Speaker 1: It's hard when a relationship ends, especially a relationship that
Speaker 1: has promised and potential. If nothing changed at all, Can
Speaker 1: I stay here? Will this be healthy?
Speaker 2: Sometimes our experiences set them more for our cures, and
Speaker 2: we also have to realize they are different. Sometimes we
Speaker 2: have to dig deep and think about who we are
Speaker 2: in order to give them what they need.
Speaker 3: What's up? What's up?
Speaker 1: It is your girl, Sarah Jakes Roberts. We are back
Speaker 1: for another episode of the Woman Evolved podcast?
Speaker 3: How are you doing?
Speaker 1: Let me tell you, I am hoping that you get
Speaker 1: this on time, but I'm gonna be honest. I am
Speaker 1: late getting this to the team. But it is not
Speaker 1: because my heart is not in the right place. But
Speaker 1: your girl has been burning it on both ends. But
Speaker 1: I am so overwhelmed by the incredible response you have
Speaker 1: had to my new book, Power Move. So many of
Speaker 1: you have already received a copy, and I am starting
Speaker 1: to get feedback, which is is really blessing me. There
Speaker 1: comes a point when you know that idea is just
Speaker 1: between you and God, and now it's living and breathing
Speaker 1: outside of you, and it's open for feedback and criticism,
Speaker 1: and you know, call my therapist. But I'm always prepared
Speaker 1: for the worst, and when I receive good news, it
Speaker 1: really blows me away. So I am grateful this time.
Speaker 1: Next week I will be in full launch mode for
Speaker 1: the book. I've got some exciting opportunities coming up. But
Speaker 1: I am asking that you pray for me. We are
Speaker 1: going to be in Houston, Chicago, New York, Brooklyn, Atlanta,
Speaker 1: the DMV two times What's Up DMV Girlies, and Los Angeles,
Speaker 1: So I am soliciting your prayers as I go on
Speaker 1: the road. I'm asking that you would just say a
Speaker 1: special prayer over my family and my children. It's always
Speaker 1: challenging when I am away from them, and also just
Speaker 1: say a prayer or my strength that God would constantly
Speaker 1: restore and refuel me. In addition to us being in
Speaker 1: those cities, I've got some press and so I've got
Speaker 1: early mornings, late nights, and a good God that's going
Speaker 1: to give me strength throughout it all. How are you doing?
Speaker 1: What is going on in your world? I am praying
Speaker 1: that this podcast is finding you in a place of
Speaker 1: partnering with God's strength and not just out here doing
Speaker 1: things all on your own, recognizing that oftentimes when you
Speaker 1: partner with God's strength. It requires that you admit that
Speaker 1: you have some weakness. Sometimes partnering with God's strength allows
Speaker 1: us to feel like we are on top of the world.
Speaker 1: And then there are other moments when partnering with God's
Speaker 1: strength requires us to say, God, I need your help,
Speaker 1: I need your peace, I need your presence, I need
Speaker 1: your power. And I just want to encourage you to
Speaker 1: not be afraid to invite His pieces presence, his power
Speaker 1: into your life outside of Basically, I'm eating and breathing
Speaker 1: power moves right now, but outside that I'm doing okay.
Speaker 1: I am I'm eating better than I was eating. I
Speaker 1: was starting to crash out burnout, which means that I
Speaker 1: was in that drive through crashing out, burning out. But
Speaker 1: I'm doing better. I can't say that I am completely
Speaker 1: on the straight and narrow, but I'm doing better. I
Speaker 1: got some good rest this weekend. Let me tell you
Speaker 1: all something. Go and make sure you don't have sleep apnea.
Speaker 1: If you are waking up with headaches, or you go
Speaker 1: to bed and you're congested at night and you're not
Speaker 1: doing anything about it, you need to go talk to
Speaker 1: your doctor. Because one thing the girl had was sleep apnea.
Speaker 1: And I have this chronic congestion. At night time, there's
Speaker 1: something out. When you're laying down, the congestion gets worse.
Speaker 1: And I did not do my nighttime routine one night
Speaker 1: this weekend, and I woke up with a terrible headache.
Speaker 1: But the next night I was able to do all
Speaker 1: of my things and I got some good quality sleep.
Speaker 1: And so check with your doctor, check on your health,
Speaker 1: take care of you, Womni Bob, do all those things.
Speaker 1: You've been minded my business, It's time for me to
Speaker 1: mind yours. I want you to send me your advice
Speaker 1: questions to podcasts at a woman evolved dot com. Don't
Speaker 1: take yourself too seriously. You could even mind my business.
Speaker 1: If you want to know something about me, what's going
Speaker 1: on my world, how I handle something, I would be
Speaker 1: glad to share it with you. But if you want
Speaker 1: me to mind your business, let me tell you. Gotta
Speaker 1: be honest, one of my favorite.
Speaker 3: Things to do.
Speaker 1: Let's get into this week's mind your business question. I
Speaker 1: got this question in the inbox. It came to podcasts
Speaker 1: at womanevolve dot com. You can send me an email
Speaker 1: or you can write me, and it says I am
Speaker 1: a twenty eight year old married woman with an almost
Speaker 1: I can't say album be honest because there's a little typo.
