Speaker 1: You don't know me our confession.
Speaker 2: I can't take back o arms.
Speaker 3: Little Mouse Speak, Texas, seventy five nine two says I've
Speaker 3: always loved the smell of burnt matches to this day.
Speaker 3: All by packs of the extra long ones and light
Speaker 3: them at random times just to have a good sis.
Speaker 2: Okay, such a soul for right, buddy.
Speaker 3: Some people get their comfort from huffing match fumes randomly, okay.
Speaker 3: Others get comfort from listening to our show hearing about
Speaker 3: other people in their strange lives. Yes, however you want
Speaker 3: to get through the day, you do it that way.
Speaker 3: And one of our listeners wants to come clean and
Speaker 3: maybe make one of our strangers out there feel a
Speaker 3: little better about themselves. She's chosen to go by Jesse today.
Speaker 3: So Jesse, welcome to the show.
Speaker 1: Allai, thank you.
Speaker 2: What do you sniff for comfort? Jesse?
Speaker 3: Just some lighted candles for Jesse, I'm sure does the trick.
Speaker 3: But Jesse, the voice changer is on. You are the
Speaker 3: mass speaker. Whenever you're ready, we want to hear your confession.
Speaker 1: Okay. So when I was in college, I was in
Speaker 1: like a calm class and there was this guy in
Speaker 1: my class who was like just like absurdly good looking,
Speaker 1: just like super cute.
Speaker 3: Right, I did take a lot of com class. I knew,
Speaker 3: I recognized. I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1: You might not want to claim to be the.
Speaker 2: Huge classes where it's like two hundred people.
Speaker 1: No, I wasn't a huge class. It was like medium
Speaker 1: sized class.
Speaker 3: Okay, we said, I might not want to claim to
Speaker 3: be the guy you might not.
Speaker 2: I miss that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe it was a different good looking guy.
Speaker 1: But so I'm like working all my moves. You know,
Speaker 1: I start like trying to sit near him, you like
Speaker 1: make little chokes during class.
Speaker 2: Is that girl moves?
Speaker 1: Is I never even heard a girl strategized.
Speaker 2: You just sit? Yeah, for sure, you have the lecture.
Speaker 1: You can time it when someone gets you.
Speaker 2: Got to you got to watch when he walks in,
Speaker 2: so you're walking in at the same time.
Speaker 3: There was a strategy off underneath your shirt in the
Speaker 3: middle of class, get.
Speaker 2: On or like me, just doesn't show up with one.
Speaker 1: That's true.
Speaker 3: You know a lot of tricks.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you guys don't know that girls have moved because
Speaker 1: our moves are so smooth.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're just smarter than we are. We don't get it.
Speaker 1: So we like kind of become friends and then we've
Speaker 1: got a test coming up, and I'm like perfect. So
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, yeah, would you want to study together?
Speaker 2: Suddenly he's so smart and you need his help, dumb.
Speaker 1: He's like, yeah, that sounds great. Yeah, let's hang out,
Speaker 1: Like all right, awesome, he's a cab at my place.
Speaker 2: Okay, So I'm perfect, dude, I am so excited for
Speaker 2: your college self right now.
Speaker 3: You don't even ask how far do you live?
Speaker 2: Just doesn't matter.
Speaker 3: He doesn't plan on studying, so quote unquote study sessh
Speaker 3: happening over at his place? How does that go?
Speaker 2: So?
Speaker 1: I put on something that looks like accidentally sexy.
Speaker 2: Absolutely.
Speaker 3: Get into how a girl at this?
Speaker 2: You don't want to show up looking like you tried
Speaker 2: too hard. You need to show up looking like you
Speaker 2: didn't care, but you really do care.
Speaker 3: So how does it go?
Speaker 1: So it's going pretty well. We're like studying. He got
Speaker 1: us a frozen pizza, which like for college is like wow,
Speaker 1: you's got ahead, you know. So we're like going over
Speaker 1: our notes we're studying, and the oven beeps because.
Speaker 2: The pizza is done.
Speaker 1: So he like looks at me and he goes, okay,
Speaker 1: this is the worst part. And I'm like, what what?
Speaker 1: So I don't know what's happening, but I'm like, all right.
Speaker 1: So he goes into the kitchen. He opens the oven
Speaker 1: and he does not put on ovens. He reaches in
Speaker 1: bare hands. He grabs the pan like the metal hand
Speaker 1: like screaming. He's like and like goes it onto the counter.
Speaker 1: And I'm looking at him.
Speaker 2: Like, why is run with you a towel?
Speaker 1: Wait? But he's like, I know cooking is the worst.
Speaker 2: His parents failed him.
Speaker 3: He didn't know that there was, my God, something invented
Speaker 3: to help him in this.
Speaker 2: Why do I feel like this is something Jeffrey would
Speaker 2: have done?
Speaker 3: He's no, I never would have made my own pizza.
Speaker 2: Terrible hands blizzard and.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm sure his hands are blistered all the time.
Speaker 1: I was like, hey, you should use like a towel
Speaker 1: or something. He doesn't say that, he's.
Speaker 3: He brings up a good point, though, they really should
Speaker 3: put that on the box somewhere. If they're stuttying with
Speaker 3: this guy, you definitely failed that test.
Speaker 2: Why do I like this is the worth time he's
Speaker 2: taken that calm, except I.
Speaker 1: Think he's one of the people who's so good looking
Speaker 1: that he just like skates through life never having to
Speaker 1: learn anything.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, I don't know.
Speaker 3: Guys can only get so far with that.
Speaker 1: He got to college, burning his hands every time.
Speaker 2: Sure you're both accepted it to the same school.
Speaker 3: About your years on his hands filling.
Speaker 1: Out the oplication?
Speaker 3: Was it awkward? Every time you saw him?
Speaker 2: After that?
Speaker 1: He was so awkward. I didn't want to date him
Speaker 1: because he's an idiot. You guys still made out.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's college. Who didn't date idiots? Then we
Speaker 2: didn't kiss.
Speaker 1: Him, No, no, I couldn't.
Speaker 3: Oh it was that bad.
Speaker 2: He's probably putting his hands in her cold water. Imagine
Speaker 2: grab my face with that, with the rawskin blister just
Speaker 2: popped on your.
Speaker 1: Okay, So anyway, I'm starting knowing his text. Okay, A
Speaker 1: few weeks later, I hear people whispering about me and
Speaker 1: calling me pizza girl.
Speaker 2: What calling you pizza about you or something?
Speaker 1: Yeah, he spread a rumor that I didn't know how
Speaker 1: to take out hot pizza. I think he was trying
Speaker 1: to like pre am so he put it on me,
Speaker 1: and I couldn't stand up and be like no jack
Speaker 1: guy like, so I just had to be pizza girl.
Speaker 1: For the rest of the college.
Speaker 3: So now you're setting the record straight. You are not
Speaker 3: pizza girl.
Speaker 1: I am not pizza girl. You went to my school
Speaker 1: and there was a girl and pizza girl with this story.
Speaker 1: Just no, it is not.
Speaker 3: Okay. There's always a pizza boy behind the alleged pizza girl.
Speaker 3: Well thanks for sharing that with us. Text in seventy
Speaker 3: eighty five night too. If you have a confession that
Speaker 3: you've been holding on to, will hide your identity, master
Speaker 3: your voice, and make you the next mass speaker. Your
Speaker 3: phone tasks coming up
Speaker 2: Next, Freaking Jeffrey in the morning.