And so it really takes off in Baghdad, and you find me, you know, flying on
a helicopter going into this war zone.
And, and then it could be one part travel, adventure story, but I've really
wove my life our life into it and it became the story of me of us my family and
You know is also like the story of me and my best friend who have not lived close
together in decades really but that That friendship, and so If you love travel
adventure definitely pick up the book.
You won't You won't be disappointed and if you're looking for the hope
and inspiration in your own life and healing journey I cover that as well.
It really is a book that I think can touch a lot of people
on a lot of different levels
Today on The Beautiful Side of Grief, we are exploring a journey from wall torn
Baghdad to the sunny Caribbean and many countries in between through the eyes of
a diplomat's wife, who during all of this struggled with infertility, pregnancy
loss, parental loss, and so much more.
All the while re adapting to strange new lands and dealing
with a complex chronic condition.
Yep, that sounds like a pretty heavy load.
Though in the midst of this, Vashti Kanahili also discovered fabulous
new cultures, places off the beaten track, and a resilience and strength
to take control of her health.
She has just released a book , Passports and Parasites.
Don't you just love that title?
It takes you from the exotic to the grassroots of life, literally, which is
receiving fabulous reviews and in the past few years has become a functional
medicine coach and now resides in Virginia with her husband and two gorgeous girls.
So I am excited to explore all this and more with her today.
So a very warm welcome to The Beautiful Side of Grief, Vashti.
Thank you so much for having me on today, Helen.
The pleasure to be here.
Hello everyone.
First up, they say that we always find another country that feels like home from
the moment that you arrive, and that was certainly the case for me when I traveled.
Did you find such a country on your travels?
So many different places, and I would say that one that really feels like
home to me to this day, uh, is Lebanon.
Oh, what made you feel that way?
What was it about that place?
Um, I just loved the, the culture, the people, the history there.
Uh, it's a gorgeous country, delicious food.
And so I just always felt.
Like home and that is, kind of stepping in front of our story here.
It is where I was able to, conceive my, my first child.
So it's, it has a special place in my heart.
oh yes, because that's a journey in itself.
So just before we get into all of that, just share with us your background and
just so we can get a better understanding of who you are and what your journey has
been, because it's pretty fascinating.
Thank you.
Um, sure.
I am, uh, the spouse of a diplomat.
My husband is a diplomat in the U S diplomatic corps.
And, um, we have been overseas for most of the last 15 years.
Um, I was working in international development, um, during
those early years together.
And then, um, through my story and getting sick with Lyme disease and infertility
and having all of these different things happen to me, I switched paths and became
a functional medicine coach, um, working closely with a naturopathic doctor.
And um, really if you want to go way back, I'm, it's funny because
I'm just really a small town girl.
from pretty rural America and living this whole other life
that I never saw myself living.
I know because, oh my gosh, it just sounds like when we hear diplomat's
wife, we just imagine you just living the life of luxury, going to all
these exotic places and doing all of those wonderful things, experiencing
new cultures, all that sort of thing.
But I'd love to have you share with us what it was like experiencing fertility
issues in a country that isn't home.
How do you just navigate that, you know, culturally and with their medical system?
Yeah, you know, we had had a miscarriage in early in our marriage in 2008 when
we were living in the United States.
And that was one of those things where it was like, Oh, there's no heartbeat.
You know, you've had a miscarriage go home.
We're sorry.
And, you know, sort of that sort of Just your in and out in the emergency
care system and that was in the US.
And we moved to We're in Beirut, Lebanon we had been trying to have
children and we had suffered another miscarriage and it was honestly a I
felt more taken care of there than I did in my own home, healthcare system.
Um, the doctor there immediately started running tests to see what was going on.
Whereas in the U S they, I have friends who've had many, many miscarriages
and no one really ever checked it out except for say, sorry, you
know, try again and, keep going.
And so it was hard in the aspect that I was far away from my, family, and
sometimes you really just want your mom or your best friend, and, but I
was lucky to have a really wonderful community, at our embassy there.
And as well as having Lebanese friends and everyone really rallied behind
us in that, initial miscarriage.
And, but it was still this.
A totally different healthcare system.
So really navigating that, um, and just trying to find your way
when you're so far away from home.
I know what to expect in the U S healthcare system for better or worse.
And then, there, it was just like, okay, we're going to do this.
We, I had, um, a Lebanese nurse that worked at the embassy
that helped me get set up with.
A reproductive endocrinologist that was highly regarded in the Lebanese and
an international community in Beirut.
And so seeing him was really, really helpful.
I actually really, he's the reason that we have kids today.
I truly believe that.
And then it was, okay, you have a blood clotting disorder.
What are we going to do with this?
