Speaker 1: Hey, this is Anny and Samantha. I'm welcome to Stefan
Speaker 1: never told you a production of iHeartRadio. And today we
Speaker 1: thought we would do a look back on when Samantha
Speaker 1: and I first got our start, our anniversary, our podiversary
Speaker 1: as you.
Speaker 2: Really pod podcast of oursary podcast and it's more difficult, Okay, perfect.
Speaker 1: That sounds about that's our evolution. No, but yeah, March
Speaker 1: twenty seconds was depending on when your listening, well it was,
Speaker 1: it happened in the past. Oh my gosh. It was
Speaker 1: the anniversary of our endeavor together as our coach are
Speaker 1: together on this podcast. We launched in twenty nineteen, and
Speaker 1: I just thought we would take a look look back
Speaker 1: at that and see how things have changed, how we
Speaker 1: feel about it. A brief content warning because when we
Speaker 1: both started, we came out the gates strong with the
Speaker 1: mini series on Trauma. It was a thirteen episode mini series.
Speaker 1: I don't think we're gonna go too in depth into anything,
Speaker 1: but you never know. It will be talked about at
Speaker 1: least yes, but yeah, I know we've told this story before,
Speaker 1: but very briefly after Bridget left there was a period
Speaker 1: where I was just having guest co host all the time,
Speaker 1: and we were looking for a new host. We had
Speaker 1: like of spreadsheets of people we were asking, and I
Speaker 1: believe that it just so happened. I came to a
Speaker 1: cheese night, a cheese and wine night at your place,
Speaker 1: and it just sort of came up, like maybe because
Speaker 1: I was you were doing your thing where you were
Speaker 1: asking me questions and I was like, oh, I've had
Speaker 1: this drama in my life. It just sort of came up,
Speaker 1: like where do we go to talk about that?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yes, and I know if you want to explain. I
Speaker 1: know you've talked about it before, but you've told the
Speaker 1: listeners before. But you were good friends are good friends
Speaker 1: with previous host Caroline? Yes?
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I definitely. Again, this is one of those
Speaker 2: things when you go to a college around the same
Speaker 2: year you realize you have a lot more in common
Speaker 2: and then like people crossover and it becomes a small
Speaker 2: world essentially, because I actually knew Kristin as well previously,
Speaker 2: because her older sister and I are very close and
Speaker 2: we met at Uga University of Georgia, so we kind
Speaker 2: of met through that avenue and that was kind of like, oh,
Speaker 2: she's a secondary friend of mine essentially because sister of
Speaker 2: my good friend who she's gonna come and we're gonna
Speaker 2: go see lay this this year. I'm really excited because
Speaker 2: we love those we love that musical anyway, Anna, and
Speaker 2: are so excited. But and on the other end, I
Speaker 2: met Caroline. I'm through friend of a friend who I
Speaker 2: had known for a while that because of Uga, like
Speaker 2: we actually had same friend group in Athens, which is
Speaker 2: where Uga is. And then we came to Atlanta and
Speaker 2: we all started hanging out because again, you know, you
Speaker 2: leave college and how do you make friends. You have
Speaker 2: to reconnect. And I met Caroline, and from I think
Speaker 2: our first interaction, which was was like this was when
Speaker 2: I was actually sociable and cute and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: let's be friends whatever whatnot. And I realized that she
Speaker 2: was working with Kristen and so I was like, oh
Speaker 2: my god, you know, small world, let's be friends. And
Speaker 2: from then on, I met you through her, which the
Speaker 2: first time we met was at her she had just
Speaker 2: finished her book unladylike at the time, and she had
Speaker 2: literally kind of just holed away and I had not
Speaker 2: seen her, and she decided to have a giant celebration
Speaker 2: two because she was actually finished and I met you
Speaker 2: and Sarah and I met y'all at the same time,
Speaker 2: and then we started hanging out slowly. I'm trying to
Speaker 2: remember how you ended up getting invited to my cheese night, Like,
Speaker 2: I'm sure I invited you, but I can't remember the beforehand.
Speaker 2: What's that beforehand?
Speaker 1: Well, okay, first of all, I remember meeting you because
Speaker 1: you did the thing that I complained about with people
Speaker 1: with dogs, where you were like I have to go
Speaker 1: because yes, And it was like right outside, I was like,
Speaker 1: you haven't bit here that long.
Speaker 2: Yes, I was making a quick escape because my like
Speaker 2: introvert self was creeping and like overtaking that I need friends.
