Speaker 1: Welcome to Guys We Fucked. Guys We Guys we Booked.
Speaker 1: I'm Christina, I'm Corenn. We're sorry about last night, the
Speaker 1: Anti sluck Shaming Podcast. I never stopped. Hey fuckers, Welcome
Speaker 1: to another episode of Guys We It's the Anti slus
Speaker 1: shaming podcast. I'm Coren. I'm Christina, and thank you so
Speaker 1: much to our sponsor today, talk Space. Today's show is
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Speaker 1: com slash g w F. Man, I want to texted
Speaker 1: them today on Girl God Bad BMS. Well, what are
Speaker 1: they gonna say? Though? I don't know, but they're really
Speaker 1: encouraging you to just reach out at any time chucks
Speaker 1: a by blood or fall again, Toby, that's normal. That
Speaker 1: That's what I mean. It's not never clotted. Really, it's
Speaker 1: a totally normal it's I mean, it's not normal in life.
Speaker 1: Like I told you. You know, Chinese people don't do that,
Speaker 1: but it's for American women. It's just like you know,
Speaker 1: the clotting shouldn't affect your mood. Though I had like
Speaker 1: a rage attack. I think this is related to the
Speaker 1: other thing that you told me. Okay, well, yeah, I
Speaker 1: didn't know if you wanted to talk to you. He's
Speaker 1: helling me. Don't know what I want to talk about
Speaker 1: your healing air. I don't care. A ton of us
Speaker 1: don't related to that. Yeah, I just really for a second,
Speaker 1: I was at my dad was getting a hard surgery
Speaker 1: yesterday and when it started, and the bathroom in the
Speaker 1: family waiting room area has an automatic flusher. So I
Speaker 1: went to the bathroom and I was like, this is
Speaker 1: it was like a waterfall of blood. I've never felt
Speaker 1: any witness anything like that from my body in my life. Wait,
Speaker 1: a waterfall of blood that sounds and a clot Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: and and then I went to look at you. Just
Speaker 1: didn't you just go off the couple of months ago.
Speaker 1: It's been like four months, but your body might be
Speaker 1: is still adjusting to it. But I'm just Kate Wolf.
Speaker 1: It is Kate, Kate Wolf. Thanks for having me. No um. Oh.
Speaker 1: I told her about it and she was like, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I'll go easy next time. And I was like no, no no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I want to be healed as fuck. Um. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I went to look at it and I was like,
Speaker 1: is that a what the and then the automatic flusher
Speaker 1: did its saying. I'm like, shit, that's not clotting, is
Speaker 1: not abnormal? Okay, I just never, I've never It's always
Speaker 1: been light, easy, breezy, lemon, squeezy. I think your body
Speaker 1: is probably just adjusting. I mean normally going on the
Speaker 1: pill makes it makes it light. But yeah, hey, lunch crowd,
Speaker 1: what's up eating a sandwich? Oh? I was like, what
Speaker 1: are you gonna tell the lunch crowd? Oh? Yeah. We
Speaker 1: literally always opened with the most disgusting you know one.
Speaker 1: And I was thinking about that because I was like,
Speaker 1: I want to talk about this real quick. As I
Speaker 1: was like in the my bathtub with just no water,
Speaker 1: but just like blood going towards the drain. And I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm gonna talk about this because this is
Speaker 1: real ship. And if anybody listening, like a guy, anybody
Speaker 1: was sex with women is listening and they're like it gross.
Speaker 1: I mean yeah, if you're eating it, well it crosses
Speaker 1: hand set too though. That's the only defense. Like I'd
Speaker 1: never talk about like my own period grosses me out
Speaker 1: because it's disgusting. Yeah, it minds usually not except this time.
Speaker 1: Just the fact that blood is like pouring out of
Speaker 1: your vagina. I mean, it's not the blood for anyone wondering.
Speaker 1: It's not dirty. It's fresh, fresh as blood. Yeah, it's clean,
Speaker 1: but it's just it's just reminds you of Blair joke.
Speaker 1: Just gross. Um yeah, okay, happy period. Um, I'm also
Speaker 1: celebrating something today. You're period. No, not period. I skipped
Speaker 1: it this month. I was not I was not feeling it,
Speaker 1: so I just didn't know. I just didn't. Right, you
Speaker 1: can do that. I haven't done that in a while
Speaker 1: just because like a lot of times, like they only
Speaker 1: like give me a certain amount of pills, and like
Speaker 1: it's hard to get the insurance to pay for it.
Speaker 1: If you're going through them too quickly. Oh, got it,
Speaker 1: got it all. Every once in a while I treat myself.
Speaker 1: So what, um, just my anniversary today is actually the
Speaker 1: day March fifteen, two days before St. Patrick's. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I must have lost my mind. I guess. Happy anniversary,
Speaker 1: Karin and James. Yeah, you know a year ago to you,
Speaker 1: I was eating a Deli sandwich I had just audition for,
Speaker 1: just for laughs, and they were like, no, that wasn't good.
Speaker 1: And I came back and was went to the bodega
Speaker 1: and then j yeah, well by James's apartment. I wasn't
Speaker 1: living there at the time. I was living downtown in Harlem.
Speaker 1: And then um, and then James was like, I want
Speaker 1: to do this is that It was very cinematic. I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm sorry, did you have a script prepared?
Speaker 1: Because he I don't think he knew that he was
Speaker 1: going to ask me out that day. He knew apparently,
Speaker 1: but he saw you in that deli with that sandwich.
Speaker 1: Well he had given uh, he had the girl. He
Speaker 1: was also the other girl. He was like still sometimes
Speaker 1: fucking was the new knew that I was going to
Speaker 1: be his girlfriend before I knew that he was because
Speaker 1: he had to stop it with her because she stopped
Speaker 1: he hit him up. Yeah, and he was like, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: things are getting pretty serious with Karen. But I didn't
Speaker 1: know about this, yeah, because I didn't think that he
Speaker 1: wanted to do that, So there was no discussion of
Speaker 1: like would you want to well, I had given him
Speaker 1: kind of like an ultimatum. I was like, listening, I'm
Speaker 1: not trying to like. I was like, I've had every
Speaker 1: funk body in the whole world that I could possibly
Speaker 1: have wanted. I'm full, It's great, every kind everyone I
Speaker 1: wanted I had, and I'm just kind of like over it.
Speaker 1: So it's like, either this is going to be more
Speaker 1: or I'm just gonna be like and I had no
Speaker 1: problem piecing out. Really, I was gonna be sad for
Speaker 1: like a week, probably like you were at that show.
Speaker 1: We had that show at Eastville while when we were
Speaker 1: possibly good, I just cut it off. Yeah, And I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm not going to be nice to him.
Speaker 1: And then he was like hey Christine, and I was like, hey, James,
Speaker 1: how are you. It's good to see you look great.
Speaker 1: I was like, I can't be mean very hard to
Speaker 1: be like those those things where you want to be
Speaker 1: mean because like your friend and that person are having
Speaker 1: a toward romance, but it's not really like no one
Speaker 1: was so kind in that moment to me. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: know I eat that bad anyway, good good, And I
Speaker 1: was really skinny, so I was like sad still in
Speaker 1: a good move, so it didn't really matter. Whatever. Now
Speaker 1: I'm happy. And what did you say bad? When he
Speaker 1: said let's do this, um or I want to do
Speaker 1: this is what he said. Well, I think he was.
Speaker 1: He was just like I want to I want to
Speaker 1: do this, and I think I think I was like,
Speaker 1: what were you in a Delhi? No we had we
Speaker 1: were I was eating the deli sand what I might
Speaker 1: have finished already. That happens fast, so yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 1: was eating a little turkey sandwich. Um. And then we
Speaker 1: had and then we just like sat across the couch
Speaker 1: from each other and like stared at each other and
Speaker 1: then we went in silence. That's perfect. Yeah. And then
Speaker 1: then he probably smoked a cigarette at the window. And
Speaker 1: then uh, we had some sort of like a publicity
Speaker 1: meeting about how we were gonna write and it's all
Speaker 1: comfortable circle. Yeah, and that this past weekend we had
Speaker 1: a staycation at a hotel and the whole weekend. Uh no,
Speaker 1: just one night. It was it was hard enough to
Speaker 1: get one night when like both of us were like,
Speaker 1: we're not I had to cancel a show actually, but
Speaker 1: I was like I just had was like, this is
Speaker 1: what we'll do. You know, that's true love canceling a show.
Speaker 1: And then I learned that James does like taking bubble bass,
Speaker 1: which I didn't think he would take a bath together
Speaker 1: well because that yeah, it was like you've never done that,
Speaker 1: not with him. Tubs are too small. Yeah, well this
Speaker 1: kind of like a like fancy a fancy tub. And
Speaker 1: then I didn't think that he would be into that,
Speaker 1: but then he was very into that. Wow, you learned
Speaker 1: something new and you bang in the tub. Not probably
Speaker 1: not because it's kind of hard, you know what. Yeah,
Speaker 1: water is very difficult. And then also he's just so
Speaker 1: much taller than me and it's like because his legs
Speaker 1: were still out of it. Um. But it was a
Speaker 1: very nice, romantic bath and then he I fell in
Speaker 1: love with him again when he when he we left
Speaker 1: in the morning and he was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I forgot to steal all the soaps from the bathroom,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh no, I already got that.
Speaker 1: That is was very high grade soaps and we definitely
Speaker 1: needed to steal Somo or Mumu or something. It was
Speaker 1: like really nice, really good portions. You know, that was
Speaker 1: some handcrafted ships. They never give you the good amount
Speaker 1: of portions. It's like of his luxury. I get a
Speaker 1: little fucking dab. Yeah. No. I walked in and I
Speaker 1: was like, wow, this is a nice place because this
Speaker 1: this is a brand that I'm not even familiar with.
Speaker 1: What a lovely night. Yeah I was, and I like
Speaker 1: you got to do something like like I watched US
Speaker 1: and now Number home on Saturday night, so I was like,
Speaker 1: this is delightful. Yeah. Yeah. The sketch with the dog
Speaker 1: who voted for Trump was like hilarious. Yeah, that was
Speaker 1: well actually cute. Yeah that's another been pretty good. That's up. Well,
Speaker 1: happy anniversary. Thanks. Well it's I know it's weird because
Speaker 1: I don't really talk about James very much on the
Speaker 1: podcast because I kind of resolved that I wasn't going to.
Speaker 1: So I feel like everyone just thinks he's like secretly
Speaker 1: abusing me. I feel when you don't agree last something,
Speaker 1: and I feel like I feel like because it's been
Speaker 1: such like a political discussion that we've had, Like a
Speaker 1: lot of people don't like him, but they don't really
Speaker 1: know anything about him. They exactly come come see us
Speaker 1: live c slive. Speaking of coming, which I assumes you did,
Speaker 1: Uh do it? Uh? Tonight? Uh Friday, March seventeen. Oh,
Speaker 1: it's St. Patrick's Day, So hopefully you're sober right now.
Speaker 1: That would be great. It's Nacho Bitches co hosted by
Speaker 1: myself and Blair Saki at New York Comedy Club. Tickets
Speaker 1: are ten dollars with the code Nacho and then the
Speaker 1: following night, the Saturday, I am headlining that l g
Speaker 1: B t Q event that I told you about kind
Speaker 1: of vaguely last week and didn't have any information. But
Speaker 1: I'm really excited because I'm donating my portion uh two
Speaker 1: New Alternatives, which is the wonderful Center for at Riffs
Speaker 1: at Risk l g B t Q youth that grant
Speaker 1: to you her on the podcast. He's actually a board
Speaker 1: member now and Uh, they're gonna we're gonna be doing
Speaker 1: a drive there for money and socks and underwear if
Speaker 1: you have clean ones please, Oh god, yeah, don't be
Speaker 1: an animal because they need that. It's that Don't Tell
Speaker 1: Mama on West Forties six straight, nine pm. If you
Speaker 1: use the code balls, you get fIF I made that
Speaker 1: at myself. That's great. You get fifty percent off. And
Speaker 1: just email info at heron entertainment dot com. That's h
Speaker 1: E R R O N Entertainment dot com and say
Speaker 1: Karen Sanchio. Balls if you're had it been banging a
Speaker 1: guy or David guy or whatever, and they like do
Speaker 1: the brain thing with their balls, like brain and they
Speaker 1: squeeze it and then you're like, what it is a brain?
Speaker 1: I don't know that I've ever seen that, but I
Speaker 1: know that maybe I've seen it in like a film
Speaker 1: or something. It's fascinating. Balls. Balls are so they're weird,
Speaker 1: so fucking weird. They're weird. Old man is hanging from
Speaker 1: your taint? Okay, speaking a taint. It's Friday, March is
Speaker 1: the next Glamour Plus, hosted by myself and Wendy Starling.
Speaker 1: It's seven thirty pm, doors at seven. We do it
Speaker 1: as Zinc Bar, eighty two West third Street in the
Speaker 1: West Village. It's gonna be a good time. The show
Speaker 1: is twenty one and over. Tickets are fifteen bucks. Uh,
Speaker 1: they're selling fast, so get them. The link in this
Speaker 1: podcast is where you can do that. And then if
Speaker 1: you want to see the Guys We Funked the Experience,
Speaker 1: which is our tour show, We're gonna be all over
Speaker 1: these United States of America. Boston Thursday April we are
Speaker 1: at the Wilbur Limited ticks available for that one. Chickopee, Massachusetts,
Speaker 1: Friday April fourteenth. We're gonna be at the Hooky Law Austin,
Speaker 1: Texas April through the twenty two for the Moon Tower
Speaker 1: Comedy Festival, and individual ticket links will be available after
Speaker 1: south By Southwest. Yeah, there's only badges right now. Sorry, guys,
Speaker 1: I know. We keep streaming along. Houston, Texas. We have
Speaker 1: like three tickets left for Sunday April at Warehouse Live,
Speaker 1: Las Vegas, Nevada. Thursday May eighteenth through Saturday, May we
Speaker 1: are at the Crap Shoot Comedy Festival. The Guys We
Speaker 1: Fund Experienced show is happening, and then additional stand up
Speaker 1: dates where Christina or myself will be performing will happen
Speaker 1: that long weekend. Today's Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Friday, June tewod We're
Speaker 1: gonna be at the PEPs Theater and then Chicago, Illinois, Saturday,
Speaker 1: June three, We're doing the fourth Annual Annual Comedy Festival,
Speaker 1: which is sponsored by the Onion the A V Club.
