Speaker 1: My son picked his nose and wiped it on me.
Speaker 1: He said it was funny. I told him it was not.
Speaker 2: My fiance and I wanted to get married at the
Speaker 2: public library, but they told us it was all booked up.
Speaker 1: Why are skeletons so calm? Nothing gets under their skin?
Speaker 2: Sadly, my friend from Russia was divorcing his spouse. They
Speaker 2: were married in their home country some time ago. I've
Speaker 2: tried to console him by saying, not all Soviet unions
Speaker 2: were meant to last.
Speaker 1: I burned two thousand calories today. I left my food
Speaker 1: in the oven for too long.
Speaker 2: What did one tectonic plate say to the other tectonic
Speaker 2: played after the earthquake? It was San Andrea's fault.
Speaker 1: My wife didn't believe I could make a car out
Speaker 1: of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I
Speaker 1: drove pasta.
Speaker 2: When my wife and I argue, I always get the
Speaker 2: last word. They're usually I'm sorry, you're right.
Speaker 1: I told a joke about the cargo ship crashing that
Speaker 1: didn't go over well. But it's water under the bridge.
Speaker 2: Now, what condition makes your feet smell like nett tick tactee?
Speaker 1: I just had some Japanese cartoons tattooed on my legs.
Speaker 1: My doctor told me I needed mom Vinese hanging there
Speaker 1: for more laughs and groans.
Speaker 2: After this quick announcement, I watched my estranged father get
Speaker 2: tortured on a rack. It was the longest I've ever
Speaker 2: seen him.
Speaker 1: Highlighter pins are going to be making a huge comeback soon.
Speaker 1: Mark my words.
Speaker 2: Have I ever told you guys my hydraulic jack joke?
Speaker 2: It hasn't let me down yet.
Speaker 1: My wife told me I had no sense of direction whatsoever.
Speaker 1: I said, where did underscore that underscore come from?
Speaker 2: Why did the communists think the capitalist wasn't very smart
Speaker 2: because he lacked common sound?
Speaker 1: People always ask me how I never make the mistake
Speaker 1: of confusing my wife with her twin. It's easy. My
Speaker 1: wife is green eyes and her twin is a man.
Speaker 1: I'm Bob Jeffy and I'm Montgomery Jones. Get ready for
Speaker 1: a bonus dad joke. We have a mission to bring
Speaker 1: joy and some cringes to the world, one joke at
Speaker 1: a time. Share the humor with your loved ones. Sleep
Speaker 1: well and I'll catch you tomorrow.
Speaker 2: Cheers. Looking for more dad joke humor to share, then
Speaker 2: subscribe to our new weekly email newsletter. It's our weekly
Speaker 2: roundup of the best dad jokes, memes and humor for
Speaker 2: you to enjoy. Spread the laughs and groans and sign
Speaker 2: up today. Check the sign up link in the show
Speaker 2: notes page or visit Daily Dad Jokes pots cast dot com.
Speaker 2: The Daily Dad Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios.
Speaker 2: See the show notes page for social media links and
Speaker 2: joke credits. This show was recorded in front of a
Speaker 2: canned studio audience. My neighbor's front door is made of sponge.
Speaker 2: Lots of people don't like it, but I have to
Speaker 2: admit I can't knock it.