Speaker 1: Welcome to Guys We Fucked. Guys We Guys we Book.
Speaker 1: I'm Christina, I'm Corren. We're sorry about last night the
Speaker 1: anti slut shaming podcast. I never stopped. Yo fucker's Welcome
Speaker 1: to another episode of Guys We Fuck. It's the anti
Speaker 1: slut shaming podcast. I'm Karn, I'm Christina. Hello. Oh man London.
Speaker 1: You were so cool. You were like York but with
Speaker 1: a funa I know, and all these kids. We had
Speaker 1: shows at the Soo Theater. They sold out in three days,
Speaker 1: which is why we didn't really talk about the gigs
Speaker 1: on the podcast very much because we got a lot
Speaker 1: of I didn't know you were in London. Yeah, with
Speaker 1: the fun, but oh, there's just there's great. It was amazing.
Speaker 1: It was wonderful. One of the one memorable moment I
Speaker 1: had was on the plane right back, which I knew
Speaker 1: you had some memorable unfortunate moments on the plane right back. Well,
Speaker 1: not on the plane right I just getting on getting
Speaker 1: to the plane. Yeah. I flew virgin at Lantic and
Speaker 1: on the way back, the flight attendants I love. They're
Speaker 1: wearing these red skirts and red button up like jackets,
Speaker 1: and they have these buns that are perfect, and I
Speaker 1: know the secret and anyone can have that perfect as spun.
Speaker 1: You go to h and M he give your something
Speaker 1: a sponge sponge. I did too, and I'm like this
Speaker 1: don't look right on me, but whenever anyway, UM, they're
Speaker 1: like gorgeous too. And so Stephen and I were sitting
Speaker 1: in the plane and then behind us in the middle
Speaker 1: of the flight on the way back, uh, this guy,
Speaker 1: the captain turned the seat belt sign on, and so
Speaker 1: there was two people that had already were already up
Speaker 1: in the aisle trying to go to the bathroom, and
Speaker 1: this guy two seats back gets up in his seat
Speaker 1: to go to the bathroom, and those flight attendant goes, sir, sir,
Speaker 1: the seat belts on is on. You can't and he goes,
Speaker 1: but day walking around, everyone's walking around. She goes, sir,
Speaker 1: you can't get up. The captain turned the seat belt
Speaker 1: light on, but day walking on, she goes, are you
Speaker 1: a child? And he just fucking shut the funk up
Speaker 1: and sat the funk down. And I was over my seat, going,
Speaker 1: she's my queen, that girl. But whoever you are, random
Speaker 1: Virgin Atlantic flight attendant, good go you. That was the
Speaker 1: most quit that's the quickest I've ever seen someone shut
Speaker 1: someone down like that. Well, British people seem a lot
Speaker 1: more reasonable. From the even the altercations that Tommy and
Speaker 1: I witnessed in the streets, they were they were very reasonable,
Speaker 1: Like there was no one was yelling no, even like
Speaker 1: there was like an incident with like a car going
Speaker 1: into like a bike, and it was very like the
Speaker 1: altercation happened, but it was very reasonable logical. I did
Speaker 1: witness an a logical one where a bunch of women
Speaker 1: were standing in front of the bus because they missed
Speaker 1: the stop and they're like, you missed the blast stop
Speaker 1: and I was like, well the bus missed the stop.
Speaker 1: I mean it did it did? They were If I
Speaker 1: was waiting in that fucking London rain, I'd be picked totally.
Speaker 1: It wasn't. Yeah, I don't know if I was ready,
Speaker 1: but yeah they were. It's always kind of radium, yeah,
Speaker 1: but the any but still the women are like no, no,
Speaker 1: no, no no, no, you ain't getting away with this, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, good for you, London women, good for you.
Speaker 1: Yeah it was. It was. It was a fun time.
Speaker 1: I I didn't I have drink tea every day since,
Speaker 1: like I can't get enough of their Tea is way
Speaker 1: better there though, well because they do lose I bought
Speaker 1: loose Leaf and I have like astrainer and everything and
Speaker 1: like it. You can have that, I mean, because Paula
Speaker 1: and I are very into tea to begin with. We
Speaker 1: go to like real tea services and stuff. Um, so
Speaker 1: that's really so. I've I've bought her the stuff, but
Speaker 1: now I just need to buy it for myself because
Speaker 1: I don't like coffee. So it's logical that I would
Speaker 1: get into tea. But now I feel like I have
Speaker 1: a better understanding of it and how to properly eat it.
Speaker 1: And tea capital the world. Yeah, I'm very very into that.
Speaker 1: I could get very used to that because te's great.
Speaker 1: Come see us live. Um Friday, February sevent Wendy Starling
Speaker 1: and I are hosting my birthday edition Glare Post. It's
Speaker 1: sold out advanced tickets, but tickets will be available at
Speaker 1: the door for twenty bucks cash starting at seven pm. Uh.
Speaker 1: There's just a few though, I think we'll only have
Speaker 1: like ten uh eighty two West Third Street Sinc. Bar
Speaker 1: in the West Village. Crim Fisher is going to be
Speaker 1: there and a lot of other people, but who care?
Speaker 1: You don't care about all the people. Jessica, Jessica, here's
Speaker 1: it and cipher sounds too. Yeah, super excited. Uh. And
Speaker 1: then on Wednesday, February two at eight pm at the
Speaker 1: Standing Room, it's the monthly edition of The Comedian Project,
Speaker 1: co hosted by myself and Katie Hannigan. Tickets are five
Speaker 1: dollars with the code sex. That's a small venue, so
Speaker 1: make sure to get tickets early. It's really fun and
Speaker 1: we don't tell jokes about sex stating a relationship, so
Speaker 1: if you're in a bad mood about one of those things,
Speaker 1: don't worry. Dallas, Texas, Wednesday, March eight, we're gonna be
Speaker 1: at the Improv Salt Lake City, Utah. I've always wanted
Speaker 1: to go to you. This is not the specific reason,
Speaker 1: but you know it'll be fine. On Thursday March ninth,
Speaker 1: well yet wise guys, Boston Boys, the Baston bast Am.
Speaker 1: Sorry about that. Thursday April we're gonna be at the Wilbur.
Speaker 1: There are very few tickets left and we really want
Speaker 1: to sell at the Wilbur, so can you buy them? Yeah?
Speaker 1: If we don't, I'm uneven coming. There's a an Arab
Speaker 1: Bread across the street. So you know, Chickapee, Massachusetts, that's
Speaker 1: where you're gonna end up if you don't get those
Speaker 1: tickets to Boston. Friday, April fourteenth, will be at the
Speaker 1: Hookie Oo. I hope they have really good at tiki
Speaker 1: drinks here. That's my better. Yeah, oh that would suck
Speaker 1: if they stuck. I'll probably I'm sure they're great. D C.
Speaker 1: We're sold out, so but thank you for buying this.
Speaker 1: We still not the fucking ninth dirty club. But I
Speaker 1: know you're I know it's like lame to brag about that,
Speaker 1: but I don't even care. That's so cool, No, I mean,
Speaker 1: that's all I want to say. I love so cool. Austin, Texas,
Speaker 1: April the twenty second. We're gonna be there for the
Speaker 1: Moon Tower Comedy Festival. Very exciting. Houston, Texas. You got Beyonce,
Speaker 1: but you also got on Sunday April Warehouse Live. We'll
Speaker 1: be there. I mean that's cool too. It's where it's
Speaker 1: whirst she's from. But you know, I'm just gonna do.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm gonna I want to drive by her
Speaker 1: like her stoop hell. I'll do more to the like
Speaker 1: Las ve gets Nevada Thursday, May eighteen through Saturday, we're
Speaker 1: gonna be doing the Crap Shoot Comedy Festival. And you
Speaker 1: guys like to ask his questions about these festivals, like,
Speaker 1: we don't know. We get an email from our Asian
Speaker 1: and they say they give us a date and a city,
Speaker 1: and we go do we want to be there? And
Speaker 1: we want do you want to want to be there
Speaker 1: on that day? And then we decide we don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know, guys, it's a great question. But for Austin, Texas,
Speaker 1: moon Tower passes are only available right now, but individual
Speaker 1: tickets will be available mid February, so that anything logically
Speaker 1: they try to sell you the more expensive ticket first
Speaker 1: come on, guys, naggins, and then if that doesn't work,
Speaker 1: they're like, oh, just kidding, here's a cheaper one because
Speaker 1: they'd rather and then some money than no money exactly,
Speaker 1: and then everyone's gonna, oh god damn it. But you know,
Speaker 1: this is how festivals work, and I'm learning after we
Speaker 1: do them. That's how how life works, alright, guys, So
Speaker 1: we just know we know probably less than you know
Speaker 1: about honestly, but you take all your mistakes and your
Speaker 1: mishaps and the trips and falls, and you'll learn from them.
Speaker 1: Speaking of and any time we do learn something after
Speaker 1: we trip and fall, we go on social media tweet
Speaker 1: about about it. So are you following us? No? Because
Speaker 1: you know, many people listen every episode, way more than
Speaker 1: who follow us. My manager was like, you're your social
Speaker 1: media presence is just very unequal to the amount of people.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm sorry, Well, because we used to talk
Speaker 1: about it, and then we talked how to talk other things. Yeah,
Speaker 1: can you my handle? Let? We haven't said this in
Speaker 1: a while. Christina hutch on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter and
Speaker 1: Karen's yours is mind's philanthropy gallon everything. I chose a
Speaker 1: word that you can fucking google since no one can
Speaker 1: spell my god damn name. So it's the word philanthropy
Speaker 1: than the word gal. Can you handle at her and say, Hi, Connie,
Speaker 1: how are you really can't handle that? Just don't follow me?
Speaker 1: That's what I would ask, And then sorry about last
Speaker 1: night is our comedy? Do some people get confused? Like
Speaker 1: Bennett it only it's the worth and the name starry.
Speaker 1: Last Night is our comedy kind of like you know,
Speaker 1: like broad City is a comedy deal. That's pretty cool.
Speaker 1: And uh yeah, so our s r y about last
Speaker 1: n y T is our Twitter handle and sorry about
Speaker 1: last night on Instagram and Facebook. Um though for us
Speaker 1: of the Shorty Awards, um yeah, the Shorty Awards are
Speaker 1: the most prestigious awards in social media because I feel
Speaker 1: like I got nothing and like there's very few things
Speaker 1: that I care about as far as but this is
Speaker 1: I don't winning. It's just seems really good and it
Speaker 1: seems like a good look. It seems like an excuse
Speaker 1: as a stand up comedian who always has to wear
Speaker 1: fucking jeans to wear a nice dress. It seems like
Speaker 1: something you can bring up in a meeting. Maybe people
Speaker 1: bring it up to you right exactly. You can make
Speaker 1: a speech about it, will can maybe say some curses
Speaker 1: in public. It's gonna be a good time all around.
Speaker 1: And I've never been on a red carpet. Yeah you
Speaker 1: don't have to leave. I have, but I was like
Speaker 1: walking people more important than that was my my job
Speaker 1: that I just almost rather do that my first experience.
Speaker 1: I don't like lead and a clumsinky down while other
Speaker 1: people just were just like get out of the way.
Speaker 1: Other way was this, Hey, fatty, get the funk out
Speaker 1: of my face. What the funk are you wearing? You
Speaker 1: were a handler? Right? Well yeah, because I mean my
Speaker 1: boss didn't want to do that. He was like, he
Speaker 1: was like, you can go and be ignored. If any
Speaker 1: celebrities are listening to this first, let me know so
Speaker 1: I could go to my ego and also all handily
Speaker 1: all I want to walk a celebrity down the red carpet. Christina,
Speaker 1: you're not your manager, is right? You're not thinking the
Speaker 1: right way you are. The celebrity can't be handling people.
Speaker 1: What are you doing? I handle you, that's right, I do. Um,
Speaker 1: if you have a band and it doesn't suck, or
Speaker 1: one of your friends as a band that doesn't suck, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean yeah. Um all the music we uh that
Speaker 1: it's featured on the podcast is uh from listeners, which
Speaker 1: is really fucking cool. That's really cool of us. Or
Speaker 1: we just had to do it legally. Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1: We really wanted to add money, so we're like, because
Speaker 1: I have to maintain the rights all these funcket songs,
Speaker 1: but that I wastly surprised about how talented these people are. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's really cool. Um. The guy I fucked Stephen. Uh
Speaker 1: he picks the music and uh yeah send him email
Speaker 1: him streaming links to g WF podcast music at gmail
Speaker 1: dot com. Do it um, speaking of doing it, Yes,
Speaker 1: the last time I did it it was on a
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Speaker 1: Go fund someone tonight. My favorite part of that was
Speaker 1: that you also did an add for Starbucks within ship. Well,
Speaker 1: wasn't a competing company, so at a school, I did
Speaker 1: that a lot. I'm like Uberlin, Uberlin, your uber account,
Speaker 1: don't worry. I just I just edited it out when
Speaker 1: I uploaded the app because they're not gonna listen to
Speaker 1: the podcast. I know they're not. And even if they
Speaker 1: do and they hear that whatever, I mean, I should
Speaker 1: get credit for being as savvy as I am. Come,
Speaker 1: oh do we like and they don't need to hear this?
