Speaker 1: Welcome to Guys We Fucked. Guys we Guys we booked.
Speaker 1: I'm Christina, I'm Corren. We're sorry about last night, the
Speaker 1: Anti sluck shaming Podcast. I never stopped. Hey fuckers, welcome
Speaker 1: to another episode of Guys We Fuck. It's the Anti
Speaker 1: Slucking Podcast. I'm Corren, I'm Christina, and we're so happy
Speaker 1: because today's episode is brought to you by our friends
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Speaker 1: On Friday, May twenty six, Nacho Bitches happens as usual
Speaker 1: at New York Comedy Club that's co hosted by Blair
Speaker 1: Saki and myself. Showtimes eleven fifteen pm. Use code Nacho
Speaker 1: for ten dollar tickets. These shows are sixteen and up.
Speaker 1: We don't do a ton of shows that are that
Speaker 1: low age minimum obviously have to be twenty one to drink.
Speaker 1: Become party. It'll be a fun time. It's a good show.
Speaker 1: And then the next day, if you hadn't had enough,
Speaker 1: come to Glamoro Bus on Saturday seven thirty pm close
Speaker 1: to buy one Starling and myself a Zinc bar. If
Speaker 1: you're in the Los Angeles area, next month's Glamorous is
Speaker 1: going to be there. We're doing it Saturday j at
Speaker 1: the Comedy Store in the Belly Room a tense thirty
Speaker 1: So come hang out with us in both coasts and
Speaker 1: then come see us on the tour. Wait Oh it's
Speaker 1: not tonight. Wait, it's it's next week. Whoopsies, I said
Speaker 1: tonight for Vegas, but it's not. Oh no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I know. Don't worry. I know that we're not gonna
Speaker 1: be messed up. I know when we're gonna be in Vegas. Yes,
Speaker 1: this is very crucial, guys, Las Vegas, Nevada. It's a
Speaker 1: fun place. Maybe you don't live there, but you know what,
Speaker 1: maybe it's time to take a trip there. So we
Speaker 1: are going to be there May eighteen through the one
Speaker 1: at the crap Shoot Comedy Festival. It's amazing festival. A
Speaker 1: lot of great women are there, Tigna, Taro, Ali Wong
Speaker 1: Uh and then David tell Is not a woman but
Speaker 1: great comedian. Minneapolis Thursday, June one, we're gonna be at
Speaker 1: you in the Women's Club and then Milwaukee fry A
Speaker 1: June second. We're gonna be at the Papst Theater, Chicago, Illinois. Saturday,
Speaker 1: June three, we're doing two shows a Tellya Hall seven
Speaker 1: pm and ten pm. The comedy fests and Montreal, Canada,
Speaker 1: we're back at Just for last July through nine. This
Speaker 1: time we're doing the Guys We Fucked Experienced show we're
Speaker 1: doing the live podcast recording and we're going to be
Speaker 1: co hosting a couple of stand up shows. Please, especially
Speaker 1: the guys we Fox Experience and podcasts recording, buy your
Speaker 1: tickets immediately. Not only are they going to sell out,
Speaker 1: but also if the faster we saw these shows, the
Speaker 1: better we look. Yeah, make us look good, and the
Speaker 1: better mood will be in. So there you go. You
Speaker 1: don't want to see yell at you, We'll like do
Speaker 1: that anyway. If you're wasted, we'll fucking stand outside the
Speaker 1: door after our shows and talk to you for three hours.
Speaker 1: We just need to sell this ship out fast. We will,
Speaker 1: we have, we do, we do all the time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I like how I like said it was
Speaker 1: gonna make a bonus, Like we weren't going to do
Speaker 1: it anyway, but just we would would we would appreciate.
Speaker 1: You've only not done a meet and great once. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's when the audience was a big Yeah. If you
Speaker 1: vomit in or around the venue for the show, yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's alcohol induce obviously if you have a stomach
Speaker 1: bug or something, will will overlook that because people um
Speaker 1: or and if during the show multiple people fall while
Speaker 1: getting up because they are so drunk, we're not going
Speaker 1: to do a meeting. Great, that's just the only bound
Speaker 1: that we created, the only boundary that's not bad. That's bad.
Speaker 1: Uh oh man. The only personal thing I have is
Speaker 1: to tell everybody who's living in the United States to
Speaker 1: fucking please make sure you know when your midterm elections
Speaker 1: are and you can vote for senators and your House
Speaker 1: of representatives. Those are very important elections. And then if
Speaker 1: you vote for people who are pro uh you know,
Speaker 1: planned parenthood screenings and you know, being able to choose
Speaker 1: what you do with your own body, then we won't
Speaker 1: have the situation that we're in now, where we're fucking
Speaker 1: facing a really shitty healthcare bill that will funk over
Speaker 1: the pores. Right, but just I always also remember when
Speaker 1: times of a dress. You can get birth control from
Speaker 1: Canada on line. Word. You can get anything online, honestly, honestly,
Speaker 1: it's not good that it should be readily available to everyone,
Speaker 1: but it won't even if you don't have access to
Speaker 1: the internet. Go to the fucking library, go online, pay
Speaker 1: thirty five cents a minute, it's well worth it, and
Speaker 1: get yourself a stash of birth control, of condoms of
Speaker 1: something I mean, it'll be a bad day when condoms
Speaker 1: are no longer readily available in the United States. But hey,
Speaker 1: it could happen. Hey I'm not. I'm not. We only
Speaker 1: that out. It's possible, right, yeah, I just you you
Speaker 1: really do have control, like fucking hoard stuff, get it
Speaker 1: to poor people like I don't know, just start handing
Speaker 1: it out. You want a sandwich, how about a condom
Speaker 1: and some birth control instead of it'll be good. Uh,
Speaker 1: don't perform your own abortions, though I would, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I would recommend against that. That's do you know abortion?
Speaker 1: Getting a safe and legal abortion is actually less riskier
Speaker 1: than a fucking colonoscope, Like the risks that it entails
Speaker 1: are less than getting up. I mean that makes sense
Speaker 1: because you don't need that baby, but you need the
Speaker 1: colon I need even think of that. You know. That's
Speaker 1: all it takes to be a doctor. Do I have
Speaker 1: my degree yet? Yes? In doctoring. Who's hungry? During time
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Speaker 1: deserve it. And these following fifty names that I'm about
Speaker 1: to funk up deserve a huge thank you. Every one's
Speaker 1: favorite part of the podcast. You know, when I was
Speaker 1: talking to somebody, Oh, came to one of my stand
Speaker 1: up shows, and they're like, I love when you read
Speaker 1: the names. It's really funny because you kind of stuck
Speaker 1: at it, and I was like, Oh, I'm glad it's entertaining.
Speaker 1: Um guys. Our book comes out October. I'm really I'm
Speaker 1: really fucking excited for this. This is like I've got
Speaker 1: I got an intimate. I've probably got more intimate that
Speaker 1: book that I have. This podcast, well, we worked really
Speaker 1: hard on it, so hard, so I'll say that I've
Speaker 1: never worked so hard on something in my life, to
Speaker 1: be honest. Uh, it's really good and the following people
Speaker 1: have pre ordered it. Thank you so much. Emma Storn, Sabo,
Speaker 1: Ela Neely, Jamie Bennett, Alicia Never, Gillian Daniels, Page Somerville,
Speaker 1: Misty Salvador Pierce, Fireball Hillar Remolts, Yelkus Videl's bless You
Speaker 1: Jessica Sasher, Kira Goldsmith, Melanie Dereen, Tabitha will Fong, uh
Speaker 1: Don Holzer, Nora Kennedy, Betty Hodgens, Shannon Birch, Paul Babin,
Speaker 1: Babe Christian Hamilton's, Mary Matthews, Keeley laz Kate Olson, Stephanie Skis,
Speaker 1: Samantha gil Storm, Amber Goodwin, Annealine newcom Felicia Clifton, Bonnie Sharp,
Speaker 1: Carly Burnham, damn It, Danielle Builder, Erica Guerrero, Emma Jensen,
Speaker 1: Frank Krauss, Rachel Pillar, Michelle Sky, Troy Dalleus, christ in
Speaker 1: A Chung, Amanda Mueller pronounced Miller fuck Miller Man of Miller,
Speaker 1: Ashley God, damn It, Ashley Holman, Carly Baker, Kelsey pronounced
Speaker 1: Casey fuck, Casey Day. I didn't read. Are they writing
Speaker 1: to pronounce? Yes? I just copy paste them because you're
Speaker 1: getting into it later after you've already said the name.
Speaker 1: I got it. Yeah, I didn't do it. I just
Speaker 1: they did it. But you know, sometimes you try your
Speaker 1: hardest and it's not good enough. Okay, Um, thank you, Casey,
Speaker 1: Megan z Barts, Emma Thompson, Dear Dream Messina, Rebecca Todd,
Speaker 1: Scarlett Dante, Aaron Woods, Sophia Beyond, Connie, Clara Rhodes, and
Speaker 1: Alicia Voit. Thank you, I like, how excited do you
Speaker 1: get when you get an easy name? Thanks Kate, Thank
Speaker 1: you so much. Also, thank you very much to our
Speaker 1: Turro are Alano, Maria Lasco, Kim Ostlin, Does, Tony Riposo,
Speaker 1: Rebecca Palmer, Danielle King, Barrett elvajord, Uh Marraba, Ratliff, Brian Sheehy.
Speaker 1: You guys are just working with him, Carly Serra Strauss,
Speaker 1: Kim Collins, Katie Fox, Brianna Nice, Rachel Taylor, Katie Taylor,
Speaker 1: Chelsea Wells, Mary Nemick, Alison Montambeau, Uh, Jackie Garcia, Alana Edwards,
Speaker 1: Alicia overdoorf Catlin, Patrell, Ariel Gautierrez, Kelly Kanner, Sarah McKay,
Speaker 1: Amanda car Well, Melanie Heiser, Megan Hull, Katie A. Sorrow,
Speaker 1: Nicole Rizzo, Isaac Delga, Dio, h Crofts, Lily Belvedere, Hannah Satler,
Speaker 1: Jane Hutch, Jordan Reyes, Penelope r Venitez, Kayla hoff Setter,
Speaker 1: Kirsten Stone, Lucy Roberts, Samantha McFarlane, Natasha Collins, Claude Castro,
Speaker 1: Claire McCarthy, Fiona Smith, Melissa Cropper, Lucy Barnhardt, Jessica Baker,
Speaker 1: Kate Conti, and Ashley Allen. I accidentally gave you a
Speaker 1: lot of easy names one day. I'm just gonna give
Speaker 1: myself all the basic ass names. There wasn't, I mean
Speaker 1: there was, I mean there was. Get all the card
Speaker 1: ones you're probably just there was some of these fucking
Speaker 1: Harry Potter ones. And here I wouldn't know based off
Speaker 1: of how well you read that. Well. I was a
Speaker 1: little um hydrated from this coffee that I don't normally drink,
Speaker 1: so I couldn't really get enough spit. I feel like
Speaker 1: it wasn't my best work, but I appreciate your support,
Speaker 1: but it sounded like it was. If you guys want
Speaker 1: email us, uh, and you do. But if you want to,
Speaker 1: if you don't sorry about last night show, Gmail dot
Speaker 1: com is our email. UM, we're going to read some
Speaker 1: of those. This first email, the subject line is I
Speaker 1: won't call her a slut, but I want to girl. Hey,
Speaker 1: Karen and Christina, I started listening to your show three
Speaker 1: years ago when I was eighteen years old, and I
Speaker 1: can't tell you how much you've both helped me navigate
Speaker 1: being a young woman who was proud to say that
Speaker 1: she is sex positive, a term I didn't even know
Speaker 1: existed before listening to your podcast. It's not real. Sorry,
Speaker 1: that being said, I am having trouble lately being that
Speaker 1: sex positive, non sleut shaving person because of the following situation.
Speaker 1: I'm currently twenty one years old and I have been
Speaker 1: dating my boyfriend, who was twenty five, for nine months.
Speaker 1: I love him a lot. The sex is fantastic. We
Speaker 1: laugh until our stomachs hurt on the daily, and it's
Speaker 1: just all around a good time. However, about two weeks ago,
Speaker 1: we were hanging out and I got a little drunk.
Speaker 1: He had already fallen asleep and I was awake keeping
Speaker 1: myself busy. I ended up on his phone after mine
Speaker 1: died and found something that I didn't want to find
Speaker 1: in his snapchat. Wow, we're on his snapchat? Fine died
Speaker 1: his off the charger and then I just used his
Speaker 1: his phone and I was like, I guess I should
Speaker 1: go on my snapchat. Wait, this isn't mine, it's his. Whoops.
