Speaker 1: Confession I can't take back earl arms.
Speaker 2: Mouse Speaker text into seventy eight five nine two says,
Speaker 2: sometimes when I'm being intimate with my husband, I'll imagine
Speaker 2: that he's Captain crunch.
Speaker 3: Oh, out of all the captains, that's the one you're
Speaker 3: going with, Uberry.
Speaker 2: I guess it's better than like a three way with
Speaker 2: snap crackling Pop. But it really seems like something you
Speaker 2: should be talking to your therapist about. But if you
Speaker 2: can't afford therapist, or if you think therapists are evil
Speaker 2: or something, you can always unload your weird confessions onto us.
Speaker 3: Okay, we are kind of weird therapists.
Speaker 2: Yeah, with this segment called the mass Speaker, and one
Speaker 2: of our listeners is ready to unload onto us. He's
Speaker 2: chosen the fake name Kenny. So, Kenny, welcome to Discount
Speaker 2: Therapy with Brooke and Jeffrey.
Speaker 1: In the morning. Hey to be here, Yeah that you are,
Speaker 1: love it, Kenny.
Speaker 3: Your voice is all weird. It's like, this is probably
Speaker 3: what Discount Therapy sounds like. All the door is definitely
Speaker 3: in a back alley somewhere, Kenny.
Speaker 2: Our voice changer is on. You're now the mass Speaker.
Speaker 2: Whenever you're ready, go ahead, give us your confession.
Speaker 1: Okay, So work in the amusement park?
Speaker 3: Oh cool? I mean is it fun? Do you like it?
Speaker 1: I thought it would be fun. It's not as fun
Speaker 1: working there as it is going there. You know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is an accredited amusement park.
Speaker 3: Like what does that mean?
Speaker 2: Are you like a CARNI like not one run out
Speaker 2: of like your home or something.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, we don't move.
Speaker 3: Okay, what home amusement parks?
Speaker 2: I'm there's some weird stuff out there. I can send
Speaker 2: you a link if you want it.
Speaker 3: I don't want it. If they have a bounty house,
Speaker 3: I consider it an amusing okay, okay, all right, So
Speaker 3: I mean does it matter what you do at the
Speaker 3: amusement parker?
Speaker 1: Yeah? When I started, I was like basically a janitor, okay,
Speaker 1: but now ironically I'm a floater.
Speaker 3: He laughs. You got the right humor for this show, sir.
Speaker 1: Well, it just means you bounced around. So you get
Speaker 1: to do like a little bit of everything at the park,
Speaker 1: Like you can do concessions.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 2: That's got to be nice not having to be like
Speaker 2: stuck at one ride the entire day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it still sucks. But it sucks less.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it sucks less is a good way to describe work.
Speaker 1: Yeah. But because I've been there about like six years now,
Speaker 1: I sort of got like some of the inner workings
Speaker 1: of the parks down. Yeah. So I've afforded myself a
Speaker 1: few luxuries here and there.
Speaker 3: What do you mean, Yeah, you get a free funnel
Speaker 3: cake every once in a while.
Speaker 1: You know. Even better, like, there's a part of the
Speaker 1: park that sells beer, and I've figured out a way
Speaker 1: to get some beer, like one hundred percent off.
Speaker 2: Whoa, you're stealing.
Speaker 3: Beer before you're operating the rides.
Speaker 1: I am obtaining it one hundred percent.
Speaker 3: Off to intercept the kegs or something like.
Speaker 1: Well, I've found a way to get a great discount
Speaker 1: on it.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, case you're getting one hundred percent off beer
Speaker 3: at work.
Speaker 1: And then there's a we have like a nurse, you know,
Speaker 1: for like kids to get nauseous, or like people to
Speaker 1: trick their knee because they're drunk or something or they
Speaker 1: just fell. But okay, yeah, well when it's empty, I've
Speaker 1: befriended this nurse and she'll just let me nap in
Speaker 1: the nurse That is so cool.
Speaker 2: And I'm sure, you give her some of that hundred
Speaker 2: percent off beer compensation.
Speaker 1: Give her more than that, baby, that's what you're saying. No,
Speaker 1: that was a lie. I will that.
Speaker 3: So you're getting drunks out at work, it's kind of cool.
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't see the big deal.
Speaker 1: Here, you don't.
Speaker 3: Yeah, figures. Okay, And there's there more to this confession
Speaker 3: because that feels like a lot to me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well there's one big one that I've been getting
Speaker 1: away with for a while, okay, and that's like, well
Speaker 1: the pork stingy. Like you think that they would let
Speaker 1: us get like friends and family discount or whatever, but
Speaker 1: all we get is like one off coop on the month.
Speaker 2: Seriously, I thought there was like a list that you
Speaker 2: get where you could have people go in for free
Speaker 2: from there's so.
Speaker 3: Many people that work at those places. I mean it
Speaker 3: would be hundreds of free path down and it kind
Speaker 3: of makes sense.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, how would this company ever part with
Speaker 1: a couple hundred dollars?
Speaker 3: I get it?
Speaker 1: Okay, So what do you do? So when I have
Speaker 1: friends that want to come to park the next day,
Speaker 1: I'll leave worked with this black duffel bag that I
Speaker 1: usually like bring my water bottle and stuff in. But
Speaker 1: unbeknownst to people, I have located a handful of old
Speaker 1: mascot costumes that are no longer used anymore, likeay okay,
Speaker 1: and so I'll take those and then I'll give them
Speaker 1: to my buddies. And then the next morning they'll show
Speaker 1: up early, like right at the park before it's you know,
Speaker 1: in mascot costumes, and security just waves them.
Speaker 2: In so brilliant. Security doesn't even check their credentials.
Speaker 1: They're just like, oh yeah, a big bear in a
Speaker 1: big rabbit. Just let.
Speaker 3: My god, that's actually cool, dude. I can't get over
Speaker 3: like adult men dressing up in costume to seek into
Speaker 3: an amusement park.
Speaker 2: But I so way do they take off, Like if
Speaker 2: they want to go on a ride, do you go
Speaker 2: to the bathroom and then take off the mascot outfit
Speaker 2: or do they just leave.
Speaker 1: Them on and like run rampant. So they usually just
Speaker 1: go to the bathroom, they have their like actual clothes on,
Speaker 1: they take them off, they wait maybe twenty thirty minutes
Speaker 1: until the park actually opened, and then they put them
Speaker 1: in this trash can that nobody ever uses. And then
Speaker 1: I just go and pick it up out of that
Speaker 1: trush can wow, that.
Speaker 2: Really dumpster outfits.
Speaker 3: That is a lot of trust in your friends, because
Speaker 3: at one point you're gonna have one buddy who just
Speaker 3: loves the notoriety of being the mascot. I love kids,
Speaker 3: I'd be taking pictures exactly, Get up, I guess.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So you've never gotten caught doing this, sneaking your friends.
Speaker 1: In No, I've probably done it thirty forty times. So
Speaker 1: now they're like, hey, when.
Speaker 2: Did we re sign the old maskot? Just tell me
Speaker 2: you don't take those costumes home and use them for
Speaker 2: anything else.
Speaker 3: You wouldn't want that. Jeffrey, Hey, if the.
Speaker 1: Is right, give him a few beers.
Speaker 2: All right, Well, I'm gonna keep your phone number here then,
Speaker 2: but remember text into seven eight, five nine two.
Speaker 1: If you have a confession you've been holding on to.
Speaker 2: We can hide your identity, mask your voice, and make
Speaker 2: you the next mass speaker. Phone tabs coming up
Speaker 3: Next, Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.