Speaker 1: I've just seen a man with no armed cycle past me.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure of his name, but his face rang
Speaker 1: a bill.
Speaker 2: Turns out that Lance Armstrong was not only taking drugs,
Speaker 2: he was pedaling two.
Speaker 1: It's my first week working at the bicycle factory and
Speaker 1: they've already made me a spokesperson.
Speaker 2: What's the difference between a well dressed man on a
Speaker 2: unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire.
Speaker 1: Daughter texted me this in the morning. I can't wake
Speaker 1: up this morning, feel like a bicycle too tired.
Speaker 2: Where do bicycles go for a drink around here? Handlebars?
Speaker 1: Every day I go for a walk, I get hit
Speaker 1: by the same bicycle. It's a vicious cycle.
Speaker 2: Why did ET's bicycle only turn left? Because Americans have
Speaker 2: unalienable rights? What was the first Italian bicycle? The Pinna farthing?
Speaker 2: Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for
Speaker 2: riding a bicycle made of marijuana? He was pedaling dope.
Speaker 1: In order to save money, I decided to stop using
Speaker 1: tires on my bicycle. So far, the idea hasn't gained
Speaker 1: any traction.
Speaker 2: How many birds can ride a bicycle? Two can?
Speaker 1: We'll return with more laughs following this short break. What
Speaker 1: do you call a girl sitting on the handlebars of
Speaker 1: a bicycle? Is a bille?
Speaker 2: I wanted tickets to Olympic track cycling event. I asked
Speaker 2: everyone I knew for tickets, but all anyone could do
Speaker 2: is suggest someone else to ask. In the end, I
Speaker 2: was just going round and round.
Speaker 1: I saw plenty of squirrels this morning cycling through the park.
Speaker 1: I don't know how they can afford bikes.
Speaker 2: What do you call a bike trail that shows no
Speaker 2: empathy a cycle path?
Speaker 1: Shark can swim faster than me, but I can run
Speaker 1: faster than a shark. So when a triathlon, it would
Speaker 1: all come down to who was the better cyclist.
Speaker 2: How do flowers ride a bike with its petals?
Speaker 1: What do bikes and humans have in common? They're both bipeddle.
Speaker 2: The police came around last night and told me my
Speaker 2: dogs were chasing people on bikes. I told them my
Speaker 2: dogs don't even have bikes.
Speaker 1: Mary Poppins retired from her nanny job to ride BMX
Speaker 1: full time. Now she's known as Wheeley Poppins. I'm Bob
Speaker 1: Jeffy and I'm Montgomery Jones, and we're the spokesman for
Speaker 1: National Bicycle Day. We're on a mission to spread the
Speaker 1: laughs and groans far and wide, so please do us
Speaker 1: a favor and share just one of these jokes with
Speaker 1: your family and friends today.
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Speaker 2: Jokes Podcast is produced by Classic Studios. See the show
Speaker 2: notes page for social media links and joke credits. This
Speaker 2: show was recorded in front of a canned studio audience.