Speaker 1: Can you maintain your character when life isn't going the
Speaker 1: way you plan? I did not wait until I felt
Speaker 1: secure to follow what God called me to do. Our
Speaker 1: faithfulness is tested in the way that we respond to
Speaker 1: the things that seem inconsequential. Is your faithful that's going
Speaker 1: to end at the point of conflict? Or are you
Speaker 1: willing to go down with the ship? What's up? What's up?
Speaker 1: This is Sarah Jax Roberts. You are listening to another
Speaker 1: episode of the Woman Evolved podcast. I am so grateful
Speaker 1: to be back at the desk with you. How are you?
Speaker 1: It is March. We are still celebrating women's history. So
Speaker 1: excited about all of the posts that I am seeing
Speaker 1: on social media. Friday we had International Women's Day and
Speaker 1: I am just so full from seeing women honoring other women,
Speaker 1: seeing the fellas get in honoring other women as well.
Speaker 1: So what's up to you, you ladies? I hope that
Speaker 1: you are doing something so fresh, so new, so innovative
Speaker 1: for you, for your family, for your community, that it
Speaker 1: will one day be historical and just for the record.
Speaker 1: That could be as simple as taking a little nap.
Speaker 1: Baby napping in a world where they say we got
Speaker 1: to keep on hustling is historical. Don't feel the pressure
Speaker 1: to make history. Just be yourself, and I bet you're
Speaker 1: going to do something historical. How are you What is
Speaker 1: going on in your world? Let me tell you. So.
Speaker 1: I am in and out of the gym, in and out,
Speaker 1: in and out, in and out. I did two weeks strong,
Speaker 1: and my legs are sore. Next week is spring break.
Speaker 1: Here's my problem. If I do not do one specific workout,
Speaker 1: I do no working got it all, and I'm trying
Speaker 1: to break that curse. I'm trying to break that curse
Speaker 1: off of my life. So I'm going out of town
Speaker 1: for spring break with my girls, and I have every
Speaker 1: intention of packing a jump rope, you know, doing a
Speaker 1: little body weight video online. I have to stay in shape.
Speaker 1: I cannot keep starting from ground zero. It is showing
Speaker 1: up in my body and I do not enjoy it.
Speaker 1: What are you all up to? What's happening in your world?
Speaker 1: What's happening in your internet? In your web? I'm trying
Speaker 1: to think, Oh my gosh, okay, so let's just catch up.
Speaker 1: I watched Resa Tisa on TikTok. I watched her show.
Speaker 1: I watched the series I binge watched it, had it
Speaker 1: in my ear, played it from the playlist. I know
Speaker 1: some of y'all was like, I don't have time. I
Speaker 1: don't have time. You all are not better than us.
Speaker 1: You all are not more responsible than us. Maybe a
Speaker 1: little bit maybe a little better, maybe a little bit
Speaker 1: more responsible. But let me tell you, it was quite
Speaker 1: the story. I was very intrigued, I like most of you.
Speaker 1: Like when I saw it and I saw it was
Speaker 1: fifty parts, I was like, there is absolutely positively no
Speaker 1: reason why this needed to be fifty plus parts song.
Speaker 1: There's no reason for it. Baby. When she got finished
Speaker 1: telling that story, I understood it because I would not
Speaker 1: just want to skim over like some of the things
Speaker 1: that she told in that story. I would want you
Speaker 1: to know every single When I say every single detail,
Speaker 1: I would want you to know every single detail, because
Speaker 1: there are just some things that are like you would
Speaker 1: not believe what I went through. You wouldn't believe it
Speaker 1: if I told it to you. So big ups to her.
Speaker 1: Lots of things happening in her world, in her life,
Speaker 1: and I just love to see a woman living out
Speaker 1: fully what the enemy meant for evil, God meant for good.
Speaker 1: Like period, I don't even know, Like I don't know
Speaker 1: what she was well, I do know what she was doing.
Speaker 1: I think she worked it for parole or in correction office.
Speaker 1: In the correction office, let me tell you something. I
Speaker 1: don't know if she realized how gifted she was as
Speaker 1: a storyteller, as a writer. Maybe she did, but she
Speaker 1: didn't have a pathway to get there when she got
Speaker 1: finished telling this story. I just believe that there was
Speaker 1: so much affirmation in gifts and talents and opportunities that
Speaker 1: God knew all along. I tell this story all the
Speaker 1: time about when I was pregnant as a teenager and
Speaker 1: somebody came up to me and they told me I
Speaker 1: always knew to expect something like this out of you,
Speaker 1: and your girl was devastated. I was just like, what
Speaker 1: energy am I getting off? What's wrong with me? That
Speaker 1: this is something that people would expect from me? Made
Speaker 1: me question myself. It made me doubt myself, and even
Speaker 1: as I began to really develop our relationship with Jesus,
Speaker 1: really begin to seek righteousness and to get my life together,
Speaker 1: you know, I still wondered, like am I good enough
Speaker 1: that that no longer exists? Like? Have I gotten into
Speaker 1: a space where that no longer exists. I started Woman Evolve,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, okay, I started Woman Evolve, but like,
Speaker 1: I don't know if that like am I whoever that
Speaker 1: was where someone looked at me and expected something like
Speaker 1: that from me? Like am I still that girl? And
Speaker 1: when I was worshiping, why am I to? Okay? Yeah,
Speaker 1: when I was worshiping right before the very first time
Speaker 1: Woman Evolve ever went on tour, I was feeling and
Speaker 1: all of them inadequacy, all of the feelings of just
Speaker 1: insecurity and instability, and just for the record, you know,
Speaker 1: I was going anyway, like the tour was planned, it
Speaker 1: was already out there. I did not wait until I
Speaker 1: felt secure to follow what God called me to do.