And, you know, having to the medication that's not necessarily
available on the local market.
And Just Hoping everything, would work out, um, but really having
that community help me get through those really tough times.
Because we were having the miscarriage and at the same time, the Arab uprising,
if you remember what's going on at that time, where across the Arab world,
There were in the, in the whole, that whole region, there were uprisings,
you know, and wanting a more democratic government and things like that.
And so we were, we were very much wondering what was going on.
So there was that, that personal stress of, okay, we're trying to have a baby.
It's not working.
We're going through all of these different tests.
And then, oh, goodness, what is happening right here regionally around us?
And how is that going to affect us?
And then my husband had to leave and go to Syria.
And there was a very, very trying, um, Situation when he was in Syria.
And this was like immediately on the heels of having, the miscarriage.
And I just had to drop like sort of those feelings that I, the grief.
We, you talk about this in your podcast all the time and we, I just
never was able to fully grieve that miscarriage until I wrote the book.
I realized this when I was writing the book.
You know, I had just moved on to this next thing that was right in front of me.
And never sitting with that grief and processing it.
Until like a decade later.
Literally.
Yeah, let's talk about that because, you know, I believe
miscarriage is such a hidden grief.
Like people just do not talk about it, are not able to freely share it
and, and process it in a healthy way.
You had lots of other things going on, but nonetheless, like you said,
when you were in the States, you know of many people that have had.
Multiple miscarriages, sorry, go home.
But, going through each and every one of those is devastating on your system.
Hormonally, emotionally, physically, in so many different ways and you're
supposed to just get on with it.
So, yeah, that's, that's, that's such a tough thing.
So, it was writing about it, writing about it in your book that actually
triggered you just to then process that.
How did that look like for you?
I was writing and I thought, okay, I'm going to write this
part about the miscarriage.
This is coming up.
And I thought, okay.
And I cried so much.
It was the most healing thing I could have done for myself was to write
this book on many levels, besides being a journey of self discovery,
I was like, I was able to truly heal in ways that I hadn't allowed myself.
To do because I was in that you're writing this down and you're reliving
it and you can feel it, you know, emotionally physically you all of it.
It's just surrounding you again And then you go back through and you edit the
book and you're you're doing that again So multiple times I was reliving these
moments and while it was really hard.
It was so therapeutic
Yeah, yeah, it's just getting it out of your system and you don't realize
and just how much you just stuff away, tuck away to deal with it at
another time and yeah, and that all impacts on your health overall as well.
Oh,
Yeah, you mentioned about the power of community surrounding you and helping
you during that time in Lebanon.
Just share with us some more about that because I think this is another thing
that in many countries we've lost.
I know here in New Zealand, we used to have very powerful communities,
and now we just see more individuals.
And so just share with us a value of having a community wrap around you.
Yeah, absolutely.
It's something that we're missing in the United States as well
on so many different levels.
And when it comes to something like having a miscarriage and being able to
have that community around you, you know, it was just people stopping by.
We lived on a compound, so we all lived and worked in the same place.
So it was very, much sort of like, you know, A college sort of situation,
um, where everyone's living close together, but people just stopping
by, how are you doing people bringing me food or, just sitting with me
while I slept or whatever, you know?
And then my husband had to leave.
So just knowing that there were other people there with me, that I wasn't alone.
And I think so often people are alone.
It's something that is universally a problem.
You know a real tragedy now Um that was really highlighted I think by
the pandemic, is this aloneness and I think it's really important as a global
community to find community again
Yeah.
because as one you're not, we are, we're stronger together, you
know, to use that adage, we are really just stronger together and
we can help lift each other up.
And there are times, you know, where you're the one that needs to be lifted up.
And then there's the times where you can be the one doing that lifting.
And it's been something that I've taken through all of our travels.
We've moved seven times internationally and it's finding that community
because your life happens regardless of where you are in the world.
Yeah.
You're right there and I just feel like, we have so many elderly people who really
paved the way for us in so many different ways who, like you say, are sitting
in homes by themselves without that beautiful community wrapped around them.
And, to me, that's just such a tragedy, isn't it?
And then I see so many young people who are leaving home and again are out on
their own trying to fend for themselves.
So yeah, that's something very, very dear to my heart.
And, uh, you know, it does worry me.
So I hope we're moving more back into that let's, yeah, let's be a community.
Let's help each other in whatever way we can.
Yeah, you also experienced that with your father in law, didn't you, when
he passed away while you were overseas?
Mm hmm.
Yeah, you know, the community really rallied around us because we were far
away, and my husband, Found out that his father was ill and he traveled quickly and
then he came back, um, down to Curacao and we were in the Southern Caribbean then.