Speaker 1: Let me take a moment to say that. Oh, but
Speaker 1: I've never gone through the his or anyone else's phone,
Speaker 1: digging for reasons to be mad I have. I had
Speaker 1: never had any reason to suspect anything. He doesn't even
Speaker 1: keep a pass code on his phone. I mean that
Speaker 1: doesn't mean ship let alone ever acted like he was
Speaker 1: hiding every anything. I completely trusted him. I was drunk
Speaker 1: and not really thinking. In his snapchats, I saw messages
Speaker 1: between him and a girl that were pretty sexy, stuff
Speaker 1: like you turned me on, or I wish you were here,
Speaker 1: or her talking about how she was masturbating. This is
Speaker 1: dumb for so many reasons, one of them being who
Speaker 1: the fox saves messages on Snapchat? The all point is
Speaker 1: to disappear good point ballots a ballot point like anyone
Speaker 1: you could do that. I should say that we are
Speaker 1: not in an open relationship, so I wake his ass up.
Speaker 1: We get into an argument, and I leave long story short.
Speaker 1: We took a little bit of time and then talk
Speaker 1: things over. He told me that he had never met
Speaker 1: her in real life and that she was one of
Speaker 1: his sister's friends that started contacting him first. She did first.
Speaker 1: He told me that this was the only time that
Speaker 1: they have ever sexted, and that it was just a
Speaker 1: single conversation that I had seen, which was honestly pretty
Speaker 1: short and not that scandalous in my personal opinion, I'm
Speaker 1: okay whatever. Um, all right, we decided to work on
Speaker 1: a on stuff as a couple. I felt it in
Speaker 1: my heart that this was a good decision between us
Speaker 1: because I told him that I may mess up in
Speaker 1: the future in some way as well, and hope that
Speaker 1: we would also. He would also try to hear me out.
Speaker 1: So that's basically saying I might cheat on YouTube. So
Speaker 1: let's figure this out. Let me just say that throughout
Speaker 1: the experience, I have been so careful not to blame
Speaker 1: her or slut shame her. It can be really easy
Speaker 1: to want to be mad at this girl, but ultimately
Speaker 1: she's not necessarily the one at fault. You are correct.
Speaker 1: It is my boyfriend who I need to deal with,
Speaker 1: and my boyfriend's promiscuity is my problem, not hers. Some
Speaker 1: of the other people I've talked to about this have
Speaker 1: been quick to call her names, and I have even
Speaker 1: corrected them and told them that it is not her
Speaker 1: fault and that my boyfriend was ultimately the asshole in
Speaker 1: this situation. For you, that this was me trying to
Speaker 1: be a sex positive woman who doesn't put down other
Speaker 1: women for their sexuality and lifestyles. Seems like you real
Speaker 1: hard though. Yeah, fast forward, you know I get it.
Speaker 1: I totally get it. Fast forward to last weekend. Things
Speaker 1: have been good, I'm feeling a lot better. And then
Speaker 1: I got drunk and decided to check his phone for
Speaker 1: the second time ever, noticing a pattern. I know, this
Speaker 1: is a really unhealthy behavior that seriously I'm going to
Speaker 1: work on personally. In my defense, I think I was
Speaker 1: still just a little paranoid. I wanted to see how
Speaker 1: things were when I have just followed up and asked
Speaker 1: him to his face, my bad. What I found was
Speaker 1: that she had been messaging him incessantly, commenting on anything
Speaker 1: on many things that he would be posting, and d
Speaker 1: m n him all the time. Most of it is
Speaker 1: pretty innocent things like wow, you look really good in
Speaker 1: this picture, or asking him about his day. But it
Speaker 1: honestly seems a little bit desperate to me. And a
Speaker 1: few too many winky faces if you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess you mean that she put too
Speaker 1: many winky faces. And my boyfriend's defectual Yeah, and my
Speaker 1: boyfriend's defense I didn't see him playing into it. When
Speaker 1: he responded, they were very brief. I later talked to
Speaker 1: him about it and told him that he needed not
Speaker 1: to talk to her at all, a rule I made
Speaker 1: that I feel a little bit uncomfortable about, because I
Speaker 1: would feel much easy. It would feel much easier if
Speaker 1: I just felt like I could trust him instead of
Speaker 1: trying to keep women away from him. But I still
Speaker 1: don't feel like I can. It just seems like she
Speaker 1: won't leave him alone, and I'm worried that she might
Speaker 1: provoke him again. Not her thing all I've been thinking
Speaker 1: about all day. I've been thinking about those names, and
Speaker 1: I just don't want to call her that. I just
Speaker 1: don't want to call her, but really do want to
Speaker 1: call her. I still believe that if he sucks up again,
Speaker 1: it is his fault, not hers. I just don't understand
Speaker 1: why this girl is doing this and really wish you
Speaker 1: would stop. I'm not afraid of cutting it off with
Speaker 1: my boyfriend, and I'm even thinking that I should, because
Speaker 1: my gut tells me not to believe him. This is
Speaker 1: the first relationship that I've been in since my boyfriend
Speaker 1: of three years killed himself almost two years ago. And
Speaker 1: I just don't know where my insecurities are from just
Speaker 1: being sucked up previously and and where the actual problem
Speaker 1: in this relationship begins. Too many red flags. Thanks. First
Speaker 1: of all, I'm so sorry that that that happened. That's really,
Speaker 1: that's fucking horrible. I'm sorry for your loss. I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think you bury the lead there. I think I
Speaker 1: mean that we don't find out until the end that
Speaker 1: that was your last relationship. So I'm sure that has
Speaker 1: left you, know, like a void in your heart right basically.
Speaker 1: And I think whenever you feel the need to implement
Speaker 1: a rule in a relationship that you can't see this person,
Speaker 1: that to me indicates there is not there's no trust
Speaker 1: because I've I've been in situations where I really wanted
Speaker 1: to call the girl horror, but that's because I was
Speaker 1: mad and jealous. So she's not being a horr she's
Speaker 1: not being a slut, she's not being whatever you're saying
Speaker 1: she's being. She might know that he has a girlfriend,
Speaker 1: she might not. I have no idea, but the point is,
Speaker 1: you guys need to talk through things before you pick
Speaker 1: up his phone on phone that is not a good habits.
Speaker 1: Get into well, her behavior isn't slutty to begin with it.
Speaker 1: It's desperate for attention, which is which is a much
Speaker 1: different thing. And sometimes women will use their sexuality to
Speaker 1: get attention, but it's not. But it's not that they
Speaker 1: are a slut. It's that they are seeking validation, and
Speaker 1: those are two completely different things. It's just like the
Speaker 1: like the mechanism that you're using to get the attention
Speaker 1: that you want. Basically, yeah, and I mean you're you're young.
Speaker 1: You're twenty one. That's really young. But I've I've had
Speaker 1: There was one girl and Steven's life. I talked about
Speaker 1: this on the podcast before that. I just had a
Speaker 1: twitch about she. But she wasn't messaging him or anything.
Speaker 1: I mean she was, but I don't know what it
Speaker 1: was saying because I didn't look because that's his business.
Speaker 1: But they were friends. They were friends, but not really.
Speaker 1: She was just really hot, like a really hot, like
Speaker 1: goth blonde hot. I don't exactly what you're talking about,
Speaker 1: h and um, and I don't know. I just had
Speaker 1: a twitch. I had a twitch. It was weird. And
Speaker 1: then Stephen was like, well, do you just not want
Speaker 1: me to hang out with her? Or not that good
Speaker 1: of friends, it's not a big deal. And I was like, no,
Speaker 1: you know what, that's bullshit. Don't don't. You should never
Speaker 1: have to not hang out with somebody because I feel insecure.
Speaker 1: I need to get the funk over that. Um. But
Speaker 1: with the messages and stuff, it's a little weird. But again,
Speaker 1: I think that if if he's going to continue talking
Speaker 1: to her, she just talk to him about it, and
Speaker 1: if he doesn't stop, then there's a trust thing going on.
Speaker 1: I but also him him like exchanging nudes, I don't
Speaker 1: think that's okay, But it's flirting. I don't flirting him, Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I've learned all the time. I don't think flirting on
Speaker 1: social media and private messages okay. Like if you're at
Speaker 1: like if you like, are at a bar and run
Speaker 1: into someone cute and have a flirt taster the conversation,
Speaker 1: then walk away and never talked to that person again,
Speaker 1: and don't exchange information. I think that's okay. For me.
Speaker 1: Flirting with someone that you ow in real life and
Speaker 1: there's a connection to on social media is not okay,
Speaker 1: But I mean everyone has different rules. For me, the
Speaker 1: reason I think he's responding is is that of courtesy
Speaker 1: because this is one of his sister's friends. Like, you know,
Speaker 1: if one of my brother's friends was flirting with me,
Speaker 1: which has definitely happened, but not when I was in
Speaker 1: a relationship. Uh, you know, there is some kind of like, uh,
Speaker 1: courtesy that has to be extended only because this is
Speaker 1: someone that's going to be like in your life, you're
Speaker 1: gonna see again. Possibly, So I think the fact that
Speaker 1: you well, I mean, it's bad that you checked the
Speaker 1: phone again, but the fact that you did and you
Speaker 1: saw that she's keeping messaging him and he's being really
Speaker 1: curt I think that's a great sign. That's a sign
Speaker 1: that he didn't really realize what he was doing was
Speaker 1: so hurtful or bad, and he has adjusted his behavior.
Speaker 1: So I mean, like you know, and also like desperation
Speaker 1: is never sexy. So it's like if she wants to
Speaker 1: be all swim fan and like constantly message him, like,
Speaker 1: I don't think he's gonna like that anyway. Let her
Speaker 1: dig her own grave. Uh. And the reason she started
Speaker 1: doing it incessantly, I'm guessing it is because he stopped responding.
Speaker 1: So it's great all around. I don't think there's a
Speaker 1: probably here. But if you feel in your gut moving
Speaker 1: on that. You know, no matter what, you can't rebuild
Speaker 1: this trust, then yeah, you do need to separate yourself.
Speaker 1: And I'm sure you know there's a lot of stuff
Speaker 1: that you're dealing with from your former relationship as well.
Speaker 1: So I don't know if you've ever talked to anyone
Speaker 1: about it. Mean, that's like a huge thing to have
Speaker 1: your significant other take their own lives. That's a huge thing.
Speaker 1: And maybe if you haven't properly dealt with that, that's
Speaker 1: going to carry over to every relationship you have until
Speaker 1: you fully deal with it. And sometimes taking a break
Speaker 1: for yourself is the best thing, um. And so you
Speaker 1: can break up not because that you don't you don't
Speaker 1: trust them, just because you need time for yourself. And
Speaker 1: this is not an ideal relationship for you. You know,
Speaker 1: it doesn't have to be. There doesn't have to be
Speaker 1: like one reason, Like you can just be like, you
Speaker 1: know what, I need some time alone. I really like you.
Speaker 1: It's not about the squirrel, It's just kind of about me.
Speaker 1: Could it totally fine? Kuldos you too for just catching
Speaker 1: yourself and understanding that, because I wish that all women
Speaker 1: at least catch themselves and be like you know what,
Speaker 1: that's shitty to call our slut. And I'm just doing
Speaker 1: it because I'm mad. Yeah, I get wanting to, but
Speaker 1: uh really, in the end, you're just let's shaming yourself, right.
Speaker 1: I don't know how old you are? You sound. I
Speaker 1: was like, you're pretty, I sound you sound young. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So it's like if you you know, especially if you
Speaker 1: have that that inkling that you need, you need to
Speaker 1: break up that young like usually just go with your
Speaker 1: gut on that one. You know, if you're thirty one
Speaker 1: different story. Just suck it up and you realize they
Speaker 1: don't want to be alone. Yeah, you don't wanna be
Speaker 1: alone forever? Come on, what's what's your value? Yeah? Come
Speaker 1: on Jesus Christ. All right. This next email is called
Speaker 1: my husband's friend is racist and I don't want to
Speaker 1: go to his wedding. She said, don't say my name.
Speaker 1: Don't say my name. I won't And what if I
Speaker 1: just said her name? Hey, fucker's. I've been a fan
Speaker 1: for a while now and follow you guys on Twitter.
Speaker 1: I know you do. Just love love love what you
Speaker 1: guys do. Your podcast has made me laugh and cry
Speaker 1: and get angry and take action. But above all, it
Speaker 1: has made me feel like I'm not alone in the
Speaker 1: crazy times we are living, and that there are more
Speaker 1: like us out there trying to change things. That was
Speaker 1: a good entry anyway, I wanted your opinion on the
Speaker 1: following little problem I have. I'm an immigrant. I was
Speaker 1: born in Argentina and raised all over the world. I
Speaker 1: have never lived more than seven years in the same country.
Speaker 1: I speak four languages, and I'm proud as funk of
Speaker 1: being from nowhere and everywhere. At the same time, despite
Speaker 1: living in New York, probably the most international city in
Speaker 1: the world, I have been yelled go back to Mexico
Speaker 1: by a douchebag who heard me speaking Spanish in the
Speaker 1: phone with my parents. Damn wish I could have explained
Speaker 1: to them that many countries speak Spanish and not everyone
Speaker 1: south of the borders Mexican anybody that's going to say that,
Speaker 1: but I just couldn't. Yeah, I hear your girl. Um.