Speaker 2: But at that age, I think what was I I
Speaker 2: was like, right, thirty five? How long ago was this?
Speaker 2: It was five six years ago?
Speaker 1: Who'd been like, yeah, twenty seventeen, maybe.
Speaker 2: Twenty seventeen, So I was thirty seven, so I was
Speaker 2: getting late thirties at this point, and I was like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm done. I will be here for a second. There's
Speaker 2: a lot of people I don't know, and there was
Speaker 2: tons of people that I did not know very well,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, I am liking this lesson less so
Speaker 2: I will stay here to celebrate with you for a
Speaker 2: good hour and a half, because you also came in lait, miss,
Speaker 2: so don't even start with me. You and Sarah came
Speaker 2: in late because y'all are late people and I'm an
Speaker 2: on time person. So after a couple hours, like, I'm
Speaker 2: gone bye. I got a dog's take care of and
Speaker 2: I think i'd already my friend's already know I'll find
Speaker 2: an excuse, and I love my dog, so let's go.
Speaker 2: So I left and I didn't interact with you very
Speaker 2: long at that point. I remember Caroline had pointed you
Speaker 2: out and said, you really should. I wish you would
Speaker 2: have been able to hang out to get to know them.
Speaker 2: They had gotten there late, and I believe y'all come
Speaker 2: from a different location of having a good time.
Speaker 1: Well, the way it happened for me, this is absolutely true,
Speaker 1: and it's gonna sound like a lie. I was walking
Speaker 1: home from our office, and yes, our coworker friend Sarah,
Speaker 1: she just passed by me on the street and stopped
Speaker 1: and yelled get in the car, and I did. But
Speaker 1: I had no idea what was happening. So I did
Speaker 1: not come from any good times. I was coming from
Speaker 1: work and I didn't even know we were going to
Speaker 1: this until Sarah explained it.
Speaker 2: That's hilarious. That's about right, because I didn't know that part.
Speaker 2: Like all these things happen, I'm trying to still remember
Speaker 2: in between that and the Cheese Night, because it was
Speaker 2: definitely like, I know, y'all came to the brewery and
Speaker 2: we got to really like you were very quick to
Speaker 2: be like, hey, we're the We're the Sad Dad Club essentially.
Speaker 1: And we were all hanging out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we were all hanging out at the brewery on
Speaker 2: Father's Day. I was working and you two came in
Speaker 2: and then that like led to other things including y'all
Speaker 2: getting a brewery tour, having Savor come to that as well,
Speaker 2: so so many things, but I don't remember from where
Speaker 2: how we got to that to being at the Cheese
Speaker 2: Night where like making you bear your soul to me
Speaker 2: essentially because I get to know people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean making me is pretty stung. But you
Speaker 1: definitely were like if you would like and I was like,
Speaker 1: I guess I would. I think what it was a
Speaker 1: it was a bunch of things happened where we would
Speaker 1: run into each other. I think the Savor video thing,
Speaker 1: I'd forgotten about that where the other podcast on Savor
Speaker 1: we did a kind of video at the brewery Samantha
Speaker 1: worked out at the time, And we also had a
Speaker 1: couple of other events where we were both there in
Speaker 1: some of your friends that I didn't really know at
Speaker 1: the time. Didn't we get you were there when we
Speaker 1: went to Southern Comfort, right, yes?
Speaker 2: And I forgot you were there because Dominique, a good
Speaker 2: friend of mine, also was there and she had actually
Speaker 2: had pictures of you, and I was like, I forgot,
Speaker 2: I had forgotten all of this. And it was a
Speaker 2: good time. We had a great time. I remember there
Speaker 2: was another night where it wasn't such a good time
Speaker 2: because it was chaos. It was chaos. So we had
Speaker 2: a couple of nights, yes, we did. So. Southern Comfort
Speaker 2: is an Atlanta establishment that has now gone unfortunately that
Speaker 2: essentially is a truck stop that turns into a hipster
Speaker 2: karaoke night on Wednesdays, So I mean on Wednesdays on
Speaker 2: Sundays oddly enough, and we when I was actually cool
Speaker 2: and hung out outside of my house, we would actually go.