Speaker 1: I did it unsure because there was something undeniable that
Speaker 1: was happening whenever I preached, whenever I shared my heart
Speaker 1: for God with women, there was something just undeniable where
Speaker 1: people left and they were like, I want to know
Speaker 1: who God is, I want to trust God, I want
Speaker 1: to get back connected with Jesus. Like something was happening
Speaker 1: that was beyond how I felt. So I was going
Speaker 1: on tour to create these environments anyway. As I'm worshiping,
Speaker 1: I'm like, God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, all of y'all, come here.
Speaker 1: Let me talk to you real fast, because I just
Speaker 1: don't feel like I'm the girl who can say anything
Speaker 1: to these girls, like I just don't feel like I
Speaker 1: have what it takes. And in my worship I just
Speaker 1: heard God say I always knew to expect something like
Speaker 1: this from you, And those words have taken on a
Speaker 1: brand new meaning for me. And there is something so
Speaker 1: powerful about us getting to a space where what the
Speaker 1: enemy meant for evil, God shows us all along the
Speaker 1: way I meant it for good. When we truly begin
Speaker 1: to recognize that there are two intentions running at the
Speaker 1: same time, it helps us to understand that even though
Speaker 1: there is one plan that is more visible, there is
Speaker 1: another plan working. You know, maybe it's undercover, maybe it's
Speaker 1: under the radar. Oo. I got chills even thinking that, Like, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: so you know, I don't know if you guys watched
Speaker 1: like the Little Action the little action move everything, everything
Speaker 1: gonna be little for me. I don't know why that
Speaker 1: little little little anyways, them little action movies where there's
Speaker 1: like this intense mission going on and the only way
Speaker 1: that they can survive. The mission is if they start
Speaker 1: flying under the radar. There are moments where God's plan
Speaker 1: and the enemy's plan are taking turns under the radar,
Speaker 1: and sometimes what we see so clearly is the enemy's plan.
Speaker 1: We see the way that he's seeking to kill still
Speaker 1: and destroy our lives. We see the way that we
Speaker 1: have been damaged, broken in abuse. We see the way
Speaker 1: that we have eaten from forbidden fruit and can access
Speaker 1: God or feel so ashamed that we can never experience
Speaker 1: His presence in the way that we were intending to.
Speaker 1: And yet all while that is happening, there is also
Speaker 1: the reality that God's plan is flying under the radar.
Speaker 1: Our job and really having faith in God's plan for
Speaker 1: our life is to get to a place where we
Speaker 1: trust that, even though we can't see it, that God's
Speaker 1: plan is working under the radar. And I feel like
Speaker 1: what we experience with Resa Tisa was this radical swap
Speaker 1: of all of a sudden, God's plan throughout her whole
Speaker 1: experience that was working underneath the radar is now so visible.
Speaker 1: When you have access to moments like this, whether it's
Speaker 1: your moment or another moment or someone else's moment, you
Speaker 1: have to be willing to take note at how God works.
Speaker 1: She was going through all of that stuff. Even when
Speaker 1: she told the video, she reminded me of myself because
Speaker 1: she's like, listen, there's nothing you can call me that
Speaker 1: I haven't said to myself. So she has bought into
Speaker 1: the enemy's narrative about who she is. And now my
Speaker 1: prayer for her is that she will buy into God's
Speaker 1: narrative about who she is. That I still have a
Speaker 1: plan for you, that I still have good available to you,
Speaker 1: that there is still an opportunity through your testimony for
Speaker 1: you to experience healing and growth and development. We have
Speaker 1: to make sure that we are allowing God's plan to
Speaker 1: speak as loudly and as clearly as the enemy's plan.
Speaker 1: Because he got a microphone. It's giving megaphone out here,
Speaker 1: and God's plan is sometimes a whisper until it becomes
Speaker 1: so loud, so undeniable, that we have no choice but
Speaker 1: to surrender to becoming powerful in God. It's one thing
Speaker 1: to become powerful in your own strength and your own
Speaker 1: might because someone else gave you influence. It is another
Speaker 1: thing to become powerful in God. And when we become
Speaker 1: powerful in God, it may not be as visible as
Speaker 1: us becoming powerful and our own strength and our own talent.
Speaker 1: But when it does become visible, there is no denying
Speaker 1: on a soul level that God is with you and
Speaker 1: God is for you. That was a long intro. Usually
Speaker 1: i'll just check in on y'all, but we was catching up.
Speaker 1: I was telling y'all about recent teacher. I was trying
Speaker 1: to figure out what else was going on the internet.
Speaker 1: I can't remember, y'all. Leave Shannon Sharp alone. I have
Speaker 1: to see what else I be on TikTok for research. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm on TikTok for research. I am not on TikTok
Speaker 1: because I have nothing else to do. As a rec
Speaker 1: responsible podcast hosts, I consider it my duty to understand
Speaker 1: what is going going on the interweve all right, y'all,
Speaker 1: y'all already know what it is. We are going to
Speaker 1: have a little question. First of all, the question isn't little.
