Speaker 1: Welcome to Guys We Fucked. Guys We Guys Book. I'm Christina,
Speaker 1: I'm Correnn. We're sorry about last night, the anti slut
Speaker 1: shaming podcast. I never stopped. Hey fucker's Welcome to another
Speaker 1: episode of Guys We Fuck. It's the anti slut shaming podcast.
Speaker 1: I'm corren I'm Christina. Today's episode is brought to you
Speaker 1: by talk Space. Are you going through ship You don't
Speaker 1: want to get off your couch, you just want to
Speaker 1: text the therapist. We'll talk Space is the app for you.
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Speaker 1: your therapist and talk about your life, what's going keeping
Speaker 1: you up at night, or even your annoying coworker. They're
Speaker 1: really encouraging you to just really bitch about whatever you want.
Speaker 1: To sign up or learn more, go to talk space
Speaker 1: dot com slash GWF and to show your sol poor
Speaker 1: for this podcast by also going to talk space and
Speaker 1: and you know, giving them your problems, use the code GWF.
Speaker 1: You can get thirty dollars off your first month talk
Speaker 1: Space Therapy for how We Lived Today. I think they
Speaker 1: wanted me to read it like that, but whatever, Well,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm in a mood. However you want to
Speaker 1: read it, it's your artistic choice. I believe they leave
Speaker 1: it up to the artist. That's true. I'm fucking artist. Well,
Speaker 1: if you want to see us live, come do it.
Speaker 1: You should. If you're in New York City. On Thursday,
Speaker 1: January five, at pm, Wendy Sterling and I are putting
Speaker 1: on the Wendy Sterling Birthday edition of Glamour Puss. It's
Speaker 1: twenty one and up tickets or fifteen bucks. Link is
Speaker 1: in the description of this podcast eight two s third Street.
Speaker 1: I said all those details in a weird order, But
Speaker 1: you can suck your website and just calm it cells
Speaker 1: out every week, and I didn't put it on the
Speaker 1: sheet that we're working off of, but not. Nacho Bitches
Speaker 1: is happening on Friday, January co hosted by myself and
Speaker 1: Blair Saki. That's at New York Comedy Club at eleven
Speaker 1: fifteen pm. Let's start two thousand seventeen off, you know,
Speaker 1: by getting blackout, drunk and eating things that aren't good
Speaker 1: for us. Use code Nacho for ten dollar tickets and
Speaker 1: we're going on tour again. Oh aren't you sick of us?
Speaker 1: Now you're not shut up. Uh, most of these dates
Speaker 1: have sold out, but these are the ones that have
Speaker 1: not yet. So if you're live in these cities and
Speaker 1: you want to come see us, get your tickets now,
Speaker 1: because me thinks they's going to sell out. And also
Speaker 1: it gives us a heart attack, like when we like
Speaker 1: her heading off places and there's five tickets sold. So
Speaker 1: just for our piece of mind. We got to Florida
Speaker 1: today and they're like two tickets and then it was
Speaker 1: like packed. So Seattle, Washington on Saturday, January fourteenth, we're
Speaker 1: gonna be at the Parlor Live Comedy Club, San Francisco. Again,
Speaker 1: there's a date missing. It's it's it's say Sunday, January fifteenth.
Speaker 1: I actually knew that off the top of my friend.
Speaker 1: I couldn't even believe it. We're gonna be at Cobb's
Speaker 1: Comedy Club as part of Sketch Fest. The seven pm
Speaker 1: show is already sold out, but we added a nine
Speaker 1: thirty pm show, so tickets are still available to that.
Speaker 1: Portland Oregon, Wednesday, January eighth at Helium eight pm. Sold out,
Speaker 1: so we added a second one ten pm. There are
Speaker 1: tickets still available. Get him Now. Spokane, Washington on Thursday,
Speaker 1: January nine. We're coming to the Spokane Comedy Club. I've
Speaker 1: never been to Spocaine, but my friend just posted this
Speaker 1: picture of really good pancakes sheet. They're so excited to come. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I want track. I wanted to be Rachel Dolls, Los Angeles, California, Saturday,
Speaker 1: January one, at five pm. We're gonna be at the Alleyway.
Speaker 1: It's part of riot Fest, So get a pass, get
Speaker 1: a ticket, whatever suits your boat. Boston, you have been
Speaker 1: begging us to come there. On Thursday, April thirteenth, we're
Speaker 1: gonna be playing the Wilbur which is awesome. This show
Speaker 1: is almost sold out. I know it's in April, but
Speaker 1: by tickets now because I don't want to see those
Speaker 1: crying facial emoji is one of the show sells out.
Speaker 1: Chicka Pee, Massachusetts, Friday, April fourteen, We're gonna be at
Speaker 1: the Here we Go. Who Kilo? That's probably really bad
Speaker 1: that I said it that way. Who Kilo? It's who Keys?
Speaker 1: I would go with that with a second and pronouncing, Hey,
Speaker 1: we're gonna be at the Hookilao just ignored it. It
Speaker 1: sounds it sounds like it's going to be cool. I'm excited.
Speaker 1: Oh I'll talk about it, okay. Uh So I'm dealing
Speaker 1: with some shit. I just got bad news about my
Speaker 1: mom's health and it really sucks, um. And I heard
Speaker 1: about it last night and I'm really trying to process it.
Speaker 1: So if anybody out there has any tips, I will
Speaker 1: greatly appreciate it. Um. Again, if you know my mom,
Speaker 1: maybe no one does. And I keep saying this, but like,
Speaker 1: just shut the funk up and tell her, Um, this
Speaker 1: is just something that is I'm broken. Um, she has
Speaker 1: her brain is deteriorating. She has a dementia and uh
Speaker 1: we just found out, and uh, I'm trying to deal
Speaker 1: and I can't because I feel the saddest sadness I've
Speaker 1: ever felt in my life. And uh, I don't know. Um,
Speaker 1: it's just when stuff like that happens, you go, Okay.
Speaker 1: You know I told Stephen when I found out last night,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I really, I don't mean to pressure you,
Speaker 1: but I would like to get married so she could
Speaker 1: see it. Um. But it's just all these thoughts are
Speaker 1: going through my head. You know, one thing I don't
Speaker 1: want to rush is having a baby, but it's something
Speaker 1: I do want to do one day, and uh, just
Speaker 1: it's really hard not to think about her not being
Speaker 1: there for that. UM. And I'm just you know, going
Speaker 1: through some ship comes in waves, but it's uh is
Speaker 1: the most broken I've ever felt. And uh I always
Speaker 1: try to gain control of things when I feel out
Speaker 1: of control, and there's just you just gotta sit with it.
Speaker 1: So uh, I didn't know if I wanted to talk
Speaker 1: about it, but I can't. It's consuming me. Um and
Speaker 1: it I don't know. Um, I don't know how you
Speaker 1: deal with news like this. I've never had to lose anybody.
Speaker 1: I've never had warning, especially but you know my grandparents
Speaker 1: who were old by the time they passed away. And UM,
Speaker 1: I've never lost a friend. I've never had a friend die.
Speaker 1: And uh, I just don't know how to do. You've
Speaker 1: had you said you've had friends die. Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: I think I've just never dealt with I very close
Speaker 1: with my mother and I love her so much, to
Speaker 1: the point where when she's said I'm sad, and sometimes
Speaker 1: I don't even know she's sad, but I just feel
Speaker 1: this sadness and I feel like I'm so connected to her.
Speaker 1: And then when I read that Carrie Fisher died and
Speaker 1: then Debbie Reynolds and her mother died the next day,
Speaker 1: I was like, holy sh it, that is so it's
Speaker 1: be beautiful in a dark, sad way. But I feel
Speaker 1: so connected to her and I always have and I
Speaker 1: don't know, I just don't know. I don't I don't know.
Speaker 1: I didn't know if I wanted to talk about it,
Speaker 1: but I I it's so fresh in my head and
Speaker 1: I feel like, um talking about things really does help.
Speaker 1: So maybe this is just me getting it off my
Speaker 1: chest so that if anybody has any words of wisdom
Speaker 1: or if they've ever dealt with this, um am all
Speaker 1: ears because I don't know what to do. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean I think you know a lot of people I've
Speaker 1: lost friends, but the death of a of a parent,
Speaker 1: I think is we were kind of talking about this earlier,
Speaker 1: something that every kid fears that It's like, it's always
Speaker 1: been my biggest fear coming straight on with the kind
Speaker 1: of the worst case scenario, especially a mom, Like if
Speaker 1: you know it's not good to place, you know, one
Speaker 1: parent or the other, but a mom. That's it's sh
Speaker 1: And I've i've you know, seen some other people go
Speaker 1: through a similar thing, and it's just like, there's no
Speaker 1: you just got a deal. He just have to deal
Speaker 1: and you can't. I just I'm so. I just don't
Speaker 1: want to make the remaining years, hopefully years overshadowed by
Speaker 1: my inability to deal with it. But this is the
Speaker 1: saddest sadness I've ever felt in my life. And I
Speaker 1: don't know, I got nothing except that that's that's I
Speaker 1: don't know how to deal with it. Maybe all these
Speaker 1: talks base God, I don't even talks basically anal this ship.
Speaker 1: Um well, no, I mean I think for something like this,
Speaker 1: you might want to see someone in person about frombody
Speaker 1: knows any good therapists that are good at dealing with
Speaker 1: this kind of thing in New York City area. Please
Speaker 1: let me know, because it is God damn it, your
Speaker 1: girl needs help. Yeah, I think if anyone, if anyone
Speaker 1: has gone through when and I say, a very similar
Speaker 1: experience like something with dementia. Uh not that your experience
Speaker 1: isn't important, but you don't need to hear from everybody
Speaker 1: I think it would be good to have quality over quantity. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was, because I was telling Karin like I didn't
Speaker 1: know if I wanted to talk about it, because I
Speaker 1: don't want to get a bunch of I'm so sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, Like I'm already thinking
Speaker 1: about it enough, but I do. Like one of my
Speaker 1: best friends lost his mother, and I remember I was,
Speaker 1: I've you know, i've known him before she passed and
Speaker 1: after she passed, but I remember going, how how are
Speaker 1: you smiling? How are you? How do you go on?
Speaker 1: And I and I always knew that I wouldn't be
Speaker 1: able to handle it. I just I don't know. I
Speaker 1: don't know you can handle it, though I feel like
Speaker 1: you are have to handle it. You're like you're going,
Speaker 1: you're going to I think you're underestimating yourself. I think
Speaker 1: I just hate this set. I know I can't escape it,
Speaker 1: and I can't everything. Every song that plays it just
Speaker 1: somehow reminds me of her. Everything reminds me of her.
Speaker 1: And that's all absolutely yeah, just get that off my chest.
Speaker 1: I guess. Yeah, like we said, we we need, we need.
Speaker 1: If you don't eat, we know that you care and
Speaker 1: that and that you're sorry, but something like constructive emails
Speaker 1: would be a lot more helpful. Someone's going through the
Speaker 1: same thing. I would like to know any heads up
Speaker 1: or I don't know, just tips, because I'm all I'm
Speaker 1: open to that stuff. Absolutely, let's read some emails. We're
Speaker 1: gonna read one long email, the whole thing. You know,
Speaker 1: you girl can't read out, you can take it. You
Speaker 1: can take a moment um as I speak about this.
Speaker 1: The email is called reallyship, I really I should have
Speaker 1: picked one about like I got too drunk. Uh. This
Speaker 1: one is called I would have been a house slave.
Speaker 1: So you know that's good. Let's get into it. Hello there,
Speaker 1: Christina and Karen. First, let me say happy anniversary. I
Speaker 1: have thoroughly enjoyed every single episode and have been a
Speaker 1: faithful sucker for a little over a year now. I
Speaker 1: am not typically a person who would send an email
Speaker 1: to complete strangers, but the topic discussed in your Anniversary
Speaker 1: episode is something that I have spent a lot of
Speaker 1: time learning and thinking about, and it's very personal to
Speaker 1: me in my dating life. I'm a thirty two year
Speaker 1: old biracial woman who grew up in Iowa, moved away
Speaker 1: for a time, and moved back to the Midwest three
Speaker 1: years ago. I identify as black because looking at me,
Speaker 1: people would think I'm crazy if I said I was white,
Speaker 1: and it is easier to just say black than give
Speaker 1: my racial ethnic back breakdown every time someone asks, which
Speaker 1: is at least a few times per month. The funny
Speaker 1: thing about this categorization is that I have never really
Speaker 1: felt like I belonged to either racial category, never being
Speaker 1: black enough or wide enough for either group. Due to
Speaker 1: being raised in a small town large for Iowa population thousand,
Speaker 1: in a state with a black population of approximately two
Speaker 1: percent at the time, I did not have much exposure
Speaker 1: to black people outside of my family. My friends often
Speaker 1: joke that quote I am the whitest black person they know.
Speaker 1: I went to a small private school and graduated high
Speaker 1: school with less than seventies students. At the time, I
Speaker 1: did not feel different than my peers, except I never
Speaker 1: had any guys in my school show interest in me
Speaker 1: romantically and was often ostracized. When my crushes found out
Speaker 1: I liked them, I was made to feel that they
Speaker 1: were disgusted that I liked them, which was pretty hurtful.