Speaker 1: But there's two shows, a ten pm and a seven
Speaker 1: pm show. And that's that is this Talio or Thalia Hall.
Speaker 1: I think it's Talia and then it's that was like
Speaker 1: a girl's name was that I would say Talia, so
Speaker 1: that Talia Hall. Uh. We can't wait to come back
Speaker 1: to Chicago. Oh, I know, I'm outsided. Yeah, I just
Speaker 1: pronounced names how I want to pronounce him? Like her
Speaker 1: mine for Harry Potter all the times I read Harry
Speaker 1: Potter twice. Uh, only the first two books. I just
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know how to say. That's
Speaker 1: always gonna say Harmony. Oh I always like her moin.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, but oh man, do you guys read books? Good?
Speaker 1: You should? We have a book out available for pre order.
Speaker 1: It's not it's not out yet, but it's coming out
Speaker 1: October and we have an incentive if you preorder it
Speaker 1: by Thursday, March PM. You fill out a form on
Speaker 1: our website which is sorry about Last Night Comedy dot com.
Speaker 1: Click that little thing at the top of says book
Speaker 1: and fill out the forum after you preorder it, and
Speaker 1: we will shout your name out on the podcast. So,
Speaker 1: without further ado, thank you saw much to Jillian Peters,
Speaker 1: Christine Garcia, Kate Roach, Christine Pulaski, Jessica A Donna, Alexis Mendoza,
Speaker 1: Rob McCann, Yvonne Young, Cat Towers, Lee Froun, Kevin Webber,
Speaker 1: Hannah Martell, Nicole Muso, Jacqueline Estrada, Natasha Morris, Nina Fidadov.
Speaker 1: I didn't do that right, Olivia hey Ho, that's what
Speaker 1: it says, Samantha Kimball, Daniel Parent, Kate Burt, Emily Bean,
Speaker 1: Jessica Kennedy, Alexandra O'Grady, Donna Post, amber In Dossio, Dana Goodman,
Speaker 1: Valerie Mathurin, Amanda Hollohan, Daniel Close, Dan yelled Close, Colleen Harwood,
Speaker 1: Crystal Mavrose, alex Sierra Mattero, Szarah Bowman, Sarah Miller, Christiana Reads,
Speaker 1: Kimberly Irons, Audrey Bellaria, I love you, I'm so sorry,
Speaker 1: Audrey Shelley mccola, Joe Williams, Ali Plumber, Heather Oric, Melissa Martinez,
Speaker 1: Megan Depento, Caitlin Cotton, Laura oh Sair, Jessica Talent, Jonathan
Speaker 1: do Belle, Sarah Roberts, Kelly Bowman, And also thank you
Speaker 1: to Evelyn Anderson, Laura cats Quinn, Jacob Smalley, O'Neill, Caitlin Possano,
Speaker 1: Patricia oh Bringer, Kylie Westfall all caps because she needs
Speaker 1: attention and Harry and you got it, Amber Larson, Natasha Stevenson,
Speaker 1: Brianna Rusto, Emily Lawson, Bridget maz At, Amber Hazar Rudd,
Speaker 1: Nicole Medlin, Nicole Swisher, Samantha Shankel, Kelsey Lehman, Jamie Maddox,
Speaker 1: Brianna Aikin Back, Sarah Hewitt, Melissa Young, Sophia Munroe, Munroy,
Speaker 1: Brian Gibbons, Larissa Philo, Rachel Bird, Renee Sutton, Lexei Barlow,
Speaker 1: Tone Me Foley, Amy Morin, Kim West, Brittany Annie, Sarah McGrath,
Speaker 1: Christine Horrivath, re Scory, Jennifer Hollyan, Kelly Landry, Megan Woodard,
Speaker 1: Elizabeth Zadek, Kelly bar Hit, Rebecca Nievs, Gorns, Gore, Can
Speaker 1: Goren's floor, Can, That's not God, that's a different country name.
Speaker 1: So I can't be expected. Ella Street, Becca Dardick, Carolina Castellanos,
Speaker 1: Desiree Saints, Melanie o Halleran, Kylie Berry, Annie Lewis, Courtney Thieves,
Speaker 1: and Justine Snave. Uh. And if you are a white
Speaker 1: woman and didn't hear your name, well, what the funk
Speaker 1: are you doing? Every white woman in America from the
Speaker 1: sounds of that, has already purchased this book where are you?
Speaker 1: And a few people who are exotic couple exotics. People
Speaker 1: think I'm exotic and then they see me and they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: never mind because my name and we're gonna be doing
Speaker 1: that for the next couple of shows. So if you're like, wow,
Speaker 1: this is this annoys me, and you in pre order
Speaker 1: and you're like this is annoying, there's a fast forward
Speaker 1: fifteen second button on your on your phone, okay, because
Speaker 1: I don't want to hear no tweets, no emails being
Speaker 1: like the thus did you just not do that? I will.
Speaker 1: I'm I have my period and I will write something
Speaker 1: mean back. Maybe not by the time you go, but
Speaker 1: we'll see. Um. Okay, oh god, Okay, here's another. This
Speaker 1: is a new sponsor that we have for the podcast
Speaker 1: that are really fucking like we use all the products
Speaker 1: that we talked about on the show, and we love
Speaker 1: them a lot. This one I really loved. I love
Speaker 1: more than I thought. Today's episode of Guys We Fucked
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Speaker 1: Whatever I don't you know there? The natural is good, right.
Speaker 1: There's three types of these beverages. You can get sleep, Detox,
Speaker 1: or Skin and Hair. We have all three of them,
Speaker 1: and I've tried all three of them. I'm done with
Speaker 1: all the cases they sent me. Unfortunately, each one contains
Speaker 1: the juice of one lemon note sugar and it's under
Speaker 1: ten calories. Plus they do uh they do with the
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Speaker 1: has activated charcoal, which absorbs the toxins in your body
Speaker 1: and is secretly a great hangover cure. And that is
Speaker 1: actually very true because I tried that out and it works.
Speaker 1: And I didn't know we were being sponsored by them
Speaker 1: at first, and they sent us these cases and the
Speaker 1: Detox one with the charcoal is like black, kind of
Speaker 1: dark gray, and I was like, I don't know who
Speaker 1: the fox had me this black water because it's charcoal,
Speaker 1: but I'm gonna drink it and it was great. So
Speaker 1: I'm like, hope not being poison and I was, yeah,
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Speaker 1: exact amount of ingredients required, they are reducing food waste.
Speaker 1: They're basically heroes, guys. Some meals for March include salmon
Speaker 1: poccado with orzo and broccoli, pork chops and miso butter
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Speaker 1: would if I was like one of those like crazy
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Speaker 1: Blue Apron a better way to cook. Every week I
Speaker 1: get pictures for my dad. He's like, I can't believe
Speaker 1: I cook this. The food is very good. It's good.
Speaker 1: It's very good. That's really good. Oh, let's read some
Speaker 1: emails if you want to email us our email address,
Speaker 1: sorry about last night's show at gmail dot com. The
Speaker 1: subject line of this email is my sister's older husband.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I read that one. Hey, I
Speaker 1: am emailing you all because I listened to your episode
Speaker 1: with the two women who are comics and found your
Speaker 1: conversation about how older men can be predatory towards younger
Speaker 1: female comics thought provoking. I have a sister that is
Speaker 1: twenty one twenty four, and she's married to a guy
Speaker 1: that is twenty one years older than her. He is
Speaker 1: three months younger than our mom. Oh, he started dating
Speaker 1: when she was eighteen. I've always thought that it was
Speaker 1: super fucking creepy that not only would he want to
Speaker 1: date a woman so much younger than him, but he
Speaker 1: would want to marry her. He left his current girlfriend
Speaker 1: for my sister. Not to say that she is an
Speaker 1: amazing she really is, but she's already outgrown him, and
Speaker 1: she is considering altering her values under his influence. Now
Speaker 1: full disclosure, I fucking hate this guy always have. They
Speaker 1: met at a local bar slash hotel where they both worked.
Speaker 1: Their relationship reminded me very much of the conversation that
Speaker 1: you all had about how the older men may not
Speaker 1: know that their actions are predatory, but they are. When
Speaker 1: she was younger, she always said that she had no
Speaker 1: interest in getting married or having kids, and that she
Speaker 1: was not really super into monogamy, which in my family, uh,
Speaker 1: which in my family was and is totally fine. We
Speaker 1: all grew up thinking that love is love, and it's
Speaker 1: beautiful at shapes and forms, and sex is equally beautiful
Speaker 1: and unique as the people having sex. That being said,
Speaker 1: my sister's relationship has challenged me and my beliefs. When
Speaker 1: she started dating this guy, she said it was just fun.
Speaker 1: Then the next thing we know, she's engaged and going
Speaker 1: to get married in Thailand while they were there. Then
Speaker 1: she gets pregnant there where the Methodist bullshit and they
Speaker 1: make the decision to have an abortion, which was not
Speaker 1: a big deal. But the next thing I know, she
Speaker 1: was talking about having kids in the future, which freaks
Speaker 1: me out because it seems to me that he is
Speaker 1: manipulating the ship out of her and her values. I
Speaker 1: would like to hear some more commentary about age differences
Speaker 1: and relationships and what circumstances are, is healthy or not?
Speaker 1: Thank you all so much. I love both of you.
Speaker 1: So you know I I I am a little I've
Speaker 1: always loved older guys. When I was like, honestly probably
Speaker 1: the youngest fifteen, I remember going, I cannot wait, like
Speaker 1: in date a thirty five or four year old. But
Speaker 1: you're the young person, so that's fine that you think, yes, exactly.
Speaker 1: And if I was fifteen and a thirty five or
Speaker 1: four year old was interested in me, that's fucking weird. Fifteen.
Speaker 1: It's the responsibility of the older person. Now right with this,
Speaker 1: you're so your sister's twenty one, the guys forty two.
Speaker 1: I mean when I was twenty one, I was banging
Speaker 1: a forty year old and I fucking loved that. I
Speaker 1: loved that he was older. It was my dream come
Speaker 1: true from when I was fifteen because the age that
Speaker 1: I always wanted to date stay the same as I
Speaker 1: got older. So I don't you know, you can't. It's
Speaker 1: a little it's a big age difference. But also her
Speaker 1: altering what she wants to do with her life if
Speaker 1: she wants kids, if she doesn't want kids, that changes
Speaker 1: whether you're with somebody or not. And I've changed my
Speaker 1: mind on if I want kids or not throughout pretty
Speaker 1: much every one of my relationships. It just ebbs and
Speaker 1: flows what I want out of life. And your sisters
Speaker 1: so young, and especially in your early twenties, that's an
Speaker 1: age where you're you're figuring it out, So I'm not
Speaker 1: sure if he's manipulating her. Maybe you have further evidence
Speaker 1: that's like, yes, he is pressuring her to do this,
Speaker 1: or saying that her opinions are wrong, in which case
Speaker 1: I would say, yeah, he's definitely manipulating her. But she
Speaker 1: could also just be in love with this man and uh,
Speaker 1: changing her mind about what she wants out of life. Um.
Speaker 1: And also I thought it was interesting where she said
Speaker 1: you said that her relationship with him is challenging your beliefs,
Speaker 1: because I feel like that's what what really seems to
Speaker 1: be the main problem is, Like it just doesn't you
Speaker 1: You're not it's not what you would envision for your sister,
Speaker 1: and it's not what your sister says she's wanted. Um.
Speaker 1: But again, I don't know much about this guy, so
Speaker 1: if he's a huge piece of ship, that's a different story.
Speaker 1: But nothing so far. Did you see anything so far
Speaker 1: in this email that was a giveaway. I saw a
Speaker 1: very important line and was allowing that she has already
Speaker 1: outgrown him. I've been there, and that's definitely. I mean, basically,
Speaker 1: I don't think the problem is an the age difference
Speaker 1: of twenty years. She's just so young and she's married. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think the problem is that your sister got married
Speaker 1: at twenty one. That's a huge mistake. I don't care
Speaker 1: who you are or how happy you are right now.
Speaker 1: If you're if you are a twenty run right now.
Speaker 1: And like I got married and I had a great time. Sure,
Speaker 1: talk to me in ten years, and I swear to God,
Speaker 1: if you're still happy, I will I don't know, I
Speaker 1: will vend moll you money. I just think it's very
Speaker 1: I'm not saying it's impossible. I am saying it is very,
Speaker 1: very very unlikely to be able to make that decision
Speaker 1: when you're twenty one. This is not the time. This
Speaker 1: is not the age where people die when you're you're
Speaker 1: twenty five of Dysenterry anymore. There's absolutely no reason to
Speaker 1: get married at twenty one. What the funk are you doing?
Speaker 1: My mom got married when she was eighteen, and they're great,
Speaker 1: but it was they took a break, they took a
Speaker 1: three year high. And also my dad, my dad was
Speaker 1: a lot older, but it was. I mean that that's
Speaker 1: the only example of a relationship that I can think of,
Speaker 1: And those are different times too, So it's like in
Speaker 1: this age, the way we know so much about other
Speaker 1: people and and in social media definitely plays into that.
