Speaker 1: Welcome to Guys We Fucked. Guys We Guys Book. I'm Christina,
Speaker 1: I'm Karren. We're sorry about last night the Anti sluck
Speaker 1: Shaming Podcast. I never stopped. Hello everyone, and welcome to
Speaker 1: another episode of Guys We Fucked, emphasis on the fucked. Uh.
Speaker 1: It's the Anti sluck Shaming Podcast. I'm Karen, I'm Christina,
Speaker 1: and uh, well, you know, we're gonna get into what
Speaker 1: you think we're gonna get into. But before that, you know,
Speaker 1: we gotta do and everything's fine. The good thing about
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Speaker 1: and why not support a fellow woman, a fucker who
Speaker 1: makes some good shit. If you want to see us
Speaker 1: in person, here the dates for that. We're currently in
Speaker 1: our airbnb in Venice, California. Uh So, if it sounds different,
Speaker 1: it's a little echoly because we's gon Atchen. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: we're in California, So sorry. Um a bunch of dates.
Speaker 1: Tonight Friday, November eleventh, we're gonna be in Phoenix, Arizona
Speaker 1: at Stand Up Live. There's some tickets left Phoenix. Baby,
Speaker 1: you need us now or whenever we need you. We're
Speaker 1: excited to come out. Wednesday, November sixteenth, were at Crackers
Speaker 1: in Indianapolis. Uh, same thing. Thursday, November seventeen, we're gonna
Speaker 1: be at the Funny Bone in Columbus, Ohio. Friday November eighteenth,
Speaker 1: we're gonna be at the Anathem Theater in Chicago. We're
Speaker 1: almost sold out. This is almost a thousand seat theater,
Speaker 1: so if tickets are still available, click the link. We're
Speaker 1: doing a live podcast re recording for that date, and
Speaker 1: we're so fucking stoked for them, and we know we
Speaker 1: can do it. On Sunday, November twenty, this leg of
Speaker 1: the tour comes to an end at Hilarious. Hilarity is
Speaker 1: in Cleveland, Ohio. Cleveland, I know you're out there. I
Speaker 1: know there's an Ohio fucking guys. We fun fan base,
Speaker 1: so we need those tickets to sell out, and then
Speaker 1: we are back in New York City the week after that. Wednesday,
Speaker 1: November is The Comedian Project at the Standing Room in
Speaker 1: Long Island City. The shows at nine pm. It's five
Speaker 1: dollars with Code Sex. And then Friday's December two, at
Speaker 1: seven p m. Wendy Starling and I are putting on
Speaker 1: our December edition of Glamour Plus at Zinc bar is
Speaker 1: Uh the Christmas Spectacular with Me and Wendy Starling. Tickets
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Speaker 1: So let's uh, wasn't there like an election? There was
Speaker 1: an election that was done. Remember that was I think
Speaker 1: I do for months and months and months and we're
Speaker 1: being in a room full of people at the A
Speaker 1: Theater downtown Los Angeles, and we were all happy. Man,
Speaker 1: we were little anxious. We were I was anxious the
Speaker 1: whole day. Oh my god. I woke up with vicious diarrhea.
Speaker 1: And Bill mar I kept listening to Bill Marsey, don't
Speaker 1: say Trump's never gonna win. That's dangerous. He was right.
Speaker 1: He was right. Sometimes life just goes fuck you and
Speaker 1: uh yeah, take it away. Current. I know you have
Speaker 1: some very well yeah, I mean sometimes I get, you know, emotional,
Speaker 1: and I don't know, and my mind is working faster
Speaker 1: than my mouth, and I don't know exactly how to
Speaker 1: express myself. So I sat down this morning. I've been
Speaker 1: up since it's now what it is, it's one o'clock
Speaker 1: in the morning. Uh, and I've been up since six
Speaker 1: in the morning. I fell asleep on the couch. Why.
Speaker 1: I kind of like made myself go to sleep on
Speaker 1: my couch. I was like, I'm punishing myself on behalf
Speaker 1: of America. I don't know, I'm so weird, Christine, and
Speaker 1: I ate a ship ton of McDonald's sweet and Sour sauce.
Speaker 1: You did because I was sad? Yeah, And so this morning,
Speaker 1: because of my openness about my political and social views,
Speaker 1: I woke up to a Facebook inbox message from a
Speaker 1: girl I went to high school with, a girl I
Speaker 1: would consider myself to be friendly with a girl who
Speaker 1: has a mom who is a teacher at the high school.
Speaker 1: I went to the message, read and I quote, you
Speaker 1: have a podcast called Guys We Fucked and talk about
Speaker 1: blowing people, and you post yourself naked on the internet.
Speaker 1: How about you have some respect for yourself before you
Speaker 1: post this ship Don't you dare put me down like this.
Speaker 1: Don't you dare make me feel this way. By this way,
Speaker 1: she means responsible, responsible for her choices as a voter
Speaker 1: and an American citizen, responsible for being a woman who
Speaker 1: voted for a man who talks down to women and
Speaker 1: thinks less of us. Today should be a day of celebration,
Speaker 1: but it is not. So. Instead of weeping and being angry,
Speaker 1: and I have done both of those things already, h
Speaker 1: Today's agenda has changed. It is now a call to action.
Speaker 1: If you think Hillary Clinton's campaign had nothing to do
Speaker 1: with being a woman, I cannot tell you how wrong
Speaker 1: you are. You didn't need to vote for Hillary Clinton
Speaker 1: quote just because she is a woman. But you need
Speaker 1: to recognize that what just happened is a big statement
Speaker 1: on how much fight we as a sex still have
Speaker 1: ahead of us. We will ever have the respect and
Speaker 1: love of others if we cannot first respect and love ourselves.
Speaker 1: If we had banded together, we could have done this easily.
Speaker 1: We make up more of the population. Us. Not being
Speaker 1: able to put our trust in another woman shows that
Speaker 1: we still do not think ourselves capable of doing a
Speaker 1: quote man's job. I am not scared. I will continue
Speaker 1: speaking up. I will continue giving a voice to women
Speaker 1: who have not yet built up the courage to speak
Speaker 1: for themselves. But yet again, I am disappointed in us
Speaker 1: because I know the beauty of which we are capable,
Speaker 1: and I hope more than anything to live long enough
Speaker 1: to see a woman victorious in the fight to the
Speaker 1: White House. I wanted it to be Hillary Clinton so badly,
Speaker 1: but she had too much fighting to do to stay
Speaker 1: perfect along the way. And perfection is what we require
Speaker 1: of our women. Not our men, certainly, but of our women.
Speaker 1: We talk on this podcast a lot about rape and
Speaker 1: what a rape survivor can do. I always tell them,
Speaker 1: if you're comfortable, I think the best thing you can
Speaker 1: do is speak out. So today and for the rest
Speaker 1: of our lives, we must speak out. If you're a
Speaker 1: young woman listening to this podcast, ensure of what to
Speaker 1: do with your life, unsure of the meaning of this all,
Speaker 1: and sure of if you even matter at all? You do?
Speaker 1: You matter a lot, whether or not you want to be.
Speaker 1: You are a part of this fight, and I hope
Speaker 1: you will be an active soldier with us in this fight.
Speaker 1: We need you, not begrudgingly, but passionately. I hope you
Speaker 1: will consider a career in politics or social work, or
Speaker 1: something that gives you the loudest voice. You can have
Speaker 1: jobs that make you a lot of money are nice,
Speaker 1: But as someone who hasn't had money for most of
Speaker 1: her life, I can honestly tell you the times in
Speaker 1: my life when I was my poorest or some of
Speaker 1: my richest, because the fire inside my soul was so
Speaker 1: very hot. We treated our first female presidential nominee like
Speaker 1: a character in the movie Mean Girls. So many women
Speaker 1: I know called her a bitch and a cunt, and
Speaker 1: even yesterday voted for her, but then left the voting
Speaker 1: station and trashed her on social media. Even when it
Speaker 1: comes to selecting our president, we morphed into the monsters
Speaker 1: men think we are to one another. Every stab of
Speaker 1: the knife into another woman becomes a step for a
Speaker 1: man to climb up the ladder of patriarchy. Dramatic, fuck
Speaker 1: yeah it is. Watching Hilary's concession concession speech this morning
Speaker 1: broke my heart, not because she lost, but because I
Speaker 1: felt her sadness and disappointment in herself for thinking she failed.
Speaker 1: She did not fail. We failed her every step of
Speaker 1: the way. We failed her every time we told her
Speaker 1: how to dress, how to cut her hair. When we
Speaker 1: bullied her into taking her husband's last name, because that's
Speaker 1: what proper wives do. We told her to shut up
Speaker 1: every time she spoke up. Yesterday, the day before the election,
Speaker 1: I discovered a Susan B. Anthony quote from she said,
Speaker 1: our souls ought to be on fire, and yet no
Speaker 1: one seems awake. A hundred and eighteen years later, we
Speaker 1: still didn't wake up because of that. Donald Trump is
Speaker 1: now our president elect. I hope you are all awake now.
Speaker 1: When Karna and I were at the theater and it
Speaker 1: last night election, um, one of my really close friends
Speaker 1: called me, who had to had the unfortunate circumstance of
Speaker 1: getting an abortion a long time ago or you. I
Speaker 1: look at it as the fortunate circumstance to be able
Speaker 1: to trust to do what her what she wants with
Speaker 1: her own body. And she was crying and she was like, Christina,
Speaker 1: what if that happens again? Um, and I don't have
Speaker 1: I have my rights taken away and that's what I'm
Speaker 1: scared of. And uh and uh. I was just I
Speaker 1: was reading a Daily Beast article and um, it was
Speaker 1: about Trump's thoughts on the Supreme Court. Because if you
Speaker 1: don't know the Supreme Court was responsible for a case
Speaker 1: like Roe v. Wade, which was made abortion legal. And uh,
Speaker 1: there are a lot of these high cases. High profile
Speaker 1: cases are decided by the Supreme Court, and the President
Speaker 1: is responsible for choosing the justice. Um. And this is
Speaker 1: just a quote from a Daily Beast article UM written
Speaker 1: yesterday that I think UM explains it well. He's first, obviously,
Speaker 1: Justice Scalia Anton Scalia, who passed seat, will be filled
Speaker 1: by an ultra conservative like William Pryor, who was called
Speaker 1: Roe v. Wade the worst abomination in the history of
Speaker 1: constitutional law. In addition, the eight person court has thus
Speaker 1: far avoided taking on any contravenial controversial issues this term,
Speaker 1: eager to avoid further stalemates like last year's punt on immigration.
Speaker 1: The only high profile case that on the docket is
Speaker 1: a transgender case from Virginia, which will insert insert the
Speaker 1: Court into a culture war of transgender students and gender
Speaker 1: appropriate bathrooms. The courts elder liberals are much older than
Speaker 1: their conservative counterparts. Ruth Bader Ginsburg is eighty three, Stephen
Speaker 1: Bryer is seventy eight. By contrast, Clarence Thomas is sixty
Speaker 1: eight and Samuel Alito is sixty six. Justice Kennedy is
Speaker 1: considered the courts swing vote is eight. So if those
Speaker 1: people die in the next four years, that means Trump
Speaker 1: is going to be responsible for picking them. And he
Speaker 1: he wants he has spoken out against Roe v. Wade,
Speaker 1: and he wants to put people in the Supreme Court
Speaker 1: that are against Roe v. Wade. This is just one
Speaker 1: of the thousands of examples that break my fucking heart
Speaker 1: of why this awful man is going to be in
Speaker 1: charge of our country. It's so heartbreaking that we just left.
Speaker 1: It's it's one am. We crit and I just left
Speaker 1: our show at Irvine UM. It was sold out forner
Speaker 1: in any people. We met a lot of them afterwards.
Speaker 1: They were amazing. And after every show, sure enough, at
Speaker 1: least one person comes up and tells us they were raped.
Speaker 1: We had three or four people, three people come up
Speaker 1: and they just and I'm so fucking sick of of
Speaker 1: of hearing this, because especially when there's a man now
Speaker 1: that's going to be in charge of our country who
Speaker 1: just represents everything I hate, the worst in men, the
Speaker 1: worst that a man could be is him, and and
Speaker 1: and I'm so sick of having that voice be glorified
Speaker 1: and then we gave that voice the presidency. I get
Speaker 1: people who voted for Trump and I watched when he won.
Speaker 1: They were crying tears of joy because they felt some
Speaker 1: sort of void or some sort of desperate need to
Speaker 1: for change, right, And that's what we felt. So we both,
Speaker 1: all of us who voted, wanted the same thing, but
Speaker 1: they just wanted different directions for the change to go.
Speaker 1: And you know, if people are angry, listen to them.
Speaker 1: I I don't know. I want I would love to
Speaker 1: know why people are we're crying tears of joy that
Speaker 1: Trump got elected. I really would love to know, because
Speaker 1: I'm fucking missing something. And as a woman, we walk
Speaker 1: around every fucking day and these little tiny things happen
Speaker 1: in our day to day lives that just create this
Speaker 1: weight of bearing a vagina like it's it's crazy and
Speaker 1: we're not lying, we're not exaggerating, and uh, I know
Speaker 1: it's not hopeless. I don't know. I don't know what
Speaker 1: to do, but um, it's really fucking scary. No. I mean,
Speaker 1: I think I've spent all day thinking about this, obviously,
Speaker 1: as I know you have as well. And I think
Speaker 1: that uh my mom put it in a in great
Speaker 1: terms She said, you know, maybe what this country needed
Speaker 1: was to be like an alcoholic. We needed to hit
Speaker 1: rock bottom so that we could become sober again one
Speaker 1: day soon. And I that happens. Yeah, I would love
Speaker 1: for Trump to to really realize everyone's fucking protesting. We
Speaker 1: couldn't take the one on one. Coming home, my Stephen
Speaker 1: texted me and said, please don't take it. There's violent protests.
Speaker 1: I looked it up. People were grabbing other people out
Speaker 1: of cars. That's not going to stop anything, It's only
Speaker 1: gonna hinder I believe in the power of peaceful protests absolutely, um,
Speaker 1: and I think it's great. But on the bright side,
Speaker 1: I will say not only not only was Hillary's concession
Speaker 1: speech the most wonderful speech that I've seen throughout this
Speaker 1: whole process, but Trump's. On the bright side, Victoria's speech
Speaker 1: was the most humble. So maybe that was nice, you know, maybe,
Speaker 1: and there you'll there, I think I don't. I don't
Speaker 1: think Donald Trump really wanted to be president. I think,
Speaker 1: you know, it was something that went too far, and
Speaker 1: there was you know, our friend John was amazing. John
Speaker 1: Ronson tweeted something something to the effect of and of
Speaker 1: course I'm not gonna do John ronson justice. But he said,
Speaker 1: I remember the look in my eyes when the doctor
Speaker 1: handed me my baby son. Um, you know, the look
Speaker 1: of not knowing what the funk to do. And that's
Speaker 1: the look that he saw Donald Trump give when he
Speaker 1: won the you know, the president elect. UM. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I think this is this is a wake up call. Sorry,
Speaker 1: we can't be passive citizens. We must be active citizens.