Speaker 1: It's a long question. And you know what. I like
Speaker 1: it because when I say I want to mind your business,
Speaker 1: I mean I want to mind all of it. Send
Speaker 1: me your question to podcasts at womnivop dot com. I
Speaker 1: love to hear your voice. I love it when you
Speaker 1: send it to me in a video, and I have
Speaker 1: an opportunity to see your face, to see your hand
Speaker 1: movements while you're telling me the story. But I know
Speaker 1: some of you all are like I want you to
Speaker 1: mind my business, but mind your business at the same time.
Speaker 1: And in that case, you can send me an email.
Speaker 1: When you send me the email, I will not mention
Speaker 1: your name. You can send that email to podcast at
Speaker 1: womnivop dot com and you can tell it like a
Speaker 1: TI is and I will share with you what I know.
Speaker 1: In the multitude of council there is wisdom, so I'll
Speaker 1: share mine. Maybe someone else will write in and respond
Speaker 1: if you have a similar situation or they have some
Speaker 1: wisdom or insight that I missed. Email it to me
Speaker 1: podcast at womn'tevolve dot com. Let's listen to this week's question.
Speaker 1: Since November, my best friend and I haven't spoken because
Speaker 1: of a party that she wanted to have for Christmas.
Speaker 1: Before I get into the detail, at one point we
Speaker 1: both had all of the same friends, which was only
Speaker 1: five of us. When I entered my second year of college,
Speaker 1: I backed away from everyone because I realized that I
Speaker 1: no longer needed to be surrounded by them, and it
Speaker 1: served me no purpose. Everyone is cordial, no drama or anything.
Speaker 1: We just no longer communicate. So the only person that
Speaker 1: I communicated with was my best friend. We've been best
Speaker 1: friends for over five years now. Long story short. She
Speaker 1: got mad that I didn't want to attend a party
Speaker 1: Petty right because I didn't want to be uncomfortable in
Speaker 1: that situation surrounded by four other people I no longer
Speaker 1: speak with and haven't had a full conversation within like
Speaker 1: two years now. In another message, she said, she said
Speaker 1: my own best friend and even be supportive, and that
Speaker 1: I never want to do things with her, but are
Speaker 1: always with the people I met while on campus, which
Speaker 1: are my roommates. Right there, I almost went off, but
Speaker 1: I didn't respond because I felt like she was questioning
Speaker 1: my loyalty and the person that I am. I've never
Speaker 1: been told that by anyone. I'm always the person that
Speaker 1: people run to, even when I'm facing things on my own.
Speaker 1: I felt like that alone told me all that I
Speaker 1: needed to know. Everything that I've tried to do with
Speaker 1: her and the friend group back then, for fun and
Speaker 1: for success was always talked about, but moves never happen,
Speaker 1: and sometimes everyone would be together, and I would be
Speaker 1: the only one who was told nothing about it whatsoever.
Speaker 1: I guess her seeing that I do things with the
Speaker 1: people I've met in college made her feel a certain way.
Speaker 1: It is crazy that I was called unsupportive because I've
Speaker 1: always been the only one who was always there for
Speaker 1: her in every obstacle. My response was, if you don't
Speaker 1: want to accept the fact that certain environments are no
Speaker 1: longer for me, then I don't know what to tell you.
Speaker 1: She responded, it is what it is. I don't care
Speaker 1: no more. It has now been three months since ill
Speaker 1: I spoke to her, and before this situation, I kept
Speaker 1: getting this feeling that God was prepared for a new season.
Speaker 1: I started letting go of a lot of things and
Speaker 1: backing away from people. I'm only twenty years old, and
Speaker 1: I feel like this area that I'm in is a
Speaker 1: part of me growing. I've always been really mature for
Speaker 1: my age, and God is allowing me to see things
Speaker 1: for what they are and not what I want them
Speaker 1: to be. I've never been the type to not make
Speaker 1: moves when it comes to my success, because I know
Speaker 1: that I am on a mission, so I can't just
Speaker 1: talk about things and sit around like it's going to
Speaker 1: come to me. I have to do what God is
Speaker 1: telling me. Ever since I've backed away from so much,
Speaker 1: I've changed in so many ways. I'm not the same
Speaker 1: person that I used to be. I don't hold the
Speaker 1: same conversations that I used to hold. I'm growing, so
Speaker 1: I know that if I'm not around people who are
Speaker 1: doing the same, then this is probably how they would
Speaker 1: view me as well. But I feel great about this
Speaker 1: version of myself, and my college journey is coming to
Speaker 1: an end. I've always been a church girl, but being
Speaker 1: able to actually be in sync as I get older
Speaker 1: and make situations a whole lot better. There are times
Speaker 1: when I want to text her because that's my girl,
Speaker 1: but at the same time, I get a feeling that's
Speaker 1: like just leaving alone. So, Sarah girl, what should I do?
Speaker 1: Friendship breakups are absolutely positively horrible, especially when you were
Speaker 1: at this stage in your life where you can begin
Speaker 1: to feel yourself shifting in the direction of more intentionality,
Speaker 1: of purpose, of getting really serious. And when you begin
Speaker 1: to shift in that direction and people are not moving
Speaker 1: at the same rate and the same pace as you're
Speaker 1: moving in it can be very challenging, isolating, and lonely.
