Speaker 1: I still remember when my doctor told me that the
Speaker 1: plastic surgery was free of charge. The look on my
Speaker 1: face was priceless.
Speaker 2: Why did the farmer name his horse Mayo? Because Mayo nays.
Speaker 1: What has six eyes but can't see a thing? Three
Speaker 1: blind mice?
Speaker 2: What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breathe,
Speaker 2: you idiot?
Speaker 1: My son got a fever and started claiming that he
Speaker 1: sees dead people. It was his sixth sense.
Speaker 2: My bank complimented me for having an outstanding balance. I
Speaker 2: told them I do yoga. I like add jokes. The
Speaker 2: cornea the better. My wife screamed at me, why don't
Speaker 2: you write a book rather than all the time cracking
Speaker 2: your stupid poor jokes. I thought for a while and replied,
Speaker 2: what a novel idea?
Speaker 1: I saw a movie about a beaver last week. It
Speaker 1: was the best damn movie I've ever seen.
Speaker 2: Police say, thieves in German sports cars are driving through
Speaker 2: neighborhoods and stealing packages. I hate Porsche pirates.
Speaker 1: A woman was visiting her elderly mother in a mental
Speaker 1: hospital when a guy entered the ward, waving his arms
Speaker 1: about and making beeping noises. Excuse me, said the woman,
Speaker 1: what are you doing. I'm driving my car, he replied cheerily,
Speaker 1: Beep beep. But you're in a mental hospital. She tried
Speaker 1: to explain, you are not in a car. Don't tell
Speaker 1: him that, cried one of the janitors. He pays me
Speaker 1: twenty dollars a week to wash it.
Speaker 2: Did you all see my post about a chiropractor joke?
Speaker 2: It was about a week back.
Speaker 1: What is a fish's favorite way to get high? Seaweed?
Speaker 2: One of my friends was telling me about his daughter's birthday.
Speaker 2: Said she got a little Mermaid outfit. She's a big fan,
Speaker 2: loves AREO. I said, that's great. I'm more of a
Speaker 2: Times New Roman guy myself.
Speaker 1: We'll return with more laughs following this short break. How
Speaker 1: do ghosts stay in shape? The Exorcise?
Speaker 2: I had the toughest time finding soup ingredients at the
Speaker 2: grocery store. I guess they were out of stock.
Speaker 1: My friend loves to gossip. She has a great sense
Speaker 1: of rumor.
Speaker 2: I am going to tell some Frank Sinatra jokes here
Speaker 2: pretty soon, so start spreading the news.
Speaker 1: I wish my gray hair started in Las Vegas, because
Speaker 1: what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Speaker 2: My wife was going to buy me new work boots.
Speaker 2: I told her that they must be full grain leather. Instead,
Speaker 2: she came home with boots made from the soft underside
Speaker 2: of an animal skin with a brush snap finish. I
Speaker 2: was okay with this because I am easily swayed.
Speaker 1: Can't wait for the World Clip to Maania Championship tomorrow.
Speaker 1: I'm going to take bronze, silver and gold.
Speaker 2: You know, those cyber trucks don't even have the new
Speaker 2: car smell. Apparently it's more of an elon musk.
Speaker 1: I don't like hanging around. They always bring me down.
Speaker 2: What did the grape do when it was sat on?
Speaker 2: It let out a little wine?
Speaker 1: If April showers bring me flowers, what do July flowers
Speaker 1: bring a bad case of hay fever.
Speaker 2: My friend sadly got cancer and is now in the hospital.
Speaker 2: Even in the situation, he was still cracking jokes. I
Speaker 2: guess he still had his great sense of tumor. I'm
Speaker 2: Bob Jeffy and I'm Montgomery Jones. We have a bonus
Speaker 2: Dad joke for you at the end of the episode.
Speaker 2: Our mission is to make the world a happier place,
Speaker 2: one joke at a time. Let's spread the joy or
Speaker 2: pain together. Bye for now and I'll catch you tomorrow.
Speaker 2: Thank you for your loyalty. Looking for more dad joke
Speaker 2: humor to share, then subscribe to our new weekly email newsletter.
Speaker 2: It's our weekly roundup of the best dad joke memes
Speaker 2: and humor for you to enjoy. Spread the laughs and
Speaker 2: groans and sign up today. Check the sign up link
Speaker 2: in the show notes page or visit dailydadjokespodcast dot com.
Speaker 2: The Daily Dad Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios.
Speaker 1: See the show notes page for social media links and
Speaker 1: Joe credits. Check out our other podcasts in our network
Speaker 1: at Classicstudios dot com. I once almost dated the Psychic Girl,
Speaker 1: but she broke up with me before we even met.