Speaker 1: I've also been harassed at the border by agents with
Speaker 1: Hispanic last names, asking how much money I was sending
Speaker 1: back to my poor parents, which, by the way, they
Speaker 1: are not and I'd be living a much more comfortable
Speaker 1: life if I stayed home than I am now. I
Speaker 1: bet she, But with women being murdered every eighteen hours there,
Speaker 1: I had to leave. But that's for another email. Good
Speaker 1: to know a lot of facts in the same it's
Speaker 1: a really good reason to leave. In New York, I'm
Speaker 1: at a man of my dreams. We swiped right on
Speaker 1: each other madged had a great first date and we're
Speaker 1: inseparable since that day. He proposed in Argentina and gave
Speaker 1: me a ring with the colors of the flag, so
Speaker 1: I can always have my roots with me. That's darling.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. We got married three times. I know,
Speaker 1: I know we are crazy, and I can legit say
Speaker 1: I have never been this happy before in my life.
Speaker 1: He gets my craziness, loves my parents, and celebrates my culture.
Speaker 1: We have started including traditions from the places I grew
Speaker 1: up in our lives and making them our own. But
Speaker 1: it turns out my husband has a really racist high
Speaker 1: school friend. He has been kicked onto Facebook multiple times
Speaker 1: for the things he posts. His group of friends kind
Speaker 1: of roll their eyes at the ship he texts to
Speaker 1: the group and brush it off with quote, well, that's
Speaker 1: just the way Paul is. That's not his real name,
Speaker 1: don't worry. Recently, Paul got engaged and invited us to
Speaker 1: his wedding. I laughed when we got the rs v
Speaker 1: P and said, well, we can throw this invitation out
Speaker 1: since we are definitely not going. But my husband stayed
Speaker 1: silent for a bit and then was like, well, he's
Speaker 1: my friend, why would we not go. I still can't
Speaker 1: believe he is a asked me to go and be
Speaker 1: as planning on going. He's married to an immigrant, a
Speaker 1: brown Latina immigrant immigrant on a visa program that might
Speaker 1: get shut down and get me deported. His friends post,
Speaker 1: his friend posts ship about people like me all the time,
Speaker 1: and I'm supposed to show up with a smile to
Speaker 1: his wedding. I am tempted to go and speak to
Speaker 1: him only in Spanish to see what happens, or remind
Speaker 1: everyone that the wall and the band we keep talking
Speaker 1: about will keep lovely people like me out. But mainly
Speaker 1: I just want to be able to get through to
Speaker 1: my husband and tell him it really fucking hurts to
Speaker 1: go be surrounded by people that hate me and he
Speaker 1: should just be more supportive. I get this dude with
Speaker 1: his friend when they were thirteen year olds, covered in
Speaker 1: pimples and playing PlayStation all weekend. But one of the uh,
Speaker 1: one of the uh one of the people I think
Speaker 1: here there's a word missing grew up to be an
Speaker 1: asshole and the other one didn't. So how do I
Speaker 1: get that through? Gross? Yes? Ha ha ha um okay,
Speaker 1: putting on the wedding invitations just white? Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: I think this. I really like this email. And I
Speaker 1: think we all have a person in our lives who
Speaker 1: has like one quality that makes us my least favorite
Speaker 1: word cringe, but we keep them in our lives for
Speaker 1: one reason or another. I certainly have friends who are
Speaker 1: not always shining versions of humanity, but I like them nonetheless. Um,
Speaker 1: I related, I'm I have people in my life one
Speaker 1: you met who not who like? Who's racist? Yeah, praise
Speaker 1: pretty racist, right, And it's and it's hard and it's
Speaker 1: really hard for people to under to understand and and
Speaker 1: and there you know are people say, well, if you
Speaker 1: associate with those people, you're racist. And it's just like,
Speaker 1: I don't know the same way that I don't think
Speaker 1: we should kind of just like this is a weird comparison,
Speaker 1: but it's the same way I think we shouldn't just
Speaker 1: like shut out pedophiles and be like go figure that
Speaker 1: for yourselves. I could make it. Feel the same way
Speaker 1: about racist I think it's not great. I certainly do
Speaker 1: not tell right racist behavior around me. Anytime someone says
Speaker 1: something racist, I call them on it. But I don't
Speaker 1: a lot of people say if someone's racist, I don't
Speaker 1: talk to them anymore. I don't have that's not gonna
Speaker 1: help the problem though. It's not going to fix the problem,
Speaker 1: and it's not going to enlighten them to realize that
Speaker 1: people of other races can be great and their skin
Speaker 1: color has nothing to do with who they are as
Speaker 1: a human right. I think it's actually really beneficial to
Speaker 1: have someone who's more progressive be a friend to a racist,
Speaker 1: because it's like, obviously there's someone who is kind of
Speaker 1: just like thriving on hatred all around. So me shutting
Speaker 1: them out and hating them for even though me my
Speaker 1: hatred would be for them being racist, I think it's
Speaker 1: fueling the fire more than it's helping to put it out.
Speaker 1: I think it's I really just think um to keep
Speaker 1: exposing them to different things, to talk to them, to
Speaker 1: try to figure out what in them is making them
Speaker 1: that way, especially if they're marrying a woman she's marrying
Speaker 1: a woman who is a race that he makes fun.
Speaker 1: No no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: it's okay. So she she is an immigrant, her husband
Speaker 1: is white, and his friends with a guy who's married.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, but Paul the racist, Okay, now he's Mary.
Speaker 1: I miss that. Yeah yeah yeah, yah yeah, no no no.
Speaker 1: So she is hurt because her husband is white and
Speaker 1: but but he's married to an immigrant, and she's like, well,
Speaker 1: how can you be friends? But you know, and also
Speaker 1: it's like he's got to stand up though to Paul racist.
Speaker 1: Asked Paul if Paul is doing things that are racist
Speaker 1: in his presence, absolutely, But I don't think someone's wedding
Speaker 1: is the time to go in and make it make
Speaker 1: a stance. No, um. And I also think that if
Speaker 1: you feel truly feel uncomfortable, um, you can talk to
Speaker 1: your husband and just be like, listen, I don't feel comfortable.
Speaker 1: I really don't want to go to this wedding. I
Speaker 1: would never stop you from going to the wedding of
Speaker 1: a friend, but can I please just sit this one out.
Speaker 1: That's your husband's opportunity. He can make it like an excuse.
Speaker 1: He can say you're sick he can say you have
Speaker 1: to go to Argentina and do immigrant things. He could say, yeah,
Speaker 1: he could say, you have to go back to Mexico
Speaker 1: to pay your poor ass pair earn't some money. Like,
Speaker 1: I think that's fine if you want to make some fact.
Speaker 1: That's like the significant others like I think you do
Speaker 1: have you you both have to lie for each other
Speaker 1: when you need to. I think that's part of being
Speaker 1: a relationships. Since could be seen as a statement. Also,
Speaker 1: it's totally okay if he goes, but really, uh encouraging
Speaker 1: the next time this Paul guy's not his real name,
Speaker 1: but uh says something in his presence or in those
Speaker 1: group text messages, it's really he should address that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, I gotta set this text message out because
Speaker 1: I I don't I'm not a part of I don't
Speaker 1: feel this way about people. Uh. And it's and it's beyond,
Speaker 1: it's beyond being married to someone like you shouldn't you
Speaker 1: know whether you're married to an immigrant, you know an
Speaker 1: immigrant or you don't. You shouldn't have fucking treat people
Speaker 1: like this like it doesn't matter. He shouldn't have to say, well,
Speaker 1: I'm married to an immigrant. People just shouldn't be talking
Speaker 1: about this beings period. Um. So yeah, yeah, just I
Speaker 1: wouldn't Just I just wouldn't be so mad at your husband, Like,
Speaker 1: you know, that's someone childhood and having a bond and
Speaker 1: a kind of a connection to your youth. It's important.
Speaker 1: And so this this guy, you know, even though he
Speaker 1: kind of sucks, is important to your husband for one
Speaker 1: reason or another. And keep in mind, he knew this
Speaker 1: guy a lot longer than you knew you. So I
Speaker 1: think that's just, you know, important. So voice your husband
Speaker 1: your feelings, go or don't go. I think your husband
Speaker 1: should respect your decision either way. Um, but yeah, I
Speaker 1: just don't. I feel like there's very few things that like,
Speaker 1: very few singular traits that make me shut people out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I I mean, and I have friends or I
Speaker 1: have I I know men who are fucking misogynist, sexist. Sure,
Speaker 1: I have a few of them. But I'll go when
Speaker 1: if there's an opportunity to hang out and that person
Speaker 1: is there, I actually go because I kind of want
Speaker 1: to be like, you know, women don't suck and I'm
Speaker 1: going to prove that and I try. Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: I think I think it's really good and I think
Speaker 1: anytime you see someone go through like a really significant
Speaker 1: change in the way they feel about a large group
Speaker 1: of people, it's because someone close to them in their
Speaker 1: lives has been the exception to this vague rule they've
Speaker 1: been keeping the whole time. So it's like, I know
Speaker 1: that a lot of groups, like a lot of minorities,
Speaker 1: are like, well, it's not our job to teach people,
Speaker 1: and it's not. But if you want the world to
Speaker 1: be better, sometimes you gotta suck stuff up and do
Speaker 1: some hard work for some ignorant assholes that are walking around.
Speaker 1: And that's that. Um, that's the biggest bumper sticker, long
Speaker 1: bumper sticker. Um. Alright, guys, today's guests, we're really excited
Speaker 1: to have him. We've been wanting to have him on
Speaker 1: for a long time. He has such an interesting life.
Speaker 1: Many moms, the most moms, more moms, and I've ever
Speaker 1: when I know. He's a wonderful stand up comedian. Uh,
Speaker 1: he's been to rehab and he runs a lot of
Speaker 1: great shows in the New York City area. If you
Speaker 1: ever see them posted, please check them out. Please welcome
Speaker 1: the biggest She keep it spicy, like, oh bang, got
Speaker 1: me so high? If your whole we all that green
Speaker 1: walker all and like being sucked up like the whole day. Man,
Speaker 1: we can shut it down. She didn't put it, man,
Speaker 1: she came him out of town. Show me how you
Speaker 1: had to pass me the boat out the milk in
Speaker 1: this point. She got the cocko bus, she got the
Speaker 1: Coco pups, she got the Cocoa bus, she got the
Speaker 1: cokeo bus, she got the Coco bus, she got the
Speaker 1: Cocoa bucks. And I want to beat it. She wand
Speaker 1: up hockey like hockey like hockey like, she wand up,
Speaker 1: get hockey, Parker. I think, okay with Lucas, I'm going
Speaker 1: so many. I like that you waved. That was nice.
Speaker 1: That was a nice touch. Um. We get you know,
Speaker 1: sometimes we'll get bullet points because we know we both
Speaker 1: know you. Um. But your bullet points of like things
Speaker 1: that you can talk about with sex stuff are amazing. UM.
Speaker 1: My favorite one is you got a razor stuck up
Speaker 1: your ass. Yeah. But all right, let's just yeah, let's
Speaker 1: just hop right into it, all right. So I was
Speaker 1: I was a virgin. It was it was a virgin,
Speaker 1: and I was I was trying to lose my virginity
Speaker 1: on the internet. What yeah, how do you lose your
Speaker 1: virginity on the internet. I basically wanted Craigslist and said, Hey,
Speaker 1: anyone want to take my virginity? Anyone want to suck
Speaker 1: me for free? And that's the difference between men and women.
Speaker 1: Women can sell their virginity guys, it's like please, But
Speaker 1: that's also like it seems like still a bad ye
Speaker 1: because it's for free. But then also some woman has
Speaker 1: to have sex a dude who's never had sex before. Oh,
Speaker 1: I would love to take some of the virginity. I
Speaker 1: would have done it lucas anyway. So what happened is
Speaker 1: I put it on Craigslist and then I got probably
Speaker 1: a hundred messages from guys. Did you reply to any
Speaker 1: of them be like, oh no, would you specify you
Speaker 1: were looking for a woman? Yes? But they were all
Speaker 1: being so nice? Are you? They were just like we
Speaker 1: could put on we could put straight porn on, like
Speaker 1: we're like, close your eyes, it's all the same. Just
Speaker 1: very nice guys. Right, But but then what did you
Speaker 1: get a hundred messages from guys? You start feeling pretty
Speaker 1: I know, right, And so I start like kind of
Speaker 1: like messaging them back. A couple of them back just
Speaker 1: to see what it's like, you know, selectively do the
Speaker 1: cute ones. Yeah, of course I didn't. I'm gonna go high,
Speaker 1: highest caliber I can get. Absolutely, So I'm thinking to myself,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I've always thought I was straight, but like
Speaker 1: I don't know it. So, like I tried all kinds
Speaker 1: of things. I tried masturbating, like like male gang bangs
Speaker 1: I did. I tried all the power of suggestion, and
Speaker 1: like it turns out like if I just touched my
Speaker 1: deck got so it doesn't matter what is on the screen,
Speaker 1: Just touch your dick just like this, like Poka. But
Speaker 1: like you know what I mean. If I'm mastering at
Speaker 1: all to anything, you can masturbate to anything. But do
Speaker 1: you even need something on or can you just masturbate
Speaker 1: like to life for your thoughts? Yeah, exactly what I
Speaker 1: can just do nothing meditation coming, okay, Right, So I go, okay,
Speaker 1: So that's not a thing of a way of figuring
Speaker 1: it out. So I was like gay the gay guys
Speaker 1: like like but stuff I don't know. Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: that's with the official release from the l t Q,
Speaker 1: I gay guys like stuff, right. I saw that in
Speaker 1: a press packet during Pride it's all about momo berr.