Speaker 1: I never attributed these issues to my skin color or
Speaker 1: ethnic background until I went away to college. When I
Speaker 1: got to college, the minority student affairs groups started sending
Speaker 1: me invitations to their events, and black sororities were recruiting,
Speaker 1: and it was at that time that I started feeling
Speaker 1: quote different. The minority student groups were meant to make
Speaker 1: minority students feel more a part of the whole, when
Speaker 1: from it made me feel like more of an outsider,
Speaker 1: like I should only be spending time with people who
Speaker 1: look like me. But even there, I felt incredibly out
Speaker 1: of place because I was never quote black enough. I've
Speaker 1: been accused of acting white, dressing white, talking white, wishing
Speaker 1: to be white, and even recently this month, being raised white.
Speaker 1: I've been pushed in a public gathering by a group
Speaker 1: of black women, had ice water dumped down my back,
Speaker 1: uninvited and inappropriately touched by unknown black men on dance floors,
Speaker 1: and threatened with physical violence, all for not being black enough,
Speaker 1: or for having good hair or being light skinned. Oh
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, skin did yes? You read that correctly? Seems
Speaker 1: the person calling me this created uh portman to combining
Speaker 1: the words skin and tinted to make skint it. Oh okay,
Speaker 1: I got it um due to this treatment by black people.
Speaker 1: I often try to avoid any place with black people
Speaker 1: because I feel uncomfortable and have at times felt unsafe
Speaker 1: and violated, never truly comfortable in my skin as a
Speaker 1: black woman. Well, I have not felt comfortable in contemporary
Speaker 1: black culture. I have always been keenly interested in Black
Speaker 1: history and my heritage. I identified with the strong Black
Speaker 1: figures of history and feel pride in knowing that I
Speaker 1: have the life that I do because of the many
Speaker 1: Black people who sacrifice their safety and many uh their
Speaker 1: lives so I could opportunity, have opportunity and equality. As
Speaker 1: a child, I read about the trans Atlantic slave trade,
Speaker 1: the Underground Rail railroad, and did book reports on Harriet
Speaker 1: Tubman and the Journal Truth. I read books about mL
Speaker 1: K and drew pictures of him, and in seventh grade
Speaker 1: even went so far as to tell people that was
Speaker 1: possible that I could be related to him because my
Speaker 1: grandmother's maiden name was Williams, just like mlkay is mother's
Speaker 1: maiden name. I soaked up Black history and information about
Speaker 1: the Civil Rights movement like a sponge. Therefore, in college,
Speaker 1: I took a few African American studies courses. One course
Speaker 1: I took was an African America, American when women's Studies
Speaker 1: Core during my senior year, and it gave me new
Speaker 1: perspective and insight into societal views of black people, black women,
Speaker 1: interracial racism, and interracial dating. Fast forward to three weeks
Speaker 1: ago and insert the Guys We Fucked third anniversary episode
Speaker 1: in which you talked about interracial dating issues. And I
Speaker 1: have so many thoughts and feels about the topic. Let
Speaker 1: me start by saying, I am not a black woman
Speaker 1: who feels slighted when I see a black man with
Speaker 1: a white woman. I actually relish in it because it
Speaker 1: is comfortable for me. My dad is black and my
Speaker 1: mom is white. When I relish, and even more um
Speaker 1: is seeing a black woman with a white man. As
Speaker 1: I am typically attracted to white men, seeing a black
Speaker 1: woman with a white man makes my heart smile and
Speaker 1: gives me hope for myself that I might meet someone
Speaker 1: I am attracted to, regardless of their race or ethnic background,
Speaker 1: who is also attracted to me and wants to date me.
Speaker 1: I have had just one relationship in my thirty two years,
Speaker 1: and it was five years ago with a white man
Speaker 1: who was an incredibly progressive thinker from a progressive family.
Speaker 1: My wellness is not for lack of trying, as I
Speaker 1: have been on dating sites intermittingly the past six years.
Speaker 1: I attribute my lack of relationships to living in the
Speaker 1: Midwest the majority of my life and primarily being attracted
Speaker 1: to white men who consciously or subconsciously do not feel
Speaker 1: that they can take someone of a different race from
Speaker 1: ethnic background home to their family. One of my friends
Speaker 1: in college was dating a black man and her parents said,
Speaker 1: you can't be serious about this guy. We don't think
Speaker 1: you should marry him. What if you had children? How
Speaker 1: could you do that to your children. I've actually heard
Speaker 1: this sentiment on multiple occasions over the past fifteen years,
Speaker 1: and as the biracial product of an interracial marriage, I
Speaker 1: cannot pinpoint anything that my parents quote did to me
Speaker 1: that has negatively impacted my life being in an interracial relationship.
Speaker 1: I gave you a lot of personal background, but I
Speaker 1: feel it as important as a basis for how I
Speaker 1: have come to think about this topic. In the anniversary episode,
Speaker 1: you talked about angry black women, inter racial discrimination differences,
Speaker 1: and black man white woman relationships. All of these issues
Speaker 1: really date all the way back to slavery. Slave masters
Speaker 1: often raped the female slaves, which was the start of
Speaker 1: black women being seen SOLDI as sex objects. The female
Speaker 1: slaves would often become impregnated with the slave master's children,
Speaker 1: which would spark anger and jealousy and the slave master's wife.
Speaker 1: The slave master's wife would then sleep with the slave
Speaker 1: men to quote get even with their husbands. Let me
Speaker 1: break it down even further. Slave children who were fathered
Speaker 1: by the master were made how slaves, and because of
Speaker 1: the racial mixing, their skin was lighter. Thus intra racial
Speaker 1: racism was born. You mentioned varying views of beauty based
Speaker 1: upon skin tone in the episode. This is where that
Speaker 1: originates from. And also Mike said that not us. Just
Speaker 1: for the record, before we get any more trouble than usual.
Speaker 1: Field slaves were darker skinned because they were always in
Speaker 1: the sun and less likely to be raped by the
Speaker 1: slave master. The how slaves were lighter skin because they
Speaker 1: were of mixed race thanks Daddy slave master and were
Speaker 1: treated better and viewed as being more attractive. Slash privileged.
Speaker 1: Slave master's wife would seduce and sleep with the male
Speaker 1: slaves because they felt slighted by their husbands who were
Speaker 1: raping the female slaves instead of having sex with them.
Speaker 1: Thus black man slash white woman couples seem to be
Speaker 1: more acceptable and common when a black man is with
Speaker 1: a white woman. Society tells that this tells us that
Speaker 1: they transcend social classes, that it is a hand up,
Speaker 1: and the black man is more respected because they are
Speaker 1: civilized or more successful, and that is why they are
Speaker 1: able to catch a white woman. Black women are often
Speaker 1: highly sexualized and seen as sex objects. Slave masters were
Speaker 1: sexually attracted to the female slaves and would rape them.
Speaker 1: Female slaves were horribly degraded during slavery, and this set
Speaker 1: up the attitude that black women are desirable for sexual
Speaker 1: encounters but not desirable mates. White men are subconsciously seen
Speaker 1: as quote dating down a class if he is seen
Speaker 1: with a black woman. If people do not think this happens,
Speaker 1: please look up tomorrow. Maori and the reaction to her
Speaker 1: engagement to a white man when her engagement photos were
Speaker 1: released online totally disgusting. Getting back to the thought from
Speaker 1: the episode about why black women feel slighted and angry
Speaker 1: when white women are with black men, well, putting it
Speaker 1: very simply, if white men date white women and black
Speaker 1: men date white women, who is left for the black woman?
Speaker 1: If you think about the historical reasons and background for
Speaker 1: how interracial relationships are seen, usually subconsciously. All of this
Speaker 1: is the basis for why black women think and feel
Speaker 1: the way they do. It seems like it is bullshit,
Speaker 1: but it is very real when it comes to dating
Speaker 1: and relationships. I am acutely aware of how society views
Speaker 1: me as a black woman, especially when I see that
Speaker 1: men in my area are predominantly only looking for white
Speaker 1: and Caucasian women according to their dating profiles. I find
Speaker 1: myself playing Uncle Tom to prove I am a good catch,
Speaker 1: that I'm fun and smart and come from a good family.
Speaker 1: I really hate feeling the need to prove myself to anyone,
Speaker 1: because I am typically a zero fox type of gal.
Speaker 1: But this is my current reality, and I would really
Speaker 1: love to have a companion to do sweet ship with
Speaker 1: i e. Travel, sex, eating, comma, other sweet ship. While
Speaker 1: I'm perfectly comfortable with being alone and doing things alone,
Speaker 1: I believe life is so much more meaningful and exciting
Speaker 1: when you have someone to witness it with you. Bottom line,
Speaker 1: no one should ever feel guilty or bad about being
Speaker 1: with someone based upon societal norms or expectations. We need
Speaker 1: to start breaking down the social constructs of interracial relationships,
Speaker 1: which were created during a time when where it was
Speaker 1: acceptable to own another human based upon their skin color.
Speaker 1: I'm not certain how we as a society start to
Speaker 1: change this, or if it is even possible in our generation.
Speaker 1: What I am certain of is that it is an
Speaker 1: issue that we need to start having conversations about so
Speaker 1: people can freely be with the people they love and
Speaker 1: are attracted to without feeling judged or guilty. Thank you
Speaker 1: for your anniversary episode, because it's spurred me to write
Speaker 1: this email and start the conversation with you. I would
Speaker 1: love to hear your thoughts on this topic and appreciate
Speaker 1: how you ladies use your platform to advocate for people
Speaker 1: from all walks of life. Nothing like writing really personal
Speaker 1: shipped to strangers. But I typically don't talk to my
Speaker 1: friends about this stuff because it makes people uncomfortable and
Speaker 1: or no one wants to own up to having or
Speaker 1: knowing someone who has discriminatory or prejudice thoughts and beliefs.
Speaker 1: I mean, they have a black friend who is the
Speaker 1: whitest black person they know. Isn't that enough to prove
Speaker 1: that they are not racist? And that's from Lisa. I
Speaker 1: hope that was okay to give your name, but I
Speaker 1: think it was such a well written email, and normally
Speaker 1: I would never choose to read an email that that
Speaker 1: was that long, but you just put so much thought
Speaker 1: into that, and I thought it was a really great
Speaker 1: um point of view, especially you know when white white
Speaker 1: white feminism is rampant, guys, and I think that that
Speaker 1: that's the beginning of the answer to how you solve
Speaker 1: the problem is just at least step one is building
Speaker 1: awareness and having the conversation so exactly the education that
Speaker 1: you sought out. Thank you for supplying that to us,
Speaker 1: because that that's some interesting shit, right, And it's just
Speaker 1: it's just so frustrating when you hear just like discrimination
Speaker 1: is happening everywhere. It's white people against black people, black
Speaker 1: people against white people, Latino people, like everyone fucking hates
Speaker 1: each other, and it's it's really the worst. It does
Speaker 1: feel like that because sometimes I'm like, oh my, just
Speaker 1: being negative or concentrating too much on the negative stuff.
Speaker 1: But I mean, you hear it so often you're like, no,
Speaker 1: this is no, this is no women women hate each other. Uh.
Speaker 1: Different types of people within the black community hate each other,
Speaker 1: different levels of Jews hate each other. I mean it's
Speaker 1: just goes on and on and on and on. Um.
Speaker 1: I like, yeah, I just love this because it's like
Speaker 1: it was super well informed and just its like educate
Speaker 1: yourselves and also just love who you want to love,
Speaker 1: Like it's life is hard enough without putting up extra
Speaker 1: barriers for yourself. I feel, Yeah, you're fucking telling me.
Speaker 1: I yeah, be kind you guys, you never know what weird,
Speaker 1: what's going to happen. Sorry, I'm really stuck on them.
Speaker 1: I'm not, I'm not, but I just don't really know
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Speaker 1: just search that and you can read about your pores. Oh,
Speaker 1: I thought you met like poor people or something you
Speaker 1: want to read about the pores? I was thinking of,
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Speaker 1: Do you know what you're gonna do after? Be fish?
Speaker 1: Reading all those articles for your day. Probably watch some
Speaker 1: TV exactly because no one wants to go outside because
Speaker 1: the world is on fire and everything's horrible. Um, I
Speaker 1: mean no, but sometimes it is. If you want to
Speaker 1: watch good TV, I know I do, and I watch
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Speaker 1: I see. I say. You just never leave your house,
Speaker 1: you guys, and then you get talk space, you talk
Speaker 1: to your therapist. You really don't know what is the
Speaker 1: world coming to? Uh? Every episode of SNL ever is
Speaker 1: on c SO, which is my favorite part about it
Speaker 1: because they they took it off everywhere and it's only
Speaker 1: on c SO. And I love going back and watching
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Speaker 1: Night with Jimmy fallon, uh, the Late Night with Seth Myers,
Speaker 1: just all the late nights night any late nights though
Speaker 1: those two specifically, and they have classics like thirty Rock,
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Speaker 1: that one saved by the Bell Classics. I just think
Speaker 1: a show girls. Um, today's even British comedies like The
Speaker 1: Original Office with Ricky Gervais. The entire Monty Python catalog
Speaker 1: one of the funniest groups ever. Watch Monty Python. Guys,
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Speaker 1: just don't like these thing, that's okay. See so fucking
Speaker 1: add some laughter to your life. That was a better one.
