Speaker 1: All right, you found us on a Friday. Welcome to
Speaker 1: the podcast, Alexis. How many five hour energy bottles did
Speaker 1: you count in the trash?
Speaker 2: Can?
Speaker 1: I think it was eleven?
Speaker 3: Oh, guys, fifty energy?
Speaker 1: My god, let's just hope Jeffrey's heart doesn't explode his
Speaker 1: fuel for his parody song. Today's song of the Week
Speaker 1: is in well today's podcast. There it goes. Let's start
Speaker 1: it now.
Speaker 3: I know we do the shot collar the question of
Speaker 3: the day in a few minutes here, but before we
Speaker 3: get to that, I'm going to ask my own little
Speaker 3: question and if anybody gets it right, they get a
Speaker 3: kiss on the lips. Yeah, it's broken, Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 4: Can I can I google from you?
Speaker 3: Well, we're gonna find out that in the second because
Speaker 3: a recent study found sixty percent of Americans regularly eat
Speaker 3: after nine pm.
Speaker 4: Oh, I try so hard not.
Speaker 3: To strong temptation.
Speaker 4: Yes, it's so.
Speaker 3: What are the top three favorite midnight snacks? You guys
Speaker 3: all have to come to a consensus on it, and again,
Speaker 3: if you get it right, you get a kiss on
Speaker 3: the lips. I'm getting out my vasoline.
Speaker 5: You guys discussed cereal every time, Okay.
Speaker 3: I don't want to hear it. You guys come to
Speaker 3: a consensus. The spokesperson for the group, I'm guessing it's
Speaker 3: probably gonna be Brooke because she's not going to listen
Speaker 3: to any of your answers. Anyway.
Speaker 1: I like Cereal was a really good guess. I would
Speaker 1: say ice cream would be up there. I'm not listening
Speaker 1: and listening obviously, Brussels sprouts, that's what okay.
Speaker 3: As a dipsod, we need the consensus. What is your consensus?
Speaker 6: One guess?
Speaker 3: One guess? What is the consensus?
Speaker 1: I would say goldfish over Oh, we're just doing one
Speaker 1: guess the top three. You are a terrible question one thing.
Speaker 5: You're not serious.
Speaker 4: Cereal.
Speaker 3: We're going cereal, okay, Cereal is your guest. The top
Speaker 3: three favorite midnight snacks for Americans are cookies, ice cream,
Speaker 3: and chips.
Speaker 7: So you know what.
Speaker 3: I'm going to give you guys the win anyway, and
Speaker 3: now you all get to triple kiss each other on
Speaker 3: three one two three. God, I am glad that we're
Speaker 3: on the radio because that was not alexis really unhinged
Speaker 3: on it. From my bark, that was stressful to run
Speaker 3: that game.
Speaker 4: I didn't get any because Alexis and.
Speaker 1: Still don't fully know what's going on. I'm not caught
Speaker 1: up to what you're trying to accomplish.
Speaker 3: Saying running a trivia game is difficult, So I'm really
Speaker 3: glad I'm not in charge of the shock collar question
Speaker 3: of the day. That one is all up to digital Jake,
Speaker 3: and hopefully there's some sort of like first second base
Speaker 3: reward for it. Go ahead, Jake, is.
Speaker 8: The kissing over? Can I take my blandfold off?
Speaker 9: Jake?
Speaker 8: That's what you? Oh my guys, well.
Speaker 7: On this day Back in nineteen eighty seven, the first
Speaker 7: animated short aired about a family of five from the
Speaker 7: town of Springfield, later go on to become one of
Speaker 7: the most popular TV shows in history.
Speaker 8: I'm talking about The Simpsons.
Speaker 10: Yeah, and who can forget those classic comedy scenarios like
Speaker 10: excuse me, remember when Homer's setting up his computer and
Speaker 10: he's prompted to hit any key to continue, but he
Speaker 10: can't find the any key.
Speaker 3: Classic There's too.
Speaker 7: Many hilarious moments to name in the over seven hundred
Speaker 7: and sixty full length episodes they've done, insane and most
Speaker 7: people don't realize every episode also has a funny, punny title.
Speaker 7: Really Okay, that's why today we're gonna put you to
Speaker 7: the test in a special real or not real Simpsons
Speaker 7: episode edition of.
Speaker 3: Plenty D.
Speaker 7: Okay, so these are all puns that may or may
Speaker 7: not be the title of actual Simpsons episodes.
Speaker 1: Oh right, let's go.
Speaker 7: We're gonna We're gonna start with the girl who wishes
Speaker 7: she had the body of Marge but instead has the
Speaker 7: body of Maggie. Yeah, Alexis, your Simpsons title is Don't
Speaker 7: Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dad.
Speaker 8: Is that a real Simpsons episode or made.
Speaker 3: Up like that? That was a movie? Right, don't tell
Speaker 3: them on the Babysit it's dead.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're redoing it.
Speaker 4: Did you know that?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's such a good film. Everyone should
Speaker 1: watch that.
Speaker 5: I know about it from you talking about baby.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I mean if that was a famous movie like that
Speaker 5: did really well at the time, why wouldn't they get
Speaker 5: into the show?
Speaker 7: Say it's true, Alexis says, that's a real Simpsons episode.
Speaker 1: That is Yeah, who would want Homer Simpson as a babysitter?
Speaker 8: Jose, you're up next.
Speaker 7: Okay, your title is We're on the road to Don't
Speaker 7: Wear a real Simpsons episode or made up?
Speaker 11: This is hard Man, because that's obviously it would be
Speaker 11: a great title.
Speaker 4: They're going on a road trip somewhere.
Speaker 3: And it sounds like you've seen a lot of the
Speaker 3: Simpsons episode that doesn't ring a bell every single day.
Speaker 11: I think it was one of those days where the
Speaker 11: writers couldn't think of something specific.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna say it's real.
Speaker 8: Jose said, real.
Speaker 3: That is.
Speaker 1: We're moving on to Brook, O Brook.
Speaker 7: Your title is bart Man begins the Rise of Springfield's
Speaker 7: Masked Menace? Is that a real Simpsons episode or made up?
Speaker 1: Bartman was the funnest part of the video game of
Speaker 1: the Yeah, I remember the video game from the CIS.
Speaker 1: I remember being on the playground and teasing other kids
Speaker 1: who weren't allowed to watch the Simpson.
Speaker 3: I couldn't at first that man begins the movie that
Speaker 3: was like the nineties, right? Was that the George Clooney one?
Speaker 1: No, I don't think it was George Clooney. I think
Speaker 1: that that was Michael Keaton Wood. I could be wrong, though,
Speaker 1: I think it's too long to be a title. They
Speaker 1: couldn't fit it into the TV guy back in the day,
Speaker 1: So I'm going to say it's not.
Speaker 8: Brook says that's made up. That is.
Speaker 3: Brook detective work.
Speaker 7: Jose and Brook as still in it. Or over to
Speaker 7: Jeffrey Jeffery, your title is Brawl in the Family. Is
Speaker 7: that a real Simpsons episode.
Speaker 4: Or made up?
Speaker 3: Like the family from the seventies with Archiet Bunker Archie. Yeah.
Speaker 3: The thing that that family is like the iconic real
Speaker 3: sitcom family. The Simpsons are the iconic cartoon family.
Speaker 1: Which is a great twist because it's brawl yeah, and
Speaker 1: they're always fighting.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So I'm going to say that this is a real
Speaker 3: Simpsons episode.
Speaker 8: Jeff said, real. That is.
Speaker 11: All right.
Speaker 8: Let's go to Jose.
Speaker 7: Your title is the Fat and the Furious episode made up?
Speaker 4: I don't know, I can see it being real. I'm
Speaker 4: gonna say it's real.
Speaker 8: Jose said, real.
Speaker 7: That is.
Speaker 12: Correct.
Speaker 8: Brook. You're up next.
Speaker 7: Your title is the Bart Mangled Banner. Is that a
Speaker 7: real Simpsons episode?
Speaker 8: Er made up?
Speaker 3: Is a prank Sterry could do something to the flag?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm gonna say it's real.
Speaker 8: Brook said, real.
Speaker 6: That is correct.
Speaker 7: Over to Jeffrey Jeffrey, your title The Good, the Sad
Speaker 7: and the Drugly is that a real Simpsons episoder made up?
Speaker 3: It's never funny to joke about drugs, Jake. So I'm
Speaker 3: gonna say, no, they didn't do this, saying made up?
Speaker 6: That is.
Speaker 7: That's a real episode, Hose. We're gonna give this last
Speaker 7: one to you. You get it right, you win, you
Speaker 7: get wrong. Jose, your title is Papa's Got a brand
Speaker 7: new badge?