Speaker 1: But so I try, I try, I try, like a finger,
Speaker 1: like two fingers your own Yeah yeah, but up, I
Speaker 1: feel like that's different because men should be fingering their assholes.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, because corectal stimulation would still feel good. It's
Speaker 1: a pot of gold up your butt. You lucky alright? Anyway,
Speaker 1: go on, two fingers. I try my plunger. Wait, wait,
Speaker 1: stuck a pun drop your butt? I stuck at the plunger.
Speaker 1: It was it was a plastic one like splinters. Did
Speaker 1: you put something on the end or just just that
Speaker 1: just prety in you? You clean the toilet and then
Speaker 1: you're like, I'm sticking some pants. Well did you clean
Speaker 1: the handle though, because that's there's a lot of germs
Speaker 1: on that. No, I was. I was in a weird
Speaker 1: manic frenzy. I might be gay, you know, well, I
Speaker 1: gonna be gay with an infected butthole. Yeah that's not good. No,
Speaker 1: it was not smart. So I do that and then
Speaker 1: I take like a break for like two weeks because
Speaker 1: I'm like that, I'll know that was weird. How far
Speaker 1: did you go up? Oh? Man, way too? There was
Speaker 1: some blood on the plunge. Man this is a good
Speaker 1: way to start in this. I knew this is going
Speaker 1: to be a good story. Oh my god. So I'm
Speaker 1: gonna take a couple of couple couple weeks. My hold
Speaker 1: are you at this point? And when you were fingering
Speaker 1: yourself where you're moving the fingers around where you just
Speaker 1: sticking them up? Um, I was trying to like do
Speaker 1: what I thought a cock would feel like, so I
Speaker 1: kept on doing it the yeah yeah they back and
Speaker 1: forward back like okay. So two weeks go by, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm not doing that plunger thing again. That was a mistake, right,
Speaker 1: So I tried to fingure this again. I'm like, that's
Speaker 1: kind of interesting, and I'm looking I'm again it's like
Speaker 1: I'm manic. Friends, it feels like a manic the whole time, right,
Speaker 1: because I'm like, what am I doing? So look over
Speaker 1: my counter and Gillette at that time had one of
Speaker 1: those vibrating razors, remember that thing. I feel like we're
Speaker 1: about to wait, wait wait, Steven has one, like but
Speaker 1: it's it looks like an actual razor, but it has
Speaker 1: like a button on it and it goes, yeah, it shakes,
Speaker 1: which is just really stupid because it's like Oh my god,
Speaker 1: why do you need a razor that shakes in your hand?
Speaker 1: You have blades next to your face. True, I think
Speaker 1: it prevents razor. B I'm not sure. They say it's
Speaker 1: going to make it closer, but like I think it's
Speaker 1: there's no there's actually googled it. There's no proof that
Speaker 1: it vibrating makes the closer. Oh, it's good to know
Speaker 1: that Gillette Fox over men with their bullshit marketing too. Yeah,
Speaker 1: beauty industry just continually makes things up. I was thinking
Speaker 1: about this the other day. There's like eight thousand new
Speaker 1: ellipsticks introduced every week anyway. So I flipped the handle,
Speaker 1: I go vibrating, right, vibrating is what people do? I
Speaker 1: mean women, women. I don't know women's sex choice. I
Speaker 1: have no idea what men's sex always are I really like?
Speaker 1: So I just like, right, you stuck it in. I
Speaker 1: stick it. I stick the handle. Bade you love sticking
Speaker 1: handles in your asshole handles? Yeah, I stick it in
Speaker 1: my butt, And and I'm like, I don't. I don't
Speaker 1: think this is really what I like at all. Right,
Speaker 1: I don't think gay men like that either. I don't
Speaker 1: think any man or woman or child would like that
Speaker 1: so vibrating. I'm like, uh no, I don't think so right,
Speaker 1: And I pull it out and the cap and the
Speaker 1: battery come out. I try to grab it, and you know,
Speaker 1: it's like things in Walmart where you grab it and
Speaker 1: it slips out of your hands. You know, like those
Speaker 1: things that like you're sitting in line, you're waiting for
Speaker 1: line tore like blue, and you grab them in the
Speaker 1: just move out of your hand. Oh like like a kid.
Speaker 1: Think yeah, Like it looks like a log at a jelly,
Speaker 1: but it's contained in a bag or whatever. The thing
Speaker 1: was it the thing was the thing was so loose
Speaker 1: that every time I tried to grab it, it just
Speaker 1: went up the whole razor, not the razor, just the
Speaker 1: cap with the battery part in it, not the bladding,
Speaker 1: the blade in a little part of it, and then
Speaker 1: the whole handle. It's just which probably was loosened because
Speaker 1: of the plunger. To be honest, maybe buttles are elastic,
Speaker 1: are pretty pretty good. I think your butthole had recovered
Speaker 1: by that point. So so then what happened. So I'm
Speaker 1: freaking out right because I'm like, am I going to
Speaker 1: have to go to the hospital? And he still might
Speaker 1: be gay on top of it. Yeah. Yeah, you didn't
Speaker 1: solve your problem your question, right, And I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, so I'm panicking, right, and I'm like
Speaker 1: trying to poop it out, but I can't poop it
Speaker 1: out right, So it's like in there, there's no touching.
Speaker 1: It swallowed a razor handle with your ass. It's gone
Speaker 1: through the looking glass, right, So I I don't know
Speaker 1: what I'm doing, right, And I'm like and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to go to hospital. I'm like, I
Speaker 1: can't go to the hospital. I don't have any money, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've heard of people get things stuck up there butt
Speaker 1: and that's you're one of those guys specifically. And so
Speaker 1: I go, I have zero money. This is why universal
Speaker 1: health care is so important everybody. I kind of really
Speaker 1: mean that. So I'm like, because I'm like, do I
Speaker 1: have to call my mom? Do I have to call
Speaker 1: my mom to ask her for money to get the
Speaker 1: thing out of your butt hole? Yeah? I'm like, So
Speaker 1: turns out maybe I don't think I'm gay, but I
Speaker 1: definitely think there's this thing in me and it's not
Speaker 1: gaynes it's a razor handle. Oh my god. What I
Speaker 1: do was go and I google it? Right? What did
Speaker 1: you google? What? I lost something in my box? How
Speaker 1: does I get it? I'm like, am I okay? And
Speaker 1: it's just a bunch of cat means, just put it
Speaker 1: on Yahoo answers. Just a lot of nice dudes seeing
Speaker 1: people and they it just basically says, you're probably fine,
Speaker 1: it'll come out, right, Okay, it'll come out. Someone was
Speaker 1: like that battery might not though it might not come
Speaker 1: out triple a battery. It goes inside of you. That's
Speaker 1: basically right. That's mostly most triple batteries are very tiny,
Speaker 1: but they have like battery acid and so like it
Speaker 1: would just be floating around your body. It was you
Speaker 1: are charged up because any this is this I don't
Speaker 1: know anything about where, because if something goes in your asshole,
Speaker 1: like where's the farthest that it could end up in
Speaker 1: your body? Because I mean there's there's tubes and stuff here.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't it's not like it's just like
Speaker 1: floating around your bloodshed well your because your your anus
Speaker 1: would go backwards into your and connect to your stomach. Right,
Speaker 1: So we never probably got there. Do we know what
Speaker 1: happened to this battery. Yeah, okay, thank god? Still looking
Speaker 1: forward today? Well, I was. I was truly curious, like,
Speaker 1: what is the farthest something can get if you insert
Speaker 1: it rectily? And I I don't think it's that far,
Speaker 1: is the answer? No, I don't think so yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: you an answer in a second. Keep talking. The thing
Speaker 1: that I was scared was was my body acid was
Speaker 1: going to melt the battery acid and then melt the
Speaker 1: battery and then it was going to explode inside of it.
Speaker 1: Did the internet tell you this was this? Your own mind?
Speaker 1: This was a person when I had asked exactly what
Speaker 1: I had, so it must be true. Was it Jeez
Speaker 1: as well as nice and around anymore? Okay? It was
Speaker 1: a great doctor. But yeah, so they said it was
Speaker 1: going to be fine. The moment, a lot of people
Speaker 1: were just like, go to the doctor, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: but then there was one person I was like, fine, right,
Speaker 1: you were like, who's pooring? Also on the internet? Yeah exactly, okay,
Speaker 1: and then so but you never saw the battery again.
Speaker 1: It took two days. Oh and then you finally shoot
Speaker 1: it out. Okay. I was worried, But also I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't know that stomach acid is strong enough to
Speaker 1: uh take a part of battery. I would check that.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's true. Well, yeah, I have no idea,
Speaker 1: but I know that stomach acid can like I mean
Speaker 1: over the course of time. Sure, sure, swallowing a battery
Speaker 1: it wouldn't be good. I don't think so. Well, that
Speaker 1: was my concern. I was hoping that it would have
Speaker 1: gone out of your body by then. Yeah. Wow, I'm
Speaker 1: glad you're okay, Lucas. Oh my god, how did you
Speaker 1: learn about sex? You have two mars? Actually I have
Speaker 1: two moms on my birth certificate. Actually have four moms
Speaker 1: because did your mom get divorced? My mom's got divorced
Speaker 1: when I was seven. More mom's more fun. So I
Speaker 1: don't know, it's divorce moms. It's different. So yeah, when
Speaker 1: I'm seven, my mom separated and so I had to
Speaker 1: go between the households. Okay, so you between one? And
Speaker 1: then did they get did they start dating people right away?
Speaker 1: Almost immediately? Like you know, that's how lesbians do it.
Speaker 1: They're moving quick. Yeah. And where you were you adopted
Speaker 1: or were you one of them? Were like, I'll get pregnant.
Speaker 1: I'm artificially inseminated out of Kathy, but you said this
Speaker 1: a lot. You're so you're artificially inseminated and Kathy. And
Speaker 1: do you have any siblings? I have my sperm donor
Speaker 1: has a son. Do you have a relationship with your
Speaker 1: sperm doughs? My mom's like one of my mom's closes friends.
Speaker 1: Oh you're straight straight? Okay, this is so fascinating. What
Speaker 1: is that? What? What that's fascinating? What do you? I mean,
Speaker 1: but that's obviously all you know. So it's not weird
Speaker 1: or different to you or what is it where you
Speaker 1: treated differently? Where you did they? When did they tell you, like, hey,
Speaker 1: your parents are gay. I know a lot of your
Speaker 1: friends have a mom and a dad, but we're cooler.
Speaker 1: And when I lived in New York, it was fine.
Speaker 1: It felt like there were a lot of gay families
Speaker 1: kind of like maybe not like that many, but there
Speaker 1: was enough. Because I say, this was a while ago.
Speaker 1: Your parents were pretty progressive. I mean, were they legally married?