Speaker 1: It's just that I'm a twenty eight year old married
Speaker 1: with an almost one year old baby. So I think
Speaker 1: she's married or I don't know if she's saying unmarried.
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I'm a rock with it. Since
Speaker 1: seeing you at the Whole Revival Tour, I turned a
Speaker 1: new leaf and decided to fully dedicate myself to remaining
Speaker 1: hopeful and seeking God more. I asked God before I
Speaker 1: learned I was pregnant, to give me a sign that
Speaker 1: would show me why I with, why I should end
Speaker 1: this relationship. Oddly enough, he gave me a baby, and
Speaker 1: long story short, my pregnancy and current postpartum experience has
Speaker 1: made it clear to me that this man is not
Speaker 1: for me. It's not giving husband. I think it was unmarried.
Speaker 1: I am at a point where my heart and my
Speaker 1: mind are both out the door. My feet are still
Speaker 1: in the doorway because of my current financial circumstances not
Speaker 1: making it easy for me to leave, and of course
Speaker 1: my daughter and being able to provide for her. I
Speaker 1: can say that my heart still has the urge to stay,
Speaker 1: but I feel like God is showing me little things
Speaker 1: that remind me of why I need to leave, but
Speaker 1: I am not sure. My question for you is, when
Speaker 1: you begin your journey, how did you know when God
Speaker 1: was trying to tell you to make a move. This
Speaker 1: is such an incredible question. Thank you for trusting me
Speaker 1: with this season of your life making a decision that
Speaker 1: is going to ultimately shape the story of your daughter's
Speaker 1: life and your life for the next few years. It's
Speaker 1: something that I do not take lightly. It's something I
Speaker 1: didn't take lightly when I was in your situation. I
Speaker 1: think as much as I wanted to give my child
Speaker 1: this idea of my children, this idea of a two
Speaker 1: parent household where they just had two people in the house,
Speaker 1: that I had to realize that there was more texture
Speaker 1: than just having two figures in the household. And part
Speaker 1: of that texture that I really wanted them to experience
Speaker 1: was having two parents who loved one another, respected one another,
Speaker 1: demonstrated healthy communication, work ethic, not to mention, having a
Speaker 1: foundational relationship with God. When I realized that I didn't
Speaker 1: just need a body to fill that role, I needed
Speaker 1: a really intentional person to fill that role. I recognized
Speaker 1: that I was in a bit of an uphill battle. Still,
Speaker 1: though I wasn't convinced that it was time for me
Speaker 1: to necessarily leave. What ultimately put me in a decision
Speaker 1: where I knew I needed to make a.
Speaker 3: Move was I realized that.
Speaker 1: I was going to deteriorate within that relationship, That my
Speaker 1: staying didn't just mean that, well, one of us could
Speaker 1: be healthy and we could try the best that we could,
Speaker 1: and the other one may have some challenges. I recognize
Speaker 1: that together we were going to create a dangerous, not
Speaker 1: just toxic, but a dangerous environment for my children to
Speaker 1: be raised in. And so I made the difficult decision
Speaker 1: to protect their safety mentally, emotionally, and perhaps even physically.
Speaker 1: By making that transition, I came to a place where
Speaker 1: I felt that one single parent who could control the environment,
Speaker 1: who could create stability and health and joy and that
Speaker 1: foundation of faith, was better than two people who were
Speaker 1: ultimately tearing one another apart. That doesn't mean that I
Speaker 1: didn't have to grieve what I thought the relationship could be.
Speaker 1: That doesn't mean that I didn't have to grieve what
Speaker 1: I wanted it to be. That didn't mean that it
Speaker 1: didn't feel like I was giving up on potential in history.
Speaker 3: It's hard when.
Speaker 1: A relationship ends, especially a relationship that has promise and potential,
Speaker 1: but being grounded in the reality of what it is
Speaker 1: allows us to kind of move with this question that
Speaker 1: we must ask ourselves, which is, if nothing changed at all,
Speaker 1: can I stay here?
Speaker 3: Will this be healthy?
Speaker 1: Can I stand by this choice if it stayed exactly
Speaker 1: how it is? Can I love this person exactly how
Speaker 1: they are? Can this be healthy exactly as they are
Speaker 1: with no changes? And can I stand by this being
Speaker 1: the environment that I raised my child in? For me,
Speaker 1: the answer was no. I don't know what the answer
Speaker 1: is for you, but that was part of what I
Speaker 1: came to. I will add that I didn't go from
Speaker 1: this isn't going to work to I'm completely fine and okay.
Speaker 1: There were levels to it. There was separation. I moved
Speaker 1: back home with my family. Was not in a position
Speaker 1: where I could financially support my children on my own,
Speaker 1: and so I had to humble myself. Me with my
Speaker 1: grown self and two kids, lived at home with my family.
Speaker 3: I had to.
Speaker 1: Work extra hard as we went through the transition to
Speaker 1: try and save so that we could ultimately get a
Speaker 1: place of our own, and so it was hard work.
Speaker 1: It wasn't as smooth of a transition as I think
Speaker 1: most people would like, where you can just walk away,
Speaker 1: go get your own place, have your own money. However,
Speaker 1: even with the difficult part of the transition, I'm still
Speaker 1: really grateful that I took a chance on wholeness, that
Speaker 1: I took a leap of faith.
