Speaker 1: Welcome to Guys We Fucked. Guys We Guys we Book.
Speaker 1: I'm Christina, I'm Karren. We're sorry about last night, the
Speaker 1: anti slut shaming podcast. I never stopped Hi. Hello, Hello,
Speaker 1: what's up everybody? Welcome to another episode of Guys We Fought.
Speaker 1: It's the anti slut shimming podcast. I'm Karin. I'm Christina.
Speaker 1: Almost forgot how we did that. I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: we've only been doing it for almost four You you
Speaker 1: know you need to talk to someone, karn And you know,
Speaker 1: did you know that talk space is an online therapy
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Speaker 1: You Yes, you can work with an experienced, licensed therapist
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Speaker 1: On talk Space, you could send text, audio, and video
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Speaker 1: on feeling a little bit happier. Does that sound fun?
Speaker 1: I mean that's gonna be a long commitment. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean you're yeah, but hey, the talk space is in
Speaker 1: it to win it to sign up or if you
Speaker 1: want to learn more, Let's go to talk space dot
Speaker 1: com slash GWF and to show your support for guys
Speaker 1: we've sucked, use code g WF. You get thirty bucks
Speaker 1: off your first month. That's GWF at talk space dot
Speaker 1: com slash GWF. Come see us live tonight Milwaukee. We
Speaker 1: are going to be up inside you. The ticket sales business,
Speaker 1: they ain't great. They ain't great. So if you want
Speaker 1: us to ever come back to Milwaukee, please thought i'd
Speaker 1: say that tickets for the Paps Theater show. It's at
Speaker 1: eight pm. I'm excited to code to Milwaukee because I've
Speaker 1: never been there before. Now we see America. I think
Speaker 1: of Alice Cooper in Wayne's World saying Millie Wauke, you
Speaker 1: know it's gonna be great, great time cool. Do you
Speaker 1: know anybody in Milwaukee? You do, Tanya Richard, you're working
Speaker 1: right now, but you know somebody in Milwaukee. And then
Speaker 1: tomorrow if you're in Chicago, we should still have tickets
Speaker 1: left by the time you hear this. Uh tallya Hall
Speaker 1: we are going to be at eight pm as part
Speaker 1: of the fourth annual twenty six Annual Comedy Festival. And
Speaker 1: interesting fact about that show. It's seventeen and up. We
Speaker 1: so rarely play venues and that are as young as seventeen.
Speaker 1: So Hi, if you're doing the crying face emoji, this
Speaker 1: is an opportunity for you. Uh. And then on Wednesday,
Speaker 1: June seven, in New York City, Uh, this is me Karin.
Speaker 1: I'm hosting The Comedian Project with Katie Hanigan eight pm
Speaker 1: at the Standing Room that's right off the seven train
Speaker 1: at Verdon Jackson in Long Island City. Uh, just five
Speaker 1: bucks to get. In Los Angeles, California, Friday, June Starling
Speaker 1: and I are bringing Glamorous to the belly Room at
Speaker 1: the Comedy Storm. So excited the shows at ten thirty pm.
Speaker 1: Tickets are twelve bucks. Uh get it, We're almost sold out.
Speaker 1: Let's rage in l A, Montreal, Canada. We are back
Speaker 1: for just for Laughs July and we're doing guys. We
Speaker 1: fun the experience, the live podcast recording, and the Christine
Speaker 1: and I are also co hosting two stand up shows
Speaker 1: off JFL. It's gonna be a lot of fun. I
Speaker 1: know Montreal came out and droves last time. So by
Speaker 1: those tickets A S A P. Toronto. Last time we
Speaker 1: was in you, I was in a sex club hot tub,
Speaker 1: but it was very fun. Canada. We're gonna be Toronto, Canada.
Speaker 1: We're gonna be in you September twenty one and the
Speaker 1: twenty second for just for laughs, we're gonna do. I
Speaker 1: think we're doing a live podcast recording and guys with
Speaker 1: the experience probably thinks so on the website we're gonna
Speaker 1: be there. That's all you really care about, you know,
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Speaker 1: in a tree? Thank you? Well, come on, that was
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Speaker 1: so if you remember last week, we always like to
Speaker 1: do something special for Pride because we love the l
Speaker 1: g B, t q I a community here on guys,
Speaker 1: we fucked uh you know, even when we're off the air,
Speaker 1: we still love them. That's how much we love them.
