Speaker 1: What's the easiest way to burn a thousand calories? Leave
Speaker 1: the pizza in the oven?
Speaker 2: What does a cannibal eat for a snack? Finger food? Oh?
Speaker 1: I didn't know allow any Tyrannosaurus on the arc. He
Speaker 1: was afraid of shipwrecks.
Speaker 2: I don't understand why people celebrate pie Day. It's an
Speaker 2: irrational holiday.
Speaker 1: Believe it or not. One of my greatest mentors was
Speaker 1: a crash test dummy. He made a huge impact on
Speaker 1: my life.
Speaker 2: My wife was mad. I went to a hero convention,
Speaker 2: so I put a cape on her. She was super mad.
Speaker 1: I call my son my little neutron star because he's
Speaker 1: extremely dense.
Speaker 2: My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list.
Speaker 2: Now I can't read anything.
Speaker 1: What do the movies The Titanic and The Sixth Sense
Speaker 1: have in common? I see did people.
Speaker 2: What might you call a bird that is always complaining?
Speaker 2: Anton Raven?
Speaker 1: Whoever stole my depression medication? I hope you're happy? Now?
Speaker 2: What do you call a nun trying to steal your drum?
Speaker 2: A conundrum?
Speaker 1: I've been to hundreds of Vietnamese restaurants, and I recall
Speaker 1: each one in detail. I have a photographic memory.
Speaker 2: I ate too many Girl Scout cookies and I feel greedy,
Speaker 2: but I really want samoa.
Speaker 1: We'll continue with more Dad humor after this quick pause.
Speaker 1: Who is the best smelling Pope? Popery?
Speaker 2: What did bees say to bees that are naughty? Beehive?
Speaker 1: Did you hear about the guy who invented life savers?
Speaker 1: They say he made a minute.
Speaker 2: What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear? Loafers?
Speaker 1: Why did the pharmacist walk on her tiptoes She didn't
Speaker 1: want to wake the sleeping pills?
Speaker 2: What do you call a Transylvanian antelope? Vladi impala?
Speaker 1: What the word when you blame your thank you for everything? Asphalt?
Speaker 2: You know what the pie said when I tried to
Speaker 2: fight him, You want a piece of me.
Speaker 1: There are two kennibals eating a clown. One turns to
Speaker 1: the other and it says, does this taste funny to you?
Speaker 2: Lost my two pay at the seaside, combed over the
Speaker 2: beach until I found it again.
Speaker 1: There's so many attractions at a water park you can
Speaker 1: just see and do them all. I'm Bob Jeffy and
Speaker 1: I'm Montgomery Jones. We have a bonus dad joke for you.
Speaker 1: At the end of the episode. Our mission is to
Speaker 1: make the world a happier place, one joke at a time.
Speaker 1: Let's spread the joy or pain together. Bye for now
Speaker 1: and I'll catch you tomorrow. Thank you for your loyalty.
Speaker 2: Looking for more dad joke humor to share, then subscribe
Speaker 2: to our new weekly email newsletter. It's our weekly roundup
Speaker 2: of the best jokes, memes, and humor for you to enjoy.
Speaker 2: Spread the laughs and groans and sign up today. Check
Speaker 2: the sign up link in the show notes page or
Speaker 2: visit Daily dadjokespodcast dot com. The Daily Dad Jokes podcast
Speaker 2: is produced by Classic Studios. See the show notes page
Speaker 2: for social media links and joke credits. Check out our
Speaker 2: other podcasts in our network at classicstudios dot com. How
Speaker 2: do you hire a horse? Put up a ladder?