Speaker 1: And uploads? Yeah, I mean, I just really edited around
Speaker 1: a lot of that stuff. We say. So good for
Speaker 1: us truth and media. Aren't they mad? Someone knows how
Speaker 1: to use final cup pro Oh ship, I'll use my
Speaker 1: movie fun y'all movies Gil I don't know. I have
Speaker 1: no idea how to use that movies great, it's kind
Speaker 1: of someone final Cup ten. It's like too simple. I
Speaker 1: was like, I need more buttons and more complications, and
Speaker 1: then I'll feel like why, Yeah, I can't use these
Speaker 1: new final cuts either. I need the old complicated version. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the only way I know how to do it. Um, alright,
Speaker 1: So Valentine's Day is coming up? Is no no, And
Speaker 1: I know you guys are getting your fucking wine bottles ready,
Speaker 1: your ways day you your Bridget Jones is dire any
Speaker 1: green and xanex, get a fucking hold of yourself. Okay,
Speaker 1: just that's all I'm You know, every every Valentine's Day
Speaker 1: we like to give this message. No one likes the
Speaker 1: said bitch on Valentine's Day. Yeah, just it's fine to
Speaker 1: you know, feel bad or whatever, But on this day
Speaker 1: in particular, I would just ask that you just keep
Speaker 1: it together, your curiously girl or boy, love yourself. Men
Speaker 1: are not encouraged to love themselves enough. Fucking love yourself,
Speaker 1: love your dick jizz all over your your coffee table,
Speaker 1: and then clean it up. But if you ever myself
Speaker 1: do that, But like, just come on, Valentine's yourself is
Speaker 1: the only day of the year where I am truly
Speaker 1: I love it, embarrassed to be human because of the
Speaker 1: way people fucking act. Oh what's an example of the worst?
Speaker 1: Just the things I see on social media? Everyone being
Speaker 1: sad and crying. Don't be a savage, be a bad self,
Speaker 1: yourself eating ice cream, get it together. Doing ice cream
Speaker 1: is great. You don't even take a picture of it.
Speaker 1: Just enjoy it. Then masturbate. We can do all these things.
Speaker 1: What And also, just so you know, every time I'm
Speaker 1: in a relationship, it's always the worst Valentine's Day because
Speaker 1: he set very high expectations and they're never met because
Speaker 1: I'm a person with impossible standards. Also, I hate to
Speaker 1: break it too, you guys. A little spoiler alert, but
Speaker 1: Valentine's name was barely creative for like card companies to
Speaker 1: be like always sell cards at the record deed. And
Speaker 1: then and then everybody just kind of fucking fell for it.
Speaker 1: And now everyone whos single feels like a fucking loser
Speaker 1: when they're alone on Valentine's Day, and it's like you
Speaker 1: else got's to do that? Go out with your friends there,
Speaker 1: spend time with yourself. Well, also, if it's all about show,
Speaker 1: if you're still in school, you can send your you
Speaker 1: know those things that that the the they bring to
Speaker 1: your homeroom, like some club will be like selling little roses,
Speaker 1: selling to yourself. No one's checking. Make up a name.
Speaker 1: You should buy Valentine's it gives take a picture of
Speaker 1: them and be like, oh my god, I love my
Speaker 1: boyfriend and then just like, don't say anything like your
Speaker 1: best friend of like wait, what what? My friend Robin
Speaker 1: and I in high school every Valentine's Day would buy
Speaker 1: each other extravacking gifts, give each other each other's locker combos,
Speaker 1: stuff the presence in the locker, and then so when
Speaker 1: we went we would be like, oh man, who what
Speaker 1: secret admire left me this? Like we created this hilarious shot.
Speaker 1: Because it's all about presentation, guys. And if you haven't
Speaker 1: learned that, I was gonna say love, but it's about
Speaker 1: smoking mirrors. It's about making people think that you're more
Speaker 1: love than you are, curating your life so it's better
Speaker 1: than everyone creates. I was Instagram before Instagram was even Instagram. Okay,
Speaker 1: that wouldn't be the name of your special I was
Speaker 1: very describes you a lot and changing, but making people
Speaker 1: think that I was having secret admirer someone I've never
Speaker 1: once had a secret admirer. Oh, I mean I've had
Speaker 1: lots of stalkers. If we're gonna, I haven't had one
Speaker 1: of that, then I guess it's good. But you're too welcoming.
Speaker 1: I don't know. You can only have because I don't hate.
Speaker 1: You can only have a stalker if you don't want
Speaker 1: people liking you. Like if you that makes me feel better.
Speaker 1: So you're too You're too welcoming to have a damn
Speaker 1: because you would just be like, oh, this is a
Speaker 1: new friend hashtag glass that's true. How you my friend? God? God,
Speaker 1: damn it. I was hoping would Speaking of holidays, someone
Speaker 1: has a birthday coming. It's my twenty ninth birthday. I'm
Speaker 1: February nineteen. Well it's twenty nine. I'm excited. Okay, I'm
Speaker 1: we're having a I'm having a party the day before, right,
Speaker 1: you're coming, right coming? I turned on a spot Christina, whoa,
Speaker 1: I know, Wow, look at me. That's that's my present.
Speaker 1: Thank you. You don't have to give me anything. That's
Speaker 1: that's an honor. No, I mean I already know what
Speaker 1: I'm getting you. But yeah, but uh, you know, And
Speaker 1: I was kind of planning on asking like, hey, you
Speaker 1: can you donate because sometimes on our birthdays that people
Speaker 1: send us like gift cards like for Chipotle or Visa
Speaker 1: give and that's really nice. But this year I was wondering, um,
Speaker 1: if you could donate to a And I think I'll
Speaker 1: have the link up on the description of this podcast
Speaker 1: like on Friday when it comes out. If I don't,
Speaker 1: I'll put it up as soon as and I'll tweet it.
Speaker 1: But I have a very dear family friend and his
Speaker 1: name is Fred and I love him very much. And
Speaker 1: he has leukemia and he is a karate champion. He's
Speaker 1: the he's the funnest person I've ever met in my life.
Speaker 1: He's sixty five. He's so cool and he he is
Speaker 1: the happiest, wonderful person. And um, and I'm really bummed
Speaker 1: about this news. Um the cure. It's a cure thing
Speaker 1: that can The odds of him being cured of it
Speaker 1: are high, which is super exciting. But he was telling
Speaker 1: me how, uh he has to take. The pills are
Speaker 1: like twenty dollars a pill that he has to take,
Speaker 1: and it's he has to take twenty pills of fucking
Speaker 1: your ten pills a day, and his medical expenses. He
Speaker 1: has insurance and it covers half, but he's still he
Speaker 1: has upwards of like thirty a month out of pocket
Speaker 1: that he has to spend to fucking get better, and uh,
Speaker 1: and it's really putting a financial burden on him. So
Speaker 1: if you have the ability to donate a dollar five
Speaker 1: dollars a hundred thousand dollars, well you shouldn't. You should
Speaker 1: invest that. But but yeah, I was wondering if you
Speaker 1: wouldn't mind donating to my friend Fred's go fund me
Speaker 1: um to help go towards his h paying for his
Speaker 1: lucimia treatment. I think that would be that would make
Speaker 1: me happy. And if you can't donate, or you don't,
Speaker 1: if you're like fuck, you know, that's fine, But if
Speaker 1: you can, I would really appreciate it. Happy birthday to
Speaker 1: me twenty nine rules hopefully really making a prediction. There's
Speaker 1: any you know, there's nothing wrong with it. It's just
Speaker 1: like they're you know, I like getting older though no, no,
Speaker 1: I did too, But thirties the gold mine that you're
Speaker 1: gonna hit is just like I should just be thirty. Well, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's true. But for the party, because it's a one
Speaker 1: day year, I get drunk, like wasted, So I'm super
Speaker 1: excited about that. But I'm gonna like tit it up.
Speaker 1: T's gonna be out. Was I running a fancy as venue?
Speaker 1: You promised this before, but I really got to hold
Speaker 1: you too at this time. Yeah, it's probably like, look
Speaker 1: a little bit of my left. We don't want like
Speaker 1: a terror read or anything where we don't want a
Speaker 1: full boot not though. Well, although I would appreciate very
Speaker 1: much if you did a little little Kim just oh
Speaker 1: ship in one out yo. That's a bold move, it move,
Speaker 1: We'll see. That's one way to make twenty nine ott interesting.
Speaker 1: Challenge accepted if you show up that I mean, I
Speaker 1: don't think it would be. I'm stubborn and it would
Speaker 1: be worth it for just that you can just get
Speaker 1: like you could probably just get like the little Kim
Speaker 1: outfit like I'm sure someone's made it on Etsy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but like that, I'm gonna be assimilating. I'll just get
Speaker 1: my own outfit. I'll just make one that's weirdly, I
Speaker 1: don't think if you mean appropriating, appropriating culture, that is
Speaker 1: the word. I was looking for But is Little Kim
Speaker 1: now appropriating culture? But then would you would be appropriating?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, the matrix is real appropriating white white culture.
Speaker 1: So it's fine that that we're in. You know what,
Speaker 1: I might come with a pasty Okay, that's so I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say or two, but that's tuber that's tuber lusque,
Speaker 1: and you know what, no one needs that. Well that's
Speaker 1: just weird anyway. Yeah, one tity out? All right? That
Speaker 1: we who are you trying to? Yeah? One tity out
Speaker 1: is like fashion experiment to tity's out is like someone
Speaker 1: didn't get enough attention to what lad are you trying
Speaker 1: to climb? Girl? Um? Alright, So speaking of racial matters,
Speaker 1: uh no, we're so excited to have this guest on
Speaker 1: recommended by the one and only YO, Mike Brown. Mike
Speaker 1: Brown my source for all black nets. Mike is the ship.
Speaker 1: It has a lot of patience with us white girls.
Speaker 1: I was like, I was like, Mike, just sucking. How
Speaker 1: do I be less um ignorant? And he said, I
Speaker 1: have some sources for you, and one of the sources
Speaker 1: so happy to meet this woman, and I actually might
Speaker 1: start listening to a podcast really excited, which is a
Speaker 1: big almost as big as you're not taking a spot, right,
Speaker 1: I mean, this is just I'm historical. Uh. She's a writer,
Speaker 1: she's a pop culture commentator, and she's co host of
Speaker 1: the very popular podcast The Read. Please give a warm
Speaker 1: welcome to our guest, Christal. It's one of the it's
Speaker 1: what I'm dreaming a little bit. I'm gonna Chaus tell
Speaker 1: he best day in the eye, tell me about time.
Speaker 1: It's it's what I'm dreaming little bit I'm saying saying,
Speaker 1: my lind I'm good. I'm feeling that a little right,
Speaker 1: But I'm good. That's okay. I don't it's so funny.
Speaker 1: People get so nervous to do this podcast and I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't know why. It's like it makes me question
Speaker 1: why it was so easy for us to do it.
Speaker 1: I know, is there a probably like maybe we should
Speaker 1: stop talking, but do your a comedian? But you do
Speaker 1: stand up as well well. I definitely don't call myself
Speaker 1: a comedian because it's like, honestly, it was so scary.
Speaker 1: I know, I know, I think BuzzFeed did that and
Speaker 1: I was like, but I'm like, oh no, that word
Speaker 1: is like terrifying to me. But I've been invited to
Speaker 1: do stand up a few times and I'm always like,
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't really I would get up there.
Speaker 1: My nerves are so bad. I mean, the first so
Speaker 1: many times I've done stand up, I right before going
Speaker 1: on stage, like I'm gonna shot my pants. That would
Speaker 1: find that would be me. I went through UCB, I
Speaker 1: went like UCB one, oh yeah yeah, and that you
Speaker 1: know that final show that I wanted to name ship Bricks.
Speaker 1: That whole day, I didn't even tell anybody. I told
Speaker 1: no friends on no. I know what I didn't tell
Speaker 1: invite all your friends, yeah, like, no, no one. It
Speaker 1: was like three months before I told anybody that I
Speaker 1: even went. Those used to make me really nervous, to
Speaker 1: more nervous than stand up, because I guess stand up
Speaker 1: like you're only relying on yourself, and I trust me,
Speaker 1: but I don't trust the other people in the group.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I know what I'm doing, but I don't
Speaker 1: know what you're gonna do, especially the entry level where
Speaker 1: anybody can just come in and be a part of
Speaker 1: any motherfucker off the street. Quarter Bucks are in New
Speaker 1: York City because it's like starts as someone's just humping
Speaker 1: your leg and you're like this, there's no way out
Speaker 1: of that. Yes, I on this. I talked too much,
Speaker 1: so I like, take over my god, damn it. And
Speaker 1: in the middle I realized that, like, I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: go sit over here. Yeah, that's why the best groups
Speaker 1: are always people who have known each other forever and
Speaker 1: they have like all that great chemistry and everything. It's
Speaker 1: just so awkward to try to get the timing and
Speaker 1: everything right and improv with people you don't know. So
Speaker 1: I don't want anyone I knew. Seeing each tried to
Speaker 1: do did go well. I thought it was awful, But
Speaker 1: I tend to think everything is like not great, so
Speaker 1: very extremely self critical. Yes have you always been? I
Speaker 1: think so? Yeah, do you think young age, Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: the same. I'm the same. I'm trying to get better.
Speaker 1: But I asked, I'm like, is it the way I
Speaker 1: was raised and my parents were like you were always
Speaker 1: I was like I was always like calm down, Christina,
Speaker 1: and you're like, no, I need to do better. I'm like, WHOA. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think it was a combination of that, and then
Speaker 1: you know, I like to claim it on being a vertical.
Speaker 1: Also because Beyonce is a virgo and she's very self critical,
Speaker 1: and that's why she's so great. She's the best, she's
Speaker 1: the best human. She's my Jesus, I know. I was like,
Speaker 1: you guys are going to bond over Beyonce hardcore, honestly everything.