Speaker 1: And I know we catch a lot of flaks sometimes
Speaker 1: for being especially hard on women, but guess what, we
Speaker 1: are women, So we have the power to talk to
Speaker 1: you in a way that we can't talk to people
Speaker 1: whose lives we don't know. We are white women, and
Speaker 1: I have to tell you, fifty three percent of white
Speaker 1: women went out to the pool. Who everybody who? Three
Speaker 1: percent of the people who voted UM for Trump were
Speaker 1: white voted of white women who voted voted for Trump exactly.
Speaker 1: So are you fucking kidding me? M? M? Do here
Speaker 1: I mean? And do I do? Do I hold women
Speaker 1: to hire standards? Absolutely absolutely? And you know everyone knows
Speaker 1: the media can skew the media is can swing elections.
Speaker 1: It can really take a lot of make a strong
Speaker 1: impression on people. Um. And I get that, but just
Speaker 1: everybody do your fucking research. I read it. I I
Speaker 1: spent at least two hours a day reading the news,
Speaker 1: every news because no no news sources, completely unbiased. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And for all the people who education shot on Hillary
Speaker 1: along the way, um and say that she pandered and stuff,
Speaker 1: you know, maybe think about why a woman who had
Speaker 1: such lofty goals would do that. And Samantha Be put
Speaker 1: together a really, really wonderful piece of journalism that we
Speaker 1: will certainly share with you. Not saying you have to
Speaker 1: agree with whatever Hillary side. We're not saying that you
Speaker 1: think you have to think Hillary is a saint. But
Speaker 1: if you're if you are a woman, and you truly
Speaker 1: felt Donald Trump was a better option than Hillary Clinton,
Speaker 1: you need a moment of self reflection. Absolutely. And one
Speaker 1: of the things that the Samantha BP said was like
Speaker 1: after graduating Harvard, it was a mirror years after women
Speaker 1: were allowed to kick credit cards. Yeah, it's what the fuck?
Speaker 1: Just really think of it. And um, and for all
Speaker 1: of you who are sad right now, um and who
Speaker 1: supported Hillary Clinton, like Christina and myself did. My mom
Speaker 1: had another great idea. She said, I'm going to fi
Speaker 1: She texted me today and she said, I'm going to
Speaker 1: write Hillary I thank you note and it's you know,
Speaker 1: that sounds like what the funk is like. And I
Speaker 1: thought that was such a great idea. My mom has
Speaker 1: uh always encouraged me to write letters. I've written so
Speaker 1: many letters to companies, uh, seeking change or voicing my opinion,
Speaker 1: and you know, up so nine times out of ten
Speaker 1: I get a response. What it's just a fulness is
Speaker 1: uh yeah, and just say this is something I'm unhappy
Speaker 1: or this is something I'm happy with a lot. So
Speaker 1: often we voice our complaints, but I don't think enough
Speaker 1: times we voice our gratitude. And I think this is
Speaker 1: a moment when Hillary could really, really really use some
Speaker 1: support from other women. So whether you want to write
Speaker 1: her a note card, a long letter, send her a postcard,
Speaker 1: if you have more money, send her flowers at Teddy Bear,
Speaker 1: just something you can write to her. Secretary Hillary Rodham
Speaker 1: Clinton at the Clinton Foundation, twelve seventy sixth Avenue, forty
Speaker 1: second floor, New York, New York, one zero zero two. Oh,
Speaker 1: that addressed will be in the description of the podcast.
Speaker 1: I think it's a really great gesture and um just
Speaker 1: kind of paying it forward. She i if you don't
Speaker 1: want to admit that she paved the way she did,
Speaker 1: and she did, she did the work of about twenty
Speaker 1: five women at least. Actually, uh made an effect and
Speaker 1: policy change when she was in her early career and
Speaker 1: taking a job that did not pay very much and
Speaker 1: fighting for the education rights of disabled kids. What a bitch. Also,
Speaker 1: I love the fact that in the Smith BPS pointed
Speaker 1: out and I knew this, I'd forgotten though, Hillary when
Speaker 1: she married Bill Clinton refused to take his last name.
Speaker 1: And then when he ran for governor of Arkansas, they
Speaker 1: interviewed her and they're like, you know, you're very untraditional
Speaker 1: candidate that you won't take your husband's first name. And
Speaker 1: she's like, the look in her face is the look
Speaker 1: in every woman's face when they get a question like that,
Speaker 1: Like just I don't know. I you see her in
Speaker 1: that in that in that seven minutes segment, go from
Speaker 1: a from a fiery, curly haired, big glasses wearing, out
Speaker 1: spoken woman to someone with her hair pulled behind her
Speaker 1: head in a singular Barrett showing people in the White
Speaker 1: House a goddamn fucking Christmas tree. I I cannot when
Speaker 1: I remember, I remember actually watching footage of Hillary Clinton
Speaker 1: fucking do that goddamn Easter egg roll on on the
Speaker 1: front of the White House lawn. And I was like,
Speaker 1: what the fuck. I don't even I don't know any
Speaker 1: woman whose time that nonsense is worth. What the fuck?
Speaker 1: This is a bunch of fucking bullshits. And and we're mad.
Speaker 1: And if you're mad, that's great. Yet yet like one
Speaker 1: day to be sad, to cry and then pick yourself
Speaker 1: up and be the best fucking woman you can bet,
Speaker 1: be outspoken, and be kind to other women, even women
Speaker 1: who are shitty to you. I cannot tell you how
Speaker 1: fucking important this is. We have kept each other down
Speaker 1: for too long and this is the result. And I
Speaker 1: get the I'm assuming that the majority of people voted
Speaker 1: for Trump want to throw a wrench in the political system,
Speaker 1: and that makes a lot of sense. Um, yeah, my
Speaker 1: dad voted. Well, my dad's not assist runch. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: just don't put the wrench. You know, it's racist, misogynistic, homophobic,
Speaker 1: you know, want to take away rights and we need change.
Speaker 1: We agree with that. The political system isn't isn't he's
Speaker 1: part of politics. The crime bill that Bill Clinton enforced
Speaker 1: in his presidency was fucking awful. And Bill Clinton has
Speaker 1: said that, and Hillary Clinton has said that. They're like, yeah,
Speaker 1: that fucking that was awful and it ruined people's lives.
Speaker 1: And it's like the fact when somebody can funk up
Speaker 1: so royally like that and recognize and apologize, that's something
Speaker 1: that I don't see often in politicians. You certainly don't
Speaker 1: see it in fucking Donald Trump. He hasn't apologized for ship.
Speaker 1: And also, we just have to They've been in politics
Speaker 1: almost all their lives, both of them, both both the Clintons,
Speaker 1: matter what you think of them, and they they are
Speaker 1: humans and they are allowed to make mistakes, um, and
Speaker 1: they are allowed to progress with the times. If one
Speaker 1: more fucking person tells me Hillary, I lont it wasn't
Speaker 1: four gay rights when we were in high school, Yeah,
Speaker 1: because that would have been career suicide. She needs Obama
Speaker 1: was against gay marriage. She needed to not be four
Speaker 1: gay marriage so she could get to the top, and
Speaker 1: when she got there, she could be like, hey, guess what,
Speaker 1: j K, I am here, I am for gay marriage.
Speaker 1: What the funk guy? Hopefully we might see something that
Speaker 1: from Donald Trump. I don't know, you know, it would
Speaker 1: be awesome that would be awesome. I hope for the best. Um,
Speaker 1: And we have to accept that he did win favorite
Speaker 1: square according to the Electoral College about that Hillary won
Speaker 1: the popular vote, but this is the where system is
Speaker 1: set up and and and Donald won in a quote
Speaker 1: Riggs system. But obviously, I mean obviously, I said. That's
Speaker 1: why it was so shocked when they then when they
Speaker 1: were like, yeah, you're gonna be the president, He's like no,
Speaker 1: it was because if the system was very Hillary so
Speaker 1: she won fair and square, and we all need to
Speaker 1: accept that. We need to accept that, but we do
Speaker 1: not need to be happy with that. We knew, we
Speaker 1: do not need to be satisfied with that. And when,
Speaker 1: when and if the horrendous policies and promises he has
Speaker 1: made start coming to fruition, we need to speak out.
Speaker 1: We need to protest. We need to say, hey, this
Speaker 1: isn't okay, not okay, and that's not our guest today. Uh.
Speaker 1: The episode that we're going to do this week, we're
Speaker 1: really excited. We wanted to. We're like's still pick me up.
Speaker 1: This episode was recorded live at Carolines on Broadway in
Speaker 1: New York City in front of a very sold out
Speaker 1: crowd of amazing people, and it was part of the
Speaker 1: New York Comedy Festival. Is our first time doing that,
Speaker 1: so exciting everybody a part of it for having us.
Speaker 1: It was really fun. I am so excited about this guest.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna he's a sex educator, he's a sex hacker.
Speaker 1: I've met him when I took a class at a
Speaker 1: I call it a sex house, but he calls it
Speaker 1: a sex um, sex positive intentional environment. I think that
Speaker 1: might be the last says it in the thing. He's
Speaker 1: one of the most amazing people I've ever met who
Speaker 1: has knows everything about sad. He's very articulate, he's yeah,
Speaker 1: he's very positive, he's very open um. So we talked
Speaker 1: to a few fuckers on stage and then we welcome
Speaker 1: our guest. Ladies and gentlemen. Give it up for the
Speaker 1: wonderful Canneth play. I've been around for way too long.
Speaker 1: The heart is too weak, but the coffee is too strong.
Speaker 1: A bit around, I see what a song. But I
Speaker 1: never was a woman who would break the long till
Speaker 1: I'm at the devil. He wasn't very shy. Here reminded
Speaker 1: me of the man I've known in my life. I
Speaker 1: saw my soul for way to and now I won't
Speaker 1: see him again. I won't see him again. I didn't
Speaker 1: get a received the guys podcast. Wow, this is fun.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you guys, thanks so much for coming
Speaker 1: out and selling on our shows. This is so wonderful.
Speaker 1: I am hungover as fuck. You don't you just don't
Speaker 1: keep tracking how many drinks? I mean that's every time
Speaker 1: I drank. Yeah, yeah, I usually keep track and I didn't.
Speaker 1: It was so sweet. I was I was at an
Speaker 1: event and I was trying to like network and Stephen
Speaker 1: was like, I'll go play pinball so you can go
Speaker 1: like flirt because no guys are talking to you right
Speaker 1: now because I'm with you. And I was like, that
Speaker 1: is so considerate. I love you. I thought it was
Speaker 1: so nice. Selfie wow, shameless, shameless. Right in the front,
Speaker 1: they're like, this show is sold out, but look at
Speaker 1: our faces. Any but yeah, your hair cut says it all.
Speaker 1: Really into it. Yeah, it's good when you guys get
Speaker 1: baked chicken that damn. Oh my god. And you're wearing
Speaker 1: a sweater. This is great. Yeah. I was like, this
Speaker 1: is not our normal demographic. What's happening? Yeah? What what
Speaker 1: was Sara are you here to learn about consent? Because
Speaker 1: that's what it looks like. We're gonna be friends. No
Speaker 1: means harder, that's not true. What do you do for
Speaker 1: a living? Oh? Crazy? Wow, don't throw him under the bus.
Speaker 1: His hair cuts us that for him. You guys are fun.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh? Oh wait? Are you students? All night?
Speaker 1: All right? Okay, So at the beginning of these live recordings,
Speaker 1: I know if you guys listen to the podcast, I'm
Speaker 1: assuming you do. We read emails. Just stumbled into the guys.
Speaker 1: It was Cortoons on the post and I was like, guys,
Speaker 1: we apparently at the last show we did because it's
Speaker 1: the f u c k is asterisk out and they're like,
Speaker 1: I thought it was guys, we fooled And I was like,
Speaker 1: you're a fucking idiot. Now do I want to be
Speaker 1: a more interesting show? Though it's a weird frank show.
Speaker 1: Jeffrey Gurryan would be on that show, and I'm gonna
Speaker 1: get fooled. I love Jeffrey Guryan. Shout out to anybody
Speaker 1: in here want to come up on stage and ask
Speaker 1: a question about like a dilemma or having not about us.
Speaker 1: This is about you. This is the only time it's
Speaker 1: going to be about you. Do you want to come up?
Speaker 1: Get out of your system? Now? Oh? Nice and close?
Speaker 1: Very nice? Okay, you can go nice, Take a seat,
Speaker 1: take a like, take a wanna what's your name? Take
Speaker 1: them my hair? Amanda? What's up, Amana? What's going on?
Speaker 1: Hey girl, I'm to see you. Guys. I'm so happy
Speaker 1: to be here. Thank you, happy, happy to have you. Okay,
Speaker 1: so my problem, yes, okay, it's better be really bad
Speaker 1: otherwise we're going to make fun of you. Just you know. Okay,
Speaker 1: She's like, I gotta change it now. So, um, I
Speaker 1: date a lot of guys, right, but sometimes I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm wasting my time because I go on a
Speaker 1: few dates, you know, I get to know them, take
Speaker 1: time texting them, and then they have a little dick
Speaker 1: where this day wait see it? What do you do?
Speaker 1: Are you like? Are you fine? I'm tested? I talk time,
Speaker 1: I talked to me and you have a little dick?
Speaker 1: Is that what he said? That? That's what I think?
Speaker 1: And then because that's me, gotta go. But and then
Speaker 1: it's like and then I'll get judged if you know,
Speaker 1: after the first couple of texts like dick pick. You
Speaker 1: asked her, right, because you want to be I don't
Speaker 1: because I feel like I'm going to get judged about it.
Speaker 1: But that's really what I'm thinking, Like, all right, you see, nice,
Speaker 1: good job, you know you're funny, you're sweet, blah blah.
Speaker 1: Would you judge a girl if she asked for dick pick?
Speaker 1: Don't lie? My husband has a huge one person probably straightcus.