Speaker 1: I know this very well, and I think that one
Speaker 1: of the things that we have to do is really
Speaker 1: let things be what they are. You have to be
Speaker 1: willing to ask ourselves, am I forcing something to be
Speaker 1: something it's not? Or am I shrinking to fit into
Speaker 1: something that once was? And if you are shrinking to
Speaker 1: fit into something that once was, you can maintain the
Speaker 1: friendship and lose yourself, or you can dare to stand
Speaker 1: in the fullness of who you are and risk the
Speaker 1: friendship changing. I have to say that in my experience
Speaker 1: in having circumstances like this, and I have had quite
Speaker 1: a few, especially from adolescence into my thirties, that one
Speaker 1: of the things that I had to be careful of
Speaker 1: was not weaponizing my growth, not using my growth as
Speaker 1: an excuse to down someone else. Giving someone else the
Speaker 1: space to be on a different path at a different
Speaker 1: pace is something that we do not talk about enough.
Speaker 1: And while it is true that sometimes people walk away
Speaker 1: from us and sometimes we have to walk away from people,
Speaker 1: if we do so thinking that we are somehow better
Speaker 1: than them, then we end up just becoming prideful instead
Speaker 1: of compassionate to where they are in their journey. The
Speaker 1: reason why I believe that exercise and compassion is important
Speaker 1: is because at the end of the day, we may
Speaker 1: be in a situation where we are in the same rooms,
Speaker 1: where our path is aligning, and just because we can't
Speaker 1: grow together now doesn't mean that there won't be a
Speaker 1: season in which we can connect again. And one of
Speaker 1: the things that I learned is that there were so
Speaker 1: many instances where I knew that I was growing in
Speaker 1: a different direction of someone and made the decision to
Speaker 1: demonize where they were in order to justify us walking
Speaker 1: away from one another. And when I demonize where they were,
Speaker 1: it didn't make me feel any better. If you really
Speaker 1: want to get over, get over quote unquote a friendship
Speaker 1: that has no longer that no longer has the ability
Speaker 1: to serve where you are, then my suggestion is to
Speaker 1: leave that friendship with gratitude, to be thankful for the
Speaker 1: time that you share together, to honor the role that
Speaker 1: that person played in your life while also honoring where
Speaker 1: you are now. And you never go wrong with honor.
Speaker 1: You do not need to demonize them in order to
Speaker 1: walk away. And if you have to demonize them in
Speaker 1: order to walk away, I think it's a sign of
Speaker 1: immaturity within itself to be able to say, you know what,
Speaker 1: I really didn't need that friendship. It helped me survive college,
Speaker 1: it helped me get through this, and that person was
Speaker 1: a good friend to me then. But for who I
Speaker 1: am now, that friend no longer serves me. To say
Speaker 1: goodbye with respect and honor is the greatest gift that
Speaker 1: we can give that person as an individual and child
Speaker 1: of God, while also honoring our growth. It's not always easy,
Speaker 1: but when you create boundaries, you begin to really understand
Speaker 1: who is supportive of your growth and who is just
Speaker 1: not a good fit for you right now. And it
Speaker 1: takes a lot of courage to identify that and make
Speaker 1: a decision based off of what you see. Many of
Speaker 1: us we identify it, but we don't make decisions based
Speaker 1: off of what we see, and we just end up
Speaker 1: internalizing the knowing that something is no longer for us
Speaker 1: and then just move on pretending as opposed to activating
Speaker 1: what we know. And you cannot reasonably expect for God
Speaker 1: to give you more clarity, more vision, more direction when
Speaker 1: you don't already move on what He's given you as
Speaker 1: a knowing. Our obedience is not just saying God, Yes,
Speaker 1: I'll do whatever you tell me to do. But God,
Speaker 1: I will pay attention to the knowings that you put
Speaker 1: in my spirit, and I will make decisions and I
Speaker 1: will adjust according to what I know. And I feel
Speaker 1: like that's something that many of us could benefit from activating.
Speaker 1: Even more. I was just about to send a message.
Speaker 1: I was going to screenshot a message that came to
Speaker 1: me and send it to someone else, and I just thought,
Speaker 1: the Holy Spirit just be like, don't do it. And
Speaker 1: it seems like it's so small and so minusculeed like
Speaker 1: this doesn't have anything to do with a sermon, it
Speaker 1: has nothing to do with ministry. But what it does
Speaker 1: have to do with is me being obedient, even to
Speaker 1: the things that don't seem like they matter. You may
Speaker 1: not believe that, you know, you pretending to still get
Speaker 1: along with someone who you know is diminishing your growth,
Speaker 1: or you pretending to say yes to something when you
Speaker 1: really want to say no, is a big deal in
Speaker 1: the grand scheme of things. But we are tested. Our
Speaker 1: faithfulness is tested in the ways that we respond to
Speaker 1: the things that seem inconsequential. If you are faithful over
Speaker 1: a few things that I'll make you ruler over many.
Speaker 1: This is not just about the acquisition of things, but
Speaker 1: about the character connected to the little things that God
Speaker 1: has given us. And so we have an opportunity every
Speaker 1: day to exercise the type of character required for where
Speaker 1: God is taking us. Sometimes it's not the lack of
Speaker 1: God having somewhere to take you, or the lack of
Speaker 1: having a purpose, or the lack of having gifts or talents,
Speaker 1: but do you have the character and does it show
Speaker 1: up in the small things or are you going to
Speaker 1: activate the character once you get to the big moments?
