Speaker 1: Welcome to Guys We Buy, the Anti Slued Change Podcast.
Speaker 2: I'm Christina Hudgonsson, I'm Karen Fisher, and I'm ya.
Speaker 1: Sooys, friends, we're going up so slugging your horny and
Speaker 1: your shame.
Speaker 2: Hey it's lut yes, okay, talk about Greetings, fuckers, how
Speaker 2: you doing? Keep dry?
Speaker 1: Bring an umbrella. Welcome to another episode of Guys We Fucked.
Speaker 1: It's the Anti Sluedgeman Podcast. I'm Karen Fisher, I'm Christina Hutchinson.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the show Los Angeles. Hey, baby, if you
Speaker 1: are in Los Angeles or if you'll be visiting Los
Speaker 1: Angeles on May.
Speaker 2: Eleven, eleventh, it's a Saturday.
Speaker 1: Christina Hutchinson and Karen Fisher, we are part of the
Speaker 1: Netflix Is a Joke Festival and we will be doing
Speaker 1: Guys We Fucked podcast style live interview here. We will
Speaker 1: on Saturday May eleventh at nine to forty five pm
Speaker 1: at the Regent Theater.
Speaker 3: This is a big deal. This is a big show,
Speaker 3: This is a big festival. We need you to buy
Speaker 3: a ticket. We need you buy ticket now now, this last.
Speaker 2: Minute second, this last minute ticking and buying. Guys.
Speaker 3: Of course, we appreciate when you buy a ticket anytime,
Speaker 3: But I don't think you understand the personal pressure that
Speaker 3: these venues put us under.
Speaker 2: I don't wantli.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like if you don't sometimes like if it's like
Speaker 1: so many tickets sell like day of and that's lovely,
Speaker 1: but you know how close you get to canceling shows
Speaker 1: and giving me diarrhea and just non.
Speaker 3: Stop lack of sleep. Okay, we're too old for that.
Speaker 3: You can't do that anymore. We cannot do that anymore.
Speaker 3: So Regent Theater, May eleventh, Los Angeles. Netflix is a
Speaker 3: joke festival. You can go to the Netflix as a
Speaker 3: Joke website, you can go to the ticket links in
Speaker 3: our bios.
Speaker 2: The information is there. It's going to be spectacular. It's
Speaker 2: going to be way different than the La Show because
Speaker 2: this is going to be a formal podcast interview. It
Speaker 2: will be the podcast.
Speaker 3: There'll be some interaction, but it's going to mostly be
Speaker 3: us talking and then a very famous surprise guest.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because it's a fancy, big theater that we're in,
Speaker 1: that's why. And we even got a musical guest to
Speaker 1: open the show, so it feels like an actual cohesive
Speaker 1: episode of the podcast.
Speaker 3: We will be joined by Joel Ronson. I mean, he's
Speaker 3: his own person, but it is John Ronson's son.
Speaker 2: That's pretty cool. That's pretty fucking cool.
Speaker 4: Your dad's that cool.
Speaker 1: You gotta say something, come on, okay, he wrote so
Speaker 1: many books. Yeah, and if you can believe it, Joel
Speaker 1: even more British than John.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I don't happy he talked to him. You're like, damn, dude,
Speaker 3: you're British as hell. It's like talking to a scone.
Speaker 3: It's delightful.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's light high tea. Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you're gonna get those tickets and we'll actually
Speaker 1: give you We'll give you a moment right now to
Speaker 1: do so.
Speaker 3: Write yourself a note yeah, stop the car pull over. Yeah,
Speaker 3: just put wrote a note to do it right after
Speaker 3: the links in our bios. All of our bios ask
Speaker 3: it for it for a gift. Do you have a
Speaker 3: birthday coming up? Yeah, it's a perfect gift. Just say
Speaker 3: it in front of your husband or your uh partner,
Speaker 3: or you're dating somebody super hot and you want to
Speaker 3: make sure you're still dating them on May eleventh.
Speaker 2: Get them tickets and let them know their calendar and.
Speaker 3: Then they have to come go with your sister, go
Speaker 3: with your mother, go with your dad, go through pet
Speaker 3: but it has go with your You're a child in
Speaker 3: your stomach, a service dog. Yes, and we will want
Speaker 3: to pet it after softer make sure you make that happen. Okay, okay,
Speaker 3: if you want to email us, it's sorry about last
Speaker 3: night's show at gmail dot com. Today's subject line, do
Speaker 3: I have to get married before my dad gets dementia?
Speaker 3: Tiger and Christina. I'm a longtime listener and fan. Love
Speaker 3: getting your perspective on something I have been going through.
Speaker 3: My boyfriend and I have been together for nine years.
Speaker 3: We are constantly nagged with the question of.
Speaker 4: So, when are you going to get married?
Speaker 2: Or so, why aren't you married yet? Why does everybody care?
Speaker 3: You know what I mean, it's your life, They're not
Speaker 3: in the relationship. I often get these questions more so
Speaker 3: than my boyfriend does.
Speaker 2: We have compared.
Speaker 3: I don't really care about a wedding or the idea
Speaker 3: of marriage. It sounds like the biggest burden in the
Speaker 3: world to plan and spend thirty K for a wedding.
Speaker 3: I'm cheap and do not enjoy being the center of attention. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 3: so a wedding's just not for you, dude.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I find the questions to be annoying and I brush
Speaker 3: them off for the most part. My partner feels similarly,
Speaker 3: and we both had an open conversation that we don't
Speaker 3: feel the need to really have a wedding.
Speaker 2: Nonetheless, even get married, then fucking don't ruin a good thing.
Speaker 3: Boo. I'm absolutely not knocking anyone else getting married or
Speaker 3: having a wedding. I love me a good time at
Speaker 3: a fun wedding girl, me too, but it just has
Speaker 3: never really been a priority for us. Recently, my dad
Speaker 3: has been dealing with some health issues. I'm thirty, my
Speaker 3: dad is seventy. He has what is called mild cognitive impairment.
Speaker 3: He takes a test every year called the MOCA Assessment
Speaker 3: that essentially tests his memory, attention, concentration, cognition, and a
Speaker 3: few other parameters. We trend his score each year, which
Speaker 3: has been relatively stable for the past three years. As
Speaker 3: the test score declines, it is considered that cognitive impairment
Speaker 3: is worsening on a thirty point scale. This test does
Speaker 3: not tell us if this cognitive impairment wi ultimately turn
Speaker 3: into something like dementia. Or Alzheimer's anyway, I can certainly
Speaker 3: see a change of my dad for the worse. It's
Speaker 3: very difficult for me to see his memory declining. Yeah,
Speaker 3: that must be hard and not remember a conversation I
Speaker 3: have with him just the day before, or start to
Speaker 3: forget family members' names. He recently came to visit me
Speaker 3: in California, and all I could think of was is
Speaker 3: he even going to remember the best parts of our
Speaker 3: time together on this trip? Tough questions to face to
Speaker 3: put the two together. I am now, for the first
Speaker 3: time in this relationship, feeling the pressure of time. I
Speaker 3: feel as though I have to get married before my
Speaker 3: dad forgets a special day, such as being at his
Speaker 3: daughter's wedding. I can't imagine these life events without my
Speaker 3: dad being present, or worse present but not mentally present.
Speaker 3: I ask you to for perspective, giving both of your experiences. Courin,
Speaker 3: I know your father passed away. I'm so sorry for
Speaker 3: your loss. Did you have similar thoughts when your dad
Speaker 3: was sick, not necessarily regarding marriage or wedding, but any
Speaker 3: anxiety surrounding not having such an important person in your
Speaker 3: life present for life's milestones. How did you deal with
Speaker 3: these thoughts, Christina, I asked the same for you, as
Speaker 3: I recall you saying a long time ago, sorry if
Speaker 3: I'm shabby on the details that your mom had been
Speaker 3: diagnosed with a type of memory disorder.
Speaker 2: She forgot she was being a bitch. I'll get to that.
Speaker 2: At the moment, so fucked up, and it was causing
Speaker 2: you to spiral into thoughts about could you imagine if
Speaker 2: at the time because you couldn't imagine your mom, not
Speaker 2: meaning your kids.
Speaker 3: Sorry, I'll tell you why that's funny in a second,
Speaker 3: hoping to hear your perspective and curious what your experience
Speaker 3: is with this, or honestly any listener who.
Speaker 2: Has a similar experiency all time pranks there. I get
Speaker 2: it from my mama what their experience has been like.
Speaker 2: Thanks so much for taking the time to read it.
Speaker 2: Sorry so long, girl, It ain't long. It's okay.
Speaker 3: The reason I laughed is because I forgot that I
Speaker 3: said that. First of all, my mom probably didn't because
Speaker 3: her memory's fine. I don't know what to say, but
Speaker 3: she's fine, false alarmed. She told me.
Speaker 2: It's my old fucking life, and think, could you imagine
Speaker 2: if I took her word for it? I think, what
Speaker 2: did I say? I feel like I said, And there
Speaker 2: was one Okay, so we were a couple of years
Speaker 2: to live. There was a city that we were in Miami.
Speaker 2: It was Florida.
Speaker 1: Okay, so I was I was thinking Florida, but I
Speaker 1: was like, we weren't in Florida that many times together,
Speaker 1: And you were like, I remember yourself in the hotel
Speaker 1: room about this.
Speaker 2: Yes, I remember we were eating at the downstairs.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I was just like, I guess my mom was
Speaker 3: gonna die in a couple I was so heartbroken and
Speaker 3: like grieving kind of prematurely.
Speaker 2: And then my dad died first.
Speaker 3: Yep, no contests, no great fun, She's fine, she's jogging
Speaker 3: on the beach.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So, uh did she exaggerate her diagnosis for sympathy?
Speaker 2: One will never know?
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: If I had to bet my money on it that
Speaker 3: is currently not mine in my bank account and it's
Speaker 3: all in my.
Speaker 2: Parents' house in Jersey, yeah, I would say she did.
Speaker 3: Thank god I did not have children with Stephen, because
Speaker 3: I wanted her to beat my grand Oh my god,
Speaker 3: what a death sentence that would have been.
Speaker 1: I mean, just okay, So rule of thumb before we
Speaker 1: get into the nitty gritty is if you're doing something
Speaker 1: so in your in your life that is huge so
Speaker 1: that someone else can enjoy it, you're living your life incorrect. Yeah, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it just just as much as the reason
Speaker 1: you're being asked all these questions when you're getting married.
Speaker 3: When you're getting married, it's the same, Like, that factor
Speaker 3: at play is the same factor at play for you
Speaker 3: feeling like you need to rush a moment that you
Speaker 3: don't even know if you want. Yeah, And I would
Speaker 3: say I think the solution here is to spend more
Speaker 3: time with your father on FaceTime, over the phone, and
Speaker 3: in person as much as you can. Obviously, I feel
Speaker 3: like he lives far away, feels to.
Speaker 4: Fly to you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you don't need to create You don't need to
Speaker 3: create these He's not a little he's not a little baby.
Speaker 1: You're not here their parent. You don't need to create memories.
Speaker 1: You don't need to create your know, your daddy's first birthday.
Speaker 1: I think it's like your your your parents, if they
Speaker 1: have the relationship that they should with you, they just
Speaker 1: want what's best for you. Yes, So like anytime we
Speaker 1: get into this territory of like I want to my
Speaker 1: mom wants me to have this kind of a wedding.
Speaker 2: My mom or dad wants me to meet this person.
Speaker 1: Like your parents, unfortunately, then don't have your best interests
Speaker 1: at heart, right Like my uh my parents, like they
Speaker 1: you know, it's not like they were like faultless or something.
Speaker 2: No one is.
Speaker 1: But they never pushed me to do anything that I
Speaker 1: didn't want to do unless it was something that would
Speaker 1: truly like be of service to me, Like I have
Speaker 1: I live my life the way I want to. And
Speaker 1: I mean it's sure things have come up over the years,
Speaker 1: like grin, you know, do you have any money?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 1: Why do you not have any money? And I go,
Speaker 1: I'll handle that just wait, you know, like that kind
Speaker 1: of a thing. But that was because they were, you know,
Speaker 1: they were worried about my welfare. And I just have
Speaker 1: a little bit of a like a Lucy Goosier approach
Speaker 1: to things, a little bit more into like taking a
Speaker 1: big risk because you know, for me, big risk, big reward,
Speaker 1: and obviously it paid off. It's not gonna pay off
Speaker 1: for anyone. But like, so, like did these questions come up?
Speaker 3: I mean I remember having like a thought when my
Speaker 3: dad first said and I think I talked about it
Speaker 3: on this show, like, oh, now I don't have to
Speaker 3: get married because my dad's dead.
Speaker 1: I don't really feel that way anymore. That was just
Speaker 1: like a passing feeling. Lots of feelings will pass during
Speaker 1: that time. But yeah, I mean, you know, basically like
Speaker 1: once your parents certainly turned seventy, like, I think it's
Speaker 1: time that everyone really acknowledges the fact that like death
Speaker 1: is coming, and like, yeah, they might live till ninety,
Speaker 1: they might live to one hundred. I have a lot
Speaker 1: of family members, you know, like uh, who lived to
Speaker 1: their late eighties, to their you know, my great aunt
Speaker 1: lived till ninety six, but that's because she didn't get
Speaker 1: married or have kids.
Speaker 2: And that woman chain smoked, so she really was trying.
Speaker 1: But uh, yeah, I mean I just think, like, yeah,
Speaker 1: and spend time with your dad, and also like this
Speaker 1: preoccupation that you have with worrying about him forgetting things,
Speaker 1: like yeah, him in this realm might forget it. But
Speaker 1: I really do feel like these things like kind of
Speaker 1: just download into your soul. And so even when my
Speaker 1: dad had severe brain damage and I was talking to
Speaker 1: him and it's you know, and he's eaten pudding and
Speaker 1: getting it all over himself, and you know, just like
Speaker 1: in this in this world seemed like just absolutely gone,
Speaker 1: Like I knew he really was taking things in and
Speaker 1: so you just have to kind of have faith about that.
Speaker 1: And I don't mean like Christian faith. I just mean
Speaker 1: faith in whatever, even if it's just like mortal faith.
Speaker 1: But yeah, if it feels to me like you're going
Speaker 1: into panic mode and it's anxiety that makes you want
Speaker 1: to get married, it doesn't seem to me like you
Speaker 1: actually want to get married.
Speaker 2: Listen, you've been with this guy for nine years.
Speaker 3: I think if you get married or if you don't
Speaker 3: get married, it doesn't matter because it seems like this
Speaker 3: is your person.
Speaker 2: But also like you're only thirty.
Speaker 1: So a lot of times there is this like first
Speaker 1: long relationship that we get into that's like a decade,
Speaker 1: and a lot of people actually leave that relationship.
Speaker 2: I know many people who.
Speaker 1: In their youth were in a ten or similar length
Speaker 1: relationship and that is not the person that they end
Speaker 1: up spending the.
Speaker 2: Chunk of their the biggest chunk of their life with.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I'm always so happy I didn't marry Steven.
Speaker 3: Oh god, I'm so happy for that all the time,
Speaker 3: because boy, he would have taken all my money when.
Speaker 2: We got divorced. Yeah, because he already tried to and
Speaker 2: we weren't divorced. You wouldn't have signed a thought to
Speaker 2: sign a prenup.
Speaker 3: Uh yeah, I would have, I guess. Yeah maybe, yeah,
Speaker 3: maybe I would have saved if I got marriage to him.
Speaker 3: But also so I have two more things. So as
Speaker 3: somebody who lives a life that it kind of bucks
Speaker 3: the tradition of talking to your parents. So I'm I'm
Speaker 3: kind of I don't want to say I'm going against
Speaker 3: the grain, for lack of a better term, against society's
Speaker 3: grain of like, well, are your parents, You should talk
Speaker 3: to them. You could say it to me all day,
Speaker 3: that's fine, But like my inner piece is so priceless.