Speaker 8: Is that a real Simpsons episodeer made up?
Speaker 11: I think it's the episode where Homer tries to join
Speaker 11: the police.
Speaker 4: I'm saying it's real.
Speaker 8: Jose says real that is. Jose has one dis edition
Speaker 8: of of twenty.
Speaker 4: I thought I would lose much, Jose.
Speaker 7: That means you get to pick someone to hum the
Speaker 7: Simpsons theme song today while getting shot.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna go with Maggie.
Speaker 5: Oh sorry, Alexis, but I have an that'll make it
Speaker 5: easier to hum.
Speaker 3: There sounded just like Maggie singing shock question of the day.
Speaker 6: Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning.
Speaker 3: It's time for us to recognize our hero of the week,
Speaker 3: and I know I've gotten in the last few weeks
Speaker 3: in a row, so I'm just gonna take myself out
Speaker 3: of the running this time. I know it's broken. Jeffrey
Speaker 3: in the Morning. Community, By the way, give other people
Speaker 3: a chance. You guys know who Mariska Hargitay is.
Speaker 1: Yes, what's the actress.
Speaker 3: She's the arts that's been on the show Law and
Speaker 3: Order SVU for twenty five years.
Speaker 4: Now love her.
Speaker 3: I'm showing my host a picture of it right now.
Speaker 3: You recognize her from Law and Order?
Speaker 1: Was very serious.
Speaker 3: The other day she was filming an episode of Law
Speaker 3: and Order SVU at a Manhattan park, okay, And while
Speaker 3: the cameras were rolling, a little girl saw the badge
Speaker 3: on Mariska's belt and thought that she was a real
Speaker 3: police officer.
Speaker 1: That's cute. I mean, it does look real.
Speaker 4: She should be right.
Speaker 3: At this point, she walked up and asked her, can
Speaker 3: you help me find my mom? Oh?
Speaker 1: I'm saying uh oh, Like it's not good if a
Speaker 1: kid's asking the police officer where her mom is.
Speaker 3: Well, she was lost in the park and apparently was
Speaker 3: oblivious to all of the cameras and all of the
Speaker 3: lights and the entire film crew walked right into the shop.
Speaker 1: Either that her mom's hiding in a bush like, hey, honey,
Speaker 1: I see some films cameras.
Speaker 3: So Mariska bent down to the little girl and said, hey,
Speaker 3: beat it, kid, you're ruining the shot, no Jo, I'm
Speaker 3: just kidding.
Speaker 4: You're stealing my angles.
Speaker 3: They haunted production for twenty minutes while Mariska helped the
Speaker 3: girl find her mom, and the only other commotion that
Speaker 3: was going on during the set was iced Tea got
Speaker 3: very upset the girl didn't recognize who he was, right,
Speaker 3: how do you not know who I am? But still
Speaker 3: Mariska is our hero of the week. Good job, Mariska.
Speaker 3: Hopefully no lost children wandering during Laser Stories because we
Speaker 3: are not stopping. It's coming up next. It's the radio
Speaker 3: segment that is pumped for the new grocery store innovation
Speaker 3: that he's bringing to the public. Let's starting next year.
Speaker 3: Forget Whole Foods, head on over to swol Foods.
Speaker 6: Yay.
Speaker 3: The veggies and fruits are all injected with illegal growth hormones,
Speaker 3: so they're seven times as big as normal. Man, you're
Speaker 3: gonna need two hands for that grape.
Speaker 11: With Laser Stories eat the warna walk into it?
Speaker 1: Yeah, why do I imagine a banana with biceps?
Speaker 3: He's like James and the Giant Peach FROs a segment
Speaker 3: where we read weird news stories around the globe, just
Speaker 3: like everyone else. Does, except we've got a laser and
Speaker 3: those other thickleberries. Just this first lazer story is out
Speaker 3: of Brazil. A thirty seven year old woman named Lena
Speaker 3: oliveras facing serious charges after she wheeled her very dead
Speaker 3: uncle into a bank weekend at Bernie's Style and tried
Speaker 3: to take out thirty four hundred dollars in his name.
Speaker 6: Today, no one will notice.
Speaker 1: He just always smells like that.
Speaker 3: Beg Teller got it on video. According to him, the
Speaker 3: man was no longer with us. Clearly he did very obviously,
Speaker 3: but the niece kept talking to him like he was alive.
Speaker 3: She even had to hold his head up the entire
Speaker 3: time and move his hand to right.
Speaker 4: That is sick.
Speaker 1: Maybe she just thought he was a deep sleeper, you know.
Speaker 3: Said his skin tone looked off and that he was
Speaker 3: oddly quiet. Yeah, but the woman claimed he's just like that.
Speaker 3: He doesn't like to say much anything. Well, employees got
Speaker 3: suspicious and called the cops, who showed up and arrested her.
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, did the grandpa get arrested?
Speaker 3: Yeah, tell me he.
Speaker 1: Died of natural causes.
Speaker 3: The man she brought in was identified as a sixty
Speaker 3: eight year old who apparently died several hours earlier. It's
Speaker 3: not even clear if she's really his niece, but the
Speaker 3: woman could face charges for fraud, embezzlement, abuse of a
Speaker 3: corpse for all of the above.
Speaker 1: Isn't it crazy that we have to put that as
Speaker 1: a lot?
Speaker 3: Yeah. As brazen as that sounds, this type of thing
Speaker 3: isn't unheard of. Just last month, two women in Ohio
Speaker 3: got arrested after they prop a dead guy up in
Speaker 3: their car, went to a bank's drive through, and took
Speaker 3: out nine hundred dollars from his account.
Speaker 1: I thought you were just gonna say, and u zhov.
Speaker 11: Lan, Yeah, should be fine.
Speaker 3: This next lazer stories out of herpies and parties and spodies.
Speaker 4: Oh my, I don't want to go here, Jack.
Speaker 3: How can American University get more American?
Speaker 6: Here we go?
Speaker 3: Well, they just created a class called swift Gnomics, which is, yes,
Speaker 3: a study of Taylor Swift's economic impacts.
Speaker 8: Oh my god, this legit is?
Speaker 5: Does the professor I think they're going to know more
Speaker 5: than the students in this.
Speaker 3: In class, students will take a look at her business footprint,
Speaker 3: earnings from her era's tour, her influence on Ticketmaster, and
Speaker 3: much more.
Speaker 1: Yes, seriously, way to get kids into econ.
Speaker 3: One of the students who proposed the idea says, quote,
Speaker 3: Taylor is my hero, and if you think about it,
Speaker 3: Taylor is just so Taylor, and we should learn as
Speaker 3: much about Taylor as we possibly can't.
Speaker 1: That wasn't as poetic Taylor Swift is.
Speaker 3: But no word un if they'll touch on Taylor's carbon
Speaker 3: footprint in her private jets, impact on the.
Speaker 1: Economy, Yeah, you mean on the environment and all that too.
Speaker 3: But in related news, Taylor's eleventh album drops the Tortured
Speaker 3: Poets Department.
Speaker 11: Wow, imagine dating a girl who is a master's in
Speaker 11: Taylor Swift.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this next laser stories out of Italy. Most Americans
Speaker 3: have a hard time making it through a meal without
Speaker 3: pulling out their phones, even at a restaurant. But apparently
Speaker 3: some of us would gladly give that up if we
Speaker 3: got a discount. If you're traveling, bribe bus, if you're
Speaker 3: traveling in Italy anytime soon, there's a new restaurant over
Speaker 3: there that's trying something kind of cool. They're giving diners
Speaker 3: a free bottle of wine if you give up your
Speaker 3: phone when you come in.
Speaker 4: What I would be easy for Brook free bottle of wine.
Speaker 5: That's anyway I shouldn't be texting at that point.
Speaker 1: Two bottles of free wine.
Speaker 3: It's not just on the honor system. They'll actually put
Speaker 3: your phone into a box and lock it with a key,
Speaker 3: which they give to you.
Speaker 1: You have separation anxiety thinking about it, Jose, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: really do.
Speaker 4: I'm an alcoholic. You think I choose the wine, but no,
Speaker 4: I'm still choosing. I'm a phone a haulic.
Speaker 3: Well, if you end up going there, giving up your
Speaker 3: phone is optional. You don't have to do it, okay,
Speaker 3: but with a generous perk like a bottle of wine.
Speaker 3: They say. The response has been very positive.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you a picture of your food.
Speaker 3: And most diners are taking them up on the offer.
Speaker 3: Although if you decide halfway through the meal you can't
Speaker 3: handle it anymore and unlock the box, alarms will sound
Speaker 3: and you will get charged for your wine.
Speaker 1: And shamed by everybody else that you know.
Speaker 4: That's kind of funny. I like it.