Speaker 1: She's the best person to ever grace this planet. I
Speaker 1: don't disagree with you. And every time I've seen her
Speaker 1: in concert, the first fifteen minutes for me crying. She's
Speaker 1: right there, She's a perfect right there. And then the
Speaker 1: twins thing I was calling people thanked my life. I'll
Speaker 1: never forget where I was when I found out Beyonce
Speaker 1: was pregnant with twin. That Instagram post changed my life.
Speaker 1: I have been depressed since Donald Trump was inaugurated, like
Speaker 1: could barely leave the apartment, and that news, Honestly, it
Speaker 1: turned to my whole life round. It feels so much
Speaker 1: better now. So the world will get to yes, exactly,
Speaker 1: just it restored hope in me that died, so I'm
Speaker 1: not even exaggerating. Steven was my boyfriend. Used to work
Speaker 1: at Death Jam for for jay Z and he he
Speaker 1: recently was digging up a hard drive and he was like, oh,
Speaker 1: come look at these pictures I found that he took
Speaker 1: and it was like of jay Z and I think
Speaker 1: one of them had Beyonce and and I was like,
Speaker 1: you were in the same oh. I passed her in
Speaker 1: the hallway at s and Al once when jay Z
Speaker 1: was guess and I was in turning there and I
Speaker 1: had a panic attack and I called my mom. She's like,
Speaker 1: I don't I don't know. I don't even know she is.
Speaker 1: It's okay, you don't get it. I was on the
Speaker 1: carpet at the v m a's last year when she came,
Speaker 1: when she showed up with blue Ivy Yes, and someone
Speaker 1: someone came and got me and was like, you need
Speaker 1: to stand right here and don't move. I know, And
Speaker 1: I had my phone out and so I taped her.
Speaker 1: She was like literally seven inches in front of me
Speaker 1: and I just tape her walking past me. It was
Speaker 1: what do you love the most about fiance? I know,
Speaker 1: I know, I know what a question. I did not
Speaker 1: come prepare for this. Just go with what you feel
Speaker 1: in your heart. I think it's that despite the incredible fame,
Speaker 1: all of this success, the amazing talent, she still seems
Speaker 1: to be just like such a at the core A
Speaker 1: woman who cares about, you know, being a strong woman,
Speaker 1: being a great mother, doing things that she cares about,
Speaker 1: making art that she feels is important and expresses something
Speaker 1: important to the world, and embracing her identity as like
Speaker 1: a full black woman. And I just I feel like
Speaker 1: she does that more and more. You can really can't
Speaker 1: top this. And then, oh my god, especially when she
Speaker 1: fired her dad as her manager and did four and
Speaker 1: then self titled came out, and that, honestly, that just
Speaker 1: cemented her legendary status. That the way she's great. Look,
Speaker 1: I I want to be like that one day. Holy shit.
Speaker 1: I've never seen a woman or man so fucking graceful
Speaker 1: about how they could just conduct themselves and how they
Speaker 1: speak towards important issues. And she never gets paralyzed by
Speaker 1: her anger or you know what, in her frustration. And
Speaker 1: I'm like, you are Jesus, especially considering all the ship
Speaker 1: people say about her and her kids, like she is
Speaker 1: nice to people, like she has every right to be
Speaker 1: such a bit. Yes, and she smiled, her smiles the
Speaker 1: most beautiful thing. I love her. Yes, honestly, oh my god,
Speaker 1: everything about her person. We were talking before you got here,
Speaker 1: because if I was like she loves Beyonce and okay,
Speaker 1: I want to talk about it. She just came up naturally,
Speaker 1: I know that within the first like two minutes. But
Speaker 1: you know, I could feel the love that you have
Speaker 1: for Beyonce. No, I definitely go closer to you now.
Speaker 1: I feel like you get me. She had but she
Speaker 1: has this, uh she calls it black girl magic. I mean,
Speaker 1: I think Beyonce has that, and I think it's interesting
Speaker 1: because we're talking about one of the things we want
Speaker 1: to talk about, his white feminism and Beyonce concerts, like
Speaker 1: the lyrics and some of her latest ear latest album
Speaker 1: are not things that white girls should be just be
Speaker 1: like singing along too, and I like my negros and
Speaker 1: exactly exactly what I said, because I was at the
Speaker 1: concert and these white girls to my right were like
Speaker 1: you and I'm like, yeah, that's not he shouldn't be.
Speaker 1: It's just the respect that the respect that I think
Speaker 1: a white woman should have in that environment should be.
Speaker 1: I just don't don't say that that's not for you.
Speaker 1: And it's okay, it's not for you. Beyonce concerts I'm with.
Speaker 1: I saw Formation four times and wow, and I've definitely
Speaker 1: the one in Jersey yes, I did, Yes, I did.
Speaker 1: I had Serena Williams came. I was supposed to go,
Speaker 1: and I had a falling out with the girl I
Speaker 1: was supposed to go with and I couldn't talk to her.
Speaker 1: She she I couldn't and uh. And then when I
Speaker 1: found out Trendrick was there, I was like, oh, yeah, everybody, girl,
Speaker 1: you missed it. I had not even know. I know,
Speaker 1: I know I was, I saw all the photos. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but at that show, like some drunk white girls were
Speaker 1: like being real extra and like doing the thing that
Speaker 1: white girls do when they do Black Girl that they
Speaker 1: think are like friends with them that part. But yeah,
Speaker 1: but on a real like home girl type attitude and
Speaker 1: like oh hey girl, yeah Beyonce, I right, yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: And it's like formation like, oh girl, just don't done history.
Speaker 1: Yeah you can be white there, Yes, but also like
Speaker 1: realized like some of those lyrics that they're just not
Speaker 1: for you. And that's okay because her Black Girl magic
Speaker 1: is the most magnificent, magnificent thing I've ever It's just
Speaker 1: it's amazing. Yes, I appreciate it. Holy sh it's it's
Speaker 1: so real. And but I but I I've always wanted
Speaker 1: to talk to a black woman who's a big fan
Speaker 1: of hers about that, because I'm like, I'm pretty sure
Speaker 1: that's the way it should go. But I wanted to ask, well, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I when it comes to white people in concerts,
Speaker 1: I it's kind of like, you know, you you go
Speaker 1: in with a certain level of Okay, what can I
Speaker 1: tolerate out of y'all at this show? You already, especially
Speaker 1: if I get recognized. This's like, I want to be
Speaker 1: extremely careful about it because I don't want the people
Speaker 1: to then go back and be like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: it's such a batch, which I get that all the
Speaker 1: time anyway, but yeah, I just I don't say the
Speaker 1: N word, like ever under any circumstances. You know, be
Speaker 1: careful about anything that's obviously racial, like especially the lyrics
Speaker 1: in formation, Like, just be careful about what you say.
Speaker 1: But for the most part, the bar is set really
Speaker 1: low for white people, and like because then because then
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna be able to relax and enjoy myself,
Speaker 1: because I'm gonna be worried about all the like microaggressions
Speaker 1: going on around me. Yeah, I just want to have fun,
Speaker 1: Like and one of the other things I love about
Speaker 1: Beyonce concert, everyone is so fucking happy like that. I
Speaker 1: went to her arena for and everyone was just like
Speaker 1: we were bumping in like oh, sorry, no, it's okay,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Like everyone's just so fucking happy people who
Speaker 1: are normally like assholes to each other. Especially did you
Speaker 1: take the train? Oh no, I'm so sorry. You just
Speaker 1: said you didn't make it. I am so sorry, but
Speaker 1: I took the train back from the last one I
Speaker 1: went to. But DJ Kalin was there. Mom was there, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean that was cool, said, yeah, that was yeah.
Speaker 1: And even on the train going out, there was like
Speaker 1: people were just in a happy mood, like strangers talking
Speaker 1: to each other things that would never happen. And that's
Speaker 1: the power of that's the power of it is. I
Speaker 1: feel like Beyonce has done more for uh like race
Speaker 1: relations within women than anything that has happened in the
Speaker 1: past like decades. What is it? What is it about her? Well?
Speaker 1: I think Jesus, I don't know. I feel like Beyonce
Speaker 1: would would specify that she is not Jesus. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: guess Beyonce's Jesus weird. But if I say right, as
Speaker 1: a Christian, she would probably like Jesus Naughts and like over.
Speaker 1: I think it's the fact that she only recently got political.
Speaker 1: Beyonce was able to build a fan base, and she's
Speaker 1: been around like these for these white girls who are
Speaker 1: my age, she's been around since we were in middle school,
Speaker 1: high school. So you have been drunk singing Beyonce karaoke
Speaker 1: for a long time. Girl, you love Beyonce, you know
Speaker 1: she's been a part of your celebrations, going out to
Speaker 1: the club, all kinds of stuff. So now that she's
Speaker 1: like in your heart, kind of like how in Sync
Speaker 1: would have been if they if they never broke up
Speaker 1: or something. It's like, even though she's coming out with
Speaker 1: new music, it's the stuff you can identify with, and
Speaker 1: she's talking about things that you've never really hurt anybody
Speaker 1: talk about but for or never allowed a black woman
Speaker 1: to say to you before. For whatever reason, And maybe
Speaker 1: in some cases, like especially when you watch the Formation
Speaker 1: video as opposed to listening to the lyrics, maybe it
Speaker 1: makes you think about things that you would not have
Speaker 1: considered before. So I think it's I think it's the
Speaker 1: fact that people criticize her for only recently becoming political.
Speaker 1: But I don't think she would have had the impact
Speaker 1: if she was not already this major crossovery start, like
Speaker 1: when it comes to getting through to people with privilege, unfortunately,
Speaker 1: like they tend to only listen to one another and
Speaker 1: the second time makes them select few that they allowed
Speaker 1: to get that close. Right, Well, I mean especially I
Speaker 1: think Lady Gaga is also someone who's always political, and
Speaker 1: it's it's affected her career negatively almost like I feel
Speaker 1: like because she always it has become less popular. She
Speaker 1: also did a lot at once, and I think it
Speaker 1: was maybe too much because where do you go from?
Speaker 1: A meat drive came out? But that's why that's amazing,
Speaker 1: Like yeah, and Press Hilton, I mean just pushing her.
Speaker 1: I mean that's where I learned about her because press
Speaker 1: Hilton dot com was like the source for all your
Speaker 1: news information politics. Yeah, and he pushed her so hard
Speaker 1: and then she kind of roast the top really fast
Speaker 1: and then popped and everyone was really pissed that she
Speaker 1: were I'm sorry, half of people were really pissed that
Speaker 1: she wasn't political at the super Bowl and I was like, well, she,
Speaker 1: I mean wasn't when she I felt I felt that
Speaker 1: the last night saying like hey, let's all to get together,
Speaker 1: but she didn't really like I mean, I didn't say
Speaker 1: so it didn't matter, but like you know, she's Lady
Speaker 1: Gaga still sometimes wants to just have a good time.
Speaker 1: And then everyone just called her fat anyway, and I'm like, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I know, well because she didn't have like a six
Speaker 1: pack and she was dared to wear a middrift bearing shirt. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's annoying. So especially like when I was I did
Speaker 1: an entire season of Common Sense on MTV two last year,
Speaker 1: and the comments that people make if you happen to
Speaker 1: gain or lose it could be five or ten pounds,
Speaker 1: but like the obsession to hear have with what you
Speaker 1: look like is like I'm thinking, like I don't even
Speaker 1: think about my body as much as you do, Like
Speaker 1: why are you this obsessed? So I didn't even know
Speaker 1: people were criticizing Lady Goat after that, so it was
Speaker 1: a whole thing, and it's so sick because I was like, Wow,
Speaker 1: I've been in the entertainment business too long. Because when
Speaker 1: I saw her wearing that and when she bent over,
Speaker 1: like a little tiny piece of skin went over, and
Speaker 1: I was like, we're going to hear about like I knew.
Speaker 1: I thought she looked amazing. And even if like every
Speaker 1: time someone comes out in there and they're not like
Speaker 1: ripped so that it looks like you were you had
Speaker 1: sprayed on your body, people have something to say because
Speaker 1: you know Britney spears, people always have something to say
Speaker 1: about her. I'm like, guys, this is why everyone has
Speaker 1: a nating disorder. What are you doing where people are
Speaker 1: just weirdly obsessed with like the absolute wrong things. I wanted.
Speaker 1: Before the show, I was like, oh God, I hope
Speaker 1: Lady Gaga is gonna be like overtly political during this performance.
Speaker 1: And when it started off with this land as yearly
Speaker 1: and I was like, who is this for? Like are
Speaker 1: you singing this to like the fly Over Sad? It
Speaker 1: was a wink wink, It could be for anyone, right,
Speaker 1: I thought it right, like are you talking to all
Speaker 1: the queer kids, all the Muslim kids? And that was
Speaker 1: for the Muslim band. But I have no idea. I
Speaker 1: only did she comment on it. I mean, I think
Speaker 1: it was a perfect choice because you know, the main
Speaker 1: audience or a big portion of the audience for the
Speaker 1: NFL are no not maybe people that agree, So I think,
Speaker 1: you know, Lady Gaga is powerful. Is she more powerful
Speaker 1: than than the NFL and the Super Bowl? No, I
Speaker 1: don't think she is not even No, of course, not
Speaker 1: more proudful than Beyonce. But Beyonce, being a black woman,
Speaker 1: was going to make a bigger statement just off top
Speaker 1: then Lady Gaga would have done. I thought she deliberately
Speaker 1: did um born this way. I thought that that was
Speaker 1: like a very deliberate snub to President Trump and all
Speaker 1: the ship that he's been saying in these executive orders
Speaker 1: he's been signing. So although you know, she didn't just
Speaker 1: come right out and be like, impeach Trump, burned this
Speaker 1: mother n you know, like I would have wanted her to.