Speaker 1: I didn't want to assume, but I kind of I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, if that makes much more sense because
Speaker 1: I was like, no, straight guy is like sitting a
Speaker 1: front row eating eating a half of a baked chicken.
Speaker 1: There's a reason though, because you want pussy. So yeah, wait,
Speaker 1: would you get weird out of a girl's for dick pick?
Speaker 1: Don't lie? Weird? You know? No, you wouldn't think she's
Speaker 1: a slut? What would you would you think? I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: if a guy thinks you're a slut for asking for
Speaker 1: a dick pick, tell him the funk off. That's stupid. However, sorry,
Speaker 1: I like dicks, Like don't you want that? Yeah? But however,
Speaker 1: like what if before you like went out with a girl,
Speaker 1: like with someone went out with you? They were like,
Speaker 1: can I see a picture of you? Naked, so I
Speaker 1: can make sure you're not wearing spanks and you're not fat.
Speaker 1: You know. It's a little shitty, but but I could
Speaker 1: do something about wearing the space. I could go to
Speaker 1: the gym, I could work out. I wouldn't need the spanks.
Speaker 1: He can't do it, but you're not going to before
Speaker 1: the date? Yes he can because he's got the her.
Speaker 1: I saw that ship. I like the Mica on accident.
Speaker 1: But so it's okay the other ways or should I not?
Speaker 1: I mean I meant to feel it out. Okay, we
Speaker 1: go on. He's not the co host of the Guys
Speaker 1: we Fu podcast and uh spe secondly listen, So if
Speaker 1: if it's something that's important to you, then I think
Speaker 1: it's okay to ask. But what I'm trying to say
Speaker 1: is like, maybe don't be so obsessed with dick size
Speaker 1: and like more with like personality. Yeah, someone not hitting you,
Speaker 1: you know, things like that, because if you're just off,
Speaker 1: like how small is this? Like do you need a
Speaker 1: huge dick? Or is this like something with a problem. No,
Speaker 1: but I've I've had like this bad luck and it's like,
Speaker 1: come on this, I felt like the condom look baggy.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I was like, what the fund is that? What? All? Right? Well?
Speaker 1: And then now jump tiped you're traumatized. Jesus, I'm glad.
Speaker 1: That's the worst thing. That dick multiple micro dicks? Yeah,
Speaker 1: like microck too, but then I delete them. So how
Speaker 1: many guys have had micro dicks that you've maybe like
Speaker 1: three or four? Wow? That micros But also but also
Speaker 1: a guy. If a guy has a micro dick, I
Speaker 1: would also imagine there's a possibility that he is very
Speaker 1: skilled at going down on a girl or fingering a girl.
Speaker 1: And also there's ways to combat, you know, having a
Speaker 1: small started discussing amongst themselves like yeah, I feel like
Speaker 1: that it's actually true. I will prove it to you
Speaker 1: right now. So, I mean, your preferences are your preferences.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's wrong for not wanting a micro dick.
Speaker 1: I don't think you're a bad person. Um, but you
Speaker 1: know you've have you asked for in the past for
Speaker 1: dick picks and it didn't go well. Okay, So I
Speaker 1: have asked for dick picks and then they say no,
Speaker 1: like they'll send me a picture with just like you know,
Speaker 1: but in then the one but and then I have
Speaker 1: asked for dick picks, and they're like great dicks. But
Speaker 1: the ones who don't want to send them, I'm like, oh, man,
Speaker 1: but I'm still in tree. That's a mystery. Then I
Speaker 1: go and I'm like, shit, I should I should have
Speaker 1: took the hint. Yeah, but I don't send pictures of
Speaker 1: my naked body ever. And I got some like the
Speaker 1: double standard because if you ask, yeah, you can't act that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if you asked me to send you a pitch in
Speaker 1: my blues, I'll be like, no, you gotta wait for that.
Speaker 1: See he wants, you know what, he can want you
Speaker 1: to wait to see his dick. It doesn't mean that
Speaker 1: it's a certain size, but you know, just know every
Speaker 1: girl knows there's a bargain that you take when the
Speaker 1: pants on zip and you're like, what am I in for?
Speaker 1: We'll see you know. And so I mean that's part
Speaker 1: of the fun kind of even when it's like bad,
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, well I was entertained. Yeah, it's like
Speaker 1: unwrapping mystery chocolates or something. You know, there's other value
Speaker 1: besides like getting good dick, like having a good laugh,
Speaker 1: not in front of him, private like you know, don't
Speaker 1: do that don't laugh at people's faces. Yeah, all right,
Speaker 1: does that help a little? I don't know. I think
Speaker 1: I still why don't you just ask what's your dick like?
Speaker 1: And if like maybe you know, they could either have
Speaker 1: a funny response like people are pretty open about that
Speaker 1: and it's a little less aggressive than like dick pitch please. Yeah, right,
Speaker 1: well you guys can do that, you well, I mean
Speaker 1: there is what was the site that review Lulu? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Is that still up? Is that still going? I got taken?
Speaker 1: I think it turned a little mean, which of course
Speaker 1: it did. Yeah, well, everyone's monsters, guys, you know, just
Speaker 1: so you know, like feminism is fun. We're all talking about,
Speaker 1: you know, how evil men are, but you guys are
Speaker 1: bitches to women are women can be pieced ship too,
Speaker 1: you know, and the feminism ship. Yeah for sure. All right, cool,
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you very much for you. I've been
Speaker 1: chatting with us, um person over there, just be honest,
Speaker 1: whoever that was, we'll take well wherever you were over there,
Speaker 1: come up on stage. I pointed to you before. Or
Speaker 1: do I have what you asked for? Dick picts or
Speaker 1: do you know? I get the people just send them
Speaker 1: to me. But I have never asked for one. Never know,
Speaker 1: you just got the face that's like I'm gonna send
Speaker 1: this girl picture. Yeah. Well, I mean I don't think
Speaker 1: it's my face. I think it's my personality. I mean
Speaker 1: unless my face, like yes, come up, Hi, Hi, what's
Speaker 1: your name? My name is Shannon, Shannon. Hello, nice to
Speaker 1: meet you. Is this also a cock eyes related problem
Speaker 1: or no? No, No, it's different. It's not a problem
Speaker 1: so much as an outside opinion might be Yeah, just
Speaker 1: close them. Oh boy, I don't think there is going
Speaker 1: an outside opinion might be needed. No, it's not like
Speaker 1: settling an argument. It's just curiosity on a on a subject. Um.
Speaker 1: So I have a long distance, not a long distance,
Speaker 1: a long term relationship. It's pretty great. It was long distance.
Speaker 1: It was the worst thing. Okay, it's not anymore, and
Speaker 1: it's great, and like sex is a plus plus, like
Speaker 1: all the time. Great, it's awesome. Um, and that person
Speaker 1: here like it's got to laugh and go on. But
Speaker 1: recently I've been unemployed and so like stressed out, not
Speaker 1: sleeping so great and so sometimes um, and he's got
Speaker 1: a pretty stressful job. So sometimes at night it's like
Speaker 1: I gotta go to sleep and I respect that. No
Speaker 1: means no, you just move on with your life. Consent
Speaker 1: works both ways. Yes, it's got to lay off and
Speaker 1: so so sometimes if you wake up, say it's three
Speaker 1: am in the morning, and you're tossing in turn, you
Speaker 1: want to go back to sleep. You've got a job
Speaker 1: interview the next day, and your partner's asleep. You don't
Speaker 1: want to make him up because he's actually got to
Speaker 1: go to work and do stuff. In the difference, is
Speaker 1: there a problem with like helping yourself to sleep jerking off? Yeah, no, no,
Speaker 1: while the other persons in the bed, no problem. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this was so easy. This is the easiest question we've
Speaker 1: ever gone. I did not no problem. Okay, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: that's but have you asked him about I mean, he's
Speaker 1: not gonna use a vibrator? No, No, I did. It
Speaker 1: was I'm so, I'm I'm on the other side of
Speaker 1: the bed to where the vibrator draw is. So I
Speaker 1: wasn't time over here, like I put it under your pillow.
Speaker 1: That's a good idea. Yeah, I was just trying to
Speaker 1: make sure he got a good night's sleep. I didn't
Speaker 1: want to bother. It's sweet and sometimes go on the couch.
Speaker 1: I was like quiet and like, you know you already
Speaker 1: said it was fine. I don't think that you feel
Speaker 1: very guilty for some reason. But but if if if
Speaker 1: James started jerking off while you were sleeping and it
Speaker 1: was fine, just we've both done it, like, it really
Speaker 1: doesn't bother me. If I like, if I was asleep
Speaker 1: and he waked me, woke me up and he's like
Speaker 1: I can't sleep, fuck me, I would be like fuck
Speaker 1: that would be the worst. Oh my god, my contact
Speaker 1: just fell out. Was so aggressive about that. Do you
Speaker 1: want to hold your god damn it. Yeah, so I
Speaker 1: did it last night and it's Stephen. You were mad, right,
Speaker 1: you didn't hear it? Yeah, he's cool, it's cool. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And so like I guess an addendum is like if
Speaker 1: they're like playing video games and your board, is that okay?
Speaker 1: Like just start massipating right next toime and see what happens. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a good honestly, Sometimes like Stephen will do that
Speaker 1: and I'll be like, well, now I want to fuck.
Speaker 1: So you got your wing? Yeah, and it's kind of nice.
Speaker 1: Well thanks, yeah, I hope you get job. I mean
Speaker 1: then in a good one. I'm not like having a
Speaker 1: fucking job. Like no, seriously, good luck on your drop search.
Speaker 1: Thanks for coming and talking with us. Give it up
Speaker 1: for her? Is your contact with that? Okay? Thank you though,
Speaker 1: that's very nice round of a plush you just offered me,
Speaker 1: I drop skies. What a nice person ever? Okay, So
Speaker 1: I don't I talked about this very briefly on one
Speaker 1: of the podcast episodes that Stephen and I took a
Speaker 1: sex class at a sex house. Did I say that?
Speaker 1: I think I said that on the podcast. For um,
Speaker 1: we don't know if it. I don't know if it
Speaker 1: was clear that was a sex house. I know that
Speaker 1: a sex house. It was like the real world, but
Speaker 1: a sex house. It is a town. Anyway, I took
Speaker 1: this class. It was all day long with this woman
Speaker 1: named Dr Joanna and this gentleman named Kenneth Play and
Speaker 1: it was so interesting and informative. And one of the
Speaker 1: things that Kenneth had touched on was sometimes he teaches
Speaker 1: seminars will like make girls like he says, every girl
Speaker 1: can square. We'll ask him when he comes up. He's right, um,
Speaker 1: but yeah um, And so he's an sex educator, he's
Speaker 1: a sex hacker. I don't what then that means, but
Speaker 1: we're gonna ask him. Uh and he co founded this
Speaker 1: sex house hasci Anda Villa. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome
Speaker 1: our guests, Kenneth play. Okay, hi Kenneth, how are you hello? Nay,
Speaker 1: and just be careful. There's like a little hole that
Speaker 1: we were warned about that your chair could fall in
Speaker 1: by the fast so I didn't know that, so that
Speaker 1: was exciting. Yeah, you can fall into a hole, So
Speaker 1: nice jacket. I just want to, you know, comment on
Speaker 1: that in front of aybody, because I feel like everyone's
Speaker 1: thinking it, so I'm gonna say it. Um, it's so
Speaker 1: nice to have you here. Thank you. Um. And are
Speaker 1: you wearing the clip ring? Is that that's like a
Speaker 1: new isn't that a new thing that the clip? Now?
Speaker 1: Is that big inside of you or something discovers a
Speaker 1: little clitteracy for everyone? Right? Wow? Okay yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: So one of the things that you told me you
Speaker 1: did you mentioned in the class. You didn't do it
Speaker 1: in the class, but is every woman can squirt? You
Speaker 1: have this theory. No, I think not everybody needs to squirt,
Speaker 1: and you did not win a medal if you could squirt.
Speaker 1: But it's pop I think many women could have that experience,
Speaker 1: but um, I think the media kind of over hyped squirting,
Speaker 1: you know, and it's also not an orgasm for most people.
Speaker 1: Is a different sensation and experience, but some women could
Speaker 1: um have orgasm accompanying the squirting experience. So it depends.
Speaker 1: But I do think that if anyone who's interesting or
Speaker 1: having a new sensation or a sexual experience is worth exploring,
Speaker 1: because I don't think most manual sex or finger banging,
Speaker 1: most people are stimulating um term the g spot in
Speaker 1: the right velocity on the right angle. Though, So I
Speaker 1: like teaching Jesus, I feel like you know more about
Speaker 1: my vagina than I do, and that's very disturbing but
Speaker 1: also a fact. So what am I gonna do? Um?
Speaker 1: How did you go from being born to fingering women
Speaker 1: on stage to show people how women can squirt? Like
Speaker 1: what happened in between there? Well that's kind of a
Speaker 1: long story, but this is how I actually start most
Speaker 1: of my presentation. My name is kind of play and
Speaker 1: have an advertised penis? Nice? Yeah you do? Why why
Speaker 1: why do we start with that? I think is kind
Speaker 1: of terrible to redo sexuality into what a genital looks like?
Speaker 1: How big a genito is? Or we do sit to
Speaker 1: just function? That are we do sit just to function?
Speaker 1: Like how long can we funk? Can we get a
Speaker 1: dick hard on time? Or you know how wet we are?
Speaker 1: And you know, if we could have ten thousand orgasm,
Speaker 1: we could squirt. So I grew up with a lot
Speaker 1: of sexual insecurity growing up um Asian American. You feel
Speaker 1: really sexually invisible, you know, and I was sexuality so underrepresented.
Speaker 1: So um I had a much longer teaching background in
Speaker 1: the fitness industry, and it kind of taught me how
Speaker 1: to like, you know, work on myself and change other
Speaker 1: people's lives. And when I jump into the sex positive community,
Speaker 1: I changed my sex life forever. And I thought originally,
Speaker 1: you know, getting fit would get me lay and you know,
Speaker 1: get me more confident, and did not really do that.
Speaker 1: It was able to talk to more people and have
Speaker 1: a little more confidence, but I was overcoming all my
Speaker 1: sexual insecurity that actually helped me connect with people. So
Speaker 1: having six pack has nothing to do with being able
Speaker 1: to walk to Cindy and be like, hey, I want
Speaker 1: to ask. But the external stuff doesn't actually change your
Speaker 1: internal experience. So you know, sometimes when you watch point performers, right,
Speaker 1: they look like they're having incredible sex on screen, they
Speaker 1: might not feel that good actually while they're doing it.