Speaker 1: We really do. Um and so uh, we kind of
Speaker 1: had the idea. We've been doing a lot of work
Speaker 1: with New Alternatives, which you've heard on previous episodes. Our
Speaker 1: friend Grant is now officially on the board there, and
Speaker 1: there's a woman Kate there who kind of does so
Speaker 1: much work by herself. And it's a local organis station,
Speaker 1: but it's getting bigger. And there's a lot of um
Speaker 1: kind of national organizations that you hear about that do
Speaker 1: the same kind of outreach. Well, whether it be the
Speaker 1: Ali Forny Center or you're probably familiar with like the
Speaker 1: Trevor Project. New Alternatives is a local organization. Uh. They
Speaker 1: run out of a church in Hell's Kitchen. They do
Speaker 1: so much for their clients. They make meals for them
Speaker 1: every Sunday, they provide clothing for them each week from
Speaker 1: based off donations. I'm on their volunteer list, and when
Speaker 1: clients need help getting a job, they have volunteers come
Speaker 1: in and work on them, the resumes with them. There's
Speaker 1: just a lot of things they they facilitate to help
Speaker 1: these clients have a better life. And most of these
Speaker 1: clients were kicked out of their homes or had to
Speaker 1: leave the state or the city that they were in
Speaker 1: because of reasons that directly have to do with their sexuality.
Speaker 1: And I think we can all agree, no matter what
Speaker 1: you think, no one should be being kicked out of
Speaker 1: their home for who they love and who they want
Speaker 1: to have sex with. I mean, that could go in
Speaker 1: other ways, but there's one consult um. Yeah, and so
Speaker 1: we decided, you know, the l g B t q
Speaker 1: I community is that's like a very vague concept. You
Speaker 1: hear it a lot. What does that really mean? So
Speaker 1: we're gonna talk each week every Friday, we feature a
Speaker 1: new client from New Alternatives, just to get a little
Speaker 1: insight to different kinds of people's lives who are positively
Speaker 1: affected by this organization. They all have very different stories,
Speaker 1: different backgrounds, and hopefully you'll learn more about people whose
Speaker 1: lives are different than you, or maybe you'll find out
Speaker 1: that you have a lot in common with this person
Speaker 1: who lives in New York City and you could come,
Speaker 1: take a bus and hang out. It'll be great. Yeah,
Speaker 1: these folks blew me away. It was really fun talking
Speaker 1: to them. Um. So this week we're gonna play a
Speaker 1: clip from a conversation with Casanova, a gentleman named Casanova.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, he's amazing. That's a great name. Thank you.
Speaker 1: How are you doing well? Thanks to you. I'm good,
Speaker 1: I'm good. We're excited to have you here. So how
Speaker 1: did you come to find new alternatives? Actually, I've been
Speaker 1: working with Kate Bernhardt for many years and whether she went,
Speaker 1: I went. She's amazing. Cool. So what what's tell us
Speaker 1: a little bit about your history or sexuality? Do you
Speaker 1: fall in the lgbtwo q A spectrum or I'm an
Speaker 1: open out gamel and I'm in a serialist cording relationship.
Speaker 1: I met Kate, got my first job and we're going
Speaker 1: to drop in center for LGBT youth and since then
Speaker 1: I've been around. Awesome, that's great. And are you from
Speaker 1: New York? Where were you born? I'm born and raised
Speaker 1: in New York City. Nice? How is that is that? Like?
Speaker 1: Most people think that I'm from somewhere else. It's kind
Speaker 1: of crazy. They like, you don't sound like a New Yorker.
Speaker 1: I'm like, what you like a New Yorker? I mean
Speaker 1: new Yorker such a that's such an umbrella. But when
Speaker 1: I go out anywhere else, they think I'm from somewhere else.
Speaker 1: Really really anyway, maybe like you from like from there
Speaker 1: here born and raised? What was your childhood like in
Speaker 1: terms of like your parents? How do you learn about sex? Well?
Speaker 1: I grew up in I'm forced to care, and I
Speaker 1: learned about sex by doing it. How old were you Well,
Speaker 1: I'm like round eight or nine. I knew that I
Speaker 1: like men and women men, and I would like I
Speaker 1: had this friend of mine. She was dope, but like
Speaker 1: I could have sex with her, and I'm gonna get
Speaker 1: other guys have sex with her too, and I would
Speaker 1: get to have sex with them with her. Fun. And
Speaker 1: how old were you You were eight or nine around, Well,
Speaker 1: that's when we started, but like fourteen, that's when everybody got,
Speaker 1: you know, acquaintance Foster Home orgy. Basically, yeah, do you
Speaker 1: still talk to those people? Yes, oh you do. How
Speaker 1: are they doing? They're doing well and doing well. That's
Speaker 1: one like a lesbian now and the other two are straight,
Speaker 1: so that's great. And at that time, did you feel
Speaker 1: like did you feel like, I'm I feel like a
Speaker 1: kind of young to be doing this. I feel good
Speaker 1: doing this. I should know what. I didn't know exactly
Speaker 1: what I just felt, and they're like, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I always thought I was an adult. It's like six
Speaker 1: years old. I thought I was grown. So I don't
Speaker 1: know exactly if I felt bad or not. I didn't
Speaker 1: feel bad. I felt like it was natural. I felt
Speaker 1: like you're following urges. We we we we discussed it.
Speaker 1: We called it six. Really you could talk about it
Speaker 1: in front of people and no one knew. And it
Speaker 1: was like, so you want to go see six? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I love six and six with a friend of Blossom.