Speaker 1: Maybe I understand why she did not, and I don't
Speaker 1: that I don't falter her for not wanting to be
Speaker 1: like dragged by all these anonymous trolls on the end
Speaker 1: and have people say terrible things and all this other
Speaker 1: stuff like put in your message suddenly up, you know,
Speaker 1: put it in and then go on about like I
Speaker 1: wasn't mad at it. Yeah, no, I mean I'm like
Speaker 1: people just people are never everyone's never going to be happy.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to please everybody. So she just I'm like,
Speaker 1: what you want to do? You know, it's a big thing,
Speaker 1: even though your Lady Gaga doing the super Bowl halftime show,
Speaker 1: even for Lady Gaga is still a huge major the
Speaker 1: thing like when Beyonce did her super Bowl performance. That's
Speaker 1: why one of the things that one of the many
Speaker 1: millions of moments where she's just shown grace is the
Speaker 1: ship she got for that. I'm like, she fucking has
Speaker 1: done her whole fucking career and she wasn't saying ship
Speaker 1: and that that had to be hard. I feel like
Speaker 1: that I would think that would have to be hard.
Speaker 1: And then the statement I loved that performance and then
Speaker 1: everyone it's like people get so fucking uncomfortable, but at
Speaker 1: the same time, like, look at all the black people
Speaker 1: getting murdered in this country by by police officers. How
Speaker 1: the funk Like it just blows my mind that someone
Speaker 1: could be turned off by that. Yeah, well, people don't
Speaker 1: really want to confront like what is right in front
Speaker 1: of their faces. They would rather believe that, you know,
Speaker 1: every single unarmed black person did something to deserve being
Speaker 1: shot and killed. Like they don't want to think about it,
Speaker 1: so they don't. So when somebody like beyoncefe forces that
Speaker 1: in their faces, you know, that makes them very uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: I felt like Lady Gaga did a great job. She
Speaker 1: sounded amazing. I think she's incredibly talented. I'm not opposed
Speaker 1: to like new Lady Guy Got Music. She lost me
Speaker 1: somewhere along the way with the last album. Yeah, I don't,
Speaker 1: I don't. She got a little country I just you know,
Speaker 1: and I like country mus I'm from Oklahoma country music. Well,
Speaker 1: you know, I do want to before we get too
Speaker 1: deep into like stuff that's happening now, we want to
Speaker 1: tell us about you, like where you're so. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: grew up in Oklahoma and moved here four and a
Speaker 1: half years ago, so you're fairly yeah. I'm pretty new
Speaker 1: to New York from Oklahoma, from Oklahoma, from Oklahoma City
Speaker 1: to what was the move, well, believe it or not, really,
Speaker 1: I came to Jersey for her show at Revel like
Speaker 1: three or four months after she had Blue Ivy and
Speaker 1: I had been planning to move to Atlanta. That's a
Speaker 1: pretty lateral move when you're from Oklahoma. But during the show,
Speaker 1: and like the entire time I was in New York
Speaker 1: and Jersey and at the show, I just felt like
Speaker 1: Beyonce was telling me to move to New York instead,
Speaker 1: And so like three weeks before I was supposed to move,
Speaker 1: I canceled everything in Atlanta and packed up to New
Speaker 1: York instead. That is, I know I'm not We know
Speaker 1: you're not, but I thought you were working around. We
Speaker 1: hadn't started the way we did, but I know you're
Speaker 1: not working around. Well that's why I've said in the
Speaker 1: past Jesus thing like it's ha ha fun l l.
Speaker 1: She's not Jesus, but like she the way she inspires
Speaker 1: people to be better and the way she owns her sexuality,
Speaker 1: and it makes me feel sexier, like watching just fucking
Speaker 1: taking control of Oh god, that's right, yeah, everything, everything,
Speaker 1: that's right. Yeah. So yeah, So I moved here because
Speaker 1: Beyonce and um started working temp jobs, you know, just
Speaker 1: to give by, and the city really kicked my ass.
Speaker 1: You know. It was like probably everybody's story when you
Speaker 1: first move is like how much worse could life get? Oh?
Speaker 1: Let me show you. But so we're like we're in
Speaker 1: what was life like in Oklahoma? Though? Um? So we
Speaker 1: think if I'm thinking, just like you're the only black
Speaker 1: person in Oklahoma, I'm sure that's not true, not entirely,
Speaker 1: but it was like another one. Yeah, So Oklahoma is
Speaker 1: I'm not sure if you know geographical because most people
Speaker 1: honestly want I know where it. Okay, right on, it's
Speaker 1: extremely conservative, I said, I say this all the time,
Speaker 1: but it's the only state that had every county go
Speaker 1: to John McCain in that election against Barack Obama, Like
Speaker 1: it is that bad. So you know, there's a there's
Speaker 1: an active KKK presence and everything is really Republican, and yeah,
Speaker 1: have you seen the KKK? Yeah, I mean, well exist,
Speaker 1: but they're not always in their robes, but they definitely
Speaker 1: had like the KKK is around. You don't even know
Speaker 1: they wearing the room, right, but I wanted to if
Speaker 1: you if they're always wearing your robes, at least you know,
Speaker 1: like Okay, I'm gonna walk on this side of the street.
Speaker 1: But I worked in a lot of all white places
Speaker 1: where white people either kind of pretended that I wasn't
Speaker 1: really there, almost like they kind of couldn't see me,
Speaker 1: like you know, kind of like, oh, we can speak
Speaker 1: freely around her because she's not even really present. But
Speaker 1: I heard a lot of overtly racist things like what
Speaker 1: thing is mortant for people to know. Probably the one
Speaker 1: that made me feel like, okay, I have to get out.
Speaker 1: You know. At some point was shortly after President Obama
Speaker 1: was elected, and I was at this UM lunch meeting
Speaker 1: with a bunch of people who worked in the oil
Speaker 1: and gas industry, so very wealthy, very very invested in yes,
Speaker 1: just to give me some context, and they were saying, how,
Speaker 1: you know, they wanted to hurry up and and do
Speaker 1: whatever needs to be done, press members of the state
Speaker 1: legislator or whatever to get certain UM laws passed as
Speaker 1: far as oil production was concerned, because now that they've
Speaker 1: put that nigger in off, who knows what he'll do.
Speaker 1: And you know, President Obama is very much against you know,
Speaker 1: like fracking and stuff that the oil industry depends on
Speaker 1: in order to to keep themselves afloat. And he was
Speaker 1: against the Dakota Access Pipeline and all that things that
Speaker 1: they really wanted to be in place. And they knew
Speaker 1: when he was elected that he was going to try
Speaker 1: to limit, you know, basically their bottom line. He was
Speaker 1: going to take away their money, and so they were
Speaker 1: upset about it. And I heard things like that repeatedly
Speaker 1: while I was there. Yeah, people people, I mean, it's
Speaker 1: kind of like you. It's not like every day overt racism,
Speaker 1: Like people are just terrible to use like most of
Speaker 1: the time. Yeah right, there's a lot of that, and
Speaker 1: of the time another black person seems like over the top. Well,
Speaker 1: this is a situation where these people had total Like
Speaker 1: I was at a lunch meeting and I was not
Speaker 1: in any way they're equal, Like they could have immediately
Speaker 1: fired me for any reason or no reason, and I
Speaker 1: would have had absolutely no recourse, and so they could
Speaker 1: say whatever they wanted to And that was why eventually
Speaker 1: I started super deep story. Eventually I started bringing a
Speaker 1: tape recorder to work and in every private meeting I
Speaker 1: had it on, and I ended up having to use
Speaker 1: those tapes to defend myself because they would say the
Speaker 1: worst things in front of me. So I knew when
Speaker 1: I wasn't around, they were doing much worse. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I had to right, so growing up that I should
Speaker 1: not talk about. But yeah, after I left, I ended
Speaker 1: up having to use a lot of that evidence that
Speaker 1: I gathered in order to to clear some things up. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: so it was right, So so growing up in that
Speaker 1: sort of environment or not not growing up in that
Speaker 1: because I grew up in a very black household, black family,
Speaker 1: you know, like there's only not the only black people
Speaker 1: in Tulsa or anything like that. But why were your
Speaker 1: parents born in Tulsa or No, but they're born in Louisiana, Texas,
Speaker 1: which is basically different flavors of the same thing. But um,
Speaker 1: I was actually born in Louisiana and then we moved
Speaker 1: to Oklahoma, but we stayed in that general region almost
Speaker 1: all my life actually until I left, so they're all
Speaker 1: still there. Um. But the it was like the racism
Speaker 1: was the sort of thing where your parents warned you
Speaker 1: about it before you could really start to notice it
Speaker 1: that well, Like like I don't know if you watch Scandal,
Speaker 1: but there was there was a scene where Olivia's dad
Speaker 1: Eli is telling her like, what have I always told
Speaker 1: you? You You have to be twice as good to get
Speaker 1: half as far, and you have to be totally on
Speaker 1: your p's and q's. And I thought, holy sh it.
Speaker 1: You know, my dad started giving me that talk when
Speaker 1: I was in the sixth grade, like these people do
Speaker 1: not want you to succeed the fact that you're you know,
Speaker 1: in the same classes as their children. They don't like it,
Speaker 1: like they see you as either the exception or you
Speaker 1: shouldn't be here at all. And so you're gonna have
Speaker 1: to prove yourself. Damn. Yeah, that's you're Yeah, you're already
Speaker 1: up against so many things and your kids. But when
Speaker 1: you tell people you're from Oklahoma, they're like mm okay,
Speaker 1: Like no one asked why did you move? I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I get it. Yeah, it was in like now that
Speaker 1: I'm an adult and I look back at and I'm like, wow,
Speaker 1: that was really shitty. But as a kid, I felt
Speaker 1: like my life was pretty good. You know, I had
Speaker 1: a pretty happy childhood. There wasn't a lot of really bad,
Speaker 1: like racist moments in my life, but when they happened,
Speaker 1: they definitely made a big impact. So and how was
Speaker 1: your family unit? Like did they give you, uh, they
Speaker 1: give you talks about warning against racism? Did they give
Speaker 1: you like sex talks? The word it was something that
Speaker 1: was discussing my family? It was not. Yeah, no, So
Speaker 1: my parents are very conservative um as far as sex
Speaker 1: is concerned. And so it was basically like when when
Speaker 1: I was maybe thirteen or fourteen, they sat me down
Speaker 1: they were like listen, so this is what's going on
Speaker 1: with your body? And I'm sure you already have an
Speaker 1: idea about sex, but this is you know, they were uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: They did not want to use Was it like before
Speaker 1: after you got your first period? It was slightly before,
Speaker 1: like maybe a couple of months before, and so they
Speaker 1: were like, this is what's going on with the little
Speaker 1: boys in your class and the little girls, and if
Speaker 1: you have a baby, you are going to be out
Speaker 1: of look, so don't do it. Yeah, that was pretty
Speaker 1: much did they tell you? Like, I mean, well, I
Speaker 1: already knew that because my mom had all these Christian
Speaker 1: pamphlets and stuff that she would give me accurate it
Speaker 1: kind of okay, what is the Christian pamphlets? God? Do
Speaker 1: you know who Dr James Dobson is? No, it sounds familiar,
Speaker 1: but so he's not worth the google. But um, basically
Speaker 1: his fake church, you know, kind of like life organization
Speaker 1: center people, I don't know what, but they put out
Speaker 1: these like informational books and pamphlets and stuff like how
Speaker 1: to talk to your child about growing up and that's
Speaker 1: sort of so it's like menstruation from a Christian point
Speaker 1: of view and life. I really need to get my
Speaker 1: hands on me. That sounds worse than the worst period
Speaker 1: I've ever gone. It's kind of like, you know, once
Speaker 1: Eve bit the fruit, she was she was bleeding forever,
Speaker 1: cursed or whatever, and you young ladies will get this
Speaker 1: once a month. It's like, oh, so it's a curse. Well, so,
Speaker 1: so it's not like it's not like this is the
Speaker 1: story of why everything is wrong with you. It's kind
Speaker 1: of like this is mostly scientific, but then there's a
Speaker 1: heavy Christian slant to everything, like this is why it's
Speaker 1: very important that we not touch one another with these
Speaker 1: until we're married, like that sort of thing. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: I already I knew what was going on. I was
Speaker 1: reading a lot at that age. But when they actually
Speaker 1: sat down and had the conversation, it was even more
Speaker 1: awkward than I thought it would be. I know it
Speaker 1: was coming. I knew eventually they were going to have
Speaker 1: to say something. Yeah, my mom started and I was like,
Speaker 1: I already know about it, right, I was like, I
Speaker 1: know a lot. I know a lot. I knew a
Speaker 1: lot about minstuation emotionally painfully awkward. Yeah, but it was
Speaker 1: just I mean, and then we had the health class
Speaker 1: at school. I don't know if you guys have we
Speaker 1: had like a day where they separated the boys and
Speaker 1: girls and we got like a little trial of secret
Speaker 1: and a couple of pads. Yeah, I got pads. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean they were the biggest pads. You know, they
Speaker 1: were massive. I was like you would, I would be
Speaker 1: like higher on this. Yeah. If everybody knows falling from
Speaker 1: a roof and the you cannot wear luggings that day? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I know. It was those giant, thick and Dutch geopad
Speaker 1: And you see like the video or whatever, so I'm
Speaker 1: the birth video, the well, the this is what, this
Speaker 1: is what's happening to your body and you'll start to
Speaker 1: grow breasts and like the period video. And then teachers
Speaker 1: usually just as nervous as the students and they don't
Speaker 1: want I don't want to talk about the ship either.
