Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's finally got the solution for
Speaker 1: your lazier lethargic dog. If he needs a little pepinist step,
Speaker 1: have him chugged the new pet friendly energy drink Power Howl.
Speaker 2: Oh God, give.
Speaker 1: Your pep permanent zuomies with an ice cold can of
Speaker 1: Power Howl. Available now through Laser Stories for segment where
Speaker 1: we read weird news stories around the globe, just like
Speaker 1: everyone else does, except we've got a laser and those
Speaker 1: other labordontals do not. This first Laser Stories out of
Speaker 1: the United Kingdom, forty six year old guy named Martin
Speaker 1: Barnes did a bunch of hard drugs and then decided
Speaker 1: that that's how we're doing laser stories. And then he
Speaker 1: decided he was going to get in his car and
Speaker 1: teach bad drivers a lesson. That's right, Martin thought he
Speaker 1: could educate the world on the perils of driving wall
Speaker 1: on drugs by getting onto a free and deliberately crashing
Speaker 1: into cars wall on drugs.
Speaker 2: Okay, pretty sure that they covered that in my health
Speaker 2: class in high school. Yeah, that's why you don't do it.
Speaker 2: It's why you say no.
Speaker 1: It was so dumb. He was in a silver BMW
Speaker 1: one twenty five, and according to reports, he called emergency
Speaker 1: services while he was doing it and told them he
Speaker 1: also wanted to crash into bad drivers to teach them
Speaker 1: a lesson as well.
Speaker 2: Uh huh.
Speaker 1: The police say his rampage lasted about a half an
Speaker 1: hour and he slammed into nine vehicles.
Speaker 2: Half an hour is a long time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like, I'll double that in ten minutes. That's a party,
Speaker 1: I mean. And that's so Luckily no one was seriously
Speaker 1: hurt or died, and Martin was finally caught and arrested.
Speaker 1: When he got taken to jail, he told cops he
Speaker 1: was sick of people quote tailgating, lane hogging, and driving slow.
Speaker 2: You know what that they all learned their lessons those
Speaker 2: nine people.
Speaker 1: Hopefully all those offenders will hear this story and finally
Speaker 1: learn the dangers of driving while on drugs. What a
Speaker 1: great start. It made sense after he did all those drugs.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we were also on drugs, got it.
Speaker 1: This next laser stories out of Wisconsin, a forty two
Speaker 1: year old man got arrested at his home in Green
Speaker 1: Bay recently shoving his daughter because she hadn't done her chores. Dude,
Speaker 1: and it doesn't sound like she was hurt. But the
Speaker 1: reason why this story is making news is because the
Speaker 1: man had his name legally changed a few years ago
Speaker 1: to D's Nuts. Yes, the joke that never gets old, right, ladies.
Speaker 2: I mean, there's just some people that shouldn't be fathers.
Speaker 1: You know, it's spelled d easy n Uts the correct way.
Speaker 1: And according to reports, D's Nuts had apparently been doing
Speaker 1: some drinking.
Speaker 2: Ah man, I can't believe he would make even more portrait.
Speaker 1: Cops say he appeared to be highly intoxicated when they
Speaker 1: showed up around ten pm and was out on his
Speaker 1: porch in his pajama bottoms with no shirt off.
Speaker 2: Huh yeah, yeah, that sounds right.
Speaker 1: The police report says they quote walked up to the
Speaker 1: top of the stairs and took D'SE Nuts into custody.
Speaker 2: I just want to know how does D's Nuts go
Speaker 2: in for like a parent teacher conference, Like, what does
Speaker 2: that go do? He probably doesn't go. Yes, that's a
Speaker 2: good point, and mister Nuts, we need to talk to
Speaker 2: you about your daughter.
Speaker 1: So they arrested him for battery and disorderly conduct. And
Speaker 1: if you're wondering, these nuts, wasn't his first name change
Speaker 1: what Back in twenty eleven, he changed it to d
Speaker 1: Z nuts with just one E, so everyone was calling
Speaker 1: him dead does nuts.
Speaker 2: What a mistake.
