Speaker 1: My son asked me what it's like to be married.
Speaker 1: So I told him to leave me alone, And when
Speaker 1: he did, I asked him why he was ignoring me.
Speaker 2: My wife said if I made another steely, damn joke,
Speaker 2: she would divorce me. I said, sorry, honey, I promise
Speaker 2: not to do it again.
Speaker 1: Why do milking stools only have three legs because the
Speaker 1: cow has the utter?
Speaker 2: My wife said, not to tell any more food puns.
Speaker 2: I said, can we at least talk about it?
Speaker 1: Did you hear about the cattle rancher who started feeding
Speaker 1: his cow's weed? Most people haven't. It was a high
Speaker 1: stakes operation.
Speaker 2: Why do cannibal ask so many questions before they eat you?
Speaker 2: They like their meat well grilled?
Speaker 1: What does the lemon say when it answers the phone? Yellow?
Speaker 2: I tried to write a joke about plants, but it
Speaker 2: never took off.
Speaker 1: My dad said he would throw me off a cliff
Speaker 1: if I didn't eat my vegetables, but I knew it
Speaker 1: was a bluff.
Speaker 2: What kind of vine isn't a plant a bow vine?
Speaker 1: What do you call an Asian that's in a hurry? Russian?
Speaker 2: Did you ever hear about Kellogg's true crime podcast? It
Speaker 2: was filled with stories of serial killers and lucky charms
Speaker 2: that weren't so lucky.
Speaker 1: Laughter continues shortly after this brief ad break. They should
Speaker 1: make a movie based on the history of pepsi. It's
Speaker 1: so depressing.
Speaker 2: If you want to change the world, do it while
Speaker 2: you're single. Once you're married, you can't even change the
Speaker 2: television channel.
Speaker 1: Whenever I think back on things, I always see pictures
Speaker 1: of cheese. I guess I have a photographic memory.
Speaker 2: I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll
Speaker 2: keep you updated which one comes first.
Speaker 1: How much do you generally spend on a bottle of
Speaker 1: wine about half an hour?
Speaker 2: When is a dad joke right? When it is full grown?
Speaker 1: How can you tell when a bucket gets sick? It
Speaker 1: becomes a little peeled. I'm Bob Jeffy and I'm Montgomery Jones.
Speaker 1: Stay tuned until the end of the episode for a
Speaker 1: bonus dad joke. Our goal is to spread joy or
Speaker 1: cringes to the world. Share the humor with your family
Speaker 1: and friends. Have a good night, and I'll see you
Speaker 1: again tomorrow. Thank you for tuning in. Want the perfect
Speaker 1: dad gift? We have the official Daily Dad Jokes Joke button,
Speaker 1: now available on Amazon a massive five hundred preloaded Dad
Speaker 1: Jokes guaranteed to make you laugh and grown and for
Speaker 1: our loyal fans. Use the checkout discount code dad Jokes
Speaker 1: to receive twenty five percent off the regular listing price.
Speaker 1: Check the show notes page for the link. The Daily
Speaker 1: Dad Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios. See the
Speaker 1: show notes page for social media links and joke credits.
Speaker 1: This show was recorded in front of a canned studio audience.
Speaker 1: What is a cargo ship called that only carries fruit?
Speaker 1: An apple freighter