Speaker 1: Yesterday a policeman knocked on my door and told me
Speaker 1: he was looking for a burglar with one eye. I
Speaker 1: immediately advised him to also open the other eye for
Speaker 1: more clarity.
Speaker 2: I don't believe in all of astrology, just bits and pisces.
Speaker 1: Why is it a good thing for a man to
Speaker 1: get a beer belly? Men need a father figure.
Speaker 2: I have an inferiority complex. Unfortunately it's not a very
Speaker 2: good one.
Speaker 1: Did you hear that NASA launched a bunch of cows
Speaker 1: into orbit around the Earth? It was the herd shot
Speaker 1: around the world.
Speaker 2: Where do nomads go on vacation Rome?
Speaker 1: Why don't skeletons play music in church? They don't have
Speaker 1: any organs.
Speaker 2: Our shift manager at the Pringles factory was going off
Speaker 2: on everyone today. Turns out he had a real chip
Speaker 2: on his shoulder.
Speaker 1: How can you tell that a pepper is angry? It
Speaker 1: gets HOLOPENO face?
Speaker 2: Why do Dennis decorate with novacane? It's an esthetic?
Speaker 1: Not everyone can play golf the way I do. It
Speaker 1: takes a lot of balls. More Dad humor will waits.
Speaker 1: Right after this short break, a.
Speaker 2: Blonde was taking the tour of a national park. Not
Speaker 2: long ago. The ranger mentioned to the tour group that
Speaker 2: dinosaur fossils had been found in the area. The blonde exclaimed, Wow,
Speaker 2: I can't believe the dinosaurs would come this close to
Speaker 2: the highway.
Speaker 1: What's an astronaut's favorite part of a computer the space bar?
Speaker 2: How do clown students know what to study? They have
Speaker 2: a silly bus?
Speaker 1: Why do loose grapes always taste bitter? Their devine.
Speaker 2: Centaurs may have two ribs cages but only one center
Speaker 2: of gravity.
Speaker 1: What did thee when he jumped out of the utility
Speaker 1: closet supplies?
Speaker 2: I'm Bob Jeffy.
Speaker 1: And I'm Montgomery Jones.
Speaker 2: There's a bonus Dad joke waiting for you at the
Speaker 2: end of the episode. Let's spread some happiness or pain
Speaker 2: with these jokes. Wishing you a great day, and I'll
Speaker 2: be back with more jokes tomorrow. Thank you for tuning in.
Speaker 2: Want the perfect Dad gift? We have the official Daily
Speaker 2: Dad Jokes Joke button, now available on Amazon, a massive
Speaker 2: five hundred preloaded Dad jokes guaranteed to make you laugh
Speaker 2: and grown and for our loyal fans. Use the checkout
Speaker 2: discount code Dad Jokes to receive twenty five percent off
Speaker 2: the regular listing price. Check the show notes page for
Speaker 2: the link. The Daily Dad Jokes podcast is produced by
Speaker 2: Classic Studios. See the show notes page for social media
Speaker 2: links and joke credits. This show was recorded in front
Speaker 2: of a canned studio audience. My wife said that if
Speaker 2: I didn't stop making jokes about luggage, that she was
Speaker 2: going to kick me out of the house, change the locks,
Speaker 2: send the kids to live with her parents, and she
Speaker 2: was going back to school. So I said, that's a
Speaker 2: lot to unpack.