And, when his dad did pass away, our community was there, like, just, every
day, all the meals bringing brought to us, you know, so we didn't have to think about
these, all the little things of life, and it helped me be able to support my husband
more as well, because of the support that was being brought in by the community.
And, you know, that was wonderful.
We had a situation in when we lived in Cambodia, where my daughter got very ill.
And we had to leave and again the community.
Was right there too.
We had guests and they came and took care of our guests and we got on a
plane and went to Singapore to, to get my daughter the help that she needed.
And, and, you know, people were just there to take care of us.
yeah, special, isn't it?
Yeah, beautiful.
So what is it about loss that has made your family stronger?
How do you feel like you as a family have grown from that?
I think we've had a lot of loss in the last few years,
collectively and as a family.
And I think that, you know, it has brought us to this point where we are
just closer and I don't really know how to describe how, but we, through
that, we became a much stronger unit.
And I think part of that was writing the book and sort of going through
these things with my husband again, and talking about them brought us closer
together, experiencing the, even being far away from other communities, we had
to rely on ourselves, even though we had our community, certainly, but we didn't
have our parents with us or our best friends or, you know, anything like that.
So just finding that way together.
Through those difficult times has really brought us closer together.
It's also just being able to step back, isn't it?
And just being able to see, like you say, everything that you've gone
through and how incredibly strong and resilient you are to be able
to have got through all of that.
Because sometimes we forget to do that.
And we forget, we, with sort of thinking, focusing on the things
that we're not perhaps so great at and forgetting to acknowledge those.
incredible times that we've just, you know, knuckled down and done what
we needed to, to get through them.
I think that's a very important to do.
Also.
so right on that.
So right.
Helen, because I, I often will do that.
Well, I didn't do this.
I haven't accomplished that or whatever.
And then I, again, I keep going back to writing the book, but it was this
very therapeutic thing and it made me realize, I was like, there's been a
whole lot, a whole lot that's happened.
Yeah, when you put it down on paper and you go, holy heck.
Yeah
Hey, look, I imagine Vashti, being a diplomat's wife, people perceive
you as strong and capable and able to navigate anything that comes your way.
So how was it for you having a chronic illness and all that that entails,
were you able to be open with people straight off the bat about what
you were facing or was it something that you sort of kept quite, uh, to
yourself about just within your family?
Because I think it's about relationships.
Often you have to develop the relationships and the trust to be
able to open up and share, don't you?
So how was that for you?
Yeah, absolutely.
That's a really good question because I was diagnosed with Lyme disease in
2015 when we had just moved back to the US for a tour in the in the US.
And You know, I didn't tell a lot of people because with invisible illness I
It's really hard for people to understand.
You know, like, oh, I don't, I don't have the energy to do this today, or I,
I'm sorry, you know, you're cancelling all the time, you're feeling kind of
bad about a lot of different things, and, and people don't necessarily
understand that because they can't see it.
No, but you look good,
Uh, many years of healing.
Thank you.
but you know, also did,
you don't look sick.
yes, exactly.
And that was the point I was making, because that is what
I had in my journey a lot.
Oh, you don't look sick.
Exactly.
You know, you're, Oh, wow.
Okay.
Well, I, you're right.
Like, you don't look sick.
So they don't understand and they just kind of give you this
look and then kind of move on.
Right.
And they think that the next time you're going to be fine.
You know, the next time they ask you to do something or, just
why you're not feeling well.
Um, so that was really hard.
And I didn't tell a lot of people, when we moved, we had to
live in Texas for a little while.
And I was away from my care providers, which was also really difficult, uh, to,
to, to navigate living far away from the people that you really need help from.
And then when we moved to Nigeria, I really, really struggled.
I was, Um, I was telling myself that I wasn't as sick as I really was, and
really just trying to be strong.
Like you said, you know, Oh, you're a diplomat's wife.
You can just go on.
You're strong.
You can navigate this next, this next thing, this next big move.
And I didn't do very well at that.
Honestly, I was really struggling mentally and physically when we moved there.
And so then it was about like, okay, now I've moved to this new
place and I'm the sick person.
And I don't really want to tell people that I'm the sick person, but I kind of
have to, but I don't know any of these people, so who do I trust with that?
Because it's a big thing, and so it was really challenging.
I struggled a lot, and eventually I made a really good group of friends
who did know, um, but not, certainly I didn't share it widely, I wouldn't say.
Yeah.
How stressful is it being a diplomat's wife?
Like you say, we have this perception, but is there a lot of stress wrapped in there?
I would say so.
I mean, people think, oh, you're a diplomat's wife, you're going to parties
and leading, you know, the high life and it's all of these lovely things.
And certainly there are elements to that sometimes.
But we've also lived in, in a lot of different places that aren't
necessarily the easiest places to live.