Speaker 1: They because I was like, I don't think they know
Speaker 1: you couldn't get Yeah yeah, I was like I was like,
Speaker 1: was I missing something? So when they got divorced, like
Speaker 1: they just separated, it was what was their situation. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm actually in the first ten in the state of
Speaker 1: New York to have two women on my birth car.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's so cool. So your birth gets
Speaker 1: like a collector's card or something. So like the moment
Speaker 1: I turned, I don't know, like five or six moms
Speaker 1: went to the courthouse the day became legal and got
Speaker 1: and like and saw My mom was like, you could
Speaker 1: have been the first, but it's you were in the first, Okay,
Speaker 1: So they like they wouldn't even accept two two moms
Speaker 1: on the birth certificate until gay marriage was legalized. They
Speaker 1: that went way way later, way later, getting marriage just
Speaker 1: way later than that. The being able to have two
Speaker 1: women on a birth certificate was just a and that's
Speaker 1: that was. That's was up to the states individually until
Speaker 1: the Supreme Court had that decision. So New York is
Speaker 1: more liberal going, yeah, did they Was there a moment
Speaker 1: where they kind of because no other parents, straight parents
Speaker 1: don't have to do this, But was there a moment
Speaker 1: where they were like, hey, Lucas, like we're gay and
Speaker 1: this is what we do and it cool. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: feels like it was like the moment I knew it was,
Speaker 1: I was already pre like I knew, like it was
Speaker 1: like it wasn't like I remember this it down. It
Speaker 1: was just like this is you have two moms, right,
Speaker 1: And I feel like it was just explaining me again
Speaker 1: again and again when I was younger, but that was
Speaker 1: always your reality. Yes, exactly, Okay, cool, what's it like
Speaker 1: being raised by two moms? That sounds awesome? Sounds like
Speaker 1: a nightmare to me, alright, So it depends it like
Speaker 1: it really like sometimes it was like one it was
Speaker 1: it was they were they Because I was the early
Speaker 1: early beginning of this, I had a lot of pressure
Speaker 1: on them to like make a normal kid like societal
Speaker 1: familial we were the pressures. Didn't want kids. They like
Speaker 1: there was this like thing. There were people who were
Speaker 1: like gays can have kids. If gays have kids, they're
Speaker 1: gonna become deviance. And so because couples were adopt kids
Speaker 1: together for such a long time and it's like, shut
Speaker 1: the funk up. But this is like the first legal
Speaker 1: on like on Paver, this is all eyes. Cathy is
Speaker 1: a has a doctor in sociology of law and him
Speaker 1: is has a MSW and therapy. So there is a
Speaker 1: lot of like them undering understanding like nature like all
Speaker 1: the like therapeutic and then all the sociological standpoints of
Speaker 1: what's going on. They were perfectly prepared as to lesbians
Speaker 1: to raise a child then yes, if you like. But
Speaker 1: also they also they're like almost have been vendetta. They
Speaker 1: like they were like feminists, burn braw feminists like they
Speaker 1: had like we're gonna raise a you know, I mean,
Speaker 1: we're gonna raise a kid the right way. Were they
Speaker 1: anti men? They I don't know if they were anti men.
Speaker 1: They would never admit if they were not. To you, well,
Speaker 1: maybe they change, you know, the moment everything we're gonna
Speaker 1: it's crazy amazing feminist. And I'm like, all right, we'll
Speaker 1: make him a feminist, actively creating the patriarchy right here
Speaker 1: in this lesbian about So, my mom has a lot
Speaker 1: of guy friends, like some of her best friends from
Speaker 1: her childhood or right her from her she's not from
Speaker 1: her childhood. She doesn't really have any friends like she
Speaker 1: has friends from her college years. Basically, we're not gonna
Speaker 1: hold that against her that they're all there's guys in there.
Speaker 1: So she likes men, like she's like, all right, I'm
Speaker 1: I think it's more about their political standing totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah, well,
Speaker 1: I mean it's especially as it means today. Yeah, did
Speaker 1: they give you a sex talk? They gave me a
Speaker 1: sex talk? But by then it was way too late.
Speaker 1: Was it after the razor? It wasn't af the razor,
Speaker 1: but it was like it was like middle school. Oh,
Speaker 1: how is that way too late? When you know that
Speaker 1: everyone else is straight, you gotta like you find out
Speaker 1: they find the first person that makes you go, what's
Speaker 1: the difference. So you had already gotten this sex talk
Speaker 1: from some one of your straight friends, like someone someone
Speaker 1: who had straight parents. Friends like, oh, you got I
Speaker 1: got the info? What was it? What info did you get?
Speaker 1: Was at the right info? You know that it's a sin.
Speaker 1: And I was like, I mean just because lesbians don't
Speaker 1: have had r sexual sex, I mean I still think
Speaker 1: they have a pretty good grasp on what's going down.
Speaker 1: They could tell you more about the clip than you
Speaker 1: have could find out for yourself. Really, and you call
Speaker 1: your mom's you call them mom wanting mom. You were
Speaker 1: like Kathy and Kim like you just said, Well, it
Speaker 1: kind of became very easy because when they got separated,
Speaker 1: it became mom, mom mom. When you're at there, and
Speaker 1: then they have their partners partners and Max. Okay, Max
Speaker 1: is a woman that I was like, no one no
Speaker 1: one went back to ye And so does do your
Speaker 1: your mother's get along after the separation? Like now is there?
Speaker 1: Like you guys been the holidays together on one We
Speaker 1: never spend time. They never'll meet up together, but they
Speaker 1: if they were, if I was ever going to get
Speaker 1: married or anything, they would be they would all be there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's nice. They went like they would message each other
Speaker 1: like if I was doing bad or something or um
Speaker 1: and how did you you lost your virginity after rehab?
Speaker 1: Would you go to rehab for um? Name it? I
Speaker 1: was like what I was like, why didn't you go
Speaker 1: to rehab for I'm what they call polis substance abuser?
Speaker 1: Oh what's that? I did not know this about you?
Speaker 1: The fancy word for real fucked up. Yeah. I don't
Speaker 1: like being addicted to things, but I like being high constantly.
Speaker 1: Oh that's a conundrum. So what I would do is
Speaker 1: like I do like I would do like heroin for
Speaker 1: a week, right, and then I would stop And then
Speaker 1: I'd smoke meth for a week. What are you doing
Speaker 1: the week of my first just drink? Wait? You would
Speaker 1: do heroin one week and met the next, and you
Speaker 1: wouldn't be addicted to the heroin if you're doing it
Speaker 1: for a whole. I would get like, I would start
Speaker 1: getting a little bit sick, and then I like no,
Speaker 1: And then you get like mad that that your body
Speaker 1: was doing that and clinging to the substance. Is this
Speaker 1: Is this a better tactic than just doing heroine straight
Speaker 1: on straight? It seems like it might be. Yeah, a
Speaker 1: little variety, little little chocolate. I think it's the best
Speaker 1: because it got me sober the quickest, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? And I was not doing good? How which
Speaker 1: drugs did you do? Like? Everyone's literally every drug? Which
Speaker 1: was your favorites? I was? I was really in the
Speaker 1: Benzo diaspens. What's that designs? Vallium colon, Child's play? Not
Speaker 1: the way I was taking up? Yeah? Everything always do
Speaker 1: sar bank killers? Okay, okay, what else? Um? So I
Speaker 1: did all the prescription speeds, the dextergens, the adderalls, the
Speaker 1: riddle lends, the concert as the day Toronto's uh always existed?
Speaker 1: Were you just buying these? Or how are you getting?
Speaker 1: How you get all those drugs? You know, I'm resourceful?
Speaker 1: You know. I just know, you just know people like
Speaker 1: your friends. I just I was like at age fifteen,
Speaker 1: I was like in in with who like every drug?
Speaker 1: Those are all my buddies by then. But your friends
Speaker 1: who were fifteen, they were older. I was a punk.
Speaker 1: Rocket was a serious question, what at fifteen makes you
Speaker 1: want to do that amount of drugs? I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: thirty one and I'm like just getting to where I'm like,
Speaker 1: maybe I should just do heroin. I was very don't.
Speaker 1: It's a lot of ship to do. I think I
Speaker 1: thin I would be yeah, yeah, that's a ball are
Speaker 1: way to go out. Yeah, But truly were you? Were
Speaker 1: you something missing into your lifts? Were you? What was happening?
Speaker 1: Super mad at my and my family for the lesbian stuff.
Speaker 1: Well my mom got kind of famous. Oh yeah, all right,
Speaker 1: we didn't We don't know. I didn't hear that when
Speaker 1: I was like when I was at seven? When when
Speaker 1: when I was seven my mom moved to Laramie, Wyoming
Speaker 1: And then a couple of years later, Matthew Shepard wrote
Speaker 1: The Larmie Projects Katherine Connolly, who was played by Gene
Speaker 1: Garoffalo and the Laramie Project movie and is the very
Speaker 1: very highly desired character to play in the Tony Award
Speaker 1: winning play is My Mom Way very headline Lucas call
Speaker 1: your mom. No, this is this is why Lucas too
Speaker 1: drugs for so long because things like this happened where
Speaker 1: they were talking to him and then they wanted to
Speaker 1: talk about his mom. We're very interested in you, Lucas.
Speaker 1: Is that? Why is that? So? If you according to
Speaker 1: my One man show, but like oh my God called
Speaker 1: I hope it's a play on the Laramie product or
Speaker 1: an anus notes called standing, Oh, you missed a great opportunity.
Speaker 1: You should have called it the Lara me. I would
Speaker 1: have been fucking amazing. I would have been there every night.
Speaker 1: So so what what was the feeling that of attention,
Speaker 1: seeking attention or not getting you know, that's that was
Speaker 1: one of the driving forces. And also being fifteen is
Speaker 1: a fucking crazy thing. Anyway, I just I was just mad.
Speaker 1: I felt like I was like like I was saying,
Speaker 1: mom knew a gay kid who was murdered, and then
Speaker 1: someone wrote a play about exactly, No, my mom didn't
Speaker 1: know Matthew. My mom took all of her students to
Speaker 1: all of the court hearings and then like had all
Speaker 1: the political commentary in the play. Okay, so that's so
Speaker 1: she'd be in The Advocate and she's on Fresh Air,
Speaker 1: and I mean that was kind of nice. Locus was
Speaker 1: kind of like a great person. That's the problem is
Speaker 1: that not I think I am, but you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, like that when when you were like taking
Speaker 1: about like just being in the shadow of like but
Speaker 1: it's not like what I your mom, Like, I can't
Speaker 1: imagine what it's like to have like a mom who's
Speaker 1: just like a babe, like a stunning hot woman. I
Speaker 1: don't I probably, I don't know. I have a weird
Speaker 1: thing with that. Well, I mean, you know this is
Speaker 1: I mean it's like I always feel bad for Elvis's daughter,
Speaker 1: and like I totally understand why she was like making
Speaker 1: out with Michael Jackson on the MT. But you know, okay,
Speaker 1: so you're doing drugs because mom's and lgbt Q. You also,
Speaker 1: I got told at a very early age my mom
Speaker 1: was like, just the heads up, you have a drug
Speaker 1: You're gonna have a drug problem. Probably really they both did.
Speaker 1: They both have my grandfather, all my uncles, and this
Speaker 1: was on the side of the mom who gave birth
Speaker 1: to you. Raging alcoholics that she was going to be
Speaker 1: the one to give birth to you or did your
Speaker 1: other mother have coin flip. I've always wondered who how
Speaker 1: welcks into that decision. It's spun a spoon. I think
Speaker 1: maybe it was like one's first one second, so they
Speaker 1: could both get the experience of childbirth. Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: that's fair, but not to you. Yeah. Oops, right and
Speaker 1: Lanny sperm donor so many names, eode. You guys came
Speaker 1: to my one man show, you would have seen the charts.
Speaker 1: You don't need the better publicist. I didn't even know
Speaker 1: this happened. I would have been there. Yeah. I don't
Speaker 1: have an agent, and i'll have a manager, and I
Speaker 1: don't have a publicist. Here, someone helped, Someone helped. Lucas Connelly.
Speaker 1: I have a book almost finished. He has a famous mom.
Speaker 1: If you hire him and her, it can be a
Speaker 1: duo package. I'll get right there. Forward. That's a good,
Speaker 1: that's good. He should get a more influential person. And
Speaker 1: then um, okay, so the drug how long were you
Speaker 1: doing drugs from age fifteen age eighteen? And then what
Speaker 1: was the moment where you were like gorehab oh, I
Speaker 1: got stopped I didn't. I didn't choose this get stopped
Speaker 1: by the pope. I got arrested twice. What did you
Speaker 1: have on you when you got arrested? First time? Fireworks
Speaker 1: we had done? Those were next. So you were in
Speaker 1: a state where fireworks were illegal. Yeah, we burned down
Speaker 1: two acres. Oh that's shitty. Yeah, my goodness, we were
Speaker 1: on the cover newspaper. Yes, you wouldn't have done that
Speaker 1: your mom. Okay, so the first time and then what
Speaker 1: happened second time? Would you have on you zero point
Speaker 1: zero one micrograms of weed? I tossed my everything and
Speaker 1: they found like a cleaned pipe with some residue on it.
Speaker 1: But so did they look at Oh, last time we
Speaker 1: arrested me at a firework. This time he has a
Speaker 1: marijuana pipe with a little bit of marijuana in it.
Speaker 1: He's got to go to rehab. Well, it was more
Speaker 1: so that those were my mom's students. The cops, Oh,
Speaker 1: your mom really is sucking up your life. So that's
Speaker 1: why they arrested you. I think there's something where they
Speaker 1: might have been like, but then they're like, she gave
Speaker 1: me a bee. You know, all that time that they
Speaker 1: spent in the court, they're like, I want to be
Speaker 1: in the classroom, not the corporate I think they were
Speaker 1: probably just like they got a sense of like we're
Speaker 1: better than everyone and we're going to stop bad things
Speaker 1: from happening. Probably we've been to court. I'm just blaming
Speaker 1: my mom for everything. They definitely knew my mom. So
Speaker 1: and so you went to rehab after the second arrest. No,
Speaker 1: and then I I got I got kicked out of college.