Speaker 1: So I had a half four girls give me a
Speaker 1: blow job at one time. I was thinking and I
Speaker 1: was thinking, wow, this is like heavy man's dream. But
Speaker 1: I thought that blowjob was kind of terrible. So finally
Speaker 1: get your dick, sure, chicks, and once you're not happy? No,
Speaker 1: just kidding, Well that does sound kind of hard. How
Speaker 1: can four girls blow one dick? Exactly? It's not very
Speaker 1: functional the other three, right, because like towards the end,
Speaker 1: consistency is so key, and then you keep switching so annoying.
Speaker 1: I got that. So wait, what what like? What are
Speaker 1: your parents? Who are your parents? Like? What are they? Like? Yeah?
Speaker 1: What are your parents? They do? I have a very
Speaker 1: typical Asian mom that still kind of confused about what
Speaker 1: I do. But that's a stereotype. But it's actually interesting
Speaker 1: talking to my mom about sexuality and the lack of
Speaker 1: education in her generation and kind of relate to her
Speaker 1: a little bit better about like not knowing anything. And
Speaker 1: then you just get basically there, you know, default package
Speaker 1: from society, like this is what sex should look like, uh,
Speaker 1: and we always make some romance with sex, right, a
Speaker 1: sexual desire I have to mix with romance, and for
Speaker 1: some of us, after coming to the hooking up healthy, um,
Speaker 1: I was like, um, that sexual desire doesn't necessarily have
Speaker 1: to mix with our you know, romantic desire. So so
Speaker 1: I think having a more of a dialogue or a
Speaker 1: conversation with my mom really helped um. And still I
Speaker 1: think she just think it's funny and and it's kind
Speaker 1: of weird that like my assistant recently, just like I
Speaker 1: was teaching a squirting workshop and she invited she invited
Speaker 1: everyone on my Facebook list and guess was on your
Speaker 1: sporting workshop? Did she decline or did she? I maybe?
Speaker 1: What did she call you? And she was like can
Speaker 1: I she's used to it, But did she give you
Speaker 1: a sex talk? Did she kind of arm you with
Speaker 1: the knowledge of sex before you? Actually she's always said
Speaker 1: don't do it too much because you lose your chi
Speaker 1: and stuff. So I was like, what, Okay, that's the
Speaker 1: reason why I not to do it too well, I
Speaker 1: mean that was a better reason than I've heard other
Speaker 1: people give. So losing your cheeses, all right, and what
Speaker 1: does your mom know? What sporting is I never asked.
Speaker 1: You never asked. And I don't talk about like the
Speaker 1: sex parties or they're more scandalous things with her right,
Speaker 1: focus more on the education side. And and but it's
Speaker 1: funny when she comes to my house, she's like, what
Speaker 1: is this? You know, I have a big sex and
Speaker 1: I was yeah, And the basement has poles on the
Speaker 1: Can you take a picture? And I'm like, okay, mom, oh, mom,
Speaker 1: get off the trip. All that house is crazy. That
Speaker 1: house is so beautiful. Uh it's yeah. I was telling
Speaker 1: everybody that's like a real world house. And you live
Speaker 1: in that house in the house, yes, with twelve other
Speaker 1: people residents member. Yeah, and they each have their own bedroom.
Speaker 1: They have their own bedroom. Yes, And they're there to
Speaker 1: work and fun. I mean you know they because I
Speaker 1: remember asking them. I'm like, do you guys have a job,
Speaker 1: And they're like, yeah, I don't just have sex all day.
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, because that's kind of what I thought,
Speaker 1: because you're living in a house that's like here's condoms,
Speaker 1: here's a pole, he has some lube, he's a hot Well.
Speaker 1: Most people don't know that we actually don't suck each other.
Speaker 1: It's a house policy, So I think out individual sex
Speaker 1: life is epic enough that we don't have to do
Speaker 1: it at home. It also makes it less sustainable for
Speaker 1: a you know, a relationship that long term and so
Speaker 1: have people. So yeah, because obviously there's a need for
Speaker 1: that rule that I'm assuming somebody it didn't work out
Speaker 1: in the past when be broken like it's been broken,
Speaker 1: actually knows are you sure? How do you it's not
Speaker 1: it's also not a rule is strongly discouraged. But however, however,
Speaker 1: we don't funk each other, but we could teamwork a lot.
Speaker 1: So it's really easy to have a gang bang or
Speaker 1: threeesome if we want to work it out where we partnership.
Speaker 1: How many gang bangs you having like a month? Get
Speaker 1: in a little bit more lately because it's because there
Speaker 1: was our Thrillist article that was written by um Um granted,
Speaker 1: who I'm writing a book with, and we talked about
Speaker 1: how to set up a gang bang? So how do
Speaker 1: you set up a gang bang? It was for his
Speaker 1: for his girlfriend, and it was his girlfriend's request to
Speaker 1: set up a gang bang for our birthday. So we
Speaker 1: talked about how how we do it intentionally and and
Speaker 1: and and you know the guys, you know, talk about it.
Speaker 1: We talked about consent, you know what, we prefer limits,
Speaker 1: safe words for the safe words. I'm just curious Red
Speaker 1: because it's you know, Red Rent. I'd be like, and
Speaker 1: I'm done, Okay, that would be my same work. But yeah,
Speaker 1: so but it was. It was really interesting to do
Speaker 1: in a very female centric kind of, you know way.
Speaker 1: And most people think gang Bang is for like the
Speaker 1: guys you know, working together, but it's really, you know,
Speaker 1: we're just in service. And the best part of that
Speaker 1: whole gang Bang it was halftime when she said she
Speaker 1: wanted a break and she told us to line up
Speaker 1: right across and do the helicopter together for her for bad.
Speaker 1: So she's like, yeah, She's like, all right now you guys,
Speaker 1: I want to get help from me real quick. What
Speaker 1: did g I like her? Wow, that's fun. So wait,
Speaker 1: her boyfriend was at the gang Bang to five of us,
Speaker 1: there's five of us. Did she hand select who she
Speaker 1: wanted to be a part of it? She hand selected
Speaker 1: because she has like a fit boy fetish. So it's
Speaker 1: like a castle three hundred So oh wow, there was
Speaker 1: I'm sorry there was a casting for the gang Bang. No, oh,
Speaker 1: that cat is I thought you had three hundred guys
Speaker 1: that I'm like Jesus Christ. I forgot that was a movie,
Speaker 1: but I get I get the reference. Now, Okay, So
Speaker 1: she just had five fit dudes fucker and then helico
Speaker 1: after their dicks for her. She's a queen. She's a queen.
Speaker 1: She's a queen. And do you like what are your fetishes?
Speaker 1: What are my fetishes? I love giving people new experiences,
Speaker 1: like the first time I do my it's my it's
Speaker 1: my kink um. That's why I do a lot of
Speaker 1: the warehouse parties and and different mainstream parties lately. And
Speaker 1: so I set up a kink room and so these
Speaker 1: are sex parties, right No, No, not sex party mainstream
Speaker 1: warehouse like Burner or at this party, because I think
Speaker 1: it's a big commitment for people to show up to
Speaker 1: a sex party. It's not like I'm just gonna go there,
Speaker 1: so um, and it's hard to get into some of them,
Speaker 1: right So um, some of those mainstream party people could
Speaker 1: come up and if they've never been spank popularly, I
Speaker 1: could do a really quick sex at class there and
Speaker 1: I could rotate a group of people and they get
Speaker 1: to try things be suspended or be spank or I
Speaker 1: could teach you know, a partner how to do it
Speaker 1: to each other. So it's really fun, like it's a
Speaker 1: like a touch off, you know, that experience. So people
Speaker 1: aren't being spanked properly, like what's a shitty spank look like?
Speaker 1: You know it's it's It's also tricky because I don't
Speaker 1: think most people know how to like they don't have
Speaker 1: the language yet to read each other. So so if
Speaker 1: a woman really enjoy being hit but she had that
Speaker 1: personality likes to provoke, she's like, you pussy hit me harder,
Speaker 1: you know, and the guy don't know how to interpret
Speaker 1: that energy because a lot of it is that you
Speaker 1: want to provoke, so you'd be put into your place. Right.
Speaker 1: But if we get that as a feedback, we most
Speaker 1: guys just turtle because we go like, oh ship, what
Speaker 1: am I doing? So either they hit too hard or
Speaker 1: they get scared. So I was teaching each other how
Speaker 1: to read each other's language right and then and how
Speaker 1: to act accordingly. Is it the fun part? So that
Speaker 1: was a really nice way of saying, don't be a cunt,
Speaker 1: don't get in front of by guy. So wait, um,
Speaker 1: I know I think before we go any further, I
Speaker 1: just kind of kind of like address what I think
Speaker 1: is the elephant in the room. Like, as a strong woman,
Speaker 1: anytime a guy is like, let me tell you about
Speaker 1: your vagina, I roll my eyes, I'm like, what the funk?
Speaker 1: And then I just assume that this sex but just
Speaker 1: wants to bang a bunch of chicks. So when people
Speaker 1: come come to you with that kind of an attitude,
Speaker 1: how do you make them trust you? Good question? I
Speaker 1: don't know. Well I don't. I don't claimed to be
Speaker 1: an expert. I think I'm still a student of sex.
Speaker 1: You know. I was lucky and fortunate to have a
Speaker 1: lot of really good mentor in this industry that taught
Speaker 1: me a lot of different techniques and also my my
Speaker 1: my personal preference is to have a very diverse view.
Speaker 1: So I learned stuff from the kink community, from the
Speaker 1: sexy community, from the tantra community. But um, I think,
Speaker 1: you know, I think everybody has a unique body and
Speaker 1: what makes them plegible about arouses now, so I think
Speaker 1: it's more of a discovery process versus like I have
Speaker 1: this master skill and I want to show it to you.
Speaker 1: But I think UM, teaching people more on the relational
Speaker 1: skills like how to connect, how to have a language asked,
Speaker 1: what you want is something more magical than you know,
Speaker 1: I could do this thing? You know? Right, You're right
Speaker 1: because the pickup you don't have an ego like that,
Speaker 1: like a pickup artist. I fucking usually I don't like
Speaker 1: those people because they have a fucking ego about them
Speaker 1: and then their their way, their art in picking up
Speaker 1: is just insulting people and then be like, yeah, you bitch,
Speaker 1: you want to go on a date with me? Now?
Speaker 1: Like it's like it's so weird, and I know some
Speaker 1: women enjoy that or like that, but I'm like, I
Speaker 1: just so, yeah, you're the ego that you don't have
Speaker 1: that it's just like exciting. Well, it's actually interesting that
Speaker 1: I was writing a blog article with Grant. I mean
Speaker 1: he was asking me for some content and I was
Speaker 1: talking about three men's group out in the world. So
Speaker 1: there's the Men's Right group, So those are like they're angry, right,
Speaker 1: those are the angry feminist version of men right on
Speaker 1: that version, And then there's the pickup artist group, which
Speaker 1: is basically trying to game the system that we have, right,
Speaker 1: like how to game the system? How to deal with
Speaker 1: what we have. And then there's another men's group that
Speaker 1: are basically I'm done with women. I don't want to
Speaker 1: have any association women or women are bad, but they
Speaker 1: don't actively hate, but they just avoid. They want to
Speaker 1: be alone. But there's a I think there's a fourth
Speaker 1: um group of men out there who are actively kind of,
Speaker 1: you know, breaking down the tradition the system that we
Speaker 1: have right now. And I think it. I think the
Speaker 1: way that we trying to create their sex positive culture
Speaker 1: is by not equality model where we're trying to be equal,
Speaker 1: but I think I'm more of an equity model where
Speaker 1: we're trying to um give a lot of our power
Speaker 1: encouragement to give more power and and and in this
Speaker 1: magical way that we could create a space where women
Speaker 1: feel safe right and don't feel shame about the sexuality
Speaker 1: and feel perfectly okay walking around the lingerie and coming
Speaker 1: to a sex party. Everybody he's happy, and everybody have
Speaker 1: more sex because of that. So you feel comfortable in
Speaker 1: your own body because the environment you're and is comfortable.
Speaker 1: So I think empowering women to celebrate the sexuality is
Speaker 1: actually the I mean, for me, that is the most
Speaker 1: joy and the best sex that I have because you
Speaker 1: know here that when you're surrounded by empower women, right,
Speaker 1: it's delicious. Yeah, I agree, I agree, that was very good.
Speaker 1: We should clap for him. That was very good. Well,
Speaker 1: it's so funny. It's so ironic to me because when
Speaker 1: when I've had very few experiences, but I've had experiences
Speaker 1: where a guy you rejected me cause you was slut
Speaker 1: or you moved too fast, then he wanted to move
Speaker 1: because it's and it's so ironic because I'm like, don't
Speaker 1: you want to fuck? Because that ain't going to get
Speaker 1: us the fuck. It's so confusing to me. But maybe
Speaker 1: they hate themselves. I don't know. Now, what's a relationship
Speaker 1: like for someone who is a sex educator. How is
Speaker 1: it How is it different than just a person in finance,
Speaker 1: um having a relationship your whole chicken. I mean I didn't.
Speaker 1: I didn't grow up like you know when I was five.
Speaker 1: When I grew up, I want to be a sex
Speaker 1: education I can fall into my lap, but life is
Speaker 1: a little different. Sometimes I don't even like to talk
Speaker 1: about what I do at like random dinner party because
Speaker 1: everybody started asking us, you know, you know, the feeling
Speaker 1: and people just start asking you questions. Is normal, um um,
Speaker 1: but it's been really fulfilling, and then think it's still
Speaker 1: a hasn't really hit the mainstream culture yet, you know
Speaker 1: where sex education is not. You know, if a guy
Speaker 1: going to a sex class, they would feel like they're
Speaker 1: incompetent versus they're bettering themselves. Right, So so that is
Speaker 1: the we gotta ah right because we have we we've
Speaker 1: been taught that, you know, you should be naturally good
Speaker 1: at sex, which is kind of crazy, like we were
Speaker 1: all born hungry, but not everyone knows how to cook. Right,
Speaker 1: So yeah, that's a good line, Kenne play you blew
Speaker 1: his mind, You blew his fucking mind. That's so true.