Speaker 1: And so I think it's very admirable that you are
Speaker 1: activating the character that you need now for where God
Speaker 1: is taking you. And in the perfect world, everyone would
Speaker 1: adjust to that activation. But not everyone is willing to
Speaker 1: do that. And so you take the hard, lonely road
Speaker 1: of transitioning. And as you transition, do it respect and honor,
Speaker 1: keeping your heart open to the ways that that person
Speaker 1: can grow and the ways that God could bring someone
Speaker 1: else in your life evolve. Like so many of you,
Speaker 1: I grew up in church. Some of you did not
Speaker 1: grow up in church, but you grew up around it.
Speaker 1: I will tell you that part of my experience in church,
Speaker 1: and mind you, when I was growing up, it was
Speaker 1: part of the height of the purity culture. So everything
Speaker 1: was kind of about like performative relationship with God. You
Speaker 1: do the right thing all of the time. If you
Speaker 1: can't do the right thing all of the right time,
Speaker 1: then you do not have as much worth or value
Speaker 1: as other people, especially as it relates to your body.
Speaker 1: As it relates to your body, how you care yourself,
Speaker 1: there was a desire to be this person who you know,
Speaker 1: was pretty I'm going to say blameless and constantly. I
Speaker 1: won't even say pursuing righteousness because like the idea was
Speaker 1: like they had already arrived and they had achieved it.
Speaker 1: I did not fit in in church because I kind
Speaker 1: of knew, like, listen, I'm trying to figure out how
Speaker 1: you do this thing, Like how do you even get
Speaker 1: to a place where that is your experience? How do
Speaker 1: you get to a place where you are living blamelessly
Speaker 1: and righteously? And no one was really explaining it, or
Speaker 1: at least maybe I wasn't paying attention, but no one
Speaker 1: was really explaining it. It just seemed like either you
Speaker 1: get it or you don't. I took many years to
Speaker 1: finally learn that character is something that is developed. It's
Speaker 1: not necessarily something that you just get. I think part
Speaker 1: of why I am such a you know, advocate, I
Speaker 1: guess for gentle parenting is because even the idea that like,
Speaker 1: you do something wrong, you get a whooping, and you're
Speaker 1: not supposed to do it again is a little performative.
Speaker 1: At least it was for me. Let me speak about mind,
Speaker 1: let me sweep around my own front porch. And as
Speaker 1: a result of it being performative for me, I never
Speaker 1: learned like why what I did was wrong, and I
Speaker 1: never felt a conviction necessarily to do right as much
Speaker 1: as I was like, I'm either not going to do
Speaker 1: it again because I don't want to whoop in which
Speaker 1: I think was the goal, or I'm going to do
Speaker 1: it differently next time instead of the challenge of this
Speaker 1: is not the kind of person you want to become.
Speaker 1: A person who makes these types of decisions are X, Y,
Speaker 1: and Z, and these are the types of relationships that
Speaker 1: they lose and the type of people they attract. Because
Speaker 1: character is so important, we wasn't breaking it down and so,
Speaker 1: as I said, many years for me to get to
Speaker 1: a place where I'm like, okay, I need to have
Speaker 1: character development for myself so that I understand the value
Speaker 1: of integrity, of honesty, of loyalty, of you know, communicating
Speaker 1: in a way that makes person feel safe, and being
Speaker 1: a safe place where someone's secrets are safe with me.
Speaker 1: Like that was something that was developed for me. It
Speaker 1: wasn't something that I just got naturally. And maybe it's
Speaker 1: just me, you know, but that's a part of my
Speaker 1: experience creating a space for other people to be vulnerable.
Speaker 1: All of that was developed through character development. And so
Speaker 1: if you are in a position where you are constantly
Speaker 1: undergoing the process of character development, I want you to
Speaker 1: know one you are not on your own. Secondly, I
Speaker 1: want to encourage you to be intentional about understanding what
Speaker 1: type of person you want to be. You know, guys,
Speaker 1: I'm talking all about Power Moves. I'm reading it. I'm
Speaker 1: constantly consuming it and just trying to figure out how
Speaker 1: do I continue to unpack everything that God gave me
Speaker 1: when God gave me this book. But part of it
Speaker 1: really was just this practical guide to developing characters so
Speaker 1: that you can show up in the world in a
Speaker 1: way that gives you confidence. And our character is developed
Speaker 1: through submission to the Holy Spirit. So when we talk
Speaker 1: about what type of person you want to be, what
Speaker 1: are the values of the person you desire to be,
Speaker 1: I will give you an example. As a mother, I
Speaker 1: guess I want to be easy to talk to, but
Speaker 1: I also want to be committed to telling the truth.
Speaker 1: I want to be a parent who can apologize. I
Speaker 1: want to be vulnerable with my children about the choices
Speaker 1: and decisions that I made. I want to help them
Speaker 1: understand why they may be making some of the decisions
Speaker 1: that they have made. And so that requires dialogue and intentionality.
Speaker 1: And what's wild is as a team mom. You know,
Speaker 1: raising a kid at fourteen versus raising kids at thirty
Speaker 1: five is obviously completely different because at fourteen I was
Speaker 1: just doing what I thought I was supposed to do,
Speaker 1: tapping that laughy taffy, yelling if necessary. And my child,
Speaker 1: you know, very respectful, loves me very much, yes, ma'am, no, ma'am,
Speaker 1: all of those things, and yet like he doesn't ask
Speaker 1: me for anything. I can remember when he was maybe
Speaker 1: in middle school, and I looked at his shoes. I
Speaker 1: was like, are your shoes too small? And he was like, yes, ma'am.