Speaker 1: Then I was like a good college Okay. Then I
Speaker 1: then I got caught stealing a safe from my mom's house.
Speaker 1: How big was the safe you have? There's a lot
Speaker 1: of issues between you and your mother. I'm wrong. I'm
Speaker 1: wrong in all these stories. I'm not a good all
Speaker 1: the safe to see why your mom? Yes, just something
Speaker 1: else to save when they're not at home. That was
Speaker 1: why I did it, because I knew my mom was
Speaker 1: at home. How did she catch you? She like, Lucus,
Speaker 1: where is my safe prints? Because your fingerprints would be
Speaker 1: there anyway. So, so where did you take the safe?
Speaker 1: I dragged it to the garage, but I got really fired. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I dragged to the garage, but I got really tired,
Speaker 1: so I needed to take a nap and Heroin I
Speaker 1: got the sleep when you stole your mom's safe. Some
Speaker 1: like benzos. This was like a drug. This was like
Speaker 1: a drug fueled drug, money fueled. Okay. Then then my
Speaker 1: mom I dragged the safe out. My mom walks into,
Speaker 1: she sees the track marks. She sees just win. She said,
Speaker 1: why is there safe marks from where my safe used
Speaker 1: to baby my garage. Just sees me cuddling the safe
Speaker 1: I had dragged it my mom. My mom is so butched.
Speaker 1: She just picks up the safe. Oh my god, Wow,
Speaker 1: what a baller move. Oh god, oh god, that's And
Speaker 1: then you went to I know, I go inside before
Speaker 1: you the second inside my mom's house, and she knows
Speaker 1: what were you trying to do? Was like trying to
Speaker 1: get what's mine? All right? And the okay, someway she
Speaker 1: gave you out. I was doing a project, you know
Speaker 1: what you're safe? Come in. She'd just be like, this
Speaker 1: safe looked old and I wanted to replace it. So
Speaker 1: I was bringing to the garage to repair. Broke into
Speaker 1: your house then trying to your mom. You don't like
Speaker 1: break anywhere house? Were you not living there anymore? I
Speaker 1: was locked out of house. Oh have you broken? Okay?
Speaker 1: You left out that detail. Why were you locked out
Speaker 1: for excessive drug use and stealing? Yeah, you had stolen
Speaker 1: something else, like yeah, it still a lot. Did stealing
Speaker 1: give you a high? You know? Yeah, a lot of
Speaker 1: people described like kleptomaniac as like this high. That was
Speaker 1: one of my first thrills when I was a little
Speaker 1: was stealing. I was stealing it like four, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: what the fund do you steals a four year old?
Speaker 1: Like I was like in an arts store and I
Speaker 1: like grabbed like a little pen and try to put
Speaker 1: it in my pocket. I got caught, and they like
Speaker 1: they called the cops on me on a four year old.
Speaker 1: I think they try to make and my mom got
Speaker 1: super mad. That's what I remember really of the story
Speaker 1: is my mom being furious because he's four. Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: I agree with your mom on that, But at the
Speaker 1: same time, you were like, bitch, I'm gonna do it again.
Speaker 1: So rehab How long were you? Rehab? Nine months? And
Speaker 1: I wasn't got fancy like Lindsay Low rehab or so
Speaker 1: I went to Hazleton. What's that the fancier version? And
Speaker 1: who was footing the bell? My mom? Really Okay, you're
Speaker 1: like obviously I mean, I'm surprised she took all the
Speaker 1: money from her safe keeps saying famous. But was she
Speaker 1: like making a lot of money off of this Laramie product. No,
Speaker 1: but she lives in Wyoming, and she's like she's important
Speaker 1: for of all the people's you know, no one else
Speaker 1: in Wyoming. Yeah, most people in Wyoming make way way
Speaker 1: less than Okay, Okay, maybe like okay, but like, so
Speaker 1: I don't want anyone else breaking into your mom's nipper
Speaker 1: house for the safe. What was in the safe? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, what the fun was it in
Speaker 1: the safe? Female conduct? My mom opens it up and
Speaker 1: it's just all my baby pictures. Oh that it makes
Speaker 1: you feel even worse. There was no money. There was
Speaker 1: nothing in the sweet, so like money's and who keeps
Speaker 1: money and a safe? It's in the fucking bank. She's
Speaker 1: a real drug deal. Yeah, unlets do Yeah, let's you
Speaker 1: a mafio. So your money is just in the post.
Speaker 1: We're the only thing she didn't want to burn down,
Speaker 1: shut her house, catch up fire. That's really sweet. Just
Speaker 1: me and dresses. When I was a kid, they put
Speaker 1: you in dresses. She really didn't want to and they didn't.
Speaker 1: They didn't. They couldn't explain to me why I couldn't
Speaker 1: wear dresses. Oh, you wanted to wear them or wanted
Speaker 1: to wear dresses. Well, you have progressive parents, so that's why. Okay,
Speaker 1: so you lose let's fastward. When you lose your virginity,
Speaker 1: one are the circumstances. So I'm on cruixlist the same
Speaker 1: from that same post, from the anal post. If we're
Speaker 1: gonna be like you know what I mean, we're gonna
Speaker 1: go back to that. So someone actually messages me from
Speaker 1: that post. A woman, A woman okay, okay, the only woman,
Speaker 1: sugar sixty nine. No, that's her name, okay, at some
Speaker 1: old school email. Was she born in nineteen sixty nine?
Speaker 1: How old was she? No? It was like sexy, and
Speaker 1: that's what I would think. But would be funnier if
Speaker 1: she shows up and she was much older. I have
Speaker 1: no idea. Yes, I'm gonna say thirty five. She was
Speaker 1: thirty five and you were nineteen. That's hot. So what
Speaker 1: does she say when his face wasn't Well technically she wasn't,
Speaker 1: but to me, you know, to someone, I'm sure someone
Speaker 1: thinks she's hot somewhere that was beautiful. And what was
Speaker 1: so describe what you guys message back and forth and
Speaker 1: then what was this meeting? Oh my god, she wouldn't
Speaker 1: give me like a phone number, so we had to
Speaker 1: just keep on like emailing other Yeah, but women's safety,
Speaker 1: that's true. And so eventually she just came over to
Speaker 1: the place I was living. Did she ask you any questions?
Speaker 1: She like a dumbass move on her. I think there
Speaker 1: was just some back and forth back like you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, but like yeah, and you were sober
Speaker 1: what you weren't used to being? Yeah, did you ask
Speaker 1: for a photo? Yeah? But did she send one? She
Speaker 1: probably did, but I don't it didn't really matter. Yeah,
Speaker 1: okay at that okay, I just need someone to foot
Speaker 1: right now. And how was the sex? It was really
Speaker 1: really quick? And how quick four pushes? Okay, okay, that's
Speaker 1: not bad. I like how you call him pushes enough
Speaker 1: thrust for pushes pushes the condom? Yes, okay, you read condom? Yeah?
Speaker 1: What did you save it or no? I just read
Speaker 1: remember it being weird that that was like a cherry? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was like she had one. Did she have the conover?
Speaker 1: Did you have a co? I mean, rewind the whole
Speaker 1: fucking thing. Is weird. Yeah, the red condom is the
Speaker 1: standout weird thing in this scenario. That is your real life.
Speaker 1: It's just for some for there was a moment where
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, she's on her period.
Speaker 1: And then I was like, oh, it's the con Oh boy,
Speaker 1: you are a young nine so dumb. Yeah, you had
Speaker 1: to fucking vaginas in your house. Yeah by that point, Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: and you're still I understood they talked about him. I
Speaker 1: got it. Did they force you to be like to
Speaker 1: know about mentoral cycles? Yes? Oh wow, it would be
Speaker 1: like menopause is the worst? Like that would be that
Speaker 1: would happen all the time. So okay, you lose your
Speaker 1: virginity after four pushes? And then is there awkward conversation
Speaker 1: after between you and Coco Puff sixty nine? Name is
Speaker 1: basically oh? In the in the email, I said that
Speaker 1: I tried to lose my virginity to this girl, right,
Speaker 1: and this girl we were about to have sex, and
Speaker 1: then I told her it was my first time and
Speaker 1: she was like, nope, that was like a girl at
Speaker 1: your age, my age. I was. She was beautiful. She
Speaker 1: was like, I was like, this is the one, this
Speaker 1: is what I want, you know, She's like, no, no,
Speaker 1: that's not happening. She goes, was she also a version?
Speaker 1: That's sad? Okay? So I was So the girl was
Speaker 1: like wait, knowing that you're like your girlfriend, and the
Speaker 1: post was like kind of a bit right, okay, So
Speaker 1: the thirty five year old is shaming the girl your age.
Speaker 1: She didn't want to think to you know, because you're
Speaker 1: a version, okay, okay, And I was just like yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I get it. But in my mind, I was like,
Speaker 1: I just don't want to talk to you about this. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like that's not why we're emailing lady. No, No, that's
Speaker 1: after we were she was trying some first some post
Speaker 1: coital therapy. Yeah okay. And I was just like I
Speaker 1: don't I think, yeah, like there's something weird where I
Speaker 1: was like, I don't expect you because you came here.
Speaker 1: It's kind of you know, oh man, that's in real
Speaker 1: double standard hosts a lot. No, it wasn't. It wasn't
Speaker 1: even a slot thing. It was just like it was
Speaker 1: like it was so unsafe. Yeah, but you you wanted
Speaker 1: that situation. It wasn't New York Tinder. It's like it
Speaker 1: was Florida. It was Florida, Florida. You went on Florida Craigslist.
Speaker 1: You're both trying to see if you wanted things up
Speaker 1: your butt and you're like nah. And then this woman
Speaker 1: said she was gonna come over and you're like okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: and you guys both leaved in Florida, so you're both
Speaker 1: not doing well. Yeah. I was in. I was just
Speaker 1: gonna rehab perfect now mean yeah, your reward to yourself
Speaker 1: and then okay, then what happens in your life? Like
Speaker 1: what dating wise? Do you say clean? Yeah, I've never
Speaker 1: I've never realized really nine months and you never never
Speaker 1: went back? What? Yeah nine months? Nine months? Nine months
Speaker 1: is incredibly long. But we're friends with Andy Dick, So yeah,
Speaker 1: I love you Andy. Um you you one of the
Speaker 1: things that Cred told me about. You used to masturbate
Speaker 1: in public. Yeah. When I was a kid, I was
Speaker 1: all about like thrill seeking. Okay, yeah, how old? How
Speaker 1: old were you when you first masturbated in public? Did
Speaker 1: any how public? We're talking public library? Okay? Were there
Speaker 1: people around? Actively? Wow? Oh you pull that off? You
Speaker 1: just come really quick because you're not you don't know
Speaker 1: where you're not thinking about sex? Almost is your dick out,
Speaker 1: or is your hand down your pants your dick, Your
Speaker 1: dick's out. That's part of the thrill that people see
Speaker 1: your dick. They could see your dick they no one
Speaker 1: ever did. Oh. So it's not like you're not like
Speaker 1: you're not like sitting on top of a table like
Speaker 1: really putting in the show. You're just in a public
Speaker 1: space and there is the opportunity that someone could pass
Speaker 1: by and see your penis. I get it. Okay, that
Speaker 1: makes sense. Yeah. When I masturbated the hotel room an Austins,
Speaker 1: I I opened all the curtains and I was like,
Speaker 1: if someone saves me, whatever, it's fun. When did you
Speaker 1: stop doing that? Did it go awry? One time? Um?
Speaker 1: I was masturbating in an elevator okay, um? And were
Speaker 1: you alone? Yeah? What the funk were you? Was an
Speaker 1: eleven year old doing in elevator masturbating like one of
Speaker 1: the buildings on campus campus at age eleven? Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: where my mom's work. Okay, Okay, So I pushed like
Speaker 1: whatever the highest button okay, and I come and then
Speaker 1: I and I come, but I don't again, I don't
Speaker 1: know where I'm coming. So all of the sight come
Speaker 1: and I realized, I come all over the key pad.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's so gross, so gross. Accidentally you
Speaker 1: accidentally came all over the elevator buttons, like it was
Speaker 1: just like and then I was like oh. And then
Speaker 1: in my mind I was like, oh my god, I
Speaker 1: can't get caught for doing this. And then I like,
Speaker 1: sho okay, So you never got caught, even though someone
Speaker 1: was looking at the camera at some point. I'm sure
Speaker 1: somebody like you know what I mean, Like it was,
Speaker 1: it was it was so close. So it was like, mhmm,
Speaker 1: you are you lead an interesting life, Lucas. Do you
Speaker 1: still need do you still need all this attention? No,
Speaker 1: that's why you stand, I would say. I was like,
Speaker 1: you know, weird choice, Yeah, new new masturbation. How how
Speaker 1: are you? How are you with their sex life now?