Speaker 3: And I will tell you.
Speaker 1: That, even as I am thoroughly grateful for the life
Speaker 1: that I live now, I am really grateful that when
Speaker 1: my children look back at our life and our transition,
Speaker 1: they hold fondly the time in which it was us.
Speaker 1: I lived on a street called Benissa. It was us
Speaker 1: on Benissa, and they look at that and talk about
Speaker 1: it as if it was some of the most enjoyable, healthy,
Speaker 1: pivotal years of their lives. And it was just me there.
Speaker 1: And so I just want you to know that you
Speaker 1: can be an incredible single mother who creates an environment
Speaker 1: for your child to flourish and for them to experience
Speaker 1: divine wisdom, safety, protection. God will give you all of
Speaker 1: the resources and wisdom you need to raise your child
Speaker 1: if that is the route that God makes evidence for you,
Speaker 1: If God makes it clear that you're to stay I
Speaker 1: believe there's protection and provision in that as well. But
Speaker 1: it sounds like you already have an idea of what
Speaker 1: you need to do, and so I am praying that
Speaker 1: you get the courage to make that big, bold power move.
Speaker 1: I recognize that so much of what we learn about
Speaker 1: everything really starts at home. That's why having that healthy
Speaker 1: foundation can be extremely pivotal for the success of our children,
Speaker 1: the success of our families, not just in teaching them
Speaker 1: what emotional wellness looks like, what spiritual development and discipleship
Speaker 1: looks like, but also being courageous enough to really engage
Speaker 1: with them and in their world. Now, listen, honey, I
Speaker 1: don't know if you're like me. Some of you are
Speaker 1: probably out here checking all of the boxes. But if
Speaker 1: you are like me, there are so many things that
Speaker 1: I feel like I should be doing better, so many
Speaker 1: things that I wish that I could be doing to
Speaker 1: make sure that I was creating a consistent environment of
Speaker 1: attention and awareness for my children. And I gotta be honest,
Speaker 1: there are many moments where I feel like I fall short.
Speaker 1: But I am grateful for resources and organizations that go
Speaker 1: out of their way to make sure that we have
Speaker 1: the tips, tools and resources that we need. I want
Speaker 1: to put you on game right quick. If you know
Speaker 1: anybody who has children, you are a parent yourself, you
Speaker 1: are an educator. This is a podcast that you are
Speaker 1: going to want to share. While it is not necessarily
Speaker 1: about financialacy literacy, there is an undeniable correlation between financial privileges,
Speaker 1: financial knowledge and wisdom, and the environments in which we
Speaker 1: grow up in. When families are engaged in their children's lives,
Speaker 1: in their educations, in their overall well being, their opportunities
Speaker 1: for success educational success, which can ultimately to financial success,
Speaker 1: is exponentially higher. That's why when I learned about Learning Heroes,
Speaker 1: I knew that it was an organization that I wanted
Speaker 1: you to hear about. They are an organization that is
Speaker 1: dedicated to really living in the gap between what parents
Speaker 1: think about their child's grade level progress versus how their
Speaker 1: child is actually doing. They are focused on helping you
Speaker 1: get the accurate picture you need and deserve so you
Speaker 1: can best support learning at home. I had an incredible
Speaker 1: conversation with Tracy Potts. She is on the board of
Speaker 1: directors for Learning Heroes and she is a mother now
Speaker 1: a grandmother, an incredible communicator, motivational thought leader, in the
Speaker 1: community advocate that is going to give you all of
Speaker 1: the tools you need for us to experience equity and education,
Speaker 1: family engagement, and to eliminate health and educational disparities within
Speaker 1: our communities. Okay, Tracy, So I am I'm a blended family.
Speaker 1: We have six children total. I am in the trauma stages,
Speaker 1: as I like to call them, of raising a fourteen
Speaker 1: year old and an eight year old to eight year old.
Speaker 3: You know, she's doing well. School is still pretty straightforward.
Speaker 1: But with my fourteen year old, she's moving into the
Speaker 1: ninth grade, grades are even more important. We're talking about
Speaker 1: the PSATs and stuff. I am trying to serve her
Speaker 1: in being responsible and organize and staying on top of
Speaker 1: her grades, even though I can't really help her with
Speaker 1: her homework or anything else. I feel like this is
Speaker 1: one of the most stressful parts of parenting, and honestly,
Speaker 1: because it's traumatic for me, I'm ready to just like
Speaker 1: log off and tell her I earned my stripes. You
Speaker 1: got to earn yours too. But you are encouraging parents
Speaker 1: to be more engaged. Can we talk about that a
Speaker 1: little bit? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Absolutely, So I love that you called it the trauma
Speaker 2: stage of life because been there, done that, and I
Speaker 2: think every parent at some point Sarah feels like, am
Speaker 2: I going back to school? Here? We're parents, we love
Speaker 2: our kids. We want to do the best for them
Speaker 2: and make sure they have the best opportunities. But it's tough.
Speaker 2: Like I remember when my kids were in fifth grade,
Speaker 2: I was like new math, Like what is this new?