Speaker 1: We're all going home and fucking after this. Damn. Yeah. No, absolutely,
Speaker 1: But like like a personal romantic relationship because I obviously
Speaker 1: sometimes like with us, we who's this podcast and people well,
Speaker 1: you know, for me, I was single when we started this,
Speaker 1: and people were certainly hesitant to date someone who talked
Speaker 1: about sex and promiscuity so openly because they thought I
Speaker 1: was hard to trust or just dirty, you know, other
Speaker 1: fun things. So how do you, like, how do you
Speaker 1: explain are you heterosexual or just posexual. Okay, I like
Speaker 1: a lot of teamwork with men. I just don't like
Speaker 1: sex directly with men. Right, So then how do you
Speaker 1: explain to a woman like on a date, like what
Speaker 1: like what you do and how do you and then
Speaker 1: that you live in a sex right. Yeah, that's a
Speaker 1: lot of is different in my with my life currently
Speaker 1: because we get a lot of referral sex. So it's
Speaker 1: different like people, what what's referral sex? For all sex
Speaker 1: is when someone like another girl will send their girlfriend
Speaker 1: a you should suck it more like one of my
Speaker 1: guy friend has the lover and go like, oh you
Speaker 1: should play with kind of two. So, but I think
Speaker 1: sex life and my romantic life is a little different.
Speaker 1: So I practice ethical non monogamy. So um, you know
Speaker 1: some people, I don't like the label as much because
Speaker 1: I think it's more of adaptive attitude. So probably meaning
Speaker 1: you have to fall in love with a lot of
Speaker 1: people every you know, or more than one person at
Speaker 1: a time. And for me is that I would rather
Speaker 1: be a little bit more flexible. Gus. I think in
Speaker 1: different stages of my life, I would have different needs.
Speaker 1: So I guess if I commit my teens and twenties
Speaker 1: I want, you know, you want to suck a lot
Speaker 1: of For me, I want to suck a lot of
Speaker 1: people and not have a more committed romantic relationship. And
Speaker 1: in my mid thirties, now you know, um, you stop
Speaker 1: thinking about your life a little differently about partnership. And
Speaker 1: then and you see their swinger community which has held
Speaker 1: a lot more people in their forties and fifty. Those
Speaker 1: are people who went for their their marriage right, the
Speaker 1: traditional life, and they have kids and they go like
Speaker 1: they got a little bored, so now they want to
Speaker 1: suck other couples sweers are old, always older, like my
Speaker 1: parents age or something. So I'm like, what what did
Speaker 1: it take to get you to finally be in doing that?
Speaker 1: Like when you're forty or fifty and you wake up
Speaker 1: and you're like, can switch. It's fascinating. I I work
Speaker 1: for this boutique travel company where we travel to bucket
Speaker 1: list location around the world, and then you see people
Speaker 1: have been swinging for like thirty forty years and they
Speaker 1: still fucking doing it hard on like and I think
Speaker 1: it's pretty incredible to celebrate your relationship in that way
Speaker 1: where they get the sexual needs met right and they
Speaker 1: still very committed and very loving and have their family
Speaker 1: and very traditional life. So I think it's sort of
Speaker 1: a life hack. Yeah, oh you're a sex hacker, he said, Yes,
Speaker 1: so hacked. So I do not back into your phone
Speaker 1: and see your dick pic or your booby picks? Right, Um,
Speaker 1: I think sex hacking is about creating, you know, offering
Speaker 1: really clever, simple solution to some tricky problem. So like,
Speaker 1: for example, a lot of people. So for example, um,
Speaker 1: a lot of people here. Maybe some of you have
Speaker 1: a struggle telling your partner what you like, right, Like,
Speaker 1: how do you tell your partner what you like? And
Speaker 1: it's very difficult, but we have all So I teach
Speaker 1: this game called the pledge a loop. Right, how many
Speaker 1: of you are here with someone? Would you play with me?
Speaker 1: You want to play with me? Yeah? Yeah? Okay, So
Speaker 1: if you have a partner, yeah, I see partner. If
Speaker 1: you have a friend, now, if you ask your partner
Speaker 1: to scratch your back right now, and I want you
Speaker 1: to imagine there's a spot on your body, right on
Speaker 1: your back that is really itchy and needs to be scratched,
Speaker 1: and I want you to tell your partner to scratch it,
Speaker 1: and I want you to move your body to where
Speaker 1: they want to be scratched and do it and you
Speaker 1: can say higher, lower, a little harder. Now go fine,
Speaker 1: tell your partner to scratch it. So this is the
Speaker 1: shot your partners back and get them to scratch your
Speaker 1: good until you feel it feedback though, you're gonna go
Speaker 1: it feels good right there on moan or whatever, I
Speaker 1: gets you what the fund is happening on this podcast? See,
Speaker 1: but we have the skill set to let someone know
Speaker 1: what we like, but we don't have the language in
Speaker 1: the bedroom. Sorry, Oh, that's a good point you just
Speaker 1: made by the one an activity. I like that. Wow.
Speaker 1: So a sex yeah, learning better communication? Yeah, that's so true.
Speaker 1: I feel like it's it's so weird we talked about
Speaker 1: sex to everyone except the person we're sucking Exactly. I
Speaker 1: have no problem telling my girlfriend like he just I
Speaker 1: wanted them to do this, and then it's like we'll
Speaker 1: tell him you know. But something is as simple as
Speaker 1: saying you know instead of like the asha partner is
Speaker 1: this good? And they have this like blank stare on
Speaker 1: their face and they don't know what to say at
Speaker 1: that moment, like a seeing better question? Do you want
Speaker 1: it harder or softer? Do you want more? Right, So
Speaker 1: people actually know how to answer you, and then you
Speaker 1: know what to do with the answer higher or lower.
Speaker 1: You know how to respond to it. So asking asking
Speaker 1: better question is a simple not just be like do
Speaker 1: it better, do it better? Horrible? Note ow ow good
Speaker 1: or um? What kind of advice do you have for
Speaker 1: couples who have very different sexual needs or likes, Like, say, hypathetically, like,
Speaker 1: I'm a person who really likes getting hit, um, and
Speaker 1: my partner feels uncomfortable hitting me hard enough. Like, what
Speaker 1: would you say? I think that I don't know what
Speaker 1: all the laughter is about. Guys. We really have to
Speaker 1: be a little bit more grown up about sex. I
Speaker 1: think it really depends, you know. I think the pressure
Speaker 1: to to feel like you have to be a sexually
Speaker 1: compatible with the partner you have. It's a really stressful thought, right,
Speaker 1: So if you could, I think when a couple could
Speaker 1: come together and realize that you don't have to be
Speaker 1: compatible on every aspect of your sexuality will give some
Speaker 1: room for growth in the first place. And if both
Speaker 1: if just say, one person is more dominant and and
Speaker 1: and and wants to hit, and one person both of
Speaker 1: you wants to hit, it's not going to be that
Speaker 1: fun right shit each other right, So finding sexual compatibility
Speaker 1: is really important. And if you don't have that sexual compatibility,
Speaker 1: if you're able to have a conversation having some of
Speaker 1: those um um needs met by someone else, if they
Speaker 1: open to it, it's also or you could actually choose
Speaker 1: not to have those itch tickle right because um, if
Speaker 1: you have that sexual desire but it will ruin your relationship,
Speaker 1: you could go like, maybe we just don't do that
Speaker 1: with each other, you know, or that's something that I
Speaker 1: just don't do. So and people sometimes willing to compromise
Speaker 1: and give up on those things but able to you.
Speaker 1: But finding um compatibility it is more of a conversation
Speaker 1: and a dialogue first, and if you're not really into it,
Speaker 1: you don't have to do it. But I think it's
Speaker 1: important to try any things. So yeah, absolutely, Okay, let's
Speaker 1: just go home and be like hit me harder day, um,
Speaker 1: but go to a class, you know, let someone else
Speaker 1: do the teaching. I think it's really important sometimes because
Speaker 1: where we find classes, you can find it on kind
Speaker 1: of play dot com. Crazy true, how convenient? No, but
Speaker 1: how do you like? So? How like? I think the
Speaker 1: notion of going to a sex class for a lot
Speaker 1: of people, myself included, is like not appealing, So how
Speaker 1: if you're if you're trying to sell me on this.
Speaker 1: Besides the educational benefits that I would get from it,
Speaker 1: like how can you make me not kind of creeped
Speaker 1: out by this? I was actually really surprised because when
Speaker 1: I was teaching the play lab format. So a play
Speaker 1: lab is, if you can imagine, like sort of a
Speaker 1: hybrid of the TED talk to a yoga class. So
Speaker 1: I give a TED talk first, right, the lecture part
Speaker 1: and the their intellectual understanding. Then I normally do a demo.
Speaker 1: I show people the technique. It could be like female
Speaker 1: ejaculation or a know, I do it to my model
Speaker 1: for us and show it and yes, yes, yes, and
Speaker 1: then there um um. And then the third is that
Speaker 1: I let people practice like a yoga class. So you
Speaker 1: start with different poses, so different technique, and you do
Speaker 1: one by one, but not with the entire class. You
Speaker 1: have your partner and you do it one at a time.
Speaker 1: In the beginning, I thought New York where people would
Speaker 1: go crazy, you know, to a event space in Bushwick,
Speaker 1: right and try that kind of class. But I was
Speaker 1: really surprised how comfortable people get because they realized is
Speaker 1: it really about the education. And also in some way
Speaker 1: that I know most people will not just show up
Speaker 1: to my class. So I've been doing a lot of
Speaker 1: life Facebook live and show part of my presentation so
Speaker 1: people get to get experience online first, and I give
Speaker 1: a lot of give away a lot of content. I
Speaker 1: do this pay what you can model so more people
Speaker 1: have access to my work. So on my website that's
Speaker 1: a lot of free content so you could watch it
Speaker 1: first and get to see what it's like before you
Speaker 1: make that decision. So people just have anal So in
Speaker 1: these classes, the couples will just go off and just stay.
Speaker 1: They're not going off. They do it like a yoga class.
Speaker 1: So they all does everyone I mean, what's the different?
Speaker 1: I mean, like do you go through the steps of
Speaker 1: like take off your underwear and then everyone takes off
Speaker 1: their underwear? All right, whoever wants to get up the
Speaker 1: aspens over? And then whoever wants to get up the
Speaker 1: aspens over? But then you can't just stick the ticket. Well,
Speaker 1: you can practice a lot of manual sex first. I
Speaker 1: think learning what your hands is really important because you
Speaker 1: have more sensitivity and more control, right, so I think
Speaker 1: also a no play. Like most this is a question
Speaker 1: that I get get asked a lot. How do I
Speaker 1: get my girlfriend to try anos about it? How do
Speaker 1: I get and I do have answer? Be good at
Speaker 1: everything else first? Right? Oh that answer answer? You're not
Speaker 1: gonna love this. I love it. You're not gonna let
Speaker 1: someone who's bad at fingering. You know it's so smart
Speaker 1: you haven't earned it yet. But there's like you know,
Speaker 1: there's panf stretching for your anus, which most people don't know, like,
Speaker 1: don't know that technique, like so pianos stretching is similar.
Speaker 1: Like I used to be a personal trainer. First, right,
Speaker 1: so you learn how to stretch your hamstring by like
Speaker 1: you push again someone stretching you, and then you relax
Speaker 1: and they allows you must have to stretch a little
Speaker 1: bit more. So you could do that with your anus too,
Speaker 1: And most people don't know how to do that. So
Speaker 1: I like teaching that technique to learn how to have
Speaker 1: more anal control. How how tell can you tell us?
Speaker 1: Or do I have to be maybe tell? Right? So
Speaker 1: this is imagine this is butth hole right? Can you
Speaker 1: guys see I can't wait till we release this and
Speaker 1: everyone at home. It's done. He's fist. Okay, So this
Speaker 1: is the an s. You rub it a little bit
Speaker 1: first and make sure you are so if you're touching
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter it's male body or female body. You
Speaker 1: want that person to be aroused and turn on. It's
Speaker 1: not like, honey, drop your pants and go touch your asshole. Right,
Speaker 1: So you want to and sometime having for for female
Speaker 1: body you might be having all gasm first would really help, right,
Speaker 1: loosening things up and getting into there in the game.
Speaker 1: Same thing for guys like edged do a little edge
Speaker 1: play right, So get them up to almost coming. Don't
Speaker 1: let them come and then play with it. But it
Speaker 1: helps your arousal is key. So you start rubbing a
Speaker 1: little bit right, and then make sure you have a
Speaker 1: lot of loop right, and wear a glove, wear a
Speaker 1: latex glove or whatever glove that you like. Do you
Speaker 1: have to like a winter glove, like a winter gloves
Speaker 1: like the one that you can still play with your iPhone.
Speaker 1: You got jokes cann of come. So what you want
Speaker 1: to do is you want to press on their anus
Speaker 1: opening just a little bit first, right, and then listen,
Speaker 1: and then you ask a partner to squeeze right, squeeze
Speaker 1: your buttle like you fop, like you're push against when
Speaker 1: they're squeezing, and when they relax that moment, you tell
Speaker 1: them to relax. This when you slip your finger in
Speaker 1: a little bit right, so your first everyone's everybody do
Speaker 1: it with me. I gotta have I gotta have your
Speaker 1: podcast where everyone in the world squeeze that buttles together.
Speaker 1: A ready, a very beautiful connective moment. Everybody, everybody squeeze
Speaker 1: your bottle and now relax good, Okay. One is your
Speaker 1: finger is about inch in, like a little bit of
Speaker 1: a quarter of an inch to an inch. What you
Speaker 1: do is you ask your partner to squeeze as tight
Speaker 1: as they can, but you pull down on one direction.
Speaker 1: You hold it for seven seconds and tell them to relax.
Speaker 1: When they relax, it would open up and you stretch it.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, and then yeah, then you get that
Speaker 1: and then you do that again on all four sides.
Speaker 1: So you squeeze seven seconds, relax and then squeeze and
Speaker 1: then relax, and you do all four side and finished
Speaker 1: with the four side, they would feel more connected with
Speaker 1: the anus, right, so they feel right, And then you
Speaker 1: have and then when you tell them to squeeze and relax.
Speaker 1: You could actually feel, and then when you we want
Speaker 1: to do any type of manual sex or be penetrated,
Speaker 1: then you could feel and you could work with that
Speaker 1: language because now you guys could loop together. Right, So
Speaker 1: that's one of the anal sex hack. Who damn it, Kenn,
Speaker 1: if you did it again? I think this is the
Speaker 1: only New York Comedy Festival show that has sex bonus
Speaker 1: Please me and a gryt curban people squeeze our buttles
Speaker 1: together some time episode have you do you have boundaries
Speaker 1: in your personal sex life, like things you won't do
Speaker 1: like I feel like you don't but really into medical play?