Speaker 1: Like how how has your sex life evolved since uh
Speaker 1: Q nine or whatever from Florida? You know? For there
Speaker 1: was a section of like kind of like what people
Speaker 1: would probably call sex edition for a second action, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. We're I was like like had
Speaker 1: with for a little while. I was like having sex
Speaker 1: with like three different people in the day, and like,
Speaker 1: were you being carried about it or were you kind
Speaker 1: of did it feel like you were being reckless in
Speaker 1: a way that wasn't you were really safe. It was
Speaker 1: like it was it was me on an app or
Speaker 1: some kind of I've never had sex basically with anybody
Speaker 1: not from an app, so this day or a website. Alright,
Speaker 1: so a girl met me at a show and got
Speaker 1: messaged me on Facebook, which is still like, yeah, but
Speaker 1: she saw you in real life first. But basically almost
Speaker 1: every other one has been from an app. That dude
Speaker 1: feel uncomfortable talking to women in person, but like to
Speaker 1: start off the conversation in person. Yeah, I kind of
Speaker 1: think there's something where my brain's just going, well, why
Speaker 1: why should I try? When I know I can go
Speaker 1: on the internet and there's someone who said they liked me.
Speaker 1: It was like a guarantee you don't have that you
Speaker 1: don't have to face that rejection. That's an interesting take
Speaker 1: from a male perspective top on apps though, because like
Speaker 1: I know a lot of happens behind the scenes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know a lot of girls were like apps are stupid,
Speaker 1: everyone sucks. But it's like we don't really take into
Speaker 1: account how much men are getting rejected. Like that's like
Speaker 1: kind of your role in the dating scene is just
Speaker 1: like to constantly get rejected and we expect you to
Speaker 1: be totally fucking fine with it, and then we're like,
Speaker 1: why are we alone? Why being a deck? Yeah? I
Speaker 1: mean that sucks. I mean did you ever feel that way?
Speaker 1: Did you ever? Have you been rejected? And what's it?
Speaker 1: Ton Like you would message women on apps and they
Speaker 1: like people or something in one day. That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: So that's what I mean. I mean that you connected
Speaker 1: with though these messages when you're unwhere' just like hey,
Speaker 1: thanks for matching, Like, yeah, I mean, tender is a game.
Speaker 1: Though I matched with a ton of people that I
Speaker 1: didn't respond to who were super hot, Like it had
Speaker 1: nothing to do with it. I just really didn't want
Speaker 1: to do that. I was like, I was trying it
Speaker 1: just for the hell of it, but then I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to go on a date with these people.
Speaker 1: That sounds awful. And was there a rejection from the app?
Speaker 1: Even though you're putting yourself out there a lot and
Speaker 1: getting rejected a lot, was that rejection? Did that suck?
Speaker 1: I mean? Did that I mean? Or is it kind
Speaker 1: of like, well, this is part of the dating game.
Speaker 1: I'm going to get so many notes before I getting
Speaker 1: yes kind of thing. I think it's that is part
Speaker 1: of the game. I think it's also just like I
Speaker 1: didn't know what I wanted, so I would like try
Speaker 1: and seeking another people possibly yeah, and I would be
Speaker 1: vague and the like I would just be like, I
Speaker 1: don't know whatever, what are you looking for? You know,
Speaker 1: like it's like I'm not. It's like it's like I was, like,
Speaker 1: you know'd be cool to just have friends with benefits,
Speaker 1: but it would almost be cool to have a relationship.
Speaker 1: I gotta like do both ports like oh yeah, girls
Speaker 1: love that, right the guy that has no opinion? Yeah,
Speaker 1: so okay, now, my friend. I only have met one
Speaker 1: person in my life who I truly believe as a
Speaker 1: sex addict, and he described to me as sex addiction
Speaker 1: as like you start missing really important important commitments in
Speaker 1: your life to have sex, such as work, such as
Speaker 1: like a really important family event like shows like did
Speaker 1: you ever do that? Or I wouldn't leave my house,
Speaker 1: but I mean did you have anything to do or
Speaker 1: coming over to your house sex with you. I don't
Speaker 1: mean my aus a lot that doesn't know I just
Speaker 1: don't have anywhere to go. I guess when you put
Speaker 1: it that way, it makes me feel like I'm a loser.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I'm not trying to call you. I'm just
Speaker 1: trying to question because sex addiction, I think it's so
Speaker 1: a lot of people say they have and I really
Speaker 1: really really doubt a lot of people on the reason
Speaker 1: why I put it in that kind of category is
Speaker 1: because of my other addictions. So it kind of felt
Speaker 1: a similar SUPERMANI key, yeah, you have anything personnelity, Like
Speaker 1: I got that set feeling for a second, like for
Speaker 1: like I wouldn't eat. I'd just be like, oh, like
Speaker 1: I get like my body temperature would rise, I'd go
Speaker 1: into kiatosis for context from I'm just not only trying
Speaker 1: to like that was like from going after one thing.
Speaker 1: Do you still do that with other things? You still
Speaker 1: have because I mean you always have that addictive personality.
Speaker 1: It doesn't go away. I have it too, But I mean,
Speaker 1: you know, I just don't do like Heroin, right, but
Speaker 1: I'm sure it will be great. Well, now I'm doing
Speaker 1: sugar again, but I go in and out. So you're
Speaker 1: just you're just addictively eating, yes, okay, reward eating. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: I did well, I didn't. Hey, I didn't bomb that
Speaker 1: podcast sugar. Oh my god, I bought that podcast sugar. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I do that too. And also I just like it's
Speaker 1: my truth, like but it's it's not really like an
Speaker 1: addiction is just like my truth. But I don't but
Speaker 1: I don't get I don't ever get that about sugar. Okay,
Speaker 1: I got it, you don't. So it's just more of
Speaker 1: an award for a reward for yourself instead of something
Speaker 1: you're chasing because you get sugar. Any Yeah, it has
Speaker 1: to be something that's hard to kind of get. That's
Speaker 1: why I like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I get that. Like
Speaker 1: weed is not interesting to go and try to get. Well,
Speaker 1: but I've I've had. I mean, I'm not an addict,
Speaker 1: I don't think. But the times where I wanted weed
Speaker 1: and I couldn't get it, I like freaked out just
Speaker 1: because just and and it wasn't even like I needed
Speaker 1: to smoke it, but I'm like the fact that I
Speaker 1: couldn't get her that was hard to get. I was
Speaker 1: like determined to hit up every person I know who's
Speaker 1: ever smoked weed or like it's only happened a couple
Speaker 1: of times, but uh yeah, so I'm like, oh man,
Speaker 1: that's probably a big part of addiction is trying to
Speaker 1: get the thing, like like when you try to like
Speaker 1: find like like like a massage parlor, you find all
Speaker 1: those kinds of things and you try to get your
Speaker 1: brain into like that kind of thing. You go, well,
Speaker 1: it has to be this thing he told me, a
Speaker 1: real massage parlor, or like those hand places. How are
Speaker 1: they hate it? Question? In New York City, you've been
Speaker 1: to one? Yes, So basically the ones that are open
Speaker 1: past eleven pm, that's a blow job place, right. It
Speaker 1: depends on where it's located. Really, like the cheaper looking
Speaker 1: massage problems, because if there's a buzzer, yeah, that's a place,
Speaker 1: but if the door is open, it's not. It's not
Speaker 1: How much can you get done? Can you obviously hand job?
Speaker 1: Can you get a blowjob? Can you get sex? Yes?
Speaker 1: And do you know their code names? Or do you
Speaker 1: just say, hey, I would like are is there a
Speaker 1: price list? Yes? What is the price? Do you remember?
Speaker 1: I don't know what? I go in there and I
Speaker 1: go that's not what I want. So okay, so you've
Speaker 1: done it by four, but not recently. I don't really like,
Speaker 1: I like, really really painful massages. I like it by
Speaker 1: like old ladies that are like super like old ladies
Speaker 1: to Yeah, and it hurts and it's like it's like
Speaker 1: it feels good on your muscles. Yeah, and it's like
Speaker 1: painful and they elbow your head. You don't want to
Speaker 1: blow job from that person because it's probably gonna be pretty.
Speaker 1: They're not going to give you a blowjob there. They
Speaker 1: consider themselves a different thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like a messius. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: a massage therapy messius. Is that are the ones who
Speaker 1: are doing problems? Um? What? God? That's so huh. I
Speaker 1: don't even know what to say. I had more fo
Speaker 1: questions about that, but I don't know. No, with you,
Speaker 1: you keep saying like you come you know easily by
Speaker 1: like touching your dick, or you have in the past.
Speaker 1: But then you mentioned that you have sensory integration disorder
Speaker 1: to me earlier. Oh yeah, I did hug you? Or
Speaker 1: Is that was that? Ikay? Not a lot of people have. No,
Speaker 1: that's the it's I went to occupational therapy when I
Speaker 1: was a kid. Oh, so you kind of figured out
Speaker 1: how to deal with it and be touched, so I
Speaker 1: am Uh. They would say I'm a toucher. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm a touchy versus I'm not be not touched person.
Speaker 1: So I want to be hugged all the time. Oh
Speaker 1: so you loved that hugg game. Yeah, so you like touch.
Speaker 1: I like being touched. The moment someone's like light lightly
Speaker 1: grazes me, I'm like, like it like annoys me because
Speaker 1: they're not hugging you or it's not high, it's not
Speaker 1: like not a lot of pressure. Oh so it's like
Speaker 1: if you're gonna brush up against me, don't touch me
Speaker 1: at all kind of thing. So do you get really
Speaker 1: annoyed on the subway? Yes? Do you your tastes you?
Speaker 1: Do you get visibly irritated? No? Because I went to
Speaker 1: the interesting what kind of exercises are they doing an
Speaker 1: occupational therapy to help deal with that? A lot of
Speaker 1: it is, um, do you feel that? Do you feel that?
Speaker 1: And then they would squeeze apart, and then they would
Speaker 1: squeeze it less and squeeze it less, squeeze it less,
Speaker 1: squeeze it lightly touching, but eventually okay, So you're you're
Speaker 1: currently okay with light touching because I'm wondering, like with
Speaker 1: four play, do you ever with your partners. Do like
Speaker 1: light touch for tease type four play stuff. I'm very
Speaker 1: good at doing it. I would rather usually not be
Speaker 1: done to me. Okay, got it? You like people like
Speaker 1: hidding it seems like rough, rough behavior. I don't though.
Speaker 1: I was thinking that when when you ask me, and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, I'm vanilla. I feel vanilla.
Speaker 1: That's fine in a in a way, because I don't
Speaker 1: like I'm pretty generic because I don't like getting hit.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's not generic. That's just you like not
Speaker 1: getting punched. I honestly consider myself to be pretty vanilla.
Speaker 1: But I do like like violence in the bedroom I
Speaker 1: hate in real life though, same. So what's the what's
Speaker 1: in your eyes? What is the kinkiest thing you've done
Speaker 1: with the kinkies? Thing you like? And maybe it's just missionary,
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's not like a trick question. It's
Speaker 1: just like truly what you like. It's like, I don't
Speaker 1: think from your dick. That's what we say in Our
Speaker 1: Lives show. We ask people questions. I think from your
Speaker 1: vagina or your dick. I guess I like, like whenevery,
Speaker 1: the vagina is as tight as it possibly can be.
Speaker 1: So if their legs are closest, you're every man ever time.
Speaker 1: I don't know perfect. Have you ever encountered a vagina
Speaker 1: as a trap sucker out here? Cassie? You were right, Susie,
Speaker 1: what do you like? Just like the biggest cock like
Speaker 1: that's all. It's like the biggest cock. Um. Have you
Speaker 1: ever encountered a vagina that was? Um? Not I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna e bigger? Oh yeah? Was it coco puffs? But
Speaker 1: it was. You must have been happy because no one
Speaker 1: was lightly touching you. Then no one was touching you
Speaker 1: at all. No, No, it was it was it was
Speaker 1: I got my full my full hand. Okay, yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean that was weird. That's not vanilla that you even
Speaker 1: tried to put your home hand fisted a woman. That's
Speaker 1: a pretty badass. No, because I was just trying to
Speaker 1: do the regular fingering where you get like all the
Speaker 1: sides and slipped up her pussy. Not because I tried
Speaker 1: to get all the sides but I couldn't get all
Speaker 1: the sides, so I just kept adding fingers. What do
Speaker 1: you mean all the sides of her cervix? Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: you tried to touch all the walls. I mean it's
Speaker 1: not a square. You don't have to do that though, Well,
Speaker 1: you know my giver, so you are God. So I'm
Speaker 1: going back and forth and then all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: I looked down in my hands and it's just covered
Speaker 1: in blood. I mean, was this person okay? Were she
Speaker 1: menstraighting or did you tear or something? I don't know
Speaker 1: what exactly what happened, but does she know what she was?