Speaker 1: Thirteen year olds, you're like, well now I don't want
Speaker 1: to be here even more. What the funk? Like, I
Speaker 1: really don't make enough for this ship? Asked me about
Speaker 1: their bonus. No, because it's always the pe teacher that
Speaker 1: has to teach health. But like you think you're going
Speaker 1: to too pe like place. It was like a special assembly. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was. How were your first second where your first
Speaker 1: sexual experiences awkward? Were they comfortable? Um? Well, so I
Speaker 1: decided after partly because of like the whole if you
Speaker 1: have a baby, you are going to have to figure
Speaker 1: out your life on your own threat that they gave me,
Speaker 1: But then also because I was realized saying that I
Speaker 1: wasn't straight, that I was also a checked to girls,
Speaker 1: and I was terrified to tell my parents about that
Speaker 1: because they were so religious, and then had that been
Speaker 1: addressed in at your household anything about like if you're
Speaker 1: so what? So what happened? That wasn't fun? I know,
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm doing the opposite of what this
Speaker 1: show is supposed to do. Like I thought, like I'm
Speaker 1: stressing everybody out. What if your experiences if it was
Speaker 1: really stressful? So weird? Well it was like, um so,
Speaker 1: my senior year in high school, there was a rumor
Speaker 1: going around the school about me and another girl that
Speaker 1: we were gay, and it was true about me, but
Speaker 1: it wasn't true about her. And so in my yearbook
Speaker 1: she wrote, oh, from one lesbian to another, it's been
Speaker 1: a crazy year. And so my parents read my yearbook
Speaker 1: and they were like, Lesbie, and what is it that
Speaker 1: they were like furious, and so I stormed out. I
Speaker 1: was all mad and like seventeen, and it was this whole, big,
Speaker 1: dramatic thing. And then we did not talk about it
Speaker 1: again for years. So yeah, we just did not address
Speaker 1: my sexuality at all for years. And were you dating
Speaker 1: women during this time? And they just never met my parents.
Speaker 1: I never told them anything about it. Yeah, you kind
Speaker 1: of kept that area. We lived in separate parts of
Speaker 1: the state anyway. They were ninety miles apart, we were
Speaker 1: nine miles apart. So it was really easy for me
Speaker 1: to just not tell them about it. That's yeah. It
Speaker 1: was like how it had to be yea and had
Speaker 1: they ever? Are they cool now? Now? Oh god? Oh
Speaker 1: my mother? Now she's no, she's annoying because after the
Speaker 1: Supreme Court was like, okay, you know, gay marriage universal,
Speaker 1: I text her and and know and she text me
Speaker 1: back like unbelievable, a great day for America. I'm so happy,
Speaker 1: and I'm like when the fund did you get like right?
Speaker 1: And then she's like, oh, I don't know what you're
Speaker 1: talking about. I've always only wanted you to be happy, girl.
Speaker 1: Stop this, stop it. That is not that she's probably realized.
Speaker 1: Maybe she was embarrassed by being influenced over religion, and
Speaker 1: she realized, like yours, my daughter mellowed out. She's mellowed
Speaker 1: a lot over the past ten years or so. She's
Speaker 1: cool like my mother, not as super close. I love
Speaker 1: hearing stories about that about parents with when their kid
Speaker 1: is is bisexual, whatever, a sexual orientation that's not straight.
Speaker 1: How they how they go that arc from going from
Speaker 1: like total non acceptance to like embracing It's so it's
Speaker 1: so nice to hear. Well. I think she realized, like
Speaker 1: because at one point I told her, like, you're either
Speaker 1: going to respect me or I'm just not going to
Speaker 1: talk to you. That's amazing. So you decide, yeah, but
Speaker 1: I'm not going to keep doing that's awesome. And I
Speaker 1: think sometimes people are like okay with like they're like
Speaker 1: okay with the concept of like homosexuality, as long as
Speaker 1: it's not like affecting that. Yeah, it's another thing that
Speaker 1: and they're like, oh, yeah, it's great. And then you know,
Speaker 1: but then if your own kids says that, they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's less great. And there's a certain fear too. Do
Speaker 1: you think that was involved at all, Like a fear
Speaker 1: that your life is going to be more difficult. Um,
Speaker 1: maybe so, but I think it was mostly just an ignorance. Yeah,
Speaker 1: highly educated she has. She's been working for thirty six
Speaker 1: years in speech pathology. She's not you know, she's not
Speaker 1: a dumb woman. She was just looking it and now
Speaker 1: she isn't, So it is it's yeah, maybe it's like
Speaker 1: I'm like, there's a reason, like you're getting to open
Speaker 1: up her mind. No, now she's all open and accepting
Speaker 1: and and you know, everything's love and her diverse. Yeah.
Speaker 1: How is dating in New York compared to dating in Oklahoma?
Speaker 1: Can you believe dating in Oklahoma was much easier? I can't, actually, yeah,
Speaker 1: because in a city of like one million in the
Speaker 1: metro area of Oklahoma City, which is massive, there's like
Speaker 1: so few black people relative to that population, and then
Speaker 1: within the population like black lesbians or women who date
Speaker 1: other women like even smaller. So after a certain point,
Speaker 1: everybody I dated knew someone else that I used to date,
Speaker 1: because it's like the community is maybe a few hundred people.
Speaker 1: So do you know, do you ever listen to Dance
Speaker 1: Savages podcast every now and then? He said before like
Speaker 1: straight people are always weird about like territorial about like
Speaker 1: don't look at another or something. But he was like
Speaker 1: gay people, we didn't when I was growing up gay,
Speaker 1: we didn't have a choice, Like there were five gay people,
Speaker 1: so like we all fucked each other five, you know,
Speaker 1: not at the same time or even at the same time,
Speaker 1: but it's like you don't you kind of lose that,
Speaker 1: do you think that? That? For Definitely, when they're like
Speaker 1: three openly gay girls in the whole high school or whatever,
Speaker 1: you're going to end up dating each other. And and
Speaker 1: that just the pool grows as you get older. At
Speaker 1: least it did from me. And when I was living
Speaker 1: in Oklahoma City, it was like I was dating fairly
Speaker 1: frequently just because I felt like I knew where to
Speaker 1: go find the people that I wanted to date and
Speaker 1: they were there. Whereas in New York I got here
Speaker 1: and I'm like, there are so many people. I don't
Speaker 1: even know where to begin, right, Like, are there even
Speaker 1: lesbian bars? I was like, there's sorry, well, right, but
Speaker 1: I like, I was like, am I gonna fit in
Speaker 1: in a bar on the Lower east Side? Because usually
Speaker 1: when I go to the Lower east Side to go
Speaker 1: to a bar, I'm like I feel like the fish
Speaker 1: out of water here, like I feel like I do
Speaker 1: not really belong, but I think everyone feels like they
Speaker 1: don't belong, and it's just everyone like faking like they
Speaker 1: do belong. And that's the New York maybe. So. I mean,
Speaker 1: it doesn't help that I don't really talk to people
Speaker 1: unless they talk to me first, too. It's really fun
Speaker 1: creat it's really worked out for me. Whatever. Like Hearn's around,
Speaker 1: like it used to be like like group of friends
Speaker 1: and Krin would meet him and then she'd leave the
Speaker 1: bit does Krina like me? I'm like, no, she just
Speaker 1: doesn't want to Mealy, I also don't like yeah, and
Speaker 1: I knew that, but I was like, I'll say that
Speaker 1: that's you can let him know. I like bars and
Speaker 1: stand with the person that I came with and then
Speaker 1: just drink a more expensive drink. I guess I'm not
Speaker 1: really sure what the point is. That's just like the
Speaker 1: co host on my show kid Theory. People are always like,
Speaker 1: does Kidory hate me and I do something? I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: he just doesn't speak, which is true he doesn't, but
Speaker 1: then maybe a percent of the time he also does
Speaker 1: not like you and I And that's fine, right because
Speaker 1: it's still true that he just doesn't talk to anybody.
Speaker 1: So but yeah, I'm not really social, so it's kind
Speaker 1: of hard for me to like go out and meet people.
Speaker 1: And I don't like apps. I tried. I tried the
Speaker 1: app experience, but I was on Tender for two days
Speaker 1: and never once swiped in whatever direction is yes, I
Speaker 1: never not once, no one. I'm like, and I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't feel like I have like high standards or
Speaker 1: anything like that. But it was just like, what type
Speaker 1: of women? So that's the thing I'm not So I
Speaker 1: came out. I guess I came out again or I
Speaker 1: just kind of like realized that my sexuality is not
Speaker 1: exclusively lesbian. But I'm like, so every time I try
Speaker 1: to explain this, people are like, you're so weird. And
Speaker 1: that's why I have to say, like, my sexual orientation
Speaker 1: is a little complex, I think maybe to some people.
Speaker 1: But because one person is going to be like that's me,
Speaker 1: and there's gonna be like one other person in the
Speaker 1: world who is like me. So I am attracted to
Speaker 1: like masculine presenting people in a very traditionally masculine sense um,
Speaker 1: but the specific gender of those people is not super important,
Speaker 1: Like it doesn't have to be assists man or assist
Speaker 1: woman or anything like that, Like that's less important than
Speaker 1: than what I feel. Is like the opposite of my presentation,
Speaker 1: because I'm very attracted to masculinity in particular. So when
Speaker 1: once I realized that I started dating different people, I've
Speaker 1: been dating women exclusively for maybe ten eleven year or
Speaker 1: something like that, and then I started dating, um, a
Speaker 1: couple of guys just casually. Not really, how is that?
Speaker 1: Because you had only dated women up until that point,
Speaker 1: right right, right, So yeah, I'm curious about that. Women. Women, women, dude.
Speaker 1: So men are like stupid, but not not in like
Speaker 1: a horror men or dumb way, but in like a
Speaker 1: simple literally do not use logic to formulate their arguments.
Speaker 1: And it's like, how can I talk to you? Like
Speaker 1: I cannot have a reasonable rational conversation with you because
Speaker 1: you do not operate from a place of logic, Like
Speaker 1: all you're talking about is your feelings that I'm talking about,
Speaker 1: Like what is real? Like not to say your feelings
Speaker 1: aren't important, but you have to be so Like So
Speaker 1: an ex boyfriend of mine was upset that I was
Speaker 1: childing to Washington, d C. For a show because I
Speaker 1: have an X in Washington, d C. Most thing I've
Speaker 1: ever heard. D how are you talking about? And I'm like,
Speaker 1: are you really? Are you seriously upset right now because
Speaker 1: I'm going to DC to do a show that I've
Speaker 1: been booked for and then coming back Like you're upset though,
Speaker 1: because I'll be in d C and I have an
Speaker 1: excelus in DC, Like you're seriously We're gonna have to
Speaker 1: talk about your feelings behind this because they're irrational. Well,
Speaker 1: you have no tolerance for for jealousy, like rational jealousy,
Speaker 1: right exactly, Like this is this is so stupid, Like
Speaker 1: not to be mean, but like what are you talking about? Yeah,
Speaker 1: but like you either waste time beating around the bush
Speaker 1: to like get it out or you're direct about it
Speaker 1: and you cut to the chain. Would you rather me
Speaker 1: not work? Are you going to write me this check?
Speaker 1: I don't think so. So, like you're gonna have to
Speaker 1: get over this because it is completely it's just dumb.
Speaker 1: It's dumb. Yeah, yeah, stuff like that. So it was
Speaker 1: that's sort of transition. I never really had to argue
Speaker 1: with women about things like that. Yeah. So, like as
Speaker 1: far as as the interaction between the two of us,
Speaker 1: it was like a very it was very different, just
Speaker 1: just coexisting and so differently. And I know there's obviously
Speaker 1: so many types of men and so many types of women.
Speaker 1: There are men that are just just very simple minded
Speaker 1: in a way that I kind of it seems kind
Speaker 1: of nice, but but it can be infuriating, like dude
Speaker 1: deductive reasoning. But then I mean, just as much as
Speaker 1: there's so many kinds of women. So but but there
Speaker 1: is I do feel comfortable to say that generally just
Speaker 1: very different. It's like once you get them to start
Speaker 1: thinking about things, like, maybe before you jump straight into
Speaker 1: your feelings about this, like you're totally irrational feelings, maybe
Speaker 1: just think about why you feel that way, just please.
Speaker 1: And then second and then sexually, what was it like
Speaker 1: going from a vagina to a penis? Well, not that
Speaker 1: different since the technology exists for for to do a
Speaker 1: lot of things. Yeah, so I don't know if men
Speaker 1: think that, like they're organic penises are like some man changes,
Speaker 1: but frequently they are not. It's like I can get
Speaker 1: pretty much the same because I've had a couple of
Speaker 1: trans boyfriends who can outfunck you. Sorry if you if
Speaker 1: you thought that that was just like automatically not going
Speaker 1: to be the case. This isn't it's not literally a
Speaker 1: magic stick. You have to know what you're doing with this. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's sort of thing. Yeah, the whole emotion of the
Speaker 1: ocean versus the size of the wave. It's true. But
Speaker 1: I didn't spend a lot of time dating sis straight men.
