Speaker 1: How do you recognize a French soldier sunburned armpits?
Speaker 2: What was Elvis assigned to do when he joined the
Speaker 2: army to look for suspicious minds?
Speaker 1: What would baby group be if he joined the army?
Speaker 1: An infantryman?
Speaker 2: What rodent goes to the army? An army dillo? I
Speaker 2: used to clean the toilets when I was in the army.
Speaker 2: They called me lieutenant. What do you call a piece
Speaker 2: of corn that joins the army? Colonel?
Speaker 1: What do you call a half man half horse in
Speaker 1: the middle of an army formation? The centaur of attention?
Speaker 2: What rank do all army dentists hold? Drill? Sergeant?
Speaker 1: My grandfather was a baker in the army. He went
Speaker 1: in all bonds glazing.
Speaker 2: Can someone please tell me what the lowest rank in
Speaker 2: the army is? Every time I ask someone, they tell
Speaker 2: me it's private.
Speaker 1: How did Napoleon talk to his army in general?
Speaker 2: What do you call an army of babies? Infantry?
Speaker 1: What do you call it when you enlist in the
Speaker 1: army from a bathroom? A call of duty?
Speaker 2: What do you call a fat guy in the army
Speaker 2: a fortunate ton?
Speaker 1: We'll continue with more dead humor after this quick pause.
Speaker 1: It looks like they renamed an army base for Eisenhower.
Speaker 1: Great choice. Five stars?
Speaker 2: Which soldier sees the most action in the army? Private browsing.
Speaker 1: The Italian Army is replacing all their combat armor with pasta.
Speaker 1: After all, the penna is mightier than the sword.
Speaker 2: The rabbit Army is retreating from the warfront. It's a
Speaker 2: receding hair line.
Speaker 1: Where did Napoleon keep his armies in his sleevies?
Speaker 2: Why was King Arthur's army too tired to fight? It
Speaker 2: had too many sleepless nights?
Speaker 1: What do you call it when the four star from
Speaker 1: the army has an operation animal surgery?
Speaker 2: What did Hitler say when the Allied Army conquered Berlin?
Speaker 2: I did not see the coming?
Speaker 1: What was the army electrician charged with improper conduct?
Speaker 2: Who is the army officer who compels his unit to
Speaker 2: observe major luck?
Speaker 1: If animals formed an army, who would be the snipers
Speaker 1: the porcupines because they are sharp shooters?
Speaker 2: Where his shoes go for army training boot camp?
Speaker 1: In the Irish Army, there is a sniper famous for
Speaker 1: eliminating targets by bouncing his shots off of rocks and
Speaker 1: other hard surfaces. His name is ric o'shet.
Speaker 2: The Ukrainian army ordered fifty thousand septic tanks last month.
Speaker 2: They're still trying to figure out how to drive them.
Speaker 1: How did the apes defeat the army of humans? They
Speaker 1: used guerrilla tactics.
Speaker 2: What's the name of the army officer who was never
Speaker 2: good enough for his parents? Major disappointment?
Speaker 1: Did you hear the mixed barbie doll is going to
Speaker 1: be an army barbie? She specializes in plastic explosives.
Speaker 2: What do armies and call centers have in common? They
Speaker 2: both have too hold the line.
Speaker 1: Why do you see soldiers in the springtime because they
Speaker 1: are out in march?
Speaker 2: American soldier ordered a bird shaped cake. It was a
Speaker 2: dessert eagle.
Speaker 1: I spent a whole day arguing with my neighbor about
Speaker 1: what we should call a medieval soldier. It was getting late,
Speaker 1: so we called it a night.
Speaker 2: Why couldn't the soldiers go to the arcade because their
Speaker 2: enemy gave them no quarter?
Speaker 1: Did you hear what happened to the soldier with bunions?
Speaker 1: He suffered from defeat.
Speaker 2: What did the battery powered soldiers say after the battle charge?
Speaker 1: Why did the soldier bring his gun to the help
Speaker 1: disc he had trouble shooting.
Speaker 2: Did you hear about the soldier that ate a really
Speaker 2: spicy curry fire in the hole.
Speaker 1: Why couldn't the drill sergeant get to speaker to work
Speaker 1: during roll call? He said, sound off.
Speaker 2: My drill sergeant told me to drop down and give
Speaker 2: him twenty so I unbuckled and almost pulled out the note.
Speaker 1: Why do military officers not wear any underwear in order
Speaker 1: to feel more in commando?
Speaker 2: The military is supposed to straighten people out. But I
Speaker 2: once knew a guy in the military who would get
Speaker 2: annoying and argue with me about the smallest things. He
Speaker 2: was a petty officer.
Speaker 1: Why did Fidel Castro always wear a military uniform? He
Speaker 1: had chronic fatigue syndrome.
Speaker 2: The entire battalion had Chinese takeout today because the general
Speaker 2: sews chicken.
Speaker 1: The general enlisted a battalion of seamstresses. He wanted to
Speaker 1: overwhelm the enemy by sheer numbers.
Speaker 2: My grandfather was his army battalion's mime during World War Two.
Speaker 2: He doesn't like to talk about it. I'm Bob Jeffy.
Speaker 1: And I'm Montgomery Jones, and that's the deployment of dad
Speaker 1: jokes for Army Day. We're on a mission to spread
Speaker 1: the laughs and groans far and wide, so please do
Speaker 1: us a favor and share just one of these jokes
Speaker 1: with your family and friends today. Thanks. Looking for more
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Speaker 1: produced by Classic Studios. See the show notes page for
Speaker 1: social media links and joke credits. Check out our other
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Speaker 2: Yeah