Speaker 1: So that's what, right, I was just gonna say. I
Speaker 1: was like, is that Bosom residence? I don't know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so that's what we did. That's well, I mean it's not.
Speaker 1: I mean it makes sense that you felt like an adult,
Speaker 1: because I would imagine growing up in foster care, you
Speaker 1: have to kind of like be in charge of yourself
Speaker 1: a little bit more than you know a young person
Speaker 1: growing up and else with their biological parents. What were
Speaker 1: your do you remember life before foster care or anything.
Speaker 1: I've always been a care I was going to crack cocaine,
Speaker 1: so you're born addicted to it. I was like, uh,
Speaker 1: premature incubator and all that was like he survived. You're
Speaker 1: a yeah, thank you, thank you. But basically that's what
Speaker 1: it was to me. And then like sex has always
Speaker 1: been when I love church. I just grew up in
Speaker 1: the church, but I didn't like the fact they told
Speaker 1: me that I couldn't do certain things and I would
Speaker 1: questions like what like like men, So it was very
Speaker 1: like open at your church, like being homosexual, It's not okay, No,
Speaker 1: it was why are you asking these questions? H Sodom
Speaker 1: moral was important. I'm like, um sodom and moral is
Speaker 1: about angels who disobeyed God's rule. Like they didn't have
Speaker 1: nothing to do with anything else. They said, God said,
Speaker 1: don't touch these angels, and your fine, but they still
Speaker 1: touched the angels and that's why they destroyed. Didn't mean
Speaker 1: that homosexuality was bad because they didn't say that they
Speaker 1: was having So they were taking that anecdote and saying,
Speaker 1: see what what happened to them? But it's like, but
Speaker 1: they weren't gave overs. What are you talking about? Yeah? Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: Sometimes religions, the things that used to justify their hatred
Speaker 1: or their their bias blows me away. Was there ever
Speaker 1: a time growing up or because of the church where
Speaker 1: you felt uncomfortable being you because you because you can
Speaker 1: come and right now and you're like, I'm an open,
Speaker 1: proud gaming which is It was hard? It was, it was.
Speaker 1: It was so hard because I used to go church
Speaker 1: and feel ashamed to myself, like I really feel bad
Speaker 1: diamond church, trying to ask God to change me. Please Lord,
Speaker 1: take these thoughts away from me. I don't know why
Speaker 1: I like certain things. I don't know why. When I'm
Speaker 1: sitting in class and I'm just listening to the teacher,
Speaker 1: I can look over and yeah and I'm like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, why am I feeling this? And I shouldn't
Speaker 1: be feeling this about her? And I had girlfriends, had
Speaker 1: girlfriends pay the game. No, I know. I dated a
Speaker 1: couple of guys and it was cool. But at the
Speaker 1: same time, I didn't feel nothing for them. Yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: because it's like, well, society is telling me to do this,
Speaker 1: but this isn't what I want to suffer a maze
Speaker 1: suffer to her, it's not what made you finally accept yourself. Um,
Speaker 1: I don't know. Like I had when I was from
Speaker 1: fifteen to nineteen, I had like lived this life in
Speaker 1: my head about being a person that was out and
Speaker 1: happy and just lives his life. It was almost like Liberaci.
Speaker 1: But but that's where I wanted. And when I came
Speaker 1: nineteen years old, beau, see, let me tell you this
Speaker 1: part first, and I was about eight years old. My
Speaker 1: cousin caught me a gay lord. I didn't know what
Speaker 1: that meant. So I ran to my like aunt, like,
Speaker 1: what's a gay lord? And she was like, it's a
Speaker 1: bad word for people who feel a certain type of way.
Speaker 1: And I immediately identified. So I don't walk around the house.
Speaker 1: I'm gay. I'm gay. I'm gay gay lord. And they're like, no,
Speaker 1: you're eight years old. You don't like gay is eighteen?
Speaker 1: Come back? So wait until nineteen still gay extra year
Speaker 1: unlessally I'm confirmed this. Yeah, And that's what I did,
Speaker 1: and I came out at nineteen, and I did everything
Speaker 1: I thought from fifteen to nineteen, Everything I thought I
Speaker 1: was gonna do, I did, like just no holds bards,
Speaker 1: I don't care. Yeah, that's what it is. And what
Speaker 1: was your family's reaction to you coming out? It was different,
Speaker 1: But my mom she was on some I don't want
Speaker 1: you to kill yourself, so I'm going to accept you
Speaker 1: for Wow. I don't wait to kill yourself, so I'm
Speaker 1: not going to react the way I want to react. Okay, great, cool?
Speaker 1: And anybody else was like, I've stopped being I have
Speaker 1: a brother named Brian, stopped being tyree, Oh Casanova. It
Speaker 1: was I've been Brian's brother. I didn't have a name.