Speaker 1: You know too much about other people, you see too
Speaker 1: many other options about. Yeah, and like monogamy is getting
Speaker 1: less and less like the thing. So I just I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think she was kind of like, it's very the
Speaker 1: notion that someone so much older wants to be with
Speaker 1: you is very sexy and romantic, especially when your your
Speaker 1: other choice is other is year old guys. Gross? Why
Speaker 1: would I want that? No, of course, yes, of course
Speaker 1: I don't care, and I do like I could know
Speaker 1: someone is like has been to prison, you know, does
Speaker 1: maybe is weird for liking me? And I would still
Speaker 1: opt for someone in their forties over a man in
Speaker 1: their twenties. Like men their twenties. Sorry, guys, you're just
Speaker 1: not appealing. You're like you're going to yeah, and then
Speaker 1: and you know what you and you're also like you're
Speaker 1: like a fine one. You will get better with time,
Speaker 1: as you know, when we just we just crushed, wrinkle
Speaker 1: up and dry up and go sit in a ball
Speaker 1: in a corner of the room. But yeah, And I
Speaker 1: don't know if you are deciding that she's outgrown him
Speaker 1: or if she has actually said the sentence, I feel
Speaker 1: like I have outgrow him, but I have one and
Speaker 1: been in this exact situation. Uh, and it's said, but
Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, it's like men who are in their
Speaker 1: forties dating women in their twenties traditionally are a little
Speaker 1: bit immature. So as the as a woman, and you
Speaker 1: get you get older, you're gonna keep maturing. This guy
Speaker 1: is forty two. He's not going to be maturing anymore.
Speaker 1: He's not going to get better. This is who he is.
Speaker 1: So your sister is going to continue to get better,
Speaker 1: to get smarter, to figure things out. This guy's he's
Speaker 1: paused that pause, buttons has come on it. It's it's
Speaker 1: down and it's not coming back up again. But okay,
Speaker 1: I I've and I understand that that makes a lot
Speaker 1: of sense to me. But in terms of I mean,
Speaker 1: she's not saying if she should intervene, but like, don't
Speaker 1: you know if she if she comes to you and
Speaker 1: asks you for advice or if she's upset, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: would say something and voice your concerns and say, you know,
Speaker 1: divorce is a thing, right and you shouldn't feel bad
Speaker 1: about it. If that's what you want. People always ask
Speaker 1: you they should intervene. I'm like, your sister's twenty one
Speaker 1: and went to Thailand and married a forty two year old.
Speaker 1: She's not gonna take it. She's not gonna be like,
Speaker 1: you know what, ship You're fucking right. I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: down to the courthouse and file my paper. She has to.
Speaker 1: She has to make her mistakes, and her only only
Speaker 1: thing is I would do whatever whatever you kind to
Speaker 1: convince her not to have a baby. But other than that,
Speaker 1: she's already done. She's gone to the worst she can do,
Speaker 1: go to Thailand and get married before you know. But yeah,
Speaker 1: let's just try to keep I would say, try to
Speaker 1: whatever you can do to keep kids out of that picture. Uh,
Speaker 1: And that is that happy Friday guys. Hey, uh, subject
Speaker 1: of this email is I don't know how to act
Speaker 1: in a polly relationship. Sad crime girl. Okay you, okay, okay. Hi.
Speaker 1: I one time sent you a message while I was
Speaker 1: high at work. Then I just reread it and it
Speaker 1: makes no sense and I'm so sorry. Don't be sorry.
Speaker 1: I appreciate it, all right, girl. Well, maybe apply that
Speaker 1: knowledge to the long email that comes after. Anyway. I've
Speaker 1: been seeing my boyfriend for about ten months. We're both
Speaker 1: seniors in college up in Calie Man. I'm originally from
Speaker 1: l A. He's a nor Cal native, and we're hella
Speaker 1: in love. We smoke weed a lot, We go to races,
Speaker 1: We explore lots of fun sex things, and I have
Speaker 1: a leash and a collar. We love our subdom relationship dynamic.
Speaker 1: We've had threesomes, foursome, we've swing, I don't know, we've
Speaker 1: been swingers, and he got a lot done intended to
Speaker 1: love this chick. And he has had sex with girls
Speaker 1: outside of the relationship without me too. He was fucking others,
Speaker 1: mostly because I was setting abroad for three months in
Speaker 1: the beautiful city of London. But before I left, we
Speaker 1: kind of opened our relationship because long distance is hard.
Speaker 1: He had sex with some other girls he met at raves,
Speaker 1: and I didn't have sex with anyone because I felt
Speaker 1: uncomfortable and I was afraid of STDs and ship. I
Speaker 1: was okay with only him getting it on because I
Speaker 1: knew he I could if I wanted to, but I
Speaker 1: just didn't, and instead I spent my time exploring and traveling.
Speaker 1: No regrets cool. I've been back since December and everything
Speaker 1: has been great until about a month ago, when he
Speaker 1: confessed to me he has feelings for another girl. They
Speaker 1: worked together and are really good friends already, so these
Speaker 1: feelings are more than just sexual. I wasn't sure how
Speaker 1: I felt about sharing my partner romantically, and I told
Speaker 1: him this, but that conversation led to more of a breakup,
Speaker 1: and I instead decided I would try it. I've shared
Speaker 1: him sexually and I love it because I'm a cup
Speaker 1: queen like fuel you. So I thought that if I
Speaker 1: felt jealous, I would confront him and I would try
Speaker 1: to work through my feelings because I know it's my
Speaker 1: insecurity causing the jealousy. Super mature, mature right. The problem
Speaker 1: is it's not working. I never saw myself as a
Speaker 1: monogamous person. But I've also never saw myself being in
Speaker 1: love with more than one person or sharing my partner
Speaker 1: in a romantic way. Great. I like the realizations throughout
Speaker 1: the email. I can really see myself with this guy
Speaker 1: for a long time. I love him so much. Girl,
Speaker 1: we didn't he weren't even anogmous for ten months. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna stop saying. And I can really get
Speaker 1: my head around the Polly relationship. But once we're in practice,
Speaker 1: like when I know he's with her, I just can't
Speaker 1: feel good. Okay, I try. I try so hard to
Speaker 1: remind myself that he loves me, he wants to be
Speaker 1: with me, and just because he's with her doesn't mean
Speaker 1: he doesn't love me, but it just fucking hurts. I
Speaker 1: can't stop comparing myself and this other girl. And I
Speaker 1: tell him this, and he tries to comfort me by
Speaker 1: telling me he loves me for me, and it works
Speaker 1: at the time, I'll feel better, but as soon as
Speaker 1: he's with her, it just fucking hurts again. On top
Speaker 1: of it, my roommate is really judgmental of our relationship,
Speaker 1: and I constantly tell her that it's not for everyone,
Speaker 1: for you and Wow. We may be unconventional. We're working,
Speaker 1: are you? But I sometimes feel like I'm lying to myself.
Speaker 1: Go because she's answered her own question, because are we
Speaker 1: really working? We've gotten into this pattern she comes up
Speaker 1: in conversation because I want to express my feelings of
Speaker 1: hurt and jealousy. He makes me feel better. I cry
Speaker 1: and feel stupid for ever feeling hurt or jealous in
Speaker 1: the first place, and then I get that feeling all
Speaker 1: over again when he hangs out with her again or
Speaker 1: just some time passes, and I fucking think about it.
Speaker 1: I've never felt jealous, really, and I would be totally
Speaker 1: fine if he came to me and said, I really
Speaker 1: want to fuck this girl. But this isn't that at all.
Speaker 1: They cuddle, they go on dates and kids. Yeah, your
Speaker 1: boyfriend has two girls. Yeah, yeah, your boyfriend has two girlfriends.
Speaker 1: Girlfriend has two girlfriends, but they've never had sex a k.
Speaker 1: Things are only getting started, and they're only going to
Speaker 1: get worse. I'm afraid that if things keep going, I'm
Speaker 1: going to lose my mind and my boyfriend. I can't
Speaker 1: tell him I don't want this anymore without forcing him
Speaker 1: to choose between the Polly relationship. He could have with
Speaker 1: someone and our relationship. I've also wondered if it's because
Speaker 1: I haven't fucked anyone else, but honestly, I never felt
Speaker 1: like I really wanted to. I'm attracted to other dudes
Speaker 1: and girls, but I just never had the desire to
Speaker 1: go beyond using my imagination. It's so much work to
Speaker 1: go out and bring someone back in. Girl, I hear you.
Speaker 1: It's pressure, and I'd rather have a connection with someone.
Speaker 1: But I don't really have any guy friends I could
Speaker 1: sleep with at the moment, probably because I've already slept
Speaker 1: with them all before I got a boyfriend l So
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do. I don't know if
Speaker 1: I should try harder to maybe branch out so I'll
Speaker 1: feel more wanted, or whatever it is. My brain is
Speaker 1: making me feel upset about If that doesn't work, though,
Speaker 1: then what I love my boyfriend. You keep saying that,
Speaker 1: but I'm not feeling it. But I'd rather him be
Speaker 1: happy in a polly relationship ship with someone else then
Speaker 1: force him into our monogamish relationship where he might be unhappy.
Speaker 1: And I always wonder what could have happened between him
Speaker 1: and this other girl. I'm really sad because this conflict
Speaker 1: won't let me think about anything else, and I just
Speaker 1: want to be happy again, um and and not sad
Speaker 1: because of some dumb boy. I'm a twenty one year
Speaker 1: old senior, so you'll probably say I'm young and stuff,
Speaker 1: but you never know. I mean, you are young and stuff.
Speaker 1: The choices I make now are like important, are like important?
Speaker 1: Are the important or like important to what may happen
Speaker 1: in five years and stuff. So I mean, this is
Speaker 1: so funny to me because you said you're gonna say
Speaker 1: I'm young and stuff, and then you literally go, the
Speaker 1: choices I make now are like important to what may
Speaker 1: happen in five years and stuff, like, yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: know all my choices. I don't know all my choices
Speaker 1: are scaring me. Anyway. I love you guys, because Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: it sounds like I'm reading my diary from freshman year
Speaker 1: of college. Okay, So the thing is, Okay, I know
Speaker 1: you think you're in a polly relationship, but just because
Speaker 1: your boyfriend's has two girlfriends doesn't mean you're a polly relationship.
Speaker 1: A polly relationship for people who are actually in that
Speaker 1: community is very well constructed. There are still dramatic though
Speaker 1: a lot. There are a lot of conversations. Uh. And also,
Speaker 1: if it's a polly relationship, it's not just your fucking boyfriend.
Speaker 1: Like you, guys, you should have some kind of a
Speaker 1: relationship with this. Yeah you got a schedule ship with
Speaker 1: the chicken ship. Yeah, I mean need. If the relationship
Speaker 1: is truly the three of you, then you have to
Speaker 1: have a deep relationship with her. It doesn't have to
Speaker 1: be sexual, but it has to be some kind of
Speaker 1: a deep friendship. What you are describing right now is
Speaker 1: your boyfriend you into having two girlfriends. God damn, that
Speaker 1: is what happened. Girls. Also, you are you are not emotional.
Speaker 1: You are emotionally monogamous and sexually explored. If I would
Speaker 1: say because it's a cuckolding thing, because I want, I
Speaker 1: meant I literally I masturbate pretty much. Every time I masturbate,
Speaker 1: it's to Stephen banging another girl pretty much every time.
Speaker 1: If he went to a movie with another girl, I
Speaker 1: would lose my ship. I would sit in the row
Speaker 1: behind them and do weird, freaky scary ship to them. Well,
Speaker 1: actually know what I would be like, No, please don't
Speaker 1: do that. I would communicate first, But you know the
Speaker 1: urge I would be really wait, I thought you were
Speaker 1: interested in having an open relationship at one point, um,
Speaker 1: not now, definitely not now. But the romantic aspect of
Speaker 1: that is open relationship sexually. Oh, and that's what I've
Speaker 1: That's what it's kind of always just like sleepovers or
Speaker 1: probably not sleeping over. Probably I probably we probably do
Speaker 1: a rule where sleepover. Yeah, I'm like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: but my point is I don't think I would ever
Speaker 1: want an open relationship that is emotionally open. Yeah. That
Speaker 1: sounds horrible and exhausting and not for me, and it's
Speaker 1: certainly not for this chick. Well because yeah, and like
Speaker 1: I like, you know, honestly, this sounds so stupid, but like,
Speaker 1: watch like the Sister Wives show on TLC. How I
Speaker 1: know it's tramatic, even though I know reality television is
Speaker 1: far from reality. But I mean, I've talked to people
Speaker 1: in Polly relationships and it's not smooth sale on a
Speaker 1: percent of the time and if they're very happy, but
Speaker 1: there is truly a sister ship between those women. I
Speaker 1: will say that there's a lot of communication, there's a
Speaker 1: lot of co parenting going on, there's a lot of
Speaker 1: responsibilities that are shared, and it's and what happened. It
Speaker 1: seems like you guys just are going, oh, like we
Speaker 1: both fucking like fucking A lot of people were open
Speaker 1: about it. So let's just like he does like just
Speaker 1: to have a polly relationship. Well I think she does
Speaker 1: in theory. She's more like me. You're more like me,
Speaker 1: like in theory, like you like to do stuff, but
Speaker 1: then like you don't actually want to do it. It's
Speaker 1: just like a sexy fantasy but like it doesn't really
Speaker 1: make sense in the real world. And also you feel
Speaker 1: you don't want to force him to choose, but like
Speaker 1: he tricked you into this ship, Like I don't know,
Speaker 1: maybe he did it unintentionally, but that's what exactly what happened.