Speaker 3: So I will say, living your life on your own
Speaker 3: terms is a gift that will never stop giving. If
Speaker 3: the idea of a wedding does not appeal to you,
Speaker 3: and you're right, thirty K for a party, like, ugh,
Speaker 3: that's awful.
Speaker 2: Spend that flying to visit your dad instead.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, over a course of several years, you could do that.
Speaker 3: I just was actually talking to another friend of ours
Speaker 3: whose father passed away this morning, and I told her
Speaker 3: how much I spent visiting my day while he was
Speaker 3: in hospice, and she was like, holy shit, Yeah, don't
Speaker 3: regret it at all. Yeah, never lost a wink of
Speaker 3: sleep over it. Yeah, And how did you like think of,
Speaker 3: like spending that much of your money on a wedding
Speaker 3: that you don't want to have versus spending a significantly
Speaker 3: lower portion of that amount of money to have more
Speaker 3: quality time with your dad.
Speaker 2: I think that's way worth it.
Speaker 3: And then the other thing I wanted to say, My
Speaker 3: boyfriend's mother has dementia, and it's really it's really tough.
Speaker 3: She she just forgets stuff. She's a lovely, lovely, lovely woman.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I know how tough that is. And this
Speaker 3: is just a woo woo thing that I'll never know
Speaker 3: if it's true, so take it with a grain of salt.
Speaker 2: But Laura N.
Speaker 3: Jackson has two stories in her books about She's like,
Speaker 3: sometimes when a patient has dementia or Alzheimer's, or a
Speaker 3: client I'm reading a client and their mother has dementia
Speaker 3: or Alzheimer's, the mother will actually come through in the
Speaker 3: reading because she's half in and half out of her
Speaker 3: body so I can actually communicate with her. And I
Speaker 3: thought that was really interesting, And then she just made
Speaker 3: a note to say that, you know, if a loved
Speaker 3: one is dying and they can't speak, they can't open
Speaker 3: their eyes, or if they have dementia that's so severe
Speaker 3: that they don't know where they are, but you do
Speaker 3: talk to them and you do spend time with them,
Speaker 3: that does register with them ultimately.
Speaker 1: So yeah, there's no question that out there that there's
Speaker 1: no question that spending time with someone registers. You know,
Speaker 1: that's that's just one hundred percent they can totally tell.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I mean, I think it did things like
Speaker 1: that and like incorporate like things that are meaningful, like yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean like you're you're again, like your dad being
Speaker 1: at your wedding if he's already forgetting things like is
Speaker 1: he gonna even remember that?
Speaker 2: Like your dad just wants you to be happy?
Speaker 1: I mean, I think is the bottom line, and things
Speaker 1: like if you want things that are register, what I
Speaker 1: found is comedy and music were the two things that,
Speaker 1: no matter how far gone my dad's brain was, those
Speaker 1: are the two things that, up until the end, would register.
Speaker 1: His sense of humor was always the same, even if
Speaker 1: he couldn't remember anything, and he and he definitely remembered
Speaker 1: like lyrics to songs, especially songs from like his you know,
Speaker 1: his childhood, like so whatever, like you know for a
Speaker 1: guy that age, a lot of times it's the Beatles,
Speaker 1: but whatever that.
Speaker 2: Is to you, uh, that go into that and like
Speaker 2: kind of spend time like that.
Speaker 1: I think I think you're Yeah, I think you're just
Speaker 1: like kind of worried about things that it seems like
Speaker 1: he probably already has like lifted past this realm, you know,
Speaker 1: like he's already like in the next stage, and you're
Speaker 1: worried about like these like mortal issues. No one's worried
Speaker 1: about these things. Do whatever you want to do, but
Speaker 1: certainly don't have a wedding just because your dad's dying.
Speaker 1: To me, that's panic mode behavior.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And as people start to die in your life,
Speaker 3: everyone will, you know, everyone will go into panic mode behavior.
Speaker 4: It's just what it is.
Speaker 3: And you'll see how unprepared people are to face death. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's actually kind of embarrassing. Yeah, I'm embarrassed for I'm embarrassed.
Speaker 2: By how do you mean they're unprepared to face death?
Speaker 1: Like I think It's not just a fucking surprise, right,
Speaker 1: Death is coming for us, all of us. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean yeah, I mean like, yeah, I wasn't prepared for
Speaker 1: my dad to die in his sixties but so quick.
Speaker 1: But also, like, you know, I know so many people
Speaker 1: whose dad's you know, died in their twenties or thirties,
Speaker 1: like when the dad was that age, not when they
Speaker 1: were that age. Like yeah, I mean, death could come,
Speaker 1: death kills little children, like like, I don't know, just
Speaker 1: be ready for it.
Speaker 2: You never know when it's coming. Don't put things off.
Speaker 3: But I mean yeah, but also like if you never
Speaker 3: wanted a wedding before, if you have this sudden urge
Speaker 3: to have a wedding, I don't think that's real.
Speaker 2: I think that's anxiety. Yeah, and thanks for reminding me
Speaker 2: that my mom lied about about to be dead. It's
Speaker 2: really funny. Yes, Eric is coming for you to We're
Speaker 2: all going to.
Speaker 1: It's coming for Eric at a rapid pace because of
Speaker 1: the way.
Speaker 2: He treats his body. I gotta get that vitamin Z dog. Yeah,
Speaker 2: what do you want to say?
Speaker 5: Oh, I was just gonna say, if it is such
Speaker 5: a big deal for the dad to the seed for
Speaker 5: him to see you get married, and he is like
Speaker 5: going mentally, I mean you just give it backyard, Yeah,
Speaker 5: get get some rings, get a guy who's good at photoshop,
Speaker 5: a couple of frames.
Speaker 2: Yeah, literally fake it. Yeah, well, Eric, Eric wants her
Speaker 2: last memory with your father to be a lie.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, the moon landing, just gidding, just getting just an
Speaker 3: absolute lie.
Speaker 2: Do you want to get married?
Speaker 3: Eric?
Speaker 2: What's what does marriage mean to you?
Speaker 4: The idea of that.
Speaker 1: I feel like Eric is dying inside to get to
Speaker 1: get married. He's sweety pie.
Speaker 5: I don't know. I've only seen divorce happen. I don't know.
Speaker 2: Are your parents divorce trauma? Is that your trauma?
Speaker 5: I don't know if it's trauma, I don't know. You
Speaker 5: tell me it doesn't doesn't feel like it?
Speaker 4: Good?
Speaker 2: That's great. Yeah. Now we're not trying to create trauma.
Speaker 2: Yeah exactly. And we're not a therapist.
Speaker 3: Yeah. And a lot of times, you know, divorce is
Speaker 3: way better than staying together because then you're just gonna fight,
Speaker 3: and then that's traumatizing.
Speaker 5: Yeah exactly.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well that's a good suggestion. Eric. Thank you for
Speaker 2: chiming in.
Speaker 3: If you are in Springfield, Missouri, I'm going to be
Speaker 3: headlining The Blue Room March twenty second and twenty third.
Speaker 2: I'm super pumped for that.
Speaker 3: And as always, I have a Patreon where once a
Speaker 3: week I do group zoom therapy. It's not technically therapy
Speaker 3: because I'm not a licensed therapist, but we just go
Speaker 3: around and share it whatever we want. And there's a
Speaker 3: five dollars level where you could sign up and just
Speaker 3: listen to the audio from all those zooms. And I'm
Speaker 3: also going to be doing bonus readings of this book,
Speaker 3: super Charged Self Healing by R. J. Spina on that level,
Speaker 3: so I'm very excited about that. And check out the
Speaker 3: Voices in Our Heads comes out every Monday, where I
Speaker 3: talk about things that go on in my life, but
Speaker 3: also at the end, I'll read a self help book.
Speaker 3: And guys, I'm getting so good at reading out loud.
Speaker 3: It's not even fucking funny. Okay, once you have cringe
Speaker 3: for years over how bad you aren't reading out loud,
Speaker 3: eventually you fix it.
Speaker 2: And I fixed it, but I still make mistakes.
Speaker 3: But anyway, it's a great book and you don't have
Speaker 3: to be in dire physical consition to get something out
Speaker 3: of it. It's basically how we are all much more
Speaker 3: powerful than we could ever realize, and that your body
Speaker 3: is actually this magical, beautiful thing that's capable of healing
Speaker 3: beyond what the medical industry has told us.
Speaker 2: And I'm very excited to share all that with you.
Speaker 4: So check it out.
Speaker 2: And this tour that I've been teasing for a while,
Speaker 2: the dates are finally.
Speaker 1: Locked in Carinfisher's I have the Tiger Tour twenty twenty four.
Speaker 1: It's a fourteen city tour. Chloe La Branch will be
Speaker 1: featuring me for me for all of these shows.
Speaker 2: It's great.
Speaker 1: You can get tickets at Carinfisher. And here is the
Speaker 1: list of cities. Tampa April seventeenth, Miami April eighteenth, Atlanta
Speaker 1: April nineteenth and twentieth, Columbus, Ohio April twenty fifth, Raleigh,
Speaker 1: North Carolina April thirtieth, Philadelphia May first, Boston May second, Portland, Oregon,
Speaker 1: May fourteenth, San Francisco May fifteenth, Sacramento May sixteenth, Seattle
Speaker 1: May seventeenth, Houston June twenty seventh, Austin June twenty eighth
Speaker 1: and twenty ninth, and Salt Lake City, Utah, September twenty sixth. Again,
Speaker 1: a lot of these are kind of like big one off.
Speaker 1: Some of them are a couple of shows, a couple
Speaker 1: are a couple of days. But please, if you're going
Speaker 1: to come again, buy the tickets now, because it does
Speaker 1: If these things don't sell properly, it does put them
Speaker 1: in jeopardy of being canceled, like buying same day. So
Speaker 1: so many the shows in a Washington, DC were incredible,
Speaker 1: but like literally hundreds of tickets selling day out.
Speaker 4: Are you serious?
Speaker 2: You can't do it. Don't do that.
Speaker 3: You can't do that to anyone you love. It was great,
Speaker 3: but like you don't underst Yeah, how how you can't
Speaker 3: do that?
Speaker 2: I got anxiety for you. That's terrible. I cannot do that.
Speaker 2: The amount of tickets that we're selling day up. Oh okay, yeah,
Speaker 2: you gotta get them now. I just don't think you know.
Speaker 1: I just don't think you realize the personal the personal
Speaker 1: stress we are put under. All right, So again, Crinfisher
Speaker 1: dot com for all those dates. I have the Tiger
Speaker 1: Tour amazing, amazing, amazing. And then of course, if you
Speaker 1: want to listen to me, get political going into this
Speaker 1: what looks like to be Trump versus Biden twenty twenty
Speaker 1: four presidential election.
Speaker 2: Things are heating the fuck up.
Speaker 1: Make sure to listen to You Without a Country podcast
Speaker 1: comes out every Wednesday night on YouTube and then full
Speaker 1: audio wherever you listen to your podcast. He shoulds getting up? Guy,
Speaker 1: you know he he span knows about me. Guys should
Speaker 1: seating up? Should seating up? I'm an older AOC. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I get your political opinion on something. Sure, it has
Speaker 1: been brought to my attention over the years that and
Speaker 1: throughout the history. Like the government, it seems like the
Speaker 1: government re a government of any kind, but let's take
Speaker 1: the United States.
Speaker 2: Government for example.
Speaker 3: They really kind of rely on there's so much fucking corruption,
Speaker 3: so to the point where it's like a government is
Speaker 3: synonymous with corruption.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's just it's nauseating. But although not as much.
Speaker 1: Okay, so I will say, but although not I agree,
Speaker 1: but not as much as I initially thought, because then
Speaker 1: Hillary would have won the election. Like if corruption was
Speaker 1: if America was truly as propt as some people had suspected,
Speaker 1: Hillary would have won that election. That was actually to
Speaker 1: me revealing that we do our democracy is I think
Speaker 1: more intact than a lot of people would.
Speaker 2: That's good.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because I watched this docu series called The Octopus Murders. Okay,
Speaker 3: Jesus Christ, it was on Netflix.
Speaker 2: It's on Netflix. I believe it's on Netflix, Netflix or
Speaker 2: who I think it's Netflix, U huh.
Speaker 3: But it's this investigative journalist who the Oh my god,
Speaker 3: it's basically this journalist was murdered by the government.
Speaker 2: It was so so, so clear as day.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because they stole some software code and then they
Speaker 3: started to the US government, there's proof of this, started
Speaker 3: selling that exact software security software to other countries. But
Speaker 3: they had a guy put a back door in the
Speaker 3: software code so they could spy on other countries. And
Speaker 3: they had all these the government had all these people killed.
Speaker 3: And then throughout time, like they've had leaders killed.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like yeah, god damn.
Speaker 3: And so but this this kind of idea that the
Speaker 3: government wants the people of its citizens to be at
Speaker 3: odds with each other, to be fighting all the time,
Speaker 3: to have because because when you don't when when you
Speaker 3: can't agree with other citizens and you're just so caught
Speaker 3: up in the I don't know, ego fucking hit of
Speaker 3: like a you're a Trump guy and you're talking to
Speaker 3: a Hillary gal and you just want to fucking punch
Speaker 3: each other's heads until one of y'all bleeds out. The
Speaker 3: government loves that because then you can't rise up. The
Speaker 3: people can't bond together.
Speaker 2: And first sure, you can't have a whole coups.
Speaker 1: They especially do that among slow income people, like you know,
Speaker 1: the stress and citizens out. The number one group that
Speaker 1: I think is putted against each other is poor white
Speaker 1: people and poor black people.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, because it's a such a it's a such
Speaker 3: a large piece of the demographic and uh, if those
Speaker 3: people realized their similarities and joined together, right, they would
Speaker 3: be stoppable and that would be a problem.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So that okay, I'm glad. I'm glad you agree
Speaker 2: because it makes me.
Speaker 3: It makes me rethink how I comment or talk to
Speaker 3: anybody who has opposite political beliefs and like.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, I know, I know, we disagree. It's okay, though,
Speaker 2: because we gotta we gotta mend. We got a band together,
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 4: What I mean.
Speaker 1: Well, that's kind of the joke, like you know, when
Speaker 1: we're when we are fighting, you know, we are on
Speaker 1: uh unknowingly becoming you know, kind of America's little soldiers. Yeah,
Speaker 1: when we are fighting at the way we are, and
Speaker 1: which is so interesting because a lot of the talks,
Speaker 1: especially a lot of the talk, especially on the conservative right,
Speaker 1: is that you know, you want the ability to defend yourself,
Speaker 1: to own guns and stuff, and that's you know, they
Speaker 1: will tell you when you ask, like that's because we
Speaker 1: always want the ability to fight the government.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 1: But it's like, as long as you're fighting liberals against conservatives,
Speaker 1: you are fighting with the government.
Speaker 2: And you have no idea. Yeah, yeah, like it's that's
Speaker 2: of course works.
Speaker 3: It's on purpose, right, And it's like the people that
Speaker 3: storm the Capitol in January sixth, It's like, Okay, the government, Yes,
Speaker 3: the government is corrupt, but you you're thinking about it
Speaker 3: the wrong way, like for the wrong reasons. Really, like, yeah,
Speaker 3: I think it's correct. I actually don't think it's as correct.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's as excessively corrupt in this country
Speaker 1: as some uh, you know, Pizzagate folks would would agree.
Speaker 1: And I'm not even saying that, Like it's just like
Speaker 1: there's just some levels of conspiracy theory that's just going
Speaker 1: that's just going too deep. Like you're it's almost like
Speaker 1: in a relationship when you create an issue where there
Speaker 1: is none because you're bored.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's pizza gate.
Speaker 3: I just I was so impressed when France they tried
Speaker 3: to raise the retirement age by like what two or
Speaker 3: three years.
Speaker 2: They were out in those streets immediately like absolutely the
Speaker 2: fuck not. And I was like, look at that unity.