Speaker 1: I was that's Brian's brother. Just like people kind of
Speaker 1: like associated themselves or like you had less value because
Speaker 1: you were guy, and that my mom told me that, Um,
Speaker 1: I became less of a she said what she I've
Speaker 1: got the exact grow, she said, but I became less
Speaker 1: of a person when I became gay. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: And I was like, really, isn't that so? How did
Speaker 1: you say that? Frustrated because it's like, how do you
Speaker 1: change that belief in somebody that is a routed I'm
Speaker 1: not a good person no more, because really, like that
Speaker 1: is a heavy thing to think, and it seems like
Speaker 1: she really truly thought. That's the worst part about that.
Speaker 1: She really have to tell you that. When I came
Speaker 1: to her, I was eight years old, but she was
Speaker 1: sixty two, so she's eighty eight now, and she's like, baby,
Speaker 1: I love you, but you will never get to see
Speaker 1: heaven the way I will. And I'm like, well, if
Speaker 1: there's no gay people in heaven, will send me to hell.
Speaker 1: That's what a party. Yeah, fire, Well that's and I mean,
Speaker 1: and that's and that's even that's so deep because I mean,
Speaker 1: I think part of the reaction a lot of times
Speaker 1: with parents is that they're scared for you, because I
Speaker 1: think she was so religious that she truly believes that
Speaker 1: you are when you die, are going separate places because
Speaker 1: of your sexual orientation, which I mean, no, I mean
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say not true. Yeah, obvious on a leap,
Speaker 1: but say not true. Um, do you still talk to
Speaker 1: talk to your mouth? I told her all the time, Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: because she's gonna to mom. And she did a lot
Speaker 1: for me, and she she taught me a lot how
Speaker 1: to give her that respect. She may not accept me
Speaker 1: for who I am, but she taught me a lot
Speaker 1: as a child. And I was there before she knew
Speaker 1: I was gay. She did a great job at parenting
Speaker 1: because he stept for the fact that her son obviously
Speaker 1: knew I was gay because you could see it. And
Speaker 1: I was one of those ever like her biological son,
Speaker 1: I wasn't maybe a young man and he's just sea
Speaker 1: only things like kind of die of age, You're gonna
Speaker 1: die of HIV And then at a lie you shouldn't
Speaker 1: be doing this ship And I would just sit there
Speaker 1: and take it like I don't know. I don't know
Speaker 1: HIV was like I didn't know what was going on.
Speaker 1: But later on, when I was like twenty, I wasn't.
Speaker 1: I went to I went to her house, got moved
Speaker 1: out with that nineteen I came gay. I moved out,
Speaker 1: like and that was that was your choice, my choice.
Speaker 1: I gotta go by and I came home and I've
Speaker 1: seen these mads and I'm like, well, I don't know
Speaker 1: what that means. Hold on, I know what this is medicine, yes,
Speaker 1: And I said to her, what you know these HIV medications? Right,
Speaker 1: And She's like, well, yeah, I've known for years. I mean,
Speaker 1: your same son that talked bad about me about being
Speaker 1: gay is living with HIV. Allow that to happen. That
Speaker 1: explains a lot from him projecting onto you to me,
Speaker 1: But yet you're living with this. And I'm like, because
Speaker 1: they're they're ashamed of their own ship and they projected.
Speaker 1: It's like, I guess, yeah, I see this pattern so
Speaker 1: often with anything, whether it's homosexuality or just a woman
Speaker 1: fucking wearing a slutty dress, with anything, whenever someone judges
Speaker 1: them or like projects and says horrible things, it's always
Speaker 1: because they're afraid of the part of themselves that they
Speaker 1: seeing you. They don't want to hold a mirror up
Speaker 1: to themselves exactly. I'm like, God, damn, I say, you
Speaker 1: can't be homophobic if you're not a home right, Well,
Speaker 1: so then maybe he he didn't have the right to
Speaker 1: do it, right I was a child. Yeah, I know
Speaker 1: what I mean. It's just it's just hating your So
Speaker 1: many times hatred is like hating yourself, and then that
Speaker 1: comes out as hatred towards other people. That's what it was.
Speaker 1: I mean, do you ever did you ever find out
Speaker 1: for a fact if he's get or not. But I
Speaker 1: find about his status and I'd never use it against him.
Speaker 1: I never said it. Yea, I understand and and it
Speaker 1: said the statistics today say one out of every two
Speaker 1: black men that h that LGBT will get HIV in
Speaker 1: a lifetime. Wow. And it's like a two yeah, Like
Speaker 1: I thought we changed that. I thought that we was. No,
Speaker 1: that's the that's the fact today, like one out of
Speaker 1: every two black lgb TEA men will catch HIV. Well, unfortunately,
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, people just are still aren't using condoms.
Speaker 1: I mean when you if you have a time you
Speaker 1: ride the subway, there's still a ton of ads just
Speaker 1: being like, hey, we have condoms for free. Come get
Speaker 1: these condoms if you are having sex, to use condocts.