Speaker 2: But yeah, it's been we had so many hangouts. Like
Speaker 2: everything is blurred, Everything is blurred, and then it came
Speaker 2: to that night of me having because I loved having
Speaker 2: cheese nights at my apartment, having a bunch of people
Speaker 2: over and just having a good night, and you stayed
Speaker 2: later than everyone. Callen was there too at one point,
Speaker 2: and then she left.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, uh.
Speaker 2: And then you and I just sat and talked about
Speaker 2: what was happening, you being a part of the podcast,
Speaker 2: what that looked like, because I actually was it. Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: I guess I had met you previously in between all this,
Speaker 2: when you had started with Bridget Yeah yeah, and Caroline yes,
Speaker 2: in Atlanta, and I forgot all of this, but like
Speaker 2: it was previously before, way before, I guess, a year before,
Speaker 2: two years before, so we must have been hanging out
Speaker 2: for a good minute after the fact. And then we
Speaker 2: just started talking about what you'd experienced, the job that
Speaker 2: I have, what I've experienced, and then we talked about,
Speaker 2: you know, the me too movement, and I think I
Speaker 2: had already been reading on Twitter where people were getting
Speaker 2: annoyed by the word trigger trigger warning, and I was
Speaker 2: like that, so, like, I get people not liking catchphrases
Speaker 2: essentially or things that are overused, but this is actually
Speaker 2: necessary and I think should have been something from the jump,
Speaker 2: because we talked about like TV ratings and music readings
Speaker 2: and how that came about eventually, but like having that
Speaker 2: conversation of what that looks like and trying to talk about,
Speaker 2: let's talk about something that's really important to you and
Speaker 2: to me as well, is the fact that this is
Speaker 2: something that I can walk with you in your trauma
Speaker 2: process and we can do this as being a transparent
Speaker 2: duo in a way that I can be your support
Speaker 2: as a social work friend, so I know this route
Speaker 2: as well as talk about my own stuff and then
Speaker 2: just explore what that looks like on a deeper meaning.
Speaker 2: And that was essentially it. I think at this point
Speaker 2: is when I was like, and also, I'm crying every
Speaker 2: day from my work. Let me see if I can
Speaker 2: find something less traumatic.
Speaker 1: And so we met up at a local restaurant and
Speaker 1: we came up with an outline of episodes we wanted
Speaker 1: to do. It quickly ballooned into more than that, but
Speaker 1: we decided, Okay, we're going to do this mini series
Speaker 1: on trauma, and and we were very looking back at it,
Speaker 1: I do think we were very good at being like, Okay,
Speaker 1: this is going to be really difficult for us, and
Speaker 1: so we had things in there that we don't do
Speaker 1: anymore but were important for that mini series of like
Speaker 1: checking in what are you doing to take care of yourself?
Speaker 1: They were very intensive episodes in terms of the interviews
Speaker 1: we did and then the way we would make the outline.
Speaker 1: We would get a transcript and then we would search
Speaker 1: for quotes, and so I know you did, but I
Speaker 1: was looking back over the outlines and they were pretty intensive, right.
Speaker 2: I remember thinking like as I was going through the outline,
Speaker 2: seeing all the different subjects that we had and the
Speaker 2: conversations that we had with different people, which I'm like, man,
Speaker 2: we had some really great guests. Yeah, and then I'm like,
Speaker 2: we have to replay these because these were so good, Like,
Speaker 2: these were so good, I think we should be replayed
Speaker 2: every two years. But I've been through. I was like yeah.
Speaker 2: And that was when Andrew was our producer at the time.
Speaker 2: Poor dude. I'm like, are you okay? Are you hearing
Speaker 2: our stories? Are you traumatized for us? Okay? Great with us,
Speaker 2: rather but like going through those transcripts and bring it
Speaker 2: to us and be like, Okay, here it is. This
Speaker 2: is what it looks like. W how do you want
Speaker 2: to do this? And being really like open to everything,
Speaker 2: we asked like everything we went needed to do with
Speaker 2: the bonus episodes because it is a lot of work
Speaker 2: and it was extra for him with those interviews pasting
Speaker 2: back and forth because we were like, we want this here,
Speaker 2: we want this here, which now our interviews are a
Speaker 2: little different because we just do it directly and go
Speaker 2: along with it. Right those trauma episodes, we definitely had
Speaker 2: such a plan that we wanted to make sure that
Speaker 2: everything was highlighted and nothing was watered down. So we
Speaker 2: took all those things that we thought were really significant
Speaker 2: into those conversations. But then we would try to come
Speaker 2: back with some of those interviews again. Like my favorite
Speaker 2: still is that bonus episode did with Renee and Rebecca,
Speaker 2: and we spliced the two interviews so you could hear
Speaker 2: the personal experience with the research and data. I think
Speaker 2: it's still one of our best episodes and we barely
Speaker 2: talked in it.