Speaker 1: So is my god, damn it, that's the one thing
Speaker 1: I needed. Maybe maybe a little bit needle play I
Speaker 1: could play. I seem the craziest medical play because is
Speaker 1: it just like you got a bunch of medical instruments
Speaker 1: and you're like, let's play with it. No, I don't
Speaker 1: know anything. This might this this, this, this might be
Speaker 1: a little little like trigger wanting. This might be a
Speaker 1: little we don't do those they know what they Signif
Speaker 1: so um Hacienda has we throw some pretty legendary sex party,
Speaker 1: I would say, and then we do this immersive theater
Speaker 1: experience and the last one we did. The last one
Speaker 1: we did is called the Doctor is Ready to see
Speaker 1: you now, so anybody could dress at any doctor they
Speaker 1: want to do. And it was one scene at that party,
Speaker 1: and then we will let people know that is happening
Speaker 1: where this dom put a sack of sale into this
Speaker 1: guy's testicle in this ball, not in his testicle and
Speaker 1: his balls. So his boss swore up like grape food.
Speaker 1: Why now, you may say, why exactly? Stop sailing testical
Speaker 1: shaving guys curious, Let's let's not my ball's hurt that
Speaker 1: I don't even have um, but let's not yuck other
Speaker 1: people's yum. I think is is, don't you other people's young?
Speaker 1: But I think I think medical play is is something
Speaker 1: beautiful for a lot of people and that they really
Speaker 1: enjoy it. For some people it is not. Well, a
Speaker 1: lot of guys love getting hit in the ball like
Speaker 1: and they love it. They love it. If you don't
Speaker 1: love it, then you don't love it. That's fine. But
Speaker 1: a lot of people love it. So yeah, everyone's in
Speaker 1: a different ship. I'm just I'm curious, what the is it?
Speaker 1: The wonderment of the balls getting bigger. That's like arousing
Speaker 1: or I am not sure. It's not interest king, but
Speaker 1: I think it's beautiful that people feel comfortable enough to
Speaker 1: explore their sexuality in this way and to have a
Speaker 1: community that doesn't yuck other people's young. So so that's
Speaker 1: also is there, like I mean some stuff like that,
Speaker 1: though I worry about like medical play. Is there any
Speaker 1: actual harm or danger in doing something like that? I
Speaker 1: think is that checked on? Or? Of course? I think
Speaker 1: I think with any type of um more of an
Speaker 1: advanced sex practice, there's risks, but I think they're being
Speaker 1: risk aware and the people who do in it, our
Speaker 1: professionals are trained so and then everyone is in the
Speaker 1: scene know what they're doing. So I think it is
Speaker 1: having a really you know what we call its responsible hitdenism,
Speaker 1: So you have to be really responsible our hitanistic behaviors.
Speaker 1: That's great. What other kinds of things are involved in
Speaker 1: medical play? I'm so curious, like, just like really not experts.
Speaker 1: It's blood play considered medical play? Yeah, I thought so, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: but honestly, I don't know how we should interested to
Speaker 1: hear you're talking about doesn't sound like the worst time,
Speaker 1: but you know, Now, how does someone get to be
Speaker 1: a resident at the hacienda. Um, they apply? I mean
Speaker 1: people could go now is uh bushway cassi and the
Speaker 1: villa is our website and people get to see our
Speaker 1: principle and mission and they submit application, we meet them,
Speaker 1: and it's really about finding someone who we want to
Speaker 1: live with, because it's at home first before part before. Uh.
Speaker 1: Some people call that sex house for us is really
Speaker 1: a community. No, I know you told me that I
Speaker 1: keep forgetting the verne. So it's like a regular like
Speaker 1: the way you would interview someone who you're with. It's
Speaker 1: like the craziest co opum giview that you would, Right,
Speaker 1: what kind of questions can you share? Questions that you
Speaker 1: ask people? What what is the pronoun you prefer? So
Speaker 1: people get to yeah. So, um, we we celebrate all
Speaker 1: gender or sexual orientation. Um. We have actually really diverse community. Um.
Speaker 1: And one of the question is what sex positive culture
Speaker 1: it means to you? So and our mission is to
Speaker 1: really make sex education UM and value and culture and
Speaker 1: more accessible to the mainstream audience because you know a
Speaker 1: lot of us live in a bubble and and this
Speaker 1: is a kind of a weird things to say. If
Speaker 1: I ever have a daughter, I would feel much safe
Speaker 1: for sending her to one of our community sex party
Speaker 1: then sending her to Cancoon doing spring break because I
Speaker 1: want the same thing, right, but they don't have the
Speaker 1: culture and their intentionality behind it. Yeah, and then you
Speaker 1: don't know who's there, and it's like with with those
Speaker 1: kinds of environments, safety and consent, and that's something that's
Speaker 1: a huge priority. And it's one of the safest places
Speaker 1: to have sex because there's a supply of condoms. Everyone
Speaker 1: has more open communication about what's going on with their
Speaker 1: bodies and what they want and and if you're weirded
Speaker 1: out for any reason, there's people you can go to
Speaker 1: and it'll be addressed. So it's it is such a
Speaker 1: safer that's why people listen as podcasts that are like
Speaker 1: a left I'm like, well, you could be looking at
Speaker 1: porn and getting very wrong information, so I guess it
Speaker 1: can't be I get it, you know, So it's good
Speaker 1: to get wrong information from us. That's why we Kenny, So,
Speaker 1: did you have to go through any legal hoops to
Speaker 1: set up the house or is a secret out on
Speaker 1: the press. I'm totally oppressed or lately, so I want
Speaker 1: to get the message. I want to get the message
Speaker 1: really explorative. So yeah, yeah, I sell myself oppressed. Um,
Speaker 1: but it's also legal to have sex party in New York.
Speaker 1: So and check with a lawyer. I'm not well now
Speaker 1: I know we're doing Everyone just got a night Yeah
Speaker 1: there like our apartment? Right, Yeah, Well people have sex
Speaker 1: set parties, sometimes hidden, that's true for sure, sometimes not hidden. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's kind of ironic. Right, you go to a place
Speaker 1: to party and you really want to hook up, and
Speaker 1: then you have to go find another inconvenient Yeah, because
Speaker 1: you can go to these sex parties and not have
Speaker 1: sex not Yeah, and only enthusiastic consent. We don't pee
Speaker 1: a pressure anybody doing anything. You could stop at any time.
Speaker 1: What happens if and I know this is more of
Speaker 1: a negative terment, I don't Maybe there's better words I
Speaker 1: can use. What happens if you get a creeper? The
Speaker 1: first thing is we actually I think it's actually really
Speaker 1: important to educate people first and give them generous assumption.
Speaker 1: Just because people have some creepy behavior, they might not
Speaker 1: know that they do in it, or they'd be new
Speaker 1: to the environment. But we we, uh, we do a
Speaker 1: lot of education beforehand too. So one of my colleague,
Speaker 1: Fie Blue, she teach a sex party etiquette class so
Speaker 1: people could learn about the etiquette of a sex party,
Speaker 1: very very similar to going to have dinner with the president.
Speaker 1: You want to learn to get together, very similar, you
Speaker 1: know what types of things? Um, Have you ever had
Speaker 1: that a situation where so I was like, hey, that
Speaker 1: guy's just staring all the time. And it's not all
Speaker 1: the time. Actually it's a little bit less because we
Speaker 1: really can't control who comes in. Like no, we do
Speaker 1: because our part is not public, invite only and set
Speaker 1: it for um and the person who invite you are
Speaker 1: vouching for you, so there's a lot of safety mechanism.
Speaker 1: We also give a new b orientation a consent class
Speaker 1: before if their first time or they come. But we
Speaker 1: put in a lot of effort to do that, you know,
Speaker 1: for our party. But there's some more public party where
Speaker 1: is you know, like Chemistry, everybody could go. There's a
Speaker 1: screen they're screening because they have our interview, membership submission process.
Speaker 1: But there's also a bigger swinger club where it's a
Speaker 1: little bit more public. But I still think that making
Speaker 1: this more accessible to everyone is our our goal. So, um,
Speaker 1: I think that's why we're putting a lot of the
Speaker 1: education online so people get to see it first and
Speaker 1: experience it. Shore you're doing cos work. Um, I want
Speaker 1: to know what is Were you always good at sex?
Speaker 1: Or were you know I was really terrible? That's why
Speaker 1: because you said, but like and what would you Okay?
Speaker 1: So if a guy has a micro dick, for example,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm just blowing out of my ask
Speaker 1: what what are something? There's so many other ways that
Speaker 1: they could please a woman. But what do you like?
Speaker 1: What if a guy? Do guys ever come to you like?
Speaker 1: I know, I'm not very confident in my penis? What
Speaker 1: can I do all the time because I talk about
Speaker 1: my penis eyes? First, I think is helping people come,
Speaker 1: you know, deal with this sexual insecurity. I think, you know,
Speaker 1: same thing with women. Women come up to me. Is
Speaker 1: my labia too long as it is normal? Is it weird?
Speaker 1: It's this very similar conversation. It's just too dark. Here
Speaker 1: is a skin, you know, weird shape stuff, right, it's
Speaker 1: my clip to being my clip hitting or whatever. That's
Speaker 1: all those stuff. And I think finding sexual compatibility is
Speaker 1: really important. I have lovers that do not like to
Speaker 1: be penetrated at all. Right, there's some woman really like
Speaker 1: us prefer a much smaller penis. Um. Bigger is not
Speaker 1: always better. It's really come down to the individual um. Also,
Speaker 1: can I get a race of hand participate? How many
Speaker 1: women could come from straight into course? Grace your hand
Speaker 1: if you come straight from intercourse, right just in to
Speaker 1: cross alone, no manual assimilation. Not that many of you
Speaker 1: out there, we look out right. So your penis, you're
Speaker 1: you're a lot of time your hand on your tongue
Speaker 1: as mightier than the swords a lot of Yeah, a
Speaker 1: lot of women don't come from penetration, but I feel
Speaker 1: like the majority. Yeah. So it's like every vagina is
Speaker 1: so fucking different. I mean every penis is too. But
Speaker 1: it's like women come so differently, and I feel like
Speaker 1: men come more similarly. Would in some way there's so
Speaker 1: much female biology privilege because a lot of women could
Speaker 1: have endless amount of orgasm and and it looks a
Speaker 1: lot better than my orgasm. Mine is like, oh, I'm coming,
Speaker 1: Oh is over? That's what you say, I'm coming, and
Speaker 1: I'm not, can it? So what? Okay? So a guy
Speaker 1: can get good with and also some literally, some women
Speaker 1: penetrative sex is not their thing, or they like a
Speaker 1: smaller penis. So I think finding someone who appreciate your
Speaker 1: body is really important no matter what body you have.
Speaker 1: You know. Well, I've talked to some women who like
Speaker 1: their vaginas are tiny. I don't know there's a medical term.
Speaker 1: I just don't really shallow. Yeah, and they yeah, some
Speaker 1: woman really hate their cervis being hit their entire time.
Speaker 1: And some women have cervical orgasm. So it's right, what's
Speaker 1: a cervical So I can have a cervical orgasm for
Speaker 1: some women? Right, So okay, So orgasm is not like
Speaker 1: it's like a check off bucket list that you like.
Speaker 1: Your body just worked differently for for some women, um,
Speaker 1: they could have their cervis stimulated to U fingers, dildos
Speaker 1: or whatever. There it's being touched, but it bypassed. They
Speaker 1: sent it used a vegas nerve so and then it
Speaker 1: goes up their bodies. So it's more of a full
Speaker 1: body sensation. And some women could experience that. Some women
Speaker 1: hate it. It's like out So it depends, you know,
Speaker 1: but how do you try? You just stick it up
Speaker 1: until you know, because with my this is a very personal.
Speaker 1: But my uh I remember Steven said to me once
Speaker 1: like I can't you have a longer service because I
Speaker 1: don't hit it with my penis and he has before
Speaker 1: with other girls, and I was like, okay, I don't
Speaker 1: know then that means, but whatever, okay? Sure? So is
Speaker 1: that something that I mean? Is there anatomy that's specific
Speaker 1: to if a woman can have that? Yes, every woman's
Speaker 1: vaginas every every woman is different. Your arousal is different,
Speaker 1: your sensation is different. I think discovering what's pleasurable for
Speaker 1: you is the key, rather than I go like I
Speaker 1: should be normal. I think normal in some ways the
Speaker 1: most dangerous word in sex. Yeah doesn't exist. Quote ken
Speaker 1: did you just think of that? Now? He's just he's
Speaker 1: just recycling stuff. But your delivering, Your delivery is great.
Speaker 1: It was so natural, very natural. So when you said
Speaker 1: you were used to be bad at text, what can
Speaker 1: you tell us about your first time you were? Remember it? Like?
Speaker 1: How old you are? Was Kenneth play like the first Tom? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I was, so I really want to get in fitness.
Speaker 1: When I was a teenager, so I was really skinny,
Speaker 1: I was like one twenty at this height and then um,
Speaker 1: I decided to be a lifeguard in Corney Island, was
Speaker 1: on the swim team, and I did not lose my
Speaker 1: Virginia two. I was twenty and that was less like
Speaker 1: six years of lifeguarding not getting laid. And that's really
Speaker 1: hard to do. You tried, you, but there's a lot
Speaker 1: of insecurity. I dealt withold and and I remember the
Speaker 1: first time, I was so nervous, and it's a lot
Speaker 1: of you know where I believe having an average sized
Speaker 1: penis is inadequate, Like it wasn't enough that a woman
Speaker 1: wouldn't be pleased, right, you keep saying average, By the way,
Speaker 1: when five point six, Wow, that was such a great answer.
Speaker 1: Fight so specific you measured that I worked with Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: so okay, then go ahead. So so but you now,
Speaker 1: when you watch a lot of pawn, right, you believe
Speaker 1: that if you don't have a porn star sized penis,
Speaker 1: you don't have a good penis. Same thing like if
Speaker 1: you don't have a poor star body, therefore you're not
Speaker 1: sexy or whatever model's body. So I think men deal
Speaker 1: with sexual shame the same way. And I love and
Speaker 1: the size queen out there. If you like a really
Speaker 1: big cock, love it all you want, you know, And
Speaker 1: if you're a guy that want to give a size
Speaker 1: queen and experience learned fisting by a really big dildo,
Speaker 1: get over your cock. You know, that's the other side
Speaker 1: of things. So it's learning how to give pleasure is
Speaker 1: more important. Yeah, get the enjoy you love it? Wait,
Speaker 1: what were you guys say? Those so fucking funny? Well?