Speaker 1: That's better. Um alright, guys, So I like I wish
Speaker 1: this was a more uplifting episode. It's not terribly now
Speaker 1: it is downlifting. This is a fascinating interview that we
Speaker 1: had with a with a friend and a comedian. This
Speaker 1: is one of my favorite she's like favorite pillist person.
Speaker 1: I really like her. And that's you know, say a lot.
Speaker 1: Yeah it is, it said. It's hard, well, yeah, for
Speaker 1: you to like somebody, for them to be not shiitty
Speaker 1: enough for you to like them. Yeah. She's just a
Speaker 1: very special human, a really funny comedian and a very
Speaker 1: very seasoned podcaster. Please give a warm welcome to are
Speaker 1: a Marrying must Sleep chance Alize and dreams, the flurries
Speaker 1: all that's now. I can't see a drift away from drink.
Speaker 1: It's the same ol, same thing, a hurricane. It's got
Speaker 1: to my man movie. Someone to to stop dread, and
Speaker 1: so someone to me a beautizing the KOs lately? Do
Speaker 1: It's I said, because beause the chaos lately twere around
Speaker 1: twell around Jan's twin him Mar Americ, Hi, how you doing.
Speaker 1: I'm fabulous you had a not so fabulous morning recently.
Speaker 1: I know yesterday I woke up, well, I didn't really
Speaker 1: wake up. I was still up from you remained. I
Speaker 1: went to a warehouse, a secret warehouse party and came
Speaker 1: home with a fat lip because I fell on stage
Speaker 1: with the DJ and my my jacket was gone and
Speaker 1: my phone is still gone. And uh yeah, it sounds
Speaker 1: like we have a nineteen year old guest, right, I'm
Speaker 1: like eighty seven. Hit this grandma broke you know. I
Speaker 1: was up there. I was like, I'm almost farty, like
Speaker 1: five years away for that. But it's yeah, that's not
Speaker 1: I mean still like almost forty. I get anything's almost forty.
Speaker 1: I guess I'm just thirty five. I mean, what are
Speaker 1: your feelings? Gives us it gives all the listeners hope
Speaker 1: because I say I'm thirty one, and then people like,
Speaker 1: honestly like react like I said I was ninety two.
Speaker 1: I know, so it's crazy. They're like, you're thirty five twelve,
Speaker 1: I know, but I look ninety different. You have fun,
Speaker 1: you know, I look older. I like, I'm like, I
Speaker 1: don't look twenty seven anymore because you're not twenty seven.
Speaker 1: But I mean I do meet people sometimes and they
Speaker 1: look way younger than they are, And I'm like, what
Speaker 1: the people are black and Latina though white's that's white man,
Speaker 1: just bananas, just bruising bananas, sweet, all the privilege and
Speaker 1: all the cracks. So there you go, yeah, I think
Speaker 1: it probably is fair. And then yeah, yeah, you know, right,
Speaker 1: well what the way women are treated esthetically? Honestly, I'm
Speaker 1: not even really overdrump tized to get that much. But
Speaker 1: of course, um, so you just said we're saying something
Speaker 1: interesting about, um, how your ex husband asked for a baby?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yes, okay, you know that's just that was
Speaker 1: a text message you got or no, I wanted a sandwich,
Speaker 1: so I asked him to come over yesterday. Excuse me,
Speaker 1: all right, we might have to rewind you were married
Speaker 1: to this person for how long? Four months? Okay? Okay,
Speaker 1: Britta expecting one was seventeen days? Wow, Britty spears for real.
Speaker 1: So but this one, we'll get back to that one.
Speaker 1: Don't you worry? Uh? Four months? You guys divorced? Was it?
Speaker 1: Can you annol? At that point? We can? Did you all? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I was like I own this. I did this. Oh okay,
Speaker 1: So I'm always like yeah. Like the second one, we
Speaker 1: had five hundred guests and he was had a lot
Speaker 1: or not a lot, that's a lot, a lot about
Speaker 1: it was a lot of people and so are you Russian? Like?
Speaker 1: Why were there is a lot? The comedy stories three
Speaker 1: people at a wedding insane, insane even a little even
Speaker 1: on a little on the high. So now I know
Speaker 1: what groups of people look like like. Now I know
Speaker 1: what crowds look like like. By the numbers, that is
Speaker 1: a lot at ship. Well, I'm Irish Catholic, so we
Speaker 1: have a lot of people. And then he and it
Speaker 1: was in San Diego and everybody was like, oh, definitely
Speaker 1: go a fly in from my family. And then his
Speaker 1: he owns a country club and has like a lot
Speaker 1: of people world. So you had the resources ever nice wedding. Then, yeah,
Speaker 1: it was great, great, it was really a great party.
Speaker 1: Never I always wondered, like my my one friend had
Speaker 1: got married in Hawaii years back, and I wanted to go,
Speaker 1: but I was so broke and I've always wanted to
Speaker 1: go to Hawaii whatever, and I couldn't go. And then
Speaker 1: they ended up getting divorced, like four months later. I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: glad didn't go to that wedding. Four months to yeah,
Speaker 1: four or five, I think, I think pretty soon, I
Speaker 1: mean Jesus, yeah, but okay, so we'll get back to that.
Speaker 1: But also, he texted you your X now, yes, asking
Speaker 1: for a baby. He didn't because he wanted a sandwich.
Speaker 1: You want the stan so you wanted your husband was
Speaker 1: going to make it for you. I wanted him to
Speaker 1: buy it for me and bring it over because I
Speaker 1: didn't have any of my stuff because the wait, it
Speaker 1: was just after you lost your stuff, part of anything.
Speaker 1: And it was like four in the afternoon, and I
Speaker 1: was like, can you how did you contact him? Well,
Speaker 1: it was this someone you have contacts with regularly, or yeah,
Speaker 1: I have a he bought me a dog and so
Speaker 1: I let him. After the divorce or before before. Oh,
Speaker 1: I let him come over and visit with the dog.
Speaker 1: That's nice of you. Okay, yeah. I always wonder about
Speaker 1: pets because it's like the legal system isn't going to
Speaker 1: really take care of pets. But if I had a
Speaker 1: dog with somebody and then we separated, I would be
Speaker 1: I would really want to see that dogs. I know,
Speaker 1: and he's the best dog ever. You probably second best
Speaker 1: after Pinkerton. But that's fine. I mean pretty Pinkerton is
Speaker 1: not even my dog. Was the sick part about that,
Speaker 1: But we'll talk about that. You're gonna have a problem, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: for sure. Yeah. I needn't even date that person. Nope,
Speaker 1: you just stole their dog. Well, the dog cluger. You know,
Speaker 1: I made it tomorrow. We see it two different ways,
Speaker 1: but I can't help it. I don't know with me,
Speaker 1: you know, true, I'm sorry. Well, I want to go
Speaker 1: back to uh this baby asking baby. Yeah. So brought
Speaker 1: me a sandwich and then I was eating the sandwich.
Speaker 1: It was a tough time in the sandwich because I
Speaker 1: had a fat lip and then poor thing and I
Speaker 1: was like, you can't put it on a wrap so
Speaker 1: I can chew it, and he Uh. He was laying
Speaker 1: there and he's like, let's make a baby. I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm just coming off Molly and uh not that mine
Speaker 1: were probably need a good hours before this conversation. I
Speaker 1: need to get redraded. Yeah. He just meant literally like,
Speaker 1: let's like, let's do what you want to fuck. You
Speaker 1: want to make it seem better. We still fuck. Of
Speaker 1: course you do. That's the way to do that. What
Speaker 1: is the purpose of happening over? Why would you have
Speaker 1: an ex husband if you're not fucking? I've married so
Speaker 1: many people I need to resec How many people have
Speaker 1: you married? Three? I was gonna say, I was how
Speaker 1: in your thirty five? Okay? Now, why do you think?
Speaker 1: I don't know? I don't know much about you except
Speaker 1: that we've had fun times and you helped me fend
Speaker 1: off mean girls at Crane's birthday party and checking me.
Speaker 1: But I really wanted to job. But like, why why
Speaker 1: do you think you is? There is? There was? There
Speaker 1: is already common threads between these relationships with the three
Speaker 1: guys are just no. I mean, the first two were
Speaker 1: very similar. They're both in finance, and then and they
Speaker 1: were both tall, and then the third one then really
Speaker 1: put them through the ringer there. I was like, or
Speaker 1: was that your criteria for I do love a tall dude. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're so good. It's too tall. I'm like, I gotta
Speaker 1: climb you, and I feel like you're up in the strategy.
Speaker 1: Really Yeah, oh yeah that's cool. Yeah, right, that makes
Speaker 1: me feel I'm five ft three and a half. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I like feeling tall. Funnel, I wouldn't like that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I would date somebody I'm taller than for sure I
Speaker 1: have before. It was fucking fun. I couldn't do it,
Speaker 1: so okay, But the first two were tall, worked in finance.
Speaker 1: Anything about their personality were similar? No, And how like
Speaker 1: what I'm curious about because I hear this a lot
Speaker 1: about people being married for like seven days. Why what
Speaker 1: went into you saying yes to marriage and then one
Speaker 1: went into realizing seven days in that this was not
Speaker 1: the right decision. Well, I knew before I married the
Speaker 1: second guy that I probably shouldn't marry him. What what
Speaker 1: in your head? What were the flags? Well, it was beautiful,
Speaker 1: I'll say something nice people, I say something mean someone therapy.
Speaker 1: But he was really dumb, Like he was stunning, but
Speaker 1: he was so stupid. Yeah, and he likes. He's like
Speaker 1: you ever realized, like the sky is just like blue
Speaker 1: and ship. We went to my favorite restaurant and I said,
Speaker 1: I'll take pickled cucumbers, which are pickles, and he like,
Speaker 1: just wordplay whatever, and he goes with pickles or cucumbers.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, I do We're staying
Speaker 1: that in your hand and then outside you're like, yes,
Speaker 1: I'll marry you dinner. He like, we planned this whole
Speaker 1: Irish ceremony. We have a clag not ring. We did
Speaker 1: the whole thing, and then um, his grandma goes, oh,
Speaker 1: you're not Irish, You're German. Did he think he was Irish?
Speaker 1: What I gave him that idea because he likes lucky charms?
Speaker 1: He just decided that he was Irish. And maybe he
Speaker 1: thought you could pick your ethnicity being white man, Jeremy,
Speaker 1: I don't think about it. That would be fun. I
Speaker 1: would pick Norwegian. I think very nice and they all
Speaker 1: look different so at all. So when he was in
Speaker 1: these moments where you were like kind of metaphorically like
Speaker 1: slapping your forehead with the palm of your hand, you
Speaker 1: didn't that didn't say, you didn't say to yourself like
Speaker 1: I shouldn't be with this person forever. No, we bought
Speaker 1: a house together before we got married. How long have
Speaker 1: you been seeing each other before? Like seven months? Wow,
Speaker 1: I'm a quick one. That's a quick mover. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: people get out, keep on, move quick, and then sometimes
Speaker 1: they get in and they stay in forever, and you're like, what,
Speaker 1: I didn't think that was gonna happen. I think that
Speaker 1: was just Dharma and Greg and then everyone else. It
Speaker 1: really went downhill from I don't know. I always just
Speaker 1: want I always say yes, I've been engaged seven times.
Speaker 1: You've been engaged seven times, so I have gone out
Speaker 1: of it before. Well obviously, yeah, how how do you
Speaker 1: get out of seven engage? Wait? So, so that means
Speaker 1: that four of the engagements you've gotten out of now
Speaker 1: you got out of all four like you were the
Speaker 1: initiator of getting out of them. I always break up.
Speaker 1: How is that conversation? And by the fourth time you
Speaker 1: kind of an expert at it? No, it's still like
Speaker 1: still kills me because they look like little puppies and
Speaker 1: you're like, I'm sorry, but see you you're kind of
Speaker 1: you seem less fascinating, like more of a badass bitch.
Speaker 1: So I'm I'm intrigued by the fact that you're so sensitive.
Speaker 1: I want my life to be a rom com, but
Speaker 1: I also want to be a badass. I want to Okay,
Speaker 1: I see that. I understand that I also don't want
Speaker 1: to be alone, But then when I'm together, I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: I definitely want to be alone. Right. I was like,
Speaker 1: you always like whatever you don't Oh, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1: I mean you've been dating James for a lot while, right,
Speaker 1: I mean, the idea of being in a relationship is great,
Speaker 1: and I do like being a relationship. But then I'm like,
Speaker 1: I really like being alone too, So I don't know,
Speaker 1: like I really could never with somebody. I mean, you
Speaker 1: would have to be a monstrous house. So are you
Speaker 1: going to get married ever? Um? I'm kind of like, like,
Speaker 1: if someone really wants to, I will, but it's if
Speaker 1: I hope someone asked me, but I probably might say now,
Speaker 1: like I want someone to ask, but I don't want
Speaker 1: the option. Yeah, I don't know that I necessarily want
Speaker 1: to do. And I mean it makes me feel I'm
Speaker 1: like feeling like a little hot right now, just like
Speaker 1: it feels very fine, even though obviously it's not. But
Speaker 1: it's just that's a big there's just a lot of
Speaker 1: weight on it. Yeah, but may I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Is there a weight to marriage for you? Fuck? Yes,
Speaker 1: Like you feel the psychic connection and then all of
Speaker 1: a sudden the walls start closing in and you're like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm trapped forever. Psych a connection with
Speaker 1: the person with your partner, like it changes. Like I
Speaker 1: still feel even though I hate my first husband, I
Speaker 1: still feel very connected to him, even though I don't
Speaker 1: talk to him anymore. Oh, how old were you the
Speaker 1: first time you got? Nineteen nine? Okay? Goodness? And what
Speaker 1: did your parents say? I didn't say anything because I
Speaker 1: didn't tell him. Oh, there you go. That's how that happens,
Speaker 1: all right. I love how we get things like fun,
Speaker 1: I went to Vegas and got married and probably Britney Spears.