Speaker 1: It was like, this is frustrating. This is like trying
Speaker 1: to find one who isn't homophobic, isn't a sexist? Isn't
Speaker 1: it like like who checks off all my boxes? Is
Speaker 1: like well not. So the thing is that doesn't have
Speaker 1: to be like presents as super masculine. But as a lesbian,
Speaker 1: I never dated other feminine lesbians. I was never attracted
Speaker 1: to other feminine presenting people. So even like mildly androgynous
Speaker 1: was like fine as far as like the scale of
Speaker 1: masculinity was concerned. But somebody who like spends hours on
Speaker 1: hair or does make up or heels, I just was not.
Speaker 1: There's something about an androgeneous, masculine presenting woman that is
Speaker 1: just is very sexy. I agree with you. It's so
Speaker 1: it's like their stareing like you feel it, like you're like,
Speaker 1: oh hot, Like I've I've flirted with women like that
Speaker 1: at bars before I'm like, what am I do? There's
Speaker 1: an attraction? Yeah, they're just yeah, they're mysteriously not yeah,
Speaker 1: not not. It just was yeah, so but feminine women
Speaker 1: that's what I was referring to, Like that was never
Speaker 1: it was just never my thing, right. So then when
Speaker 1: I realized my sexuality really isn't exclusively lesbian, I kind
Speaker 1: of it was like, okay, So then what I spent
Speaker 1: a lot of time thinking about it, Like I've spent
Speaker 1: from the time I moved to New York until maybe
Speaker 1: two or three years ago, I did not date or sorry, no,
Speaker 1: it was slightly longer than that. So I spent a
Speaker 1: couple of years not dating at all, just to try
Speaker 1: to figure out what I thought my sexuality was before
Speaker 1: I went back out there, just because I felt like,
Speaker 1: you know, I need to figure out this about myself
Speaker 1: and I don't really want to somebody else through the
Speaker 1: emotional roller coaster of like me figuring out my ship.
Speaker 1: That's nice. That's very responsible of you. I mean, you've
Speaker 1: always it seems like you know, but you seem like
Speaker 1: you make these decisions that are that you're setting healthy
Speaker 1: boundaries for yourself. And you're like, this is the way
Speaker 1: it is like with your mom. That's because I got
Speaker 1: the vidious relationships though, that's because I've been through right
Speaker 1: with women. Yeah, oh god, I feel like a shitty
Speaker 1: relationship with a woman is so much more horrifying than
Speaker 1: really bad. When me and my first girlfriend broke up,
Speaker 1: because we were together for like six and a half
Speaker 1: years with like very sporadic breaks. So around the time
Speaker 1: that we broke up, I thought she was cheating on me,
Speaker 1: and I drove to her apartment forty five minutes away.
Speaker 1: I broke in and she was not home like she
Speaker 1: said she would be, and I kept calling her cell phone.
Speaker 1: Did break up? No, I am a key fun that
Speaker 1: I got into her apartment, okay, And I kept calling her.
Speaker 1: I called her like maybe seventy times, and she never
Speaker 1: answered the phone. And so I just proceeded to destroy
Speaker 1: everything in her house, ship, everything except the photo of
Speaker 1: her dead mother. I left that alone You're kind and
Speaker 1: everything else I destroyed. But after I like, you hit
Speaker 1: it with a batter, waiting, Well, No, it was just
Speaker 1: it was just it was that pure rage you feel
Speaker 1: when it's like beat that type of jealousy. I've the
Speaker 1: most angry I've ever acted out was when I found
Speaker 1: out my boyfriend was cheating on me, and the girl
Speaker 1: came upstairs with me and we confronted then and I
Speaker 1: pushed him against the wall. And yeah, I was really
Speaker 1: I was another person because it was like we were
Speaker 1: just on the phone and You're like, Okay, I'm really tired,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go to bed. I'm like, it's I don't
Speaker 1: don't act. You think I'm a fucking And then I
Speaker 1: call you back thirty minutes later and you don't answer
Speaker 1: the phone and I'm calling you while I'm driving to
Speaker 1: your apartment. I called this person you knew so many times,
Speaker 1: and I knew that I knew you would not be
Speaker 1: home when I got there, and you weren't, and so
Speaker 1: I just sucked it all up, just like throwing it
Speaker 1: around close out. She came. She probably came home. She
Speaker 1: called me back maybe an hour after if it was
Speaker 1: like almost sunrise. I was there a couple of hours. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was there for a while. Wow. I like that
Speaker 1: story because it's that I think a lot of people
Speaker 1: think only like straight women do crazy stuff two men,
Speaker 1: So it's nice that it was like so after that
Speaker 1: relationship and because that was like, oh God, I'm so
Speaker 1: in love. I'll never be with anyone else. Like I
Speaker 1: was just like, I'm gonna marry you all this after
Speaker 1: that relationship in it, I was like, no one can
Speaker 1: ever hurt me like this again. That is true, and
Speaker 1: that's kind of nice because I've gone through I think
Speaker 1: we've all gone through the same the same thing, and
Speaker 1: it's nice. It's like freeing, you know. And it makes
Speaker 1: me sad because I'm like, I'll never be in that
Speaker 1: deep love again. You'll find it elsewhere. You'll find it
Speaker 1: because it's a different person, but it won't be that
Speaker 1: It's not the first heartbreak. Is it changed you? Like
Speaker 1: when you like you did not realize love could be
Speaker 1: that bad. Well, it's like when you learn the world
Speaker 1: isn't a good place, like that first heartbreak. I'm going
Speaker 1: into a deep depression for like a year and a
Speaker 1: half after that relationship ended. So I said a lot
Speaker 1: of time thinking about like what to do better in
Speaker 1: the future relationship. That's why this podcast. I do have
Speaker 1: one question, how what did she What were her first
Speaker 1: words upon entering her apartment and contacting you? Well, so
Speaker 1: I don't know what she thought once she wrapped in.
Speaker 1: But when she called me, she was like, babe, and
Speaker 1: I said, I don't want to hear it, and she said,
Speaker 1: I just want to say thank you for not touching
Speaker 1: the picture of my mom. Wow. I said, yeah, because
Speaker 1: you fucking know, when you walk in your house and
Speaker 1: everything is destroyed, us up the photo of your mother.
Speaker 1: You know what happened some statement. You know what happened,
Speaker 1: because I mean this was back in the days when
Speaker 1: like DVD having your own DVD player was like a thing.
Speaker 1: And I was like, now, fuck this, like this is shattered.
Speaker 1: I'll funk all your ship. I broke it all. I
Speaker 1: broke it all. So but then she's like, oh, I
Speaker 1: have this explanation. I was over at my cousin's house
Speaker 1: and we were smoking weed and then I fell asleep.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, you think she was this clum proves
Speaker 1: that she was doing something. She was something nice. I
Speaker 1: would have been like, you broke all my stuff and
Speaker 1: I was volunteering at us. Yeah, she wasn't. She wasn't like, oh, babe,
Speaker 1: I can't believe you fucking did this, you fucking crazy bitch.
Speaker 1: She was like trying to explain herself and like, you're
Speaker 1: fulish it. Yeah, you're foolish. I was feeding homeless disabled children.
Speaker 1: You were you lying? Yeah, I don't know where you were,
Speaker 1: who you were with, but you lied to me about it.
Speaker 1: So girls have women, Women are powerful beings. Women are
Speaker 1: have this magicness to them just off the bat, I think.
Speaker 1: But the the emotional venom that a woman has sex,
Speaker 1: she could use its dark. It's bad. I had to.
Speaker 1: I had to learn how to restrain it because there
Speaker 1: were a few times that I probably crossed the line
Speaker 1: with how awful. I mean, I guess technically was crossing
Speaker 1: the kind of feel like that wasn't justified, but I
Speaker 1: mostly feel like it was. Did she ever like send
Speaker 1: you like an invoice? He No, hell no, she was
Speaker 1: big for forgiven. She never meddle, you know. Damn. I
Speaker 1: mean we broke up shortly after that. But she has
Speaker 1: my name tattooed. Well, she hasn't covered it up. She's
Speaker 1: got mine. She got a tattoo. She didn't I didn't
Speaker 1: want her to, but she got it anyway. And to
Speaker 1: make me happy, she got my name tattooed within the tattoo,
Speaker 1: like that was gonna make me happy. And I was
Speaker 1: like it doesn't. This is number one and then I
Speaker 1: mean we broke up, so but I'm sure she's married
Speaker 1: now with kids and all that. So you didn't follow
Speaker 1: up on Facebook or anything. That's what Facebook's Facebook. So
Speaker 1: I haven't checked. It's been a while. She hit me
Speaker 1: up like six maybe six or eight months ago. You
Speaker 1: know how people do when they're like, oh, wow, so
Speaker 1: you're doings, congratsd that sort of thing. I'm so proud
Speaker 1: of you. She sent me one of those, and I'm like, oh, thanks.
Speaker 1: I kind of clicked through to her profile, but not really.
Speaker 1: She looks like it looks like a marriage, maybe a
Speaker 1: long term partnership, but she looks happy. So, you know,
Speaker 1: God bless I don't have I don't hold any ill
Speaker 1: will towards any and like xes anymore. But she knew
Speaker 1: she deserved like she had come in what No, I've
Speaker 1: don't wait worse things. I probably I was like, what friend?
Speaker 1: Because that one was already that's pretty one friend. She
Speaker 1: when we were called together, she uh, she took a
Speaker 1: bat to her to her boyfriend's car because he was
Speaker 1: at his house with the girl, and she her mom
Speaker 1: drove her down to the guy's house and he's like
Speaker 1: have at it, and she just fucking carry underwood the ship.
Speaker 1: It was like a brand new car too. We did
Speaker 1: that too in college. My friend Andrea, I hope she
Speaker 1: doesn't mind me saying that, but she was dating this
Speaker 1: guy and she had a similar situation where he wasn't
Speaker 1: answering the phone or whatever, and she was like, I'm
Speaker 1: going down there. He lived with his mother, and she's like,
Speaker 1: I'm going down there. I'm gonna see what the funk
Speaker 1: he's doing. We were like, well, bitch, let's ride up,
Speaker 1: so the four I want to calm out. So the
Speaker 1: four of us get in the car and we ride
Speaker 1: out to his mother's house and standing it's like eleven
Speaker 1: pm in some residential like a fucking could sect and
Speaker 1: we are outside, music on, brights on, honking, calling calm
Speaker 1: the funk outside. Brandon or whatever his name was, like yes,
Speaker 1: and the persons the mom was home. Yeah, Well, I'm
Speaker 1: not sure if his mother was hung because she never came.
Speaker 1: After like fifteen minutes, he finally came out and was like,
Speaker 1: what the fund is wrong with you? And then we
Speaker 1: left shortly there after, But it was like was he here? Maybe? Well,
Speaker 1: I'm sure he was, but maybe not that night. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was just like, maybe we're a little somebody else,
Speaker 1: Like maybe we should chill out because this is we did.
Speaker 1: We did a lot right now you guys like, are
Speaker 1: you still to this day pro property? Damn no no no,
Speaker 1: I had too much to lose Now I can be now,
Speaker 1: But back when I had nothing, I don't care. I
Speaker 1: don't care. Funck you, how dare you? One of my
Speaker 1: best friends, my first boyfriend, she know me. We drove
Speaker 1: to his parents doorstep and she just peed on his
Speaker 1: doorstep and that was it. But I harmless. And then
Speaker 1: his little sister was in the window down to the
Speaker 1: curtains and I was like, oh she was cool. Sorry
Speaker 1: that was for your brother. But that is pretty harmless,
Speaker 1: you know, Yeah, something that just makes you feel better
Speaker 1: with Chris, Oh, the guy that I slammed it. I
Speaker 1: found lived two floors above me in my apartment building.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I made this concoction out of
Speaker 1: old ship in my freezer that had been there for
Speaker 1: like five years for like people from my college kept
Speaker 1: moving in and out and I it was like salmon
Speaker 1: catchup mayonnaise. There was dogshit. My friend actually went out
Speaker 1: and got dogs and I mixed it with eggs, and
Speaker 1: I took his doormat and I put the mixture under
Speaker 1: his doormat and I pressed it down to a hard
Speaker 1: and smell and like that wasn't maature. But but you know,
Speaker 1: I for a while, I felt like, if you hurt
Speaker 1: my feelings, I deserve to hurt yours. Yeah, that's what.
Speaker 1: And I can't cheat on you because you're not kind
Speaker 1: of care so I want to hurt you in another way. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So that's that's what I have financial way, or that
Speaker 1: I watch DVDs anymore. I feel like that's a fair
Speaker 1: prices fair And I used to feel that way. I'm
Speaker 1: an adult now, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, No, I
Speaker 1: don't do those things. And now I'll just break up
Speaker 1: with to put out patients. Yeah. None, I'm not going
Speaker 1: to debate, Like, if I catch you cheating, it is
Speaker 1: instantly over. I just don't have the time. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: not going so well. The more the more, the more
Speaker 1: years you live and the more you date, the more
Speaker 1: you know what you will tolerate what you absolutely won't,
Speaker 1: and then you can kind of be more efficient with
Speaker 1: your time. Yeah. And my problem is that I love
Speaker 1: being alone too, I have no problem being by myself,
Speaker 1: like weed and alcohol and like, oh yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: even need those things myself, TV, like everything. I could
Speaker 1: just stay in bed all day. Sometimes I just stare
Speaker 1: at a wall for like a good hour, and it's
Speaker 1: nice because no one else is speaking, and that's just quiet.
Speaker 1: It sounds so nice, it does. I totally understand this.
Speaker 1: So it takes a lot for me to want to
Speaker 1: disrupt like the natural piece that I have in my life.