Speaker 1: But why not make them choose? You're upset? Yeah, but
Speaker 1: second of all, you've only been together ten months. In
Speaker 1: those ten months, you were away in another country and
Speaker 1: he was just sucking other people. And also, just look
Speaker 1: at the list of things that you had to do.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you had to do, but it's
Speaker 1: a lot that you did in ten months that I
Speaker 1: don't know where you're going to go from here, because
Speaker 1: you've already done all this stuff, and if it took
Speaker 1: that much to keep I don't know, like if you're
Speaker 1: doing it to keep each other interested, but like that's
Speaker 1: a lot for ten months. And also like just the
Speaker 1: trust isn't there to develop some kind of open or
Speaker 1: polly relationship after ten months? In my opinion, it's just
Speaker 1: not it's not even like your age. It's just like
Speaker 1: this was not executed properly. It really wasn't. And I
Speaker 1: think at this point it's gonna be very hard to
Speaker 1: go backwards because he's tasted the forbidden fruit. And it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, if he if he knows that one girl
Speaker 1: is alive on the planet, that's gonna let him have
Speaker 1: two girlfriends. He's probably smart enough to figure out that
Speaker 1: if you're not going to do it just as you said,
Speaker 1: someone else will. But this is you don't need this ship.
Speaker 1: You don't need this ship. You really don't. You're not happy.
Speaker 1: It makes you sad when he's hanging out with the
Speaker 1: other girl. Yeah, you never have. You never should feel
Speaker 1: anxiety from your partner and your relationship, and it's continuous.
Speaker 1: If it's consuming you, you don't want to be no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no girl. Did you read about very interest. You read
Speaker 1: that story about and then we'll winter our guests. Sorry,
Speaker 1: Uh Kim John's hap brother getting murdered and uh oh god,
Speaker 1: yeah I knew all about that by accident. I know
Speaker 1: you do, I joked out, but I was reading it
Speaker 1: just I was like reading for the research into it.
Speaker 1: She was she thought she was on a prank show.
Speaker 1: She wented too four men and sprayed them in the
Speaker 1: airport with a bottle. Asked the closer, eyes spread with
Speaker 1: a bottle of water. Yep, she got tricked in a
Speaker 1: murdering Kim John, I know. I was like, she's no
Speaker 1: longer my hero. Not that it's good you should murder people,
Speaker 1: but well, I mean it's not her, it's not her phone.
Speaker 1: She was, But it's just like, I like, I feel like,
Speaker 1: fuck that, fuck that you're an accidental murderer. Yeah, It's
Speaker 1: like if I had murder someone, I would damn well
Speaker 1: wanted to my circumstances exactly self defense something right? All right? Wow,
Speaker 1: I am very excited for this week's guests. This is
Speaker 1: a big, totally ship. Christina's Faith, one of my favorite
Speaker 1: porn stars on the planet who I've been a fan
Speaker 1: of for a very long time. It was very uh odd,
Speaker 1: but cool to talk to somebody that I like masturbated
Speaker 1: to time after time. Um, she's so fucking cool. She's
Speaker 1: in a work unning porn star, an adult film director
Speaker 1: to time, author and podcast host. Ladies and gentlemen, please
Speaker 1: welcome to the show, Asa Kira, Please, oh please. I
Speaker 1: don't want you saying and you love at me your
Speaker 1: body spe language at him back, give it to me. Baby.
Speaker 1: My knees are we increases you jump my slow ground
Speaker 1: before you wrote yourself following too hard. It has a
Speaker 1: treaty by the way saying my name when you saying
Speaker 1: when you say it same, the way you saying my
Speaker 1: name when you say day, when you say it same.
Speaker 1: We are here like era awesome, awesome, fun me. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say it wrong the whole time, totally on damn it.
Speaker 1: See that's the thing we were just talking before you
Speaker 1: got here, Like no one asks porn stars like, hey,
Speaker 1: what are you now saying? How do you pronounce your name?
Speaker 1: To do it? About where you're from? Like not sex?
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Well, it's weird because we've
Speaker 1: interviewed two porn stars on this podcast so far, and
Speaker 1: you're the only one that I've actively masturbated to. So
Speaker 1: it's so weird. Is that weird for your I love it.
Speaker 1: I think I think we're from the ultimate compliment. I mean,
Speaker 1: like I didn't get insupporting because I don't want people
Speaker 1: jerking off to me. Good point, right, that makes lot
Speaker 1: of sense. So what what was your childhood? Like? What's
Speaker 1: what do we got? What we work? Um? I'm actually
Speaker 1: from right here in New York City. UM, I have
Speaker 1: a really I think, like a really normal, wholesome background.
Speaker 1: I'm an only child. Crazy how it's true. Um, and
Speaker 1: you know, like my parents are still together. I've never
Speaker 1: had any kind of trauma, you know, I've been really fortunate,
Speaker 1: like I never been raped or anything like that. Um,
Speaker 1: And I feel, I I don't know, like I I
Speaker 1: took this test on Facebook, same thing. I mean, it
Speaker 1: was like this like check your privilege test, and I
Speaker 1: felt like I scored really high because I'm Asian, so I'm,
Speaker 1: you know, a minority, but I grew up in New
Speaker 1: York City, so like being it's not the same right
Speaker 1: as if I were from like Wisconsin or whatever. So
Speaker 1: I I do. What I wanted to say is like
Speaker 1: I feel like I do come from like a very
Speaker 1: lucky background. Um, And for a long time, I was
Speaker 1: like why am I imporn? Like this is wrong? Like
Speaker 1: why do I want to do this? And now I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh whatever, I'm just really horny. Why Yeah, why are
Speaker 1: you important because you're horny? I yeah, you know, like
Speaker 1: I I was searching for the answer for so long.
Speaker 1: I'm in therapy and everything, and like I'm still, I
Speaker 1: guess kind of looking for the answer. But I think
Speaker 1: I'm just like a really hyper sexual person. I'm not.
Speaker 1: I don't really feel the need to like find my
Speaker 1: excuse anymore. Yeah. I felt like that with like kinks
Speaker 1: that I have because I used to try and dissect it.
Speaker 1: But I'm like, I don't want to ruin it for myself.
Speaker 1: I actually, no one's getting hurt. Who gives a ship?
Speaker 1: That's the other thing is like when you over analyze it,
Speaker 1: it becomes like to almost technical. Yeah, like I you're funny,
Speaker 1: Like would you do you find there's something like wrong
Speaker 1: with doing porn or did you? I think so? Yeah,
Speaker 1: for sure. I definitely grew up with this stigma of
Speaker 1: like sexuality is bad. I think my parents are like
Speaker 1: pretty progressive people. But not. But but they still like,
Speaker 1: we don't really talk about sex at home. You know,
Speaker 1: when we're watching a movie and two people are sucking,
Speaker 1: it's awkward. I leave the room with my parents. I
Speaker 1: hate that so uncomfortable. I'm thirty two and I still
Speaker 1: feel weird about that. And like I remember, even from
Speaker 1: a young age, like I get caught masturbating and like
Speaker 1: my mom would be like, no, no, no, we don't
Speaker 1: do that. Oh you got caught. I can't believe I
Speaker 1: didn't get caught. Yeah, And it's and that's the other thing,
Speaker 1: Like in therapy, um, I learned that a lot of times,
Speaker 1: like when children masturbate really young, from a really young age,
Speaker 1: it means they're from like a chaotic household and they
Speaker 1: do it. It's like a self southing. I didn't know that,
Speaker 1: but that makes sense. Yeah, it was, yeah, chat fight
Speaker 1: a lot. I wouldn't say chaotic, like I feel like
Speaker 1: I came from a stable home, but my parents did
Speaker 1: argue a lot. So maybe that's what that is because
Speaker 1: they my parents yelled at each other and upstairs with
Speaker 1: my fingers in my ears being like stop. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: that actually makes a lot of sense. Yeah, so I
Speaker 1: think like, that's the closest I've come to that at
Speaker 1: How do they know you do born? Yeah? They do
Speaker 1: can hide that, yeah the famous born star, Like that's
Speaker 1: gotta be. When I first started, I did not tell
Speaker 1: them and I was like, if they find out, they
Speaker 1: find out, I'll deal with that. I'll cross that bridge
Speaker 1: when I get to it. And UM, so I didn't
Speaker 1: tell them. They found out pretty much right away. It
Speaker 1: was like six months into doing porn. My mom calls
Speaker 1: me and we're close. So it was like torture, like
Speaker 1: hiding this huge part of my life. And my mom
Speaker 1: was like I saw something on TV and I don't
Speaker 1: even want to know what that meant TOV. Yeah, like
Speaker 1: why would I be on TV? Like, but I don't
Speaker 1: want to pry, Like I don't want to know. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's fine if that's what she wanted to say of
Speaker 1: how she's discovered it. So um and then obviously you
Speaker 1: know it was a stray and on our relationship. But
Speaker 1: you know, over the years, like they see that I'm
Speaker 1: healthy and then I'm happy and I'm not on drugs
Speaker 1: or um, you know anything like that. So I think
Speaker 1: they've they're coming to peace with it. Um and now
Speaker 1: I live two blocks away from them, so yeah, so
Speaker 1: it's it's it's um, it's been like kind of a journey,
Speaker 1: but we're good now. How do you far much? Do
Speaker 1: you get into it with your parents? Do they inquire
Speaker 1: or do you bring it up about any Like I
Speaker 1: just want to make sure you're okay. What did I
Speaker 1: do something wrong? Yeah? I think that's the biggest source
Speaker 1: of pain of me doing porn is like my mom is,
Speaker 1: you know, I think Asian moms are a lot like
Speaker 1: Jewish moms in the sense that like they're very overbearing
Speaker 1: and carry a lot of like guilt and it's a
Speaker 1: lot of like Mimi mea type stuff. So my mom
Speaker 1: is very much like what did I do that you're
Speaker 1: in porn And it's it's really hard for me to
Speaker 1: convince her that it's not her fault and you don't
Speaker 1: have to be an unhealthy person mental physically to want
Speaker 1: to do pornography right. And I don't know that I'll
Speaker 1: ever win that battle with my parents. I don't know
Speaker 1: that they'll ever be fully convinced that like I'm doing
Speaker 1: it in a healthy way, that I'm not fucked up right,
Speaker 1: And a lot of things with porn to one thing
Speaker 1: that I've learned when we talked to Stoya, um, because
Speaker 1: she used to date my my boyfriend, and we got
Speaker 1: into it about testing imporn. And that's like, porn actresses
Speaker 1: are almost the safest sexually in terms of STDs because
Speaker 1: you are aware of your status because you're constantly getting tested.
Speaker 1: I think, so yeah, like now we get tested every
Speaker 1: two weeks. And you know, I, before I got into porn,
Speaker 1: I was a pretty um promiscuous person. And you know
Speaker 1: I I feel much safer and now, um, like I'm
Speaker 1: definitely having sex with more people now, but I also
Speaker 1: feel a lot safer. Um. You know, I'm working with
Speaker 1: tested people in a controlled environment like people before you
Speaker 1: have scenes with them. Um no, I would say interview.
Speaker 1: But like I'm in a really lucky position where like
Speaker 1: I so now I'm contracted to a company called Wicked Pictures,
Speaker 1: so I get a lot of saying who I'm working with,
Speaker 1: what I'm doing, what kind of scenes I'm doing. Um,
Speaker 1: And to give you that porn, you have to pay Yeah,
Speaker 1: Wicked for sure. But that and that I think is
Speaker 1: something that it's come to my attention that we should
Speaker 1: probably be pushing, like porn that you pay for a
Speaker 1: little more over these tube sites because Steven knows so
Speaker 1: much about the porn industry through through day Stoya and
Speaker 1: and it's like one dude owns all those tube sites,
Speaker 1: and the actors and actresses don't get paid well and
Speaker 1: they're the conditions aren't necessarily the best, and like Stya
Speaker 1: has her trench coat company, and it's like we should
Speaker 1: be probably pushing this on people for sure. And you know,
Speaker 1: I get asked this all the time, like, oh, like
Speaker 1: what's the before and after? Like, and I actually got
Speaker 1: into porn right when like the Internet was hitting it big.
Speaker 1: It was actually, well, I don't know, because like it
Speaker 1: sounds like the golden era of porn was right when VHS,
Speaker 1: DVD and Internet all crossed, so they were making like
Speaker 1: all this money now with free porn everywhere. Um, I
Speaker 1: don't know what it was like before free porn. Like
Speaker 1: that's all I know. So I haven't seen a difference. Um,
Speaker 1: but of course it's affecting us, of course. I mean
Speaker 1: one thing though, we will get emails from listeners who
Speaker 1: are like eleven is probably youngest that we've heard from,
Speaker 1: and that's kind of awesome. It is At first, I
Speaker 1: was a little horrif because I was like, oh, an
Speaker 1: eleven year old listen to me talking about my clip a.
Speaker 1: But then if they're not getting information from us talking,
Speaker 1: they're getting it from porn. And people have this huge
Speaker 1: misconception about porn sex and regular sex. Totally in your opinion,
Speaker 1: what's the main difference. I mean, the main difference is
Speaker 1: that one is fantasy, and I think, you know, like
Speaker 1: it's it's definitely something I feel really conflicted about because
Speaker 1: personally I have and I know, like you guys talk
Speaker 1: about this a lot, but like I have crazy twisted fantasies.
Speaker 1: I loved having like really violent, dirty sex. I mean,
Speaker 1: I love all of it, but I also like that
Speaker 1: and I definitely incorporate a lot of that stuff into
Speaker 1: my porn as well. And I would not want that
Speaker 1: to be someone's introduction to sexuality, well because what they're missing.
Speaker 1: What that's missing A lot of porn videos that are
Speaker 1: like p DSM focus. I think a lot of the
Speaker 1: times they don't cover, like the conversation about boundaries that
Speaker 1: happens beforehands wherever. Yeah, you never really cover that if
Speaker 1: that footage is not really out there. Ever, Um, we
Speaker 1: do have those conversations before we shoot scenes, and we
Speaker 1: definitely have no lists and we have you know, our
Speaker 1: lists of things we do and don't do and what
Speaker 1: turns us on and what doesn't, and that context is
Speaker 1: all missing. And you know, I think I really do
Speaker 1: believe though, that if we had more sex education in
Speaker 1: schools from a younger age, like it wouldn't be so confusing,
Speaker 1: Like no one would view porn as education if we
Speaker 1: had sex exactly, if we had got education. Where So
Speaker 1: it's I wish, like I don't see us as the problem,
Speaker 1: but I I do feel like very conflicted about it. Now,
Speaker 1: those conversations, the new conversations, and the likes and dislikes.