Speaker 1: And was it just your boyfriend at the time you
Speaker 1: got married to. Yeah, you had just gotten divorced. Like
Speaker 1: his paper word came through and we're like, hey, we're
Speaker 1: both free this weekend. Let's dot wait. Wait, wait, every
Speaker 1: question is getting the best answer pot Now you know
Speaker 1: I was nineteen once? But did you what was your
Speaker 1: wrist taker? And you don't seem to really which is good,
Speaker 1: like it's good end bad because maybe should you have her?
Speaker 1: I don't know, you don't get down on your you know,
Speaker 1: I don't seem like your heart on yourself for making
Speaker 1: a spur of the moment decision. It's really ignorant. Maybe
Speaker 1: people do stupid, like not stupid. You're not saying that
Speaker 1: stuff was stupid. It was just like you got caught
Speaker 1: up in the in the moment. It's easy to do. Especially.
Speaker 1: That's why I think a lot of people get married
Speaker 1: young when they do is because you're like, the feeling
Speaker 1: that you have when you meet somebody that you're connected
Speaker 1: to is just the most electric, oh my god, addictive, amazing,
Speaker 1: and it's hard to see past that. So I do understand.
Speaker 1: But do you ever go maybe you know, by the
Speaker 1: seventh time you get proposed to, you're like, let me
Speaker 1: make sure I really really want this? Like do you
Speaker 1: do you redevelop your sense of being cautious? Like you're interesting?
Speaker 1: So are these are these divorces? Do they wound you?
Speaker 1: Or do they inspire you to get married again? It
Speaker 1: seems like that it was just it's beautiful. I mean
Speaker 1: I probably will right, No, I mean I had no doubt. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're only you have many marriages ahead of you. Wow,
Speaker 1: I had no idea about that that existed. The fact
Speaker 1: about you. Yeah, here you really are really am now
Speaker 1: have um every one of your you were married three times?
Speaker 1: Did you have sex on the honeymoon all three times?
Speaker 1: Or the day the wedding night? No? My second husband
Speaker 1: had a milkshake at the reception and his stomach. What
Speaker 1: an asshole? You don't have a reception has milk. That's
Speaker 1: awesome country club fountain, like a water fountain. So no,
Speaker 1: It's like there's so many people around who like barely
Speaker 1: can find a suitable date and here you are getting
Speaker 1: proposed to seven times, getting married three times, and all
Speaker 1: you're the one stopping it every time. Like, so what
Speaker 1: is it about you? Not that you are not special
Speaker 1: to the eye, but like there has to be something
Speaker 1: like you seem rich and beautiful, Like what I don't
Speaker 1: I put out the vibe that I don't want to
Speaker 1: be in a relationship. Oh perfect at all? That makes
Speaker 1: man makes everyone You're like a like a fly tape,
Speaker 1: like in a in a fucking barn with ship and
Speaker 1: then you talk a lot. I also, it's been such
Speaker 1: a huge, uh source of tension in most of my
Speaker 1: relationships that I don't talk enough where you find because
Speaker 1: that's our initial attraction, Like, oh my gosh, she's not
Speaker 1: gonna bore me with girl talk, and I just don't
Speaker 1: like talking. I don't either. Maybe that's why you get
Speaker 1: in this situation because you don't express myself. She's just
Speaker 1: like okay, because maybe it's like less of a hurdle
Speaker 1: in your head to be like, yeah, sure, I don't know. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm polite, like ill you know, they've always asked me
Speaker 1: in front of many people. Oh, I've always said yes,
Speaker 1: oh my mom, public proposals that all seven were in
Speaker 1: front of groups every single oh oh yeah, well that's
Speaker 1: a whole another yeah. God. But if after after a
Speaker 1: short amount of courting, isn't anyone in the family like, hey,
Speaker 1: won't you what what are you doing? Speaks? Someone needs
Speaker 1: to speak up. Sometimes no one's ever contested this, no,
Speaker 1: And I feel like maybe after the by the time
Speaker 1: the seventh one, can't you sense it like this is
Speaker 1: gonna be You're gonna break out into a silent mob
Speaker 1: and do a dance to fucking Bruno Mars song and
Speaker 1: then here he comes on a fucking skateboard with a
Speaker 1: ring like you would. Oh god. And then I'm never enthusiastic.
Speaker 1: I've never cried once. You know how they have all
Speaker 1: those videos with the girls are like, oh god, I'm
Speaker 1: always like, Okay, is there a photo or a video?
Speaker 1: You tell me there's a video of one of the proposals. No,
Speaker 1: I know, I've destroyed all the photos of everything. Okay.
Speaker 1: I go through and do like a whole cleanse. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm sure you have your knowing that for the your
Speaker 1: your process that you've prepared after seven times, it's probably perfected.
Speaker 1: And I said you should write a book. Well, it's
Speaker 1: like you gotta sleep with three dudes right afterwards and
Speaker 1: then cleanse the badge. And then you cleanse the badge
Speaker 1: with more dicks, more dicks. Sounds great? And that one
Speaker 1: days yeah, yeah, and then he moved on. Then you're ready.
Speaker 1: What was the longest amount of time you've been married for?
Speaker 1: First one two and a half years? Okay years? Yeah, sorry, Okay,
Speaker 1: that's a that's a good run. Yeah it was. And
Speaker 1: one of the conversations like, you know, I feel like
Speaker 1: you're you're breaking up either a proposal or a marriage conversations.
Speaker 1: Probably you're probably pretty calm. I don't know. I'm getting
Speaker 1: this calm all the time. Yeah. Yeah. The first one
Speaker 1: he was like, okay, I'm he was a uh An
Speaker 1: Army grad and he was like, I'm gonna go. I'm
Speaker 1: getting stationed in Germany. I was like, yo, I don't
Speaker 1: want to go. So he's going to be the permanently
Speaker 1: until further noticing. And then I was like, Germany's not
Speaker 1: my my bag. So two year old, this was this
Speaker 1: was I got engaged when I was eighteen first and
Speaker 1: then nineteen. How did you meet that when you're eighteen
Speaker 1: in high school? Well, my uncle was a professor at
Speaker 1: West Point and so he forced date everybody. Yeah, he
Speaker 1: forced you to date everybody. I'd show up and I
Speaker 1: was like a big marathon runner, so i'd go there
Speaker 1: and train because there's a lot of mountains there, and
Speaker 1: then he would he'd be like, hey, I've got five
Speaker 1: guys that you need to meet right now. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I just ran like eighty miles. Can I give a
Speaker 1: girl a minute? So yeah, he would have me have
Speaker 1: me like in the firing range with dudes. He'd give
Speaker 1: them each three questions and then I had. He was
Speaker 1: so rude. I love him, but he was like the
Speaker 1: is he an asshole in like a funny way? Fun
Speaker 1: were funny? Or was he being kind of talking down
Speaker 1: to you? Be men or only funny? Okay, I gotta
Speaker 1: he would torture me. But why were they trying to
Speaker 1: get you off the market? It's so so badly Well,
Speaker 1: he tried to get married right away. I told him
Speaker 1: he knows, he knows not what he does well, because
Speaker 1: I was always so a laxa days ago, and so
Speaker 1: he was like, this girl is never gonna get married
Speaker 1: or date anybody. And I was like, you don't even
Speaker 1: know the stuff I've done all and then lo and
Speaker 1: behold you fucking let's do this baby marathon marriages and engagements.
Speaker 1: It's nuts. Kay, alright, is he gonna get married? I
Speaker 1: think maybe? I think you are. Maybe I'm not. Um,
Speaker 1: I'm very interested. Mixed feelings about marriage. No, I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm not. I don't know. I don't know. It wouldn't
Speaker 1: break my heart if we never did, but I feel
Speaker 1: like we probably will. I think just like the idea
Speaker 1: of like celebrating the love that you have is cool.
Speaker 1: It's just the traditions I don't get, which I know
Speaker 1: you don't have to incorporate, but it's a lot of money,
Speaker 1: which now, I mean I was broke from my whole life,
Speaker 1: Like I don't even have ten bucks in my same account.
Speaker 1: So the idea of a of a wedding was like,
Speaker 1: it's never gonna happen, you know, they are so expensive,
Speaker 1: Like and then doesn't bride's parents. I mean, I'm sure
Speaker 1: after number two they're well not one of them was Vegas,
Speaker 1: so your parents, like is a tradition that still happens though,
Speaker 1: that the bride's parents are supposed to pay for most
Speaker 1: of it or all of it or something. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: so weird, but I mean most of my friends just
Speaker 1: paid for their own weddings and each each parents like
Speaker 1: donated a little bit or like one parent was like
Speaker 1: I'll get the DJ. Then men you yeah, you can
Speaker 1: do whatever you want. And then and then you're like,
Speaker 1: this better be the best fucking night effort because we
Speaker 1: have planned. And it's like that's why people are bride Zilla's. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because you put everything on that night. Bride Zilla. No,
Speaker 1: I actually, let I can't imagine you being like whatever
Speaker 1: you can plan. I don't even care pick whatever call
Speaker 1: you want, it doesn't matter. Have you ever been emotionally
Speaker 1: president at any of you? What we're have you? What
Speaker 1: was do? Can you recall any straying thoughts in your
Speaker 1: head going on as you were having the vows read
Speaker 1: to you? Like? What? Okay, So my my aunt's married
Speaker 1: to like this ninety eight year old dude runs in
Speaker 1: the family. Here we go, we're getting context clues. All
Speaker 1: I remember was staring out at him and going, he's
Speaker 1: like purple, He's like so gray, he's purple. That was
Speaker 1: during your aunt's wedding. That was during her second wedding.
Speaker 1: You were thinking about how your aunt's husband is so gray,
Speaker 1: he's purple. Yeah, And then I was like, am I
Speaker 1: when one am I supposed to answer? Here? I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm just really I wouldn't attention. Wow, Yeah, it was
Speaker 1: really did you get did you ask the priest to
Speaker 1: repeat the question? Repeat the vent? No? I just wait
Speaker 1: until there was a big pause, and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh I do. But didn't Didn't that feel scary to
Speaker 1: be agreeing to this thing that you didn't really feel
Speaker 1: like you were into. Yeah, because when I you walk out?
Speaker 1: So I walked out of like this secret garden type thing.
Speaker 1: These are the most over the top one. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: then the horse came giant carros. The wedding planners assistant
Speaker 1: was there, what three three assisted? Since good god, was
Speaker 1: your gown ridiculous? It was so ridiculous. You have butterflies,
Speaker 1: any hair and green. It was so beautiful, like it
Speaker 1: was gorgeous because everyone's like, well, you know, she's been
Speaker 1: married someone, you know. I was like, experiment, let's be
Speaker 1: honest with everyone here. So then I was walking out
Speaker 1: and she goes, oh my god, you two are going
Speaker 1: to have the most beautiful babies, and I went no,
Speaker 1: It's like, no, we're not gonna have any kids at all,
Speaker 1: because I'm already out, like this is gonna be such
Speaker 1: a good party. And then I'm gonna leave. And that's
Speaker 1: what really happened, meaning and leave the marriage. Yes, you
Speaker 1: knew the day you got married that you're gonna get divorced. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because everybody was staying at the resort from the Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's hotel rooms at the at the country club, and
Speaker 1: everyone stayed there. And I went home and hung out
Speaker 1: with my dog and then I got a manicure in petticure.
Speaker 1: The next morning by myself and everybody was like getting ready.
Speaker 1: Showed up in the room that I was supposed to
Speaker 1: stay in. Did he like call you and be like, yo,
Speaker 1: where where now? I was getting drunk. He was having fun. Oh,
Speaker 1: so he didn't care. And then he had Yeah, I
Speaker 1: just needed him to like undo my wedding dress the
Speaker 1: next night and he undid it and I had this
Speaker 1: bang in laundry. I love laundre and uh, and he
Speaker 1: was like oh and he just patted me on the
Speaker 1: back and he's like, I was stemmac ache. This isn't
Speaker 1: the one who made them out the milkshake. And I
Speaker 1: was like, okay. So he really wasn't into it either.
Speaker 1: He was because when I left, because he was like,
Speaker 1: if you I went and partied on the sixteenth day.