Speaker 2: I do not get it. I cannot. But we also
Speaker 2: know that for our kids to be successful in life,
Speaker 2: we need to make that happen for them. And so
Speaker 2: one of the things that I really connected with when
Speaker 2: I started working with learning Heroes was first of all,
Speaker 2: just that name, Like I wanted to be my child's
Speaker 2: learning hero. I wanted to put on a cape and
Speaker 2: make it happen. And really, what parents need to know
Speaker 2: is we are a very important part of that process.
Speaker 2: We're not the teachers, we're not in the classroom, but
Speaker 2: it's part of our role, in part of our job,
Speaker 2: to connect with the teachers. So we're in silos sometimes
Speaker 2: all at home trying to figure out, you know, how
Speaker 2: do I helpe up this homework, what's going on with
Speaker 2: these grades? I don't necessarily understand the curriculum, and I
Speaker 2: think the key here is for us to make that
Speaker 2: connection with the teacher and ask those very transparent questions,
Speaker 2: starting with how is my child? A lot of times
Speaker 2: will say how is my child doing? Very generically, but
Speaker 2: I think the better question to ask is is my
Speaker 2: child on grade level? Being a little bit more specific
Speaker 2: than prompts the teacher to say where your child may
Speaker 2: be doing well, right, they work really hard, or I
Speaker 2: see they're turning in their homework, but they may still
Speaker 2: not be on grade level. And we see that with
Speaker 2: a lot of children, So that then opens a better
Speaker 2: conversation about where should my child be and how can
Speaker 2: I help?
Speaker 1: Do you think that part of the reason why we
Speaker 1: don't do this? And I have to tell you that
Speaker 1: I believe that part of some of the stress that
Speaker 1: we experience as parents is just feeling inadequate and being
Speaker 1: able to properly take care of our children, whether it's educationally, financially, emotionally,
Speaker 1: and to have to take care of ourselves as well.
Speaker 1: Do you think that part of the reason why we
Speaker 1: see parents myself included listen, I'm not the pop calling
Speaker 1: the kettle black often disengaging, is that we're so overwhelmed
Speaker 1: and nervous that if our teachers tell us, hey, they're
Speaker 1: not on grade level or this is what it's going
Speaker 1: to take, that we may not be able to serve them,
Speaker 1: like what tools are available to us if we find out, hey,
Speaker 1: they are struggling. But oftentimes we feel like there's nothing
Speaker 1: I can really do about it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you're right, Sarah. We are working. We're
Speaker 2: trying to put food on the table literally right, get
Speaker 2: the kids in bed, We're trying to manage bills, we're
Speaker 2: trying to manage our own careers. Sometimes. You know, I
Speaker 2: was the mom who was very involved in the community,
Speaker 2: so maybe we're trying to do There's a lot happening.
Speaker 2: So a lot of times we feel like it's just me, right,
Speaker 2: it's on me, and I don't want to fail my child.
Speaker 2: I think that's what's at the at the foundation of that.
Speaker 2: There is help out there though. Remember teachers are professionals,
Speaker 2: they are trained to help our children, but they know
Speaker 2: a lot of children really well. We know one child
Speaker 2: very well, and so it really takes both. I think
Speaker 2: opening that line of communication starts to relieve some of
Speaker 2: that stress. One thing I used to hear from teachers.
Speaker 2: I was the parent advocate in my school for many years,
Speaker 2: and one of the things that I often heard from
Speaker 2: teachers is when we know a parent cares, we will
Speaker 2: work with that parent. So they want to know. They
Speaker 2: really just want us to open the door. Oftentimes, you know, teachers,
Speaker 2: especially in the last few years, have had such a
Speaker 2: challenging situation. Sometimes they have parents who are, as you said, stress,
Speaker 2: sometimes they get phones hung up on them. They really
Speaker 2: just want to know that we are opening the door.
Speaker 3: I love it.
Speaker 1: So you are described as an advocate for equity and
Speaker 1: family engagement, training parents how to speak up for their
Speaker 1: child and support learning, which I know is so important,
Speaker 1: especially for parents who are marginalized either by race or
Speaker 1: socio economic status. And this level of advocacy is required
Speaker 1: in order for our children to get the attention they need.
Speaker 1: Oftentimes our children are deemed problem children, or maybe they're
Speaker 1: seen as divisive what they in the classroom, but actually
Speaker 1: what they're asking for is help and support and meeting
Speaker 1: them in the way that they learn, and there are
Speaker 1: tools and plans. I'll never forget that one of our
Speaker 1: children was showing signs. We were at a public school
Speaker 1: and they were showing signs of just not being able.
Speaker 3: To keep up.
Speaker 1: And I think my biggest fear was, like, they're going
Speaker 1: to be held back, and if they're held back here,
Speaker 1: then that's going to follow them. And I was surprised
Speaker 1: to learn that there were so many interventions available for
Speaker 1: my child, but I had to be willing to have
Speaker 1: conversations with people who knew what they were talking about.