Speaker 1: I just didn't want to ask you for anything. I
Speaker 1: had trained him to think similarly to the way that
Speaker 1: I think that I was raised, and that your needs,
Speaker 1: and no matter how legitimate they are, could be an inconvenience.
Speaker 1: So if you could just keep them to yourself unless
Speaker 1: absolutely necessary, that would be ideal. And so now, even
Speaker 1: in his twenties, like I'm constantly asking him, like, you know,
Speaker 1: not necessarily just what do you need, but like how
Speaker 1: did that make you feel? And making sure that I
Speaker 1: am creating a space where he can tell me what
Speaker 1: he needs without judgment. And so those are some of
Speaker 1: the things that I want to hold near to me
Speaker 1: as I seek to be a mother that moves in
Speaker 1: power for my children. And who I am as a mother,
Speaker 1: though they're certainly overlapped, may be different than who I
Speaker 1: am as a businesswoman. As a businesswoman, I want to
Speaker 1: be direct, I want to be clear, I want to
Speaker 1: be concise, I want to be compassionate. I want to
Speaker 1: maintain a boundary. And so as a businesswoman, I'm having
Speaker 1: to navigate how does that show up in my decision making.
Speaker 1: The problem is like there is who we want to be,
Speaker 1: but then there is who we are in the moment,
Speaker 1: and when it's time for me to actually activate those things.
Speaker 1: How do I make sure that as a parent, I'm
Speaker 1: not tapping back into what feels normal and culturally acceptable
Speaker 1: for me? And how do I make sure that my
Speaker 1: actions align with my desire and that I am showing
Speaker 1: up in the way that I have consulted God and
Speaker 1: come away with as my blueprint for an existence that
Speaker 1: looks more like Him. If as parents we are the
Speaker 1: closest reflection to God, our children first experience, what precedent
Speaker 1: do I want to set for their relationship with God?
Speaker 1: And am I taking that seriously? That is part of
Speaker 1: what I ask myself. I was looking in Job one,
Speaker 1: and part of the reason why I was looking in
Speaker 1: Job one is because Job was not just chosen because
Speaker 1: of who he was. Job wasn't just chosen as some
Speaker 1: random person in the Bible. And Job was chosen because
Speaker 1: he was blameless and upright and one who feared God
Speaker 1: and shunned evil. As a matter of fact, one of
Speaker 1: the titles within John and Job, Wan says, Satan attacks
Speaker 1: Job's character, and so Satan attacks Job's character. He says,
Speaker 1: have you considered God? Is you know? The Satan is
Speaker 1: roaming to and fro, looking for someone that he may devour.
Speaker 1: And the Lord says, have you tried my servant Job?
Speaker 1: And the Satan said no. Okay. The Lord says to Satan,
Speaker 1: have you considered my servant Job that there is none
Speaker 1: like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man,
Speaker 1: one who fears God and shuns evil. And Satan answer
Speaker 1: the Lord says, does Job fear God for nothing? Have
Speaker 1: you not made a hedge around him, and around his household,
Speaker 1: and around all that he has on every side? You
Speaker 1: have blessed the work of his hands, in his possessions
Speaker 1: have increased in the land. But now stretch out your
Speaker 1: hand and touch all that he has, and he will
Speaker 1: surely curse you to your face. The enemy attacks what
Speaker 1: Job possesses, but the attack was really on his character.
Speaker 1: The Lord says to Satan, behold all that he has
Speaker 1: is in your power. Only do not lay a hand
Speaker 1: on his person. Oh, this is so good to me.
Speaker 1: When I want to I begin on my own nerves.
Speaker 1: I want to say this the way I hear it
Speaker 1: in my head. When the Lord says, but do not
Speaker 1: attack his person, the Lord is saying that you can
Speaker 1: attack anything around him, but keep his person attact who
Speaker 1: he is as a person you cannot touch. But the
Speaker 1: enemy is of the philosophy that if I touch what
Speaker 1: they possess, then I will touch the person and that
Speaker 1: person will end up cursing you. And I think it
Speaker 1: just shows us the difference in how God thinks. I'm
Speaker 1: thinking about that analogy about the enemy mentor for evil,
Speaker 1: God meant it for good. You know, the difference between
Speaker 1: how the enemy is looking and how God is looking.
Speaker 1: When Satan is looking for a way to attack job,
Speaker 1: he is looking for something that will ultimately affect his character.
Speaker 1: Because if your character can be impacted, then you will
Speaker 1: no longer be the person who can be faithful over
Speaker 1: what God has given you. Can you maintain your character
Speaker 1: when life isn't going the way you plan? Can you
Speaker 1: maintain your character when you're losing friends? Can you maintain
Speaker 1: your character when you are under attack? Man, I'm thinking
Speaker 1: the beginning of this year, we were under such attack
Speaker 1: and I wanted to hide, I wanted to quit, and
Speaker 1: I was mean you talking about going back and forth
Speaker 1: with the Lord. I was like, Lord Jesus, ooh, this
Speaker 1: may be the end for your dog, Like she just
Speaker 1: got up here. Maybe it's time for homegirl to sit down,
Speaker 1: and you know, I felt like God really challenged me, like,
Speaker 1: are you only going to be faithful when it seems
Speaker 1: like things are protected, when it feels like things are
Speaker 1: on the rise, when it feels like you know you're
Speaker 1: checking all of the boxes, you did everything right, and
Speaker 1: you still experience calamity. Is your faithfulness going to end
Speaker 1: at the point of conflict? Or are you willing to
Speaker 1: go down with the ship because I've been faithful to you,
Speaker 1: because you trust me, because you know that if I
Speaker 1: allowed this to happen, then it must be because it
Speaker 1: needed to come down, or it can't come down, Like
Speaker 1: are you going to ride with me on that level?