And they all have wonderful things about them, but they had their own stressors.
Living in a war zone in Baghdad certainly was not like parties and
sipping champagne all the time.
You know, you have incoming rocket fire and, and, and.
People trying to hurt you on, on a regular basis.
And Lebanon was also that we had a lot of really stressful regional
things happening while we live there.
Um, besides our own things happening.
And then, no, so I say, yeah, there's a lot of stress because I'm always
moving every two to three years.
So you're making friends, you're putting the effort out there, knowing that
you're building this community that is in many ways, transient and, thankfully,
due to amazing technology, we can keep in touch much easier nowadays.
So these have become lifelong friends, but it's that reinventing yourself every
couple of years gets very, very tiring.
Yeah, I can't even imagine what that must be like.
Yeah, it's like putting on a mask, isn't it?
And you know, and just, uh, yeah, that's tough.
How do you feel that impacted your health?
Having to do that over such a long period of time?
I think it didn't help.
.Like I said, I made great friends.
I think that the really big player in my health was living in really
high stress And so, I've been in this situation for many, many years.
And that, as we know, stress drives disease.
I was already set up, yeah, for sure.
And I was already set up to have, autoimmune issues just,
environmental factors, genetic factors, all of those things that play into it.
I already had sort of set the stage for that.
And then when I was diagnosed with Lyme disease and reactivated Epstein Barr
virus, which is like mono, um, you know, it's no surprise when you look back at
my story, like, of course I got sick, I was really like stressed all the time.
Um, but I also thrive in that environment, which is something
that I've had to really work on.
I get that because, you know, I was considered like, you know.
type high achiever, you know, go, go, go, go, go.
Yeah.
Uh, you know, I paid a price for that.
I would hit the wall and just crash.
And in New Zealand, you mentioned Lyme's disease.
Yeah.
That's not routinely tested for here because we don't
really have that tech here.
So I actually only see.
where I'm living now, years ago stumbled across a, functional medicine
doctor who actually tested for that.
And then that's how I knew that I had been exposed to that.
But before that, everybody just thought I was a little bit kooky because I
just rollercoasted from one thing to another and never said a word.
It seemed healthy and I was like, so what led you into functional
medicine, which you're doing now?
Tell us about that journey because that's pretty special.
Yeah.
So once I was diagnosed with Lyme and ABV and then the, like two years later
Hashimoto's autoimmune thyroiditis, I had had my two kids by that point and I was
like, I'm going to make a change and I want to help people on a different level.
I had been working in international development, so definitely working on
that macro level of, of helping others.
But I thought I really want to help other people like me, because like you said,
there's so many people who are sick, but can't get the answers that they need.
One, because people don't believe that, that the Lyme is a thing,
or they don't test for it or like, Oh, it doesn't occur here.
Just using Lyme as an example, it can
Hmm.
illness.
Um, and so that I started, working as a health coach.
I got my certification and it was during my trip back to the U S from Nigeria
when I was really struggling with my health that I met a doctor, um, Dr.
Fox, who had joined my doctor's practice.
And we started talking and we had such a similar mindset and I started to see my
healing mindset shift because I had been sick for a couple of years at that point
and I thought, I'm never getting better.
You know how it is, right?
Like
You're in the midst of it.
you're in the midst of it.
You're feeling terrible all the time.
You take care five steps forward and 12 steps back, you know,
and it just isn't working.
And so I thought I, I was working with Dr.
Fox at that point.
And I thought I can get better.
You know, it was having somebody who really wasn't just there to
help me because my Lyme doctor had certainly helped me start making
those steps to getting better.
But it was this.
hearing me and listening to me and saying, you've got this
and the hope you nailed it.
The hope that is there that I can get better.
And so then I just kept going with I'm, I'm a chronic learner,
Yeah, I understand that.
of all things.
And so I was like, I'm just going to continue, and be, I would've loved to
gone to like naturopathic school, but with our lifestyle that didn't really work out.
And so, I found the program through School of Applied Functional Medicine.
I thought, this is wonderful.
I can help people at a, at a deeper level and so many people
want to just know that there's hope while they're moving forward in their journey,
which is where I think the coaching Aspect is so special to be with that
person through the journey through between the doctor's visits and really helping
them Navigate it every step of the way.
That's the thing too, because you're often so exhausted and your mind's in
a fog and you're just, when you've been chronically unwell for multiple years,
it's very difficult to be a really strong, active person advocate for yourself,
and so that's the benefit of having somebody walk alongside of you, isn't it?
And actually hear you and believe you and, and, and guide you towards that light.
Yeah,
absolutely, because when you're in it, you can't get out of it.
And so it's really important to have that person that can help you.