Speaker 3: I know it's a much smaller country, but my god,
Speaker 3: isn't that nice to see everybody banding together? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Well, I mean that's you know, also a lot of
Speaker 1: times when you see comments from other countries, one of
Speaker 1: the main comments will be like why is racism so
Speaker 1: severe in this country? And I mean part of the
Speaker 1: reason I think we're not trying to.
Speaker 3: Uh correct it it uh more is because yeah, it works,
Speaker 3: its everybody in its favor.
Speaker 1: H god.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And we're so trained as Americans, Like you know,
Speaker 3: I think like other countries like really don't see color,
Speaker 3: but we It is such a talked about issue in
Speaker 3: that country that like when you're talking to someone like
Speaker 3: I don't understand, like you can't get it out of
Speaker 3: your head, Like I'm talking to a black person, I'm
Speaker 3: talking to an Asian person, I'm talking to a Latino
Speaker 3: part Like it's like you are thinking even like with
Speaker 3: woman or man, I'm talking to a woman, I'm talking
Speaker 3: to a man, I'm talking to a queer person, like, yeah,
Speaker 3: there's so much identity discussion in America Like yeah, like
Speaker 3: we're just trained and we're trained. Like this person is
Speaker 3: different even right now, it's weird, Like I can't. I
Speaker 3: feel like.
Speaker 1: It would be hard at this time to even like
Speaker 1: date someone of a different like religion. I'm not even
Speaker 1: not even of religion, like I mean, like, it's just
Speaker 1: like I don't know, it's it's crazy.
Speaker 2: It's we are we are being pitted against each other. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it does feel like that.
Speaker 4: It really does feel like that.
Speaker 2: How are you?
Speaker 4: I'm good? Oh you know what.
Speaker 1: I was so excited because this was all over Instagram yesterday.
Speaker 1: It was the twenty fifth anniversary of the movie Cruel Intentions.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, h crazyven crazy to even believe that.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: I was like, I believe I was like twelve, because
Speaker 1: I think I was still in middle school when that
Speaker 1: came out. I remember vividly going to see it with
Speaker 1: Paula in the Yes nice And I just wanted to
Speaker 1: give a shout out to this movie because you know,
Speaker 1: a lot of people wonder where a personality like this
Speaker 1: comes from some people with a rude tone and some
Speaker 1: people with the positive tone. And I will tell you
Speaker 1: if you want to know what makes Crin Fisher Crian
Speaker 1: Fisher thirty, I'm gonna give thirty three point three percent
Speaker 1: of the credit to the movie Cruel Intentions. This movie
Speaker 1: shaped who I am. It awakened my sexuality more than
Speaker 1: the Yeah, the Craft didn't awaken my sexuality, the craw
Speaker 1: It was just like spoke to me in a language
Speaker 1: that I had been speaking to myself in real intentions.
Speaker 2: Cruel Intentions, I mean it.
Speaker 1: That was the first movie that showed me the power
Speaker 1: of a woman's sexuality in a way that was not
Speaker 1: demeaning to women. Sarah Michelle Geller, my celebrity lookalike, she
Speaker 1: I mean, this woman just spoke to my fucking soul.
Speaker 2: The power she exudes, uh in the the.
Speaker 1: Way she uses her sexuality to control her stepbrother, you know.
Speaker 1: I mean, Ryan Philippie, I mean this is this movie
Speaker 1: changed who I am as a person, and I just
Speaker 1: wanted to take a moment to salute it. If you
Speaker 1: have not seen Cruel Intentions, it is based off the
Speaker 1: film Dangerous Liaisons, not as good because John Malkovich.
Speaker 5: Is just not hot.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be hot, just not hot. Ryan philip is
Speaker 2: so hot. Yeah, this is I watch it. It's a
Speaker 2: great movie period, you know.
Speaker 1: But the Cruel Intentions, there's a something about it that
Speaker 1: will speak and I think it really works.
Speaker 3: And like.
Speaker 1: Someone that i've on Instagram was reviewing Saltburn and she said, oh,
Speaker 1: it has Cruel Intentions vibes, and that's why I watched
Speaker 1: the brand to watch the film.
Speaker 2: And she's right.
Speaker 1: Obviously there's a lot more like stylistic choices in Salt Burn,
Speaker 1: and it gets weirder than Cruel Intentions ever does. But
Speaker 1: you can see the remnants, like the seeds of cruel
Speaker 1: intention in Saltburn, and it's incredible. So thank you Cruel Intentions.
Speaker 1: I had two huge posters. I think they're still hanging
Speaker 1: in my childhood bedroom, actually, one huge poster of Ryan
Speaker 1: Philippy's face, one huge poster of Sarah Michelle Geller's face,
Speaker 1: and man diad that amped me up.
Speaker 2: Paul and I saw that movie and then we went
Speaker 2: back and.
Speaker 1: We started a club called the Cruel Whores, and it
Speaker 1: was just a hilarious club to start when you're twelve
Speaker 1: years old.
Speaker 2: I don't know who we thought we were being cruel
Speaker 2: horror toors. The sexuality of a twelve year old girl
Speaker 2: is pretty intense.
Speaker 4: I mean, yeah it was.
Speaker 1: We thought we were going to run that town. And
Speaker 1: by that town, I do mean you knew New Jersey.
Speaker 1: I don't even think any there's cruel people there, and
Speaker 1: I guess there's horrores there. I don't think there was
Speaker 1: any cruel horrors though. I don't think there's anyone that
Speaker 1: has really learned to manipulate their sexual their sexuality in
Speaker 1: such a powerful way, but cruel intentions. Thank you so
Speaker 1: much for for just giving me the gift of really
Speaker 1: owning my that twelve.
Speaker 2: Year old sexuality. Dude, beautiful. It was a beautiful thing.
Speaker 2: I kind of missed my twelve year old sexuality. Oh gorgeous.
Speaker 2: It's just really like you had this like we're never
Speaker 2: gonna die and we're gonna own everything. You just like
Speaker 2: freaking yeah. It felt very powerful, Oh so powerful, really powerful.
Speaker 3: Oh Beautiful's when I started getting titties around twelve, but
Speaker 3: they really came into fifteen and I was like, yeah,
Speaker 3: there's an interesting So there's this graphic, there's a there's
Speaker 3: a carousel, floating around Instagram in multiple accounts that I
Speaker 3: follow a lot of, like Beyonce account. Somebody somebody must
Speaker 3: have paid to get this post everywhere, but I thought
Speaker 3: it was interesting.
Speaker 2: It's by the age of thirty two.
Speaker 3: You should be smart enough to realize this, and I'll
Speaker 3: read the first Okay, so one year nine to five
Speaker 3: is someone's passive income. Find new ways to make your
Speaker 3: money and create your own income stream skipping around.
Speaker 2: No one is coming to save you.
Speaker 3: Agree with that you shouldn't take advice from people who
Speaker 3: are not where you want to be in life.
Speaker 2: If you find someone smarter than you, work with them,
Speaker 2: don't compete. Like all this stuff I agree with, but.
Speaker 3: One of the one part that they put it on
Speaker 3: the first slide, which I'm like, are you just doing
Speaker 3: this to.
Speaker 2: To well?
Speaker 3: The seconds lie technically to start an argument in the
Speaker 3: comments and get engagement. But number two was porn and
Speaker 3: masturbation are the greatest killers of success. It will stunt
Speaker 3: and destroy your brain. And I'm like, this is exactly
Speaker 3: that's exactly what I want to throw it to.
Speaker 5: Eric.
Speaker 2: What say you, Eric? I mean as somebody who is augh,
Speaker 2: I'm an avid masturbase.
Speaker 1: I think when they say masturbate, They're probably talking about
Speaker 1: male masturbation. How's it different from women? Like women can
Speaker 1: just masturbate and get back to life. I think men
Speaker 1: can't do that. Well, women's brains are I mean, this
Speaker 1: is like a scientifically proven that women's brains are set
Speaker 1: up to multitask in a way that men's aren't. Men
Speaker 1: men men compartmentalize, which I I actually that makes sense
Speaker 1: to me. I can multic task. Obviously, I've spent years
Speaker 1: being an assistant to people. But when I want to
Speaker 1: really get work done, I definitely compartmentalized, even like with
Speaker 1: my with my uh, like grief, I literally sectioned off
Speaker 1: grief because like I needed to mourn my dad's death,
Speaker 1: but then and so I compartmental did that and then
Speaker 1: I and then I had it. Then I had to
Speaker 1: handle my childhood best friend's death and then my breakup
Speaker 1: with Dylan, Like those are all things I needed to
Speaker 1: grieve at the same time, but I literally chunked them
Speaker 1: off so that I could do one at a time.
Speaker 2: I don't know how I did that, but I did,
Speaker 2: and it were great.
Speaker 5: Eric, Eric, what do I think about masturbased.
Speaker 2: How often do you watch porn? Like You're You're you
Speaker 2: are you?
Speaker 1: You put you achieve a lot. Do you feel like
Speaker 1: you have sacrificed some masturbation to achieve more? Or have
Speaker 1: you worked in the mouth disturbation? Again, there's no hr here,
Speaker 1: so don't even think about it.
Speaker 5: Sorry, No, I feel like, uh, masturbation comes with a
Speaker 5: lot of if you have like a high workload, if
Speaker 5: you're a guy, you need, Yeah, you need.
Speaker 2: Where's my symbol? We're twelve?
Speaker 5: I know, I feel like you got it.
Speaker 2: I wish I was twelve again.
Speaker 5: If I have a day of fourteen hours of editing, Yeah,
Speaker 5: I jerk off probably two three times.
Speaker 2: WOA really wait so you can bounce back after?
Speaker 3: Because after I jerk off, there's like a minute where
Speaker 3: I'm like ah, because I like to like let those
Speaker 3: chemicals just wash over me like a nice shower of.
Speaker 2: Lights, and then I just get back into it. So
Speaker 2: you guys can do that too.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean he's he's young too, So you're what's
Speaker 3: the what's the refractory period is shorter when you're young?
Speaker 5: Yeah, it definitely is shorter. But I mean, I mean
Speaker 5: it's like I feel like it's got to be very
Speaker 5: different as far as men and women like because it's
Speaker 5: I'm just trying to get the evil out. It's like
Speaker 5: this tension that builds up over time, and then it's
Speaker 5: just like, oh, I can go back to being a
Speaker 5: person again.
Speaker 2: Eric's performing an exorcism in the middle of editing.
Speaker 3: I have had a lot of men describe a masturbation
Speaker 3: as getting the evil out, and I was always like,
Speaker 3: all right, all right, but then when multiple men do it,
Speaker 3: maybe there's something to it. So like, for you, you
Speaker 3: will be more productive because you are getting the distraction
Speaker 3: out of your body.
Speaker 2: Correct. Yeah, yeah, it does clear your head, it's relaxing.
Speaker 1: I basically only masturbate right before I'm going to go
Speaker 1: to bed, because like just in the middle of it's
Speaker 1: the that's the only time, ideal time, because then it's.
Speaker 2: Just it's just too much. I don't know if you
Speaker 2: get like this, Eric, because I'm more horny like a guy.
Speaker 3: I think if I get the idea during my data masturbate,
Speaker 3: I gotta go do it or else I'm just gonna
Speaker 3: be thinking about it.
Speaker 5: Is that I don't know if it's the idea. It's
Speaker 5: just like I get this thing, and I have this thing,
Speaker 5: and then I have to do this later. It's like, yeah,
Speaker 5: you just go jerk off, and then you're like, okay,
Speaker 5: now I can I can calm down and look at
Speaker 5: this for a more a more.
Speaker 2: When you jerk off, watch do you watch porn?
Speaker 5: Sometimes?
Speaker 2: Wow, that's power.
Speaker 4: That is powerful.
Speaker 1: No, you said you'll get the idea to masturbate in
Speaker 1: your head. So you're literally just getting the idea to masturbate.
Speaker 1: You're not getting a sexual idea that inspires you to masturbate,
Speaker 1: because I never really just like unless I am unless
Speaker 1: I have really really high anxiety and I know that's
Speaker 1: the only way I can get to sleep. That's the
Speaker 1: only reason when I'll get just the idea to masturbate.
Speaker 1: Usually it's something that sets me off that that I'm like, oh, no,
Speaker 1: I had this conversation or I had this interaction with
Speaker 1: a person, and now I need to masturbate.
Speaker 2: It's it's not a sexual thought that arises. It's a
Speaker 2: stress level.
Speaker 3: If my stress level gets to a certain point, which
Speaker 3: it does apparently every day, I just go time to
Speaker 3: time to get.
Speaker 2: That vibrator out.
Speaker 1: Well, So then that what you just described, it seems
Speaker 1: like maybe you're not like as hyper sexual as much
Speaker 1: as you are hyper stressed out.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm just kind.
Speaker 2: Of always horny.
Speaker 3: And then when the idea pops into my brain, like
Speaker 3: sometimes a treat during it Yeah, like during the day,
Speaker 3: the idea won't pop into my brain because I'm just
Speaker 3: like on a roll or the flow state or whatever
Speaker 3: the fuck. And then other times it just will and
Speaker 3: it's yeah, and I and I do watch porn, but uh,
Speaker 3: it's weird. I always I always masturbate to the idea
Speaker 3: of my boyfriend fucking someone else in front of me.
Speaker 2: I haven't watched porn in so long.
Speaker 3: I used to be really into porn, but not if
Speaker 3: he's been years, I just really can't watch it anymore.
Speaker 2: I'm not into it. Eric, do you think that porn
Speaker 2: shapes how you view women or not?
Speaker 5: I'm sure it's doing some damage below the surface, but
Speaker 5: I try to not let it impact my real life decisions.
Speaker 2: That's sweet, that's good. What kind of porn are you like?
Speaker 5: What kind of porn do I like? Like, you gotta
Speaker 5: go to category not necessarily, I mean, I there are
Speaker 5: like certain is this just you nervous now a little bit? Yeah?
Speaker 2: This is a quiz now? Yeah, it's fine.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I know it's fine, we can talk about it.
Speaker 5: I'm not I'm not afraid. I mean, what's the worst
Speaker 5: that's going to happen.
Speaker 2: I feel like I don't want to look at you either.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm sorry.
Speaker 3: I'm making him home Comfortabeel like this is like I'm
Speaker 3: having a conversation with my nephewet I get reported, go ahead,
Speaker 3: or if you want to share, you can.
Speaker 5: Squirt is one squirt one.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's a great one.
Speaker 5: Threesome or group just because it's interesting.
Speaker 2: Classic class, a lot of people all having fun in
Speaker 2: the same room.
Speaker 5: I feel like that's enough. Okay, maybe later the.
Speaker 2: Third one gets real weird. That's what he just revealed.
Speaker 5: Yeah, the third one is just pissed and ship and
Speaker 5: there's no sex.
Speaker 1: Hey there's It's not really for me, yeah, because I
Speaker 1: need to get pink guy. Yeah that's not good.
Speaker 2: Oh thank you my neighbor.
Speaker 3: I was talking to my neighbor today about the elevators
Speaker 3: of my building and he just had the biggest sty
Speaker 3: on his eyelid, and I'm like, oh, this is touff.
Speaker 2: Please don't come near me. Go away. I'm sorry your
Speaker 2: wife ship in your eye, but I want that on me. Okay,
Speaker 2: you know who I.
Speaker 3: Do want to tell me to use Johnson and Johnson
Speaker 3: baby shampoo that gets the side down.
Speaker 2: Oh really yeah, good to know.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, yeah, you.
Speaker 2: Know I do want on me uh in a in
Speaker 2: a conversational way, our guest boy. These segments are smooth
Speaker 2: as butter. She is a stand up comedian.
Speaker 3: She's the co host of Being Ian with Jordan, and
Speaker 3: she has a stand up special that you can watch
Speaker 3: for free on YouTube called thirty Minutes with Jordan Jensen.
Speaker 2: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Jordan Jensen.
Speaker 4: I'm so happy to have you that I always forget
Speaker 4: to wear make up or nice thing.
Speaker 3: No, I love.
Speaker 1: I actually love that you walked in wearing camo for hunting.