Speaker 1: Dollar bill six inches? So just take a you got
Speaker 1: a big dick? Yeah cool? I mean the study I've
Speaker 1: shown that above average is what people prefer. Same thing
Speaker 1: like we sexualize thing like a bigger out of bigger
Speaker 1: boobs is what people are sexually towards. But it's not
Speaker 1: what arouses us. What we think we turned this on
Speaker 1: might not feel as good, So I really, you know,
Speaker 1: I think feeling good, having a good internal experience is
Speaker 1: really important too. How many of you have slept with
Speaker 1: a guy thought he had the best cock in the
Speaker 1: world and is terrible in bed? He just hump hum
Speaker 1: hum hump seeing the magic stick syndrome? Yeah, yeah, is
Speaker 1: there in uh you know, can you do like a
Speaker 1: one minute summuration summary? Summuration? Yeah, that's a word I
Speaker 1: made up. Yeah, makeup words quick summary of like how
Speaker 1: to make a woman score one on one. Not saying
Speaker 1: that every woman wants to or short or whatever, but
Speaker 1: if you're saying that it is possible because I have
Speaker 1: before and I don't. Actually, yeah, I'm curious what that
Speaker 1: looks like? Can I can I use your hanness my
Speaker 1: big volva? Honestly I was. I was telling Christine before
Speaker 1: the show was that you could have used my real
Speaker 1: but I think Carolines would get legally in trouble. I
Speaker 1: don't care. I'm just so curious. Normally I bring a
Speaker 1: vulva puppet. So I want you to put your hands
Speaker 1: like this, so I want you to face this way.
Speaker 1: So I want you to imagine this is the clitteress right,
Speaker 1: clarus is right here, vaginal opening here, and this is
Speaker 1: the bottom of the vaginal opening. So the pubic bone
Speaker 1: sits right here. So when you stick your finger in,
Speaker 1: are you put on top, Ladies, push your own pubic bone.
Speaker 1: You find it right right above that, which is about
Speaker 1: two and a half inches three inches depending on the women,
Speaker 1: that's usually the spot that feels good. Now, different women
Speaker 1: have different amount of um how deep they need to go,
Speaker 1: but it's not like eight inches in Okay, it's more
Speaker 1: for the cervix people who really enjoyed the deep spot
Speaker 1: touch or their cervix tother thing. Yes, so many things
Speaker 1: may Yeah, it's great. So it's really hard. Do you
Speaker 1: want to hold your mic? You guys? But I kind
Speaker 1: of need Can I actually do it right here? Can? You? Guys?
Speaker 1: You know I could do it here? You need to
Speaker 1: let what the fund is happening. You just let me know.
Speaker 1: We have a trust. So we're gonna treat this again.
Speaker 1: This is really like already and working it already. So
Speaker 1: what you want to do, what you want to do
Speaker 1: is when you insert your fingers, you're doing this rock
Speaker 1: or sign that I'm doing right here, right, so open
Speaker 1: up a little bit more right. My fingers are pointing
Speaker 1: down right. Her clips are still right here, so I'm
Speaker 1: rubbing her clip with my palm right and I'm not
Speaker 1: using my finger doing this because your fingers will burn out. Right,
Speaker 1: So that's the lack of acid threshold. That's my my
Speaker 1: fitness sign. And you don't want it. Oh I feel
Speaker 1: so good. If it was so good, I'll fun I'm
Speaker 1: burning I can't keep up. You don't want that stress, right,
Speaker 1: So you want to be able to use your entire body.
Speaker 1: So I'm actually rocking my hand up and down where
Speaker 1: I'm applying where I'm applying pressure to a clip, and
Speaker 1: my finger is a hook and the secret is using
Speaker 1: the back of my finger to push down towardsure anus.
Speaker 1: It creates an opening, and I'm pulling back up and
Speaker 1: I'm doing really unreservedly like this speed, and normally that triggers.
Speaker 1: Normally it triggers involuntary sensation. How many women are very
Speaker 1: turned out? Right now? Wow, you're good at this. How
Speaker 1: did you get so good at making people squirts? Just
Speaker 1: I'm curious, um if anybody has any specific squirt like
Speaker 1: questions for him. That's also your hands. This is so weird,
Speaker 1: but they feel really clean, Like I'm a psycho, I
Speaker 1: have like this really bad obsessive compulsive disorder, and like
Speaker 1: they're just so clean. So thanks you never like guys,
Speaker 1: wash your fucking hands. They're we stirred, yes, were gloves
Speaker 1: is really good for for any type of manual sex
Speaker 1: work clubs. It's great x. If you're not allergic to latex,
Speaker 1: you see a little bit more feel. It's also kind
Speaker 1: of scary, so it's just kind of hot, right you
Speaker 1: put on your glove and she's looking she's looking at you.
Speaker 1: Do what's he gonna do? Yeah? The other I think
Speaker 1: the other thing that I discovered not from from being
Speaker 1: a man and not having a vagina, which is really
Speaker 1: touching for me, A lot of squirting experience leads to
Speaker 1: a cry gasm. And and I never knew. I never
Speaker 1: knew why. Right, So I've been a cry gasm when
Speaker 1: you have a very emotional experiences. That's exactly what happened.
Speaker 1: I didn't know this work thing. I just thought it
Speaker 1: was a panic attack. No, oh my god, I can't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's crazy, right, I thought I was just an emotional wreck. Um. Wow.
Speaker 1: So I think the woman in the room when you
Speaker 1: start having sex, right, sometime you have feel like, oh
Speaker 1: I gotta pee, you know, that sensation out of nowhere.
Speaker 1: And then we've been women been taught their entire life
Speaker 1: that when they feel that sensation, they're in shame and
Speaker 1: they clinge, right, they clinge a little bit, and they
Speaker 1: don't want to pee. So they when you start thinking
Speaker 1: about like, oh ship, I don't want to pee. This
Speaker 1: is embarrassing, You're not no longer turn on and makes
Speaker 1: sex not enjoyable. So when it comes to your female
Speaker 1: ejaculation and having that experience, the goal is actually to
Speaker 1: bear down and push a little bit when you have
Speaker 1: that sensation, right, which is like crazy, like and I
Speaker 1: see some faces right, piss the bed. But when you
Speaker 1: really and and a lot of sexual experience is really
Speaker 1: about surrendering, letting go. I mean you finally let go
Speaker 1: and you have this experience, A lot of women cry
Speaker 1: because they go like, oh, I lever, I never had
Speaker 1: let myself really let go. Oh It's like, okay, was
Speaker 1: that experience? Yeah, I'm always crying just like is going on?
Speaker 1: I can't just like stretching that bothole. Um. So I
Speaker 1: think that's a great idea. Actually, would you mind taking
Speaker 1: a few questions from the audience? Okay, so we have
Speaker 1: a few. You come to the side of the stage
Speaker 1: because we need you to use the mic. So just
Speaker 1: make like five people come over here and you can
Speaker 1: come on stage and ask your question. So that also
Speaker 1: forces you to not be ashamed about your question. Um,
Speaker 1: if you were raising your hand, you can just come up,
Speaker 1: or you can if you're near here, then I'll give
Speaker 1: you the mike here. Yeah, here you go, come on,
Speaker 1: we'll do it. If you're on Christian side. We have
Speaker 1: someone over here. Hello, let him through. Make these questions
Speaker 1: good to we have a genius here are you going? So?
Speaker 1: First of all, I want to thank you for doing this,
Speaker 1: because when you first came on the stage, I was
Speaker 1: like no, and then wait what when you walk on scene?
Speaker 1: And then when you started talking, I was like, and
Speaker 1: where's the good? I was like, I'm gonna show up.
Speaker 1: Thank you for that, But my question is not funny.
Speaker 1: Can I still ask you? Yes? Of course, and please
Speaker 1: don't feel bad for me. What I ask? Um? So,
Speaker 1: what happened? What do you do when people show up
Speaker 1: and they have had traumatic experiences and sex and how
Speaker 1: do you deal with that? Good question? And that's very
Speaker 1: common because unfortunately a lot of people have a lot
Speaker 1: of you know, have experience of abuse of sexual trauma
Speaker 1: and when that happened, you just basically have to slow
Speaker 1: down and take care of this person that is in
Speaker 1: front of you. And people who and this is not
Speaker 1: my work, my my partner, doctor John, and people who
Speaker 1: sometimes abuse gravitates to more, you know, like sex parties
Speaker 1: and that type of experience are half more sex. So, um,
Speaker 1: how we deal with it is actually just really important.
Speaker 1: Just to listen and don't try to fix anything. Um
Speaker 1: when we're talking about the cry godsum earlier for men,
Speaker 1: don't ask your partner why they're crying. Just whole space them.
Speaker 1: Emotions are welcome, right, and just stay there and don't
Speaker 1: just just be there for that person. So I think
Speaker 1: just showing up and just being witness of that experience
Speaker 1: is really important. And when that person do you want
Speaker 1: to share, you know, let them share. And there's other
Speaker 1: professional that I work with a deals really well with
Speaker 1: people with trauma. So so thank you, thank great question,
Speaker 1: thank you. All Right, So I'm still young and you know,
Speaker 1: relatively new to sex. So I guess my question is
Speaker 1: like what's like because I sometimes like I don't know
Speaker 1: it if I'm squirting or just like having a regular orgasm,
Speaker 1: and sometimes there's like a mysterious pile of liquid and
Speaker 1: I'm like where'd that come from? And like what you're
Speaker 1: staying with? Like it feels like you have to pee
Speaker 1: and then there's a release. I guess, like, what does
Speaker 1: like squirting feel like? Like? How do you know? I
Speaker 1: think every woman is a little different, but I think
Speaker 1: we put a lot of judgment on what is supposed
Speaker 1: to look like and feel like. So I think finding
Speaker 1: whatever is pledgeable for you. So if there's a puddle
Speaker 1: underneath you after sex and it feels great, then celebrate that.
Speaker 1: But one of but one of my but one of
Speaker 1: my sex hack that I really love is by and
Speaker 1: this might sound funny, by puppy pads right and put
Speaker 1: it underneath you. It's really it's really great because it's
Speaker 1: like hospital chuck. So for squirters, if you know that's
Speaker 1: a common experience that you have, you don't have to
Speaker 1: ruin your bed and buy some waterproof sheet and then
Speaker 1: just have fun with it. And it's and for some
Speaker 1: men or some whoever you sleep with, for some people
Speaker 1: is such a turn on and for them to see
Speaker 1: you do that. So find people who really celebrate that,
Speaker 1: you know, that part of your sexuality if there's something
Speaker 1: that you enjoy. Right. Also, I love you, guys to
Speaker 1: the bomb and I'm shaking because I'm this close to you.
Speaker 1: Thank you for for coming up all right this side.
Speaker 1: What are you texting that you're about to ask a
Speaker 1: really weird question? I love it? Get ready, guys, So
Speaker 1: first off, thank you for coming and it's a thrilled
Speaker 1: me to be on stage here with you. Thank you
Speaker 1: so like you didn't lose my Virginia old twenty Uh. Now,
Speaker 1: my question is now a lot of women I've had
Speaker 1: sex with them in one night stands approximately now, so
Speaker 1: scientific I love it. That's what I was talking from
Speaker 1: the exact percentage. So my question is that with one
Speaker 1: night stands, it's more about like like getting to that
Speaker 1: now for me personally, I was born without a sent
Speaker 1: to smell, so I'm better at at going down on
Speaker 1: a girl. It's because I'm immune to all smells because
Speaker 1: you don't have to smell that fucking pussy. So I know,
Speaker 1: but I don't think that's what you mean. That's just
Speaker 1: for that like now for you like has gotten women
Speaker 1: to squirt and stuff. How do you know like when
Speaker 1: a woman isn't isn't faking like faking what orgasm was? Well,
Speaker 1: that's a balid. There's a question. How how do you fake?
Speaker 1: How do you know if your partner is not faking?
Speaker 1: I think check in if you're not sure, right, because
Speaker 1: I'm not a mind reader, right to be it to
Speaker 1: call yourself a mind reader, I'll have to tell you
Speaker 1: there's some trick to know who's faking and not faking.
Speaker 1: But if you question if your partner is satisfied, check in.
Speaker 1: And I think it's really good to talk about sex,
Speaker 1: you know, especially not doing sex, So you might want
Speaker 1: to check in a little bit later when you're just
Speaker 1: having dinner or doing Netflix and chill. I go, like,
Speaker 1: I just wanted h Yeah, it's my favorite. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: learned it from him. So that's why we said at
Speaker 1: the same time, Um, so I think checking in is
Speaker 1: is really important. And if you're not sure, check in
Speaker 1: because a lot of time that we are waiting for
Speaker 1: our partner to ask, and ask in a supportive way
Speaker 1: that you know, I want to make sure that you
Speaker 1: know I could do whatever I can to make it
Speaker 1: pleasable for you. So check in if it's even if
Speaker 1: that one time, do you feel uncomfortable that with one
Speaker 1: night stands for someone that you may not know their
Speaker 1: name or like anything about them. You know, I like
Speaker 1: the most, I like them, I like I like the
Speaker 1: entire spectrum. I could have the most casual casual of
Speaker 1: casual sex. In fact, that the reason doctor John and
Speaker 1: I work together. We want to run the Casual Sex Project.
Speaker 1: So Casual Sex Project dot Com why people submit their
Speaker 1: casual sex stories around the world and we are we
Speaker 1: are teaching. She's finishing her book talking about casual sex
Speaker 1: or empower people that if you do enjoy casual sex
Speaker 1: just because you don't so just because you don't know
Speaker 1: that person's name and um, you don't have any attachment afterward,
Speaker 1: you still could celebrate casual sex. So it doesn't mean
Speaker 1: that oh if I just you know, have one, I stand,
Speaker 1: it's not meaningful. It was meaningful because I like casual sex.
Speaker 1: So so it doesn't You could have as many a
Speaker 1: much casual sex as long as it is safe and consensual.
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you. I mean you can just also
Speaker 1: ask people their names. But there's a you know, there's
Speaker 1: a group of people that actually it's the kink that
Speaker 1: they don't want to do any different. I don't think
Speaker 1: it's that guy's kink. I think it's just that's just
Speaker 1: my There's rooms they there's room at sex party. Some
Speaker 1: of them call the black room where it just pitch black.
Speaker 1: That's that's that's there's the level anonymous that you know
Speaker 1: people like. So whatever floats your bout. What's my question
Speaker 1: is that you said a lot of your sex life
Speaker 1: right now revolves around referrals. So are you taking referrals? Uh?