Speaker 1: And I got breakthrough and my break God be talking
Speaker 1: crazy to me. I got breakthrough. My breakthrough basically came.
Speaker 1: I told my husband, I'm going down with the ship.
Speaker 1: Like who says that? Like I'm supposed to come out
Speaker 1: with something so inspiring, so encouraging, but I was so
Speaker 1: settled in this, Like I'm going down with the ship
Speaker 1: like I meant it, Like why I don't want to
Speaker 1: say Titanic me, but like I'm going down with the ship,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like God, if I am
Speaker 1: on this boat. You called me to it. I had confirmation.
Speaker 1: I didn't ask for it. You allowed me to be
Speaker 1: in this position, and now the very place that you
Speaker 1: placed me in, it feels like the saying is sinking.
Speaker 1: I am not going to question whether or not you
Speaker 1: sent me here because I just saw too many signs.
Speaker 1: I know too much to turn my back. And if
Speaker 1: I'm sitting here on sinking saying, then God, I am
Speaker 1: going to trust that you have something solid in the
Speaker 1: midst of the sinking, or that the sinking is just
Speaker 1: an illusion. And I have to imagine that that is
Speaker 1: how Job fell, not that it didn't hurt him. When
Speaker 1: we read all of Job, we see that he cried out,
Speaker 1: he got upset, he was frustrated, his friends turned his
Speaker 1: back on him. But when it's all said and done,
Speaker 1: God ends up restoring his character, stayed intact regardless of
Speaker 1: what was happening around him. And that's what I want
Speaker 1: for myself. I want to have so much character that
Speaker 1: temptation doesn't get me, that calamity doesn't threaten me, and
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to fight for this. It's not gonna
Speaker 1: come easy, it's not gonna come naturally, but I have
Speaker 1: decided who I want to be in God. I have
Speaker 1: decided who I want to be in Jesus. And when
Speaker 1: I make that decision, I am going to fight to
Speaker 1: stay in that place. Y'all might have to take this
Speaker 1: clip and play it for me when life gets hard
Speaker 1: and I'm okay with that. You know, you may have
Speaker 1: to come get me when I'm sinking and when life
Speaker 1: doesn't look the way that I thought that it would.
Speaker 1: But I am committed to figuring out how to stay
Speaker 1: connected with God no matter what. I am committed to
Speaker 1: walking this thing out for a lifetime. And I want
Speaker 1: to encourage you this week as we talk about becoming
Speaker 1: powerful in God, to not look to become powerful in
Speaker 1: the media, to become powerful in your community, to become
Speaker 1: powerful in your church, at your school, to become powerful
Speaker 1: in a relationship, to become powerful that so much, to
Speaker 1: become so powerful that it begins to border arrogance, but
Speaker 1: to become so powerful in God that you resemble a
Speaker 1: life that looks like Jesus, where you become obedient even
Speaker 1: until the point of death, but ultimately you experience God's
Speaker 1: glory because you were willing to become powerful even when
Speaker 1: it looked like you were maybe weak on the outside
Speaker 1: or under attack, that you stay committed. That faithfulness is
Speaker 1: the faithfulness that we experience from God. And I feel like,
Speaker 1: you know, Paul says, it is our reasonable service to
Speaker 1: return that level of faithfulness. And I am telling you
Speaker 1: when I look at the Bible and I look at
Speaker 1: what those people went through in scripture, like none of
Speaker 1: it looked easy. None of it looked easy. I don't
Speaker 1: know why we got to this place where we were
Speaker 1: just like, this thing is going to be easy, Like
Speaker 1: there's nothing that suggests that it's not going to be hard,
Speaker 1: that it's not going to break you into a thousand pieces,
Speaker 1: And so you probably want to like child, then why
Speaker 1: Because I want to be on the right side of history.
Speaker 1: I want to maintain the faithfulness that God has exhibited
Speaker 1: towards me. And there is nothing more powerful than God's
Speaker 1: glory being able to show up in your life, to
Speaker 1: partner with God in such a way that makes God
Speaker 1: tangible for other people. It is my profound belief that
Speaker 1: it is the only thing that will actually make the
Speaker 1: world a better place. And so why do we say faithful?
Speaker 1: Because faithful is the faithful is the gateway for glory.
Speaker 1: Faithful is the gateway for encountering God's presence. And since
Speaker 1: you're going to be in someone's presence, we're going to
Speaker 1: be in the presence of anxiety. We're going to be
Speaker 1: in the presence of depression. We're going to be in
Speaker 1: the presence of evil. Anytime we turn on the headlines,
Speaker 1: the Lord knows is evil all over the world. Like
Speaker 1: we are going to be in the presence of something,
Speaker 1: why not be in the presence of God? And because
Speaker 1: God has asked to dwell with you, among you, inside
Speaker 1: of you, why not maintain your ability to tap into
Speaker 1: the presence of God, regardless of what other presents are around,
Speaker 1: and allow that to edify you and to become what
Speaker 1: you are committed to. So character development begins in our
Speaker 1: relationship with God. It begins in us really understanding who
Speaker 1: we want to be in God and living that out loud.
