Speaker 1: I took my pet pig to the vet because she
Speaker 1: was feeling sick. The vet told me to return in
Speaker 1: a couple hours, so I did. When I came back,
Speaker 1: the vet presented me with a ham I looked at
Speaker 1: him confused, and he said, I cured her.
Speaker 2: The dog swallowed a bag of scrabble tiles. He's at
Speaker 2: the vets now, no word yet.
Speaker 1: What did the vets say to the cat? How are
Speaker 1: you feline?
Speaker 2: A duck and a vet go to a restaurant. The
Speaker 2: vet takes care of the bill.
Speaker 1: A man takes his dog to the vet. The vet says,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'll have to put this dog down. The
Speaker 1: man asks why, and the vet says, because he is
Speaker 1: far too heavy.
Speaker 2: I took my daughter's hamster to the vet. I said, please,
Speaker 2: you've got to help my daughter's hamster. The vet laughed
Speaker 2: and said, that's a snake.
Speaker 1: Why does Santa go to the vit to take care
Speaker 1: of his claws?
Speaker 2: My dog ate a string of Christmas lights. Thankfully the
Speaker 2: vet was able to remove them. He said, my dog
Speaker 2: was delighted.
Speaker 1: I asked the VIT if we needed to be concerned
Speaker 1: about our pit bird having multiple partners at once. Turns
Speaker 1: out it's normal for parrots to be polyamorous.
Speaker 2: As a vet, I'm tired of working on chickens. If
Speaker 2: this keeps up, I'll have to work around the clock.
Speaker 1: How much does a British vet charge to cure an
Speaker 1: ill octopus? Six quid.
Speaker 2: A guy took his pony to the vet to see
Speaker 2: what was wrong. Vet told him it was fine, just
Speaker 2: a little horse.
Speaker 1: The laughter isn't over. We'll be back after this brief break.
Speaker 1: My dog won't swallow his daily pill, so the vet
Speaker 1: told me to wrap them in a slice of ham.
Speaker 1: Anyone know where I can get slices of ham big
Speaker 1: enough to wrap an alsatian?
Speaker 2: Obey the law and don't attempt to heal sick birds
Speaker 2: without an active vet license. It's illegal.
Speaker 1: Why wouldn't the vet let the dough die she was
Speaker 1: holding on to do your life?
Speaker 2: A gardener took his dog to the vet. He's been
Speaker 2: acting real depressed, explained the gardener. He just lays in
Speaker 2: the garden day after day, letting out these really sad
Speaker 2: size I see, replied the vet. What do you grow
Speaker 2: this season? It's cataloge, but I don't see how that's relevant.
Speaker 2: The vet nodded knowingly and replied, well, that explains it.
Speaker 2: He's a melancholy.
Speaker 1: What happens when you cross a cat and a cow?
Speaker 1: They revoke your veterinary license.
Speaker 2: I saw a protest against dog neutering. It would have
Speaker 2: been longer, but they didn't have the balls to continue.
Speaker 1: Why do newded dogs always cheese squirrels? They're trying to
Speaker 1: get the nets back.
Speaker 2: There's a special space ship that neuters female dogs in space,
Speaker 2: the Space Shuttle.
Speaker 1: Where does a vit who specializes in neutering live a
Speaker 1: cul to sick? I'm Bob Jeffy and I'm Montgomery Jones,
Speaker 1: and that's the pet Dad jokes for World Veterinary Day.
Speaker 1: We're on a mission to spread the laughs and groans
Speaker 1: far and wide, so please do us a favor and
Speaker 1: share just one of these jokes with your family and
Speaker 1: friends today.
Speaker 2: Thanks. Looking for more dad joke humor to share, then
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Speaker 2: Dad Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios. See the
Speaker 2: show notes page for social media links and joke credits.
Speaker 2: This show was recorded in front of a canned studio audience.