And that's where I now work with Dr.
Fox in this model where he, he's a, a really, good Lyme chronic illness doctor.
And so he sees the patients and then in between, I'm seeing them in between their
visits with him and we're finding such good success that way, because people
are having that hand, they're handheld by me, to, to help them walk that journey.
And I get the journey so often, I don't have to have the same illness as
everybody, but I understand how you can just be mired down in the thick of it.
There's a grief in that too, that a lot of people don't realize they're
experiencing and it's the grief of not being able to live a normal healthy life
and do all the things that you want to do, that your mind says you can do, but
your body just absolutely says no way.
And then you go down a whole really mental health
Mmm.
Spiral as well, because when you're not well, it doesn't affect you just
physically, it affects every aspect of your body, in your mind, in your being.
And so, yeah, just, I, I find such, it's what I'm supposed to be doing is helping
other people, advocating for other people.
And then when I wrote the book, I thought this is another way to reach
even more people and to provide that hope and inspiration that you can
come through this on the other side.
And that's so valuable.
I think so many people, need, need those really grassroots stories
where, you don't hold back.
You share because you know that in sharing your warts and all that,
that's going to help somebody else know that, they can get through it also.
It's such a valuable thing.
Are you feeling lost, anxious, unsure of how to navigate the
loss of your beautiful loved one.
I don't know where to head next.
Yeah, I get that.
Then you may be interested in the new offering I've developed
A Letter of Hope and Aroha.
To help you find out who you are right here and now.
And how you can navigate that without being on that emotional roller
coaster feeling out of control.
That's a feeling I really disliked after Tahl and then Adrian died.
So I've developed an eight week support program where each week you
get an email of what worked for me.
As well as other tried and true tools to help with grief, it's a beautiful
calming, mean healing resource that I think you're really going to like.
And that you can use in your everyday life to find out what
works for you and what doesn't.
And the great thing is you find yourself feeling stronger and more in
control, so you can work out what you want life to look like going forward.
So with this sounds like something you would like to check out, head
over to my website, or check out the link in the episode notes, you're
looking for A Letter of Hope & Aroha.
For those listeners who don't understand what functional medicine is, can you just
explain for us now how that all works?
Yeah, so really when functional medicine, we're looking at the root
cause of what is causing your illness In the health care system, especially
in the US health care system.
I'm going to speak to that Is there's so much that is
a band aid
Hmm.
Right?
So they don't really dig in.
So I am like a health detective, right?
We're going to figure out what is going on with your health.
And that might be using specialized testing outside of what you
would find at your regular lab.
We do different kinds of tests.
Uh, functional tests, but it's really continuing to work on your
case as we look for the root cause.
And that might be that we're uncovering layers of things.
This often happens where you think that you've gotten to one thing, but you
come to another layer and another layer.
And so it's continuing to work through that so that we can
help you create optimal health.
A lot of experiences are exactly that, embedding themselves as layers and,
and that could have been happening from, you know, such a young age,
very early in your childhood, and you just go on and on and on.
Right.
What do you see as some of the main root causes that are
showing up over and over again?
Hmm.
Stress.
Um, over and over.
Of course, there's genetic factors, but those are, you can be born with
any sort of set of genetic factors, but it doesn't have to be expressed.
We, they are expressed when we turn them on with things like
stress, environmental things.
That can be poor air quality that could be living in a really,
unhealthy environment, with, uh, with in a spouse or partner sort of
environment, it can be poor air quality.
When I lived in Lagos, it was terrible air quality.
I was sick all the time.
That was definitely helping, not helping me, uh, get better.
So I would say, and then loneliness.
Is another driver of disease, which we talked about not having community.
People get sick too, they do withdraw, especially when they're
being told over and over again.
It's just in your mind.
Nobody's believing them.
Nobody's understanding what's going on with them.
And so, yeah, they can just withdraw into
they withdraw and then they just get sicker because they don't
have anyone there supporting them.
Um, so those are like sort of the, the, those broader things that we see as root
cause more and more everyone is complex.
That is what we're seeing.
So, Yeah.
It could be that you have hormone imbalance that is a root cause of
something, but at that you're, that's not the root cause because there's something
that's causing your hormone imbalance.
And a lot of that goes back to your gut health.
And when we live in the society that we do, our gut health takes a huge
Hit.
turn for the worse, right?
Because it's impacted by everything from what we're consuming food wise,
what we're consuming visually, our conversations with people and
it's where our immune system sits.
So, it's often it goes back to the gut.
Yeah.
then those other environmental factors.
Yeah.
Just, um, Just on the topic of stress, I remember when I was doing a before
school check program where we did this massive screening for four year
olds just to ensure they could start school in the best possible health.