Speaker 1: Yes real well, podcasting should only be audio, but I just.
Speaker 4: Forget and like I go to La, Like I just
Speaker 4: did Amy Wineeshank's podcast and she just you know, she
Speaker 4: had beautiful and.
Speaker 2: I Sarah Wine Shank, Yeah, and we and we are
Speaker 2: next week. What did I say, Amy? I said, I'm
Speaker 2: not familiar with Amy Wine. It's like Amy Wine. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4: Amy Wine. Same thing every time I'm next to her.
Speaker 2: That would be looks at Amy Winehouse's pot.
Speaker 4: Dude, r I p that is as bad. That was
Speaker 4: a bad li she's a she's a bad bitch. Yeah,
Speaker 4: but yeah, I always forget. And I just was at
Speaker 4: the park rolling in mud with my puppy.
Speaker 1: That's why I think that that that's your appeal, though,
Speaker 1: like part of it is like if you tried, it's
Speaker 1: hard in the same way that other female comedians are
Speaker 1: like like that, I mean it's a compliment. It feels
Speaker 1: like not a compliment, but like, no, it wouldn't just
Speaker 1: show up as who you are and who you are
Speaker 1: authentically are.
Speaker 2: It's so much better people recognize it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I can't. I've tried. One time, I wore lipstick
Speaker 4: and I went into a potluck where that all my
Speaker 4: friends were having in. A kid that I know was
Speaker 4: just like across the room was like are you wearing lipstick?
Speaker 4: And I just started punching the shop. I just was
Speaker 4: so embarrassed. I was like, shut, So I don't wear it.
Speaker 1: So like, if you show up to like a date
Speaker 1: and your and you're child dating, you've never been on
Speaker 1: a date ever.
Speaker 4: I showed up. I went on a date the other
Speaker 4: day because my therapist forced me by hand and it
Speaker 4: was nice. It was I wore a turtleneck, okay, okay,
Speaker 4: which was the most feminine thing I owned a turtleneck,
Speaker 4: A black turtleneck. That's the most I don't have dresses.
Speaker 4: And then I but I had a car heart only.
Speaker 2: A car heart turtleneck.
Speaker 4: No, a car heart jacket. So that's my winter coat.
Speaker 4: So I'm going I have and or I'm sorry, I
Speaker 4: have twelve of them, but they're all car heart, right,
Speaker 4: And so I just looked like I was like a
Speaker 4: real estate agent for like cabins.
Speaker 3: You know, real estate porn is really hot, so that
Speaker 3: could have been very attractive to your day to get
Speaker 3: into that real estate porn or real estate.
Speaker 4: Oh no, I'm not watching porn.
Speaker 5: Porn.
Speaker 4: I'm against porn. I've decided I'm against porn.
Speaker 2: What made you arrive at that decision?
Speaker 4: I just I think it's I think it's really bad
Speaker 4: for dating. I think it's bad for relationships. It's bad
Speaker 4: for When I watch it, I like compare myself and
Speaker 4: sometimes it's helpful, like sometimes I'm like, oh, my tits
Speaker 4: are better than that, you know, But other times it's
Speaker 4: just like, I, you know what it is. I really
Speaker 4: really hate the role that the the feminine in it.
Speaker 4: I really don't like.
Speaker 2: That's why I had I was.
Speaker 3: I was really into porn for a while and I
Speaker 3: just couldn't get past the use of women as an object.
Speaker 4: The gagging is like the gagging that's not even just
Speaker 4: a category. It's like if it's a blowjob video, which
Speaker 4: I get is hot, Like I actually do get why
Speaker 4: that's hot because you can actually, if you hear them gag,
Speaker 4: you can probably feel viscerally the tightness of the throat
Speaker 4: in your mind. But I'm also just like there's like
Speaker 4: tears coming down. I'm like, let's smell it.
Speaker 2: Just don't admit it.
Speaker 3: That's why gagging is hot, because your throat constricts, not
Speaker 3: because the guy's like.
Speaker 4: Well, duke's so big, she's going. I think it's both,
Speaker 4: but I think the noise probably, like you know, when
Speaker 4: you're blowing a dude, if you make any noise struggle,
Speaker 4: They're like, yes, because I was blowing a.
Speaker 2: Guy this morning and that happened, and yeah, I was.
Speaker 2: I almost got PTSD because I've thrown up on it.
Speaker 2: The last time I did it, I threw up. Well,
Speaker 2: we were in the shower.
Speaker 3: Wait when it just was punched in the back of
Speaker 3: my throat and it couldn't take any more punches and
Speaker 3: it just came out like a frozen entrey, just like fucking.
Speaker 2: But we're in the shower, so that's good. Killed the mood,
Speaker 2: which is fine.
Speaker 4: Wait, you threw up today or one time a couple
Speaker 4: months ago, it's awful. It's the worst feeling in the
Speaker 4: entire world.
Speaker 2: You're only going to the last blowjob, so this last
Speaker 2: one I didn't throw.
Speaker 4: Up, so that's nice.
Speaker 5: Good.
Speaker 2: Wait, you threw up throwing up blow job?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Really?
Speaker 4: The acid reflux thing my stomach after eating too much.
Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, right, right right.
Speaker 4: I threw up a little last night in my mouth
Speaker 4: because I'm so hungry that I binge. I like ate
Speaker 4: like power bar to go to sleep, and I rolled
Speaker 4: over at my stomach.
Speaker 2: I was like, wow, Yeah.
Speaker 1: The only time, I mean the one of the most
Speaker 1: recent times I threw up, it was because I ate
Speaker 1: too much, and then I went to the bathroom, threw
Speaker 1: up at a restaurant, and then came back in order dessert.
Speaker 3: Nice. It was sick accidental blim like skill the ratnerd
Speaker 3: Jane Curtains vibe. It was purposeful, but I really wanted
Speaker 3: chureros and I was like, wow, my body, my body
Speaker 3: helped me out right here.
Speaker 4: I've tried being bullimic when I was younger. I couldn't
Speaker 4: do it. It would just binge, nice way to go.
Speaker 4: I can't do it. It's control half much of a
Speaker 4: gag reflex. I really like, I don't like, oh gag
Speaker 4: and a little bit will come up, but it's never
Speaker 4: I can't like make my self barf if I drink
Speaker 4: too much or something like that. Oh okay, yeah, mine's
Speaker 4: it's really hard to create them once we're.
Speaker 3: Roller.
Speaker 4: And he was like helping me, and I was like,
Speaker 4: I feel really bad and I need to make myself
Speaker 4: So I was just taking bigger and bigger objects and
Speaker 4: trying to make myself puke. And he was like, so
Speaker 4: that one still's not doing it. Had I was like,
Speaker 4: don't look at me. What were you saying?
Speaker 2: Where are you from? I feel like you're from silly
Speaker 2: okay if you're a silly vibe.
Speaker 4: Really I think probably just because I'm affiliated with Ian
Speaker 4: I'm from I'm from like you know, I'm from the woods. Yeah,
Speaker 4: the woods.
Speaker 2: That's nice. You actually hunted.
Speaker 4: You just have a shirt killing animal. Okay, I'm really animal.
Speaker 4: I hate all people and I love every single animal that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, even a bug a bird.
Speaker 4: I hate killing bugs. I hate killing cockroaches. I know
Speaker 4: that's crazy, now I saved.
Speaker 1: I was walking from a spot in the rain on
Speaker 1: yes on Saturday, and a worm was in too much water,
Speaker 1: and I picked up the worm and I put it
Speaker 1: in the in the dirt like in the cemetery because
Speaker 1: I was like, that worm, I don't think that worm
Speaker 1: can get out of there by itself.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but yeah he can, just you know what, the water.
Speaker 2: He seemed to be strung.
Speaker 1: I like, let I let him do it for himself
Speaker 1: for a couple of minutes, and he didn't seem to
Speaker 1: have the wherewith all.
Speaker 2: Wow, Yeah, because I I.
Speaker 1: Don't like getting involved with nature if they can do
Speaker 1: it themselves. But it just seemed like it wasn't working
Speaker 1: out for yeah.
Speaker 3: So it really is a testament to how much people
Speaker 3: have their head up their own asshole at all times
Speaker 3: that like animals, I would much rather be in the
Speaker 3: company of any animal than a person like It's I
Speaker 3: often ponder that and go, why is that? It's because
Speaker 3: animals are present with you and they're just they don't
Speaker 3: want anything from you.
Speaker 4: They're just there.
Speaker 2: It's nice.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's so they're super. Also, I'm realizing now that
Speaker 4: I have I just got a dog, and it's like
Speaker 4: the way the way people interact, like unless you're in Manhattan,
Speaker 4: but in Brooklyn, when dogs interact with each other because
Speaker 4: they're approaching each other like hi, hi, Hi, it makes
Speaker 4: you say to that. It makes you go to the person.
Speaker 4: You're not like, get away from you, bitch, You're like, right, hi, hi, right,
Speaker 4: because you're like you're watching two beings interact in a
Speaker 4: in a in a good way where they're like we sniff,
Speaker 4: we check, and now we play and it's and so
Speaker 4: when you're interacting with people, it makes you weigh less
Speaker 4: of a piece of shit because you're like, I literally
Speaker 4: have evidence right here of how two people should behave
Speaker 4: when they're interact.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 4: But yeah, I've always met My dad was like a
Speaker 4: vegetarian super. My whole family is like in saying animal people.
Speaker 4: And I always was like the one that was like,
Speaker 4: you guys are whack, just chill and then I was like,
Speaker 4: all right, I got it.
Speaker 3: Then when you learn like makeup gets tested on animals,
Speaker 3: and then you learn how like chicken is the life
Speaker 3: of a chicken before you eat it, and you're like,
Speaker 3: this is now eating your bad juju WoT that.
Speaker 4: I know every time I take mushrooms, I'm like eating meat,
Speaker 4: being like this could just be my own arm. This
Speaker 4: could just might as well be my own arm. This
Speaker 4: is crazy. But yeah, it's a no. I don't hunt.
Speaker 4: I would hunt. I would try it. I have Alaskan friends.
Speaker 4: I would try it and eat everything else.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if you're gonna eat it, yeah, yeah, but I don't.
Speaker 4: I'm not really like a fan of like ski. I
Speaker 4: don't really like sitting in the cold. Cold sucks. I
Speaker 4: don't even like it. Yeah, when I was really fat,
Speaker 4: I used to love it.
Speaker 2: I used to be fat.
Speaker 4: How fat were you too?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 4: I was probably one ninety in seventh grade.
Speaker 2: How tall?
Speaker 1: You're kind of tall though I wasn't then really, Oh
Speaker 1: you sprouted late, your height came late.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Also, all my friends are taller than me, So there's
Speaker 4: something wrong with there's something wrong with Upstates. It's but
Speaker 4: it's like Canada, you know how they're all like trees
Speaker 4: more north you go, people just are way taller. All
Speaker 4: my female friends anytime, Like I bring a pack of
Speaker 4: them around comic comedians, They're like, Jesus, what's going on?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Trees? But yeah, the they What was I talking about?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's my favorite personality type. I'm very intrigued by.
Speaker 1: Used to be fat?
Speaker 4: Those are those are the best.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean there's just something a lot of comics
Speaker 2: are used to be fat.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's what what would you say is the
Speaker 3: main takeaway of somebody who was overweight and then not anymore?
Speaker 2: Like what what is it with your psyche or with your.
Speaker 4: There's a fundamental feeling that I that if left alone
Speaker 4: to my own devices, I will transform into a monster. Therefore,
Speaker 4: people who used to be fat are very much they're
Speaker 4: they're really fun to be around because they're like, they're like,
Speaker 4: just stay in acting with me, because if I'm by
Speaker 4: myself for a second, it'll get really, really rough. So
Speaker 4: I'm just gonna entertain you and be around you so
Speaker 4: that we can be best friends and then you'll love me,
Speaker 4: and then I won't have to be alone in a
Speaker 4: room where in which the darkness will Oh sell Yeah,
Speaker 4: I mean, which I still am. I mean, I still
Speaker 4: have a horrible food addiction. But it's like it's I
Speaker 4: was also on so much medication as a kid that
Speaker 4: I is.
Speaker 2: That what made you overweight? Or is that what it's
Speaker 2: vacation to get?
Speaker 4: What happens is if you take I was just looking
Speaker 4: at it because now I'm on prozac. I mean, I've
Speaker 4: been on prozac for years. But the more prozac you take,
Speaker 4: the more kind of slightly dissociated you are.
Speaker 2: That's why everybody's not depressed, but they're also not happy.
Speaker 4: They're not depressed. It's great, I mean it is. It's
Speaker 4: you don't really change who you are. You just don't
Speaker 4: get like like, if I tell myself not to eat,
Speaker 4: that's an obsessive thought, right, Like you're gonna temper, you're
Speaker 4: gonna control your diet.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: But if I'm on something that says don't you're not
Speaker 4: freaking out. You don't have to freak out out about anything.
Speaker 4: I'm just gonna hit dope of mean a little bit
Speaker 4: more easily. Like I'm not going to have the obsessive
Speaker 4: thoughts of to hold back. I'm just gonna be like
Speaker 4: why not? Why not? Why not? And then you next thing,
Speaker 4: you know, you're huge?
Speaker 2: So wait, is the prozac for ADHD for compulsive disorder.
Speaker 4: I take it for OCD and for keeping okay.
Speaker 1: Because I have OCD too, and I've never I didn't
Speaker 1: know that you could take prozac for OCD.
Speaker 2: How severe is your OCD? Though it seems a lot crippling?
Speaker 4: Oh no, oh yeah?
Speaker 2: What's the thoughts that happened?
Speaker 4: And when do they happen? I mean when I was
Speaker 4: a kid, it was like I couldn't touch any of
Speaker 4: the doorknobs in my school. Thank god, I went to
Speaker 4: like a hippie school. I get that there are people
Speaker 4: that would help, but people. My thing growing up was
Speaker 4: I thought people, so say we met right now, and
Speaker 4: I was in high school and one of you said,
Speaker 4: one of you said, I cheated on my boyfriend last night, okay,
Speaker 4: or I hate my mom okay, And then you you said,
Speaker 4: can I have a sip of that? Or can I
Speaker 4: touch that? I would think that your personality where you're
Speaker 4: mean to your mom or your cheat would rub off
Speaker 4: on me, and I know it wasn't true, but oh
Speaker 4: then I actually leave the room and everything on me
Speaker 4: would be contaminated because you might have touched it, and
Speaker 4: I would have to wash everything with ten cups of soap,
Speaker 4: I would have to take a steaming shower andvai No.
Speaker 1: This resonates a lot because so even now, like my
Speaker 1: my OCC is a lot more under control than it
Speaker 1: used to be. But like I hesitate to like someone's
Speaker 1: Instagram post if they recently did something that I find
Speaker 1: to be like, dude, instactically bad because I feel like
Speaker 1: it will rub off on me Instagram.
Speaker 4: I have to I have to do. This is really
Speaker 4: fucked up. I've never said this a loud If I'm
Speaker 4: scrolling yeah and about to put my phone down, I
Speaker 4: have to and I end on a comic who I
Speaker 4: think sucks. I have to end on a comic who
Speaker 4: I think is good.
Speaker 2: Like it does get you think it's gonna get on you.
Speaker 1: It's like it's a contagion that doesn't actually exist, but
Speaker 1: then in the OCS mind it does. That's really funny
Speaker 1: because sometimes I'll just I'll have things and I'm like,
Speaker 1: is this a quirker?
Speaker 2: Is this OCD?
Speaker 1: I've literally called other people with OCD to ask them
Speaker 1: is this an O c D thought or is this
Speaker 1: just a current thought?
Speaker 4: Is hard? Dog like is a puppy, so she'll poop
Speaker 4: on things And I have the amount of times I
Speaker 4: call my best friend being like, okay, two wet wipes
Speaker 4: and there's nothing there, but do you think I should
Speaker 4: take it? You know, and she'll be like, that's completely sufficient,
Speaker 4: that's fine. You know, she's been saving me my entire life.