Speaker 1: I have never paid for a condom because I get
Speaker 1: condoms free because all black anyway, any gay man in
Speaker 1: the city in New York City, you get free comment anyway,
Speaker 1: an when you walk in I mean that's where I
Speaker 1: hang out, there was always at the door like saying
Speaker 1: yeah yeah are usually it's back. Yeah. It's like thank
Speaker 1: you New York City about me and getting off and
Speaker 1: I really love you for that. Well, because people. I mean,
Speaker 1: there's saying don't have sex is just not a choice.
Speaker 1: That's not going to happen. It's not fair, it's not right.
Speaker 1: So New York made a great decision in creating that
Speaker 1: New York City condom. It's like, hey, we know you
Speaker 1: guys are having sex, and we want it to be
Speaker 1: done safely and when you want you to enjoy it,
Speaker 1: and we want this to be accessible for you. And
Speaker 1: so it's like and it's also I think it's really
Speaker 1: smart to you know, put them in health centers, but
Speaker 1: also put them in real places where people are actually
Speaker 1: hanging out, like barth and nightclops. Perfect. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: so you have, like you have a really healthy relationship
Speaker 1: with your own sexuality, which it's like the journey of
Speaker 1: like wait, what's happening mom? You know. Yeah, it took
Speaker 1: a while, but I'm happy who who I am and
Speaker 1: I love the fact that I am who. I think
Speaker 1: gay people are special. I think I think it's privileged. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's like I get to do in experienced things
Speaker 1: that you only think about. Yeah, like what like like
Speaker 1: I don't know, I know what it feels like to
Speaker 1: be felt like a piece of meat, SMI looks at
Speaker 1: you and it makes you feel like a piece of meat,
Speaker 1: and how women always like, oh my god, he looks
Speaker 1: at me and he made me feel so bad because
Speaker 1: he's sexualized me. I know what that feels like, because
Speaker 1: they sexualized me. And I'm like, oh, hey, that's what
Speaker 1: it's okay now, Well, I feel privileged. Ye, so privileged
Speaker 1: in that you can you understand the experiences exactly sexual
Speaker 1: most most women is tell me you can't be a feminist,
Speaker 1: you're not a woman. I believe that people should be
Speaker 1: who they are and express who they are and live
Speaker 1: who they are. And now that I can actually see
Speaker 1: how they're stigmatized and feel a little bit of that,
Speaker 1: I can identify. I don't have to have sympathy. BA
Speaker 1: can empathize with them, because see, sympathy is just pity.
Speaker 1: I don't want you to pity me. I want you
Speaker 1: to empathize with me. If you can't understand what I'm
Speaker 1: going through, then it is to be able to empathize
Speaker 1: with somebody feel like a bond that I love the
Speaker 1: fact that I can actually say, you know what, I
Speaker 1: can understand you, and even if you accept it or not,
Speaker 1: provilege that I can understand you because I get to
Speaker 1: learn something from that. If I don't learn ship now,
Speaker 1: it's nothing. The only thing that can take from you
Speaker 1: with your education and your experience. If I got education,
Speaker 1: I got experience. You can't take that from me, and
Speaker 1: I can learn from that. Oh my god, you're amazing.
Speaker 1: What would you say is like the one standout positive
Speaker 1: thing that New Alternatives has done for you? They have
Speaker 1: opened my mind to accepting everybody in the l g
Speaker 1: B t Q I a spectrum like I used to
Speaker 1: being on some he's straight, he can be in here
Speaker 1: and why is he here? Right? I understand that perspective
Speaker 1: a little bit though, But their structure and what they
Speaker 1: mean so much is by helping anybody that's in need
Speaker 1: in New York City, and I expect that, Like I think,
Speaker 1: the best thing in my life I want if I
Speaker 1: could ever be like richest and sent Cooper or some
Speaker 1: money for Learnthropy of Sex fun reference to Anderson Cooper. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just want to be able to give my money
Speaker 1: away to people and help them, because they showed me
Speaker 1: that no matter what you have, you can help somebody else.
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't have much, but I can give
Speaker 1: you my time, my energy, and they can show you
Speaker 1: how to be a decent person. And I think that's beautiful.
Speaker 1: I love that. God, I'm gonna I'm quite the virtual
Speaker 1: of crying at the end of Always Interviews. This is beautiful.
Speaker 1: It's beautiful. Thank you so much. Thank you so much
Speaker 1: to Casanova for sharing his story on our podcast. If
Speaker 1: you're interested in learning more about New Alternatives or donating
Speaker 1: your time or your money or resources, please visit New
Speaker 1: Alternatives NYC dot org. Um. How is your week? It
Speaker 1: was good? It was good. It was good. It was good.
Speaker 1: I didn't have sex, though, but that's my fault. I
Speaker 1: mean sometimes it just like I'm so busy times, like
Speaker 1: like a long time like but you know, with schedules
Speaker 1: and like going to sleep at different times. Exactly, I
Speaker 1: stay up way later than James and he's always tired,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh my god, right, that's exactly what happens. Well,
Speaker 1: lay in bed for hours sometimes like for no reason too.