Speaker 3: The restaurant thought it would be a fun way to
Speaker 3: encourage diners to be more present with their companions, and
Speaker 3: it seems to be working. That's also next lazer stories
Speaker 3: out of the interwebs. The cheating site Ashley Madison dot
Speaker 3: Com asks users to name other things they would be
Speaker 3: less likely to cheat on than their partner.
Speaker 4: Oh oh, cow.
Speaker 6: Well.
Speaker 3: Seventy seven percent claim they were honest last Monday and
Speaker 3: would not cheat on their taxes.
Speaker 8: Very noble.
Speaker 1: It was supposed to make us feel better about them or.
Speaker 3: Say they're not totally bad people. Other things cheaters say
Speaker 3: they would never cheat on. Eighty two percent of people
Speaker 3: say they never book an appointment with a different barber hairstylist.
Speaker 4: That does feel like cheating.
Speaker 1: They know too, They know when you go back in
Speaker 1: and you're.
Speaker 4: Like, that's not my haircut. I didn't cut this hair.
Speaker 3: Eighty three percent said phone carrier.
Speaker 1: You wouldn't cheat on your phone carrier.
Speaker 3: Alexis promises to never quit on you. Cricket wire shout out.
Speaker 3: Eighty four percent of people say they would never quit
Speaker 3: on their favorite shoe brand, and eighty six percent said
Speaker 3: their political part So this is where they.
Speaker 1: Draw the line, not their spouse.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they have standards, brooke Okay. Eight people said they'd
Speaker 3: feel terrible if they tried a different therapist.
Speaker 1: Oh, I feel like if you're on Ashley Madison, the
Speaker 1: therapist isn't working because that way.
Speaker 3: Unless you're cheating with the therapists.
Speaker 1: Didn't even think about that, and you have to pay
Speaker 1: for it.
Speaker 3: Probably. Yeah, and finally, ninety percent of the public would
Speaker 3: feel the absolute worst about cheating on their favorite sports team.
Speaker 8: Oh oh, I would never.
Speaker 4: Hey, I would never.
Speaker 3: You're a diehard.
Speaker 4: I am a diehard.
Speaker 3: He But the thing is, that's a problem for this
Speaker 3: guy because in baseball there's all these teams named after socks.
Speaker 3: Where are the teams named after shoes? Where aps Detroit slide?
Speaker 3: He's hoping someday his team will come along New.
Speaker 4: Mexico flip flops.
Speaker 1: Oh, I like the Philadelphia stilettos.
Speaker 3: Come on city, adopt one of these. That sound means
Speaker 3: Laser Stories has come to an end for the day.
Speaker 3: We'll do it again, same time on.
Speaker 6: Monday, Brooking Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 3: Brook and Alexis have no idea right now what segment
Speaker 3: we're about to do here.
Speaker 1: That's just because I haven't been paying attention.
Speaker 3: You guys don't know any of the background to this.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna tell you from my understanding, what we're gonna
Speaker 3: hear is very shocking, very very entertaining. The reason why
Speaker 3: is because when Jose was coming back from vacation the
Speaker 3: other week, he flew first class and you're never gonna
Speaker 3: believe who he sat next to.
Speaker 4: Now, seriously, you guys are not gone.
Speaker 3: And how many hours it took him to actually realize
Speaker 3: who it was.
Speaker 11: That's actually no spoilers.
Speaker 3: You're gonna find out when he tells the full hilarious story.
Speaker 3: It's coming up right after this. I don't want to
Speaker 3: overseell this.
Speaker 1: I am dying to hear who you sat next to?
Speaker 3: But is this gonna be the best airplane story we've
Speaker 3: ever had on the show, Even better than the time
Speaker 3: Brooke had a lavatory hookup with Royal Traveling salesman while
Speaker 3: she was a filling stewardess for Quantis.
Speaker 11: Where Philing Stewart is I'm quantius of a protocol.
Speaker 13: Brook, It happened, and you can't deny it.
Speaker 3: It's Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 1: You like a bag of peanut.
Speaker 3: It's true. Our own Jose Bolanos does fly a lot recently,
Speaker 3: though he got upgraded to first class.
Speaker 1: Yes, so that's always your first class. You say it.
Speaker 3: Was still a very special time. Let's not down sell it.
Speaker 3: So that's where we're gonna start. Jose paint the picture
Speaker 3: for us. You've just been upgraded to first class, and
Speaker 3: you walk into.
Speaker 4: The plane and walk into the plane.
Speaker 11: I sit down, and they have these fancy like shells
Speaker 11: and their seats that can recline all the way.
Speaker 1: Down because you're all along.
Speaker 11: It's going to Hawaii, so it's a six hour flight.
Speaker 4: So what I'm doing is I'm I'm mostly sleeping.
Speaker 3: I can't get the way to hear the details of
Speaker 3: your's mad.
Speaker 1: Okay, this is about someone you dreamed about.
Speaker 4: Okay, listen. I sit down and I'm playing with the seats.
Speaker 4: I'm like cool or whatever. And this guy sits.
Speaker 1: Next, and I'm loud i am.
Speaker 4: I'm like like, well, this goes all the way back anyway.
Speaker 3: And the guy sits down and he's like trying.
Speaker 8: To talk to me.
Speaker 4: He's like, hey, how's it going.
Speaker 11: And I'm just kind of like, hey, what's up, brother,
Speaker 11: Like I'm busy over here, you know, But I was.
Speaker 1: Nice in first class. Are your seats as close as
Speaker 1: they are.
Speaker 11: In the back so they're only like you next to
Speaker 11: each other.
Speaker 4: That's a great question. But they do have a separator
Speaker 4: in the middle.
Speaker 11: You want privacy, you can like lift up this little down,
Speaker 11: but it's down right now.
Speaker 3: That's how you know it's a classy person. They're like,
Speaker 3: I don't have time.
Speaker 11: And then eventually, once we're taking off, I put the
Speaker 11: separator up on him. I'm just like, later, think you
Speaker 11: know whatever, I go. I sleep for like five hours,
Speaker 11: four hours.
Speaker 1: So you're sleeping next to somebody famous, and you waste the.
Speaker 4: Entire no idea. Right.
Speaker 11: So as we're descending, I put the separator back down,
Speaker 11: and I'm just like, boy, do I wish I was
Speaker 11: rich and famous and I have to go back to
Speaker 11: work on Monday.
Speaker 3: I said that to him, yeah, and.
Speaker 1: He's actually rich.
Speaker 3: I didn't know. What did he say?
Speaker 4: He goes, yeah, man, well, I was like I gotta
Speaker 4: work monday. He goes, oh, I gotta work tomorrow. And
Speaker 4: I was like, really, what do you do?
Speaker 3: And he goes, oh my god.
Speaker 1: It's when it does on him.
Speaker 11: Yes, And then he goes like, well, I uh, I
Speaker 11: play guitar. And I'm sorry to say play guitar because
Speaker 11: he gets all quiet and he's like yeah, and I'm like,
Speaker 11: in what band?
Speaker 4: And then he literally goes.
Speaker 11: Pearl Jam what and why my god, the lead guitarist
Speaker 11: of Pearl Jam.
Speaker 4: Yes, no, Alexis, you have no ida? What's going on?
Speaker 14: Okay, it's not Edder.
Speaker 11: He is Eddie Vedder, and roll all recognize Eddie Vedder.
Speaker 4: Okay, in his defense, he looked like a bum.
Speaker 11: He just got on the shorts and flip blomps on.
Speaker 6: I didn't.
Speaker 3: He looks like a bomb.
Speaker 1: He's like, he's like, what if the starters.
Speaker 4: Of Freaky You know, he's a legend. He's literally a
Speaker 4: Hall of fame.
Speaker 1: So what you find out best friends with Eddie Vedder?
Speaker 1: The entire plan.
Speaker 3: When you learn that it's Eddie Vedder, do you fanboy
Speaker 3: out on him right there?
Speaker 11: Okay, so I don't really fanboy a lot that much,
Speaker 11: but internally he drops adrenaline shooting and I am like, okay, you.
Speaker 3: Say anything, you pull out the blanket and you're like, here,
Speaker 3: get under this.
Speaker 12: No.
Speaker 1: Reviewing all the dumb things I had just said.
Speaker 4: No, look, you said much yet, so this is what
Speaker 4: I do? I play cool.
Speaker 11: I'm like, oh nice, bro, Yeah, I figured it could
Speaker 11: have been. You know, I'm on a radio show, so
Speaker 11: we probably play your music.
Speaker 1: But you did not say that.
Speaker 11: And he goes, oh, you do radio, and I was
Speaker 11: like yeah, and I was like, I'm on a I'm
Speaker 11: on a morning show called ask.