Speaker 4: But I used to do this thing where I couldn't
Speaker 4: cross a crack if I had an if I had
Speaker 4: a bad thought.
Speaker 2: Yeah, hard, Yeah, I had a bad your mom's back,
Speaker 2: that's that's saying haunting us my life. I very playfully
Speaker 2: was like stepping on all the cracks, no haunting.
Speaker 4: I was obsessed about my mom getting hurt.
Speaker 2: Yep, me too.
Speaker 4: So I heard that that is definitely what it is.
Speaker 4: And then I would just uh. My best friend Brianna
Speaker 4: would be like, if I say sugar plum, that means
Speaker 4: no matter what you're thinking, you get to move forward.
Speaker 4: So we would just be walking and I and I'd
Speaker 4: be like, and she'd be like sugar plum, and then
Speaker 4: I could come. So then I ended up with me
Speaker 4: called her and she'd literally pick up and be like
Speaker 4: sugar plum hanging back up, and and then OCD chose
Speaker 4: her as the contaminated person.
Speaker 2: Didn't talk for a year because you thought she was contaminated.
Speaker 2: It just chose her.
Speaker 4: Anything.
Speaker 3: So it has like an entity because because you were
Speaker 3: saying you logically know that these things are not true,
Speaker 3: but so but you can't. That logic is not enough
Speaker 3: to overpower you not doing it or not obsessing about it.
Speaker 4: The OCD logic was she has always been I was
Speaker 4: always like the fat one, and she was a really
Speaker 4: beautiful one. And then boys started liking me, and I
Speaker 4: thought that if I was if she touched me, that
Speaker 4: the only reason they would like me is because she
Speaker 4: had touched me.
Speaker 3: WHOA.
Speaker 4: So I slowly started pulling away, and then after a
Speaker 4: year of it was like very difficult year for both
Speaker 4: of us. I was like it was OCD and she
Speaker 4: was like, I know, and then immediately became best friends again.
Speaker 4: Oh yes, she's the best.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 3: She didn't take it personally, no, and she something like
Speaker 3: OCD I imagine is so invasive, Like you can't, like.
Speaker 2: How does it affect dating?
Speaker 4: I mean that's why I'm still on prozac because I
Speaker 4: tripped balls on acid once and I was like, I'm
Speaker 4: gonna deal with this OCD. And and and I like,
Speaker 4: and I went into a trip for like an incredible
Speaker 4: amount of hours that was like horrific and also really good.
Speaker 4: But by the end of it, I was like, the
Speaker 4: reason why I have OCD is because I do not
Speaker 4: like I don't. I'm worried that we don't know who
Speaker 4: Jordan is. I could be somebody who stabs somebody or
Speaker 4: stabs myself, and I'm always obsessing about how to keep
Speaker 4: this unified sense of self. And then in the acid trip,
Speaker 4: I was like, oh, I am just like I'm like
Speaker 4: an amalgamation of genetics and also all the choices I've
Speaker 4: made and all the choices I've made up till now
Speaker 4: have been Jordan, and that's who she is, and you
Speaker 4: can trust that person, like you can cut You're not
Speaker 4: a sociopath, yeah, or I'm not going to be on
Speaker 4: a roof and jump off like that's the right, right, right.
Speaker 4: So but now I'm on prozac because if there's I mean,
Speaker 4: I have depression also, but if there's in a relationship,
Speaker 4: it'll be like this, I mean it'll be like it's like, so,
Speaker 4: say we hang up the phone and you're like, all right,
Speaker 4: I'll talk to you later. I'll just be like, hey,
Speaker 4: are you like mad at me? And they're like, no,
Speaker 4: I'm not mad at you, and I'm like, okay, just
Speaker 4: double checking you're not mad at me, and they're like
Speaker 4: I'm not mad at you and I'm like, okay, but
Speaker 4: are you saying that? Because so that's happens where you're
Speaker 4: like I need a certain sentence to be said and
Speaker 4: you can't let that happen at all because that like
Speaker 4: totally erodes any relationships.
Speaker 2: So way to guess someone to get mad at you
Speaker 2: real fast?
Speaker 3: Right, yeah, like your best friend, like if you have,
Speaker 3: so I think of the people in my life that
Speaker 3: I no longer talk to because they were so difficult
Speaker 3: to deal with. But then I'm like, now that I
Speaker 3: zoom back, I'm like, oh, this is what was going on.
Speaker 3: If I would have just known that, I wouldn't have
Speaker 3: taken it personally. So it seems like you have good
Speaker 3: communication with like at least that one best friend is
Speaker 3: like she gets it. It's not personal. Yeah, So that's
Speaker 3: really that's nice. You can feel seen and heard.
Speaker 4: But in relationships, it'll get you'll get addicted to the hit,
Speaker 4: like you get like like you'll you'll have to then
Speaker 4: every time I call, if it doesn't end that certain way,
Speaker 4: I will have to get it the next time and
Speaker 4: the next time. So the only way to deal with it,
Speaker 4: Like I still have one tick where if I if
Speaker 4: I take my pills at night, I have to drink
Speaker 4: a huge amount of water else I think I'm aout
Speaker 4: to die in my sleep. And the only way I
Speaker 4: could get rid of that is to not is to
Speaker 4: take ones of a water and go and sleep. And
Speaker 4: that's impossible for me right now. But if I did it,
Speaker 4: I would it would that would be the step to
Speaker 4: move past that.
Speaker 2: Have you ever like did you have?
Speaker 3: I know a lot of personality disorders or like mental
Speaker 3: things can be can be traced. Its roots can be
Speaker 3: traced to some usually a childhood thing, but sometimes not.
Speaker 2: Does OCD have roots in that? Like like or are
Speaker 2: you just born with it?
Speaker 4: I think you can't. I think it has roots? Am
Speaker 4: I a person? Opinion? Is it has roots in childhood?
Speaker 4: I think that if you I think that you create
Speaker 4: a structure of rules for yourself if nobody gave you one. Yeah,
Speaker 4: So I think that if if you're just kind of
Speaker 4: left to raise yourself, you're like, I think I have
Speaker 4: to tap this three times in order for something bad.
Speaker 3: So you feel in control right, like you're going somewhere
Speaker 3: and doing something right. I'm being a good girl today
Speaker 3: because I'm doing all the peopoo peepoo.
Speaker 4: And I also think that it's like an overactive imagination.
Speaker 4: It's a it's it's usually it's usually not like it's
Speaker 4: also it's a it's a snowball effect. So like I
Speaker 4: remember when I was little, my dad was like, don't
Speaker 4: let the dog in your room. He'll shit in your room.
Speaker 4: And I remember closing the door and then being like
Speaker 4: did I close the door, and going back and closing
Speaker 4: the door, and then going did I close the door?
Speaker 4: And that was when it kind of started. So if
Speaker 4: right then a parent had been like, no, you don't,
Speaker 4: we're not doing that. We closed it, walk away, that
Speaker 4: would have. But there wasn't any like they didn't catch
Speaker 4: the science and once they did, they were like, well,
Speaker 4: we just have to help her. We'll take her to
Speaker 4: the I mean not my my dad was like this
Speaker 4: is ridiculous, but my mom was like, all right, let's
Speaker 4: do the ten cups of soap, like and then one
Speaker 4: therapist was like, we have to do exposure therapy, bring
Speaker 4: in some contaminated items, and I was like, I'll see
Speaker 4: you in hell?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Are you insane? Who in my life? I mean, I
Speaker 4: couldn't even She's like, I was like, you think I
Speaker 4: can touch the bag? They've already been like incinerated, you know, right,
Speaker 4: So yeah, it is, it is. And then I went
Speaker 4: to college and I and I did exposure therapy. By
Speaker 4: just starting, I bought all new things, and anytime I
Speaker 4: met a contaminated person, I would be like, Hi, nice
Speaker 4: to meet you. Touch my hand. Okay o.
Speaker 2: What is a contaminated person?
Speaker 4: A cunt?
Speaker 2: Oh? Like a mean person? Like when I get their
Speaker 2: essence on you? Yeah, I see that makes sense. That yeah,
Speaker 2: that makes sense.
Speaker 3: I was like, I want to do like a past
Speaker 3: life aggression on you or something to figure out there's
Speaker 3: deeper roots to this.
Speaker 4: But that's a woo that's a woo option, that's what.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I don't know. I've never thought of my I mean,
Speaker 4: it'd probably be a boy or an animal. I don't
Speaker 4: imagine my past life was a woman.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this could be your first life as a woman.
Speaker 1: Why you feel like you might something through? I feel
Speaker 1: like it's it's good. It's a good time to feel
Speaker 1: like you're kind of just starting as a woman because
Speaker 1: it's so cool to be like non non binary.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, but then everybody's like, are you non binary?
Speaker 4: And I'm like, no, I'm just a bad woman. I'm
Speaker 4: just insufficient, you know.
Speaker 1: But you do you seem to like you still do well.
Speaker 1: You have boyfriends and stuff like men are attracted to you,
Speaker 1: right yeah?
Speaker 2: And women or are you straight by or straight straight?
Speaker 4: Unfortunately?
Speaker 1: I think it must be like tiring to keep having
Speaker 1: to tell people that you're straight.
Speaker 4: It's super tiring. Yeah, it's super tiring. And it's also
Speaker 4: like it makes me angry because I think that it's
Speaker 4: it's almost like being like you're utilitarian, therefore you're gay
Speaker 4: is like right, No, I don't understand that, but it
Speaker 4: does stuff. Yeah, it's okay, And I'm just operating like
Speaker 4: a man, like I was raised by basically two men.
Speaker 4: My mom is the most the least maternal, most masculine person,
Speaker 4: and my dad was like a cowboy.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 4: So I'm like, I'm just doing what they do. And
Speaker 4: then when I try and do female stuff, my feet
Speaker 4: her and I and I don't know high heels. I mean,
Speaker 4: it's insane.
Speaker 2: I bought a pair. I have a pair of.
Speaker 3: Alison Olivia high heels that I haven't worn in years,
Speaker 3: and I tried them on my house just for such
Speaker 3: shits and giggles.
Speaker 2: I fell over.
Speaker 3: I'm like, what the fuck do women put themselves through this?
Speaker 3: It does look really hot, but it's like absolutely not
Speaker 3: worth the pain. I'd have to numb my legs to
Speaker 3: be okay with going outside in those shoes.
Speaker 4: Luckily, I figured out that if you can just go full,
Speaker 4: if you are self possessed in the masculinity, like Pamela
Speaker 4: Adline kind of thing, and you're fine, you just have
Speaker 4: to like you can't. It's when you try and cover
Speaker 4: it up, it gets.
Speaker 2: A little Yeah, you might as well lean in do it.
Speaker 2: It's something unique about you. So like, when's the last
Speaker 2: time you were a dress?
Speaker 3: Wow?
Speaker 4: Did I go to a wedding at some point? Oh,
Speaker 4: I went to a wedding. I wore converse and a
Speaker 4: nice Okay, but I had to wear the converse, right.
Speaker 4: I can wear a dress if if I can, I
Speaker 4: can do it. It just has to have be punk ish, Okay,
Speaker 4: you know what I mean. It can't be roofy in
Speaker 4: college I could more. There can be a farm y
Speaker 4: dress or like a punky dress, but it's I it
Speaker 4: has to be very nothing can be uncomfortable.
Speaker 2: I can't be like that's wise. I mean, yeah, it
Speaker 2: can be because then.
Speaker 4: Then I'm like, why am I just because totally and
Speaker 4: then I'm just growling at people in a dress.
Speaker 3: So, so, what kind of guys do you like? And
Speaker 3: what kind of guys are attracted to you? And they
Speaker 3: could be the same thing, but they could be different.
Speaker 4: Guys that are attracted to me are the people who
Speaker 4: are like a little simpy because they want a dad,
Speaker 4: you know, and your dad's son. Yeah, and you know
Speaker 4: what I mean, Like they're a little bit like, uh poetic.
Speaker 2: Oh, I love that kind of guy.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's what usually goes for me. I think there's
Speaker 4: a little bit of I have the masculinity that they're lacking.
Speaker 4: And I also think there's a like romanticism around, like
Speaker 4: being androgynists together. That's typically And what I'm into.
Speaker 5: Is like.
Speaker 4: Guys who are really like withholding with emotion and very nice. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I'm into like guys who are very like I don't
Speaker 4: I'm not into this. I'm into guys who are into
Speaker 4: girls who are more feminine than me.
Speaker 2: Okay, interesting, what is that about?
Speaker 4: What's at the root of that, because I think they're right,
Speaker 4: you know what I mean, Like, if a guy's not
Speaker 4: into me, I'm like, you are correct.
Speaker 3: Oh, so they don't keep trying to like like So
Speaker 3: it's not something of like I'm gonna conquer this, like
Speaker 3: meaning like I'm gonna get you to like me. It's
Speaker 3: not that in any way because you don't normally go
Speaker 3: for a woman like me. You go for this ex
Speaker 3: type of woman.
Speaker 4: I will try, Yeah, I try my damnedest, Like what, so,
Speaker 4: what's what is Jordan trying?
Speaker 3: Yeah? What if?
Speaker 2: What does that look like?
Speaker 4: Good question?
Speaker 2: It's not wearing lipstick, we know what dresses.
Speaker 3: Maybe it's just Jordan having a conversation in her own
Speaker 3: head and I'm not telling the guy about it and
Speaker 3: then just walking by it's happens.
Speaker 4: He's just trying. It's it's a it's a like it's
Speaker 4: like a over divulgence. I'll overly you know, I'll do that, okay,
Speaker 4: or I'll be also like probably if you were two
Speaker 4: men in here, not women, probably my demeanor would be
Speaker 4: a little different. I would probably be a you'd probably
Speaker 4: be able to walk in and be like, oh, she's
Speaker 4: like a little flirtatious, you know what I mean, interesting,
Speaker 4: you know, but like it's hard for me to do
Speaker 4: it with women because I'm so allergic to the idea
Speaker 4: of being gay, because everybody thinks I'm gay that I'm like,
Speaker 4: I'm not gay. I'm the man in the.
Speaker 3: Room, right, So you're Likenny, I never thought you were
Speaker 3: acting okay. I never thought I never looked like thought
Speaker 3: of you as gay in any way. But androgens is
Speaker 3: the word. I'm like, you just have been androgyny about you.
Speaker 3: That's like, and androgeny is so appealing. It's a really
Speaker 3: appealing to you because it's it's very rare. It's like
Speaker 3: a redhead, very rare.
Speaker 4: I'm very sick of people thinking I'm gay. It really
Speaker 4: drives me crazy because.
Speaker 3: If they just listen to you, it's very clear from
Speaker 3: your stand up that you're not gay. Like people don't
Speaker 3: listen to people.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they don't listen to people.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I love the I love when people are like, no,
Speaker 3: but you're gay, Yeah I know if I was actually yeah,
Speaker 3: thank you.
Speaker 4: I have a joke where I say lesbians on the
Speaker 4: internet are always like, it's not a choice, We're born
Speaker 4: this way, and then they meet me and they're like
Speaker 4: make the choice, you know, Like I'm like, dude, yeah,
Speaker 4: this wasn't up to me. It's also I have a
Speaker 4: mom who's ten times I mean we are gay in
Speaker 4: the androgeny. Yeah, but she's like, I mean, right now,
Speaker 4: if we had like a mirror to her, she would
Speaker 4: be wearing a full nail bag, she'd have a bandana
Speaker 4: going around her head like she is like a So
Speaker 4: I'm very feminine compared to my mom. Sure, but she
Speaker 4: uh yeah she I think she would have been non
Speaker 4: binary if she was in our generation for sure.
Speaker 2: Nice.
Speaker 4: Like recently she was like, you just want my name
Speaker 4: to be Dylan, and I was like, okay, I can
Speaker 4: call you Dylan stupid.
Speaker 2: She was just testing out the idea.
Speaker 4: She liked it.
