Speaker 1: Everyone talks about how different life is since the Internet
Speaker 1: and iPhones, but no one talks about how much better
Speaker 1: life is since banning indoor public smoking.
Speaker 2: To not expose his identity, Batman is either driving the
Speaker 2: Batmobile uninsured or is committing insurance fraud.
Speaker 1: Millions of people wake up at the exact same second
Speaker 1: from using their cell phone as an alarm clock.
Speaker 2: You never see commercials for new cereals. There are no
Speaker 2: new cereals for some reason. Serial innovations ceased in the nineties.
Speaker 1: In monopoly, if no one ever buys a property, everyone
Speaker 1: gets richer and no one loses.
Speaker 2: In the thirty years since pulp fiction was at least
Speaker 2: a five dollars milkshake has gone from ridiculously expensive to
Speaker 2: incredibly cheap. Therapists and counselors know so many lonely people,
Speaker 2: all located in the same area, but can't introduce those
Speaker 2: lonely people to one another without violating patient confidentiality rules.
Speaker 1: Even if we would have gotten a letter from Hobwarts,
Speaker 1: our parents would have never believed it was real and
Speaker 1: let us travel to London to run against the wall.
Speaker 1: We never had a chance.
Speaker 2: It's likely that at least one person's tender date never
Speaker 2: showed up because they died first, but the person just
Speaker 2: thinks they got ghosted.
Speaker 1: Every juck, bully, or thug you've ever seen in a
Speaker 1: movie has actually just been a theater kid pretending to
Speaker 1: be one.
Speaker 2: All Voldemort needed to do to track Harry down was
Speaker 2: address a letter to him, give it to an owl,
Speaker 2: and follow the owl on brimstick.
Speaker 1: Percentage tipping is weird because a customer buying a more
Speaker 1: expensive meal had nothing to do with the server.
Speaker 2: People who overthink often assume everyone is as smart as they.
Speaker 1: Are, since spaceships aren't available to everyone yet, the golden
Speaker 1: age of piracy hasn't happened.
Speaker 2: You either come to realize what an idiot you used
Speaker 2: to be, or you remain as that idiot.
Speaker 1: Calling yourself an AI artist is almost exactly the same
Speaker 1: as calling yourself a cook for heating already made meals
Speaker 1: in a microwave.
Speaker 2: One silver lining of being poor is that your chances
Speaker 2: of dying in an avalanche are unificantly lower.
Speaker 1: There are almost seven billion smartphones in the world, and
Speaker 1: we have yet to see a truly unexplainable phenomenon caught
Speaker 1: on video.
Speaker 2: Now for a quick break, Stay tuned for more shower thoughts,
Speaker 2: handwritten assignments and in person tests may become the norm
Speaker 2: again because of AI, the older you get.
Speaker 1: The longer Monopoly games last, because all players become more
Speaker 1: fiscally responsible.
Speaker 2: Given how often wands are dropped in Harry Potter, it's
Speaker 2: surprising they don't have wrisk straps fitted.
Speaker 1: There must have been adults complaining how soft kids were
Speaker 1: when they outlaw child labor. People who let their text
Speaker 1: show on their lock screen, the people who truly have
Speaker 1: nothing to hide.
Speaker 2: We're very fortunate that the muscles in our hearts don't
Speaker 2: get tired the same way the rest of our muscles do.
Speaker 1: It's crazy how we were able to map out the
Speaker 1: entire world in detailed before ever seeing it from afar
Speaker 1: in space.
Speaker 2: The increased popularity and acceptance of tattoos is definitely making
Speaker 2: it easier for cops to id people.
Speaker 1: I've never seen an energetic person drinking energy drinks, and
Speaker 1: I've never seen someone who drinks energy drinks being energetic.
Speaker 1: I'm Montgomery Jones.
Speaker 2: And I'm Amalia de Pray. Thank you so much for listening,
Speaker 2: and we'll be back tomorrow with more mind bending shower thoughts.
Speaker 2: Goodbye for now This podcast was produced by Classic Studios.
Speaker 2: Please see the show notes page for source credits.