Speaker 1: You're part of an organization called Learning Heroes. Can you
Speaker 1: tell me a little bit about Learning Heroes and how
Speaker 1: it can help these parents to become more engaged about
Speaker 1: the resources that are available to them. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, So we work directly with parents. We also work
Speaker 2: directly with school districts a lot of times. A really
Speaker 2: important buzzword right now is family engagement. Every educator, every
Speaker 2: school district is talk about it. But what we do
Speaker 2: is help them do it effectively. So we're helping the
Speaker 2: educators reach out to parents. We're also giving parents tools. Look,
Speaker 2: the first time I connected with Learning Heroes was because
Speaker 2: of my child. I wanted to have a conversation with
Speaker 2: the teacher and I didn't really know what that conversation
Speaker 2: should look like. And we have ready to go tools,
Speaker 2: ready made tools, so, for example, the parent teacher conference,
Speaker 2: it usually only happens once a year, it's about two
Speaker 2: months into the school year, and then after that it's
Speaker 2: kind of if something's wrong, they'll reach out. That's not
Speaker 2: really how we want that relationship to go. So we
Speaker 2: have tools that walk you through how to prepare for
Speaker 2: that conversation, what types of questions to ask. It's important
Speaker 2: that we ask the right question as part of that conversation.
Speaker 2: What about the gaps during breaks in summer break. One
Speaker 2: of the things that we're really particularly concerned about now
Speaker 2: is summer learning, especially after the pandem As you said,
Speaker 2: it really shone a light on inequities that were already
Speaker 2: there in many of our marginalized communities for many of
Speaker 2: our children. What can we as parents do to make
Speaker 2: sure that our kids don't lose steam, so to speak,
Speaker 2: between May and August or September. There are a lot
Speaker 2: of resources out there. Many of them are free, many
Speaker 2: of them are offered through schools or community organizations. And
Speaker 2: oftentimes it's the teacher who can sit me down as
Speaker 2: a parent and say this is specifically where I'm seeing
Speaker 2: your child need some help and some support, and they
Speaker 2: know what those resources are in the community, so it's
Speaker 2: not always writing a big fact check to a tutor.
Speaker 2: Nothing against tutors, I've used them. They're great, but everybody
Speaker 2: does not have the capacity or the time right I
Speaker 2: was working overnights when my kids went to a tutor,
Speaker 2: so I was home in the afternoon. I could drive
Speaker 2: them to the tutor. Fact everybody doesn't have that opportunity.
Speaker 2: So teachers can really you in the right direction number
Speaker 2: one of what your child needs and where to find that,
Speaker 2: sometimes at no cost. At all. Businesses, community groups, they
Speaker 2: now get it they need to invest in education because
Speaker 2: we are educating their future workers. So there are a
Speaker 2: lot of businesses out there that are investing in these
Speaker 2: tools to help kids, and teachers, to me, I have
Speaker 2: found are really the start to find out where that
Speaker 2: information is.
Speaker 1: Look.
Speaker 2: I know that as a woman of faith, Sarah and
Speaker 2: I am as well, I often think about being my
Speaker 2: child's first teacher, right teaching them by the way, teaching
Speaker 2: them in the morning, teaching them. We are called to
Speaker 2: be our children's first teacher, and so as a family
Speaker 2: advocate and a parent advocate, the way I really often
Speaker 2: look at this is we have a place in education,
Speaker 2: and I think that is really the thing that I've enjoyed,
Speaker 2: empowering parents to understand that it's not about just you know,
Speaker 2: we don't just send our kids to church and expect
Speaker 2: them to come back holy right. That has to be
Speaker 2: done at home to reinforce that, to reinforce what they
Speaker 2: learned in Sunday school or what they heard. It's the
Speaker 2: same thing with school. We can't just send them to
Speaker 2: school and expect them to come back smart. So there's
Speaker 2: work on our side as parents to support that. And
Speaker 2: while it may feel overwhelming with all the other things
Speaker 2: that we're doing, it's part of our calling and their
Speaker 2: resources there to help us do it.
Speaker 1: So my boys were seniors during the pandemic and my
Speaker 1: youngest was just beginning kindergarten, and we had a homeschool
Speaker 1: teacher who was supporting us throughout the pandemic. But when
Speaker 1: I look at the stats, when I look at what's
Speaker 1: happening globally with education and even with artificial intelligence, I
Speaker 1: think that it would be such a mistake for us
Speaker 1: to not look at the implications of what those two
Speaker 1: years of not having hands on teaching could have done
Speaker 1: to the opportunities for our children. And then how AI
Speaker 1: is going to significantly change the workforce, you know, education,
Speaker 1: making sure that they have as short a foundation as
Speaker 1: it relates to education may be, you know, some of
Speaker 1: the only weapons that we have easily available to us
Speaker 1: as we seek to really establish financial wholeness and wellness
Speaker 1: and emotional wholeness and wellness for our family, as we
Speaker 1: recognize that opportunities are lack thereof create such a divide
Speaker 1: and our ability to experience you know, peace, wholeness, hope,
Speaker 1: enjoy as opposed to the depression and anxiety and frustrations
Speaker 1: that can come from having lack of opportunities. Do you
Speaker 1: think that my parents were big advocates for education. Do
Speaker 1: you think that we are still seeing that level of
Speaker 1: passion as it relates to being advocates for us education
Speaker 1: within our communities? And if not, how do we get
Speaker 1: to a place where we can restore that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a really good question, because like you, I mean,
Speaker 2: I feel and I have always felt with my kids,
Speaker 2: education is a gift. This is a gift. This is
Speaker 2: a lifelong gift that we give our children. It opens
Speaker 2: doors for them. It allows them to experience things now
Speaker 2: and later in life in terms of their career in
Speaker 2: terms of how they can provide for their families. This
Speaker 2: is something that I want my children to have. I
Speaker 2: have three children and two grandchildren, and they have all
Speaker 2: had different journeys with education. Our oldest started college. It
Speaker 2: wasn't you know, she struggled through high school. She started college,
Speaker 2: it wasn't for her. She's now in her thirties and
Speaker 2: she's going back and she has that self motivation to
Speaker 2: go back and earn a degree. Our middle daughter just
Speaker 2: finished a two year degree in four years. We had
Speaker 2: some learning challenges and she had to just keep and
Speaker 2: our job, you know, again, the parents job as motivators.