Speaker 4: You More about him.
Speaker 3: This is jo conversation has.
Speaker 1: Always about him.
Speaker 11: I want him to know he's comfortable with me, like
Speaker 11: I'm used to celebrity cool even though freaking out. And
Speaker 11: then he's like, so what do you do, when I
Speaker 11: was like, well, I do a lot of impressions and
Speaker 11: like phone tab characters and like comedy. So then he's like, okay, well,
Speaker 11: what's your best impression?
Speaker 1: Did you do it? You did an impression for Eddie.
Speaker 4: Better impression ran the gambit on it.
Speaker 1: He got upset.
Speaker 4: Baby, we were.
Speaker 11: I started out with Arnold, right, yeah, me and you
Speaker 11: and were flying back for.
Speaker 12: He's up.
Speaker 4: He goes, that's really good, and I go, yeah, one,
Speaker 4: you may not know. It's a custom. When I do,
Speaker 4: it's called love.
Speaker 11: Rolando was the most impressive because he told me after
Speaker 11: that doesn't sound like you at all.
Speaker 4: That's not your voice.
Speaker 11: And I'm like, I know, hold on first not even
Speaker 11: the best part. This is how impressed he was, guys.
Speaker 11: He goes, oh god, okay, I really have to ask
Speaker 11: close your eyes, and I'm like okay, Kenny Venner and.
Speaker 4: I close my eyes and he goes, tell me who
Speaker 4: you think this is?
Speaker 11: And he starts doing impressions everywhere he.
Speaker 4: And I don't know. I'm like, oh, it's on the.
Speaker 11: Impressions, yes, and he's like and I'm like, oh, it's
Speaker 11: so close.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: He finally he.
Speaker 4: Goes, it was Bruce Springsteen.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, old guy doing an impression.
Speaker 3: You mention this.
Speaker 11: Actually he's a friend of mine. I'm like, God, it's
Speaker 11: probably why you got the impression.
Speaker 1: Anyway, I am seriously crying.
Speaker 11: So that was the best thing ever. At the end
Speaker 11: of it, Literally, he did notice my hat.
Speaker 4: I was wearing this.
Speaker 11: Hat that I'm wearing a brick of Jeffrey hat, and
Speaker 11: he can I take a picture because I really want
Speaker 11: to listen to your show, like you're you seem like
Speaker 11: a great dude and blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: So any better could be listening right now listening.
Speaker 4: I love you, brother, and I do want to say.
Speaker 11: The thing that made him laugh the most was the
Speaker 11: very end when we're saying goodbye and I said, oh, hey,
Speaker 11: by the way, Eddie and he's like, yeah, I'm like,
Speaker 11: I hope your little band makes it.
Speaker 3: I told him that before. To tell us, do you
Speaker 3: believe that was actually any better? Because I'm by I'm.
Speaker 4: Sure I'm not allowed to post it.
Speaker 3: Text if you believe that's a real story. Phone tap
Speaker 3: right after.
Speaker 6: This, Brook and Jeffrey in the morning today.
Speaker 3: We call a mom who signed her nine year old
Speaker 3: daughter up for an all girls youth softball team.
Speaker 1: Oh, that's cool.
Speaker 3: She's super excited. She's only been to one practice so far,
Speaker 3: so they're just getting going. But it's the perfect time
Speaker 3: for the team. Mom, Brooke to give her a call
Speaker 3: and let her know the official name of the girls squad. Excited,
Speaker 3: everybody loves it. And I don't think this is going
Speaker 3: to be controversial or weird in any way whatsoever. Test
Speaker 3: her in the seventy five nine to tell us if
Speaker 3: you'd be okay with having this is your girls softball
Speaker 3: team name in your phone? Tap right now it's another.
Speaker 12: Hello.
Speaker 1: Hi, is this Lisa. Yes, Lisa, your daughter Cassie has
Speaker 1: signed up for the league youth softball right.
Speaker 12: Yes, who's this?
Speaker 15: Are you the coach?
Speaker 1: No, I'm so sorry we haven't met. I'm the team mom.
Speaker 1: My name's Laura, Laura.
Speaker 7: Oh, Hi, Laura.
Speaker 1: Hi, Well, I'm just calling all the parents to go
Speaker 1: over the snack schedule for the season, and right now
Speaker 1: it looks like I have you down for game three,
Speaker 1: which is on the eleventh. Is that okay?
Speaker 14: Let's see let me write it down Game three the eleventh.
Speaker 15: Okay, yeah, that'll work.
Speaker 1: Okay, Oh great, it's so exciting. We just can't wait
Speaker 1: to cheer on our little pole dancers.
Speaker 14: Oh wait, yeah, did you say pole dancers?
Speaker 6: Yes?
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. The first game is going to be amazing.
Speaker 1: I just can't wait to see them in action, right,
Speaker 1: pole dancers?
Speaker 15: That's what you're calling?
Speaker 14: Is that the team name or something?
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, were you not in that email chain? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a girl's team name, isn't it?
Speaker 6: Cute?
Speaker 15: Whole Dancers p O L E?
Speaker 9: And then dancers.
Speaker 1: Honestly, it's probably more sweet than cute.
Speaker 12: Right.
Speaker 1: The team name is actually in my own I actually
Speaker 1: shed a little tear when they told me.
Speaker 14: Explain that to me, Like, what is the origin or
Speaker 14: is there a specific meaning?
Speaker 15: I'm not sure I understand.
Speaker 1: Oh you don't understand pole dancing. I don't come across
Speaker 1: many people that are confused. That's funny. I have Polish heritage.
Speaker 1: Every year for the summer Equinox, all the young Polish
Speaker 1: girls in my family would do a special dance. So
Speaker 1: we're the pole dancers, you.
Speaker 15: Know, Okay, okay.
Speaker 1: An official pole dancer. Isn't that awesome?
Speaker 15: Is that going to be on their shirt?
Speaker 13: Oh?
Speaker 1: You and I think so alike. It already is, and
Speaker 1: the visors also could fit pole dancers, which was great.
Speaker 1: You were a little worried. It's a lot of letters.
Speaker 9: Oh wow, oh boy.
Speaker 15: Is this like a sure thing? Has this been approved?
Speaker 3: Hi?
Speaker 15: Everybody?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's already at the printing press. Hot pink is
Speaker 1: our color. We do have a little glitter on it too.
Speaker 15: Oh.
Speaker 1: It was funny like the dads were really on board,
Speaker 1: which yeah, I thought was great.
Speaker 14: I'm sure they were very excited about that. I don't
Speaker 14: want to ruffle any feathers here, but I'm really not
Speaker 14: okay with this.
Speaker 1: Oh I see, is this like a political thing? Do
Speaker 1: you hate Poland or something?
Speaker 15: No?
Speaker 14: No, not in any way, shape or form. My grandparents
Speaker 14: were from Poland, So.
Speaker 1: You're a poll dancer. Well we can get parent T shirts.
Speaker 14: Yeah, no, you're not understanding what I'm saying. That phrase
Speaker 14: has a different connotation like a strip club and naked
Speaker 14: women on a metal pole, and that's what most people visualize.
Speaker 1: Oh my godness, Lisa, you were a wild mob. Oh no,
Speaker 1: one would think that this is crazy. What were you
Speaker 1: like in your twenties? Boy, that is embarrassing.
Speaker 15: I'm just so confused.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, I'm sorry. It does sound like you have
Speaker 1: a little bit of an issue, but I honestly think
Speaker 1: you're gonna be fine when we're all sitting in the
Speaker 1: stands together yelling pull dancers, pull dancers, pool dancers.
Speaker 15: This visual is so not good for me.
Speaker 14: I can't even imagine people yelling that.
Speaker 1: And the girls even have this great chance that they
Speaker 1: do from the dugout where they're like, show me the money.
Speaker 16: Oh no, no, no, no, no, no no. If this
Speaker 16: is really gonna be what it is, I just I
Speaker 16: can't in good conscience have Cassie on this team.
Speaker 1: She's so gonna miss out because at the end of
Speaker 1: every game, instead of ice cream, we make it ray
Speaker 1: dollar bills are English ones, of course.
Speaker 15: Come on, now, you're just being silly.
Speaker 14: You know that this is like stripper stuff, right, are
Speaker 14: you pulling my leg?
Speaker 1: I'm not, but your best friend deren Is because she's
Speaker 1: the one that set you up for this prank phone call.
Speaker 14: Oh my god, really, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: This is actually Broke from the radio show Broke and
Speaker 1: Jeffrey in the Morning. Oh my god. When I said
Speaker 1: pool dancers, you kind of knew what I was talking about.
Speaker 1: You didn't really fall for that whole Polish heritage thing,
Speaker 1: did jeff I.