Speaker 1: And I used that a lot in our book. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I referred back to it so that that episode sticks
Speaker 1: up to me too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think that's something that I think it
Speaker 2: was so important because not only was Rebecca willing to
Speaker 2: share her experience which many women, many victims rather and
Speaker 2: survivors have had, but also having Renee who had done
Speaker 2: all the work and research about the backlog of rape
Speaker 2: kits and coming in being like, yeah, this is verified.
Speaker 2: This is absolutely what is happening in the system, and
Speaker 2: not much has changed over five years. Nothing has really changed,
Speaker 2: And I think that was something that was important to us.
Speaker 2: Our transparency with the therapy session, which actually I feel
Speaker 2: like that was a catalyst to what I'm like, we
Speaker 2: need to do this to do because we wanted to
Speaker 2: normalize trauma therapy. We wanted to open and not that
Speaker 2: you don't need therapy for everything, you should have therapy
Speaker 2: for everything, but having a conversation because one of the
Speaker 2: first things you had told me was that you had
Speaker 2: done therapy once it was so traumatic that you could
Speaker 2: not do it again. Like you're like, I'd have to
Speaker 2: be in a good place. I do think I need it,
Speaker 2: but these are the things that I can't do, and
Speaker 2: me sitting here going like, oh my god, let's talk
Speaker 2: about this because this is You're not the only one,
Speaker 2: and this is what this looks like, and we need
Speaker 2: to have that depth of conversation of why it's important
Speaker 2: to have a good therapist, and we made sure to
Speaker 2: have that as part of our episode, as well as
Speaker 2: the fact that I did the research on finding doctor
Speaker 2: Coleman and her specialty as well as her availability. And
Speaker 2: I think she did an amazing I really really did
Speaker 2: like her. When I stopped doing therapy, I wanted to
Speaker 2: come back to her, but she was overbooked. I was like,
Speaker 2: of course she is. She just she's just good and
Speaker 2: she works a lot with trauma and survivors, and I
Speaker 2: thought that was so important. And also she works with
Speaker 2: the queer community as well as a lot of marginalized communities.
Speaker 2: And it was not all these things that were like, yeah,
Speaker 2: this is the requirement, let's let's have this on top
Speaker 2: of the fact that therapy has kind of has changed,
Speaker 2: like that was the beginning of telehealth. Yeah, honestly, like
Speaker 2: at the forefront of it, I think better help was coming,
Speaker 2: but it wasn't accessible to everyone. And not that we're
Speaker 2: not that's not an ad, that's not a sponsor. We
Speaker 2: know there's a lot of problems with it. You need
Speaker 2: to be very very careful of who you pick and
Speaker 2: choose for your therapy, and you need to be able
Speaker 2: to shop around, like that's a worldwide truth when it
Speaker 2: comes to therapists in general, and you have to find
Speaker 2: someone who was specialized for you. But all of that
Speaker 2: to say is that that's one of the things that
Speaker 2: we wanted to talk about, how to find a good
Speaker 2: thing therapist, what it looks like to have good therapy,
Speaker 2: and the fact that sometimes you just get stuck, and
Speaker 2: not all of it's going to be emotional. Some of
Speaker 2: it is emotional. I think both of ours were emotional
Speaker 2: for two different reasons, but we wanted to also be
Speaker 2: the example and what that therapy session may look like.
Speaker 2: And doctor Coleman was a trooper. I swear like she
Speaker 2: was like, let's go, and she she was making sure
Speaker 2: that we were okay throughout the process as well, and
Speaker 2: I love that. But I think that honestly was the
Speaker 2: beginning of like, Okay, you've been through this trauma thing,
Speaker 2: this was your response, and this is where we are,
Speaker 2: and this is how we're talking about it as a society.
Speaker 2: Let's break this down a little bit. I don't think
Speaker 2: it was like from my job, my introduction to podcasts.
Speaker 2: I felt comfortable in that it was at least in
Speaker 2: my field right. I don't think I could have come
Speaker 2: in talking about religious trauma, because that's a whole different conversation,
Speaker 2: you know, like coming in and having that kind of
Speaker 2: break down and having a moment to be like, Okay, yes,
Speaker 2: this is something I know. This is something that I've seen.