Part of that we were doing, educating people on the stress associated with
Domestic violence and, even, with somebody carrying a baby and being
in a violent situation and the stress acted as cortisol, destroying the
brain cells in these little babies.
And so right from the get go, they were on the back foot and it was like really
good for a lot of our men to understand.
But women as well, but also men to understand the effects of, of, of yelling
and treating somebody in such a way and how that was affecting their partner
and also their, their unborn children.
Yeah.
Everything now we're seeing that is happening in utero is really
shocking, all the toxins that we're finding in the umbilical cord.
Now that is setting up generations of children for chronic illness.
You've already set the stage for that along with things like
you're saying, domestic violence, all of these things play into
setting up a society that will be.
Chronically ill.
So what's the solution?
Small question.
Community.
Absolutely
If only it was that easy though, right?
I mean, I think it is stress reduction.
I think it's community.
I, I think it is getting away from this mindset of, I must do everything on my
own and being okay with asking for help.
We are not taught to ask for help.
I also, this person.
can see my reaction here, can't you?
Cause that's taken me many, many years.
Like I'm nearly 60 and I would just say now I'm only comfortable
now asking people for help.
Yeah, it's something that we were not taught to do, and so there are just,
there are layers to, to getting to a healthier society, stopping using all
the pesticides and the herbicides, but those are huge issues that we Um,
personally cannot probably take on.
Right?
You know, you can educate around it.
You can definitely reduce your toxic burden, but we're just so ensnared
in this toxicity that's around us all the time now, on varying
levels, reducing your screen time.
Another thing that, is hugely beneficial for your health.
But I think as individuals it's it's looking at like how can I help others?
How can I be of service?
I
How can I create a better world?
In my part of the world.
You know, cause it starts with us.
It starts with individuals.
I share with people, with listeners, something that's very, key to my life is
that, especially after when my daughter died, being able to go out and help others
actually was so healing for me because it gave me a break from grief But it
also enabled me to be helping people that weren't so fortunate in another area.
I was helping youth get to and from practices because they didn't have
transport or supportive families and we were feeding them at the
practice and that sort of thing.
And honestly, the benefits from just doing something as simple as that, Oh,
it used to just fill my heart every single time and, and now I still do it,
my highlight of my week is when I go out and I just say, no, how can I help?
Yeah.
use me.
Yeah.
So yeah, I agree with you.
That's so healing.
And I think.
If we encourage more people to do that, because often they think, Oh,
I'm so sick, I can't go and do that.
But there's always something somebody can do, even if it's just for one hour.
For sure.
It, we don't know the impact we're having on other people, You know, and how we're
helping or, and, and how that helps us.
Like we've, we've just been saying, it is, it's bene it's mutually beneficial.
And it's just something I think that we can do to make our world better,
Hmm.
you know, not just our health, but our world is, is by helping those
that, like you said, might not be as fortunate or have their own issues.
It doesn't have to mirror the same issue that you're facing.
But it's just putting yourself out there in that way.
Yeah, I agree with you first time and I think we do have groups of people now
shifting and being aware of the importance of this and I think that started with the
pandemic and people having to take stock of their life and was it really important
to think you know, allowing them to be happy, especially when they got to spend
more time at home with their family again.
And, for some people that never, ever had that.
And just the joy of just being able to just, hang out with your kids and your
spouse and quality time without there always being something to rush onto.
So I think that was, very, very important.
Yeah.
That's how you share.
Yeah, share with us about your book now.
Just tell us what your book is about because it's a, it's a book like
I said on so many different levels and, and I'm sure people reading
this are going to just love it.
So what, what
Yeah, it kind of it reaches across so many spectrums of the human experience.
And so I hope it really touches so many people.
So the name of my book is Passports and Parasites and it's my memoir
of the last 15 years of my life, I could probably write a whole other
memoir in my childhood, but that would have been a whole nother book.
And so it really takes off in Baghdad, and you, you find me, you know, flying
on a helicopter going into this war zone.
And, and then it, it, it could be one part travel, adventure story,
but I've really wove my life our life into it and it became the story of
me of us my family and you You know is also like the story of me and my
best friend who have not lived close together in decades really but that That
friendship, and so If you love travel adventure definitely pick up the book.
You won't You won't be disappointed and if you're looking for the hope
and inspiration in your own life and healing journey I cover that as well.
It really is a book that I think can touch a lot of people on a lot of
different levels And so it really takes off in Baghdad, and you,
you find me, you know, flying on a helicopter going into this war zone.
And, and then it, it, it could be one part travel, adventure story,
but I've really wove my life our life into it and it became the story of
me of us my family and you You know is also like the story of me and my
best friend who have not lived close together in decades really but that That
friendship, and so If you love travel adventure definitely pick up the book.