Speaker 1: Is that mandated or is that something that porn stars
Speaker 1: came together and decided we're going to do this? Pretty
Speaker 1: much everything in porn has been like the like industry
Speaker 1: coming together and making our own rules. Um. I would say,
Speaker 1: like nothing is nothing is like legally mandated, Like we
Speaker 1: can't even actually legally ask to see anyone's test um.
Speaker 1: So like there's a lot of like gray area in
Speaker 1: the way we share our tests. Like now we're all
Speaker 1: on a system and it's like an online database. Um,
Speaker 1: it used to be just like you show someone your
Speaker 1: piece of paper. Um, you know, some people got away
Speaker 1: with faking those, and like it's it sucks because like
Speaker 1: I I very much like I trust my coworkers and
Speaker 1: I definitely feel like we have, you know, this bond
Speaker 1: of like we're already ostracized so much from society. All
Speaker 1: we have is each other, the best of Let's make
Speaker 1: the best of it. Like, um, let's not lie about
Speaker 1: our tests. Um so um, yeah, like everything is is
Speaker 1: pretty much like on the honor system. I mean there's
Speaker 1: proof because of the database and everything. But yeah, like
Speaker 1: so the the you know, the conversations are not mandated,
Speaker 1: but like pretty much any respectful or even respected performer
Speaker 1: is going to have that conversation before the scene. What
Speaker 1: are your nos? Um? I have like really specific nos.
Speaker 1: I have three people on my no list. Um. I'm
Speaker 1: really like I feel like I'm the perfect fit for porn.
Speaker 1: I always say like porn is the perfect job for
Speaker 1: a really specific kind of person and then for everyone
Speaker 1: else it sucks. And I definitely fall under that category
Speaker 1: of like it's the best job ever for me. Um.
Speaker 1: But like I'm really I think I'm really able to
Speaker 1: find something in pretty much anyone that I like want
Speaker 1: to have sex with them, um or I can find
Speaker 1: I can make something turned me on. So it's really
Speaker 1: rare that like I'm like, this person is just like
Speaker 1: absolutely not so all my all my no list like
Speaker 1: reasons are like personal, right, So if it's a person,
Speaker 1: it's like, well they yeah, like this guy doesn't like women.
Speaker 1: Actually yeah it is, um not surprised um um, but
Speaker 1: I mean officially yeah, Like I I'm sure there are
Speaker 1: women that would I would get booked with and I'd
Speaker 1: be like no, I don't want to work with her. Um.
Speaker 1: But it's just you almost like don't have to put
Speaker 1: a woman on your no no list because like the men,
Speaker 1: we only have like twenty that we cycle through over
Speaker 1: and over, whereas women it's like thousands of them coming
Speaker 1: in every single day. So it's a little bit different. Um.
Speaker 1: But yeah, my hard nose. Um, I don't like my
Speaker 1: nipples pinched. Yeah, I don't sensitive, but other people like
Speaker 1: really love their nipples, just like screw twisted and half
Speaker 1: can I ask, are your breastreal? No? They're fake? Okay,
Speaker 1: so we did that. Did it sensitize your nipple at all? No? Um,
Speaker 1: it didn't. I if anything, my nipples are really sensitive.
Speaker 1: That's why I don't like I figured yeah, yeah, so like,
Speaker 1: But I do hear a lot of women saying once
Speaker 1: they get their boobs done, they lose like all sensation
Speaker 1: pretty much in their nipples. I think it's some women
Speaker 1: that are like, the nipples are the spot for me.
Speaker 1: Just twist them and beat them up and hit him.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, dah no, no. Do they yell cut
Speaker 1: when they felt? Like? Are their cuts when they film porn?
Speaker 1: It depends on the type of senior shooting or like
Speaker 1: what companies. So like, for Wicked, we shoot most mostly features,
Speaker 1: which is like when there's dialogue and there's a plot
Speaker 1: and it's it's basically like a movie with sex scenes.
Speaker 1: Um so at Wicked we cut a lot because you know,
Speaker 1: it's just like a it's a bigger production, it's more produced.
Speaker 1: I guess has anybody ever yelled cut, Well you're on
Speaker 1: a guy's dick, Yeah, that's so weak time and then
Speaker 1: do you just like get off as dick? And then
Speaker 1: you're like, well, what what did you envision for this director?
Speaker 1: It depends who the guy is. I guess, like, if
Speaker 1: I'm into the guy. I'm just gonna keep sucking him
Speaker 1: and I'll let them cut and I'll like keep I'll listen,
Speaker 1: try to do a double task. But like I mean,
Speaker 1: I I'm a fan of like keeping the chemistry going,
Speaker 1: Like I like even when we're cutting, like, I'll always
Speaker 1: try to stay engaged, whether it's with a guy or
Speaker 1: a girl. Um, whether you know they need to keep
Speaker 1: hard or not, like I just I don't know. To me,
Speaker 1: it's more fun. And that's why I like you're porn
Speaker 1: because it's like you were into it. You can tell
Speaker 1: that you love it, and that makes me like able
Speaker 1: to enjoy it so much more. Yeah, and I think
Speaker 1: it sucks. Like when I when I noticed that someone's
Speaker 1: not into it, I feel really bad because a guy.
Speaker 1: Has that ever happened with a guy? Yeah, for sure?
Speaker 1: And the guy's not into it? Yeah? Um, do you
Speaker 1: ever ask me, like, dude, do you want to be here?
Speaker 1: Like double check blink ones? I mean, And maybe this
Speaker 1: is you know, totally sexist to say, but when the
Speaker 1: guys aren't into it, I don't feel bad for them
Speaker 1: at all because it's like women have been making that's
Speaker 1: a sacrificing. Yeah, Like I just it doesn't like trigger
Speaker 1: that in me to feel bad. So I don't think
Speaker 1: they were like trafficked into it, right, that's right. They're
Speaker 1: a little less vulnerable as people. Yeah, And I hate
Speaker 1: even to think like that, but it's get it kind
Speaker 1: of true. And then I think like a lot of
Speaker 1: times women, um, you know, like I think it's just
Speaker 1: a situation. You see more that the woman is like
Speaker 1: victimized and she's imporn and that sucks, like whether it's
Speaker 1: yeah exactly yeah, and like the Hawk Girls want a documentary,
Speaker 1: Like a lot of people in the industry are like
Speaker 1: really anti, but I think it was actually like a
Speaker 1: pretty important documentary because I personally I didn't know that
Speaker 1: side of the industry existed, and I don't deny that
Speaker 1: it does exist, because I think amateur is like a
Speaker 1: whole other world program that's category. Yeah, that category of
Speaker 1: porn is it's totally different world. And you know, like
Speaker 1: I it really opened my eyes to like that side
Speaker 1: of the industry, and I feel really lucky, and I
Speaker 1: feel like I've had such a privileged experience in porn,
Speaker 1: like to not have to go through that, Um, I
Speaker 1: think that would have totally turned me off in a
Speaker 1: way and damaged me in a lot of ways. So, um,
Speaker 1: I I definitely I don't agree with what was going on.
Speaker 1: Don't force and don't do that. I'm you guys talking
Speaker 1: about before, Well we'll go back to that, but just
Speaker 1: I sorry, we we got off on a tangent. But
Speaker 1: I don't think you finished your list of hard nose
Speaker 1: as far as sexual nips. I know people are gonna
Speaker 1: be like, what else was it? I know, Um, this
Speaker 1: is actually a really shallow one. But I love being
Speaker 1: I like, I'm not so much into the humiliation stuff,
Speaker 1: but I like being kind of degraded, Like I love
Speaker 1: being called a horror. I love being called a slut,
Speaker 1: and I think that all stems from being called a
Speaker 1: horn a slut. And then yeah, and then somewhere along
Speaker 1: the way, I was like, fuck it, I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: make it turn me on. UM, so there's that. But
Speaker 1: I don't like when I don't like when someone like
Speaker 1: um humiliates me, like I don't like winking like a
Speaker 1: pig a dog. And I was like absolutely, yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't know if I could do that. So like that
Speaker 1: kind of stuff that's in your personal life that happened, Um, no,
Speaker 1: that's more on a porn set. And and the thing
Speaker 1: is like in my personal life, if a guy is
Speaker 1: genuinely into that, I can get into it, Like all,
Speaker 1: maybe not like ask for it on my own, but
Speaker 1: if I can see that it genuinely turns you on,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm willing to try it. But like on
Speaker 1: a porn set, it's like, I'm you're not doing it
Speaker 1: because it turns you on, and you're doing it because
Speaker 1: it's it's an interesting line to just throw out there
Speaker 1: during a porn shoot with that wasn't previously discussed, Like
Speaker 1: because are you like, what's the theme of our fucking Yeah?
Speaker 1: You gotta over that, right, yeah, totally, And usually you do.
Speaker 1: That's like if anything, the director goes over the theme
Speaker 1: and like you know, just by what company you're shooting for,
Speaker 1: like what kind of scene. If it's cank dot Com
Speaker 1: for example, like you know what you're getting into your
Speaker 1: it's not going to be a romance scene. Um so yeah,
Speaker 1: so um yeah, context is everything, I guess. So if
Speaker 1: it's a scene where it's like just basically sex and
Speaker 1: not a lot of dialogue, is it is there a
Speaker 1: script for the sexual acts that will happen? Sometimes Yeah,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say a script. It's not like a tangible thing.
Speaker 1: But the director, for example, a company like Browsers, is
Speaker 1: usually like, we want you to hit these three positions.
Speaker 1: What you do in between them, we don't care, but
Speaker 1: we and they're doing it for like the ads and
Speaker 1: the you know, like the banners and stuff. They're like,
Speaker 1: we want to see you in cowgirls in the yellow shirt.
Speaker 1: Those banners can get suck up my my my because
Speaker 1: and sometimes it's like that girl looks well, I don't
Speaker 1: want to see that. God damn it. It's a big category.
Speaker 1: And yeah, you know what, Actually, I would say that's
Speaker 1: almost a hard note for me to like, I'm not
Speaker 1: into I don't mind playing the milf like that doesn't
Speaker 1: bother me at all. I think milks can be totally hot.
Speaker 1: Like the age thing is fine for me. I I
Speaker 1: feel pretty comfortable like being an older woman in porn,
Speaker 1: which is crazy that it's true. I am um, but
Speaker 1: that doesn't bother me. But like, I don't like it
Speaker 1: just doesn't turn me on to like play the the
Speaker 1: taking advantage of the younger girl role. It's not hot
Speaker 1: to me. So I have one thing I've tried to
Speaker 1: keep constant while I've been in porn. And I feel
Speaker 1: like I feel like I got into porn when I
Speaker 1: was twenty three, which is again pretty old to get
Speaker 1: into porn, because a lot of girls are getting in,
Speaker 1: you know, the day after their eighteenth birthday. But I'm
Speaker 1: so glad that I waited, because you know, I had
Speaker 1: the confidence to say no to the things I don't
Speaker 1: want to do, and I had a more clear cut
Speaker 1: idea of like what my sexuality was, not a total idea,
Speaker 1: not a complete idea. Better than when you were eighteen,
Speaker 1: much better than when I was eighteen. And I think,
Speaker 1: like one thing I've consistently been able to do is
Speaker 1: like if it doesn't turn me on, I shouldn't do it.
Speaker 1: Um And that's something I try to keep in my mind.
Speaker 1: And it's really every woman and man should have that, Yeah,
Speaker 1: totally totally, and like I don't. I even find myself
Speaker 1: almost forgetting that constantly. So like I think reminding myself
Speaker 1: of that has abled me to like do porn with integrity. Well,
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people know, I get that
Speaker 1: a lot of people don't think of that. We We
Speaker 1: have KRINT and I have a live show and there's
Speaker 1: a segment where you can bite couples on stage and
Speaker 1: we bring to have the girls. I go off with
Speaker 1: the girls and Krinn asked the guys questions. We bring
Speaker 1: the girls back on and I asked them the question
Speaker 1: to see their answer matches, and it's usually it's about sex,
Speaker 1: but they have to think, and I'm like, think from
Speaker 1: your vagina, thanks your pussy, like what do you want
Speaker 1: to do? And they because they always are like I
Speaker 1: think he said, or what want to think from your pussy? Yeah? Important,
Speaker 1: it's yeah, I'm constantly reminding myself of that. I like that,
Speaker 1: think from your pussy? Absolutely? How did you? How did
Speaker 1: you get How does one get into porn? So? I
Speaker 1: got into porn pretty gradually, Um I had. I was
Speaker 1: always like really fascinated with the sex industry, Like even
Speaker 1: growing up, I was like, oh my god, strippers and
Speaker 1: hookers are just like awesome people. Um but I didn't
Speaker 1: know any because like growing up in New York, you
Speaker 1: just don't meet people like in porn or like you
Speaker 1: just don't like it's it's not like California. So um,
Speaker 1: I don't know. It just like felt like this very
Speaker 1: far away dream of like like so I can only
Speaker 1: like a children's book. I couldn't veil in the Yeah,
Speaker 1: I imagine it's like how kids feel about being like
Speaker 1: an astronaut, Like, oh, I'll never get write this children's book.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's an amazing children's I just wanted
Speaker 1: to be a sex worker. So I was walking down
Speaker 1: the street one day and I was with my ex
Speaker 1: husband at the time, and this super shady looking guy
Speaker 1: came up to me and he was like, it was
Speaker 1: actually on the right kind of around here, and he was, okay, um,
Speaker 1: are you interested in being in the adult entertainment and
Speaker 1: just just came up and asked you that, like I am,
Speaker 1: and like I felt like it was like a calling.