Speaker 2: And I can talk to you about grooming as a
Speaker 2: professional because I've seen it. I can tell you what
Speaker 2: it looks like. I've experienced that you've experienced it. But
Speaker 2: let's talk about the professional level. Let's talk about c
Speaker 2: SEC or the commercially sexually explorted children and what that
Speaker 2: looks like. And we need to have this better view
Speaker 2: of trafficking because this and I hate the word romanticizing,
Speaker 2: but it is kind of a romanticizing of what sex
Speaker 2: trafficking looks like today and the fact that we need
Speaker 2: like no, no, no, no, no, we need to have a
Speaker 2: true breakdown of what this looks like because it's an
Speaker 2: intersectional issue that people don't want to see. People just
Speaker 2: see victims. Oh no, help the victims. And it's all
Speaker 2: poor white children, poor white women who just got kidnapped.
Speaker 2: And that's like sometimes that happens, sure, but that's the
Speaker 2: majority of the case. And this is an intersectional issue,
Speaker 2: which oftentimes is like dropped by the justice system because
Speaker 2: they of that one type and do not believe any
Speaker 2: other types exist, which is a problem. So all these
Speaker 2: things were like, these are so important, let's just build
Speaker 2: on it. So I got so excited because these are
Speaker 2: things that I have dealt with but didn't have a
Speaker 2: platform to talk about or talk through. So I feel
Speaker 2: like that was a good introduction, a heavy introduction, but
Speaker 2: good for me, especially as I was like stepping away
Speaker 2: from actual practice into like this medium, which was and
Speaker 2: I think I joked about this before because Caroline a
Speaker 2: long time ago, and I sat on her patio. I
Speaker 2: was crying it on her patio because I was distraught
Speaker 2: because a I was making thirty two thousand, No, at
Speaker 2: that point, there was maybe twenty nine thousand a year
Speaker 2: living in Atlanta and not knowing how to move on
Speaker 2: from all the debt that I had trying to do
Speaker 2: social work, as well as the fact that I could
Speaker 2: not imagine anything else because I had that guilt that
Speaker 2: I had to help everyone, help the children, help the marginalized.
Speaker 2: I have to help them, and that meant sacrificing my
Speaker 2: mental health, my physical health. So all of that and
Speaker 2: sitting there and she kind of was like, you want
Speaker 2: to do podcasting? And I was like, no, oh my god,
Speaker 2: I could never. Like I actually said that to her
Speaker 2: jump cut to cut too, like literally five years later,
Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, I think I do. Actually, I'll just
Speaker 2: take yours s takes. I'm just kidding, but like having
Speaker 2: this conversation because I could not imagine what that looked like,
Speaker 2: being an advocate without sacrificing my physical and mental well being,
Speaker 2: and then coming to that, to being introduced into a platform,
Speaker 2: to this platform and being able to talk about and
Speaker 2: correct misinformation, hopefully correct some disinformation, and then also bring
Speaker 2: awareness to this with you, like with you having me
Speaker 2: having all the facts and the research behind it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, looking back at it, it's we did. We did
Speaker 1: a great job of finding people to talk to. We
Speaker 1: had amazing interviews, cutting those interviews together across this thirteen
Speaker 1: episode mini series, but also being we gave those facts,
Speaker 1: but we also gave kind of the the emotional part
Speaker 1: of it are our own personal part of it. And
Speaker 1: one of the reasons why it stands out to me
Speaker 1: is that if you're asking, well, why don't you do
Speaker 1: that anymore? Is because it took forever, like we started
Speaker 1: working on it months before it came out, and when
Speaker 1: you have a show that publishes as much as we do,
Speaker 1: that can be impossible. Are very very difficult to do
Speaker 1: because at the time we didn't know Samantha was going
Speaker 1: to stay on.
Speaker 2: So oh, apparently I did because I was pushing real hard.
Speaker 1: You did. You kept joking about it, and you know,
Speaker 1: I that's not to say I love what we do now,
Speaker 1: It's just like the realities of our workload is different.
Speaker 1: It's different.
Speaker 2: Literally when from two episodes a week to five to
Speaker 2: six as well as your one episode would saver two
Speaker 2: two yep, everything double tripled since then.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, and I think, you know, we there are
Speaker 1: ways we could maybe do it again in the future.