Speaker 1: It's what I just to night. It's driving I don't
Speaker 1: even but I don't know why I'm doing because He'll
Speaker 1: be like, come to bit and I'm like, but what
Speaker 1: am I doing here? Right? I was just making coffeefee
Speaker 1: jokes last night me, Well, I did one, and then
Speaker 1: I was like, all right, but uh the right time.
Speaker 1: I Uh, I like fucking at night. He likes sucking
Speaker 1: in the morning. I don't like that. I don't like
Speaker 1: no more. I used to because when we were first dating,
Speaker 1: I was like, any time ever, we should be inside
Speaker 1: of each other all the time. And then uh, and
Speaker 1: then because I would be like waking me up in
Speaker 1: the morning, let's have sex. And then now it's just like,
Speaker 1: don't touch me in the morning. Yeah, I'm tired on
Speaker 1: the morning, Like it's not I don't know. I would
Speaker 1: have to get out James like in the morning. I
Speaker 1: mean I think, yeah, he does like more than I do,
Speaker 1: but mostly everyone does more than I do. I just
Speaker 1: don't like morning sex. And also like now that I
Speaker 1: have a puppy, like the puppies to energet jetic in
Speaker 1: the morning. Yeah, he just paused me out for like, wait,
Speaker 1: why you fucking eased to take me out? Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: oh my god. We keep doing experiments to see how
Speaker 1: how Alfred will protect me, and when James goes to
Speaker 1: kiss me, Alfred tries to do a three way kiss
Speaker 1: with us. Oh, that's sweet. And then I pretended me
Speaker 1: and James like we make up all these scenario So
Speaker 1: I we made up one scenario where James pretends to
Speaker 1: beat me up and I'm like, oh oh, and then
Speaker 1: Alfred came and protected me. Alfred also tried to attack
Speaker 1: attack an aggressive cat caller this week. He was great
Speaker 1: and like, I was a little bit upset because he
Speaker 1: did eat my coach wallet, but then I was like,
Speaker 1: you don't need that, that's basic. Yeah, yeah, it was
Speaker 1: a gift, so I mean, I just like you know
Speaker 1: it was it was from before I was able to
Speaker 1: buy nice things from. Yeah, I had a coach while
Speaker 1: actually had a coach wallet exactly from a friend who
Speaker 1: has had money when I had zero dollars, And I
Speaker 1: was like, this is the nicest thing I own, right,
Speaker 1: But then after he tore it part so easily, I
Speaker 1: was like, maybe this was just from Chinatown, so you
Speaker 1: should call oh whoever gave you that as an asshole? Um. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then this week I also had the opportunity to
Speaker 1: speak on a period panel, which I mean, I have
Speaker 1: to be honest, I went purely to make fun of
Speaker 1: We pulled an opposite because we got asked and I
Speaker 1: was like nah, and You're like yeah, yeah. I went
Speaker 1: because I was like, I, this is going to be
Speaker 1: five minutes worth of material. I cannot say no to
Speaker 1: the opportunity to write new jokes. And was it five
Speaker 1: minutes of new material or was it like I opening
Speaker 1: an amazing no, I went it was positive. I was.
Speaker 1: It was like it was like a show because I
Speaker 1: talked and everyone was laughing, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is easy. I met all these really cool people
Speaker 1: that I want to have on the podcast. I learned
Speaker 1: about toxic shocks injury. I learned about, you know, putting
Speaker 1: period cups in my pussy. Was there a way to
Speaker 1: do it or something? Well, you have to get suction going,
Speaker 1: and then when you release it, you have to make
Speaker 1: sure because it's suction that's keeping it. That's why it splashes,
Speaker 1: So you have to break the seal of the suction
Speaker 1: not too aggressively. And then people if you have an
Speaker 1: I U D there has been some talk that you
Speaker 1: can't use it. You can. You just have to remember
Speaker 1: that when you when you pinch the cup out, you
Speaker 1: need to make sure the strings from your I U
Speaker 1: D don't get caught in the grasp. I didn't even
Speaker 1: know there were strings on an IU D did, but
Speaker 1: I guess that's how you pull it out, because that
Speaker 1: was just not thought that on the table for me.
Speaker 1: They should be, but occasionally I guess they can hang
Speaker 1: down a little lower, and so people have accidentally pulled
Speaker 1: out their I D, which is a painful and expensive mistake.
Speaker 1: Being a woman is not a walk in the goddamn park. No,
Speaker 1: And it was interesting and we there was a lot
Speaker 1: of you know, the whole thing was that it was
Speaker 1: at a thing called the Package Free Shop in Williamsburg.
Speaker 1: If you're interested in going. They had a lot of
Speaker 1: great products there and they weren't like crazy expensive, and
Speaker 1: they had they I got so I got Alu net cup.
Speaker 1: I got a a washable panty liner that like snaps in,
Speaker 1: so it's like it's like a path that you could wash,
Speaker 1: which I mean is gross if you're doing your own laundry.
Speaker 1: But I pay people to do that, so lot gross.