Speaker 1: I went out and party, and then the next day
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm gonna go out and drink again
Speaker 1: because I got a new job and I was like
Speaker 1: socializing with everyone, and uh, he goes, if you don't
Speaker 1: come home tonight, it's over, and I go, okay, thanks
Speaker 1: for making that easy. And then I just didn't come home.
Speaker 1: Whoa you goes to your husband ghosted? And then so
Speaker 1: I was a dick. But then, uh my, the hard
Speaker 1: top to my jeep was at his parents house. Many sentence,
Speaker 1: what a sentence. I hate that. Ladies on the hard
Speaker 1: top to your jeep said you're sucking husband to b
Speaker 1: x's house. That sucks it's parents. Like two weekends later,
Speaker 1: I was sick of job around with my top top
Speaker 1: to I drove over there and they were having a
Speaker 1: barbecue and he comes out and he's like, no, it's
Speaker 1: not it's not a good time to talk. But I
Speaker 1: was like, that's fine. Um, I don't mean my hard top.
Speaker 1: So was he like, oh fuck you, Mara, Yeah, pretty much?
Speaker 1: Really Yeah. I had to be like mean to him. Wow,
Speaker 1: have you ever been like madly in love? Um, I
Speaker 1: think to my first one, I really do my first husband. Okay,
Speaker 1: so in the yes, okay, in the army guy, but
Speaker 1: now how does that work? And not? And I've dated
Speaker 1: people much older than me, but not but nineteen and forty, Like,
Speaker 1: what is a forty two year old whom Mary is
Speaker 1: a nineteen year old like a child. I think they're
Speaker 1: all children, That's what I wanted to say. But I'm like,
Speaker 1: maybe I'm just being, you know, assuming child. And he
Speaker 1: had four kids, and I was his fourth wife. So
Speaker 1: he was like he would like play video games with
Speaker 1: his kids all the time. He was just like a kid,
Speaker 1: but he was What did you love about him? He
Speaker 1: had a very charming, very careous, very funny. He drove
Speaker 1: the car really well. I really like that. There's something
Speaker 1: to be said for that. All Right, I could fall
Speaker 1: asleep in the car. It was nice. Trust is important.
Speaker 1: Relationship tall good drivers play video games with kids, right,
Speaker 1: that's nice. That's nice. Knows about marriage because he's in it.
Speaker 1: You know, he's done it. I'm working on having a
Speaker 1: standard I mean why, I mean, are you is this
Speaker 1: like like the life that you've let it's obviously not boring?
Speaker 1: Are you happy with that? Like? Or is you? Are
Speaker 1: you like this is pretty cool? I could probably have
Speaker 1: more of a savings account if I would not do this,
Speaker 1: But I think that really yeah? Yeah, but like money,
Speaker 1: you know what else? Yeah? What really makes your blood boil? Um?
Speaker 1: I really don't like it when people are mean to children. Okay,
Speaker 1: I hate when puppies get hit. So is there like
Speaker 1: an example of this that you can remember that? Really?
Speaker 1: That's why the guy playing video games with your kids
Speaker 1: and his kid you're like, oh, he's nice to the kids.
Speaker 1: That prince charming. Um, yeah, there's a there's a comic
Speaker 1: out in San Diego and he was a foster child
Speaker 1: and is he in and out of the foster homes
Speaker 1: music an adorable child, so he kept getting readopted, but
Speaker 1: his mom handcuffed him to the TV and had men
Speaker 1: have sex with him for five to pay the rent.
Speaker 1: And so he bological, remember one of those biological moms.
Speaker 1: And so I was like, I can't handle this beyond
Speaker 1: being mean. Ye, that's a child abuse slash pedophilial, like
Speaker 1: a weird sex trass, a lot of layers. So I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't think anyone likes that. And if you do,
Speaker 1: you should just walk right on down of the prison
Speaker 1: because oh boy, you gotta go to Pervert Park if
Speaker 1: you if you, oh that's in Florida and Florida what Oh,
Speaker 1: it's a documentary on Netflix that will it's all people
Speaker 1: mind blowing and fascinating and kind of reaffirmed a lot
Speaker 1: of what Cord and I thought about, like, you know,
Speaker 1: you can't cast pedophiles off as these horrible monsters that
Speaker 1: should never see the light of dig and you have
Speaker 1: to help them and just all these sorts of you
Speaker 1: have to make sure that you're they're not having sex
Speaker 1: with children, but then be rehability right first, just make
Speaker 1: sure they stop having sex with kids. That's the that's
Speaker 1: the primary. Yeah, yeah, like don't then secondary rehabilitate, not
Speaker 1: just because you know pedophiles are like that's like the
Speaker 1: one type of person who like pedophiles almost always if
Speaker 1: they are sent to prison, have to be in solitary
Speaker 1: confinement because they're in prison. And what I didn't realize
Speaker 1: was all the people's stories as you as you get
Speaker 1: to know the people more that live in this trailer
Speaker 1: park that it's designed for people who got out of prison,
Speaker 1: who were you know on the sex uh um the list,
Speaker 1: um the sex offenders, sex offenders list. They were they
Speaker 1: were molesson as kids, a lot of them. That's one
Speaker 1: woman's story. Well, so now you feel empathy for them
Speaker 1: instead of like because now I under kill stand it.
Speaker 1: H I still don't feel I mean, it's still the documentary.
Speaker 1: You might feel some empathy. Honestly, I think it's a
Speaker 1: great I think it's a really good documentary because it's
Speaker 1: it's not Yeah, obviously you have to stop doing that
Speaker 1: and and there are people who exist who are have
Speaker 1: a pedophilic mindset but do not act on it, and
Speaker 1: those people have a lot of heroes because imagine it's
Speaker 1: like if you if your brain is telling you that
Speaker 1: the only thing that's going to turn you on sexually
Speaker 1: is having sex with a kid, but then this other
Speaker 1: part of your brain is like, but I know morally
Speaker 1: that is wrong and I cannot act out on that.
Speaker 1: So then you have these two things trying to Because
Speaker 1: I really think that it is it is a imbalance
Speaker 1: in your brain. I don't think anyone just wakes up
Speaker 1: in the morning is like no, some kids today if
Speaker 1: you have Netflix search for a pervert part, it's interesting,
Speaker 1: really interesting, because I what what interests me about all
Speaker 1: these especially dark situations like that, like rape, molestation. But
Speaker 1: I'm I'm just trying to figure out why this happens,
Speaker 1: Like what's the mindset of the people committing these acts?
Speaker 1: Like I just I'm just so interested to know because
Speaker 1: we hear from victims all the time, and it's like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I get, you know, certain questions that I had about
Speaker 1: what happens if you're a victim of this horrible thing,
Speaker 1: But now I want to know, like why do people
Speaker 1: do this? Like were they molested as a kid, were
Speaker 1: they raped? Did they see something where they are their
Speaker 1: brains just so fucking fucked you know, because then it's like,
Speaker 1: figure you can figure out how to sell painous. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was prostituted for a while. It's a long story.
Speaker 1: We're not gonna we'll pass over that. But that seems
Speaker 1: like the stroy not to pass over there on the guys.
Speaker 1: And there was there was a guy that sent me
Speaker 1: a picture ahead of time of his niece and wanted
Speaker 1: and sent me money. It's like six sent me money
Speaker 1: to dress like her. Oh yeah wait? Was he trying
Speaker 1: to not funck his niece? Yes? Okay? Pick And I
Speaker 1: was like you admirable? Yeah yeah, okay? And you was
Speaker 1: this instance you being forced into prostitution for this guy?
Speaker 1: I mean I was forced into this, but it was
Speaker 1: still like in your head you were still like okay,
Speaker 1: I seem like yeah, wait, so how how old were
Speaker 1: you when when this happened? And how so and how
Speaker 1: how was it sex trafficking? Yes, that is alive and
Speaker 1: well we are learning more love talking about sex trafficking
Speaker 1: because some people still think it doesn't exist. Oh, no,
Speaker 1: it first sure does. Especially Yeah, out in San Diego
Speaker 1: the del Mar Race tracks, people get stolen and then
Speaker 1: pushed right back out on the opening day. They're like,
Speaker 1: I think it's sixty percent prostitutes that are women there.
Speaker 1: It's crazy. And you just look for like the ones
Speaker 1: with their fear in their eyes. You always that's horrible.
Speaker 1: You always here. I always here the past couple of years,
Speaker 1: just because I'm being more aware of it. Um, prostitutes
Speaker 1: are like in high demand, like their busy seasons are
Speaker 1: one of the busiest cities Washington, d C. But any
Speaker 1: sports of anywhere, the super Bowl is And I was like,
Speaker 1: what the fuck? Like and then but then when we're
Speaker 1: learning about sex trafficking and it's not just children being
Speaker 1: trafficked and raped, but it's like adult women, like young
Speaker 1: women are being drugged and just kept under this drug comma,
Speaker 1: then what the bus going on? I'm like, God, damn it,
Speaker 1: it's crazy. So was that because I was like, how
Speaker 1: how does a twenty eight year old woman basically get
Speaker 1: kidnapped and force into sex? A gun? A gun and drugs?
Speaker 1: Were drugs? Definitely drugs? Yeah, injection into my arm like immediately,
Speaker 1: and then he drove me to d C and I
Speaker 1: know it was crazy. It was like three days of craziness.
Speaker 1: And then he would go every morning to get yogurt
Speaker 1: and an orange juice, so like four am and I
Speaker 1: just bolted. Okay, wow, she escaped from him. So you
Speaker 1: got kidnapped put drugs were put into your body by drugs?
Speaker 1: Like so you like immediately fell asleep? Er, yeah, it
Speaker 1: was I was, and he transplented open. But it was
Speaker 1: like la la la. I don't know. I don't how
Speaker 1: did he do? How did he? I mean, I guess
Speaker 1: you don't have to even have an action with someone
Speaker 1: to put a needle with drugs in the room, Like
Speaker 1: you can just come up. Did you come up behind
Speaker 1: you during the day? Was this it was during the day.
Speaker 1: I was at a coffee shop and I was working.
Speaker 1: Did he did he engage you in conversation or just literally? Yeah? Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: it was just did you when you escaped? Did you
Speaker 1: call mine one? What? Like? What do you do? Um?
Speaker 1: I just yeah, I did. I went to the police,
Speaker 1: but I still like circled around because I couldn't find
Speaker 1: it because I felt I hadn't been sleeping for like days,
Speaker 1: So I just was still way out of it and
Speaker 1: I was more outfit, and I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: what were it was really crazy? Oh my god, it
Speaker 1: wasn't it was nuts. So you tell the police and
Speaker 1: like what how did the police react to? They were
Speaker 1: actually very gentle, but they sent me over to the FBI.
Speaker 1: They were did they test you for the drug? Like
Speaker 1: and did the whole rape kit drug test? I didn't
Speaker 1: go on the HIV meds that really when like increased
Speaker 1: to forever. But then I drank on it because I
Speaker 1: was because you're not supposed to drink, and I was
Speaker 1: at the end and I was like, okay, I can
Speaker 1: have like a sip of vodka because I went to
Speaker 1: go see Joe Kui at Caroline and uh, because he's
Speaker 1: I'm a bud with him, and yeah, well and also
Speaker 1: imagine you're trying to get back to your normal life.
Speaker 1: I got back to normal life too fast. I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm fine, I'm totally fine, and then I was like,
Speaker 1: I am not fine. When did you realize you weren't fine?
Speaker 1: Pretty quick after that, like six months after that, and
Speaker 1: then I took two years off of doing comedy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was like it's time to just like take a
Speaker 1: little break and go to therapy. Did that guy ever
Speaker 1: get caught. No, he left the country because they want
Speaker 1: they Yeah, I have his name. They had a picture
Speaker 1: of him, but he's Russian Jewish and he lived in Atlanta.
Speaker 1: They had a storage. You in Atlanta airport is the biggest. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's crazy, it's crazy. But then I read I got
Speaker 1: really into reading about the underground prostitution. There's like an umbrella,
Speaker 1: pink umbrellas, it's it's yeah and they And so I
Speaker 1: gave the FBI all the blogs that I was reading,
Speaker 1: and I was like, you need to go and save
Speaker 1: these girls. Are there are these blogs women that are
Speaker 1: currently being trafficked. They were like post traffic and they
Speaker 1: had like a story and information. I'm sure that you
Speaker 1: can piece together because you know, it's like everyone in
Speaker 1: a drug induced state. I would imagine we have a
Speaker 1: little bit of a different recollection. So you can kind
Speaker 1: of like quilted together. And if you are in the
Speaker 1: business of piecing things together, like you should be if
Speaker 1: you're in the FBI, maybe you could figure something out.
Speaker 1: It's my roommate there. She was actually addicted to heroin,
Speaker 1: and so she just was like voluntary at the at
Speaker 1: some point, like she was being traffic was he was
Speaker 1: she getting heroin shot into her? Yeah? I mean she
Speaker 1: at first, but like or okay, so she started heroin
Speaker 1: on her own. Yeah, I would imagine that's another way
Speaker 1: to get somebody to fucking their very well nor Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: of course it's easy that way. How does one emotionally,
Speaker 1: uh come to terms with being sex trafficked? Um, you
Speaker 1: just kind of compartmentalize. You're like, that wasn't me, that
Speaker 1: was a moment and now yeah it was now whatever.