Speaker 2: We had to just keep telling her, just keep putting
Speaker 2: one foot in front of the other. You will get there.
Speaker 2: We have a son now who's in college and I
Speaker 2: really want him to put one foot in front of
Speaker 2: the other. That's the last one. Like we were like,
Speaker 2: we can get through this one. We're good. And now
Speaker 2: I'm thinking about my grandchildren. You know, there's eleven. They're
Speaker 2: just starting this journey. And so speaking to what you
Speaker 2: were talking about, it's a journey. It's a lifelong journey.
Speaker 2: To me, education is a lifelong journey. I had mine.
Speaker 2: I supported my kids. I'm now trying to support my
Speaker 2: grand I just joined the PTA at my grandson's school
Speaker 2: because I want to be there for him.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 2: But in the last couple of years, we have seen
Speaker 2: that motivation way. Look, I was the same mom as you.
Speaker 2: My son was a senior. My daughter had just started
Speaker 2: college when the pandemic hit, and I saw I saw
Speaker 2: the light fall from their eyes because it was so
Speaker 2: much harder to attain what we were telling them. You
Speaker 2: need to do well in school, you need to focus,
Speaker 2: but you know the mental health challenges. I mean, they
Speaker 2: were just alone. These are young people, right. You and
Speaker 2: I are more mature, like we can navigate that differently.
Speaker 2: But they were in these little silos all over the place.
Speaker 2: And I think there's a long term impact of that.
Speaker 2: I see it with my kids and many others as well.
Speaker 3: I totally agree.
Speaker 1: I got so much inspiration when you talked about your
Speaker 1: mettle daughter who just completed her two year program, Because
Speaker 1: my son is twenty one now. He was a senior
Speaker 1: during the pandemic. When he got finished through the pandemic,
Speaker 1: he was like, I'll never pick up a textbook again.
Speaker 3: And now he's.
Speaker 1: Finally just coming back around to the idea of you
Speaker 1: know what, I think that I'm ready to come out
Speaker 1: of that state of trauma. He's seeking to go back
Speaker 1: to school, and so even encouraging him to share some
Speaker 1: of his past experiences and past anxieties as it relates
Speaker 1: to school so that he can move into the career
Speaker 1: field that he has found interest in. Has been a
Speaker 1: beautiful journey. But I've been telling him just like I'm
Speaker 1: sure you know you've been telling your children, like it's
Speaker 1: going to take like one class, one lesson at a time,
Speaker 1: Like we don't have to do what everyone else has
Speaker 1: done in order for you to achieve some of those goals.
Speaker 1: All that matters is that you're trying. And I feel
Speaker 1: like the goal of Learning Heroes, for those of us
Speaker 1: who are in this parenting stage, is for us to
Speaker 1: come to a place where we no longer feel victimized
Speaker 1: by our educational experience, so that we can actively engage
Speaker 1: in supporting God our children in a way that they
Speaker 1: get to benefit from the lessons that we learned and
Speaker 1: that we are currently learning.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's what we call the campaign goal Beyond Grid.
Speaker 2: We focus so much sometimes on grades, but one of
Speaker 2: the key points of our campaign is that grades don't
Speaker 2: tell us the whole story. And our research over almost
Speaker 2: a decade now has shown us that grades you know
Speaker 2: your child brings home an AARB. We found that ninety
Speaker 2: percent of parents think that, Okay, the kid brings home
Speaker 2: an AARB, a's and b's, they're doing great. But those
Speaker 2: a's and b's reflect things other than educational achievement. If
Speaker 2: your child is trying really hard, even if they're not
Speaker 2: meeting the mark, that's reflected, and that's a good thing, right.
Speaker 2: If they're diligent, if they're responsible, they're turning in their homework,
Speaker 2: they're raising their hand, they're participating in class, doesn't always
Speaker 2: mean they're getting it. And so that's why we really
Speaker 2: have to go beyond grades and have those conversations. But
Speaker 2: I love what you said about your son. It does
Speaker 2: remind me a lot of my daughter. She at one
Speaker 2: point realized that she, because of her learning challenges, could
Speaker 2: not handle four classes at a time. That's pretty com
Speaker 2: so we just told her slow down, like take two,
Speaker 2: take three, do what you need to do to keep
Speaker 2: moving forward. I was a high achiever in school, and
Speaker 2: sometimes our experiences set the bar for our kids and
Speaker 2: we also have to realize they are different people. My
Speaker 2: kids are very different than me. I love them dearly,
Speaker 2: but they're different learners than I am. And so this
Speaker 2: was really a faith journey for me. I had to
Speaker 2: pray to figure out how to learn who my kids
Speaker 2: are and how they learn, and then how I can
Speaker 2: support them and meet them where they are without imposing
Speaker 2: my experiences on them. You know, for some some people,
Speaker 2: I love that first word you use, Like, some people
Speaker 2: were traumatized by school. Literally they don't want to walk,
Speaker 2: they don't want to be the parent advocate, they don't
Speaker 2: want to walk back into school ever for real. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you're just like that did not work for me. I
Speaker 2: don't want to be there. But they realize that their
Speaker 2: kids need them as part of that journey, And so
Speaker 2: sometimes it's a journey for us too.