You won't You won't be disappointed and if you're looking for the hope
and inspiration in your own life and healing journey I cover that as well.
It really is a book that I think can touch a lot of people
on a lot of different levels
What were your greatest learnings from writing this book?
Yeah,
That I had a lot of healing that I still needed to do, I
thought, oh, I'm I'm in remission.
I'm good, you know, and then I thought wow I I had so much to work through Knowing
I found myself thinking wow, I really love this stressful environment I could do
this writing the book was a whole nother stressful environment, you know that I
pushed myself right to the edge again And i'm like, okay Take stock of this, Vashti.
Like, this is something that you can continue to work on.
It's how you are taking care of yourself.
I help other people take care of themselves every day.
But continuing to do that work for me, the power of friendship, the power
of community, that's something that I hadn't Really, Helen, I had known and
had been paramount in my life, but I had never realized the importance of it in
my own journey until I wrote the book.
And I was like, well, there it is.
This is the theme of the book.
It's community.
and actually it's unravelling life, isn't it, and taking it back down to keeping
things simple as to what is important.
Yeah.
We really learned with the pandemic, I think as well, you know, very difficult
time, but there are a lot of real takeaways to, to this and, and that's,
the book came out of after the pandemic.
Um, and you read about the pandemic part of the book in the book as well.
And, you know, it's.
you were, where were you when that broke out?
You were in Nigeria,
are in Nigeria and we, the state department went on what
is called authorized departure.
They will, they authorize you to leave post and they pay for
you to go to your home country.
And usually that is when civil unrest or, a huge natural disaster
has happened or something that, country by country that may happen.
And this was the first time it was global.
So like everywhere that we have embassies and consulates in the
world, we're on authorized departure.
And we had wanted to stay, but, we weren't sure how it
was going to go down there.
And the medical care in Nigeria is, is not optimal by any stretch of the imagination.
And we decided, for my health specifically, it would probably
be beneficial to leave because we didn't know if something
happened, would we be able to be.
Meta fact or evacuated out, right?
There was everybody was trying to be evacuated across the world, right?
There was no safer place than one place than the other So, you know It was like
what do I do and I really we went around and around as a family about what to
do because we wanted to stay together, but ultimately I made the decision
to leave with our, our two daughters and go to the Seattle area while my
husband stayed behind, because he's essential staff and he couldn't leave.
I
Oh, really?
So you were separated?
Yeah, we were separated, and that was a really difficult decision, and
I went home to Seattle, home ish.
I don't really have a home, but, and it was wonderful there because Dr.
Fox is in Seattle, my mom, my best friend.
So there were people that were there, not that we were seeing everybody,
but it was still nice to be there.
And that's where I really had a complete breakdown, though.
I was like the safest I should have ever been.
And that's where I completely, well, I was, I was diagnosed with PTSD.
It was all the years of the things that had happened, not dealing with them.
Wow.
in this quarantine house that I was in with my daughters.
So then long, long story short.
Several months went by, my husband's tour in Nigeria ended, he came to the U.
S.
and then we went down to Curaçao in the Dutch Caribbean, just off the
coast of Venezuela and Colombia.
And that's where we were during the pandemic.
From 2020 until the 2023.
So
to be, is it?
Yeah.
there, there were no cases on the island.
But they also weren't allowing any commercial airlines in and that
works well for an island for a point.
Right.
And then, because it was an island and it's warm all the
time, we were able to be outside.
And that was really when we found we fell in love with mountain biking.
You were saying, you know, you finding these things that you're
doing as a family and you're so right.
We We really came together as family, spending so much time together, being
able to go out and we got the last couple of bikes that were being sold
at the bike store on the island, you know, and we're just like, okay,
we're going to go ride our bikes now.
And, and, so it was a nice place.
The weather was always, lovely for the most part.
So lots of outdoor time.
We, we really were able to.
Go on with life for the most part as if it was normal, there were a few times that
the kids were in school when the numbers would get too high or whatever, because
the hospital would get overwhelmed.
And so they would then, put restrictions in place, for the population of the
Island because they just couldn't, where are you going to send people?
the, the hospital was completely overwhelmed.
But overall it was, you you know, but, It's really an excellent
place to be during COVID.
And one of my favorite things during that time was just walking.
I was lucky.
I lived in a rural area that was very close to a town,
so, I had the best of both.
But I could just walk these beaches.
Back country roads and there was no traffic and there was nobody on them
and I would just walk and and I'd find a different way to walk each time and
so I would be discovering new things but it was just, it was magical.
I
was.
treasure, treasure, treasure that time.
And, and not having all the.
I mean, there was plenty of stress, but not having the Go, go, go.
