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Speaker 2: Out of everybody in this room, who would be the
Speaker 2: worst HR person? I'm just gonna say it, Jose.
Speaker 3: I didn't want to be selfish, but I was gonna
Speaker 3: say yeah, no offense to that.
Speaker 2: But that's why we had him pose as an HR rep.
Speaker 2: And today he calls an office worker who's been nervous
Speaker 2: about layoffs. We want him to know he is fine,
Speaker 2: His job is safe. It's just corporate is making some
Speaker 2: changes that are quote in the best interest of the company. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm sure he'll understand. In your phone town right now.
Speaker 3: Hello, good morning. Hi is this Phil? This is Phil?
Speaker 3: Who am I speaking to? Hey Phil? My name's Heywood Jabloni.
Speaker 3: I work in human resources. How are you doing today?
Speaker 1: I'm fine?
Speaker 3: Thanks? Oh just fine? Huh. I was hoping you were
Speaker 3: going to be in a better mood than just fine
Speaker 3: before I told you this news.
Speaker 1: No, I'm in a good mood. What do you want
Speaker 1: to tell me?
Speaker 3: Why are you calling? Well you probably heard that we're
Speaker 3: reducing our workforce, right, Oh oh my god. No, no, no,
Speaker 3: listen before you get ahead of yourself. You're not getting
Speaker 3: laid off or anyone in your division. All your jobs
Speaker 3: are safe. Okay, take a deep breath. Okay, I was
Speaker 3: kind of worried for a seconds there.
Speaker 2: Oh, sorry about that.
Speaker 3: No, you're you're fine. We're just taking all your vacation
Speaker 3: days away. Yeah, you typically have around what twenty twenty
Speaker 3: vacation days? I see here? Right? Yeah, by Friday, you'll
Speaker 3: have zero. How does that make any sense? Well, I
Speaker 3: mean you would agree this is a tough time for
Speaker 3: the company. Yeah, well sure, I understand those things. Well,
Speaker 3: if you're saying that, think of how hard it is
Speaker 3: for the people above you getting paid way way, way more.
Speaker 3: Those guys are stressed. I'm the ones who's stressed paycheck
Speaker 3: to paycheck. Well, sure, I mean it's it's tough for
Speaker 3: everybody right now, but especially for the guys at the top.
Speaker 2: What are you about with so much uncertainty?
Speaker 3: They can't even golf more than twice a week. Think
Speaker 3: about it. That's why recently they all met and said, hey,
Speaker 3: how can we help this company and take a tax
Speaker 3: free vacation to the Bahamas? What a vacation? Oh? Sorry,
Speaker 3: a tax free vacation to the Bahamasa free vacation for them.
Speaker 3: I know, right, it's it's a tricky thing to do,
Speaker 3: and so this is why they got creative. The account
Speaker 3: said it has to be on the company dime. So
Speaker 3: if you take all the employees' vacation days away, we
Speaker 3: can legally ride it off. The whole thing, including the alcohol. Joke, right,
Speaker 3: I mean it sounds like some kind of freaking joke. No, no,
Speaker 3: it's not. Hey, we appreciate your sacrifice. Don't think you're
Speaker 3: going unappreciated. Friend, I'm not sacrificing anything.
Speaker 1: You took it away from me, well I didn't give
Speaker 1: it again.
Speaker 3: We appreciate and understand everything you've done. No, that's why,
Speaker 3: as a token of the company's gratitude, you and everyone
Speaker 3: in your division will receive four small chocolates in a
Speaker 3: plastic box. How does that help. It's not going to
Speaker 3: be available to Christmas because that's when we get the discount. Oh,
Speaker 3: it's unbelievable.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 3: You'd be excited.
Speaker 1: What's wrong with you?
Speaker 3: Chocolates small chocolates, I have to I don't want you
Speaker 3: to think they're like bars. They're just like bite size chocolates.
Speaker 1: Is not right. I cannot lose my vacation days because
Speaker 1: corporate wants to get hammered in the Bahamas and I
Speaker 1: get four lousy chocolates.
Speaker 3: That is one part I didn't tell you. It's not
Speaker 3: just the Bahamas. We're also going to the Virgin Islands.
Speaker 3: So wait a minute, why are you saying, Lee, you're
Speaker 3: not going on the trip. You're in human resource? Oh yeah,
Speaker 3: I didn't mention that part. They're bringing HR. I have
Speaker 3: never been outside the country. I couldn't be more excited.
Speaker 1: And they're just gonna leave us here with nothing.
Speaker 2: And lost days.
Speaker 3: And don't be thinking you can use your sick days
Speaker 3: to get time off. We put a temporary freeze on that.
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 3: Now you need to email us if you think you're
Speaker 3: gonna be sick at least a month in advance. How
Speaker 3: do I know what I'm gonna get sick. I won't
Speaker 3: be checking my email though I'll be in the Bahamas
Speaker 3: or the Virgin Islands.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: Personally, I agree. I would blame this on She's the
Speaker 3: one who set you up for all this. What ain't
Speaker 3: she going on that trip through without many She'd definitely
Speaker 3: like to, but she decided to do a prank phone
Speaker 3: call on you instead, which I appreciate. What are you
Speaker 3: talking about, idiots, because this is actually Jose for the
Speaker 3: Raidersow Brook and Jeffrey in the morning. We're doing a
Speaker 3: phone tap on you man. No way, Yes, he just
Speaker 3: said there's He's got a lot of tension in the
Speaker 3: office lately because of layoffs, so she wanted to lighten
Speaker 3: the mood.
Speaker 1: I cannot believe he did this. Hilarious neither.
Speaker 3: Oh, you know what you need? You need a vacation.
Speaker 3: You meet Bahamas tomorrow. What do you say? I guess
Speaker 3: we'll have to go quick because you're taking all my
Speaker 3: vacation days. We got the Friday, gotta go all right? Well,
Speaker 3: truth is I probably belong more in the Virgin Islands
Speaker 3: because I'm a Virgin. You get okay, I'm gonna stop
Speaker 3: the prank phone call. Now, this part isn't funny.
Speaker 1: Wake up every morning morning, Brook and Jeffrey in the
Speaker 1: morning