Speaker 1: You were discuss interested that was some Natalie Department shop,
Speaker 1: That's exactly what that is. And I was like, yes,
Speaker 1: he probably did. He was he surprised that you said
Speaker 1: that's so enthusiastically. I don't I don't even know, Like
Speaker 1: it was a very mean moment, and I don't remember.
Speaker 1: I don't remember like what his reaction was or anything.
Speaker 1: But he was like, follow me upstairs, and we went
Speaker 1: upstairs to his dungeon. And did you had your ex
Speaker 1: known your dream? Yeah? And he was Nobody in my
Speaker 1: life was surprised when I got into porn or something, um,
Speaker 1: but like this, So this guy actually ran the night
Speaker 1: shift of a dungeon, like an S and M dungeon.
Speaker 1: So I started training to become a dominatrix the next
Speaker 1: day and yeah, like it's it was. I'm not like
Speaker 1: really a sexually dominant person naturally, but it was. It
Speaker 1: was so eye opening and like I learned so much
Speaker 1: and it was like every day I felt like I
Speaker 1: was high because it was just like I'm learning so
Speaker 1: much and like it was so cool. So I did
Speaker 1: that for like a year, and then I met a
Speaker 1: girl who was stripping and I was like, oh, I
Speaker 1: want to try that. So I got into that and
Speaker 1: then from there I went on a radio show where
Speaker 1: I met a porn star and I was like, get
Speaker 1: me in please, And that was my inn. So it
Speaker 1: felt it was like a three or four year process.
Speaker 1: That sounds good though. That is like a nice gradual
Speaker 1: dip in your toe, totally sure you liked every step
Speaker 1: of the way, and then you work up to like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I see it as like graduating. Yeah, serendipitous. Actually, yes,
Speaker 1: I do want to be in a sex interesting. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like I looking back, I'm like so worried for myself
Speaker 1: because the now me would never have followed that guy anywhere,
Speaker 1: Like he was like literally missing teeth. So damn, I'm
Speaker 1: glad it worked out really well. Yeah, I think a
Speaker 1: little ballsier when like your husband's with you. That's true too, totally,
Speaker 1: like all everything came together, the stars aligned, he really did,
Speaker 1: and your husband never cared about No, he was very
Speaker 1: very cool about it, and I like we don't talk anymore,
Speaker 1: but I'm still like really thankful for him for like
Speaker 1: that part of my life because I think I became
Speaker 1: more comfortable with being like a slot with him, like
Speaker 1: he appreciated it. Yeah, it totally support system, and like
Speaker 1: he was the first guy that I was ever with
Speaker 1: that like didn't like shame me for my sexuality, Like
Speaker 1: I felt very appreciated and where you're like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I can be with a guy who doesn't make me
Speaker 1: feel worse about being sexually Like it was it was,
Speaker 1: It was just it really really really changed my life.
Speaker 1: So your divorce had nothing to do with the industry, No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: not at all. And and in fact, when we divorced,
Speaker 1: I wasn't even in porn. I was stripping, okay, And um,
Speaker 1: what we were talking about before when Christine Wattin was
Speaker 1: was your current husband you were telling me. I was
Speaker 1: telling you my dream of getting married and having my
Speaker 1: husband live in the same apartment building but in a
Speaker 1: different unit. And then you Lune Joan said, oh my god,
Speaker 1: that's my dream too, and explain to me you're living
Speaker 1: situations so we could tell everyone you're married. You're married.
Speaker 1: Now this is my second husband. Um, we have separate bedrooms.
Speaker 1: So we live in the same house, but we have
Speaker 1: separate bedrooms. But my ultimate dream is I heard once
Speaker 1: that that freed to Calo lived in her and her
Speaker 1: husband lived in two separate houses that were connected by
Speaker 1: a bridge. And to me, that's like the most romantic
Speaker 1: thing I've ever heard in my love because personal space
Speaker 1: is very important. I don't care how much I'm madly
Speaker 1: in love with you, want to fuck you all the time.
Speaker 1: Like I need my own thing. That's why I turned
Speaker 1: my closet into an office, and I was like, I
Speaker 1: need a space that's just mine. You don't go into
Speaker 1: put your things and like no one can touch it.
Speaker 1: And and also just like I don't know. I just
Speaker 1: like the idea of having my own space. Like it's um,
Speaker 1: and I think a lot of it is. I'm an
Speaker 1: only child. Also, I grew up in New York City
Speaker 1: with like in an apartment, so like, I think the
Speaker 1: space that you have is so valuable in New York
Speaker 1: because you have so little of it. So I think
Speaker 1: there's definitely a part of me that's like terrified of
Speaker 1: that going away, um, even living in l A. And
Speaker 1: I actually recently just got a place in New York
Speaker 1: and like, this place is totally my own because my
Speaker 1: husband's in l A. I was saying, is he going
Speaker 1: to be by coastal? Yeah? No, no, No, He's totally
Speaker 1: in l A. So like I'm kind of secretly, like
Speaker 1: not so secretly now that I'm saying it on a podcast,
Speaker 1: but like I'm I'm very like, oh, this is my
Speaker 1: apartment oasis. You have so many staycations. Yeah, but I
Speaker 1: I definitely I love being alone. I'm is your relationship
Speaker 1: with your husband monogamous besides the obviously work? Yeah? I
Speaker 1: love that you even asked that, because, um, it's so
Speaker 1: hard for people to wrap their head around it, which
Speaker 1: is normal, I guess because of you know, the way
Speaker 1: we grow up and stuff. But yeah, we are monogamous
Speaker 1: outside of porn um, so we do whatever we want
Speaker 1: for money. Yeah, um, and then but when we're at home,
Speaker 1: we're like the most normal, conventionally normal couple ever industry
Speaker 1: in effect. It. He totally understands it a whole different way,
Speaker 1: totally awesome, And I think he's also had one previous
Speaker 1: marriage in porn and he was with her for ten years,
Speaker 1: so he's super understanding of Like, like, I'm totally cool
Speaker 1: with whatever he does on set, but of course I
Speaker 1: have those days that I'm like, you're working with her again,
Speaker 1: and like it's totally like irrational and unjustified jealousy, but
Speaker 1: you know, it happens. It's normal, I think, to get
Speaker 1: a jealous and then like I draw the line in
Speaker 1: weird places, like if he goes to lunch with someone
Speaker 1: after working with them, I'm like, you did what? And
Speaker 1: then it's like, yeah, you're cheating. You ate the pussy,
Speaker 1: but you can't eat the sandwich exactly. I'm going to
Speaker 1: say exactly that, Yeah, what's your sex life with your husband? Um,
Speaker 1: it's pretty normal. I mean we've been married for five years.
Speaker 1: It used to be crazy. Um, so we met on
Speaker 1: importance that we met. We met on importance that on
Speaker 1: what was supposed to be a boy boy girl vaginal
Speaker 1: three way, and it ended up being my first double
Speaker 1: penetration scene because I was like so turned on by him.
Speaker 1: So he was in my ass and there was another
Speaker 1: gentleman in my pussy and we fell in love. That
Speaker 1: was very cute and also DP scares the goddamn day life.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have I wouldn't have done it if it
Speaker 1: didn't happen like that, Like I in fact, I never
Speaker 1: thought I would do anal on camera, and now it's
Speaker 1: like kind of like my specialty, I guess. But if
Speaker 1: it weren't for that scene, I would That scene changed
Speaker 1: my life because I went into it thinking one thing
Speaker 1: and it just ended up being something totally something totally different,
Speaker 1: and I it changed my mentality for everything. I was like, interesting,
Speaker 1: I'm going to start going into everything with an open
Speaker 1: mind now because I discovered that I love something that
Speaker 1: I wasn't even open to. Patty what Okay, So let's
Speaker 1: switch it to an anal prep and how to enjoy
Speaker 1: anal sex. It's all on the prep and you have
Speaker 1: to be turned on like so hard totally you get
Speaker 1: to the ass totally. And for me, I mean everyone's different,
Speaker 1: but for me personally, like the paranoia of getting clean
Speaker 1: was everything. Like once I once I got my system
Speaker 1: down to like get clean and like not ship all
Speaker 1: over everywhere, Like did you do that, I can totally relax. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I start, I start my prep twenty four hours
Speaker 1: before so um. So, Like I start and I use
Speaker 1: like a big gallon and a bag, and then I
Speaker 1: also drink this. Yeah, I drink this stuff called silium husk.
Speaker 1: And that's that's the secret. Like I am telling you.
Speaker 1: You get that so you can get out of you
Speaker 1: can get a trade our shows. It's totally all natural.
Speaker 1: It's like the fiber that's in meta mucil, but at
Speaker 1: the whole husks and you mix it in water and
Speaker 1: you drink it for like three days before you're gonna
Speaker 1: have anal sex. And what it does is like this
Speaker 1: is gonna get a little gross, just let's do it. Um.
Speaker 1: So it's a fiber, but like rather than just like
Speaker 1: giving you diarrhea and cleaning you out that way, what
Speaker 1: it does is like it kind of like goes through
Speaker 1: your system. And collects everything and compact. Yeah, so like
Speaker 1: well not even but like like once you enima it out,
Speaker 1: it's you don't have like all this like brown liquid
Speaker 1: and you it's it's almost like it's just solidified and
Speaker 1: just comes out that way. So you're good even if
Speaker 1: you're not gonna totally it's got colic once and I
Speaker 1: was like I love it. Yeah, So is it is
Speaker 1: the husk like where what I lis said? I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it's like in the smoothie aisle. It might be. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so it's like a powder that you mix with you.
Speaker 1: It's a powder, but it's more like it's they call
Speaker 1: it whole husks um. It's like flakes flakes, but it
Speaker 1: comes in a hand that looks like oatmeal. It looks
Speaker 1: exactly like fish. Perfect you're very good with analogy. But yeah,
Speaker 1: so it's it looks like fish food and it comes
Speaker 1: in a can that looks like an oatmeal can. And
Speaker 1: then do you eat regularly or totally regularly? Don't eat beats,
Speaker 1: that's my that's very specific. It looks like your asses bleeding, right,
Speaker 1: I learned the hard Yeah, yeah, yeah, I went to
Speaker 1: the er for bleeding after anal when I was damn it.
Speaker 1: I always think I love beats, and I always think
Speaker 1: I'm bleeding rectally. And then I'm like, no, I just say, beats,
Speaker 1: You're good, You're fine. It's good to tell the kids.
Speaker 1: So what else, what about what is the best way
Speaker 1: to prep physically for anal like right before the dick
Speaker 1: goes right in the butt? Um? I think I think
Speaker 1: for me, Like, so, when I learned how to have
Speaker 1: anal sex, I was having a lot of anal sex
Speaker 1: at home with my then gay boyfriend. Well, no, I
Speaker 1: shouldn't say that he wasn't gay when I was with him.
Speaker 1: I don't know. The thing is, I don't know about
Speaker 1: the answer. He well, you know what I was like,
Speaker 1: I have like I'm so I only watch gay porn.
Speaker 1: So I'm like super turned on. Why now because it's
Speaker 1: so anly and hot and masculine to me hot, oh
Speaker 1: my god. And I'm for me like as someone with
Speaker 1: like O C D. Like they're so clean, just because
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh they're so clean, that's it's great clean.
Speaker 1: So that's how I actually learned how to clean my So,
Speaker 1: so he was my boyfriend at the time, and I
Speaker 1: would I would suck his ass with a strap on,
Speaker 1: and I would beg him to do gay stuff like
Speaker 1: just just suck a dick, and he was like, no,
Speaker 1: not my thing. And I'm like, I guess I had
Speaker 1: to open maybe I don't know, but like but he
Speaker 1: taught me how to clean my ass and like he
Speaker 1: was the one who I guess essentially trained my hassle.
Speaker 1: So I think the trick was like to do it
Speaker 1: a lot of times in a small space of time,
Speaker 1: like uh so, like like I would suggest doing it
Speaker 1: like fifteen times in a month, anal, and I think
Speaker 1: that's like what, Yeah, anal, And I think that's what
Speaker 1: because my asshole feels very like, um, it hurt a
Speaker 1: lot those first twenty times, and then now it never lots,
Speaker 1: not that it never hurts your assholes flexible have to
Speaker 1: warm it up. Yeah, it feels very much like a
Speaker 1: muscle I trained, so I can open it up pretty
Speaker 1: easily now. Yeah, Like now I don't even prep before
Speaker 1: a scene because you're and you're having anal sex regularly
Speaker 1: enough that it keeps not even regularly enough. It's I
Speaker 1: think I just did it those times. It's trained, and
Speaker 1: I think it's I don't know for me, like when
Speaker 1: I'm watching porn, Like, I think it's hot when you
Speaker 1: can tell that the dick is going in the asshole
Speaker 1: for the first time that day. How can you take
Speaker 1: like it doesn't glide in so easily and maybe the
Speaker 1: ass isn't like quite so looped up. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just think it's hot when it's like that initial
Speaker 1: reaction to me is like really hot, Well, somebody experiencing
Speaker 1: a new sensation. Ship what is if you don't want
Speaker 1: me ask like, what's the size of the biggest dick
Speaker 1: that's been in your butt? Probably men dingo um, which
Speaker 1: I don't sounds big like the microphone girthyer, Yeah, whoa.