Speaker 2: Her name is Cause, which is like, yeah, it feels
Speaker 2: like it could be either.
Speaker 4: Yeah. And she has she has a quality that isn't
Speaker 4: She's not like a short haired bowl dyke or anything.
Speaker 4: She has like long silver reave hair. She's very she
Speaker 4: just is. She is also androgynous. So I really just
Speaker 4: don't I never really knew the difference.
Speaker 1: Right, and well, I love an androgens man. I mean,
Speaker 1: to me, Matt Rife is very androgynous and that's like
Speaker 1: one of my mom's And he looks like just like Donna, and.
Speaker 2: That's what I find appealing.
Speaker 1: Like, I guess he's like traditionally good looking, but I'm
Speaker 1: like there's an androgyny there, and that's I think women
Speaker 1: all almost aren't like recognizing or coming to terms like that.
Speaker 2: I'm like, no, he looks a little bit like a chick. Everyone.
Speaker 3: Yeah, everyone went to high school with the person that
Speaker 3: was like I don't know if you're a dude or
Speaker 3: a woman, but you're hot and I like it, and
Speaker 3: that's what it is.
Speaker 2: It's to everyone.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know. I always say that my type is
Speaker 4: David Bowie in The Labyrinth. Ooh, he's so masculine, he's
Speaker 4: so daddy in it, but he's wearing a skin tights
Speaker 4: Like yeah, right.
Speaker 2: That's Bowie's brand of sexuality is beautiful.
Speaker 4: Yeah, big fan. But I'm realizing I am just a personality.
Speaker 4: It just it has to be somebody who is it's
Speaker 4: a level of like hyper uh I don't know. I
Speaker 4: mean it's like the they have to be they have
Speaker 4: to like be on board with like a super amount
Speaker 4: of like analysis of every single moment that's pretty much
Speaker 4: what I need. A passive somebody who's passively existing. I'm like,
Speaker 4: I can't talk to you somebody who walks into a
Speaker 4: room and like immediately deconstructs the things going on.
Speaker 2: At Dawson from Dawson's Creek.
Speaker 4: I don't want to watch it.
Speaker 2: I mean, he loves.
Speaker 1: If you're talking about someone who's gonna overanalyze a moment,
Speaker 1: you probably wouldn't like him on the show. But James
Speaker 1: Van der Beek now is like great on his great
Speaker 1: follow on Instagram.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, and his mom died and he talks about
Speaker 2: it a lot. I like that.
Speaker 1: He's a really good grief counselor really it's really good
Speaker 1: at it. Yeah, but he's like building like thing. He
Speaker 1: like moved out to like rural Texas, and he has
Speaker 1: a really big family, like they can't stop having kids,
Speaker 1: and he like will build stuff. I like people who
Speaker 1: build stuff, though I need I need someone to bring
Speaker 1: something to the table that I can't do. I can
Speaker 1: do almost everything, but I can't build stuff.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I know, a really funny thing happened the other day.
Speaker 4: I was like, the person that I'm seeing is also
Speaker 4: a carpenter, Like me cool.
Speaker 2: And he was as a carpenter.
Speaker 5: I was.
Speaker 4: I was a contractor.
Speaker 2: Oh you actually were, Okay, I saw and knit. It's
Speaker 2: so fun. It's so fucking fun to build something.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that was my job through comedy. Oh okay, I
Speaker 4: only stopped pandemic.
Speaker 2: Oh this is fantastic.
Speaker 3: Okay, that's a very hot and high demand job. Oh
Speaker 3: my god, you're so useful. Yeah, but she needs a deck?
Speaker 3: Can you build one?
Speaker 4: Decks are my favorite thing to build.
Speaker 1: I wish I had known this when the wood rot
Speaker 1: was small, because I was really, I really was trying
Speaker 1: to fix it myself.
Speaker 3: I was watching YouTube videos. And now the wood rot
Speaker 3: has gotten big, and I get it. Just replaced the
Speaker 3: whole thing?
Speaker 4: Is it a part?
Speaker 1: It's like so it's like yeah, it's like they're a
Speaker 1: whole created in one of the planks. And I was like,
Speaker 1: I could just replace the plank. But then I was
Speaker 1: like I wanted to use that I forgot what it's called.
Speaker 1: But like instead of having a wood deck that you
Speaker 1: have to redo every year or so, there was that
Speaker 1: material that is ever lasting now and I just want.
Speaker 2: To tech yes, the tech thing?
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I mean you don't you should replace that
Speaker 4: have you built a deck, built a million houses, houses, decks, houses.
Speaker 3: I'm obsessed with figuring out how to build a house,
Speaker 3: tiny little house in the wood because the framing and
Speaker 3: the plumbing and the electricity, they're all little systems that
Speaker 3: are so intricate and very I don't know, it's just
Speaker 3: fucking nerdy and fun.
Speaker 4: You just build the house and then you do the
Speaker 4: other stuff. Yeah, you know, you frame it out, yeah,
Speaker 4: and then you foundation yeah, yeah, you frame it out,
Speaker 4: you do the foundation shit. Yeah, and then you get
Speaker 4: and then you figure out where you want the outlets,
Speaker 4: and then you have an electrician come in and put
Speaker 4: everything in. You can do it yourself at a tiny house.
Speaker 4: So easy, condo it it's really easy.
Speaker 3: That'd be so rewarding to live in a house that
Speaker 3: you built, right, So fun, really cool.
Speaker 4: It's the best. In New York, I was remodeling like
Speaker 4: storefronts and stuff like that and stuff in people's houses.
Speaker 4: And it was so tricky in New York because you'd
Speaker 4: open up a wall and there would just be like
Speaker 4: a matrix nest of cables that somebody had buried in
Speaker 4: there that you're like, oh, man, now I know that
Speaker 4: if I this is like a fire hazards and I
Speaker 4: have to fix this other one hundred year old contractor's work,
Speaker 4: you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: Yeah, were there a lot of rats and cockroaches in
Speaker 2: the walls? No?
Speaker 4: No, no, really, no good. They run when you hit
Speaker 4: the wall.
Speaker 2: Oh so they were there, but they left. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: definitely get out of my fucking way.
Speaker 4: Okay, the demo is loud enough that they all leave.
Speaker 4: I was always wondered that. I always was like I
Speaker 4: did a crepe store that I turned into a barber shop, okay,
Speaker 4: And I was always worried. I was like, I'm going
Speaker 4: to hit one of these walls and it's going to
Speaker 4: be cockroach city, right, But it was. They're really good
Speaker 4: at fleeing. Fleeing that's good, and I don't they also
Speaker 4: in the middle of the night, that's when they don't flee.
Speaker 2: So right, okay, sorry, we got on.
Speaker 3: We were talking about you're the guy that you're dating
Speaker 3: who is also carpentry.
Speaker 4: He was fixing my sink, right because the plumber too. Yeah,
Speaker 4: he's that's yeah. It's like he was doing the sink
Speaker 4: and then he came into the other room and I
Speaker 4: had all of his tools and like was putting up
Speaker 4: this like whole thing on my window, and it was
Speaker 4: it was nice to It was just it was just
Speaker 4: funny because I was almost trying to not be too
Speaker 4: like you build, bro. I was trying to not be
Speaker 4: too like I wanted it. I didn't want to be
Speaker 4: overly like masculine. I didn't want you know, don't And
Speaker 4: I could feel that happening, and it was just funny
Speaker 4: that he came into the other I basically have like
Speaker 4: safety guy.
Speaker 2: I'm like, that's cool.
Speaker 3: Though, and it's unique. Yeah, I don't know if I've
Speaker 3: ever met a woman who could build a deck.
Speaker 2: I mean, I like.
Speaker 3: Habits that are like very stereotypically masculine. Like I could
Speaker 3: change the brakes on a car. I grew up working
Speaker 3: on cars. I fucking love it.
Speaker 4: It's a really good skill. I can't do that, and
Speaker 4: I wish I could do that so much.
Speaker 2: It's really fun.
Speaker 4: I love.
Speaker 1: Every field I've ever worked in is male dominated. I
Speaker 1: went to school to be a director, I'm a stand
Speaker 1: up comedian, and I own a baseball card store.
Speaker 2: These are all men who own a baseball my family business.
Speaker 3: Wow yeah yeah, your family owns it, and well, yeah,
Speaker 3: so it was like my dad opened it and then
Speaker 3: like my mom was like helping him in nineteen eighty nine,
Speaker 3: and then my dad passed away, and I just decided I'm.
Speaker 2: Going to take this over.
Speaker 3: I love.
Speaker 2: I just love.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 1: There's something like very fun and challenging to me about
Speaker 1: like put inserting myself in a male dominated world. And
Speaker 1: it's funny because I mean everyone talks to me like
Speaker 1: I'm a fucking idiot. But then also men come into
Speaker 1: my shop to get free therapy and they think they're
Speaker 1: tricking me.
Speaker 4: How you work in there?
Speaker 3: Yes, I go, like once a week, we're actually closing it,
Speaker 3: the brick and mortar down because it's been for three years.
Speaker 3: It was always like a temporary thing, but I mean
Speaker 3: it has been such an interesting experience. And yeah, everyone
Speaker 3: was like you worked there. I'm like, well, that's the
Speaker 3: fun of it. Like I wanted to own the store,
Speaker 3: to be in the store. It wasn't like something like
Speaker 3: money grab.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's easier ways to make money than a baseball
Speaker 1: card store, but yeah, no, I wanted.
Speaker 2: I love being in the space with the stuff.
Speaker 1: And I mean that could also be OCD two because
Speaker 1: it was like, you know, extending my dad's life, like
Speaker 1: being around his possessions. So I mean, maybe that's OCD,
Speaker 1: but we're not even going to it. It was extremely helpful.
Speaker 4: And that's all I get to know with OCD. I
Speaker 4: have that too, where you're just so like precious about everything.
Speaker 2: He's your dad dead. Yeah yeah, oh okay, well he died.
Speaker 2: Let's talk about this.
Speaker 4: He died. Uh. I was twenty three.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh you were young.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, it's young. He died of a heart attack.
Speaker 4: He was also a contractor, so he laid a foundation,
Speaker 4: laid down. He was a heavy smoker.
Speaker 2: Yeah, my dad too.
Speaker 4: Really yeah, heart attack, cardiac arrest. Yeah yeah, so yeah,
Speaker 4: he just went to sleep, didn't wake up.
Speaker 2: He died in his sleep. Yeah, that's the dream.
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 5: I know.
Speaker 4: I was very jealous. I was like, you, bitch, Cozy's crazy.
Speaker 4: It was crazy. So yeah, when he died. Yeah that
Speaker 4: also that does trigger the OCD where you're like always
Speaker 4: worried about that. You know, you're like attached in a
Speaker 4: way and there's items you don't want to get rid
Speaker 4: of because of OCD.
Speaker 1: But I was also trying to keep the smell on
Speaker 1: his shirts, and I was like but then you can't,
Speaker 1: what do you do? Like, I'm like, I guess I
Speaker 1: could have zipped, but I wanted to wear them, you know,
Speaker 1: like I mean, I'm crazy, I fucking like, like this
Speaker 1: is crazy. I like he got cremated, but I asked
Speaker 1: for a viewing because I thought that that would give
Speaker 1: good closure, like where Jews don't usually do, like yeah,
Speaker 1: kind of sometimes they don't usually do viewings though open
Speaker 1: casket certainly not. But I requested it and I'll kind
Speaker 1: of do whatever you want. And I like literally leaned
Speaker 1: in like the coffin. I'm like, like I smelled so
Speaker 1: I could like like I can remember his smell. And
Speaker 1: I think I did actually create like a memory that
Speaker 1: I can access.
Speaker 2: Can you access smell memories?
Speaker 4: I can't. I can do that with my dad's stuff
Speaker 4: because I did the same thing.
Speaker 3: I was.
Speaker 4: I was sniffing his everything he had, yeh, and I was,
Speaker 4: and when it was starting to fade, that was when
Speaker 4: I was started freaking out and I was like, dude,
Speaker 4: this sucks. But luckily the thing about the nice thing
Speaker 4: is my dad smells like gasoline cigarettes.
Speaker 2: Oh so you can get them smell dust.
Speaker 4: Yeah, So like one of my closest friends Megan, she
Speaker 4: reeks of my father, so I will just hug her
Speaker 4: and be like right there, so yeah, I can access
Speaker 4: that again. And uh yeah, it wasn't like a particularly
Speaker 4: he just was a dirty dude with who smokes cigarettes?
Speaker 3: I love. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Even even when my dad was alive, I hate smoking myself,
Speaker 1: like doing the action myself.
Speaker 2: It hurts my throat a lot.
Speaker 1: But even like in the winter, I'll follow people extra
Speaker 1: blocks who are smoking because even when he was alive,
Speaker 1: the cigarette smoke, I found it to be very comforting.
Speaker 2: There's something super comforting about it.
Speaker 4: Totally.
Speaker 1: I love it, like the way a guy will follow
Speaker 1: like a hot chick because she has like a nice ass,
Speaker 1: Like that's me and cigarettes.
Speaker 2: I just I love it.
Speaker 4: It's so nice. I totally agree. Yeah, cigarette smoke with
Speaker 4: a little gasoline, Oh my god, I love the smell.
Speaker 4: It's so good. What is it about?
Speaker 3: Idea fucking love that smell.
Speaker 4: I would like to figure out why that is so good?
Speaker 2: Can you, Eric?
Speaker 1: Can you research if there's a reason why people are
Speaker 1: attracted to the scent of gasoline?
Speaker 3: Please?
Speaker 4: It's the best. Maybe it just gets you a little
Speaker 4: fucked up.
Speaker 2: Oh that's true. I don't feel woozy. But I love
Speaker 2: when I'm pumping my car with gas and it leaks
Speaker 2: and I'm like, that's good.
Speaker 4: It's the best.
Speaker 2: How is grieving your dad lost?
Speaker 4: I did not grieve, So I threw myself right into comedy.
Speaker 4: He was we were super close. So I went right
Speaker 4: into comedy. And I was kind of in denial for
Speaker 4: a while, Like I was like, y'all think he's dead.
Speaker 4: I mean in my like subconsciously sure. I was like,
Speaker 4: he's we know what's up? Like you guys didn't know him,
Speaker 4: like I know him, Like he's fine.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: And then it would it was I was like, I'm
Speaker 4: gonna move to New York, and my friends in Nashville
Speaker 4: were like, let's slow down, you like, because a lot
Speaker 4: of things were happening. My best friend got paralyzed, oh yeah,
Speaker 4: yeah from college and then shit, and I was like
Speaker 4: taking care of her. And then my dad died and
Speaker 4: my friends were like, just come to Nashville, relax. And
Speaker 4: then in Nashville, I started to start to grieve a
Speaker 4: little bit. But then it was it was only like
Speaker 4: a couple years later that I was like, like just
Speaker 4: all of a sudden realized that I wasn't going to
Speaker 4: talk to him again, and that's when it really hits you.
Speaker 4: And that's when I was like, oh, this is crazy. Yeah,
Speaker 4: and yeah you never I mean, I don't think it's
Speaker 4: like I think the grieving like continued. Like the other day,
Speaker 4: my sister was describing when she found him, and she
Speaker 4: was just describing that he was the way he was
Speaker 4: laying and she did like an impression and I was like,
Speaker 4: and I started crying just because I was like, oh
Speaker 4: my god, I miss I miss seeing him sleep like that,
Speaker 4: like I know the way you're talking about. Sure, So
Speaker 4: it'll come in these overwhelming waves where you're like, dude,
Speaker 4: come on, like this is crazy, it's been enough. Time's
Speaker 4: your dad?
Speaker 2: Yeah, total, just hang out, you know, I can't imagine.
Speaker 4: Yeah, or like sometimes yeah, like he was the dog person,
Speaker 4: So with my dog, I'll be like and sometimes I
Speaker 4: just do a thing where I'm just like walking around
Speaker 4: and then I'll feel a certain way and I'll be
Speaker 4: like kind of fill him in, like do you know
Speaker 4: what I mean?