Speaker 1: And when we begin to make those choices and decisions
Speaker 1: to live out who we want to be in God,
Speaker 1: it changes our life. It shifts us. We align with
Speaker 1: other people who are on a similar journey. I preached
Speaker 1: the message a Mirror and a Model. It's on YouTube
Speaker 1: if you haven't seen it, go to check it out.
Speaker 1: It really begins to break down even further. This notion
Speaker 1: of our spirit being a reflection of God's image. And
Speaker 1: when our spirit is a reflection of God's image, it
Speaker 1: should show up in the way that we speak to people.
Speaker 1: It should show up in the way that we create,
Speaker 1: It should show up in our humility, It should show
Speaker 1: up in the way that we are confident because we
Speaker 1: are made in the image of God. It doesn't mean
Speaker 1: I always have to get things right. It means that
Speaker 1: I can apologize, and when I get them right, I
Speaker 1: can celebrate, Like it's just beautiful to have a spirit
Speaker 1: that you can tell is aligned with something that is
Speaker 1: so much bigger than you. It is humbling, and it
Speaker 1: is just transformative. So we're going to be talking, as
Speaker 1: you can imagine, about becoming powerful, what it means, what
Speaker 1: it doesn't mean, shedding definitions of pseudo power so that
Speaker 1: we can lay hold of God's divinity in our life.
Speaker 1: And I am excited to be your companion on this journey.
Speaker 1: If you have not, please preorder my book removes ignite
Speaker 1: your confidence and become a force. I ask myself over
Speaker 1: and over again, like how do I break this down.
Speaker 1: How do I break this down into bite sized pieces
Speaker 1: that are within reach and tangible for the reader. And
Speaker 1: I believe that God's given me such rich wisdom and
Speaker 1: insight on how to get it done. I am going
Speaker 1: to see if I can get Pet on the podcast
Speaker 1: next week so we can talk about becoming powerful in
Speaker 1: a relationship, becoming powerful as a unit without losing your individuality.
Speaker 1: I just feel like there's so much that we can unpack,
Speaker 1: and I would love to unpack it with you, So
Speaker 1: I will talk to you next week. I love you
Speaker 1: so bad. Which is my daughter's gonna be saying that.
Speaker 1: Y'all pray for me. I am raising an alpha. She's
Speaker 1: an alpha. Oh, y'all pray for me. I hope you
Speaker 1: have an amazing week. Let's pray before we go. Man, character,
Speaker 1: okay before I I just want to say this, A
Speaker 1: lot of us have taken on the character of our culture,
Speaker 1: our environment, and as opposed to character being something that
Speaker 1: relates to our morality and our ethics, character has become
Speaker 1: how we play a role in environments and situations that
Speaker 1: no longer serve us. I want to challenge you to
Speaker 1: no longer be a character, but to have character if
Speaker 1: there is an area in your life where you are
Speaker 1: stuck in a role that makes everyone else happy, everyone
Speaker 1: else comfortable, but you have no character within, You have
Speaker 1: no boundaries, you have no sense of what's right or
Speaker 1: what's wrong. You have no sense of integrity to what
Speaker 1: God has called you to do, but you have the
Speaker 1: comfort of other people's acceptance. I want to challenge you
Speaker 1: to at least define what it would look like to
Speaker 1: have character. Once you have created that definition, let's pray
Speaker 1: about how we take what we have and allow it
Speaker 1: to flow into who we are. Holy Spirit, Thank you,
Speaker 1: Thank you for giving us a guide, for recognizing that
Speaker 1: we needed more than just clever ideas, that we needed
Speaker 1: someone who could walk this thing out for us. So,
Speaker 1: like my mother said when I was the little girl,
Speaker 1: thank you God for Jesus. As we prepare to go
Speaker 1: about our day, God, I pray that you would highlight
Speaker 1: for my friend the areas where they need to experience
Speaker 1: growth and development. That you would do it in such
Speaker 1: a way that it doesn't make them feel shame, but
Speaker 1: rather hungry, hungry for your power, hungry for your spirit,
Speaker 1: hungry for your love to lead them, guide them and
Speaker 1: direct them, and as they begin to lean into the
Speaker 1: direction of that growth. God, I asked that you would
Speaker 1: show them signs along the way that says you got this.
Speaker 1: Keep going, keep pushing. God's covering you with you. He'll
Speaker 1: never leave you nor forsake you. I thank you God
Speaker 1: for the opportunity to share what you have done in
Speaker 1: my life, to share what I am learning and unpacking
Speaker 1: about who you are. God. I pray that I've said
Speaker 1: something today that has added value to your kingdom. The
Speaker 1: same way that you're highlighting areas of growth for them,
Speaker 1: do it for me too. I say that with much trepidation,
Speaker 1: because I am stressed in Feeling like I have something
Speaker 1: to do makes me feel even more anxiety. So I
Speaker 1: pray that when it is highlighted, that I would not
Speaker 1: shun it or feel shame, but embrace it from a
Speaker 1: place of love, because that's the place in which you
Speaker 1: are highlighting. In Bless their weak God and all that
Speaker 1: they do in Jesus' name. Amen.