Speaker 1: Because I was at a pleasure chest, I took a
Speaker 1: Tristan Tiarmino had a class on tank and I was
Speaker 1: like Stephen was like, we're going love her and up
Speaker 1: she's awesome. And there was this toy in the store
Speaker 1: that was huge, and I asked one of the people
Speaker 1: and I was like, that's for your butt, right, because
Speaker 1: I think I did that again with you, Like I
Speaker 1: was like, wait, excuse me, does this go this goes
Speaker 1: in your rectum? They're like yeah, Like so people put
Speaker 1: that in their butt and it was the size of
Speaker 1: like bigger than this cup. Yeah, I know what you're
Speaker 1: talking about. Like like sometimes they'll have like a huge
Speaker 1: dildo like by the cashier, and you think it's a novelty,
Speaker 1: but it's not. That goes into Um, I find that generally,
Speaker 1: like the real size queens or men is what I found,
Speaker 1: Like just like from personal experience, like not trying to
Speaker 1: generalize or anything, but from personal experience, I have found
Speaker 1: that that like those toys, the people buying them. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like I mean I I'm I'm not really like a
Speaker 1: size person per se. Like when I'm watching porn, yeah,
Speaker 1: like I like to see big dicks, but like in
Speaker 1: my personal life, I prefer something a little bit more normal.
Speaker 1: That's good. Yeah, so um but I do find that
Speaker 1: I can fit more in my asshole than my vagina
Speaker 1: really so interesting. Wow is it feel better? So it
Speaker 1: doesn't necessarily feel better when there's a bigger dick in
Speaker 1: your butt? No, Okay, I would say something more normal
Speaker 1: feels better. Okay. I think average is averaged for a reason, right,
Speaker 1: because it's good. Like in theory, I'm like I love
Speaker 1: big dicks, and then like when I'm actually fucking I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh wait, actually I think I prefer yea yes, yes,
Speaker 1: have you read an anal orgasm? Yes? Okay, me too.
Speaker 1: I discovered it once with a vibrator, and I remember
Speaker 1: Stephen about it, and at the time he was dating
Speaker 1: story because that's when we first met and I so
Speaker 1: we got in this crazy conversation and I mentioned and
Speaker 1: he goes, what that's not. I don't know, I've never
Speaker 1: heard of and I'm like really, And then I looked
Speaker 1: it up and I still never heard of it. And
Speaker 1: then recently there was some article about anal orgasms and
Speaker 1: I'm like, dude, it's They're fun. It's totally a thing.
Speaker 1: I think my favorite is like even like put I'm
Speaker 1: not really a butt plug fan, but like having a
Speaker 1: butt plug in and then putting a vibrator against that
Speaker 1: buplugs and also masturbating with a vibrator with a tampon.
Speaker 1: It is pretty fun. I don't know that I've ever
Speaker 1: done that. Sometimes I'll just put a tamp on it
Speaker 1: like yeah, and like this is better. Well then it's
Speaker 1: like a mini dildo exactly, and it's tina. Tampon is tiny,
Speaker 1: but it's really interesting. It makes the vaginas are fucking
Speaker 1: nuts because you can have all these kinds of orgasms
Speaker 1: like in every tiny little and they're different from one
Speaker 1: another totally. And I still am confused and don't know
Speaker 1: how to Like, it's not like a button that I pressed.
Speaker 1: You have to feel it and figure it out. It's
Speaker 1: almost like something you can't put into words. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you just got to feel your way to coming. It
Speaker 1: is crazy how many different kind of orgasms we can have.
Speaker 1: I feel like guys have like two well, well yeah,
Speaker 1: and Steven and I just got into like, um, a
Speaker 1: couple of years ago, he got the narrows and because
Speaker 1: he wanted to explore it out because if there was
Speaker 1: like an instructional video on a porn site that he
Speaker 1: saw with a dude with an a narrow sin and
Speaker 1: you could see his dick was super hard. All he
Speaker 1: was doing was thrusting the air very lightly with the
Speaker 1: narrow sin and his dick was like pulsating. It was
Speaker 1: fascinating to watch. It was so hot. And then he
Speaker 1: finally had an orgasm without touching himself and I was like,
Speaker 1: we need to do that. Yeah, And it's crazy to
Speaker 1: watch a guy have an orgasm with a narrows in there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's so hot. Yeah, it's really hot. Oh god, I know.
Speaker 1: I'm like so attracted to I'm so attracted to dudes
Speaker 1: that are down. Yeah, that's so hot to me. Like
Speaker 1: the less boundaries the guy has, the more I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, you're so hot. Yeah. Like ironically, because
Speaker 1: a lot of guys we asked about like the stuff
Speaker 1: in the butt and they're like it's good. I'm not good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's nothing, you know what. My husband's like that and
Speaker 1: it's such a bummer, Like like, okay, so you asked
Speaker 1: him out our sex life and like we're what I
Speaker 1: meant is like we're very married, Like we're so normal
Speaker 1: and like you know, like I'm always like, well we
Speaker 1: should do something to like spice up our sex life, right,
Speaker 1: Like that's good to know that even you like and
Speaker 1: your totally and like. But he won't even let me
Speaker 1: finger his button. I'm like, how are we supposed to
Speaker 1: get anywhere if I can't even put my finger in
Speaker 1: your butt? Is it because of like a homo thing?
Speaker 1: Like no homo? He's I mean, I don't know, because
Speaker 1: he doesn't strike me as like a no homo kind
Speaker 1: of guy. Like he does he'll do double anal, you know,
Speaker 1: like on a girl. Like so like his dick is
Speaker 1: literally rubbing against another man's. Yeah, so, like he's not
Speaker 1: homophobic and like he has gay friends, and like it's
Speaker 1: it's not maybe just genuinely doesn't want to like always
Speaker 1: because it's like it's just because just in the same
Speaker 1: way as if you do like but stuff, it doesn't
Speaker 1: mean you are homosexual. If you don't like it, it
Speaker 1: doesn't mean like you're homophobic because a girl, if a
Speaker 1: girl doesn't want to do anal, then it's not because
Speaker 1: like I don't want to tell my straight boyfriend's but
Speaker 1: just because I think straight men are kind of dirty
Speaker 1: and it's like grosses me out, Like I have no problem.
Speaker 1: You can touch my buttle day because my butt is
Speaker 1: very clean. You can get a meal off my butt,
Speaker 1: like you really really could. But like I just like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just find no attraction And like
Speaker 1: if he asked me to, I would certainly be open
Speaker 1: to it, but he's not asking and I'm not asking him.
Speaker 1: I'm just not interested in that for him. You're right,
Speaker 1: I think I forget that a lot. That guy's abound,
Speaker 1: like they could say that, like I should respect men
Speaker 1: to remember, Yeah, you're right, You're totally right. Where is
Speaker 1: anything like I'm like what a pussy? Yeah, come on
Speaker 1: do it? And you're like, oh, I'm being every guy
Speaker 1: I on my no list because I am being like that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: sometimes those women we gotta remind ourselves that, like, oh,
Speaker 1: we should respect men as well. It's hard to remember,
Speaker 1: you know what. There's always a hum went on the
Speaker 1: Guys podcast, So Happy. Has anything ever gone like comically
Speaker 1: awry during a porn shoot, like like the dick, Like
Speaker 1: you go to bounce back on the dick, but it
Speaker 1: doesn't go in your vis it, hits the punches you
Speaker 1: in the taint and you're like, oh my god's not funny.
Speaker 1: Well funny looking back at it, maybe yeah, hindsight. Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: I was doing a scene with a guy and he
Speaker 1: caught on fire. He did, so we were doing a scene.
Speaker 1: It was actually four Wicked, but before I was signed
Speaker 1: with him, and we were having sex next to a
Speaker 1: lit hookah and he and and Wicked like a lot
Speaker 1: of times does these like really stylized shoots. So he
Speaker 1: had a mask on where he couldn't see out of
Speaker 1: there were no eye holes, and he was wearing like
Speaker 1: this weird like all this fabric and like it just
Speaker 1: caught on fire and then someone was like, oh, ship,
Speaker 1: you're on fire. And then it was you who put
Speaker 1: noticed he was on fire or it was not. No,
Speaker 1: I was in doggie, so my I was and I
Speaker 1: was also were looking the opposite. I was wearing this
Speaker 1: like really elaborate huge wig, so like I couldn't quite
Speaker 1: like even turn my head. It was like one of
Speaker 1: those scenes where it's like it's not the most fun
Speaker 1: to shoot, but like looks so you're doing something really cool,
Speaker 1: so it turns you on in that way kind of thing. Um.
Speaker 1: But yeah, so but he was such a pro. It
Speaker 1: was Tommy Gunn and he was such a pro that
Speaker 1: we put the fire out and finished the scene. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like if it were me, I'd be like, I'm so traumatized,
Speaker 1: I need to take a week to myself. And how
Speaker 1: many people are on a porn set um so wicked.
Speaker 1: It's usually like twenty people on a set we have, Yeah,
Speaker 1: but we have like a um, like our productions are
Speaker 1: pretty big. I don't know, I'm sure people do, but
Speaker 1: like you know, but also it's like how you know
Speaker 1: it's because at a regular day job sometimes like I'll
Speaker 1: get horny too. I'm sure it happens. I kind hope
Speaker 1: they do, actually, but like, um, I forget what I
Speaker 1: was gonna say. Sorry, the crew, you're it's very but
Speaker 1: it can be as small as like for a Gonzo shoot,
Speaker 1: which is actually like kind of the funnest kind of shoot. Um.
Speaker 1: Gonzo is like when there's no plot, no talking, like
Speaker 1: you do a little strip tease in the beginning, and
Speaker 1: then you get to it and that's it. That's super
Speaker 1: fun because like those are the sets where they're like,
Speaker 1: just have sex and we'll find you, like the camera
Speaker 1: will find you. And a lot of times that's and
Speaker 1: that's like what my husband shoots. And that's usually like
Speaker 1: you have the you know, the talent, so what however
Speaker 1: many people that is in the scene, and then you
Speaker 1: have the director who's very often also the camera guy,
Speaker 1: and then maybe like the girl that does make up.
Speaker 1: But it's a very small set, so there is professional
Speaker 1: makeup artists on set. Okay, not on every set, but um,
Speaker 1: and then a lot of people actually prefer to do
Speaker 1: their own makeup. I was wondering because I was like
Speaker 1: I was like is there like a porn look because
Speaker 1: obviously making porn is it a lot different to a
Speaker 1: major motion picture. Yeah, and it's totally skewed my like
Speaker 1: perception of makeup. Like it's like, how do they decide
Speaker 1: that's what? This is? What? Dudes long? Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: And it's and it's so like, you know how like
Speaker 1: the golden rule in fashion is like a blue outfit
Speaker 1: definitely not blue eyeshadow. In porn, it's like, oh, blue bikini,
Speaker 1: definitely blue eyeshadow. It's so like it's so like like
Speaker 1: what dudes think? Like I was gonna say though, because
Speaker 1: I did read this whole article in like one of
Speaker 1: those like throwaway mags that said, like men actually do
Speaker 1: love matching color, I would imagine. So yeah, very basic
Speaker 1: edge basement, such basic pitch. God damn, I think. And
Speaker 1: I see my husband doing it too, because he's a
Speaker 1: director as well, and it's like I think he'll be like,
Speaker 1: but she's wearing gold. Why is like why? Like he
Speaker 1: just doesn't get like things that don't match and coordinating
Speaker 1: versus actually match. Yeah. So yeah, and then with your
Speaker 1: with your contract, is there anything like in your contract
Speaker 1: with Wicked that says like you have to maintain a
Speaker 1: certain weight, or you have to maintain a certain physical
Speaker 1: appearance in some way your hair not so not technically no,
Speaker 1: there's nothing in my contract. Well technically, like my contract
Speaker 1: at this point is pretty much a handshake. Um. But
Speaker 1: because you're I know, you're a star. But like I I, um, yeah,
Speaker 1: like before I get my hair cut, for example, I
Speaker 1: do talk to my boss. And that's I don't not
Speaker 1: really I'm not coming at it from like a legal standpoint,
Speaker 1: but like just out of respect, because I do I
Speaker 1: do my look represent his brand, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: And like I it would be I'd be lying to
Speaker 1: myself if I said that, like, oh, I can look
Speaker 1: however I want to look, and you should still um
Speaker 1: allow me to be the face of your like you
Speaker 1: can't shave your head. Yeah, yeah exactly. And like as
Speaker 1: much as I you know, I'm a feminist and I
Speaker 1: believe that women should do whatever the funk we want,
Speaker 1: Like yeah, I think I'm being paid to represent Yeah,
Speaker 1: like I he hired me for a reason, and so yeah,
Speaker 1: I do talk to him before like I get any
Speaker 1: tattoos or um. That makes a lot of sense. And
Speaker 1: how like with weeny losing, losing and gaining weight. I
Speaker 1: don't know if like how your body is or if
Speaker 1: that's ever been brought up in your career. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's the thing I think about the most because you're
Speaker 1: so it's it sucks so bad, and I don't. I
Speaker 1: think it's a combination of porn and just Los Angeles, um.
Speaker 1: But like when I so growing up in New York,
Speaker 1: like I always wanted to be thicker, Like I grew
Speaker 1: up around like hot Puerto Rican girls with big gasses,
Speaker 1: and I was like just like eating like crazy, and
Speaker 1: I was always like, I can't be thick enough, and
Speaker 1: I do. I on a logical level, I still do
Speaker 1: believe that men enjoy when like I think men like
Speaker 1: when women eat, and I think they like like a
Speaker 1: woman with curves, And I don't necessarily think that like
Speaker 1: skinny is the ideal. I mean, of course, yeah, but
Speaker 1: it's what we're told. It's but it's what we're told.