Speaker 9: Really did in the beginning.
Speaker 1: It didn't seem like you were confused. It seemed like
Speaker 1: you got it pretty quickly.
Speaker 6: I mean, you don't have.
Speaker 1: To pretend like we didn't know what we were.
Speaker 15: Talking about here.
Speaker 9: This is hilarious.
Speaker 1: I'm only say you've made it rain before.
Speaker 9: If I have, I'm not sharing it with you.
Speaker 6: Wake Up every Morning was phone taps weekday mornings on
Speaker 6: the twenties Brooking Jeffrey in the Morning.
Speaker 3: I don't know why everyone seems to think that speaking
Speaker 3: is so important when you're trying to attract someone.
Speaker 4: It is, actually you didn't know somebody.
Speaker 3: It's okay, really, but have you ever tried to silently
Speaker 3: stare at someone for prolonged periods of time. It's pretty powerful.
Speaker 3: Let me tell you, Like, watch me do some eyework
Speaker 3: on alexis.
Speaker 4: No, I don't like any of this.
Speaker 6: I can feel it.
Speaker 4: I can you please talk?
Speaker 5: I don't like this all No, I actually want to
Speaker 5: leave the room.
Speaker 3: Please not at least feels good. I'm not the only
Speaker 3: one who knows the power of silence looks every time.
Speaker 3: And one of our listeners met a gorgeous woman recently
Speaker 3: in real life without ever speaking a single word to her, too.
Speaker 1: The power of the stairs.
Speaker 3: In fact, he still has no idea what her voice
Speaker 3: actually sounds like. You never heard each other speak. We're
Speaker 3: gonna how he did it in your brand new second
Speaker 3: date up date. It's coming up next second Date up Date.
Speaker 3: You know. One of my favorite memories of all time
Speaker 3: is going on a road trip with my family once
Speaker 3: I turned twenty one, and all of us simultaneously yelled
Speaker 3: at our driver to stop when we saw the sign
Speaker 3: Jurassic bar.
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, not vigil But you were with your
Speaker 1: momy what.
Speaker 3: The whole family, mom, dad, and the sister. And it
Speaker 3: was just a regular bar, but with a dinosaur themed night. Okay,
Speaker 3: And so if you went in, you got a dollar
Speaker 3: off your draft if you roared like a dinosaur.
Speaker 1: Oh that's good.
Speaker 3: And I don't know how many drinks my mom had
Speaker 3: that night. And again we had a private chauffeur, so
Speaker 3: it didn't matter.
Speaker 1: Oh, I thought you meant like when you said driver
Speaker 1: like uber no, no, no, no, no, he's our drive, so
Speaker 1: your driver. I see.
Speaker 3: And I'm sure our listeners have also had a lot
Speaker 3: of fun memories of and themed nights at different pubs
Speaker 3: around the country, and today a guy named Read sent
Speaker 3: us an email saying he believes he met the girl
Speaker 3: of his dreams recently themed bar night.
Speaker 1: I love when you relate to the regular people.
Speaker 2: Unfortunately, no butlers in my life. Okay, there's a siren
Speaker 2: in my life.
Speaker 1: Oh I've been to one of those theme bars where
Speaker 1: it's like er have you have you seen so honestly,
Speaker 1: and they would give you shots in uh syringes.
Speaker 3: Yeah, when you gave birth to your children, I know
Speaker 3: you had a lot of drugs pumping through. That wasn't
Speaker 3: a bar d Sorry about that. Read. Let's get to
Speaker 3: you and and your your date. Where did you go?
Speaker 3: What was this themed bar night?
Speaker 12: It was very fun, very cool A note bad thing night?
Speaker 12: Have you heard of one of these?
Speaker 3: Middle school Lexus has officially checked out our ready.
Speaker 1: Though you can change my mind?
Speaker 3: Can you explain how does how does it work?
Speaker 12: So the way it actually works? When you go in
Speaker 12: there's different tables set up.
Speaker 2: So what you can do is while you're there, you
Speaker 2: look around the tables and if you see someone that
Speaker 2: you might be interested, you can anonymously send them a
Speaker 2: note from your table.
Speaker 1: It's like, is it like a singles event? I didn't valatage?
Speaker 5: So Cupid is the one who passed your notes between you?
Speaker 1: So addresses Cupid? But if you don't ever know who
Speaker 1: the note's from, how do you meet the person to.
Speaker 5: Sign your name or not?
Speaker 3: So? How did it go for you? Read?
Speaker 12: It ended up going really well.
Speaker 2: I've really kind of been in this habit of really
Speaker 2: only meeting through the apps, and I wanted to actually
Speaker 2: meet in person, and it seemed like a fun way
Speaker 2: to transition into that.
Speaker 1: Can I ask you read during the event, how many
Speaker 1: notes did you pass about other people? Like to how
Speaker 1: many women were you not passing too?
Speaker 11: So?
Speaker 12: What ended up happening? Early on? I saw one girl
Speaker 12: who was rather attractive and I was rather interested.
Speaker 3: Is this the girl that we're talking about for your
Speaker 3: second date? Updated? Her name?
Speaker 12: It is Tina.
Speaker 3: Tina, What did you write to her? Yeah?
Speaker 12: Actually, you know what I put in the first one?
Speaker 1: What did you say you write?
Speaker 3: I put down in.
Speaker 12: Two minutes, I'll walk past your table and I hope
Speaker 12: to see that beautiful smile again.
Speaker 3: And then I had to lay.
Speaker 2: At dot and I said, I already did that four times?
Speaker 3: Oh Joe, okay, hope.
Speaker 4: Was she got it? Because different did?
Speaker 12: Did?
Speaker 1: She write back and said, Oh, you're the weird guy
Speaker 1: that keeps walking past me.
Speaker 12: She liked it, and she wrote back and then we
Speaker 12: ended up passing the notes all night.
Speaker 1: Oh, just you and her?
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then the last one had her phone number
Speaker 2: on it.
Speaker 5: It silent in this bar question.
Speaker 1: Paper.
Speaker 12: Yeah, you can't actually because it's people come in groups,
Speaker 12: so she was actually was in a group.
Speaker 1: Chatting with friends, less awkward than.
Speaker 3: So at any point, do you go over and like
Speaker 3: actually speak to her with your voice? Is it all passing?
Speaker 12: Here's the thing you could? But that night we didn't.
Speaker 6: Uh.
Speaker 2: I think we were just kind of enjoying the fun
Speaker 2: of the theme. And when she gave me her number,
Speaker 2: I ended up texting. And we've been texting for a
Speaker 2: couple of weeks at this point, and we still we
Speaker 2: still haven't actually spoke.
Speaker 1: What you have no idea? What her voice sounds.
Speaker 12: Like, No, I have no idea.
Speaker 3: Okay, this is it and we don't have a whole
Speaker 3: lot to go off of. Then I guess what we
Speaker 3: need to do is hear some of the texts that
Speaker 3: you guys have sent back and forth. That's a good idea,
Speaker 3: Like how flirty they are? You need that? I think
Speaker 3: you give us a good idea of what we're working
Speaker 3: with here with Tina.
Speaker 12: Here, let me find a good one. Okay, I said,
Speaker 12: when can I see you again? Pick a day that ends?
Speaker 12: And why that's cute?
Speaker 4: It's so corny.
Speaker 3: What alexis math?
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're selling the math on that one.
Speaker 3: Maybe Tina's just like Alexis and couldn't figure out a day.
Speaker 5: Well I thought it was only week days and I
Speaker 5: was like, that sucks all right.
Speaker 2: Well, okay, she just sent the lappy face.
Speaker 1: They was supposed to set a day.
Speaker 3: Well, here's the thing, is, like you're obviously laying it
Speaker 3: on pretty thick with her right away through all the
Speaker 3: messages and texts. You're saying like she has a beautiful smile,
Speaker 3: you can't wait to see her again. But a lot
Speaker 3: of times with girls, if you lay it on that thick,
Speaker 3: if there's no chase, they lose interest.
Speaker 4: Absolutely.
Speaker 1: I mean that is a thing. You can be too available.
Speaker 3: So we have enough, I think to work with here.
Speaker 3: You are showing a lot of your cards early on.
Speaker 3: But maybe we can figure out more when we call
Speaker 3: her directly and you'll get to hear her voice for
Speaker 3: the very first time. Well, who knows, maybe that would
Speaker 3: be a turn on for you. We're gonna find out
Speaker 3: when we come back. We're gonna call Tina and try
Speaker 3: and get your second date update right after this second
Speaker 3: date update on the phone with us today is a
Speaker 3: man who is good with his words, at least on paper.
Speaker 1: Yep, for sure.
Speaker 3: Ironically, his name is read Oh Jee's just so perfect
Speaker 3: for this.