Speaker 1: Damn uh yes, yes ye. Yet you know, it's actually
Speaker 1: funny because having having more being a more of a
Speaker 1: public finger about sex, I'm actually sleeping with a lot
Speaker 1: less people and we're kind of talking about it in
Speaker 1: the back room because it's it's also being a man.
Speaker 1: The more the more privilege and power I have, the
Speaker 1: less I take advantage of sleeping with people because I
Speaker 1: don't do this work to sleep with more people, right,
Speaker 1: And it's actually really important for me to sleep will
Speaker 1: less people. So I don't hit on people in my classes.
Speaker 1: If people come up to me at an event, I
Speaker 1: always say, I don't flirt doing my events. If you
Speaker 1: do see me another time, and I'm complete different social
Speaker 1: setting when I'm not in charge, I would love to
Speaker 1: talk to you if I was interested, so and and
Speaker 1: and they're my colleagues and my my, my mentors. Takes
Speaker 1: that really seriously because I think that's sort of a
Speaker 1: cult ethics fill a sex educator to not make it
Speaker 1: about their own sex life. But I do take referrals. No,
Speaker 1: did thank you? Fuck? Yeah? Great answer, So we'll finish everyone.
Speaker 1: But here, so that this side. Now, Hello, how are
Speaker 1: you the manco in the house? Manco County? Yeah too fine.
Speaker 1: So my Questionsylvania reference. Some people decide that casual sex
Speaker 1: encounters are not for them and exclusive is the way
Speaker 1: to go. When you have a mismatch where you have
Speaker 1: one person with a higher sex drive, especially if that's
Speaker 1: the woman, sometimes the man might feel some shame or
Speaker 1: adequacy towards that. It creates a lot of pressure. What
Speaker 1: would you suggest to break through that? I mean, personally,
Speaker 1: that's why I like gang bangs because I think women
Speaker 1: it's not they're there. I mean, this is sort of
Speaker 1: an off answer, but I think there's something magical when
Speaker 1: a woman get to experience an abundance of male sexual energy, right,
Speaker 1: and they get they fall into the place where they
Speaker 1: could allow themselves to be insatiable, right. So it kind
Speaker 1: of enhanced the two. But if it's a mismatching sex drive,
Speaker 1: I think again it's more about communication because if and
Speaker 1: also men don't need to be pressured that we need
Speaker 1: to want sex all the time whenever sexist offer and
Speaker 1: a dick needs to get hard and media, I think
Speaker 1: that's a crazy expectation for men to have with sex
Speaker 1: as well. So I think it's a little bit of
Speaker 1: being honest with yourself about how much sex you want
Speaker 1: and how much what type of sex you want. So
Speaker 1: if it's a mismatch, then I think that's a deeper
Speaker 1: conversation that they need to talk about in the relationship.
Speaker 1: You know, or you could you know, like someone suggested earlier,
Speaker 1: you could masturbate next to that person while they're still
Speaker 1: sleeping they didn't whatever to get enough sex that that
Speaker 1: is right for you, I mean right for that individual.
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you, But do you take pleasure to
Speaker 1: your own hand, because we cannot blame a partner for
Speaker 1: being to satisfy right If you don't, you're not in
Speaker 1: charge of your turn on, you're not in charge of
Speaker 1: your arousal, you're not in charge of your pleasure, and
Speaker 1: you you give that responsibility away. I think that's no
Speaker 1: one wants to take that responsibility. So I think it's
Speaker 1: all of a collaboration that was awesome. So my question
Speaker 1: back to the whole squirting thing, is like, so when
Speaker 1: i'm as rate, sometimes I'll ask rate when I have
Speaker 1: to pee because it's like extra good, But I still
Speaker 1: will not like squirt because I feel like I don't
Speaker 1: want to ruin the sheets, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: And then yeah, right, so that I'm with that sort
Speaker 1: of but then like when I'm having sex also, I
Speaker 1: don't want to like have it, Like I don't want
Speaker 1: to have the first time with somebody that I'm not
Speaker 1: super super comfortable with. So at the same time, I'm
Speaker 1: just like, uh no, I'll be first and then we'll
Speaker 1: have sex, because I'm just like, I don't know if
Speaker 1: maybe I have to find that comfortableness with another person
Speaker 1: or maybe like I don't want to ruin their sheets,
Speaker 1: or like what's a better way to go about it
Speaker 1: when you're like a little bit nervous about it because
Speaker 1: you know it could happen, but you don't want to
Speaker 1: like ruin everything. Yeah, I mean, Washington, I send my
Speaker 1: Monday out, but I don't want to embarrass that girl
Speaker 1: that has to take my sheets, And like, what's this about?
Speaker 1: You know? I think that's a little bit more on
Speaker 1: the hook up etiquette part. Right, So if you are
Speaker 1: you known to be a squirting and you enjoy squirting,
Speaker 1: you go like, I just want to let you know
Speaker 1: I squirt when I when I'm really enjoying sex. Should
Speaker 1: we put some towels down, right, do you care? Do
Speaker 1: you want to do it in the shower. It's sort
Speaker 1: of like I don't want to compare it to here
Speaker 1: at sex, but just just like letting people know what's
Speaker 1: about to happen. And some people get so into it
Speaker 1: because they like that. So like I can get with
Speaker 1: period sex, but I just you know, I guess I
Speaker 1: just maybe have to be like extra comfortable. Well, I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: to piggyback off what he said. I think it's also like,
Speaker 1: if you're not comfortable enough with the person you're having
Speaker 1: sex with to give him a heads up about squirting,
Speaker 1: then maybe you shouldn't be having sex with that person
Speaker 1: to begin with. I suppose. But a little bit of
Speaker 1: communication goes a long way because you don't have to
Speaker 1: have a two hour conversation. That's the thing. It's like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to have to talk about it, but
Speaker 1: I want to just let you know, like, hey, i'd
Speaker 1: like to try this. You're the person first person I've
Speaker 1: ever tried it with, so just be mentally prepared. But
Speaker 1: I also don't want to have like a conversation about it,
Speaker 1: Like that's awkward. Yeah, maybe just stick with that all right,
Speaker 1: I'm with it. I can, but based on my experience,
Speaker 1: a lot of people enjoy it, so so so yeah,
Speaker 1: So it's like it's like handing people. Do you want
Speaker 1: some lobster? You know, it's kind of thing, thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you. Hopefully that person is not a vegan. Alright,
Speaker 1: two questions left. Hi, So you talk a lot about
Speaker 1: like preparing yourself internally and that how you're feeling internally
Speaker 1: effects like your sex life. I feel like I struggle
Speaker 1: with like trying to like get over overthinking things and
Speaker 1: like being super self critical. So how do you relax
Speaker 1: yourself and prepare yourself internally in regards to like insecurities
Speaker 1: or things like that. So I think the Tontra community
Speaker 1: and the King community have some amazing sex hacks that
Speaker 1: allows people to dive into their experience a little bit
Speaker 1: more so on the Contra sile. It's also just science. Um,
Speaker 1: if you take a deep breath in everybody doing it
Speaker 1: with me, I'm teaching, and next time make a sigh
Speaker 1: until you feel the vibration on your chest. Do it
Speaker 1: again inhale uh that activation of vegas nerve and when
Speaker 1: you're focusing on your inhale and exhale allows you to
Speaker 1: get back into your body and feel the sensation you feel,
Speaker 1: and if you have self critical thoughts, is like oh
Speaker 1: my cock is not big enough, or like I don't
Speaker 1: know what do I smell? Or whatever the case may be. Right, Um,
Speaker 1: I say it out wow actually now? Um So I
Speaker 1: think one of the things that people could relate is
Speaker 1: that am I taking too long? Is one of the things.
Speaker 1: So when we voice our struggle, we feel closer to
Speaker 1: our partners. So sometimes I'd be like, oh, am I
Speaker 1: taking too long for this blow job and just say it,
Speaker 1: and then I know that person is no now, so
Speaker 1: it release me up that stress and then I could
Speaker 1: go back into the experience. So I think about sharing
Speaker 1: whatever is happening for you authentically is good. And then
Speaker 1: sometimes sometime when you have when we're lucky and have
Speaker 1: a very supportive partner, is a really good bonding moment too.
Speaker 1: Then you could get over their internal dialogue because if
Speaker 1: it's a private conversation, it doesn't go away. You know
Speaker 1: what I mean? Awesome? Thank you? Stop it all right?
Speaker 1: Can I ask two questions? Yes? Okay? So the first one,
Speaker 1: so you're having text with the friends with benefits you
Speaker 1: know it's going all well, but then you're like, all right,
Speaker 1: I'm over it now what Yeah, when you over the
Speaker 1: sex of their relationship, the facts sex sex for like
Speaker 1: that night, you know, No, it's totally okay to stop
Speaker 1: sex whenever whichever partner wants to stop. I think that
Speaker 1: is like you're uncomfortable, just like you're just not into
Speaker 1: it anymore, you know. You know, it's so funny because
Speaker 1: I think at sex party or other, general perception of
Speaker 1: sex is that it ends when a men's come, which
Speaker 1: I think is I think, which is terrible. Right, So
Speaker 1: at sex parties, a lot of times that I'd be
Speaker 1: having sex, but I don't want to ejaculate because that
Speaker 1: might like end as an opportunity costs. So I might
Speaker 1: want to have more sex and not ejaculate too later,
Speaker 1: and then I don't want my partner to feel hurt,
Speaker 1: right because I did not choose to ejaculate in this
Speaker 1: particular engagement. So I think having having so so, So
Speaker 1: I think it's okay when whichever partner wants to stop
Speaker 1: at any time. And I think it's really important to
Speaker 1: when someone tell you they're not into it anymore or
Speaker 1: what whatever it is acknowledge it and say thank you
Speaker 1: for letting me know, because hold the fun I mean,
Speaker 1: I mean except a kink scene that is designed that way.
Speaker 1: Who wants to fun people and they don't want to
Speaker 1: be fun. It's not that fun, right, And I think
Speaker 1: that's part of it, is like I've always been like,
Speaker 1: all right, well, I guess I'll just let him finish
Speaker 1: like whatever. But then I'm still not finishing, so that's
Speaker 1: not fair. So in that case, I think taking pleasure
Speaker 1: to your own hand. I don't think you know, can
Speaker 1: I can I share something really quick? I think penis
Speaker 1: owner when we have a penis, when we start learning
Speaker 1: have sex, we know how to move a body to
Speaker 1: make ourselves feel good, right, But women don't necessarily feel
Speaker 1: the same way about their clitterers, about their their their vagina.
Speaker 1: So rub your clip when he's sucking you get yourself.
Speaker 1: Next question, how do you incorporate toys without being awkward
Speaker 1: with like a like a friends with benefit or maybe
Speaker 1: a one night thing or it's not. I don't think
Speaker 1: it's awkward. I go like, I really enjoy touring and
Speaker 1: and and I love a vibration on my clipton and
Speaker 1: feel your cock inside on me is how you talk
Speaker 1: about it. Also, also it was easy to say that
Speaker 1: it makes me want to like, you know, ryokock or whatever.
Speaker 1: It's authentic for you. And I really want to change.
Speaker 1: I want to change the conversation about I love sex
Speaker 1: toys and I love sex toy hack and I'm doing
Speaker 1: a whole of a social next month this month about
Speaker 1: how to use sex toys with partner. And I really
Speaker 1: want men to start thinking about sex toys as power tools, right,
Speaker 1: and to feel like a sideboard, right, Like who the
Speaker 1: funk want to use a screw driver when you have
Speaker 1: a screw gun. That's kind of crazy, like Wilson, Wilson, awesome,
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you all right, last question has to
Speaker 1: be the last one. Thank you for sitting. Um, So
Speaker 1: this is for any three of you guys, but um, basically,
Speaker 1: I'm just curious, like how you guys feel about face
Speaker 1: time and getting off, because I have been asked by
Speaker 1: a guy to face I'm while he's getting off and
Speaker 1: he finds pleasure in that, and I did not do that,
Speaker 1: or kind of. He basically faced on me twice and
Speaker 1: I ignored it, but I didn't. Just curious, like what
Speaker 1: is your thoughts on that. Wait, he just likes to
Speaker 1: jerk off while you watch via facetimes. He wanted me
Speaker 1: to watch via FaceTime and I think that's cool. I
Speaker 1: would do it. But if you don't like it, don't
Speaker 1: do well. I mean I've never done it before, so
Speaker 1: I was just like kind of taken aback by it.
Speaker 1: But like what reason? I mean, try it once. If
Speaker 1: you don't like it, never do it again. Okay, what
Speaker 1: is your internal dialogue about that? What are you thinking?
Speaker 1: Like do I say something when he's masturbating or like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know so well, I think asking him, do
Speaker 1: you want me to be like your webcam girl and
Speaker 1: get you off versts that you just want to witness? No,
Speaker 1: I think he just wanted me to witness. And then
Speaker 1: you got to ask yourself as an eternal on for you,
Speaker 1: and is it is it? Is it good enough for
Speaker 1: you to give a first try you don't like it,
Speaker 1: you can always say no, that's not my thing, right,
Speaker 1: But if you just have sometimes hesitation about privacy or whatever,
Speaker 1: just talk about your concern. If the concern is not
Speaker 1: it cannot be addressed, then you could choose to say no.
Speaker 1: But if you have internal concern that he doesn't know.
Speaker 1: Then he just not really show why you're saying no,
Speaker 1: So I think yeah, so so answer that on the
Speaker 1: face time. Okay, cool, that's your checking. Thank you guys
Speaker 1: so much. Guys give oh sir, you are everyone. Where
Speaker 1: can we find more about you? Um? You can find
Speaker 1: me on kenneth play dot com. If you guys are
Speaker 1: still curious about the squirting, that's a squirting hack thing
Speaker 1: that you could download right now. I'm gonna do that
Speaker 1: as a video. Kenneth. Thank you so much these questions.
Speaker 1: You are amazing guys. Thank you so much for coming
Speaker 1: out to guys. We Fox the anti sludge any pop
Speaker 1: at a good time. But yeah, we really appreciate you
Speaker 1: so much. And we'll talk to you next week. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I say, I know this will be in the bar
Speaker 1: area and maybe I'll taking a picture on Instagram tag
Speaker 1: meeque I kind of play thank you. Oh, Kenneth, you
Speaker 1: a little horror. I've been driving in this California so
Speaker 1: I'm just to get a moment with you, get all
Speaker 1: these oh when I'm in the basement. Th m, hmmm,
Speaker 1: I haven't sitting on some California wife. Everything's fine, but
Speaker 1: not an surrounded by I haven't puffing on some California
Speaker 1: coach on the game about my life and where they were.
Speaker 1: Got around, Run,