Speaker 1: Now I feel like I'm reel a lot more. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I am disgusted with men a little bit more. Yeah
Speaker 1: that's fair, Yeah, very fair. But I did have fun
Speaker 1: with one of the guys who bought me like five
Speaker 1: times while you're being trafficed. I was like, wow, interesting,
Speaker 1: so what wow? Now okay, wow, that's so interesting. Well
Speaker 1: we had okay, so but wait did he that did
Speaker 1: that person, particularly person know that you were being sex
Speaker 1: trafficked or he did he think you were just like
Speaker 1: a regular prostitute, just regular profs? No one knew, And
Speaker 1: did you notice what if you what if you told
Speaker 1: one of the guys while you were alone, like help
Speaker 1: me because the guy was like outside my door. It
Speaker 1: wasn't a he was like in the next room or something. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I just thought I was like going crazy. I
Speaker 1: was like, he's bugged being yeah, yeah, he might have
Speaker 1: a microphone in your room or something. Because let'say, you think, oh,
Speaker 1: can you like slip someone in a no, and then
Speaker 1: after you know they can, they don't have that person
Speaker 1: wouldn't have to do anything, like but the police could
Speaker 1: come back or something. I'd also they probably wouldn't do
Speaker 1: anything because they just bought a prostitute for sure. Well
Speaker 1: that's true. Unfortunately, that's that's so fucked up, especially like
Speaker 1: the politicians that oh it's like they're never they're not
Speaker 1: saying right. And that's why the person trafficking these women,
Speaker 1: it doesn't think he's gonna get caught because the clients
Speaker 1: that are purchasing them have much more to lose. I mean,
Speaker 1: you know, and he has he has weight on his end. Um,
Speaker 1: how many men do you and if you don't want
Speaker 1: to talk about just say the world, but how many
Speaker 1: men did you see what you're being trafficked a little
Speaker 1: more than thirty? And this is in the course of
Speaker 1: a couple of days. Three days? Yeah, wow, what what
Speaker 1: did they? Were they kind? Where they mean to you?
Speaker 1: Where they kind to you? Know? Everybody was really cool. Yeah,
Speaker 1: everybody was except for the pedophile guy. And there was
Speaker 1: another guy that we went to his place and he
Speaker 1: had a he had was the guy who trapped you
Speaker 1: there with you? Yes, he drove me. There was a
Speaker 1: room above his garage and he came over and his
Speaker 1: family was asleep and this. I was like, you are
Speaker 1: the scum of the earth. I was like, don't do
Speaker 1: this in your own home. Wow. Did you see any
Speaker 1: of the money that you made? No? Like not. It's like,
Speaker 1: I'm like, what's what's happening. It's not even like a business,
Speaker 1: it's not even john. It's just truly like you're a
Speaker 1: sex slave. So how has this, How, if at all,
Speaker 1: has this experience shaped the way you have sex? Now? No,
Speaker 1: it really doesn't. I really have separated it. That's great.
Speaker 1: But are you repressing things or do you feel I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't know. Everyone heels in a totally different way.
Speaker 1: Like I know, I repress things, especially intense, like the
Speaker 1: most intense moments of my life. I'm like, yeah, it'll
Speaker 1: be fine, And then two years later, I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: well I had to write. I have like a notes thing.
Speaker 1: It's like things I remember because every once in a
Speaker 1: while it'll come back and I'm like, I should write
Speaker 1: this down because I don't remember. Were you drugged the
Speaker 1: whole time you were being trafficked? Yeah, mostly to like
Speaker 1: keep me awake. And what drugs were they? I have
Speaker 1: no idea? Yeah, wow, and the toxicology report though after
Speaker 1: you got what you didn't look you don't want to know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I didn't want to know anything. You don't want my
Speaker 1: clothes back? I didn't want Wow. Yeah, it was really weird.
Speaker 1: Did you see anybody in your time, like, um, any
Speaker 1: politicians you anybody recognized of the thirty people? Can you
Speaker 1: not say that I cannot say? Or they can we talk?
Speaker 1: Asked the field the politician or actor or um? All
Speaker 1: politicians and one major dude's son. Wait so and then
Speaker 1: so you can't talk about obviously like me because you
Speaker 1: just don't want to or have it. Has anyone like
Speaker 1: bribed your threatening you? I mean he did the room?
Speaker 1: Oh the guy would yeah, so he would like he
Speaker 1: kept threatening me, and that's really what like, I'll i'll
Speaker 1: if you run away, I'll kill you kind of thing.
Speaker 1: Kind of yeah, and you need to give me fifteen
Speaker 1: grand for the income that I'm going to lose over
Speaker 1: the next four days and blah blah blah. And I
Speaker 1: was like, no, what income he's got? How wait? Why
Speaker 1: would he lose income because I left? Oh, if you leave,
Speaker 1: you would need to Did he contact you after you?
Speaker 1: How did he contact you because he had my phone?
Speaker 1: Oh so he had all of your Yeah, and I
Speaker 1: just would have got a new phone. Like, the FBI
Speaker 1: was so sweet. They were they were like holding my hand,
Speaker 1: taking me to places to give my life back to
Speaker 1: go because I don't have very positive impressions of the
Speaker 1: FBI just threw shitty stories that I that I hear
Speaker 1: that I read about. I think it's situational, like they're
Speaker 1: a little more gentle. What what was it a female
Speaker 1: or males? And it was both. And here's the crazy part.
Speaker 1: I think that's the only thing that Like my FBI
Speaker 1: agent was this tiny Asian whoever like half head shaved,
Speaker 1: and I was like, you're fucking hot. And I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm just coming off this very weird right. Well, you
Speaker 1: want closeness with someone who was in Harbor. I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't protecting and not imagining she was also pregnant.
Speaker 1: But I was like, wow, now, but I'm curious, why
Speaker 1: can't you, um what what is your hesitation? I'm just
Speaker 1: curious because it's something that happens a lot where people.
Speaker 1: It's I don't think people need to be out at
Speaker 1: for getting prostitutes at all. I don't. I don't think.
Speaker 1: I don't think because I don't think that's a wrong thing.
Speaker 1: But I think where it becomes wrong is because prostitution
Speaker 1: is illegal. That's why we have trafficking. I think we
Speaker 1: probably would still have trafficking even if it wasn't illegal.
Speaker 1: But um, well, I guess if the men weren't kind
Speaker 1: to you, what reason would you have to Uh? Well,
Speaker 1: and the men just thought they were getting regular prostitute,
Speaker 1: right right, right. But I'm like, if it was someone
Speaker 1: like a Donald Trump's fucking son or something, I don't know,
Speaker 1: but then it's like, um, why you know, morally, you
Speaker 1: don't want to have somebody for using the proscucts. That's
Speaker 1: not wrong, So it's I don't know. Also, forget what
Speaker 1: the first time this story, I got so many trolls
Speaker 1: that were like, you fucking liar, You're a piece of ship.
Speaker 1: You're the worst person on the planet. And I was like, um, thanks, thanks,
Speaker 1: this is awesome. So I just don't want to go
Speaker 1: down that road again. Totally, totally, totally, totally Yeah. One
Speaker 1: of the one of the things we hear a lot
Speaker 1: with the with the either I was raped, whre I
Speaker 1: was sexually assaulted in some ways like my mom didn't
Speaker 1: believe me, or that the all police officer called me
Speaker 1: a whore. I'm like, what the fuck? Yeah, no one.
Speaker 1: It's like the doubt is who in your personal life
Speaker 1: have you told about this? I mean, Andrew Colin, that's
Speaker 1: a comic body, my co host, because I know you
Speaker 1: have discussed this in a couple of podcasts like publicly before. Yes.
Speaker 1: Um so, because I I didn't know the full story,
Speaker 1: I kind of knew that this wasn't and then you
Speaker 1: couldn't kind of let into it. So I was like, well,
Speaker 1: if you want to go or if you are able
Speaker 1: to go there, let's for sure go there. Because I
Speaker 1: think we've been talking on the podcast a lot recently
Speaker 1: about sex trafficking. Um yeah, just because we've been become
Speaker 1: more aware of it and like when a couple of
Speaker 1: things have come out, like who Took Johnny and stuff,
Speaker 1: it was that was like child sex trafficking, but so
Speaker 1: many people and like then there was a lot of
Speaker 1: kind of like implications about sex trafficking and wiki leaks.
Speaker 1: Whether or not it was truly talking about sex trafficking,
Speaker 1: I don't know, Uh, but yes, we've just been talking
Speaker 1: about a lot late because people just don't really think
Speaker 1: it exists. But I mean even in airports really when
Speaker 1: we were on tour, there are there was just plane
Speaker 1: insight ads being like, yo, sex trafficking air points at
Speaker 1: airport interesting, yeah, because that's where they get Yeah, how
Speaker 1: did they get the girls out of there? I don't know.
Speaker 1: And they have to have a fake I D for
Speaker 1: them because they need I D. You know, they to
Speaker 1: to get the board a plane. Obviously there's ways, but
Speaker 1: it's one of those things where I'm like, that doesn't happen. Yeah,
Speaker 1: fucking does a lot. You know a lot. It happens
Speaker 1: a lot. So what are your views on prostitution now? Um?
Speaker 1: I really just because of the experience that I had,
Speaker 1: I really don't feel like it's that big of a deal. Um,
Speaker 1: like want yeah, like wanting to be a sex worker. Well,
Speaker 1: I know I have of that volunteer. Yeah, I have
Speaker 1: friends that do that. I'm like, and they tell me
Speaker 1: these stories. I'm like, you are the perfect person to
Speaker 1: be doing this, Like you love sex, you love people.
Speaker 1: They you demand respect and if you don't get the respect,
Speaker 1: you you're out, Like they pay you. Yeah, and you
Speaker 1: you want to have your reasons for being like you
Speaker 1: have your precautions that you go through to be safe.
Speaker 1: And it's like, okay, cool, it makes sense. But um,
Speaker 1: I also too. I'm like strippers and prostitutes and porn actresses,
Speaker 1: they're fine mentally, they're steps because I get so mad
Speaker 1: about the daddy and shoot thing and that everyone throws
Speaker 1: on them. But then I don't know, and then every
Speaker 1: time I dig deep into somebody who was part of
Speaker 1: that world, a lot of times I'm like, ah, well,
Speaker 1: most of the guys were like chubby and older, and
Speaker 1: they were a lot of them were like I just
Speaker 1: want to feel wanted. Yeah, And I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: you're if doesn't do a lot of things I've heard
Speaker 1: is like a lot of times I'll just talk to
Speaker 1: me from sex workers, like they'll just chat because I
Speaker 1: don't want to defeat me. They were like, can I
Speaker 1: bring sushi? I'm gonna go get sushi. And that's part
Speaker 1: of a fetish. I just watched the whole thing on
Speaker 1: Vice about that. Really, yeah, I'm obsessed. My friend is
Speaker 1: a thing with with her clients where she'll do um
Speaker 1: like the um money domination, financial domination, Like he'll she'll
Speaker 1: make him send him a picture of like him pissing
Speaker 1: on your like her wasting his money because that's a kink.
Speaker 1: That's like a kink for him. I'm like, wow, that's
Speaker 1: that's awesome alright on her terms. Are you at a
Speaker 1: point where do you can like could you always like
Speaker 1: think of it like not? I mean you said six
Speaker 1: months after you got out, you escaped, you talked to
Speaker 1: the FBI, you got the rape kit, you know, the
Speaker 1: investigation happened, whatever, and then six months is when it
Speaker 1: hit you like, I'm not, okay, what did that look like? Um?
Speaker 1: I just started isolating myself a lot to get a
Speaker 1: little fear when I was outside. Um. Yeah, And like
Speaker 1: you know, we're in a very huggy atmosphere all the time.
Speaker 1: You know, you go to a club and everybody hugs
Speaker 1: you and I was like, please don't huge and uh
Speaker 1: and I think hugging is important. I think physical touch
Speaker 1: is important. Um, but if you can't do it, that's
Speaker 1: like a sign that you're not okay. So I was
Speaker 1: just like, okay, it's probably time to go. And did
Speaker 1: you go to therapy? I did? Yeah? What did the
Speaker 1: therapist like help you? Did you tell the therapist what happened?
Speaker 1: You're like? She was like or he okay, alrighty, I
Speaker 1: know the first day she was really a start my timer.
Speaker 1: She told me just she was like, okay, so when
Speaker 1: you're out, just think you have a purple light glowing
Speaker 1: and that it's emanating a safety bubble. I was like,
Speaker 1: is that helpful? I just just hear what I said, bitch.
Speaker 1: I was traffic purple lights? Oh man, I would have
Speaker 1: been so much. Now, how did you even pick the
Speaker 1: therapist to begin with? Did you find someone who specialized
Speaker 1: because I was poor? So so they just give you
Speaker 1: one one of those intake things where they have an
Speaker 1: initial meeting and then they pair you. Yeah. So I did,
Speaker 1: like when the unit for six months and then I
Speaker 1: actually was like, okay, I'm gonna have to I'm gonna
Speaker 1: have to pay for my own now, because you are
Speaker 1: way over your pay grade. Here. My purple light has
Speaker 1: gone out. Yeah it's crazy, it was no light or
Speaker 1: fluid left. Sorry buddy, but I've been married since then.