Speaker 1: You're gonna pay someone to wash your period, pa, I
Speaker 1: don't do laundry, so it's just gonna go in the thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I put my I put period underwear and
Speaker 1: all the time you can't even see it it's black black. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And also like definitely just dumping that all in a
Speaker 1: washhapp and to have a job. So it's like I'm
Speaker 1: glad that people don't know if they're happy about that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that didn't come out as how I literally just dumping
Speaker 1: it in though. I mean I've seen people, you know,
Speaker 1: and they work loves. It's like, you know, it's no
Speaker 1: more more or less gross than working at a camp.
Speaker 1: And I mean I void humans and animals, butts and vaginas,
Speaker 1: like doing different things animals vaginas, sure, yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: you almost get their periods before they're fixed. Um. So
Speaker 1: I did that and it was it was really informative. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I had no idea that like tampons basically a
Speaker 1: spec atually if you're not getting an organic tampon, and
Speaker 1: even then they they're causing micro terrors in the lining
Speaker 1: of your vagina, so you're cutting yourself but you don't
Speaker 1: even realize it because it's very bad for you. Like
Speaker 1: the moisten the scented ones, I know, I don't even
Speaker 1: know anything about that, don't even know that the senten
Speaker 1: ones aren't good. Yeah, and then like the because it
Speaker 1: gets so moist in your in your vagina during your period.
Speaker 1: It's like there's a lot of room for infection. And
Speaker 1: that's how kind of like toxic shock syndrome happen. Basically
Speaker 1: tampons all along, No one should be using that. Well now,
Speaker 1: I I I've heard about this for a long as time.
Speaker 1: And then when people come out with lines that are
Speaker 1: like Chinese are organic, like women are amazing tampons, and
Speaker 1: I just don't like the fucking marketing organic cotton down
Speaker 1: to battering. But I get, but it is true. Backs
Speaker 1: are all true, right, I mean women's marketing I have
Speaker 1: a problem with. Yeah, I mean tampons in general I
Speaker 1: think are like the worst for your body. But if
Speaker 1: you're going to use them organic, because everything it's like
Speaker 1: weird fucking fibers and ship and you're pushing, you're just
Speaker 1: buying them off the shell. And with shock syndrome, you
Speaker 1: have to like be using tampons and not changing them
Speaker 1: frequently for a long time, like multiple months, right. I
Speaker 1: mean I don't like, I don't exactly know like that,
Speaker 1: but just the fact that you can be get really
Speaker 1: like kill yourself using a tampapon is frightening. Um. So, yeah,
Speaker 1: there was all that, and then also something that one
Speaker 1: of the people in the panel, uh you know, presents
Speaker 1: as male, identifies as male, but has still has a
Speaker 1: vagina and so and that we kind of talked about
Speaker 1: that because yeah, you don't even think about that. You
Speaker 1: don't think about it. There's no absolutely no advertising. It
Speaker 1: is a niche market. But I just thought that was
Speaker 1: really interesting that need that. Yeah, yeah, and I didn't.
Speaker 1: I was just like, I was like, because I was like,
Speaker 1: what's this dude doing on our panel? And then I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, you have a vagina. That's great, welcome
Speaker 1: so funny. Um, yeah, I had really really great and
Speaker 1: I was like, god, damn it. You you were really
Speaker 1: helping to like make fun of I mean, make fun
Speaker 1: of the being in him is always on my list
Speaker 1: the second best possible thing that could happen, absolutely the
Speaker 1: first best. I mean getting to make fun of everyone. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean that was the plan. Yeah, I'm not trying
Speaker 1: to hide what I was there for. Oh yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: But then you had a great time and I got
Speaker 1: some free ship, So I really like that. Well that's
Speaker 1: fucking rat. Speaking of rad this next guest left his
Speaker 1: fidgety thing on my coffee tableget fidget spinner, that was
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think so something I forget. But
Speaker 1: I don't have a worse memory as him. Um, he's
Speaker 1: one of the funniest comedians. He's he's on MTV is
Speaker 1: joking off. He's a new show on MTV called High Crimes.
Speaker 1: Ladies and Gentlemen give it up for Matt Richard's Listen,
Speaker 1: oblong shoulder, those made stuck s gooder? Oh thing? What
Speaker 1: you read? Baby a bit? Sid come back, come back? Oh? Ocean, ocean, ocean,
Speaker 1: I've done it. Yeah, it's okay. People eating. I eat
Speaker 1: during eat during all the bonus episodes because that sometimes
Speaker 1: I'm high during them. And then and then what I'm recording, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you've eaten during sex? Like I love food even that's
Speaker 1: disgusting to me, is it? Yeah? What did you eat?
Speaker 1: Did she know you were eating? You snuck a bite
Speaker 1: of a sandwich? Didn't I was very hungry? How did
Speaker 1: you do that? That? Were you on top? What was
Speaker 1: the deal? And oh and you had exactly like a
Speaker 1: little stool over there with nightstand. What did you eat?