Speaker 1: I'm just it would be difficult. It would be really difficult.
Speaker 1: But when I think about this, it also really did
Speaker 1: change my life. I mean, not only did I get you, yeah,
Speaker 1: but I did. That was kind of my first therapy,
Speaker 1: like actual sticking with therapy for for a long time.
Speaker 1: And then there are just so many things things that
Speaker 1: I think about that I still think about that I
Speaker 1: learned from that from that mini series. There are people
Speaker 1: I still think about people that we interviewed that I
Speaker 1: still just stuck with me obviously because when I did
Speaker 1: the rape Kit chapter, I referenced it because that was
Speaker 1: so that was such a powerful episode to me. And
Speaker 1: then we talked about like hiking. I still think about
Speaker 1: that interview we did. They're still around, we should be
Speaker 1: back in. We should read Jessica. I think she's in
Speaker 1: Florida now though, well you know the podcast it back.
Speaker 2: Would we still have to play that game with Renee,
Speaker 2: I know Suffragetto. Yeah, yes, maybe we'll do a long
Speaker 2: running series on something less dramatic and just be games
Speaker 2: and we just play them.
Speaker 1: I would love that. I would love that. Somehow we
Speaker 1: would make it dramatic. I don't know how.
Speaker 2: I'm really good at that.
Speaker 1: We are well anyway. Also, I just want to shout
Speaker 1: out before I forget, because we don't say it enough.
Speaker 1: But when Christina came on much at later, Christina, you
Speaker 1: have been amazing and valuable. We love you. Every person
Speaker 1: we've worked with has been so great and listening. I
Speaker 1: remember after I did my therapy thing, Andrew came in
Speaker 1: and like sat with me for a minute, like so
Speaker 1: very kind. People were lucky to do because these topics
Speaker 1: can be really difficult. And I will say one of
Speaker 1: the things when I think back now is that I,
Speaker 1: first of all, didn't know I was a sexual yet
Speaker 1: when we did this, I think I was starting to
Speaker 1: think maybe, but I didn't know that. So that has
Speaker 1: really changed. And some of the stuff I talk about
Speaker 1: in those like personally have my understanding of them have
Speaker 1: shifted because of that. Another thing I will say is that,
Speaker 1: and I know I said this in the Trauma Mini series,
Speaker 1: but I some things I like, I'm afraid people had
Speaker 1: come from a small town, they would know who I
Speaker 1: was talking about, right, And I was kind of living
Speaker 1: under this hope no one will find it and no
Speaker 1: one will listen to it if they do, which I
Speaker 1: think is sort of showing how I never use social
Speaker 1: media but like everyone else does, which is, you know, fine.
Speaker 1: But it was when my mom read the book. Actually,
Speaker 1: the thing that scared me more than her reading the
Speaker 1: book was she would listen to this mini series. So
Speaker 1: I think what I talk about in here is I
Speaker 1: hate to compare traumas in my life, but I think
Speaker 1: when I talk about and here scarred me way worse.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And she would.
Speaker 1: Be more upset by that, and so after she was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I should go listen to your podcast, and I was like,
Speaker 1: please don't, please, don't, please don't. So I think that
Speaker 1: is one of the things that I'm glad that we
Speaker 1: did it. There's nothing I regret, but some nights I
Speaker 1: lay awake thinking about it. Right.
Speaker 2: I remember having that conversation with you about who's going
Speaker 2: to listen and both of us having a moment of like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, what if have parents listen? But between
Speaker 2: the two of us, your parents are more likely to
Speaker 2: listen than mine, your mother specifically, And it was also
Speaker 2: before your father's death. I remember thinking that it was
Speaker 2: around your father's death, but it wasn't hadn't happened yet,
Speaker 2: so you still had a lot of that trauma lingering
Speaker 2: over you as well, and the relationships with some of
Speaker 2: your family members were rocky even then. I'm like, I
Speaker 2: know it's still constant, but like you've gotten leaps and
Speaker 2: bounds into where you were then versus and especially with
Speaker 2: like you be able to talk to them, to where
Speaker 2: you are today. And again, like part of that was
Speaker 2: your sexuality and trying to figure all that out, which
Speaker 2: I was learning with you. I was like, oh, I
Speaker 2: thought I knew. Apparently I didn't because you I think
Speaker 2: you said it to me actually on one day the
Speaker 2: couch thing, and I was like, oh, geese nine. I
Speaker 2: was like, this is what it is, right, and you
Speaker 2: were like, you didn't want to tell me I was wrong.