Speaker 1: You Know, we talk a lot about breaking generational curses,
Speaker 1: and I think we consider some of the issues that
Speaker 1: have plagued our families. But I don't think that there
Speaker 1: is a generational curse more honorable than not just choosing
Speaker 1: what we want to break, but what we want to introduce.
Speaker 1: And as it relates to family engagement, I want us
Speaker 1: to consider what do we want to introduce to our
Speaker 1: children as it relates to being there, supporting them, understanding
Speaker 1: who they are, advocating for them and maybe the ways
Speaker 1: we weren't advocated for. And this is just a unique
Speaker 1: opportunity to say, you know what, I'm going to grab
Speaker 1: my cape, even though I needed rescuing at one point,
Speaker 1: and I'm going to get into my child's world and
Speaker 1: figure out what's the best way to help them navigate it.
Speaker 1: Some of the greatest gifts that we can give our
Speaker 1: children are not sitting on the shelves at stores. It's
Speaker 1: not something that we get as a result of our
Speaker 1: bank account. It's how we choose to show up for
Speaker 1: them and help them to see that you were not
Speaker 1: facing this on your own. I see you, and I'm
Speaker 1: going to make sure the world sees you and make
Speaker 1: space for you. I just can't imagine what would be
Speaker 1: more liberating than that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I love how you put it, like grabbing
Speaker 2: that cape and being there and just showing up. And
Speaker 2: it doesn't mean we have to have all of the answers.
Speaker 2: It doesn't mean that I have to completely understand how
Speaker 2: to help. There were lots of times I didn't understand
Speaker 2: how to help my child. My poor daughter and I
Speaker 2: cried through homework so many times until I realized that
Speaker 2: she was a different kind of learner than I was.
Speaker 2: And it actually ended up being my husband, who was
Speaker 2: very similar to her, who could help her a lot more.
Speaker 2: But just being there, like, I don't know about you,
Speaker 2: but I remember many times that school concerts, my son
Speaker 2: was in band, when he was in high school, awards, ceremonies,
Speaker 2: all kinds of events. Just seeing my child turn around,
Speaker 2: just doing are they there right? Mom? Say Okay, everything's
Speaker 2: going to be okay. Just showing up matters. It matters
Speaker 2: so much. We don't have to have all the answers,
Speaker 2: you know, our kids Sometimes my kids even now they're
Speaker 2: in their twenties and they'll come to me, Oh Mom,
Speaker 2: you know everything? Can you tell me this? I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: please stop right there.
Speaker 4: I do not know everything, but they just want to
Speaker 4: know that we are going to be there for them,
Speaker 4: and educational support is part of that.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: We have to be there for them in so many
Speaker 2: different ways. You have kids, You have six kids, Sarah.
Speaker 3: We're family, but there are six of them.
Speaker 2: We're a blended family as well, So I get that.
Speaker 2: But there are, you know, six souls of different ages
Speaker 2: that at some point need that wisdom that's there in
Speaker 2: our head or that faith that's there in our heart,
Speaker 2: and sometimes we have to dig deep and think about
Speaker 2: who we are in order to give them what they need.
Speaker 2: So that's why, to me, it's like we're on a
Speaker 2: journey along with them sometimes. But that's all good. That's
Speaker 2: all good.
Speaker 1: Absolutely well. I want to thank you for the work
Speaker 1: that you're doing. I love a good challenge, but this
Speaker 1: doesn't even feel like a challenge. It just feels like
Speaker 1: someone's grabbing your hand and laying the path out for you.
Speaker 1: I'm grateful for the work that you're doing and for
Speaker 1: the ways that we get to glean from it. So
Speaker 1: thank you for your time and having this conversation.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much. It's been great talking to you.
Speaker 2: I get encouragement seeing other parents like you who have
Speaker 2: a platform and a voice and are using it in
Speaker 2: a way to inspire other people. So I appreciate you
Speaker 2: having the conversation with me today.
Speaker 3: Beautiful, Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1: I really hope that that conversation was as helpful for
Speaker 1: you as it is for me. At this stage in
Speaker 1: my life, I am almost to the finish line with
Speaker 1: the report cards and teachers and all of the things.