Speaker 1: No, that's his brother.
Speaker 3: I'm playing the notebook music right now because his first
Speaker 3: meeting with a girl named Tina involved an actual notebook.
Speaker 1: It's actually a pretty cute meet.
Speaker 3: Cute because they were both at a themed bar night
Speaker 3: where you could write letters to people at other tables
Speaker 3: and pass notes back and forth, and that's how we
Speaker 3: ended up getting Tina's number. They have been texting ever since.
Speaker 3: He just hasn't locked down an official date yet.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like maybe he's too eager as kind of what
Speaker 1: we were that baby, thank you.
Speaker 3: Baby picking up on. There's also the tiny problem of
Speaker 3: the fact that they've never actually spoken words with their
Speaker 3: voices yet.
Speaker 4: To each other.
Speaker 1: Small issues, Jeff, that's what texting's for.
Speaker 4: Yeah, him going to hear her voice for the first time.
Speaker 3: So we've heard some of the texts, but I do
Speaker 3: want to get to the last text that she sent
Speaker 3: because we never were able to get to it. Read
Speaker 3: can you read us the final test X that you
Speaker 3: sent that she never responded to.
Speaker 12: I said, I miss you like stormtroopers missed their targets.
Speaker 3: Because they're not they're like notoriously bad.
Speaker 1: Yeah, anyone Star Wars.
Speaker 3: Okay, I got it.
Speaker 1: No, I got it. But I would be freaked out
Speaker 1: a little bit if someone said I miss you when
Speaker 1: I haven't spent any time in person with that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And just like you know, going over what we
Speaker 3: were saying before, you've already kind of put all of
Speaker 3: your cards down on the table for her.
Speaker 1: It's like you flip them, then flip them again. We're
Speaker 1: gonna try to hide.
Speaker 3: Some maybe we try and be a little more coy
Speaker 3: when we're actually speaking with Yeah.
Speaker 12: Okay, okay, maybe it was a little much. I thought
Speaker 12: it was fun, but maybe you guys can help balance
Speaker 12: me out.
Speaker 1: That's all right.
Speaker 3: It is fun.
Speaker 4: Two people get there together.
Speaker 1: It's sweet. You seem like a sweet dude like you do.
Speaker 3: We're all here for you. Oh actually, I'm going to
Speaker 3: be making the call, so never mind, shut up. I'm
Speaker 3: going a dal Tina. Right now we get to hear
Speaker 3: her voice for the very first time. Here we go. Hello, Hi,
Speaker 3: is this Tina?
Speaker 15: This is Tina?
Speaker 4: Who is this Tina?
Speaker 3: You're You're on the radio right now with a show
Speaker 3: called Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 15: I'm not interested.
Speaker 1: Thanks, it's not a spam called Tina.
Speaker 4: No, it's a legit.
Speaker 3: We're doing a segment called a Second Date Update, and
Speaker 3: we're trying to help out one of our listeners that
Speaker 3: you've met before sort of.
Speaker 15: Oh my gosh, i've heard this before for real.
Speaker 1: Yeah, isn't that fun?
Speaker 3: Okay, So, I don't know if you remember this, but
Speaker 3: the other night you met a guy at a note
Speaker 3: passing bar thing.
Speaker 1: I think it was a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 3: In fact, yeah, it may have been a while ago.
Speaker 3: His name is Reedy.
Speaker 15: Ah, yeah, yeah, I know read.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, cool.
Speaker 1: What do you think he was nice?
Speaker 15: He was cute, texted a little bit nice.
Speaker 12: Yeah yeah, it was.
Speaker 15: Like fun and I haven't met him or anything.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we heard that. We've heard a little bit about
Speaker 3: the barnet. What was the barnight like for you?
Speaker 15: I hadn't done anything like that before, but I ended up,
Speaker 15: i think, exchanging numbers with like three guys.
Speaker 3: Oh oh you were popular.
Speaker 15: Yeah, it was more successful than I thought it was
Speaker 15: going to be.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you've been you've been texting with a couple
Speaker 1: of guys from the thing.
Speaker 15: Yeah, I actually ended up going out with one of
Speaker 15: them like last week.
Speaker 1: Oh it is cheat.
Speaker 3: Okay, that's totally fine. But has Read been in your
Speaker 3: mind at all?
Speaker 1: Radar?
Speaker 15: I mean, like I said, we were like text on
Speaker 15: and off throughout the week, and he's like cute, he's funny,
Speaker 15: kind of flirty, he's always a really jokey over text.
Speaker 15: But the thing is he just hasn't actually asked me
Speaker 15: out yet. Like, so you've been.
Speaker 3: Waiting for me to like make the move and he
Speaker 3: hasn't gone for it.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 15: I just don't have time to like a text buddy
Speaker 15: or pentel like, do you want to bring me out
Speaker 15: or not?
Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's a great question.
Speaker 3: Well before I tell you what I have to say here,
Speaker 3: where's your relationship with the other guy at that you've
Speaker 3: been out with one time?
Speaker 15: I mean, it's just kind of that, like it was
Speaker 15: a good date. He was too, he was nice, we
Speaker 15: had like a little bit in common.
Speaker 1: But it sounds dinner.
Speaker 15: So I called him, I'm down to go out again
Speaker 15: next week. But it wasn't like, oh my god, it's.
Speaker 3: Just like, but you're not exclusive with that guy?
Speaker 9: Right?
Speaker 6: No?
Speaker 15: Oh my god, that would be crazy.
Speaker 3: I'm really glad that you said that. And you know
Speaker 3: who's extra happy to hear it is Read because he's
Speaker 3: been on the other line listening.
Speaker 4: This entire time.
Speaker 15: My god, I'm so worried.
Speaker 3: You're Red has been wanting to talk to you.
Speaker 12: Are you there, I'm here, I'm here, all right?
Speaker 4: What good news?
Speaker 16: Read?
Speaker 3: Say hi to Tina for the very first time your voice?
Speaker 12: Oh yeah yeah?
Speaker 3: How about uh?
Speaker 12: Tina? Hands up. I'm in the s c I and
Speaker 12: you're on my most wanted list.
Speaker 4: You're just talking?
Speaker 3: Are you not listening to what she was saying before.
Speaker 1: About I think you got nervous.
Speaker 12: I'm just having a little fun. I'm just fun.
Speaker 3: I understand.
Speaker 1: Maybe let's turn it off.
Speaker 12: All I'm saying is that when it comes to Christmas
Speaker 12: and Sanna asked me what I want Tina, I'm sending
Speaker 12: him a link to.
Speaker 11: Your I G.
Speaker 4: It's pretty cringe, man, it's not.
Speaker 12: It's not Craine. It's just because she reminds me of someone.
Speaker 4: He's got something wrong.
Speaker 2: I don't know if I like that does remind you
Speaker 2: of my next girlfriend?
Speaker 3: My great man, it kind of implies you have a
Speaker 3: current girlfriend too.
Speaker 4: I know, dissect it. Okay, let's just move on.
Speaker 1: Are you trying to just make these guys laugh? Or
Speaker 1: are you trying to turn a woman on? You can't
Speaker 1: do both, you.
Speaker 12: Got I'm just flirting with her. We haven't actually talked yet.
Speaker 12: I'm just I'm just getting started. I'm just building up.
Speaker 1: Do you have like a normal conversation questions.
Speaker 3: I don't know how Tina's feeling about this read.
Speaker 8: Honestly, I feel like.
Speaker 15: I just like I dare you read to just say
Speaker 15: something that wasn't scripted?
Speaker 3: Maybe just even ask her out, just straight up? Ye like,
Speaker 3: that's a crazy idea. I know.
Speaker 1: I mean, she teed you up better than I've ever
Speaker 1: heard any She's begging for you.
Speaker 4: To ask her out.
Speaker 3: Go ahead, read, now's your moment.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, I'm just wondering if maybe Tina would you want.
Speaker 12: To be my little stoon little I'm gonna take her
Speaker 12: out for soup?
Speaker 4: Soup soup? No, no, no.
Speaker 8: Happening. Why is that a joke?
Speaker 4: A joke? I don't know it.
Speaker 3: It's like something my grandfather would really love, like.
Speaker 4: O soup and you're like, Grandma, do you really want soup?
Speaker 4: But no one knows.
Speaker 15: Dude, Like there's someone out there who's gonna love this,
Speaker 15: but it's not me.
Speaker 1: Well no, no, no, I think he was trying to
Speaker 1: ask you out right there.
Speaker 3: If he's not gonna do it, I'm just gonna do
Speaker 3: it for him, because you want the two of you
Speaker 3: to go out on a date in person, and we
Speaker 3: would pay for the date. Tina.