Speaker 1: You know, you's got to be clear about me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he admitted the joke was not landing because people weren't
Speaker 1: saying it right. So that's when he decided to add
Speaker 1: a second E in twenty seventeen. Oh, oh my god, he's
Speaker 1: gonna add nouts their stories out of Trader who was
Speaker 1: wants me to go here? Store Employees at the Trader
Speaker 1: Joe's grocery store chains say that in the last week
Speaker 1: they've had a huge influx of customers, not for anything
Speaker 1: food or drink related, but because the mini totes that
Speaker 1: they're selling are so darn cute. Oh my god, showing
Speaker 1: the photo to my host right now.
Speaker 2: I was just at Trader Joe's last night and I
Speaker 2: looked for these and they don't have them.
Speaker 1: I can't yet them. If you want to see them,
Speaker 1: they're up on our Insta stories right now at Brook
Speaker 1: and Jeffrey. But the limited edition canvas totes sell for
Speaker 1: two dollars and ninety nine cents. They come in four
Speaker 1: colors and have taken social media by storm. Garnering more
Speaker 1: than twelve million views on TikTok.
Speaker 2: I follow a trader Joe's Instagram account like a fan lady,
Speaker 2: and she found them like on eBay for like one
Speaker 2: thousand dollars.
Speaker 1: Well that's what people are doing now, posting them on
Speaker 1: eBay with prices ranging from five they say, to five
Speaker 1: hundred bucks.
Speaker 2: I see all four.
Speaker 1: There was one seller reported who said he sold eight
Speaker 1: sets for one hundred and forty five bucks apiece.
Speaker 2: Why why are people doing that?
Speaker 1: I don't understand us selling them or buying them, buying.
Speaker 2: Them like they're two ninety nine, they're super cute.
Speaker 1: Well they're cool on TikTok right now, so go viral
Speaker 1: if you have that bag. The page of another seller
Speaker 1: show that one had been sold off for four hundred
Speaker 1: and ninety nine dollars and ninety nine cents, with two
Speaker 1: more remaining if you're interested. So if you see them
Speaker 1: out there, you may want to get them. They are
Speaker 1: considered the new Stanley Cup for bags. Thinking this next
Speaker 1: Laser stories out of Hippity Hoppity Headquarters. No Easter is
Speaker 1: still two weeks out, but you don't have to wait
Speaker 1: that long to smell like Easter like a smell. I
Speaker 1: say that because a new product is grabbing the attention
Speaker 1: of Easter fans everywhere, talking about Peep's body spray. Yes,
Speaker 1: bottles of it have been spotted on shelves that discount
Speaker 1: chain retailers for five dollars apiece. They've got it in
Speaker 1: two different colors, pink and yellow. The yellow one is
Speaker 1: marshmallow scented, and the pink is strawberry cream cream. Okay,
Speaker 1: strawberry cream would probably smell pretty.
Speaker 2: It's as natural as the actual peeps are.
Speaker 1: In side note, the yellow one has a yellow peep
Speaker 1: on the label, but the liquid inside is blue, so
Speaker 1: it's a little bit confusing.
Speaker 2: I bet they made it yellow originally, and they're like,
Speaker 2: that looks too much.
Speaker 1: Like rub down. Anyway. It might be meant for kids,
Speaker 1: but don't let that stop you. There's also peep scented
Speaker 1: body wash too.
Speaker 2: My new scent to attract my husband.
Speaker 1: Barbrel ever pulls up smell like a peep.
Speaker 2: I would be so mad.
Speaker 1: If you really want to drown yourself in it, go
Speaker 1: ahead and buy it. In related news, the National Confectioners
Speaker 1: Association says our obsession with candy is at an all
Speaker 1: time high. Apparently the US hit a new record and
Speaker 1: spent forty eight billion dollars on candy just last year.
Speaker 1: Because it's the only thing that's so cham.
Speaker 2: I think we're just eating our emotions. We're all coming down,
Speaker 2: you know, last four years.
Speaker 1: And by the way, if you run across some peep's
Speaker 1: body butter, this guy wants some and he is willing
Speaker 1: to pay a premium price for it.
Speaker 2: I bet he.
Speaker 1: Helps him get that thong into place. That's what he says,
Speaker 1: and that's sound means Laz's stories has come to an
Speaker 1: end for the day. We'll do it again, same time
Speaker 1: on Friday
Speaker 2: Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.