Speaker 1: My girlfriend told me that if I make one more
Speaker 1: joke about numbers, we're not going to be a couple anymore.
Speaker 1: I said, pair enough.
Speaker 2: My wife said, if I told one more joke about fruits,
Speaker 2: she was going to kick me out of the house.
Speaker 2: But where does a mango from here?
Speaker 1: I got pulled over by the cops the other day.
Speaker 1: They asked me if I had a police record. I
Speaker 1: don't think Roxanne was what they were looking for.
Speaker 2: Why couldn't the policeman get out of bed he was
Speaker 2: an undercover cop.
Speaker 1: What are Cannibal's favorite weekend breakfast French toes?
Speaker 2: I got arrested for illegally downloading the entire way Wikipedia.
Speaker 2: Fortunately I could explain everything I want to hear a
Speaker 2: joke about time travel. Never mind, you didn't like it.
Speaker 2: My wife asked me how preparing the cheese was going.
Speaker 2: I said, it's great.
Speaker 1: Which US president never committed any crimes Abraham Lincoln because
Speaker 1: he was always in a sin.
Speaker 2: If you want to put extra muscle on your lower legs,
Speaker 2: make sure you drink milk. It's been shown to be
Speaker 2: the best thing for growing calves.
Speaker 1: I wanted to tell a joke about landscaping, but I
Speaker 1: couldn't come up with mulch.
Speaker 2: Why did the fish blush because it saw the ocean's bottom.
Speaker 1: We'll continue with more Dad humor after this quick pause.
Speaker 1: My wife Nancy said that I better not make any
Speaker 1: more jokes about the economy, So I said, that's finance.
Speaker 2: Why do truckers know so much about movies? They watched
Speaker 2: trailers all day?
Speaker 1: What did one hat say to the other? You stay here,
Speaker 1: I'll go on ahead.
Speaker 2: I gave my ev the name Charles. When it's plugged,
Speaker 2: and I can say Charles is in charge.
Speaker 1: Beavers can be so inconsiderate at times. They really don't
Speaker 1: give a damn.
Speaker 2: My subtraction jokes are gaining a lot of popularity. They're
Speaker 2: really making a difference.
Speaker 1: Guess how I lost a stone in just two days?
Speaker 1: It must have filled out of my pocket. I'm Bob
Speaker 1: Jeffy and I'm Montgomery Jones. Stick around for a bonus
Speaker 1: Dad joke. Don't forget to share the jokes with your
Speaker 1: family and friends. Have a great night, and I'll see
Speaker 1: you tomorrow. Thank you for listening. Want the perfect dad gift?
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Speaker 1: the show notes page for the link. The Daily Dad
Speaker 1: Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios. See the show
Speaker 1: notes page for social media links and joke credits. This
Speaker 1: show was recorded in front of a canned studio audience.
Speaker 1: How is arguing with a woman like reading a software
Speaker 1: license agreement? In the end, you ignore it all and
Speaker 1: click I agree.