Speaker 1: She like, oh, she goes, maybe you scratched me. Maybe
Speaker 1: I'm on the period. I'm like, I think you know
Speaker 1: if you're on a period, yeah, I mean invited, came
Speaker 1: early or always no, usually you know, and then you
Speaker 1: stuck your penis in it right after that, no, kind
Speaker 1: of like was like, oh my god. And then because
Speaker 1: I looked at my hand and I looked at my
Speaker 1: dick and did it go past my hand or did
Speaker 1: it go in past? It was like karate chopping. But
Speaker 1: I've had I've had a hand up me, not to
Speaker 1: the wrist, but pretty. And I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I guess my vagina is too. I don't know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: ship don't looks vagina. No, I don't know. If I
Speaker 1: don't think so, I just think, well, I guess. I
Speaker 1: mean like even when not like you can feel the difference,
Speaker 1: Like if I don't have sex for a couple of weeks,
Speaker 1: it hurts to have true true true. So I mean
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, like starfish, you're constantly renewing. I
Speaker 1: just remember just being like, my dick's not a fist. No,
Speaker 1: your dick is not a fist. Your dick is a dick.
Speaker 1: So the reason you ended up not doing it was
Speaker 1: because you didn't think that you could satisfy her with
Speaker 1: your little, not risk dick or were you like, I
Speaker 1: don't want to get into this. Also it's covered in blood,
Speaker 1: so yeah, well, I mean do not She shouldn't have
Speaker 1: been having sex. It seemed like there was something like
Speaker 1: there were some wounds that happened. I don't know, Okay,
Speaker 1: And you're are you dating somebody? You are? How for?
Speaker 1: How long is it? Like? Are you exclusive? Are you? Um?
Speaker 1: We are in an open relationship? Oh? Nice? For how long?
Speaker 1: Cool is it going? What are your rules between each other?
Speaker 1: The rules are no coworkers, that's it, and um, we
Speaker 1: don't we don't talk about the other partner. Is there
Speaker 1: any rules about like frequency? How long? How many the
Speaker 1: other like of that kind of thing is like I
Speaker 1: come home at night. Yeah, that's most people haven't. Um, Now,
Speaker 1: did you guys agree to this early on into your relationship?
Speaker 1: We were hooking up a year before that. Okay, then
Speaker 1: she was like I want a title and now and
Speaker 1: now after a year, it feels like she doesn't really
Speaker 1: she's not she hasn't been going out. She's but you,
Speaker 1: on the other hand, I haven't really been going out
Speaker 1: much either because you like each other or you don't
Speaker 1: have time. I don't have time. And also I like her,
Speaker 1: I really do. So you live together. We live together.
Speaker 1: And do you do you still feel yourself having that
Speaker 1: like needing to get that high from fucking other people?
Speaker 1: Do you have that itch that's not getting scratched when
Speaker 1: you're when you're not going out because you're too busy. No,
Speaker 1: because I'm when I'm too busy doesn't matter. It's only
Speaker 1: when I'm like, oh my god, I have a free Sunday.
Speaker 1: Yeah okay. So like when you're idol, it's like the
Speaker 1: devil comes in. Okay, I gotta gotta gotta got it. Okay,
Speaker 1: and then um, we'll wrap this up. But just in closing, Um,
Speaker 1: you mentioned that you did stand up at an orgy. Um,
Speaker 1: that sounds pretty interesting. It's terrible. I mean I figured
Speaker 1: it one wouldn't be good. All right, So this orgy
Speaker 1: was a three day event. Whoa was it in the woods? No?
Speaker 1: It was in a taekwondo good Okay? Were you were
Speaker 1: you there? Were you there purely as a stand up
Speaker 1: comic or as a participant in the orgy? And they're like,
Speaker 1: anyone got any talents? I was there is the talent?
Speaker 1: I don't feel it. I feel like that's more professional.
Speaker 1: I want to do that show. How well, we'll talk
Speaker 1: later anyway, how was the experience? So it was the
Speaker 1: it was three nights. This was the first night, which
Speaker 1: was kind of the pre orgy party. Wow. But so
Speaker 1: what they hired me to do was between movies porn
Speaker 1: or none, No, just classic, just fifth Elements, Secretariat, I
Speaker 1: mean secretary was going to say, Secretary would have been
Speaker 1: a good mook. You don't get these okay, okay, wo
Speaker 1: wow Okay. So if they were like sexy regular films, yeah,
Speaker 1: they were trying to ease people in the origin that
Speaker 1: will take place, Okay. I was supposed to perform ten
Speaker 1: minutes between the movies. Okay, Well everyone was going to
Speaker 1: the bathroom and the dream getting snacks. Yet it was like,
Speaker 1: how many glorious you guys understand what this job is? Like, No,
Speaker 1: we yeah, we've done I mean, between all of us,
Speaker 1: we've done comedy in a lot of weird places that
Speaker 1: might be the weirdest. So the first set was okay, like,
Speaker 1: what's okay? I did in Origin? I got, I got,
Speaker 1: I would say I got six and they were closed, right,
Speaker 1: everyone's clothed, so at that time, that time, just the
Speaker 1: girls with like mostly it was just girls wearing pajama
Speaker 1: tops and no tops on that JOm and that was
Speaker 1: mostly that's pretty distracting for you, ye titties. Was there
Speaker 1: a host? There was a host? Was that person a comedian? No,
Speaker 1: it's just a vagin on wheel yea god. Oh, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna give you the hardest tog. After this interview said
Speaker 1: hardest tug and I was like, whoa hardest tug you've
Speaker 1: ever seen? Just okay, you know, I'd prefer to give
Speaker 1: the tug, but I'm going to give the hog. I
Speaker 1: know you need this. So first set of ten minutes
Speaker 1: at the orgy with the tops were off, did okay,
Speaker 1: did okay, Okay, after I can't stop laughing at the
Speaker 1: at the end of the fifth moment, right, everyone's railed up.
Speaker 1: Everyone there's been like I was watching things happening while
Speaker 1: it was going on, So there's just everyone's getting pants less. Well,
Speaker 1: it's mostly just like a huge masturbation scene now and
Speaker 1: also like staying sitting for two movies in a row,
Speaker 1: as exaucet thing you gotta take, you gotta jerk off.
Speaker 1: Someone had like one of those, like someone bought like
Speaker 1: a power tool and then like, oh, to masturbate with it,
Speaker 1: like it was like a buffer. I had like like
Speaker 1: a furry pad on it, but it was obviously like
Speaker 1: a power song, like real women masturbated with this and
Speaker 1: were these straight gay by all of them. It was
Speaker 1: across the it was like buyer no bathroom genderci yes, right, okay.
Speaker 1: The second time I go on stage, it was a stage,
Speaker 1: I mean an area that are in front. I start
Speaker 1: telling everyone's everyone's basically naked in their own or you know,
Speaker 1: pajama top but or like pajama top dick out Like okay,
Speaker 1: I'm like telling these bits and I'm watching that guys
Speaker 1: getting jerked off, but they're like limp, Oh, that would
Speaker 1: funk up my set, And and the poem is I know,
Speaker 1: I know in my head because we all know like
Speaker 1: if something's weird and an audience we go look at that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you can't do at right, there is so much weird
Speaker 1: ship too much that guy's limp. You don't want to
Speaker 1: do that just inappropriate, that's sex positive. But it's also
Speaker 1: say a guy's limp is just accurate. Yeah, that's weird,
Speaker 1: it's weird that whatever. Yeah, but it's a weird craw
Speaker 1: Like if someone unattractive in the audience, you wouldn't be like,
Speaker 1: look at that. I would started asking them analytical questions
Speaker 1: about their political beliefs or some ship that nothing different.
Speaker 1: This is the crazy part. There was basically everybody there
Speaker 1: was hot. Really, there was no woman there that I
Speaker 1: would have Yeah, yeah, you're on Crazylist in Florida. Yeah
Speaker 1: you kind of legit le very very beautiful. Like, wow,
Speaker 1: that's the kind of orgy I want to go to.
Speaker 1: They still happen, Okay, we'll get that information later. Of course.
Speaker 1: I mean they had to be happening, because it's like
Speaker 1: you gotta separate the ugliest from the you have to have,
Speaker 1: like you have to have a like a buddy, and
Speaker 1: it's like a it's a whole system of to be
Speaker 1: safe and to make sure there's some sort of standard
Speaker 1: to get in and wow, so the guys are getting
Speaker 1: jerked off. It's pretty it's horrible. It's pretty bad, right.
Speaker 1: I think it's great. I get I'll say it again
Speaker 1: now now, if if I got sixty the last time,
Speaker 1: I got thirty this time this time because I'm just
Speaker 1: so distracted and I know, I just also know that
Speaker 1: no one wants it, yeah, shut up or trying to.
Speaker 1: It's like it's like doing a college because they have to.
Speaker 1: It's pc like a college, but then everyone's naked, and
Speaker 1: also no one wants to hear you talk. Looks like
Speaker 1: worse than doing stand up impromptu at a steakhouse where
Speaker 1: everyone's like, stop interrupting my dinner exactly. So by the
Speaker 1: time I get asked to do the third movie, like
Speaker 1: do I have to the third movie? Third movie? He
Speaker 1: said okay, um yeah, and I was like okay, And
Speaker 1: then I told this story, Oh my god, and I
Speaker 1: you haven't. I don't know if anyone's ever really bombed
Speaker 1: until they've bombed while looking at every woman who would
Speaker 1: have ever rejected them naked. So it's like a nightmare,
Speaker 1: but it happen to you and realize, you know, I
Speaker 1: got people like in public speaking, they're just like imagine
Speaker 1: everyone and they're underwear or naked, right, and then you
Speaker 1: see them all naked and they're all not laughing each other.
Speaker 1: There was one clothed person there and it was you know,
Speaker 1: I was. I was in my boxers. Wow, by choice
Speaker 1: because you wanted to fit in? Yeah, well yeah, that's
Speaker 1: I didn't. I definitely didn't want to wear a suit.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say I've never seen I've never seen you
Speaker 1: do stand up in a suit? Look right, but you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like, yeah, if someone was like,
Speaker 1: this is a corporate event, right right, right right, well
Speaker 1: I I was. I went to a sex party once
Speaker 1: in Canada and we were the only clothes people, and
Speaker 1: the naked people kind of got offended. They're like, what
Speaker 1: the funk are you doing with your clothes? Oh my god?
Speaker 1: So maybe they had maybe even allowed clothed people at
Speaker 1: these kinds of events, Like you have to dis that.
Speaker 1: That is actually the theme of the show. The theme
Speaker 1: of it was that this was a pajama. If you
Speaker 1: didn't wear pajamas, you weren't allowed. Okay, okay, So when
Speaker 1: I came, I was like, I'm the comedian. I was like,
Speaker 1: fully dressed when we have a changing room for you?
Speaker 1: Oh god? So so okay. So the last set sucked,
Speaker 1: but that's okay. Those were unique circumstances. What were you
Speaker 1: paid in? Fingers at the butt? I have a lifetime
Speaker 1: into this orgy from that long? Right? Was that? Seriously
Speaker 1: the payment? That's the worst payment? Who cares? I know
Speaker 1: you don't want to go to that, do you? I
Speaker 1: don't know. I keep debating. Well your free pass. We'll
Speaker 1: talk later. Um okay, wow, wow, Wow, I think it's
Speaker 1: seventy or something up a time. Ok Wow, look at you.
Speaker 1: I really thought it was way more expecting. Hey, we
Speaker 1: don't know how much is too? Yeah, I went to
Speaker 1: a sex party in Atlantic City that was more than that.
Speaker 1: Um not. Where can we find you online? Lucas? Oh
Speaker 1: my god, love you? I'm in I'm in shock. Actually
Speaker 1: a lot of things have taken Yeah, you guys can
Speaker 1: follow me at loveable Lucas dot com. And are you serious?
Speaker 1: It's l u c a s Okay, thank you for
Speaker 1: there's a lot of Lucas spellings. Yeah, we got all right. Hey, guys,
Speaker 1: possibly coming to an orgy near you. Seriously, if you
Speaker 1: see Lucas on a comedy poster on your Facebook or
Speaker 1: in a subway or like in the deep mode of
Speaker 1: transportation not not the sandwich job, please go see me.
Speaker 1: Super funny. Thank you so much for listening to guys,
Speaker 1: we sucked the anti slued schaming podcast. We'll talk to
Speaker 1: you next Friday. Talk to you or smiling you like
Speaker 1: for one hass come even though we are to treat
Speaker 1: a night. See, I got around these hurt inside my
Speaker 1: hum like beats through. I'm only bazy hoping get by.
Speaker 1: You never want to talk about it. Start to shouting francy,
Speaker 1: you're r say by cot and when you're close to
Speaker 1: me feel so good. I know bad. I could make
Speaker 1: it be for your favorite room. Somehow, fig somehow, how
Speaker 1: you round? How you get all them guys? We funck listeners.
Speaker 1: Today's show was sponsored by talk Space, the online therapy
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