Speaker 1: And do you tell your partners like when you yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: Well what do they say? Because like people I funk,
Speaker 1: I don't tell. Yeah, that's weird because that's a that's
Speaker 1: a load. They don't need that, that's not what they
Speaker 1: signed up for. And if it truly doesn't affect your
Speaker 1: sex life, it's like we don't have to. Like sometimes
Speaker 1: people write us they're like, should I tell my partner?
Speaker 1: And I look at the circumstance. I'm like, well, if
Speaker 1: you're intimate together and it's something that happened to you
Speaker 1: that really changed you are, or it was just trem
Speaker 1: attic and stuff, yeah, I think you should if you
Speaker 1: want to. But if you don't want to, I guess
Speaker 1: you don't have to know. I don't. It's not like
Speaker 1: a thing, especially a fun buddy or something. It's like
Speaker 1: it was like I just wanted to funk, but now
Speaker 1: I'm never going to get a bone, or so you're
Speaker 1: putting that condom on. Let me tell you a couple
Speaker 1: of things you want to get even harder. All right, well,
Speaker 1: damn have you ever been? Um? I hate using this world,
Speaker 1: but like triggered during sex. Um, So that's that's great.
Speaker 1: But it's really nice. It's my memories that way though,
Speaker 1: I think, Yeah, it's just because it's like, no, you
Speaker 1: don't have to remember any of that stuff. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: it's not school helping you. Do you get that way?
Speaker 1: It seems mine resurfaces though I shove it and then
Speaker 1: it comes back. Yeah. It's like those drunk flashbacks when
Speaker 1: you like black out and then the next day you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: do you ever get those? Yeah? I don't. I don't
Speaker 1: get I don't black out. I imagine Karenins talked to
Speaker 1: me about times when she blacked out, and she remember
Speaker 1: in pieces it's awful. But you're like in a public
Speaker 1: place and you yell out loud. You're like, oh no,
Speaker 1: oh god, I didn't yawn out. But then I'm just
Speaker 1: like and I just will sit thinking for hours and
Speaker 1: I'm like, but wait, and then that and then why
Speaker 1: was that was that person there? Oh? Oh no? Did
Speaker 1: I do that? A lot of checking, a lot of texting,
Speaker 1: a lot of emailing, a lot of okay, alright, I've
Speaker 1: said that text a couple of times in college. Oh god,
Speaker 1: I've done that. One time I sucked a dude and
Speaker 1: I blacked out and then I didn't remember what he
Speaker 1: looked like and wacked out during And then the next
Speaker 1: day he came to my gym to take a tour
Speaker 1: and I sat next to him and I was like,
Speaker 1: you look so familiar. It's his reaction today, and he goes,
Speaker 1: do I And I like, yeah, you do, and then
Speaker 1: I just walked away. And then I saw him later.
Speaker 1: I thought you were kidding. I know you think, But
Speaker 1: as soon as I saw him walking down Ninth Street,
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, likes told me before, like when
Speaker 1: she blacks out, other people don't really realize it because
Speaker 1: she's acting like she's just tipsy, like she's normal. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so it's hard to recognize you're standing on stage dancing
Speaker 1: with the d J. Well, that's why with like the
Speaker 1: gray area of rape, that's why a lot of times
Speaker 1: people are like, well, the moment someone's drunk, they can't
Speaker 1: consent anymore. But I'm like, there's no people. I would
Speaker 1: never accuse anyone of anything because I'm like, I was
Speaker 1: drunk and there was no way that you could know.
Speaker 1: You are not responsible for figuring out when I am
Speaker 1: too drunk if we are both drinking, and I do
Speaker 1: have a huge problem. I mean, I'm honestly unless because
Speaker 1: when you were blacked out, you truly don't seem like
Speaker 1: you would be making a decision that you wouldn't want to.
Speaker 1: And also if you're passed out falling over and you
Speaker 1: can't stand up, don't fun that persons like, that's not
Speaker 1: where you get But in instances where when we're both
Speaker 1: people are under the influence of drugs or alcohol or
Speaker 1: whatever it is, it's like no one is no one
Speaker 1: person is more responsible than the other person. Like people
Speaker 1: are equally responsible. Yes, Like if you're if you're under
Speaker 1: the influence, I know that I have been an active
Speaker 1: participation in sex and not been aware of my action. Yeah,
Speaker 1: me too. Absolutely. They were like you're crazy, and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I was awake. I'm just usually like
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh wow, I'm tell me even when I'm drunk.
Speaker 1: This is I mean, this is that I'm just an autopilot. Now,
Speaker 1: this is great, which moved sweet wow. I guess yeah,
Speaker 1: because I think it's just be to be to be
Speaker 1: really aware of, like number one, like how you act
Speaker 1: when you're drunk. It's so important to figure that out
Speaker 1: when you're young. How much can you take? You have
Speaker 1: to make sure that you're drinking, you know, don't call
Speaker 1: out drinking alone. That's just a dumb thing to do.
Speaker 1: Don't do that. Yeah, that's a sign him a whole difference,
Speaker 1: right right. So that's why I think I'm a fan
Speaker 1: of like when parents tell their kids, like their eighteen
Speaker 1: year old kid, like, oh, you can drink if it's
Speaker 1: in the house with me. Like, let the fucking kids
Speaker 1: figure out what their limits are because they're going to
Speaker 1: go to college next year and get wasted. Anyway, I
Speaker 1: got way too wasted in college because I drank a little.
Speaker 1: I did, but I wasn't. I didn't have I don't know,
Speaker 1: I didn't. I didn't have a lot of experience with alcohol.
Speaker 1: But then the second I got to college, I was like,
Speaker 1: we're going to just take shots every day? Well yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: American society is very like anti drank, anti drink, anti drink,
Speaker 1: and then when you turn one, they're like drink, drink, drinking,
Speaker 1: How you drinking? And no one's gonna think you're hot
Speaker 1: if you're not drinking. So it's just like it's a
Speaker 1: very it's a very mixed message, whereas in like European cultures,
Speaker 1: it's just like it's not this amazing cool thing. It's
Speaker 1: just always kind of around and it's always kind of okay. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they can drink early, like like I was gonna sat
Speaker 1: pretty young, very young. I'm curious what the like alcohol
Speaker 1: death rates are or that like, because they probably I
Speaker 1: would think they're I don't know. I would think that
Speaker 1: that makes more sense because a child or young adult
Speaker 1: can realize what their potential is and what is too
Speaker 1: much for them. I think everyone in Europe, and it's
Speaker 1: not a special like when I tried it in the
Speaker 1: seventies where they reduced a drinking ages sixteen and my
Speaker 1: mom was part of that. My parents were younger, it
Speaker 1: was eighteen something eighteen and then now she doesn't hardly
Speaker 1: drink anything at all. My mom doesn't drinks, and my
Speaker 1: parents are. They don't really care. She's super fun. When
Speaker 1: she's a little drunk, it's great. I was like, you
Speaker 1: should drink more, you're awful. Otherwise you're a bit sober. Mom,
Speaker 1: have a glass of wine, mad cunt. Does your mom
Speaker 1: know about all that stuff that happened to you? No,
Speaker 1: I don't talk to my mom. Oh you don't talk
Speaker 1: to at all? No? No, no, is that more compartmentalizing
Speaker 1: or no? That was we talk occasionally. And then when
Speaker 1: Trump the whole Trump and Hillary situation. Uh so sad. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she's a super Trump supporter. And I was posted something
Speaker 1: just facts, and I wouldn't write any sort of caption
Speaker 1: or anything that stated my opinion. I just posted something.
Speaker 1: I leave this right here and then anybody can do
Speaker 1: whatever they want with it. And uh and she wrote
Speaker 1: seventeen comments about how I'm a race a rapist because
Speaker 1: because Trump was accused of being of of being a
Speaker 1: rapist and something happened, and because of that, I in
Speaker 1: turn am a rapist. And I was like, what wait, wa, wait,
Speaker 1: your mom said that you're a rapist because I posted
Speaker 1: an anti Trump thing. Yes, well, I was posting the
Speaker 1: facts about the girl accusing Trump because he's still in
Speaker 1: the midst of that trial, which is very interesting. Yes
Speaker 1: it is. Mother. And and then so she posted seventeen comments.
Speaker 1: So I deleted them, and two days later she went back,
Speaker 1: found that post again and reposted and I got and
Speaker 1: it was worse. So I deleted them again and I
Speaker 1: text her, I said, please don't won't comment on my Facebook.
Speaker 1: I'd never comment on yours. I didn't realize that my
Speaker 1: mom could be a troll. And then and then sometimes
Speaker 1: the trolls are the ones who gave birth to us.
Speaker 1: She's the worst. And then she went into this long
Speaker 1: thing about how I'm a content a whore and on
Speaker 1: her Facebook, no texting, and then she's like and by
Speaker 1: the way, her hair is but fucking ugly also, and
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, wow, she got mental issues and
Speaker 1: super bipolar. Say it's not all these mysolar to shed that.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, she lithium. She was for a long time
Speaker 1: and that did not do well with her. That and
Speaker 1: then she lived in a car for a little bit
Speaker 1: when I was a kid, I didn't even realize it. Older. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but she she's not oh that's not she's not that.
Speaker 1: She gets romantic, she gets manic, but like not that
Speaker 1: that's all. Yeah, she's a real rough but once I mean, wow, yeah,
Speaker 1: I know all about that. I mean, did you know
Speaker 1: as a kid, like, yeah, something's wrong. Yes, okay, that's
Speaker 1: good because that's pretty intense. Yeah, it's pretty crazy. Does
Speaker 1: she have her normal? Does she ever get her on
Speaker 1: a normal day and and then she slips away from you?
Speaker 1: Or she's really fun for like four hours and then
Speaker 1: all of a sudden she's just like you can see
Speaker 1: it flip and you're like, oh, you must leave the house,
Speaker 1: leave right now. Yeah? Yeah, yeah, you have normal parents.
Speaker 1: I do. Yeah, lucky, I mean as normal as people
Speaker 1: can be. No one's really that normal, true, yeah, true,
Speaker 1: but I mean healthy for sure. I mean not like normal,
Speaker 1: but like your mom did, like cool ship with you
Speaker 1: guys about like their their parents. I mean, if anything,
Speaker 1: it would be like two there, But I don't. I
Speaker 1: would never blame anyone for that. That's why we're overachievers,
Speaker 1: both my brother and I. But is your is your
Speaker 1: was your dad in the picture? Yes, but he worked
Speaker 1: a lot at night, so he would like we'd be
Speaker 1: in school during the day when he was home, and
Speaker 1: then we'd come home and he wouldn't be there because
Speaker 1: he'd be working so on the weekend. And what's your
Speaker 1: relationship with your dad? Like now, super chill, My dad
Speaker 1: is probably the best human being on the planet. With
Speaker 1: your mom still he is. Wow, my parents are still
Speaker 1: together too, And sometimes I'm like, why, okay, Dad, you're
Speaker 1: all right. I want to make sure you're working on
Speaker 1: you and you're getting some needs met. You know, Well,
Speaker 1: he doesn't have hearing anymore, So there you go. That's
Speaker 1: why you can't fucking hear her. She can do whatever
Speaker 1: she had the anniversary. Wow, that's why they get along.
Speaker 1: He has zero hearing. He's basically why don't we text? Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Does he know what happened to you? Yes? Wow? Yeah?
Speaker 1: One time he broke my mom's hand like she was
Speaker 1: like trying to shut me down the stairs, and he
Speaker 1: grabbed her hand and crushed it. Because was this after
Speaker 1: he knew what happened to you? No? Oh you mean no?
Speaker 1: No mean what happened to you? Uh? Sex trafficking? No,
Speaker 1: they don't. That would kill my parents. I was going
Speaker 1: to say, the problem, Well, it's interesting because everybody deals
Speaker 1: in a unique way, and a lot of questions we've
Speaker 1: gotten posed were like do I tell my mom? Like
Speaker 1: I feel like if you did that weight is going
Speaker 1: to be on them for I mean, if I imagine
Speaker 1: your child having that happen to your child, like you're
Speaker 1: gonna fucking I would go I would try to kill
Speaker 1: every single person that took Yeah, yeah, yeah that happened.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, but it'd go crazy. Yeah, And that's gotta
Speaker 1: be frustrated because it's like, well, I mean, if you
Speaker 1: feel the need to tell people, it's like, well, then
Speaker 1: they gotta have they got to realize what happened, and
Speaker 1: then they're gonna bring it up and they're gonna get
Speaker 1: so affected by it. But it happened to me, and
Speaker 1: I don't want to relive it for them to feel better.
Speaker 1: And like, did you ever get shipped for dealing with
Speaker 1: it in any specific way that you dealt with it,
Speaker 1: like from people who were close to you? No, not really, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's good. It was because they knew you were and
Speaker 1: they like new. Yeah. One girl that was friends with
Speaker 1: me said that it was her own story. She was like,
Speaker 1: she lied and it was my story. And I was
Speaker 1: like okay. I was like, are you okay? And I
Speaker 1: was like more than one person. I was like, if
Speaker 1: you also have had a sex trafficking story, we couldn't.