Speaker 2: But after we started, I was like, oh, I was hong, okay, cool, cool.
Speaker 1: You're like wow.
Speaker 2: And then growing through that because I think you were
Speaker 2: trying to figure all of that out, like, and that's
Speaker 2: something we talk about in here about coping and good
Speaker 2: coping and coming to being the survivor what that looks like,
Speaker 2: but trying to decipher what was trauma, what is something
Speaker 2: that it's just you, like that's part of your identity,
Speaker 2: and you were really having a kind of a come
Speaker 2: to I guess I'm trying to figure out because it
Speaker 2: wasn't like dramatic, but understanding that just because there's trauma
Speaker 2: related to that doesn't mean it negates that identity. Like
Speaker 2: all these things were swirling. I remember with you trying
Speaker 2: to get to that point, and like part of that
Speaker 2: is also discovering still a lot of that and also
Speaker 2: about the fluidity of it all, which is awesome because
Speaker 2: like spectrums are better, you know, in conversations when we
Speaker 2: talk about all of that, and then finding identity is
Speaker 2: also a gloring thing. It's like it was a whole process,
Speaker 2: and I'm glad I got to stick around because I
Speaker 2: wouldn't have been able to see that because even though
Speaker 2: we were talking, you were still hinting at it in
Speaker 2: the Trauma series. It didn't come out till much later
Speaker 2: and all like, oh, I'm learning, I've learned a lot,
Speaker 2: still learning a lot. I love that and finding that
Speaker 2: journey in itself because we did we got to examine
Speaker 2: a lot about ourselves, but also being able to be
Speaker 2: clinical about it a little bit. Having that data was
Speaker 2: a good separation and also like a validation in what
Speaker 2: we were trying to feel here out.
Speaker 1: I believe one of the people we interviewed called it mesearch.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, they did, You're right, which is great, which
Speaker 2: is a great reference to what we did. And I'm
Speaker 2: proud of what we did. I think I'll look at
Speaker 2: that series is more of like, yeah, that that defined
Speaker 2: us as a show.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm proud of it too. And the thing we
Speaker 1: joke about it a lot on here, but it's absolutely true.
Speaker 1: There's a running joke the podcasters prayers, please don't judge
Speaker 1: me for my first fifty episode, which you know sounds
Speaker 1: like a lot, But you came in never doing this before,
Speaker 1: and this was what we tackled, and you did a
Speaker 1: great job. And I, like, I thought I was worried
Speaker 1: I would look back and be proud but still be
Speaker 1: like oh, But instead I was like, you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: we were still nervous kind of. I don't think you
Speaker 1: could really hear it, but I could tell just based
Speaker 1: on for me how anxious I was like, because you
Speaker 1: never know how someone's going to react to something like
Speaker 1: that and what messages you're going to get. And by
Speaker 1: the way, you listeners are amazing.
Speaker 2: Right, That was the other part of this. It was
Speaker 2: like I came in not knowing how to do this,
Speaker 2: and I think immediately I was like, I need a
Speaker 2: vocal coach and I need to acting coach. Who are
Speaker 2: and I still haven't like obvious, But the amount of
Speaker 2: people who are criticizing me was so overwhelming, but the
Speaker 2: amount of people who were backing me was just conquered
Speaker 2: all of that, Like the people who are longtime listeners
Speaker 2: who were supporting me then and signing in so excited
Speaker 2: you're on, so glad you got to stay. We loved
Speaker 2: your portion like that outdid the criticism for the most part.
Speaker 2: Like of course I'm still always like the self esteem issues.
Speaker 2: But having the listeners, you listeners really backing what we
Speaker 2: were doing and seeing where we were coming from and
Speaker 2: understanding and empathizing with what we were trying to show
Speaker 2: in a time that felt really really rocky, and it
Speaker 2: was Trump era. I mean, it was a rough time
Speaker 2: and we were all broken, and we wanted to talk
Speaker 2: about something that the reason why things like his presidency,
Speaker 2: his actions and his supporters' actions were so traumatic, and
Speaker 2: why things like the trauma series, trigger warnings therapy were
Speaker 2: so important, and so having people who understood that, Yes,
Speaker 2: we lost, we lost some, that's how it happens, but
Speaker 2: we gained so much more and the people who had
Speaker 2: always stood by us to the people who discovered us
Speaker 2: like it was it was. It felt like a victory
Speaker 2: and it was so uplifting that it kept us going
Speaker 2: and it makes us make keeps us going to have
Speaker 2: conversations and honest conversations like this and not feel afraid.
