Speaker 1: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose
Speaker 1: funeral it is, having a look around the room and
Speaker 1: saying haven't decided yet is typically a good response.
Speaker 2: I got fined by the city for illegally fixing the
Speaker 2: potholes on the streets by my house. I can't really
Speaker 2: blame them, though it's my own asphalt.
Speaker 1: I just found a great website to get sausage online.
Speaker 1: I'll send you a link.
Speaker 2: I took my car to the shop the other day
Speaker 2: and the mechanics stole both of my front calipers. When
Speaker 2: I confronted him about it, he said, hey, man, I
Speaker 2: was told I'm allowed to take two breaks a day.
Speaker 1: What do you call a fake opera singer? Placebo Domingo?
Speaker 2: Man? I hate German food. It's just the vorst.
Speaker 1: I requested a retrial on the grounds of synex. The
Speaker 1: judge's sentencing wasn't right.
Speaker 2: What's the worst gift you can buy a millennial a
Speaker 2: label maker? They will never use it because they don't
Speaker 2: like to put labels on things.
Speaker 1: Why couldn't the extroverted horse plow the field because you
Speaker 1: need a shire horse?
Speaker 2: Why do people fired from Microsoft want to work at
Speaker 2: home depot because they want to become a windows replacement installer, died.
Speaker 1: And came back as a cowboy. I call that reinternation.
Speaker 1: More Dad humor awaits right after this short break.
Speaker 2: Why did the cannibal throw up the missionary? You just
Speaker 2: can't keep a good man down.
Speaker 1: Saw a man on stilts at the carnival today. He
Speaker 1: was outstanding.
Speaker 2: My coworker thanks his cutlery after eating every day after lunch,
Speaker 2: he looks at them and says, thanks for the help.
Speaker 1: Forks. I used to wear camel pants to the woods.
Speaker 1: Now I wear him around the house so no one
Speaker 1: knows I'm home.
Speaker 2: Two musicians wash their hands at the same time. They're
Speaker 2: in sync.
Speaker 1: My house is currently on fire, and the smoke filling
Speaker 1: my lungs is beautiful. It's breathtaking.
Speaker 2: When does a car stop being a car when it
Speaker 2: starts turning into a junction?
Speaker 1: What's the most popular car amongst neurosurgeons? Fusions?
Speaker 2: I'm Bob Jeffy.
Speaker 1: And I'm Montgomery Jones. Are you ready for a bonus
Speaker 1: Dad joke? There's one waiting for you at the end
Speaker 1: of the episode. Our mission is to make the world
Speaker 1: a funnier place, one joke at a time. Share the
Speaker 1: jokes with your family and friends. Sweet dreams and I'll
Speaker 1: catch you tomorrow. Thank you for listening.
Speaker 2: Looking for more dad joke humor to share, then subscribe
Speaker 2: to our new weekly email newsletter. It's our weekly roundup
Speaker 2: of the best dad jokes, memes and humor for you
Speaker 2: to enjoy. Spread the laughs and groans and sign up today.
Speaker 2: Check the sign up link in the show notes page
Speaker 2: or visit Daily dadjokespodcast dot com. The Daily Dad Jokes
Speaker 2: Podcast is produced by Classic Studios. See the show notes
Speaker 2: page for social media links and joke credits. This show
Speaker 2: was recorded in front of a canned studio audience. A
Speaker 2: guy once told me he would never know how to
Speaker 2: tie a tie. I assured him, not going to happen.