Speaker 1: I asked my personal trainer at the gym which type
Speaker 1: of machine I should use to make myself more attractive
Speaker 1: to women. He suggested the cash machine.
Speaker 2: A friend of mine's an actor. He is so focused
Speaker 2: on physical fitness that he carries all his workout equipment
Speaker 2: wherever he goes. We call him Jim Carrey.
Speaker 1: Cardi B has a cousin who is a fitness trainer.
Speaker 1: What's her name? Cardio?
Speaker 2: What kind of exercise do lazy people do? Dittaly squats?
Speaker 1: I just saw a real idiot at the gym. He
Speaker 1: put a water bottle in the pringles holder on the treadmill.
Speaker 2: My personal trainer was upset at me because I kept
Speaker 2: using the same machine at the gym. It was the
Speaker 2: vending machine.
Speaker 1: What's a pirates least favorite exercise? The plank?
Speaker 2: What exercise does the grim reaper do? Deadlifts?
Speaker 1: What type of exercise does cars do? Cardio?
Speaker 2: I am hiding from exercise. I am in the fitness
Speaker 2: protection program.
Speaker 1: What is the chips? Favorite exercise? Crunches?
Speaker 2: My favorite exercise is between a lunge and a crunch.
Speaker 2: It's called lunch More.
Speaker 1: Dad humor will waits right after this short break exercise,
Speaker 1: I thought you said extra fries.
Speaker 2: I'm too old for bodyweight exercises now. Yeah, Like I
Speaker 2: still go to the gym, but I can't pick up women.
Speaker 1: What do you call a monk who meditates instead of
Speaker 1: exercising a deep fat friar.
Speaker 2: What's a mother cow's favorite exercise calf raises?
Speaker 1: Darth Vader's favorite exercise scythops.
Speaker 2: I saved my back exercise for the end lat's but
Speaker 2: not least.
Speaker 1: Pregnancy is exercise, it's bodybuilding.
Speaker 2: My pe teacher told me to warm up before we
Speaker 2: start exercising, so I went outside and stood in the sun.
Speaker 1: I've been trying to come up with jokes about people
Speaker 1: who don't exercise, but none of them work out.
Speaker 2: I would exercise today, but all I have is this rope.
Speaker 2: Maybe I'll just skip it.
Speaker 1: What do you call the award you get for not
Speaker 1: exercising enough atrophy?
Speaker 2: Why did the gem not hire the lady who only
Speaker 2: exercised on the kitchen island as a fitness instructor. They
Speaker 2: determined she was counterfeit.
Speaker 1: What part of the body do chickens exercise the most?
Speaker 1: They're picks?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm into fitness. Into fitness, piece of pizza, into
Speaker 2: my mouth.
Speaker 1: I saw a fitness program for rebel insurgents resistance streaming.
Speaker 2: Who won the skeleton fitness contest Nobody.
Speaker 1: Fitness tip do bicep curls with a dictionary. It adds
Speaker 1: definition to your muscles.
Speaker 2: My fitness instructor is from Jamaica. She teaches the plates
Speaker 2: of the Caribbean.
Speaker 1: You've met my fitness trainer. His name is Jim.
Speaker 2: How does a demon stay fit? He exorcises.
Speaker 1: All the buses in the station were doing their fitness test,
Speaker 1: but there was one not doing anything, just shouting encouraging
Speaker 1: words of advice. It was a coach.
Speaker 2: What do you call adolescents who are into health and
Speaker 2: fitness proteins.
Speaker 1: I was going to do reverse lunches this year for
Speaker 1: my fitness, but I feel that would just be a
Speaker 1: big step backwards.
Speaker 2: I've been working on a fit this app for insects.
Speaker 2: I'm still trying to work out the bugs.
Speaker 1: I asked my girlfriend to meet me at the gym,
Speaker 1: but she never showed up. That's how I knew we
Speaker 1: weren't going to work out.
Speaker 2: I saw the priest at the gym today. He was exorcizing.
Speaker 1: What is the gem in heaven called Jehovah's Fitness.
Speaker 2: Jim should remain open during a lockdown. The Constitution guarantees
Speaker 2: freedom of the press.
Speaker 1: My buddy said he was going to do some leg
Speaker 1: extensions at the gym. I don't think he's very good
Speaker 1: at them. He didn't come back any taller.
Speaker 2: The treadmill company I started as retaining a lot of customers.
Speaker 2: We're proud of the fact that these people are going nowhere.
Speaker 1: When I hopped on the treadmill at the gym, everyone
Speaker 1: started looking at me funny, So I started running instead.
Speaker 2: I quit my job as a treadmill tester. I just
Speaker 2: felt like I wasn't going anywhere.
Speaker 1: I'm crying because I saw a cow on the treadmill.
Speaker 1: It was utterly moving.
Speaker 2: If you play rock paper scissors on a treadmill, always
Speaker 2: choose paper. Everyone knows you don't run with scissors.
Speaker 1: Did you hear about the treadmill software that got hacked, Well,
Speaker 1: everything's running again.
Speaker 2: I asked my personal trainer to give me a discount.
Speaker 2: He said, I'll try to stretch your money.
Speaker 1: I'm Bob Jaffe and I'm Montgomery Jones, and that's the
Speaker 1: sweaty dad jokes for National Exercise Day We're on a
Speaker 1: mission to spread the laughs and groans far and wide,
Speaker 1: so please do us a favor and share just one
Speaker 1: of these jokes with your family and friends today. Thanks.
Speaker 1: Want the perfect dad gift, we have the official Daily
Speaker 1: Dad Jokes Joke button, now available on Amazon, a massive
Speaker 1: five hundred preloaded dad jokes guaranteed to make you laugh
Speaker 1: and grown. And for our loyal fans, use the Checkout
Speaker 1: Discount Dad Jokes to receive twenty five percent off the
Speaker 1: regular listing price. Check the show notes page for the link.
Speaker 1: The Daily Dad Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios.
Speaker 1: See the show notes page for social media links and
Speaker 1: Joe credits. This show was recorded in front of a
Speaker 1: canned studio audience.