Speaker 1: And I'll be honest, it can be very overwhelming trying
Speaker 1: to keep up with all of the things that I
Speaker 1: am supposed to be doing as an engaged parent. But
Speaker 1: I feel a lot of relief in knowing that there
Speaker 1: is support and tips and tools to really help me
Speaker 1: make sure that I am shaping the best path forward
Speaker 1: for my children. Like I said, if you know someone
Speaker 1: who has children, you're an educator, and you feel like
Speaker 1: this conversation has been a valuable resource, perhaps even from
Speaker 1: beginning to end in talking about those healthy dynamics, then
Speaker 1: please share this with someone you know. In this spirit
Speaker 1: of motherhood and parenting, I found a Rescue Eve. I
Speaker 1: know y'all want Rescue Eve to die because y'all won't
Speaker 1: send it to me, but Rescue Eve yet liv's resurrect
Speaker 1: and power for Rescue Eve. I saw a story that
Speaker 1: I thought was absolutely hilarious, and I think that we
Speaker 1: should rescue her. This mom is defending her right to
Speaker 1: ask guests at her daughter's birthday party to bring five
Speaker 1: dollars for backyard or renovations in lieu of gifts. I
Speaker 1: guess people thought it was really tacking that she said
Speaker 1: instead of bringing my daughter gift, and I think I
Speaker 1: can't remember her second baby's first birthday party was their
Speaker 1: first birthday party. She's like, don't buy a gift, just
Speaker 1: bring five dollars because we want to get our backyard redone.
Speaker 1: Can I tell y'all something like when it is Christmas time,
Speaker 1: it is birthday time, and all of the onsen things
Speaker 1: go by Target, they go buy Walmart, they order something
Speaker 1: from Amazon that is inevitably going to end up in
Speaker 1: the floor on pieces. It is the bane of my existence.
Speaker 1: I do not enjoy it. Like I tell my daughter
Speaker 1: all the time, like you're not getting no more toys.
Speaker 1: You're not getting no more toys. You have books and
Speaker 1: you have clothes, but you're not getting no more toys.
Speaker 3: Like some of these toys.
Speaker 2: Got to go.
Speaker 1: Like I do not need you to have all of
Speaker 1: these toys because you're not going to clean them up,
Speaker 1: you're not going to organize them, and they're going to
Speaker 1: be in pieces. I am not mad at a queen
Speaker 1: saying that if you really want to help this young thuck.
Speaker 3: No, she didn't say, young thuck.
Speaker 1: If you really want to help this young royal priesthood
Speaker 1: of a person inside of my house really have an
Speaker 1: enjoyable life. Help me to get a swing set so
Speaker 1: that they can go outside. Help me to get a
Speaker 1: hula hoop so they can be out of my business.
Speaker 1: Tell me to get a water hose so they could
Speaker 1: just be outside spraying one another. Help me to get
Speaker 1: them out of my house. You know what I mean,
Speaker 1: and so I'm not mad at it. I feel like
Speaker 1: we should rescue her. If you're a mom, a parent,
Speaker 1: and you know exactly what it's like to have a
Speaker 1: bunch of random toys that you're stepping going throughout your house,
Speaker 1: we ought to be able to rescue her.
Speaker 3: Is it tacky? What do you think?
Speaker 1: Send me your opinion to podcasts at womnibob dot com.
Speaker 1: Are you out here being tacky? Are you out here
Speaker 1: in need of a rescue? Send it to me. You're
Speaker 1: safe here podcast at womnibob. I won't say your name
Speaker 1: unless you absolutely want me to. Alternatively, are you out
Speaker 1: here in your bag? Are you so deep in your
Speaker 1: back like a grandma with peppermints? I want to know
Speaker 1: about that as well. What are you doing? Let's brag
Speaker 1: on you. Are you out here doing the things that
Speaker 1: you're skin glowing? Are you eating salads? Did you go
Speaker 1: and get you a burger because you deserved it? Are
Speaker 1: you vegan? Like? Tell me how we can celebrate you,
Speaker 1: because from one queen to another, I love to see
Speaker 1: you shine. And if you don't tell your story, who
Speaker 1: will thank you for hanging out with me this week
Speaker 1: for another episode of the Woman Evolved podcast. Next week
Speaker 1: is laun tweet Power Moves. Ignite your confidence and become
Speaker 1: a force. It's going to be in stores everywhere. I
Speaker 1: am asking you to buy a book or two, start
Speaker 1: a book club. Make sure that every person you know
Speaker 1: is moving and power. Power is not just for a
Speaker 1: select few. Power is the inheritance of all of us
Speaker 1: when we live a life aligned with God's vision for
Speaker 1: who we are. Thank God for Jesus that we are
Speaker 1: not without power, Holy Spirit. I thank you for my listeners.
Speaker 1: I thank you for this opportunity to end engage with
Speaker 1: them in a way that is different, real, refreshing, and authentic.
Speaker 3: God.
Speaker 1: I pray that something that I have said throughout this
Speaker 1: podcast has been helpful for what you're trying to do
Speaker 1: in their life. God, whatever it is, I asked that
Speaker 1: you would allow it to stick, even if it means
Speaker 1: they feel a little less alone and a lot more known. God,
Speaker 1: that's a gift in a world that can often make
Speaker 1: us feel lonely and isolated. I thank you God for
Speaker 1: this gift of a life that you have allowed me
Speaker 1: to live. And I also pray a special blessing over
Speaker 1: everyone who will be a part of the Power Moves movement. God,
Speaker 1: bless them in ways that only you can do. In
Speaker 1: Jesus name, I pray Amen.