Speaker 12: Hey man, he kind of that's what I was building
Speaker 12: up to. I was just gonna ask her that.
Speaker 15: Stop.
Speaker 3: Well, we can't wait like forty minutes for you to
Speaker 3: get every line out. We need to get to it. Yeah,
Speaker 3: we don't have a lot of time, so go ahead
Speaker 3: ask her yourself.
Speaker 2: Okay, no line, you're single, I'm single. I feel like
Speaker 2: this is a problem we can solve together.
Speaker 3: I never trusted this guy.
Speaker 15: I feel like I'm gonna fight fire with fire, and
Speaker 15: I'm gonna say unfortunately at this point, I'm gonna make
Speaker 15: like a tree and leave.
Speaker 1: We should like now she's speaking reads language.
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 12: But we're perfect for each other though.
Speaker 2: How she's funny, I'm funny.
Speaker 12: We have similar humor.
Speaker 15: I think sat mis reading that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, read, you gotta work on being more direct with
Speaker 3: these women that you.
Speaker 1: Like and just be yourself for a second. You don't
Speaker 1: need all these lines read you're you're a charming guy.
Speaker 12: Man's that is myself. That's what I'm like.
Speaker 3: Okay, well, well maybe leave yourself on the side of
Speaker 3: the road.
Speaker 6: Yeah, brooking Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 3: You know what, this is his faults on that one.
Speaker 3: You think we can't take the blame for what happens
Speaker 3: because does.
Speaker 1: He memorized them all?
Speaker 3: I don't know where he has those from his hand.
Speaker 3: But there is a window after you meet someone when
Speaker 3: you really need to ask them out, Like you only
Speaker 3: have a certain amount of time, and not only did
Speaker 3: he miss his window, she opened up another window for
Speaker 3: him and he missed that one.
Speaker 1: Too, and she screamed through the window, this is the window.
Speaker 4: I will say yes to your question.
Speaker 3: So gentlemen, make sure to find your window and jump
Speaker 3: through it, even if it's twenty stories up. Some women
Speaker 3: are just worth it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, funny is good, but not funny every single thing,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: Solve the mystery. Finally, maybe we could solve your mystery.
Speaker 3: If you need help with your dating life, email the show.
Speaker 3: We'll call that person who's not calling you back, and
Speaker 3: make sure you go listen to all of our podcasts
Speaker 3: wherever you get yours. They're up at Brook and.
Speaker 6: Jeffrey Brooking, Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 3: Yoga with goats, swimming with dolphins, root canals with medically
Speaker 3: trained hamsters. Oh yeah, proof that when you take any
Speaker 3: activity and just add cute animals, it instantly becomes a
Speaker 3: hundred times better.
Speaker 6: Drill.
Speaker 3: That's why I've been begging management here to let me
Speaker 3: bring kittens in every Friday. While I sing.
Speaker 4: I would not pay attention, they say no.
Speaker 3: They came back with a firm and resounding absolutely not.
Speaker 3: But I think we can compromise if you all take
Speaker 3: out a sharpie and draw some whiskers on your faces
Speaker 3: and throw on some cattiers and you maybe play around
Speaker 3: with tiny balls of yarn on the table. This could
Speaker 3: be my cutest song of the week ever. I feel like.
Speaker 1: We're like the old cats that don't.
Speaker 4: We're gonna try it.
Speaker 3: Brand new song of the week, cute editions. It's coming
Speaker 3: up right after this. It's song of the week time.
Speaker 3: It's breaking Jeffrey in the morning, and I don't know
Speaker 3: where you guys are in the country necessarily, but it's
Speaker 3: finally warming up around here. Yeah, and we should definitely
Speaker 3: be happy about that. But with the positives also comes
Speaker 3: the hidden, invisible stealthlike little sneakers creeping up your back shoulder.
Speaker 3: Don't look now, it's your seasonal allergies. We're talking puffy eyes,
Speaker 3: scratchy throats, giant welts all over your privates.
Speaker 4: Wait a minute, I don't an issue.
Speaker 3: Do you guys not get that during the springtime? Oh weird?
Speaker 3: But for millions of Americans it is officially allergy season,
Speaker 3: and it makes it almost impossible to enjoy any activities
Speaker 3: outside the house or even inside the house.
Speaker 1: Honestly, I feel you mean, without your husband whining about
Speaker 1: it totally. I mean, he is the biggest baby right now.
Speaker 1: Well he's a baby, he has allergies.
Speaker 3: Well, I feel for him, and I think a lot
Speaker 3: of other people can identify with that type of suffering.
Speaker 3: You got to take one sip of whiskey, then one
Speaker 3: puff of flois, one simple whisky, one puff of flow.
Speaker 1: That's what I've been giving my daughter this whole time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and right now, my favorite springtime fashion accessory is
Speaker 3: a fanny pack full of any histamine. Yeah. Now, I'm
Speaker 3: here to say nature doesn't hate you all year. It's
Speaker 3: just right now.
Speaker 4: Yeah. The flowers are.
Speaker 3: Just they're coming after you. Yeah, and you just have
Speaker 3: to deal with it. But the good news is you're
Speaker 3: not alone. We're all in this together. That's why instead
Speaker 3: of singing Beyonce's new country single, Yes Texas, Hold Them Love,
Speaker 3: it's Young Jeffreyes Kleenex blow them right. All right, I'm
Speaker 3: gonna try and clear my sinuses and then I'll point
Speaker 3: when i'm ready points. We got two lips freaking crocus
Speaker 3: spreading palling around my town. These floral blast sins if
Speaker 3: up to me bro I'd mow them all down, down, down, down.
Speaker 13: Because my age has got me a feeling blooming real
Speaker 13: weird faces while I say my eyes on that.
Speaker 3: You're looking better than a blood house old. Here comes
Speaker 3: twenty seasons in a row, now.
Speaker 13: Like a blowhold from free wheeling from free wheel you'll
Speaker 13: need a pun show you you stand near me, the
Speaker 13: coming weases their least five in the life.
Speaker 3: It feels like family double and slider.
Speaker 4: Woo fas step.
Speaker 13: Outside, my face stops swelling like Rocky after every fight.
Speaker 13: Woo who and nothing I do have. Put creamers in
Speaker 13: your coffee. I need better drilling mid got your clean
Speaker 13: eggs and just blow them reds raw as a pounder
Speaker 13: ground round. Been poppin' sir taks, we lock pleasures menuts
Speaker 13: so much flam I almost drowned, and my sinus sy
Speaker 13: being called up to my breast sound like a dark
Speaker 13: fader suit.
Speaker 4: It's a real baby problem.
Speaker 13: I'd never be the bachelor of Roe ceremony, being allergy disaster.
Speaker 13: Hepper felt is in every route more raw honey than
Speaker 13: awaiting the boot outdoor wedding I attended really weds Ragweed
Speaker 13: Paulin got me sneezing through the whole bow.
Speaker 17: Do you, Jessica, take this man to be your lovely
Speaker 17: wet having to hold from this day forward in the
Speaker 17: sickness that if anyone has a reason, this couple should
Speaker 17: not be wedding me.
Speaker 6: Now.
Speaker 3: I know you're the best man, but maybe should just
Speaker 3: go sit in the car.
Speaker 13: Had the first day where a basco my sin up
Speaker 13: her plate with most bascos.
Speaker 3: I'm trying to hold it burn lost the battle man.
Speaker 3: I just wish we weren't.
Speaker 4: Kissing when it happened.
Speaker 13: Woooooooooo on seeing their lines, sat down in the middle seat, just.
Speaker 3: Hacking the whole time.
Speaker 13: Wooo who I ruined yoga class because dirty downward.
Speaker 3: Dog laid out of two side sonic glasses.
Speaker 13: Ain't in fancious woo, ain't no COVID.
Speaker 3: So everyone calm down, Down down, I'll.
Speaker 13: Jump in Brad sliz around baby breadcasts that tiny blue
Speaker 13: straight knocks me out in the line of country by
Speaker 13: faith or fool. This he's got really in no match
Speaker 13: for you.
Speaker 4: Keep raining down.
Speaker 3: Book is like a bunch of mortor shell rams.
Speaker 4: Manager said, go shut the solid car.
Speaker 1: Scream town comes now it ain't no blue my.
Speaker 3: Nose flash like an oven hyder.
Speaker 13: Need a class bubble if I ever want to go
Speaker 13: run away.
Speaker 3: Screaming if I see a daffadil sprout, woo.
Speaker 1: It's so disgusting.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh my god, sorry for you. Guys are in
Speaker 3: the splash zone for that.
Speaker 1: Honestly, as if your mic guard didn't need to be
Speaker 1: replaced already. There was a lot of liquid coming out
Speaker 1: of your mouth on that one.