Speaker 1: We're not competing the better sex trafficking story, Like multiple
Speaker 1: people can have it, we can go to therapy together, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I kind of like it was very
Speaker 1: She went on like an attack rampage, and I was like,
Speaker 1: you need to slow down, yeah, because now I'm trying
Speaker 1: to Now I don't want to like get to the
Speaker 1: point where I'm trying to outdo your sex trafficking story,
Speaker 1: Like let's just have our own and that's okay. I
Speaker 1: didn't want. I was like, I'm not going to deal
Speaker 1: with this because I got a ship to deal with. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: But that's when I was like, women are awful because
Speaker 1: then I started this whole like discovery thing and I
Speaker 1: was thinking about humanity as a whole. I was like,
Speaker 1: it's not that serious. Not everybody's that horrible, So wait,
Speaker 1: did you discover that women are awful? We talked about
Speaker 1: that tough a lot, but I mean, I think it's
Speaker 1: we we have been set up by society to be
Speaker 1: against each other. Though I think it's internalizing it and
Speaker 1: then we don't realize it and then we're just being
Speaker 1: cunts and then it's like I just doesn't feel right. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think. Uh. I think also, we have you know,
Speaker 1: I've talked about this on my old podcast, but we
Speaker 1: have a visceral drive that we are supposed to compete
Speaker 1: with each other for the best mate. It's it's always
Speaker 1: for a guy, or it's usually for a guy. I'm like,
Speaker 1: why can't, like the Beyonce song, why can't we be
Speaker 1: competitive in the field of in the career field, which
Speaker 1: can be healthy competition and like strive for us to
Speaker 1: do better and without having to knock each other down,
Speaker 1: but also wanting to be better than somebody else at
Speaker 1: a career or something to the point where it doesn't
Speaker 1: ruin your life. But like that could be healthy and
Speaker 1: then it likes to fire under you. But we can
Speaker 1: just coexist and yeah, and just I don't love competition.
Speaker 1: I think it's the only person I compete with is myself,
Speaker 1: and that competition the fiercest of all. So that's the
Speaker 1: greatest love of all. Well it's something, but yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I don't know, because I don't. I don't. I don't
Speaker 1: need someone else doing good to make me want to
Speaker 1: do good. I just need to find my my truest potential.
Speaker 1: And also we're all very different. So if you're going
Speaker 1: to do well and whatever you're doing, yeah, that's great.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do what well and what I'm doing, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's not. I like seeing people other people's successes make
Speaker 1: me like, yeah, that's like I I don't like I
Speaker 1: get excited for other people when they have successes, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, that makes me want to be fucking
Speaker 1: because there's enough to go around. That whole notion of like,
Speaker 1: well there's six sense tanks away from mine, Like it
Speaker 1: doesn't stop thinking that. Yeah, I've got I've worked with
Speaker 1: a lot of women and it is challenging. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: but where do you work with a lot of in training? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm a personal trainer. Okay, so they've got other female
Speaker 1: trainers there that are doing well. But then I'm I'm
Speaker 1: also the same as you where I'm just like, I've
Speaker 1: got comedy, I've got my show, I've got all this
Speaker 1: stuff going on. So I'm not concerned with that's just
Speaker 1: like that pays my rent. Yeah, so I don't really care.
Speaker 1: But the girls, they're always always telling me what to do.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I sent of this air. I think
Speaker 1: that I'm really not paying attention, which I probably not,
Speaker 1: but they're like, you really need to a helmet when
Speaker 1: you're riding your bike. I'm like, just worry about like
Speaker 1: in your day to day life. They can't really into
Speaker 1: my personal things. So I'm like, calm, Dawn, I got chicks.
Speaker 1: That's condescending and insulting, Like I understand the benefits of hell.
Speaker 1: I mean, you know you. That's like when if I
Speaker 1: smoke a cigarette outside, everyone's like, that's not healthy for you.
Speaker 1: I'm like, it's not. Thank you. Oh my god, I'm
Speaker 1: so glad he told me that. Thank you. Sir. People
Speaker 1: are so annoying to smokers. Honestly, I am not a smoker.
Speaker 1: I've never been a smoker, but I've always been a
Speaker 1: round smokers, and it's I would if I was a smoker,
Speaker 1: I couldn't even because I would have committed a murder
Speaker 1: by now, and I wouldn't be allowed to smoke because
Speaker 1: I'd be my prison. So but like, well you can smoke.
Speaker 1: Shut the funk up anyway. It sounds me every time
Speaker 1: a stranger tells me that, like it. It hasn't happened
Speaker 1: to me a lot, but like the maybe like three times,
Speaker 1: but every time, I'm like, what the funk are you
Speaker 1: trying to accomplish? I think that I saw you smoking
Speaker 1: that one night that we went out and then I
Speaker 1: went the birthday party. Yeah, I was like, oh, you're
Speaker 1: a smoker. And then I just kind of like I
Speaker 1: was like, what, Yes, sometimes you just don't know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like a little secret that you found out. I
Speaker 1: usually don't like, yeah I don't. I used to try
Speaker 1: to hide it, and now I'm like, yeah, whatever, I
Speaker 1: just don't because everybody was shaming, you know, because I
Speaker 1: was shaming myself. But I'm like, then I should stop
Speaker 1: doing it, but I'm not. You know, I still like
Speaker 1: smoking at night so and during the day, so I
Speaker 1: could do it. You shouldn't until you want to quit,
Speaker 1: because I feel like sometimes you would just be like, oh,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't really. I only smoke six cigarettes
Speaker 1: a week, and it was like, well then it grew
Speaker 1: and then you're a smoker and there's nothing okay. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And so we all do stuff that's not like the
Speaker 1: best for us. But I mean I think you can.
Speaker 1: I think you can pick your advice. Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1: Strange Yeah, because people are like, you shouldn't eat a
Speaker 1: fast food. I'm like, well, I'm going to continue to
Speaker 1: eat fast food, not eating it every day. And also
Speaker 1: even if I was, it's my body and I can
Speaker 1: trash if I want to, then yeah, because then I realized, like, oh,
Speaker 1: you should quit a bad habit because you want to
Speaker 1: quit the bad habit, not because somebody else will be
Speaker 1: happy if you quit. That's what I learned. You can't
Speaker 1: be like perfect in like the way that you live life.
Speaker 1: So I think it's like you just don't want to
Speaker 1: overdo it. And it's like I truly think everyone should
Speaker 1: just pick a vice, whatever it is. Advices canna be healthy?
Speaker 1: Do you what do you agree? Yeah? I mean mine
Speaker 1: probably not what marriage proposal? Marriage marriage? I do love
Speaker 1: a nice a narcotic right, yeah, I really do. I
Speaker 1: love a good one. Wait, what are not? This is
Speaker 1: so stupid, but like the yeah, but with schedule, like
Speaker 1: whichhould drugs fall under? Narcotics? Like I do coke and
Speaker 1: M D M A okay, okay, something harder math, I
Speaker 1: like my teeth. So wait, have you ever done my foul?
Speaker 1: I mean there's math in M D M A. Really
Speaker 1: I think. So that's a roller coaster, so it's got
Speaker 1: like the speed in it. And then yeah I did
Speaker 1: a quarter of them all at once and it was fun,
Speaker 1: super fun. Right yeah, So but how do you how
Speaker 1: do you make that advice that you can that it's
Speaker 1: not going to take over your your whole life. I
Speaker 1: only do it like once a month. Maybe you can
Speaker 1: you only do once a month. Yeah. I really haven't
Speaker 1: bought coke well, mostly because it gives you like a
Speaker 1: blow in your belly. Really, it made ship, and then
Speaker 1: after I Ship, I just was like, alright, I worked hard,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go to bed. That's exactly. You have a
Speaker 1: d D. Um I think I do. My mom has
Speaker 1: bad a d D because I think I do because
Speaker 1: it's such an upper So if you have a d D,
Speaker 1: it's like riddling, it makes you crash. Okay. I was
Speaker 1: very calm on it. It. It was very like if
Speaker 1: you did way more, it would have worked. Okay, because
Speaker 1: I know it was good because a friend who gave
Speaker 1: it to me was very rich. Should the last good
Speaker 1: stuff that I did, we had Charlie Sheen's dealer that
Speaker 1: gave us an eight ball that was like I did
Speaker 1: it and I was up for twenty hours and I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm never doing this again. It was really.
Speaker 1: I was like, I just want to go sleep, and
Speaker 1: I smoked all night. I was like mentals, Oh my god, yeah,
Speaker 1: well Ship, this is this conversation has led to so
Speaker 1: many places that I just didn't. I learned so many
Speaker 1: nooks and cranings about your personality and an experience. That's
Speaker 1: so fair. I feel like, Yeah, I feel like you
Speaker 1: fit a lot of extra years into the thirty five
Speaker 1: that you that more lived, and that's that's something to be,
Speaker 1: that's something you know you didn't. Life ain't boring. That
Speaker 1: to me is like the worst tragedy of them all.
Speaker 1: It's the lead a boring like that's like the saddest
Speaker 1: thing I could ever think of. I want the end
Speaker 1: to be a little boring ones. I feel like by
Speaker 1: that time you'll be like, all right, give me a roast.
Speaker 1: I know. I do want to buy like land for
Speaker 1: my dog. Don't have it for yourself, No, for the dog,
Speaker 1: because you wouldn't go run and frolic around the lamb,
Speaker 1: but your dog would. My dog would, yea, and I
Speaker 1: would call it back. I would love to have a
Speaker 1: farm with giant dogs. Yeah, So what's the future? You're
Speaker 1: just are you gonna get married again? Probably? I mean yeah,
Speaker 1: but are you seeing anybody now? No? I'm just sucking
Speaker 1: around nice. Yeah, I'm not really interested in a relationship.
Speaker 1: I got to what ship going on? So it's hard
Speaker 1: to date because men take a lot of attention. Have
Speaker 1: you found that? I feel like you've found a good balance.
Speaker 1: You guys have really found they take a lot of attention.
Speaker 1: They really do. I don't know what I mean not
Speaker 1: I haven't found that, but I mean maybe it's because
Speaker 1: I don't see it, Like maybe I don't. Maybe they
Speaker 1: do need a lot of attention for me, and I'm
Speaker 1: not noticing because I like being murdering. So yeah, I
Speaker 1: think you're already giving it. That's why you don't notice it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it doesn't like exhaust me or anything. If it has
Speaker 1: gotten to the point where it's exhaustibly before, I'm like,
Speaker 1: this is not fun for me. Bye, you just put
Speaker 1: your phone away and then you're like I'll do with
Speaker 1: this later. Well, where can we find you online? What's
Speaker 1: your pot with the podcast? All that stuff? Morrow Americ? Okay? Everything? Uh?
Speaker 1: And then my podcast is Happy Never After h pod
Speaker 1: on Twitter. I know it's so fun. I talked about
Speaker 1: all my divorces and marriages and we have people that
Speaker 1: have been divorced on awesome. That's hard. I know a
Speaker 1: little like what what's your whistle for that? I know
Speaker 1: it right? Well, thank you so much for sitting down
Speaker 1: with us today. Glad of things are on the up
Speaker 1: and up for you. And this has been guys, we
Speaker 1: Funck the anti slut podcast. We'll talk you next Friday.
Speaker 1: You had to get in my business, so I'm a
Speaker 1: show witches, pagans take then the wicken because because I
Speaker 1: don't know the difference, it's a wishing going to ever
Speaker 1: happy made mother. I can see you doing your words
Speaker 1: and bleeding and bleeding with negative meaning. You think I'm
Speaker 1: my trash, but my priestess. Looking at two way, you're
Speaker 1: looking like a sky. This prestus a batty princess. I'm
Speaker 1: about to put the boot on blast. Oh my yeah,
Speaker 1: I go gragic, petting away rabbit. I just baggage with
Speaker 1: your bitchcraft. Your man's basic a bone that I said.
Speaker 1: I am the mother the mad its, the groans like him.
Speaker 1: The sun to starts them on already ate long eight
Speaker 1: on my foot bloom. So fucking your thoughtless you're taking
Speaker 1: them from bitch. Bitch, bitch, bitch. I'm gonna keep telling
Speaker 1: you a bitch because the fun bitch bitch, bitch, bitch,
Speaker 1: you bitch, you booo, you bitch bitch bitch boo boo boo,
Speaker 1: bitch bitch, bitch, bitch you bitch you booo you bitch
Speaker 1: bitch bitch boo boo boo fruit bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch,
Speaker 1: bitch bitch bit cheese. Steady talking out the next step
Speaker 1: it's talking nothing Ready? Can you tell? I want to
Speaker 1: read this word about the petty energies? And if you
Speaker 1: ain't a fan of me, I know you ain't on bris,
Speaker 1: miss whitch, I ain't got time of your checkers, the
Speaker 1: huss in the session. I'm no ada listed, but bet
Speaker 1: I'm gonna like ten years al, which is thanks for
Speaker 1: listening to Guys we sucked. Support for Guys we Fucked
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Speaker 1: that therapy should be affordable, confidential, and convenient. Join up
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