been holding tight to your chest, we can
Speaker 2: spoon you back to warmth and comfort right here on
Speaker 2: the mass speaker.
Speaker 3: Will you even warm my feet up?
Speaker 4: My feet are always so cold.
Speaker 3: Not fun of you.
Speaker 2: We're supposed to be the source of warm firm listeners
Speaker 2: like today's caller who's chosen to go by Tim today.
Speaker 2: So Tim, welcome to our warm healing embrace.
Speaker 5: Thank you.
Speaker 4: Apparently I need to apologize for my cold feet. I
Speaker 4: didn't realize that we were all in this together, Jeff.
Speaker 2: Okay, Tim, you want to be big spooner little spoon in.
Speaker 5: This situation, I'll take the big spoon, all right.
Speaker 1: All right, that's what I was.
Speaker 2: Hoping you would, says, just watching everyone else spoon. Okay,
Speaker 2: it's fun to watch though, But tim voice changer is on.
Speaker 2: You are the mass speaker. Whenever you're ready, let's hear
Speaker 2: your confession.
Speaker 6: Uh, there's a work one okay, co worker in my
Speaker 6: company who everybody in our work group loki hats.
Speaker 1: Oh oh okay, is there a reason for that?
Speaker 6: He's a corporate kissing okay everything he's like, yeah, we
Speaker 6: get it.
Speaker 1: He's an overachiever, too good of a worker.
Speaker 5: No, he's just The thing is, he doesn't do any work.
Speaker 5: He doesn't.
Speaker 6: He never gets any of it done, so nobody even
Speaker 6: knows how he got hired.
Speaker 4: Okay, I see, he doesn't do work and he slides,
Speaker 4: you know. But also he figured it out system.
Speaker 1: That's why you hate him, because you want to be here.
Speaker 3: Because everybody has to pick up the slack.
Speaker 4: So did you guys do work, get together and do
Speaker 4: something to get him back.
Speaker 6: I did something on my own, because, like you said it,
Speaker 6: he banged out of work for an entire week once
Speaker 6: because he said he slept weird on a plane and
Speaker 6: his neck hurt. Oh no, he said he couldn't even
Speaker 6: do a zoom meeting because it would hurt him too
Speaker 6: much to hold his head up for the camera.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, why do I feel like he was still
Speaker 4: laying on a beach somewhere.
Speaker 2: You're right, we do all have a worker that we
Speaker 2: know somewhere in our company that's like that.
Speaker 6: Yeah. So I was, you know, really po then and
Speaker 6: I couldn't let it go. And then I'm driving home
Speaker 6: one day and up ahead I see him walking along
Speaker 6: the sidewalk.
Speaker 3: Please don't tell me you hit.
Speaker 1: Well, hold on if you look injured.
Speaker 6: Well, I knew it was him because he's got his
Speaker 6: bald spot and he walks funny.
Speaker 3: Okay, making a way of them.
Speaker 1: This is like a roast, now, Jesus, It's.
Speaker 5: Just that's how watch. This guy drives me nuts.
Speaker 1: You can see his bald spot from a mile away
Speaker 1: with this dumb little walk. I get that. Stand that guy,
Speaker 1: what do you do?
Speaker 6: It was raining and there was a giant puddle on
Speaker 6: the road. I said, God does not send you an
Speaker 6: opportunity like this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was a sign from above, and.
Speaker 6: I gunned it and I drove right through the puddle.
Speaker 6: I sent a tidal wave, like a tsunami all over
Speaker 6: this pile.
Speaker 2: I'm satisfied a lot of people like have that thought
Speaker 2: run through their mind. But not a lot of people
Speaker 2: are actually willing to go.
Speaker 1: Through with you.
Speaker 3: Dude, did you feel like instant regret? No?
Speaker 5: I was.
Speaker 6: I was ready to celebrate everything. And then I check
Speaker 6: my mirror to see how bad he looks. I realize
Speaker 6: he was pushing a stroller.
Speaker 1: Oh god, oh.
Speaker 3: You soaked a baby?
Speaker 5: I did I had? That wasn't my intention, I bet.
Speaker 1: I meant to be fair.
Speaker 2: That baby was probably a jerk to all the other
Speaker 2: babies at his daycare too, Je.
Speaker 1: D walk. Oh that sucks, dude, that's bad karmas. So
Speaker 1: now you feel like crapa.
Speaker 5: Obviously I felt.
Speaker 6: Man, he came in to work the next day and
Speaker 6: he's telling everybody about it.
Speaker 3: You didn't pull over and try to help him or anything.
Speaker 3: Did you know you're gonna know what car?
Speaker 4: But you could just say, oh my god, that was
Speaker 4: a total accident, you know, like that happened.
Speaker 1: That was not an accident.
Speaker 2: Brook hit a baby stroller with her car one time.
Speaker 2: Brook definitely did not stop and be like I'm sorry,
Speaker 2: She laughed window.
Speaker 4: I barely bumped it because I took my foot off
Speaker 4: the break and it was in front of the car.
Speaker 3: That's different.
Speaker 1: So Tim, you don't have to feel bad about what
Speaker 1: she did. There both troll baby, you said.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 6: So the next day he comes in and he starts
Speaker 6: telling everybody, you know, some random guy splashed him while
Speaker 6: he was babysitting his nephew.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 5: Him and the kid.
Speaker 6: And of course all the ladies in the office are like, oh,
Speaker 6: the poor baby. Yeah, And you know, now they're all
Speaker 6: talking about their kids and how's the baby doing.
Speaker 5: Did the baby get sick?
Speaker 6: And now they're all upset about this baby, and you
Speaker 6: have to pretend like you're upset too, like, oh, no,
Speaker 6: I can't believe some horrible person would do One guy trying.
Speaker 2: To make sense of it, like, I don't know, sometimes
Speaker 2: babies need a good splash, or sometimes those puddles just
Speaker 2: come out of nowhere?
Speaker 3: Oh my god, did they?
Speaker 4: Did he ever realize that it was your car?
Speaker 5: No? No, no, no, I was so nervous. I'd started
Speaker 5: driving my girlfriend's car to work.
Speaker 3: Oh how long ago was this?
Speaker 5: Probably about four months?
Speaker 4: Oh my, is he more liked at the office now
Speaker 4: that people have some empathy for him.
Speaker 6: It lasted a week or so then everybody was back
Speaker 6: to now when this guy's a complete kiss Okay.
Speaker 2: Suddenly he's getting splashed by cars every single week.
Speaker 1: There he goes so messed up.
Speaker 5: But I do still feel guilty about it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I bet you know, just because of the kid,
Speaker 4: you shouldn't do it. You should just leave jerks alone. They'll,
Speaker 4: you know, do themselves in eventually.
Speaker 1: If you're gonna splash them with a puddle, do it
Speaker 1: to a stranger.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Lesson learned and text in seven eighty five nine too.
Speaker 2: If you have a confession you've been holding on to,
Speaker 2: we can hide your identity, mask your voice, and make
Speaker 2: you the next mass speaker.
Speaker 1: We got your phone tap coming up right
Speaker 6: After this, Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.