Speaker 1: So if you're like annoying or stressing me out, I
Speaker 1: just don't want to be bothered. You know you're gonna
Speaker 1: read those stories about like the oldest woman ever just
Speaker 1: does what was the secret? I was single? Every over
Speaker 1: a hundred credits that like men, no kids, no husband.
Speaker 1: Every time, I'm like, shit, everything there's married women statistically
Speaker 1: do live shorter lives, but then married men live longer
Speaker 1: because they have someone taking care of exactly whereas married
Speaker 1: women are stressed that because they're taking care of their
Speaker 1: kids plus their husband. Usually yeah, amount of stress. Like
Speaker 1: I looked into me. I have a boyfriend for like
Speaker 1: a year. I looked in the mirror tonight and I
Speaker 1: was like, you look your age for the first time
Speaker 1: in a long time, and it's not good. Like I
Speaker 1: have circles under my eyes because I can't argue about
Speaker 1: things anymore. I'm so tired. I'm not between of arguing.
Speaker 1: What are you like arguing about literally anything? As long
Speaker 1: as I know I'm right, I will argue with are
Speaker 1: you a good argue? Are like you open yourself being wrong?
Speaker 1: I am, But that's why I'm I selectively argue. I
Speaker 1: really try one that you're like, no, no, no. I
Speaker 1: only argue when I am like nine percent sure I'm correct.
Speaker 1: Literally any other time, I'll be like, we can debate this,
Speaker 1: we can talk about it. I'm open to googling if
Speaker 1: you've got some facts and figures, I would want to
Speaker 1: see them. But I will like outright argue anytime I
Speaker 1: know I'm right. Do you ever get too heated in
Speaker 1: an argument about politics, about racial, about gender? No, I'm
Speaker 1: dating someone now and I think they're Number one complaint
Speaker 1: about my arguing technique is that I will keep going
Speaker 1: long after I should let it go. It's five minutes
Speaker 1: of scignother thing. Because it's like, if you argue with
Speaker 1: me about something that like I know I'm right about, Like,
Speaker 1: don't argue with me about what here or what day
Speaker 1: Beyonce self title album coming out, Like, don't argue with that.
Speaker 1: I know that it's a point. So if you argue
Speaker 1: with me about it, I will say no. And I
Speaker 1: know it because of this, this, this and this like
Speaker 1: and and we can go back and forth to you,
Speaker 1: we can go back and forth arguing about this thing
Speaker 1: as long as you want. If I know, I'm so
Speaker 1: you'll keep you'll keep paying it. And it's really annoying.
Speaker 1: I go, that's the point that I would even want
Speaker 1: even I'm like, okay, shut up. Like but it's like,
Speaker 1: but dude, you're wrong, You're you're not correct. What what
Speaker 1: the funk are you? Why do you keep talking? Yeah exactly,
Speaker 1: I thought, Yeah, I know I'm a bit. I know
Speaker 1: that I cannot I'm not easy to date. But are
Speaker 1: you a bitch or you just you know what you
Speaker 1: want and you know yourself and just figured those are
Speaker 1: like yeah, I don't know, it's a bad thing that
Speaker 1: like that goes. I love the word bad society. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: as far as like oh yeah, because it's like like
Speaker 1: lots of straight men. I'll get comments on Instagram especially,
Speaker 1: and like I'm every bit of like a heinous bitch,
Speaker 1: racist bitch, evil bitch, man hating bitch, like in that context,
Speaker 1: but I just kind of use it like you can
Speaker 1: call me that. I really don't care because if that's
Speaker 1: how you feel about women who say how they feel
Speaker 1: about things, then I'll be more about you than it doesn't.
Speaker 1: I mean, I mean not to say that you're correct
Speaker 1: in that, but you saying that it's not going to
Speaker 1: hurt me the way you want it to. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you're not gonna give them that satisfaction and it's a
Speaker 1: self reflection of them and being a piece of well.
Speaker 1: I thought it was interesting because I was watching or
Speaker 1: listening on YouTube, so watch listening to you talk about
Speaker 1: and you were said, you're a self proclaimed cold hearted bitch,
Speaker 1: but you do it for survival, And I was like,
Speaker 1: I hear, I hear that because it's you know, it's
Speaker 1: just like, especially with social media, at a certain point,
Speaker 1: you get called something so many times you're like I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna shut down or like create this wall around
Speaker 1: myself because like, I know how I feel. I don't
Speaker 1: need feedback from all these other fucking people. Do you
Speaker 1: feel like becoming a cold hearted bitch has affected you
Speaker 1: negatively in any way. Um, I think it's just made
Speaker 1: it harder to get to know, like the real me.
Speaker 1: I feel like I've had to kind of separate other people,
Speaker 1: put up the wall even with yourself. Maybe well, I'm
Speaker 1: just like really careful about who I let see, like
Speaker 1: the completeness of me, Like the dumb, silly things I
Speaker 1: do are like the embarrassing things. That's like stuff that
Speaker 1: I would never want shared, you know, online, that sort
Speaker 1: of thing, intimate, intimate, emotional things about your personality. I
Speaker 1: think it's it's made me, it's made me harder to
Speaker 1: access in that way, but not impossible. It's just that
Speaker 1: my filth her for like bullshit and what I'll tolerate
Speaker 1: and all that. Like everything, I'm just on high alert
Speaker 1: all the time when it comes to like letting people
Speaker 1: and people have to trust and someone right knowing you,
Speaker 1: really truly knowing you. But I think I don't think
Speaker 1: that's a bad thing at all. I think that's it
Speaker 1: makes sense. It's it makes sense as a survival mechanism,
Speaker 1: but also makes sense because I mean, God, when you're
Speaker 1: vulnerable to everybody, it's like why it almost feels like
Speaker 1: such a waste of time when that person just proves
Speaker 1: to be a piece of ship or whatever. And you're like,
Speaker 1: exactly why did I do that? Like if you get
Speaker 1: tired of getting your feelings hurt after a while, you're like,
Speaker 1: I just I think I'm just going to be more
Speaker 1: discerning about who I give all these feelings too, since
Speaker 1: when my feelings are hurt, they really do get hurt.
Speaker 1: You know. It's not like I am like, to my core,
Speaker 1: like some unfeeling bit right, I certainly have feelings. You
Speaker 1: have feelings, and the people who really know me know
Speaker 1: that I am actually sensitive as ship and like my
Speaker 1: feelings get hurt, which is why only a few people
Speaker 1: can hurt them. Yeah, yeah, so it seems nice. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm like ice bitch maybe too to everybody else, but
Speaker 1: the ones who know me at all. I mean, well
Speaker 1: we bonded, we did. Yeah, it was love at first sight. Um,
Speaker 1: so we have to wrap up to you, but I
Speaker 1: we don't want to let you get off without talking
Speaker 1: about everyone's favorite topic. White feminist girl. I mean, I
Speaker 1: definitely listen, what do you mean interesting? And I was like,
Speaker 1: what are you talking about? Because when you came in
Speaker 1: and you said and you said you would listened to
Speaker 1: and as some of our I thought you were gonna
Speaker 1: be like, I don't know if I can be on
Speaker 1: because of this white feminist podcast. And I was like,
Speaker 1: we certainly, you know, we are white and we are feminists,
Speaker 1: and there's nothing we can do about that. But you
Speaker 1: know we're we are actively with every episode trying to
Speaker 1: get in different perspectives, whether it be other races, other genders,
Speaker 1: other orientations, other members of the LGBTQ community. So, um,
Speaker 1: we wanted to like, what what is it about white feminism?
Speaker 1: What is white feminism? In your words? Okay, So, white feminism,
Speaker 1: as I understand it, is the idea that feminism is
Speaker 1: a great concept, really great, you guys like so great,
Speaker 1: women are like equal to men, you guys, awesome. But
Speaker 1: then the feminism does not extend past women who look
Speaker 1: like you, or share your ideals, or are different from
Speaker 1: you in any real way. Your feminism doesn't acknowledge what
Speaker 1: happens when women who aren't like you have to go
Speaker 1: through life. So it's not like you don't think black
Speaker 1: women deserve equal pay, you know, to white men. It's
Speaker 1: more like you don't understand the hardships that a black
Speaker 1: woman has to face because she is black in addition
Speaker 1: to being a one of those two layers there, right,
Speaker 1: exactly what you're as a woman, maybe, but a different
Speaker 1: woman in a real way, and that is because of
Speaker 1: her blackness. But they don't really want to acknowledge that
Speaker 1: because on the other side of that thought is racism,
Speaker 1: and you're gonna have to unpack that the reason this
Speaker 1: black woman makes less than you do, white woman to
Speaker 1: every dollar the white man makes is because of racism. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: well it's similar to uh, like it's the discomfort. That's
Speaker 1: why they don't want to think about it. So so
Speaker 1: the feminism doesn't even go I mean that is like
Speaker 1: the first step into intersectionality, like just kind of like
Speaker 1: looking at women of different races, But then it goes
Speaker 1: there's so many different layers of privilege and oppression to
Speaker 1: that effect, and like when you start thinking about people
Speaker 1: who are born poor or born into um maybe parents
Speaker 1: who aren't as educated as yours, or all kinds of things,
Speaker 1: like when you start taking to account all the different
Speaker 1: hardships that people face just because of where they were
Speaker 1: born into society, you have to start looking at your
Speaker 1: feminism in a way that includes the people who are
Speaker 1: the most marginalized. And I feel like that's where that's
Speaker 1: why white feminism has a different that's why we all
Speaker 1: white feminism as opposed to like what I consider true feminism,
Speaker 1: which is which is making sure that the people who
Speaker 1: suffer the most are being uplifted lifting up because when
Speaker 1: we when we figure out that person's issues, when we
Speaker 1: solve that person's problems, when we fix society in a
Speaker 1: way that benefits that person, the rest of us will
Speaker 1: by nature have been lifted up. White women, you are
Speaker 1: like you are literally just one step below white men.
Speaker 1: I know, maybe it doesn't feel that way to you,
Speaker 1: but like anxiety, seriously, y'all are right there. Well, so
Speaker 1: it depends. I mean sometimes I still think men in
Speaker 1: general sometimes are still I mean obviously, I mean, I
Speaker 1: think I definitely agree Black people are treated like second
Speaker 1: class citizens in America, have been always, and anyone who's
Speaker 1: like thinks any differently, and like yeah, you're not really
Speaker 1: living in like the real world, Yeah no, and and
Speaker 1: and so like what are things that white women can
Speaker 1: do better or more of? Or because I you know,
Speaker 1: I do you think every I do, uh, every white
Speaker 1: woman who is white and a feminist like white feminism
Speaker 1: to me, I have this idea of but I don't think.
Speaker 1: I don't think, but that my opinion of the matter
Speaker 1: on this that not every white woman has that white
Speaker 1: feminist negative connotation to her. But I don't know, what
Speaker 1: what do you think? Well, I think if you're concerned
Speaker 1: that maybe you fall into the white feminist category, all
Speaker 1: you really have to do is change your approach, like
Speaker 1: take an honest look at yourself, like is this something
Speaker 1: that I do? Do I exclude when of color, disabled women,
Speaker 1: women for other countries, Like whatever do I do that?
Speaker 1: Maybe you didn't do it on purpose. It doesn't mean
Speaker 1: like you were setting out to be a bad person.
Speaker 1: It's just somebody saying, listen, what you consider feminism is
Speaker 1: not including people who have it much worse off than
Speaker 1: you do. And so it's like it's important to use
Speaker 1: your position of privilege in our society to uplift the
Speaker 1: people that the majority or those and privileged would not
Speaker 1: listen to anyboy. That's and that, but that goes for
Speaker 1: all of us. Like I may be black and a
Speaker 1: woman and queer in America, and that's like that's not good.
Speaker 1: But but I was born into a very educated family.
Speaker 1: I had a great childhood. I've been very well educated.
Speaker 1: I do very well for myself, and I hold privileges
Speaker 1: over other people in society. I'm cis gender, I can
Speaker 1: very easily pass for like straight, I'm not visibly queer,
Speaker 1: whatever that means. You have a large platform, right, right,
Speaker 1: And so it is my responsibility to take the privilege
Speaker 1: that I have an uplift the people who are not
Speaker 1: being listened to. That's why I talk about black trans
Speaker 1: women who have been murdered or like whatever. Like there's
Speaker 1: so many different people that it maybe doesn't affect me directly,
Speaker 1: but it's my responsibility to talk about those things, to
Speaker 1: bring attention to those in whatever way that I can.
Speaker 1: And I feel like we all have that individual responsibility, yeah,
Speaker 1: because I think so often as like as white people,
Speaker 1: I mean, like it seems like it's it's like almost
Speaker 1: now like we're expected to apologize for privilege when I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: wouldn't a time be better spent using the privilege like
Speaker 1: you just talked about, get very offensive when you say
Speaker 1: when you confront them with like a privilege, like you say, well,
Speaker 1: you're you have this privilege you have and it's a
Speaker 1: lot of people get really defensive. And I don't know
Speaker 1: why that it is if it's because they feel uncomfortable,
Speaker 1: or because they don't want to think that they do
Speaker 1: or but I don't know, or they put their problems
Speaker 1: in the in this box that like these are the
Speaker 1: problems of the world, and it's like their problems are
Speaker 1: so narrow minded about it. But I always thought that
Speaker 1: was so like people get so defensive. If you say
Speaker 1: what you said was racist, that doesn't mean you're the
Speaker 1: worst person in the world, but like, fucking examine yourself
Speaker 1: and like racist a little. I mean, it's almost impossible
Speaker 1: not to be, because like a little ignorance and then
Speaker 1: just as you learn more, you unpack. Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: and we have all been indoctrinated into it, like it's
Speaker 1: it's you don't even really realize that you hold racist
Speaker 1: beliefs or feel a racist way until you are directly
Speaker 1: confronted with it. A lot of the time, and that
Speaker 1: goes for people of color. A lot of people of
Speaker 1: color hold racist beliefs against other people of color because
Speaker 1: of anti blackness, because that is prevalent in our society.