Speaker 2: I fully like just have conversations with a photo.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, why not. I definitely have conversations. Every time
Speaker 4: I'm in the ocean. There's a conversation because before he died,
Speaker 4: he was like, if you're in the ocean and I'm
Speaker 4: not around, I'm with you every time you're in the ocean.
Speaker 4: So now when I'm in the ocean, I'm like, what's up, dude,
Speaker 4: I'm always crying in the ocean, which is great because
Speaker 4: it's already wet, so nobody knows. It's really nice.
Speaker 2: Do you not like people like letting people see you cry?
Speaker 2: Is that like a hard for you some.
Speaker 4: Yes, it's very hard. I mean my therapist has seeing
Speaker 4: me cry so much. But yeah it's friends never really
Speaker 4: never friends.
Speaker 2: Have you had to hold it in with friends when
Speaker 2: you feel crying coming on?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Oh god.
Speaker 4: I mean I'm just like it's you know, I'm like,
Speaker 4: I got it.
Speaker 2: I got it.
Speaker 4: But I recently because my therapist was like, hey, I
Speaker 4: don't know, like a lot of times, how you feel.
Speaker 4: Like I know you're thinking, and I know that you're
Speaker 4: thinking a million things, but like, how are you feeling?
Speaker 4: And so I was with one of my friends recently
Speaker 4: and he was I was so overwhelmed by everything, and
Speaker 4: I thought of that and I was like, I'm just
Speaker 4: gonna like say how I feel. And I just started
Speaker 4: like sobbing and I was like, I just am too
Speaker 4: in over my head and it was it was nice,
Speaker 4: but I did It did make me realize that I'm
Speaker 4: very like reserve yeah with my actual friends in a partnership.
Speaker 4: When I'm dating somebody, I'm like, I cry too much?
Speaker 3: Really, what makes me feel Yeah, that's confusing to I
Speaker 3: mean to me, at ships are safer than a relationship, right,
Speaker 3: That's what I That's what I was thinking too.
Speaker 2: So what makes you feel safer in a relationship than
Speaker 2: in a friendship?
Speaker 4: Friendship? I'm like, I'm worried that I I have to
Speaker 4: be the one that is I just I guess I
Speaker 4: get worried that they are going to There's something. It's
Speaker 4: like a fear that they will become more attached or
Speaker 4: something like if I cry in front of them.
Speaker 2: So do you like to keep your friends out a
Speaker 2: little bit of a distance?
Speaker 5: I you know what it is?
Speaker 4: That the affection that comes with crying in front of friends.
Speaker 3: I hate.
Speaker 4: Like with Brianna, we both know that neither of us
Speaker 4: want to be physically consoled, so we.
Speaker 2: Can just shit, sorry I hugged you when you walked down.
Speaker 4: No, No, hugging's great. Okay, hugging is great. It's just
Speaker 4: when I'm crying, I don't want Yeah, just.
Speaker 2: Get the fuck away from me.
Speaker 4: I agree with you.
Speaker 3: And and the problem with like being even being sad
Speaker 3: in general is everyone reacts to a sad person the
Speaker 3: way they would want to be reacted to when they're sad,
Speaker 3: even if you clearly tell them this is the way
Speaker 3: that I would like to be treated. When I'm like
Speaker 3: one of my dad died, I was like, I just
Speaker 3: need to be left alone. And then I was dating
Speaker 3: a guy at the time and he really wanted to
Speaker 3: be there for me, and I go, but that's not
Speaker 3: what I need.
Speaker 2: You're not craving right now, I am. So we need
Speaker 2: to react to me the way that I want to be.
Speaker 4: You know, are you like a bit of an avoidant
Speaker 4: in relationships?
Speaker 5: Yes?
Speaker 4: Oh really yes, yes, yes, so you're like you gross,
Speaker 4: get away from your holding me back?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, like I me, I was just like
Speaker 1: taking on a lot of boyfriends. And even that language,
Speaker 1: I think tells a lot about how I feel about it.
Speaker 2: And I and then and I.
Speaker 3: Would just like to have a boyfriend, to have one
Speaker 3: because it felt like, you know, I'm like obsessed with perfection,
Speaker 3: and it felt like, oh, someone who has their should
Speaker 3: who someone who has everything also has a boyfriend.
Speaker 2: But I'm like, I hate having a boyfriend.
Speaker 1: This is purely for like this is purely like almost
Speaker 1: like a publicity move at a certain point, like I
Speaker 1: hate this.
Speaker 2: This sucks.
Speaker 1: It was like it was to stop people from asking
Speaker 1: me because everyone's so fucking concerned when I'm single and
Speaker 1: I go, I never been happier, smile and ear to
Speaker 1: ear so happy.
Speaker 2: I love I love me Wow, so.
Speaker 4: So so what about like all the intimate stuff, snuggling
Speaker 4: and stuff.
Speaker 2: No I miss I don't miss snuggling. I miss fucking bad.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 4: We are opposite people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I am like, you're a snuggler, not a fucker.
Speaker 4: Sex is fine, it's just fuine Yeah, it's stressful as
Speaker 4: fuck for me.
Speaker 2: Why sex is stressful?
Speaker 4: Yeah, Oh because I'm so incredibly physically insecure because of
Speaker 4: the being so per fat.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I'm like, if I take my shirt off, all of
Speaker 4: a sudden, there's like a plant in front of me,
Speaker 4: or I'm holding a cat, I'm like, hilarious about this cat.
Speaker 4: I don't see this. Yeah, I'm super insecure. So whenever
Speaker 4: I have sex, it's like, how how do I figure
Speaker 4: out how to like hide myself? And also you know, yeah,
Speaker 4: oh gosh, that makes sex very stressful. It's so stressful.
Speaker 2: Well, if you do it with the lights fully out,
Speaker 2: then you're not stressed. You can actually but.
Speaker 4: Then I associate because I can't see it what's going on? Okay,
Speaker 4: because I also like seeing the sex happen, you know
Speaker 4: what I mean, whole light Yeah, yeah, so but yeah,
Speaker 4: I'm definitely addicted to like the cuddling and the and
Speaker 4: the nice stuff which I don't get, which I don't
Speaker 4: do with friends.
Speaker 2: But the dog is nice dog a dog truly in
Speaker 2: the world, we all have dogs.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then your dog's like a little like heated blanket,
Speaker 3: Like it becomes like a little heated water bottle, and
Speaker 3: you're like, this is great.
Speaker 4: And they're so cute when they talking about dah oh
Speaker 4: my god. But yeah, it is uh yeah, I think
Speaker 4: I I'm not an avoidant. I'm super anxiously. I mean,
Speaker 4: I will stay in a relationship that I hate.
Speaker 2: Well, you, I'm an anxious attachment.
Speaker 3: But I'll do this thing where if I feel like
Speaker 3: there's an area of the relationship that's off, I'm like, well,
Speaker 3: we'll just break up because it's not gonna work, right, Like, well,
Speaker 3: I'm just gonna go And they're like.
Speaker 4: What the fuck? I do that every day, that's all
Speaker 4: I do. It's like, okay, well it's over then okay, yeah,
Speaker 4: I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. And then if they're
Speaker 4: like yeah it is, I'm like what, yes, what did
Speaker 4: you say?
Speaker 2: How fucking dare you know this?
Speaker 3: But you guys are doing that because so that you
Speaker 3: can break up with the person before they break up
Speaker 3: with you.
Speaker 2: Is that why?
Speaker 4: Because testing?
Speaker 2: That's it?
Speaker 1: Because like for me, like testing, I also don't give
Speaker 1: things a long time to work out. But it's because
Speaker 1: I anytime my life is less better than it would
Speaker 1: be alone, or I'm inconvenienced in the slightest to me,
Speaker 1: the price of admission stops being worse.
Speaker 4: So you're who I date. That's exactly what I date.
Speaker 4: I date dudes who are like you're in my way,
Speaker 4: get away from me, and I'm like yes, dad, I
Speaker 4: mean oh shit.
Speaker 2: Right, Like every I just feel like it's it is.
Speaker 1: It's extremely hard, and I think this gets harder as
Speaker 1: you get older and more successful. But like to find
Speaker 1: someone who's making my life better. It's very hard, that's
Speaker 1: very hard.
Speaker 4: I think that anybody spend I think that anybody who
Speaker 4: is like you. Yeah, like anybody who thinks I'm in
Speaker 4: the way, if I'm with them, they will make my
Speaker 4: life better.
Speaker 2: Like that's this type. How will this type of person
Speaker 2: make your life better?
Speaker 4: I mean because they obviously I might do when you.
Speaker 1: Get out of the way, I do make my boyfriend's
Speaker 1: lives better. Like I think even though a lot of
Speaker 1: them are mad at me now, I think they across
Speaker 1: the board, they would answer, she'd made my life better.
Speaker 4: Actually, yeah, that's cool. I mean, he I don't feel
Speaker 4: that way, but that's great.
Speaker 2: You don't feel that way about you and me?
Speaker 4: My way, I made my life the guys a living hell.
Speaker 1: No, I think ultimately some of them after I dragged
Speaker 1: their them through their dirt like yeah, I don't Yeah,
Speaker 1: that was a long time after though. But like if
Speaker 1: you ask them immediately after, did she make your life better?
Speaker 1: They would say yes.
Speaker 4: I think that. My whole mo O is like what
Speaker 4: do I do?
Speaker 3: What do I do?
Speaker 4: Am I bad?
Speaker 5: Am?
Speaker 4: I bad am? I bad? So if somebody's going I
Speaker 4: know what bad is, right, because I'm being dismissive of you.
Speaker 4: So if I say you're good, you're okay. But if
Speaker 4: somebody's like, I love you, and I'm like, that's because
Speaker 4: you love everything, and I can't even trust that, So
Speaker 4: you're not the person to follow. If somebody's like, yeah,
Speaker 4: I don't do this, but I'm doing it with you,
Speaker 4: I'm like, great, I.
Speaker 2: Can I can understand that.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I don't trust anyone in any walk of life who
Speaker 2: loves everything, right, Yeah, because then you're just not yourself.
Speaker 2: There's no way you could be yourself because no one
Speaker 2: loves everything.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like even comedically, like an audience that's laughing at everyone,
Speaker 1: like you know, you know that feeling when you're watching
Speaker 1: a comic who everyone knows fucking is a suck ass hack.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yucking it up. I go on stage immediate.
Speaker 1: I already don't have respect for the audience, so I tried,
Speaker 1: so I actually am trying to make them not laugh
Speaker 1: so that I don't lose respect for my own act.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I go, I go, I know that you
Speaker 2: guys don't have taste, so we're not I don't even
Speaker 2: want to play this game with you.
Speaker 4: Anymore, totally. Yeah, I try and make them feel really weird. Yeah,
Speaker 4: oh you guys want to laugh. Well, now let's talk
Speaker 4: about death.
Speaker 2: Right, let's have a bad time.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we're gonna have a bad time because I'm gonna
Speaker 4: teach you a lesson for thinking that person is funny. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I do the same thing totally. I love that.
Speaker 3: Well.
Speaker 1: I find it a little challenging to be a comic
Speaker 1: sometimes because I care so little what people think of me,
Speaker 1: And sometimes you need to when you're a professional performer.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it would help me. It would make my life
Speaker 1: a touch easier if I care.
Speaker 4: Yeah, So what do you date people that are avoidant?
Speaker 4: What if you tried that? Mm, not that you need to.
Speaker 1: I have my my boyfriend who I felt probably like
Speaker 1: was most likely. I dated a guy who was like,
Speaker 1: basically the male version of me, but a bad person.
Speaker 1: And I don't find myself to be a bad person.
Speaker 4: He that was great. I love it.
Speaker 1: I love I loved dating someone who was like me.
Speaker 1: It was really good. We really understood each other. But
Speaker 1: he was a bad person, it turned out, ultimately. I
Speaker 1: didn't know that in the beginning. But yeah, so it's like, if.
Speaker 4: You date an avoidant, the problem is they are avoidant
Speaker 4: and they do things like cheat or or.
Speaker 2: They just don't want to hang out. I don't want
Speaker 2: to hang out either, But like, is that debt?
Speaker 4: Like why don't avoidance just it? Why do avoidance always
Speaker 4: get caught up with people like me?
Speaker 3: You know what I mean?
Speaker 4: Why is there that avoidant anxious you both?
Speaker 2: I feel like then you both feel the need to
Speaker 2: fulfill a role.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 3: That's just that that's an agreement in your head that
Speaker 3: you made a while ago that you're still attached to.
Speaker 2: If you were with an anxious attachment person, that might
Speaker 2: be good. That would that be good?
Speaker 4: Or no, I'm not good, I mean that would be
Speaker 4: I mean.
Speaker 3: You're like, you don't have to worry about your anxiety
Speaker 3: fucking up the relationship because they have it too and
Speaker 3: you get it, so you're probably not pissed off.
Speaker 4: But then I'm very mean then and then you so
Speaker 4: you're the ying and yang so being like I need you,
Speaker 4: I'm like, yeah, you get the fun.
Speaker 2: Ye see that triys me.
Speaker 1: Even if I've had like you know, like girl crushed friends,
Speaker 1: Like I've had friends become like female friends become really
Speaker 1: obsessed with me, and like I've probably never been meaner
Speaker 1: to a person and like it's it's it's not, and
Speaker 1: it's not because it's not. It's not like this thing
Speaker 1: of like, oh I think you have bad taste, Like
Speaker 1: I think you have good taste if you like me.
Speaker 1: But I there's also just like I lose respect for
Speaker 1: people who are like please like me, Like yeah, but
Speaker 1: I am sure. You know, it's so interesting you don't
Speaker 1: give off that, Yeah, you don't.
Speaker 4: Come out you're hiding in a relationship.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it's bad. Do you give guys a spiel
Speaker 2: before you start dating them.
Speaker 4: They're press meeting, they usually I mean before I usually
Speaker 4: there's like an intensimeshment in like a conversation that goes
Speaker 4: down a wild rabbit hole.
Speaker 2: And then they're kind of what you're talking about already.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean. It's also like there are a couple
Speaker 4: avoidant people that I've been with who I just stayed
Speaker 4: super attached to, and then the people in the interim
Speaker 4: are like, you know, people that I was like, yes,
Speaker 4: I'm going to do my best to love you. But
Speaker 4: I fundamentally if that avoidant walked in and was like
Speaker 4: let's go, I'd be like, all right, let's do it. Right, Well,
Speaker 4: I think the ideal scenario is to get an avoidant
Speaker 4: or to an avoidant basically is somebody who is self possessed.
Speaker 4: I mean, that's the problem with this whole thing. An
Speaker 4: anxiously attached person is somebody who is insecure and needs
Speaker 4: it feels that they need another person to complete them,
Speaker 4: and an avoidant feels like they are complete. Yeah, and
Speaker 4: that the problem with avoidant is they feel that other
Speaker 4: people will make them incomplete.
Speaker 2: Right mm hm, so I think fuck with my wholeness.
Speaker 4: Yeah, So I think the goal is say you meet,
Speaker 4: say you meet somebody who feel self possessed, and they
Speaker 4: push you away for them to then be like, actually
Speaker 4: you do make my life better. Let's figure out how
Speaker 4: to make this. Let me figure out how to not
Speaker 4: do this push away thing. I think that's ideal or
Speaker 4: an anxious person to be like, actually I do like myself,
Speaker 4: but you add to it and not a way that
Speaker 4: makes me feel like I'm incomplete. I think that's like
Speaker 4: the goal, of course, but the thing is the triggers
Speaker 4: or the problem, like if I'm like if an anxious
Speaker 4: person puts if I put too much pressure on avoid
Speaker 4: and they bail, and that triggers the shit out of
Speaker 4: my abandonment. So then I'm freaking out and being like,
Speaker 4: but you need space, Okay, I'll give you space. That
Speaker 4: was enough space. We're done, okay, I mean your backpack,
Speaker 4: I'm behind you, you know, and they're like, for the
Speaker 4: love of God. So I think it's just a matter
Speaker 4: of it's just all of the it's just basically being
Speaker 4: resistant to vulnerability or being resistant to your knee jerk
Speaker 4: reaction to respond to something that isn't actually there to be.