I think was hugely beneficial.
And now I find myself as we're obviously back in this go, go, go.
And I'm like, I don't want to do this.
And it's good to recognize that because that's what we were not recognizing.
We just thought that was life, get on, deal with it.
But now we know that it can be different.
So we, can try and choose to do things differently.
Vashti, what does your life look like for you now, today?
Today, it's we're back in the United States.
We live in the DC area for a couple of years, and it's it's
pretty much just right now.
It's promoting the book.
It's people asking me if I'm writing another book.
It's getting, great reviews, which is just exciting.
And all you can ask for as an author is to, to touch other people's lives.
And you know, I'm just a mom and a business owner and a wife.
And in my, my, my day to day is pretty much like everybody else.
Never just.
No, you're right.
You're right.
Never just exactly.
But yeah, I mean, it's, it's pretty much like every day, every day life right now.
And it's a, it's interesting to come back.
After being away for, we were gone for 6 years.
And.
I don't know.
There's so much to take away from when you live in other places
and then incorporating that into how you, you live your life.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah.
So I always finish up our interviews with a couple of questions.
So the first question to you is, what is the best thing that has happened to you
so far today, right here, now, today?
Today.
My husband had the day off and we were able to just spend
some extra time together, which has been really, really nice.
So that is probably been the best thing to happen today.
And then, and, and talking to you, this has been lovely.
Oh, great.
I was just going to say, and here I am interrupting your time
No, he has gone off.
He's gone off to get the kids.
But, no, it was, it's just nice when you have these sort of unexpected moments,
you know, um, together and, and something that we've really learned to value
Oh, that's lovely.
I like that.
What is something that you are most grateful for?
this life that I never saw living.
It has been filled with ups and downs.
And, lots of different stressors, but it's, it's been magical in so many ways
or is, I wouldn't change it for anything.
I know, to be in the point you are today, being able to serve others,
help others on their own journey, you couldn't have done that unless
you went through that whole process.
Journey yourself and yeah, yeah.
So sometimes we have to just wear it all, don't we?
To get to the, what we really need to be doing.
Yeah, I feel that too.
When you have moments in your day that are not going so
well and they turn to custard.
What is your go to to pivot out of that?
Oh, that's a really good question.
Um, oftentimes I really try to just recenter myself.
I'm a big fan of breathing exercises and just really trying to
recenter myself and knowing that.
Things are going to be okay or whatever.
Isn't my fault or whatever, you know?
So I would say breathing exercises and getting outside and, and take it
a few minutes to go for a walk and just breathe some fresh air and just
separate myself from, from whatever it might be going on, you know,
Yeah, great.
What would you like to leave our listeners with?
What parting comments?
If you're in the thick of it, there is, really there's hope and.
At the end of the tunnel, you can, get through this.
There are other people out there like you.
I think it's so important to know that you're not alone.
Oh, great.
I like this.
my message for people is that they are not alone.
Yeah, that's a good message.
So I will have the links in the episode notes to your fabulous book,
which is Passports and Parasites.
And I've, I've downloaded it to read because like I was, I was
reading all these reviews and going, Oh, I have to read this.
Oh,
And I'm sorry I didn't get to it before I interviewed you.
So, you know, like I have.
Yeah.
I often have so many books to read and then I think, oh man,
I can completely understand.
I hope you love it.
You know, it is everything.
And so I just, I, I've been overwhelmed with the reviews and the response.
It's been more than I ever dreamed of.
So I, I really hope you love it.
yeah, I think I will because those, those reviews are incredible and
very deserving by the sounds of it.
So I can't wait and I'll let you know, I'll let you know,
yes, please do.
share with our listeners how they can reach you if they want
to right now before the, yeah.
Great.
You can find me at my website, VashtaiConahaley.
com.
That's where you will learn about the work I do with other
people, how I serve other people.
You can also find your free chapter to the book there.
If you want to, buy the book, you can go on Amazon.
It's available across all Amazon platforms, soon to
be on other booksellers.
And, you can also find me on Instagram at VashtaiConahaley.
Great.
And you're going to do an audio version.
I am.
That is coming up.
So you, yes, multiple people have asked me about that and I really wanted to get
it done, but I'm hoping by the spring that we'll have that audible version out.
Fantastic.
Vashti, I really appreciate you sharing your incredible experiences
with us and that journey that's led you to doing what you're doing now in
functional medicine and, and coaching others through that journey themselves.
And you know, I'm sure there's a lot of people who are going to be listening
that can really relate to the information that you've shared today and you've
just given us all so much hope, so much inspiration and I'm really, really
grateful for that and for your time today.
Yeah.
Thank you so much for having me on.
It's been such a pleasure.