Speaker 1: And like ever since I went out to l A
Speaker 1: and started porn, which those two things coincided. So I
Speaker 1: don't know which one it is or if it's a
Speaker 1: combination of both, but like now I'm constantly thinking about
Speaker 1: my weight and I'm like, oh, I can't be thin enough,
Speaker 1: and like I'm always on a new diet, I'm always
Speaker 1: working out, and I'm so so self conscious of my
Speaker 1: weight and I was never like that, and it I
Speaker 1: would say, I mean, I'm sure the porn istory has
Speaker 1: something to do with it. When we go to l A,
Speaker 1: I get a little depressed, like a little bit, just
Speaker 1: because it just feels like this competitive environment but I'm
Speaker 1: not even trying to compete. Even the fucking parking spaces
Speaker 1: are thinner. And then you've got to get be this
Speaker 1: in to get out of your car because you can't
Speaker 1: open the door very far. Yeah, and it's yeah, it's
Speaker 1: it's definitely like my my perception of like beauty has
Speaker 1: totally just like changed, and it sucks, Like I it's
Speaker 1: not what it's not how I think like logically, but
Speaker 1: I can't help but get wrapped up in it's hard. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it and it's it's crazy because like I I
Speaker 1: come here and like even at my so I have
Speaker 1: a new job at Barstool Sports. I should probably mention
Speaker 1: I also have a podcast. Let me just get that out.
Speaker 1: It's called KFC Radio. It's through Barstool Sports and you
Speaker 1: can catch me there. But like, so so now I
Speaker 1: have a full time job at Barstools, so I go
Speaker 1: to an office every day for two weeks out of
Speaker 1: the month when I'm in New York and like, well,
Speaker 1: you know, we'll just be like going through instagrams and stuff,
Speaker 1: and it's so interesting to me how much the standard
Speaker 1: of beauty is totally or not even the standard just
Speaker 1: like the what we consider beautiful is so different in
Speaker 1: and l A in New York. Like I'll see an
Speaker 1: Instagram model and be like, damn, that girl's hot, and
Speaker 1: she'll have like all fake everything, which I've grown to
Speaker 1: believe is beautiful. Um, and like all the guys in
Speaker 1: the office are like they're New York guys and they're
Speaker 1: like you, like, that's so not what I think of
Speaker 1: as hot, and like it's just it's just crazy to me,
Speaker 1: like how much l A has changed me. Yeah, well
Speaker 1: it's it's just you get one thing in l A.
Speaker 1: And I feel like with with beauty, like men especially,
Speaker 1: I think it's it's undermining men's capabilities of what they
Speaker 1: find attractive because telling men like you only think skinny
Speaker 1: women are attractive as bullshit, because there are men that
Speaker 1: love bigger, women that love like women of every variation, color, size, shape, anything,
Speaker 1: And it's like we are more diverse human beings than
Speaker 1: what ad industry is telling you. Yeah, and I think
Speaker 1: especially in l A, just because everyone is trying to
Speaker 1: morph into like one person. In l A, it feels
Speaker 1: like it does feel like we're all getting the same
Speaker 1: procedures and well everyone is slowly turning into like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think she's too, but then you hate one of
Speaker 1: the feature other people and her, you know her, you
Speaker 1: know sister looks like her, and it's and it freaks
Speaker 1: me the funk out because I'm like, I do think
Speaker 1: that's beautiful, but like one time, see your version of
Speaker 1: beautiful that's unique to you totally, and I wholeheartedly believe that.
Speaker 1: But I do find myself in l A just getting
Speaker 1: caught up into that. It sucks. And I think that's
Speaker 1: the thing I'm most I'm most excited to get away
Speaker 1: from that. Like, when I come here, it's going to
Speaker 1: give you some perspective. So, um, you've had this very
Speaker 1: uh good experience in the porn industry, and I know
Speaker 1: there are there's like half of feminists are very like
Speaker 1: pro sex worker, let's do this, And then there are
Speaker 1: other feminists who just think across the board it's a
Speaker 1: bad idea, Like what do you what is your what
Speaker 1: do you say to a feminist who says who speaks
Speaker 1: for you? Basically worker? I feel like that brand of
Speaker 1: feminism is like so harmful. And I mean, of course
Speaker 1: I say that because I'm on this side of it,
Speaker 1: but like I just think, to me, that's like not feminism, right,
Speaker 1: You're not accepting, You're not that you shouldn't be telling
Speaker 1: women what they should be totally, and like I completely
Speaker 1: if a woman wants to remain a version until she
Speaker 1: gets married or whatever, like I support that a percent,
Speaker 1: and I think they should support me to exactly. But
Speaker 1: aside from slut shaming, I think I think that a
Speaker 1: lot of a lot of the concern comes from like
Speaker 1: the like the hot girls wanted type of situation where
Speaker 1: there's a lot of mistreatment or manipulation of women. And
Speaker 1: do you I mean, I'm sure you know people and
Speaker 1: that that's the thing, Like I think it's I think
Speaker 1: it's equally as harmful to deny that that exists, because
Speaker 1: it definitely definitely does, and I definitely recognize that I
Speaker 1: have been so lucky in the like I've had the
Speaker 1: dream career. Um, everything has happened for me in a
Speaker 1: in a very very lucky way. And I anytime someone says,
Speaker 1: like a woman tells me they're thinking of getting into porn,
Speaker 1: I'm like, don't expect my career because five is so lucky.
Speaker 1: All the right things happened for me at the right time.
Speaker 1: I met all the right people, and that's not going
Speaker 1: to be the case, probably more probable than not. So
Speaker 1: what are like, what are some things someone looking because
Speaker 1: we do get letters every now and then about people
Speaker 1: trying to get into sex work, not not usually actually
Speaker 1: like porn performers, but a lot of people are interested
Speaker 1: in being like cam girls were stripping. So is there
Speaker 1: a kind of path that is safer to follow in
Speaker 1: your opinion? Yeah, definitely. I mean porn wise, I think
Speaker 1: it's smart to get with a reputable Asians and there's
Speaker 1: really only like five I'll give you guys the names
Speaker 1: like if if anyone ever asks, of course, um, and
Speaker 1: then like also what I try to tell people is like,
Speaker 1: I think it's really important to do porn for the
Speaker 1: quote unquote like right reasons and whether that be camming
Speaker 1: or any kind of sex work at all. And I
Speaker 1: think if you're doing it for the money, it's not
Speaker 1: worth it, Like it's just not enough money. Like people
Speaker 1: think we're millionaires and we're not. And you know, people
Speaker 1: in even if it were, like it's just not worth
Speaker 1: the price, like you're I've ruined my life doing porn.
Speaker 1: And as much as like it's brought me so many opportunities,
Speaker 1: there are so many closed doors for me. Now, I'll
Speaker 1: never be able to work with children, you know. Um,
Speaker 1: there's always going to be people who won't associate with me.
Speaker 1: Even on my podcast, like there I'm constantly coming across
Speaker 1: people who like just don't want to be on a
Speaker 1: show with me, for example. Yeah, and like and and
Speaker 1: I I can't knock it, Like if that's you know,
Speaker 1: what they want their brand to be, fine, like where
Speaker 1: like a high level politician or something. I would imagine
Speaker 1: like even if they have no problem personally with the
Speaker 1: point industry, like there would be too much backlash and
Speaker 1: of socially, society controls what individual people. So maybe they
Speaker 1: personally don't have a problem with it, but you know
Speaker 1: the fact that it will affect their life um so,
Speaker 1: like I think, to me, the right reason to do
Speaker 1: porn or any kind of sex work is just because
Speaker 1: you want to write and like and just no knowing
Speaker 1: that it's going to close a lot of doors for you,
Speaker 1: and if it's still worth it, do it. If you
Speaker 1: would do this for a normal paying, like a minimum
Speaker 1: wage job, then it's for Yeah, what I say, comedians, like,
Speaker 1: if there's if there is another any other thing in
Speaker 1: this world that you would want to do, do that instead.
Speaker 1: But if you only want to do comedy, I think,
Speaker 1: actually I know a lot of comedians and like, I
Speaker 1: feel like, if there's any two people that are so
Speaker 1: alike in this world, it's comics and porn stars. I
Speaker 1: think we get off on the same thing. I feel like,
Speaker 1: I think the way laughter feels to you guys is
Speaker 1: how we feel like creative and it's, um it's definitely
Speaker 1: like an attention thing. It's definitely like a gratification, like,
Speaker 1: um we I think we're feeding off the same thing.
Speaker 1: And um, I think there's an ugliness do it a
Speaker 1: little totally, there's a darkness, there's definitely a weekend we'll
Speaker 1: never be happy, totally totally. But also, um, I don't know,
Speaker 1: like I I find myself getting along with comedians the
Speaker 1: most because of that. I think interesting, I see our
Speaker 1: porn star is funny because in my experience, comedians are
Speaker 1: very good in bed. You are so fucking funny on
Speaker 1: social media. I love everything your Instagram account. I fucking
Speaker 1: love thank you. Your sense of humor is amazing and
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, that's so cool, thank you. Um But yeah,
Speaker 1: like I think I love laughing at myself and I
Speaker 1: think that's like what keeps me going? What else can
Speaker 1: you do? Do people ever say thanks to you on
Speaker 1: the streets like foul gross ship shockingly? No, wow, that's shockingly.
Speaker 1: I've had like a couple of bad experiences in public,
Speaker 1: But like, like I would even think before getting into porn,
Speaker 1: I would have thought a porn star like walking down
Speaker 1: the street at least one person a day would be
Speaker 1: like hor or whatever. Ye never, nothing like that has
Speaker 1: ever happened. Um So, and I got just people maybe
Speaker 1: being weird, like because I don't wouldn't necessarily yeah, I
Speaker 1: wouldn't necessarily think that they would yell horse sled at
Speaker 1: you because obviously they recognize you because they watched your
Speaker 1: poor Yeah, but more like I would think like, hey,
Speaker 1: you want to go upstairs and fuck or not even
Speaker 1: I think I think people have less balls in person,
Speaker 1: like obviously on the internet every single day, you know,
Speaker 1: Like but I I don't even I feel like that's great.
Speaker 1: I mean my therapist would disagree, but I feel like
Speaker 1: that just like rolls right off my back, Like I
Speaker 1: don't even notice that anymore. Maybe I'm just so jaded,
Speaker 1: But like when people say nasty things to me on
Speaker 1: the Internet, I'm like, Okay, you know, you realize it's
Speaker 1: coming in from a place because they're insecure and it's
Speaker 1: really not personal at all, and they're the well personal
Speaker 1: at all. They're they're the ones that end up looked
Speaker 1: like an asshole. Yeah, Like I think if someone did
Speaker 1: say that to me in real life, I think it
Speaker 1: would hurt my feeling same same. Yeah, I got I
Speaker 1: We've got I've gotten immun critin and I feel like
Speaker 1: it was always immune to it. But like for people
Speaker 1: say like gross nasty things you on the internet, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, it's just because they're sad. Well, I
Speaker 1: hope they feel stuff doesn't bother me. Yeah, curve, stuff
Speaker 1: doesn't bother me? What bothers me? Is women saying cruel
Speaker 1: things because it doesn't bother me. The words don't bother me.
Speaker 1: The fact that they feel that way and they don't
Speaker 1: realize how wrong they are bothers me because it feels
Speaker 1: like that's my I've spent it past three years just
Speaker 1: working so hard towards that with Christina in this podcast,
Speaker 1: and then I just feel like, what the funk am
Speaker 1: I doing? I'm just wasting my goddamn time that and
Speaker 1: so that's where that right, it's also just in raging
Speaker 1: I think when it's it comes something like that comes
Speaker 1: from a woman, Well, because we're pressing ourselves. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: it's just so it's like we already have so much
Speaker 1: against us, Like why do we have to do it too? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what I'm saying. It sucks Bush definitely stocks So
Speaker 1: where can we find you? Uh? You plug your show again? Yeah?
Speaker 1: So I'm on a show called KFC Radio. It's through
Speaker 1: our stools. It's not that job can talk you freend.
Speaker 1: The guy who starts did its initials Archaus. So that's
Speaker 1: where that came from. But every day I got asked
Speaker 1: like why are you whatever? Um, I'm also and then
Speaker 1: I shoot for porn for Wicked pictures. You can find
Speaker 1: them on Wicked dot com. Um, and I have two books,
Speaker 1: please read what I call The first one is called
Speaker 1: Insatiable and the second one is called Dirty thirty. And
Speaker 1: I saw you guys have a book coming out. It's
Speaker 1: so hard writing a book, but it's really fun. And
Speaker 1: what was it like, like co writing a book each? Right?
Speaker 1: We ended up splitting it up. Yeah, because the initial
Speaker 1: thing we were going to like kind of like each
Speaker 1: write a piece and then go back and re edit
Speaker 1: the other ones pieces. And then we sat down and
Speaker 1: we're like, we're just gonna we're different people, different writers,
Speaker 1: and we coincidentally wanted to talk about two different things.
Speaker 1: So we each have half of a chunk. Wow, that's all.
Speaker 1: And I love the title. Thank you. That was fun
Speaker 1: straight to the point. Yeah. I like that they let
Speaker 1: you do that. Yeah, was that a struggle, like to
Speaker 1: know they encouraged the word in the title podcast And
Speaker 1: that's why we knew like we were working with the
Speaker 1: right person like editing and stuff. Shout out to Hillary
Speaker 1: because she was like, yeah, call it that, that's right
Speaker 1: because she loved she was a fan of the podcast,
Speaker 1: so she already had this understanding and appreciation for what
Speaker 1: we did. And she got it and her name was Hillary.
Speaker 1: So we just had a gentle yeah, and is there
Speaker 1: anything else you want to add? R plug That's all.
Speaker 1: It has been a pleasure. It was just such a
Speaker 1: I'm such a huge fan of the show you that
Speaker 1: I'm would have put that up on my shell. Yeah, seriously,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. This has been Guys We Sucked
Speaker 1: the Anti spot Chinning podcast. We'll talk to you next week.
Speaker 1: Juisper inside my mind. You look you saying weakend thing
Speaker 1: the time your eyes you're drifting. Won't you tell me
Speaker 1: your lies? Come run away with me and will fly
Speaker 1: and you'll always go back to the people use it,
Speaker 1: But you'll never be free till you leave. So if
Speaker 1: you like what you see, won't you get in with me?
Speaker 1: Come a little closer. Maybe let's just be Yeah. Thank
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