Speaker 2: We talked about in cells. Oh my god, I know
Speaker 2: a few times.
Speaker 1: I know. Yeah, yeah, podcasting can feel really lonely sometimes
Speaker 1: just because it's you and me Samantha coming from our
Speaker 1: homes over computer and you put it out there and
Speaker 1: you're like, I don't know, People like is it good?
Speaker 1: If is it worth anything? And I can hear you
Speaker 1: saying like you should put some value in your own work,
Speaker 1: and I do, but it's nice to have someone else
Speaker 1: be like, yes, that's had some value to me, right, yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean, but to be honest, when it comes to podcasting,
Speaker 2: we're not doing this for us.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, exactly.
Speaker 2: It can't be that way. If it's that way, of course,
Speaker 2: we are selfishly picking things that are of interest to
Speaker 2: us or things that that affects us as marginalized people's
Speaker 2: and then talking about it because we want to talk
Speaker 2: about it because we think it's important bringing people who
Speaker 2: have things that they need to say, have things that
Speaker 2: they need to share.
Speaker 1: Like that.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, But the podcast is like there's ownership by the listeners,
Speaker 2: and it should be that way that we want you
Speaker 2: to tell us if something is wrong, or if something
Speaker 2: is a misinformation, or if something is something that you
Speaker 2: feel like you can't find and you need us to
Speaker 2: look deeper into it, or if you love it and
Speaker 2: you want us talk about it so we can highlight it.
Speaker 2: We love that. Like that's the fact of the matter
Speaker 2: is it is lonely and sometimes I forget what we
Speaker 2: do because I'm like, oh, yeah, this is my job.
Speaker 2: But to have the listeners, you our family, essentially the
Speaker 2: Smanty family come back with. But these are the things
Speaker 2: that are also important to us. That is the bigger picture,
Speaker 2: and we have to be a part of that bigger picture.
Speaker 1: Absolutely. And yeah, just thank you yeah to everyone who
Speaker 1: supported us on that that mini series on Samantha's coming on.
Speaker 2: I mean that was a true to us. I'm like,
Speaker 2: if you can stick this out, then we're good.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, thank you. I'm so glad Samantha this worked.
Speaker 2: I know, I'm very grateful. Happy podcast aversary.
Speaker 1: Happy podcast diversary to you. We didn't get each other gifts, alas,
Speaker 1: there's still.
Speaker 2: Time special time. Yeah, technically we have one more day
Speaker 2: because today is the twenty first of March.
Speaker 1: As we record. Yes. Well, also I'm not too picky.
Speaker 1: If it's close enough, whatever, well, it will work it out.
Speaker 2: Technically, you still have a Christmas present for me, right then,
Speaker 2: just say that's the anniversary problem.
Speaker 1: No no, no, no, no no no, I would never.
Speaker 2: I'm okay with it.
Speaker 1: Yes, I think we probably will do a playlist of
Speaker 1: that Trauma mini series soon. I think that'd be a
Speaker 1: good idea, yes, to bring it back. But in the meantime,
Speaker 1: Truly listeners, thank you so much. Whether you're Newish Oldish listener,
Speaker 1: as a new when you found the podcast, older you've
Speaker 1: been around for a while with the podcast. Either way,
Speaker 1: we appreciate you so much. We're happy to have you
Speaker 1: and you mean you mean the world to us. So
Speaker 1: thank you. If you would like to contact us about anything,
Speaker 1: you can our emails stephaniea mom Stuff at iHeartMedia dot com.
Speaker 1: You can find us on Twitter at mom Stuff podcast,
Speaker 1: or on Instagram and TikTok at stuff I've Never told you.
Speaker 1: We have a tea public store, and we have a
Speaker 1: book you can get wherever you get your books. Thanks
Speaker 1: to always too, our super producer Christina, our executive producer Maya,
Speaker 1: and our Concurtor Joey.
Speaker 2: Thank you, we love you, We.
Speaker 1: Love you so much, and thanks to you for listening
Speaker 1: Stuff I Ever told you. Protection of my Heart Radio
Speaker 1: for more podcast from my Heart radio. You can check
Speaker 1: out the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts wherever you listen to
Speaker 1: your favorite shows.