Speaker 1: What is the city you cannot live in? Electricity?
Speaker 2: What is the opposite of a Debbie Downer a beth amphetamine?
Speaker 1: Did you hear about the birds that broke into a house?
Speaker 1: It was a robin.
Speaker 2: My pregnant wife insisted she get a window installed on
Speaker 2: her uterus. She now has a womb with a view.
Speaker 1: Which bathroom appliance would be the worst life preserver? The sink.
Speaker 2: My pet mouse, Elvis, died last night. He was caught
Speaker 2: in a trap.
Speaker 1: Wife got mad and left because she caught me cheating
Speaker 1: on my diet, eating pasta in bed, been feeling camelone.
Speaker 2: How do you get a country girl's attention attractor?
Speaker 1: What did the hematologists say to the patient? Be positive?
Speaker 2: My friend was showing me as tool shed and pointed
Speaker 2: to a ladder. That's my step ladder, he said, I
Speaker 2: never knew my real ladder.
Speaker 1: The kid's bashfully admitted to me that they don't like
Speaker 1: the way grandma smells. I replied, it's okay, guys. The
Speaker 1: funeral home will be here soon to pick her up.
Speaker 2: My wife is afraid she's lost all our bed linen.
Speaker 2: She's scared sheetless.
Speaker 1: I have some racing geese for sale. If anybody fancies
Speaker 1: a quick gander. Laughter continues shortly after this brief ad break.
Speaker 2: Just been to a new Italian Indian fusion restaurant, Papa Doms.
Speaker 1: My dad just told me he was going to buy
Speaker 1: some new plants for our front yard. I told him
Speaker 1: to start a hedge fund so he doesn't go over budget.
Speaker 2: A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The
Speaker 2: duck walks under it.
Speaker 1: What does cake and baseball have in common? They both
Speaker 1: need a batter.
Speaker 2: What's ninety degrees but covered with ice? The North and
Speaker 2: South Poles.
Speaker 1: I was frightened when I saw the energy drinks at
Speaker 1: the gas station this morning. There were a lot of
Speaker 1: monsters in there.
Speaker 2: A parrot qualified for a gymnastics competition. What did the
Speaker 2: judges think of its floor routine? It was technically sound,
Speaker 2: but ultimately quite rude to flip a bird that many times.
Speaker 1: What's Tyson Fury's favorite drink punch?
Speaker 2: What's the difference between Russell Wilson and O. J. Simpson? O? J.
Speaker 2: Simpson had a better run with a bronco.
Speaker 1: Dad's off his rocker. Glad he's up and getting exercise.
Speaker 2: I just got robbed in Pittsburgh bunch of Steelers.
Speaker 1: A policeman retired recently. He gave it a rist I'm
Speaker 1: Bob Jeffy and I'm Montgomery Jones. There's a bonus dad
Speaker 1: joke waiting for you at the end of the episode.
Speaker 1: Let's spread some happiness or pain with these jokes. Wishing
Speaker 1: you a great day and I'll be back with more
Speaker 1: jokes tomorrow. Thank you for tuning in.
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Speaker 2: Do you know why no one has ever seen elephants
Speaker 2: hiding behind trees? Because they are good at it?