Speaker 4: So when somebody's like I need space to be like,
Speaker 4: that means they.
Speaker 5: Don't like me.
Speaker 2: No, I'm like.
Speaker 3: The key to bagging and avoidant is actually pretty easy.
Speaker 2: It's like.
Speaker 1: When they push you away, stay away, and then they go,
Speaker 1: oh no, why are they away? And it gives us
Speaker 1: the false sense in our heads that we can then
Speaker 1: approach at our own pace and then we'll come back
Speaker 1: if we really like you, we'll come back, right.
Speaker 4: But there's the whole thing of within that space. What
Speaker 4: an anxious person doing is.
Speaker 3: For sure just bobstracting yourself, distract your avail. Like, yeah,
Speaker 3: because I'm as an anxious.
Speaker 2: Avoidant, it always helps me.
Speaker 3: I get I force another crush on I'm just going
Speaker 3: to develop a crush on whoever the fuck is.
Speaker 4: That where you're trying to date somebody who's an avoidance,
Speaker 4: So you just spin all these plates with a million
Speaker 4: other dud.
Speaker 2: So that you're not too much for any of them.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then by the time one of them is like, hey,
Speaker 3: let's do this, then you can show them that you're
Speaker 3: too much later.
Speaker 4: Yes, I'm trying to or really what the spinning plates
Speaker 4: are there is to be like, look other people like me,
Speaker 4: which is like sure, So I'm trying to not closed,
Speaker 4: to be like just to be like, yeah, I am a,
Speaker 4: I am a. And also I'm also trying to just
Speaker 4: say the thing that's going on, so instead of being like,
Speaker 4: you know what, I'm leaving to just be like, I
Speaker 4: feel insecure that you don't want to be with me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, which is freeing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, which is super freeing. And it's hard for avoidance
Speaker 4: to not be like that's gross.
Speaker 2: In my head, I was literally thinking I'd lose respect.
Speaker 1: Yeah the person they said that to me, even though
Speaker 1: I respect the honesty, but the fact that another person
Speaker 1: can make you feel that insecure drives me personally.
Speaker 2: Fucking insane.
Speaker 4: I logically, I think that that is correct. I don't
Speaker 4: think another person should be able to make you feel
Speaker 4: the only reason why somebody makes.
Speaker 2: You feel to give your power away, right.
Speaker 4: But it's like if I'm if what you do impacts me,
Speaker 4: it's because I've ascribed to you a disproportionate amount of power,
Speaker 4: which just means that I'm trying to feel some childhood thing,
Speaker 4: like I've decided that because you're ignoring me, you're the
Speaker 4: equivalent of my parents.
Speaker 3: And the desire for an adult child to make up
Speaker 3: for what happened is it's like a drug addict trying
Speaker 3: to score a hint.
Speaker 2: It will happen.
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 4: I told my I'm not going to tell you my therapist.
Speaker 4: I was like, what about the what about the fact
Speaker 4: that I want that? Like I want the feeling of
Speaker 4: that more than.
Speaker 2: Any pair world?
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, And and and the nature the Jesus Christ,
Speaker 3: the energy of that is crazy, Like it will drag
Speaker 3: me out of in the middle of a of a
Speaker 3: of a of a thing I agree to totally.
Speaker 2: Years ago, and I'm like I gotta go by I'm like, what.
Speaker 4: The totally yeh. But it is like I was like,
Speaker 4: I want the feeling of dad protector. To my therapist,
Speaker 4: I was like, I don't want that to be off
Speaker 4: the table, like, because that's what you read in like
Speaker 4: attachment books is they're basically like that's that's that's the
Speaker 4: addiction is to have that feeling of like this person
Speaker 4: is protecting me. And my therapists like, no, no, no,
Speaker 4: you pick a person who's ignoring you and go daddy.
Speaker 4: He's like, you actually could meet somebody, fall in love
Speaker 4: with them, get to a place of safety, and then
Speaker 4: be like they're protecting me. And I was like, so
Speaker 4: I can steal daddy, and he's like.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, take a different yeah, yea yeah.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 1: Feeling protected as love even I like that, yeah, like
Speaker 1: even through friendship or you know, or a relationship, Like
Speaker 1: I like to feel like people have my fucking back.
Speaker 2: I'm very into loyalty. That's like the Jersey Italian and me.
Speaker 4: But yeah, so in a relationship if somebody so, you
Speaker 4: don't want a relationship to feel safe, you don't need that.
Speaker 4: You have it in friendships.
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't want it to feel unsafe, but
Speaker 3: it's not something I'm seeking. I don't feel safe in front.
Speaker 3: I feel safe in me. No one's safer than me.
Speaker 3: So like a storm hits and a tree branch goes
Speaker 3: through your window and you're really freaked out. You're like,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna I got this.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, I can't fix the hole in the
Speaker 1: window myself, but I'm not. Yeah, I'm not like someone
Speaker 1: holds me.
Speaker 4: Really, I'm immediately someone holds What is someone holding me?
Speaker 3: Gonna do? Everyone's everyone's in common, move away from the
Speaker 3: window and call somebody like you.
Speaker 2: Who could fix it.
Speaker 4: Don't you want okay, what if? What if?
Speaker 2: Very logical?
Speaker 4: What if you have what if you get mugged? Okay?
Speaker 2: I mean, don't you want to call a dude to
Speaker 2: be like I got mugged and they'll be like, oh,
Speaker 2: I want to kill that person myself with my bare hands.
Speaker 2: Now I would go. I would go to the police,
Speaker 2: file like you file the thing, and then move on.
Speaker 4: With my day. No, I want sympathy and love.
Speaker 2: I want because you're making up for not getting it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, totally. I want someone to be like it's okay, Yeah,
Speaker 4: you'll be okay, Pat, Pat, That's all I want. Yeah,
Speaker 4: that's why I give that to yourself. She sucks. She
Speaker 4: can't do it she can.
Speaker 2: She sucks with that editude. Okay.
Speaker 1: So okay, so how does this how is this working
Speaker 1: with like you becoming like uh more famous? Like, so,
Speaker 1: do you think that the people who are your fans
Speaker 1: suck because they like you.
Speaker 4: Es?
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, it's okay, you're gonna like you more, Jordan,
Speaker 2: They're gonna like that's gonna make them like you more.
Speaker 2: These cooks are gonna.
Speaker 4: They suck. I mean to be honest, Say a fan
Speaker 4: comes up and they go like this, They go, Hi,
Speaker 4: I'm a huge fan. I brought him. He had never
Speaker 4: heard of you. Yeah, my attention gravitates towards that person.
Speaker 1: That's normal, though, because it's too much energy, even if
Speaker 1: you don't think the person sucks, it's just too much
Speaker 1: like thirsty energy. And I think everyone everyone talks to
Speaker 1: the friend, the friend that's I think that's just.
Speaker 2: Yeah exactly.
Speaker 4: I don't think it's thirsty because they don't they don't know.
Speaker 4: I think I am I. I like my comedy, and
Speaker 4: I think that if somebody's like, she's funny, that's true. Okay,
Speaker 4: But if somebody, if somebody knows deeply who I am,
Speaker 4: that I am a little simp bitch that wants to
Speaker 4: be help and they like me, then I'm like, you're gross.
Speaker 4: But my fans don't see me be a little simp bitch.
Speaker 3: So you you like that they like the version of
Speaker 3: you that you've concocted for them to like. Well, I
Speaker 3: like her too, yeah, right, because it is that like
Speaker 3: who you aspire to be. No.
Speaker 4: I mean, I think I'm honest about being a simp
Speaker 4: bitch on stage, like I talk about that, but I
Speaker 4: also am like as a comedian, this person's great as
Speaker 4: a child who didn't get any attention and is trying
Speaker 4: to be in relationships with people that it's it's not
Speaker 4: it's not fun. Okay. So when a boyfriend is like
Speaker 4: I really love you, I'm like why. But if a
Speaker 4: fan is like I love you, I'm like, yeah, I've
Speaker 4: been working on that, thank you, right right right, right,
Speaker 4: right right right, okay, Okay, So if somebody's like, if
Speaker 4: say somebody is like, do you want to go on
Speaker 4: a date with me? I really like your comedy? Immediately No,
Speaker 4: immediately no, because I'm like, I'm not if somebody sees.
Speaker 2: Me trip and fall and is like, I'll never talk
Speaker 2: to you again.
Speaker 4: If somebody sees me trip and fall and I, you know,
Speaker 4: hurt myself and they're like, can I help you up?
Speaker 4: Do you want to get coffee? I'm like, great, you
Speaker 4: already know that I'm somebody who's just on the ground.
Speaker 4: But if somebody likes me because they see me up
Speaker 4: on stage, I'm like, that's not I'm on the I'm
Speaker 4: a ground person, right, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: A thing like you don't really know who I really am,
Speaker 2: and if you did, you'd run kind of thing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, totally.
Speaker 1: I also think it's like it's sane for the you
Speaker 1: don't want people to like the real you, not performance you.
Speaker 1: I also wouldn't like it if someone was like, I'm
Speaker 1: a big fan of your podcast too, you want to
Speaker 1: go on a date?
Speaker 2: That's fucking Yeah, that's weird.
Speaker 4: It's crazy. See why so many male comics because.
Speaker 2: Let them know, you're fucking These guys don't need to
Speaker 2: feel seen and heard. They just want to Yeah. It's
Speaker 2: I almost wish I didn't need that. Yeah, just getting dick.
Speaker 2: You're right, and that's the way to do.
Speaker 4: They're not like I'm attracted to this dress with them,
Speaker 4: I just want to come and see an ass.
Speaker 2: It really does feel like it's that simple.
Speaker 4: I know, I've jump. The older I get and the
Speaker 4: more I interrogate men, the more I realize.
Speaker 2: Damn, you guys really are just that simple.
Speaker 4: It's just like there. They always say the same thing.
Speaker 4: They always like, I'm human. I'm like, no, no, no,
Speaker 4: you're a man. That's not human, right, you know what
Speaker 4: I mean? Like I don't have that where I'm like,
Speaker 4: I have to come right now. I think you know
Speaker 4: that's never yeah a woman, Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 4: I mean, it might happen like after some build up
Speaker 4: and some contemplation and thinking about it, but it isn't
Speaker 4: like you know what tonight is, it's come night.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't get If I don't come right now,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be cranky.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's an excuse to come. There's like that thing
Speaker 4: that I find with men where they're like this is
Speaker 4: a good like like I have to there's a scarcity
Speaker 4: men around coming, you know what I mean for them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's like my last come.
Speaker 4: If somebody offers me a brownie and I'm not hungry,
Speaker 4: I will take it because I have a scarcity mentality. Infood.
Speaker 4: If somebody offers posty to a man sure to take it, Yeah,
Speaker 4: because it might not be there again, which might be biological.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and he might be right.
Speaker 4: You're a sex person, do you have scarcity around sex? Like,
Speaker 4: if a hot guy's like, let's have sex, do you
Speaker 4: feel incompulsed.
Speaker 3: No, I feel compulsed to not give it to him
Speaker 3: because he always gets it because he's hot.
Speaker 1: That like, that's why I don't. I refuse to fuck celebrities.
Speaker 1: They get it all the time. They'll remember you more
Speaker 1: if you say now than if you say yes.
Speaker 4: Yeah, totally.
Speaker 3: I'd rather be remembered than get the sex. It's it's
Speaker 3: a long long term goals, not short term goal goals.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'd never have gotten That's why the one night
Speaker 4: stand thing is strange to me. I'm like, this is
Speaker 4: you'll just walk away having had sex with me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the guy that's not great, like the guy I
Speaker 1: wanted to have sex with most in the world, and
Speaker 1: like probably still is the person I would want to
Speaker 1: fuck most in the world.
Speaker 2: Like literally, like just like brings me to my knees.
Speaker 3: I had the chance to have sex with him and
Speaker 3: I didn't, and that's why we're still in touch. You
Speaker 3: can't say I can't say I can tell you privately
Speaker 3: it's a celebrity kind of Wow.
Speaker 4: Yes, it's weird when that thing, when that kind.
Speaker 2: Of is rude to say.
Speaker 3: But yeah, yeah, so yes, he is kind of was
Speaker 3: rude and I apologize. Yeah, that's right, come back, come
Speaker 3: back from more baby.
Speaker 4: Wow.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I know a girl who met Harry Styles. He tried
Speaker 4: to have sex with her and she was like, no,
Speaker 4: I'm hanging out with my friends.
Speaker 2: Harry Styles one of the hottest men in the on
Speaker 2: the planets.
Speaker 4: I know, I know me too, and I forever. I
Speaker 4: was like, she's an idiot, and I'm like.
Speaker 2: No, because you can always kind of like jerk off
Speaker 2: to the fact that you turned him down. Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: Harry Styles thinks about your friend and if she kicked him,
Speaker 2: and I'm talking about yes, well, and like I remember.
Speaker 3: Many people have said no to Leonardo DiCaprio and we've
Speaker 3: had we had a had a woman dimm me once
Speaker 3: and said my friend Leonardo DiCaprio, uh, and he wore headphones.
Speaker 3: And then I talked about it and then everybody's like, yeah,
Speaker 3: he wears headphones when he fucks women celebrities. I know.
Speaker 2: That's another celebrity who does that, which is cool. That's
Speaker 2: so crazy. So it's like, yeah, no, one says no
Speaker 2: to that motherfucker and it's like he's fuck y.
Speaker 4: He would you consider because maybe he wants.
Speaker 2: To try on personality instead of a.
Speaker 4: I think they get stunted to whenever they got famous.
Speaker 2: Which is like it's an addition. Great, Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2: Thank you for being here, Jordan. I was so fast.
Speaker 4: That was great.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I appreciate you.
Speaker 4: That was awesome.
Speaker 2: Thank you. Would you plug anything?
Speaker 4: I have a thing coming out on YouTube and is
Speaker 4: it a special? No, I have a special in the
Speaker 4: works that's going to be out in some months. I'm
Speaker 4: not sure when. But that's an hour. But all of
Speaker 4: the stuff that that is all about this the hour
Speaker 4: coming out is all about bad woman stuff, being a
Speaker 4: bad woman, insufficient woman. I love, but I cut off
Speaker 4: from that hour all of the stuff about like suicide,
Speaker 4: my dad dying, and it's just called the death Junk.
Speaker 4: It's twenty minutes. It's gonna be on YouTube in a
Speaker 4: couple of days and go to punch up live dot
Speaker 4: com slash Jordan Jensen for all my tour dates.
Speaker 2: That's all nice.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for having me was great, interviewing,
Speaker 3: very very vulnerable. Really appreciate it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, sorry that it was late twice.
Speaker 1: No, fine, it's okay. I'm only person too, I get it.
Speaker 1: This has been Guys We Fucked, the anti slut shaving podcast.
Speaker 1: We'll talk to you next Friday. Guys We Fucked is
Speaker 1: presented by Luminary, Created and hosted by Karin Fisher and
Speaker 1: Christina Hutchinson. Editing and music coordination by Mike Coscarelli. Theme
Speaker 1: song by Rob Patterson and Jake.
Speaker 2: Cozen Suck my wet ass pussy.
Speaker 1: Christina SAIDs to cut that before, but now it's in
Speaker 1: their Yeah, let's keep it.
Speaker 4: Who cares.
Speaker 3: I've got so much news, keep around the next even
Speaker 3: all that I say it's not and I say I've
Speaker 3: done all I can do.
Speaker 4: More attitudes, I'm suping, does.
Speaker 3: So music, all my.
Speaker 5: Sell I go something one day, tell me annoy, I
Speaker 5: don't connect what I.
Speaker 3: Go.
Speaker 4: Uh way, okay, let you know, but I'll wait.
Speaker 3: I'll wait