Speaker 1: You confession. I can't take back e arms.
Speaker 2: Mouth speak text into seven eighty five nine two says
Speaker 2: My wife asks why I never go to confession at church?
Speaker 2: And I told her, if I want to wash away
Speaker 2: my sins, I just clear my browser history. I'm with you, bro.
Speaker 2: Plus those pastors too judgy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're like, oh yeah, I got it.
Speaker 2: I got an in with the big guy upstairs. Go ahead,
Speaker 2: tell me your secrets. I won't tell anybody like. You
Speaker 2: don't have to say anything back to me.
Speaker 3: Just let me talk. Okay.
Speaker 2: You need to be sharing your sins with somebody less
Speaker 2: respectable people with no morals, no virtues. Radio people.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's us.
Speaker 2: That's what this segment is all about. Unload your dirty
Speaker 2: laundry right here anonymously with the mass speaker, just like
Speaker 2: one of our listeners who's chosen the fake name Sam.
Speaker 2: So Sam, Welcome to the show Man.
Speaker 4: Hello, Hello, he Sam.
Speaker 3: That's okay. Maybe it was the voice changer or something. Yeah,
Speaker 3: how are you feeling, Sam?
Speaker 1: Uh? Okay, okay, okay, we make you feel better.
Speaker 2: Yeah, hopefully this is therapeutic for you. Because the voice
Speaker 2: changer is on. You are now the mass speaker. Whenever
Speaker 2: you're ready, Sam, give us your confession.
Speaker 1: Sure, So, yeah, I have a twin sister. We're best friends,
Speaker 1: so nice here. Yeah, yeah, I mean I never thought
Speaker 1: we would be honestly, if she knew what I did
Speaker 1: back in high school, which.
Speaker 2: Is a lot of calling, Oh okay, what happened back
Speaker 2: in high school with you and your twin sister?
Speaker 5: No, okay, when it was coming out of my my
Speaker 5: okay dirty, Yeah, I'm sorry, Sam, to save us, tell
Speaker 5: us what happened.
Speaker 1: Sure, this was like sixteen years ago, somewhere around there.
Speaker 1: She was basically the popular one in school, that kind
Speaker 1: of presentitor for that. I mean, everyone knew were twins,
Speaker 1: but everyone always showed her the attention. You know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's really frustrating, especially as a twin.
Speaker 1: Yeah you know, yeah exactly. I mean she pretty much
Speaker 1: anywhere we went the spotlight. So from time come around
Speaker 1: obviously senior year, you know that's a big deal. And
Speaker 1: one goes a prom to see it last year, see
Speaker 1: all your friends to hang out, and yeahs.
Speaker 3: A huge deal with oh my god, totally you think
Speaker 3: it's honestly the best night of your entire life.
Speaker 2: Yeah exactly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, And I decided that hey, I was gonna
Speaker 1: just completely embarrass her. You know, she's an a golden child.
Speaker 1: Oh so I'm just gonna ruin her her senior prom.
Speaker 2: And like everyone goes to proms, So whatever you're about
Speaker 2: to say, everyone saw, like the whole school knows, right.
Speaker 1: You know, I actually wasn't going to go because she
Speaker 1: was going. So I didn't want to ruin my proms,
Speaker 1: Like nobody's gonna pay attention to me. I wasn't going
Speaker 1: to pay attention to her.
Speaker 3: A little petty, Yeah, I hear that, but you understand that,
Speaker 3: you admit to it now.
Speaker 1: Right right. And so at the time, she was at
Speaker 1: home getting dressed, and I snogged in her room and
Speaker 1: I taked like a string of just like a stack
Speaker 1: of condoms to her wallet inside her purse.
Speaker 2: What that's a that's a good brother looking out for
Speaker 2: his sister. Well done.
Speaker 3: So like like the condoms weren't perforated, you know, celebrated
Speaker 3: or you know, they hadn't.
Speaker 4: Been Like there's like a big sleeve that all stuck
Speaker 4: together and like separated them into symbols of condoms.
Speaker 2: Okay, clearly was not the prom queen. So what happens, Sam?
Speaker 2: You put you attached some condoms to her wallet.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well she was, you know, inside her purse.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: The plan was when she was gonna go in her
Speaker 1: first to pull out a wall of free thing was
Speaker 1: like buying food at the prom, and like all these
Speaker 1: condoms would fall out and she would obviously be embarrassed.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. In high school, yeah, embarrassed.
Speaker 3: That would have I mean I would have been on
Speaker 3: the floor.
Speaker 2: Nowadays, I would do that on purpose.
Speaker 1: Impressed people.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I need.
Speaker 3: All those grown man.
Speaker 5: Yeah, like you're like eighteen, Oh my god, I'm younger.
Speaker 3: I mean sixteen, seventeen, like whatever you guys are at
Speaker 3: that age.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you weren't going, so it's not like you
Speaker 2: were going to see it happen. Do you know what happened?
Speaker 1: Right? I? I Again, I didn't go, so I wasn't
Speaker 1: there to witness or anything. But mid dance, like you know,
Speaker 1: probably around like nine thirty or ten, my mom gets
Speaker 1: a phone call. My sister's like super crying no, and
Speaker 1: she told her mom she was standing to get her
Speaker 1: photo taken with her date. She went to go pay
Speaker 1: for it, and of course she pulls her all out
Speaker 1: in like all these condoms, like thirty condoms. Oh my god.
Speaker 3: And it's in the bright light too.
Speaker 5: It's not even in the dark bit.
Speaker 2: About like lying of people waiting to get their photos taken.
Speaker 1: Two gosh, she tole my mom. You know, people were
Speaker 1: laughing at her. Her date was like super horrified, and
Speaker 1: so my mom had to go pick her up. And
Speaker 1: it was crazy because obviously instead of me getting in
Speaker 1: trouble because they didn't know that I did it. Obviously,
Speaker 1: my sister thought her date pulled a prank on her
Speaker 1: and she got him suspended from school.
Speaker 3: I did not see this makes sense. He wasn't even
Speaker 3: at the dance. Why would you even Like it wouldn't
Speaker 3: even come to my mind. It would be you like, who's.
Speaker 2: The only person that's acces to my purse?
Speaker 1: My date?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, dude.
Speaker 1: And obviously, now looking back on it, I feel really bad.
Speaker 1: I mean, I've never told her this, never told anybody actually,
Speaker 1: and I just I'm afraid if I tell her now,
Speaker 1: it's going to ruin our friendship. Like she's not gonna
Speaker 1: want to be friends or even family anymore.
Speaker 3: I think maybe when you're eighty she'll find it funny.
Speaker 4: Yeah, maybe.
Speaker 2: Soon, Just wait another fifty years and many can drop
Speaker 2: it to her, but text into seven eight, five nine
Speaker 2: two if you have a confession you've been holding on to,
Speaker 2: we can hide your identity, mask your voice, and make
Speaker 2: you the next mass speaker. Phone taps coming up next