Speaker 3: That's nature doing. That's not my fault.
Speaker 1: I feel guilty. I wore a flowered jacket.
Speaker 3: It's making me itchy just looking at it.
Speaker 4: It was like literally almost sneeze halfway through the song. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I was like, do I have allergies by listening to.
Speaker 3: This curious text? In sevent a five nine too? If
Speaker 3: it feels like Paul in season has just punched you
Speaker 3: right in the face. All we're gonna post the video
Speaker 3: up on all of our socials at Brook and Jeffrey
Speaker 3: on our TikTok, insta, Facebook YouTube, all of it with
Speaker 3: the lyrics there good luck with your allergies. We're gonna
Speaker 3: keep our distance from each other. Yes, that's a song
Speaker 3: of the week.
Speaker 6: Frooking Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 3: I got a text seventy eight five nine two that says,
Speaker 3: even though allergy season sucks, it's the only time I
Speaker 3: can address my wife is he not face and she
Speaker 3: can't get mad. So I kind of like it look
Speaker 3: at the upsides of allergies. But if you missed it,
Speaker 3: instead of singing the song Texas, hold Them by Beyonce,
Speaker 3: my own version called Kleenex, blow them because we're in
Speaker 3: the throes of allergy season and the flow naise is
Speaker 3: a flowing. Oh yeah, millions of people have to deal
Speaker 3: with it every year. And I know that because we've
Speaker 3: had a bunch of texts coming into seven eighty five
Speaker 3: nine two with people that can relate. Brook, what are
Speaker 3: you seeing this?
Speaker 1: And says, Oh my god, I had a job interview
Speaker 1: yesterday and my eyes were so red they must have
Speaker 1: fought I hot box my car. Oh that's not true.
Speaker 1: I just had allergies and I was really hungover from
Speaker 1: the night before.
Speaker 3: The method just worn off too, so it wasn't that either.
Speaker 8: YEA making me flow up too.
Speaker 3: If you missed it, though, if you want to hear
Speaker 3: it again, we're gonna put it up at the Brook
Speaker 3: and Jeffery YouTube page on Facebook, Instagram, and on TikTok,
Speaker 3: go follow and subscribe.
Speaker 6: Brooking Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 3: Got a brand new player, Danny, who was very excited
Speaker 3: to be here. She is a hula dancer, or at
Speaker 3: least she used to be. Has taken a very long
Speaker 3: break from it thirty years, did it when she was younger,
Speaker 3: but now is getting back into it because she just
Speaker 3: loves Hawaii. So Brooke, good luck beating a woman with
Speaker 3: hips that move like the ocean. That's all I have
Speaker 3: to say, Enny, Danny, welcome to the show.
Speaker 15: Hello.
Speaker 1: Are you taking lessons again? Are you just performing on
Speaker 1: your own? What are you doing?
Speaker 9: I'm taking lessons again, yeah, and we do have a
Speaker 9: performance coming up in July, so I'm super excited.
Speaker 4: Are you in Hawaii because I'm going there soon. I
Speaker 4: would love a free lesson.
Speaker 6: No, I'm not in Hawaii.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay.
Speaker 4: Next question, do you have a coconut?
Speaker 3: But I can borrow?
Speaker 15: That's not we don't wear those.
Speaker 1: Let's go.
Speaker 3: I like girl that there was excited to play. Now
Speaker 3: jose is excited to play. Brook is walking out of
Speaker 3: the room with her stuff. Intact, Danny know how the
Speaker 3: game works. He got thirty seconds to answer as many
Speaker 3: questions as possible. If you don't know when, you could
Speaker 3: say pass. But you do have to beat brook outright
Speaker 3: if you want to win. Are you ready?
Speaker 9: I'm ready?
Speaker 3: Good luck? Your time starts now. Today is World's Garlic Day.
Speaker 3: Which country produces two thirds of the world's garlic? Is
Speaker 3: it Italy, the US or China Italy? How many times
Speaker 3: has Kim Kardashian been married? What ceial brand has a
Speaker 3: mascot named Chip the Wolf? The Curse of the Bambino
Speaker 3: affected what baseball team? Negatively? What country's cuisine gave us
Speaker 3: Bill Gogi and kim chi career? Tommy Lee was famous
Speaker 3: for dating and Pamela Anderson and also playing what instrument
Speaker 3: in the band Motley Crew? The Alright, Danny played like
Speaker 3: a true veteran. There those questions will die now. I'm wondering,
Speaker 3: do you have a favorite part of our show other
Speaker 3: than Brooks triviah I do?
Speaker 9: I love the second date update?
Speaker 7: Ye?
Speaker 12: No?
Speaker 3: Try again?
Speaker 4: Does do that answer?
Speaker 1: Are you single?
Speaker 12: Danny? Are you?
Speaker 4: Until she says song of the week, She's just what
Speaker 4: I like?
Speaker 1: That's not true.
Speaker 9: No, I'm married, but my my teenager and I listened
Speaker 9: to you every morning on the way to school, and
Speaker 9: we just think it's hilarious.
Speaker 4: And you're teaching them what not to do in the
Speaker 4: dating world.
Speaker 3: That's actually pretty smart. Yeah, Brook, your turn? Are you
Speaker 3: ready got No?
Speaker 1: I almost knocked my mic out of anyway? Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I am Today it keeps falling out.
Speaker 3: He's trying to get away from you.
Speaker 1: Probably God, I'm sick of this lady. She keeps talking
Speaker 1: at me.
Speaker 3: Here we go. Your time starts now. Today is World's
Speaker 3: Garlic Day. Which country produces two thirds of the world's garlic?
Speaker 3: Is it Italy, the US or China?
Speaker 1: China?
Speaker 3: How many times has Kim Kardashian been married?
Speaker 1: Three?
Speaker 3: What cereal brand had a mascot named Chip the Wolf?
Speaker 3: I don't know the Curse of the Bambino acted. What
Speaker 3: baseball team.
Speaker 1: Negatively Boston Red Sox.
Speaker 3: What country's cuisine gave us bill Gogi and kim chi?
Speaker 14: Hmmm?
Speaker 1: Korean?
Speaker 3: Tommy Lee was famous for dating Pamela Anderson and also
Speaker 3: for playing what instrument the band.
Speaker 1: Motley Crue had drums?
Speaker 3: All right, great game today, Let's head on over to
Speaker 3: the scoreboard to see how you boll did with Jose.
Speaker 3: You are a smelly pirate Hooker.
Speaker 4: Whoa, that's such a good scene. Danny, you got too
Speaker 4: koram for a good game. And rock yep on a
Speaker 4: roll got five.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, Rook was on fire today. Sorry about that, Danny.
Speaker 3: Let's go over the answers for everybody. It's World's Garlic Day.
Speaker 3: The country that makes two thirds of the world's garlic
Speaker 3: is China. Wow, Italy seventy three point eight percent of
Speaker 3: the world's garlic comes from there. Kim Kardashian has been
Speaker 3: married three times, to Chris Humphries, Kanye West, and Damon Thomas.
Speaker 1: He was the first.
Speaker 3: He was the first as he's a music producer. The
Speaker 3: cereal brand that had a mascot named Chip the Wolf
Speaker 3: was Cookie Crispy.
Speaker 12: Great.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he was that little dog.
Speaker 4: I loved it.
Speaker 3: The Curse of the Mambino affected the Boston Red Sox
Speaker 3: negatively after he left their team. People thought they were
Speaker 3: cursed for years and years and years.
Speaker 4: It took him like over eighty years to win a
Speaker 4: ring after that.
Speaker 3: The country cuisine that gave us bilgogi and kimchi is Korea.
Speaker 3: And Tommy Lee dated Pamela Anderson and famously played the
Speaker 3: drums in Motley crue. Yes, so, Danny, it was not
Speaker 3: enough to beat Brooke today. Unfortunately. The good news is
Speaker 3: just we're playing. You are going to get a pair
Speaker 3: of tickets to see Kane Brown's in the Air Tour
Speaker 3: Team Mobile Park on August sixteenth. Get your tickets to
Speaker 3: see multi platinum country artist Kane Brown today at ticketmaster
Speaker 3: dot com.
Speaker 15: Thank you so much, you're well.
Speaker 1: Thank you listening.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we love you.
Speaker 6: Thank you.
Speaker 11: I'll think of you as I'm huliing. Okay, I'll yell
Speaker 11: your name on the beach. I'll say this is for you, Danny.
Speaker 1: I don't think anyone wants you to do that.
Speaker 4: On a private beach.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Hey, Danny, thanks so
Speaker 3: much for being on. Come back anytime. We'll be back
Speaker 3: to the wind Brooks Buck the same time on Monday
Speaker 6: Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.