Speaker 1: It is taught in our society immigrants. There are lots
Speaker 1: of immigrants who come to America and learn very quickly
Speaker 1: to adopt an anti black mindset in order to assimilate
Speaker 1: better into the society, because if you hate black people,
Speaker 1: you're fitting in. Yeah, it's some white people really just
Speaker 1: assume that all white people feel that black people are
Speaker 1: less than because I mean, people have said things in
Speaker 1: front of me, just like assuming because I am white,
Speaker 1: I feel a certain way, and I'm like, what the
Speaker 1: funk are you always wonder if that happens, if if
Speaker 1: that happens happens, and every time I'm like, what year
Speaker 1: is it again? Like it's just like it blows my
Speaker 1: mind that people just just assume that like I do.
Speaker 1: I do though say and I'm trying to not do
Speaker 1: this all often, but like speaking with hyperbole oft like, well,
Speaker 1: white people fucking But I do think that a lot
Speaker 1: of white people like white people are because because I
Speaker 1: don't should I suck. And I heard you talking like,
Speaker 1: you know, if we're marching for women's right, were you
Speaker 1: out marching for Trayvon and Mike Brown? And I was
Speaker 1: out marching for Trayvon and my Brown and I would
Speaker 1: be and I agree with you that We're very selective
Speaker 1: with our liberalism and with feminism, it's very selective. It's like, oh,
Speaker 1: is this affecting me directly? And if not, like am
Speaker 1: I pissed about it? Like you know, like I I'm
Speaker 1: super pissed about it. But when we talk about white
Speaker 1: women and we say, you know, white women need to
Speaker 1: do better, and maybe you are one of the white
Speaker 1: women who is already doing better, we're addressing the majority
Speaker 1: of you who voted for Donald Trump when it came out,
Speaker 1: when it came time to and we addressed that as well. Right, so, right,
Speaker 1: So so then when the thing is that we're not
Speaker 1: afforded the luxury of being individuals. When black girls do something,
Speaker 1: it is your whole. We're either a credit to your
Speaker 1: race or you're a disgrace to it. And there's like
Speaker 1: you you are, you are not an individual person. I
Speaker 1: am always a black woman, and so the things I
Speaker 1: do a representative of black women. So we're saying white
Speaker 1: women and maybe it's not you, white woman, but white
Speaker 1: women y'all because y'all did this. We're talking to you
Speaker 1: about this, we want you to address and if you're
Speaker 1: one of those people who is already doing better, then
Speaker 1: we want you to keep doing that. We want you
Speaker 1: to use your platform, your position, your proximity to people
Speaker 1: who are racist or whatever else to educate and to
Speaker 1: make them do better. Right, That's that's that's what. Don't
Speaker 1: let the uncle of Thanksgiving dinner just fucking say some
Speaker 1: side ask com I mean, and I'm sure it gets exhausting, like,
Speaker 1: but it gets exhausted for us too, because I have
Speaker 1: it's got to be. I mean, I have homophobic family,
Speaker 1: and it hurts my heart to hear them say random,
Speaker 1: off the cuff things that they maybe don't think are homophobic.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, like if we do not
Speaker 1: check the people closest to us, if we don't say anything,
Speaker 1: what changes? Yeah, Yeah, And then in the and on
Speaker 1: the last thing that I heard you're talking about, it
Speaker 1: was I think media does a really poor job of
Speaker 1: covering issues in the black and in other communities. But
Speaker 1: we'll just talking about the black community right now. As
Speaker 1: far as like you're specifically talking about like the Jennifer
Speaker 1: Lawrence Elite News and how everyone got up in arms
Speaker 1: when her nudes were leaked, but it had happened before
Speaker 1: to a number of black celebrities, and I and I,
Speaker 1: you know, and I was like, you know, you know,
Speaker 1: I didn't even know about the Rhanna leak pictures, and
Speaker 1: I was I would have been angry about that too.
Speaker 1: But it's like, how do we something bad happens to
Speaker 1: a white girl, it's because we don't know about it,
Speaker 1: and so how do we help? How do we force
Speaker 1: the media? And because it's like, so this is such
Speaker 1: like I wanted to see hidd in figures, but I
Speaker 1: did go to see hidden Figures because there's not a
Speaker 1: lot of movies. Uh, they're not enough movies made with
Speaker 1: black women or men in the leading roles. And so
Speaker 1: it's like, if they are made, we'll go see them.
Speaker 1: But how do we force Hollywood? How do we force
Speaker 1: the media to cover a little black girls murder like
Speaker 1: they would a little like that as well? Right, So
Speaker 1: the thing is it's very difficult to force, especially these
Speaker 1: giant media companies that have, you know, all these restrictions
Speaker 1: and things in place, like you're probably not going to
Speaker 1: force them to change their programming or worse, them to
Speaker 1: take a look at news that doesn't exclusively affect white women.
Speaker 1: So what I've done is to not I just choose
Speaker 1: not to engage in news sources that I feel do
Speaker 1: a poor job of representing the issues that affect black people,
Speaker 1: and instead I engage with media that I feel does
Speaker 1: a better job of representing issues that are affecting everybody.
Speaker 1: So there's lots of times, well, so I listened to
Speaker 1: a lot of podcasts, but I also read um a
Speaker 1: lot of blogs online. Um so there are news like
Speaker 1: I will selectively read, like the Washington Post or the
Speaker 1: New York Times. But it's like depending on the day
Speaker 1: and how much ship Trump has done and whether I
Speaker 1: can take it all. But like seeing in in particular,
Speaker 1: I do not watch unless someone has like sent me
Speaker 1: a particular link Fox News, I never engage with like
Speaker 1: that sort of thing. If I feel like these giant
Speaker 1: news companies aren't doing aren't being responsible with the way
Speaker 1: that they're reporting these things. Are you're seeing like these
Speaker 1: things are happening, and you're deliberately not covering the story,
Speaker 1: or you're deliberately showing one side or during whatever else.
Speaker 1: Like stuff that really I didn't start paying attention to
Speaker 1: until after Mike Brown was murdered in Ferguson, and we
Speaker 1: saw such a huge difference and what was being reported
Speaker 1: on TV versus what the people on the ground on Twitter,
Speaker 1: you know, taking pictures and videos were sharing with us
Speaker 1: as far as like what was actually happening. So I
Speaker 1: started my distrust of the major media probably around then,
Speaker 1: and now I kind of have these few outlets I
Speaker 1: go to online selectively, UM to watch. I watch a
Speaker 1: lot of BBC if I'm watching televising, yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 1: I listened to a lot of NPR too, so but
Speaker 1: as far as like televised news really other than the BBC,
Speaker 1: I don't watch a lot of it because it's just
Speaker 1: I don't trust it. I don't trust with Yeah, but
Speaker 1: I was just read the other day that there's a
Speaker 1: an upstate New York. There's a seventy five year old
Speaker 1: white dude from Connecticut's being tried because he was plotting
Speaker 1: a terrorist attack. But no one's fucking talking about it.
Speaker 1: But if the guy, if the guy was Muslim, every
Speaker 1: all the CNN would be right on top of that,
Speaker 1: because that fear that let's create a narrative, and and
Speaker 1: fear can control people and people can believe, and it's
Speaker 1: like it's such it's not like the version of a
Speaker 1: terrorism like oh that doesn't really fit into what we
Speaker 1: think terrorists like white who shoots up middle school's majority
Speaker 1: young white men if you line them all up, but
Speaker 1: no one's and no one frustrating that together. It's frustrating
Speaker 1: because it's like how do we even like what can
Speaker 1: we say to the people who are running these networks
Speaker 1: to be like, could you be a little less shitty
Speaker 1: with your coverage please, Like could you actually maybe do
Speaker 1: a better job of talking about every side of a
Speaker 1: story or maybe not trying to present something in such
Speaker 1: a way that it makes makes it look like people
Speaker 1: who are literally protesting the death of someone else like
Speaker 1: deserve to be shot with robber bullets or tear gas
Speaker 1: or anything else that can be Are you seeing the
Speaker 1: few as well? That's what Black Lives Matter is like,
Speaker 1: just has not and it's right to the emails, like
Speaker 1: they denounced that activity, they did announced that like group,
Speaker 1: there's always going to be a couple of people who
Speaker 1: interpret it incorrectly and then just yeah, right, I don't Yeah,
Speaker 1: So for me, I think it's been more of like
Speaker 1: supporting the media that I believe in, or supporting the
Speaker 1: media that you know does does the work that I
Speaker 1: think should be done. But I don't have a lot
Speaker 1: of hope in the major networks to ever really get
Speaker 1: their ship together. I don't Maybe the worst this presidency
Speaker 1: gets the real or they'll start getting I've kind of
Speaker 1: noticed the networks are biting back, um again, some of
Speaker 1: the stuff that Trump has said about the media and
Speaker 1: how all their polls are lying and everyone's lying. And
Speaker 1: this is because he just made stuff up and it
Speaker 1: just makes it right and it works. It works because
Speaker 1: people literally do not care about facts, you guys. And
Speaker 1: it was like, come into that realization, I think, yes,
Speaker 1: because it's like, was Donald Trump more entertaining than Hilary Clinton? Yes,
Speaker 1: but that's not this is not entertainer of the We're
Speaker 1: not voting for what DJ at the party, you guys,
Speaker 1: like for like the leader of the country. He is
Speaker 1: a dick, and like there are all these facts out
Speaker 1: about how awful he is, and people simply didn't want
Speaker 1: to get mad over stupid ship. I mean. And that's
Speaker 1: and and people frequently are voting in the best interests
Speaker 1: of their privilege as opposed to their best interests as
Speaker 1: an individual person. And there's so many poor white people
Speaker 1: who cast votes for Donald Trump who are going to
Speaker 1: see it alive, doesn't give a fun about your poising.
Speaker 1: His whole thing is being super it is you thought
Speaker 1: he was going to look out for you. Why would
Speaker 1: he give a funk about you? You've made money off
Speaker 1: not paying people just like you. What are you talking about?
Speaker 1: Do not care? Yeah? And they don't want to believe it,
Speaker 1: so they're like, you're wrong. But that's why the beauty
Speaker 1: of podcasting that is a truly that is not controlled
Speaker 1: by ads, like we can you know we started this
Speaker 1: podcasttimes they try to control us by saying like that
Speaker 1: wasn't the way he asked, did it? So sorry, but
Speaker 1: but we you know, we're very much like we get
Speaker 1: the spot. Like the sponsors that want to advertise, we're like, no,
Speaker 1: we don't want to advertise. We advertise with alcohol of
Speaker 1: just because we talked about alcohol enough and young kids
Speaker 1: and it just doesn't make sense. But like that's a
Speaker 1: no one's saying you can or cannot say X y
Speaker 1: Z at all. And that's what I love about podcasting
Speaker 1: because it's the only true democratic form of media that's
Speaker 1: I mean, it's one person's opinion a lot of the times,
Speaker 1: but it's still unfiltered and it's not because it's not
Speaker 1: being paid for. The opinion is not being We have
Speaker 1: total control over what we say, so it's nice. Um.
Speaker 1: And speaking of that, we need to let you go
Speaker 1: because I know you have to go somewhere. But where
Speaker 1: can we Where can we find you? So I have
Speaker 1: a website Crystal dot com that's c R I S
Speaker 1: S l E. I'm on the Read every week. You
Speaker 1: can find us in iTunes, SoundCloud, your favorite the podcast
Speaker 1: listening place. It is called the Read or this is
Speaker 1: the Read dot com. Awesome, thank you so much, Thank
Speaker 1: you so much for having me. It's so very fun.
Speaker 1: All right, it was a pleasure. Thanks Mike Brown. My
Speaker 1: crown to you guys. Be Funck the Anti slot Chimming
Speaker 1: podcast will talk to you next Friday. I got high.
Speaker 1: I get cool with the pen and the drives that
Speaker 1: I put through the fire, through the fire, and I
Speaker 1: good time when I'm local. On my grind on the Google,
Speaker 1: you want to get mine is the mortal to the ship,
Speaker 1: blow like a sea, for she speaks told never loogal
Speaker 1: on my grind on the Google, you want to get
Speaker 1: mine is the mortal to the ship, blow like a
Speaker 1: seal for everything so made me feel like God couldn't
Speaker 1: make it back. So I knew the ones that I
Speaker 1: had a break breaking chances. I had it to it
Speaker 1: and not a bullshit I had. I ain't got it.
Speaker 1: They don't get it. When they do, they never credit
Speaker 1: Bogle wins. You gotta spread it, take off, leave him,
Speaker 1: don't regret it. I got a billion reasons to be winning.
Speaker 1: B t him going in and every and time will
Speaker 1: tell you know what that should be said. This ain't
Speaker 1: no happy, And then we beginning again, aint hurt, beginning
Speaker 1: maginning McGinn it maginning. We win and we went and
Speaker 1: we win and we win. H it say't no happy,
Speaker 1: And it was the beginning. It say't no happy, and
Speaker 1: we begin no. Then I got high. I get with
Speaker 1: the pen and the drives that I put through the fire,
Speaker 1: through the five and I