Speaker 1: I think it was like cheetos or something. And then
Speaker 1: she's going to get orange flakes on her puss. That
Speaker 1: would have been delicious. Did she notice that you ate
Speaker 1: a bite of Cheetos while you were sucking her? I
Speaker 1: don't think so. A cheeto I could handle because that's
Speaker 1: not a meal. That's like a little yea, it's not
Speaker 1: holding an Arby's sandwich, right, that's okay. I would think
Speaker 1: that would have out of maccaroni salad. You mustard on
Speaker 1: your baby. I'm sorry about that. And also you're keeping
Speaker 1: the sex in the eating different, like separate. Have you
Speaker 1: ever incorporated food into sex? Absolutely? I had a girl
Speaker 1: that asked me to put a gummy worm in her vagina.
Speaker 1: She asked you to Yeah, Now what was her tone
Speaker 1: when she asked you? Was she like met? Apparently she
Speaker 1: was talking to a friend and said that got me worm?
Speaker 1: Really wow? I was like, I don't need a flavor
Speaker 1: enhance that. I'm a man. Yeah, but gummy work. I
Speaker 1: mean you got to eat it to get the flavor,
Speaker 1: unless it's a Sara Patch kick, which it emits a
Speaker 1: flavor when you lick it. They got the wrong information
Speaker 1: because a lot of some gummies do change how your
Speaker 1: your your vaginal fluid taste, but you have to actually
Speaker 1: ingest them. Yeah. Remember I told that whole story about
Speaker 1: the natural gummies that I ate, and then my pussy
Speaker 1: tasted like gummies. And it was a very specific brand
Speaker 1: because it was actual, like because it tastes like grape
Speaker 1: or something. Right, Yeah, there was. It was like they
Speaker 1: were organic, so I guess like it was real fruit
Speaker 1: product in it instead of like gelatin and it's seeped down.
Speaker 1: But I mean that's why, like, you know, there's that
Speaker 1: you know rumor or whatever, if it's true or not,
Speaker 1: that Marilyn Manson used to have all his girlfriends or
Speaker 1: anyone he was sucking drink pineapple juice. Because there are
Speaker 1: things just the same way as guys come changes flavor
Speaker 1: and what they ate when they eat. Have you ever
Speaker 1: you taste your room? Comes an accident? Good? Oh? I
Speaker 1: was gonna say, good for you being progressive. Every man
Speaker 1: should taste his own. Come. How did you accidentally come
Speaker 1: in your mouth? Laying on my back? Oh, it's you
Speaker 1: were jerking off and squirted right in your face and
Speaker 1: your mouth was open when you came. You're really excited.
Speaker 1: You're caught the moment you call the gummy worm thing.
Speaker 1: If you if you put one up there and let
Speaker 1: it marinate. WHOA, Yeah, that's what the situation, that's just
Speaker 1: that's just it's like melting into the puss. So you
Speaker 1: stuck the gummy worm up her pussy? Yeah, and then
Speaker 1: and then you ate her out? How long do you
Speaker 1: wait for the like a half hour? What do you
Speaker 1: do in that time? Watch? And we were Netflix and
Speaker 1: Chileng gummy worm was disintegrating. Wow. Okay, now that there's
Speaker 1: there's a nasty rumor going around that black men don't
Speaker 1: eat girls out do Little Wayne loves pussy and it's
Speaker 1: like all about okay, well r I p rest in pussy.
Speaker 1: That's what he's like, the only worst thing. Yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: And I don't because I can't remember one. I definitely
Speaker 1: did not eat me out, but I mean we were outside,
Speaker 1: so that's why part of maneuver. And then I can't
Speaker 1: tell I don't have you heard this rumor stereotyme in
Speaker 1: the seventies when it wasn't I mean I wasn't around
Speaker 1: in the seventies. I've heard it. I've heard it, but
Speaker 1: I've heard it like so you've never even heard it,
Speaker 1: not recently? When did you last hear it? You also
Speaker 1: weren't around. I've heard it from unless you were, I've
Speaker 1: heard it from older guys. No, I don't need mostly
Speaker 1: like West Indian men that are like I don't eat
Speaker 1: nothing that I can't get up on waki. Okay, well
Speaker 1: that's I mean, so do you think it's but eating
Speaker 1: out is not an American thing? I mean Europeans are
Speaker 1: certainly doing it. It's all in the Kamma Sutra. So
Speaker 1: how do you learn about sex? Okay? So my grand
Speaker 1: mother had a boyfriend that was much younger than her
Speaker 1: and they used to like thirty years No, no, it
Speaker 1: was probably like ten, but he looked younger than her. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she was. She was the pimple yes and they had
Speaker 1: like pornos. I remember one day I would watch I
Speaker 1: would watch The Ninja Turtles VHS like religiously after school,
Speaker 1: and I went downstairs into my grandmother's apartment and I
Speaker 1: was watching it on her VCR because I broke the
Speaker 1: one in our living room, and no, I didn't know
Speaker 1: what jerking off was. I pressed play on the VCR
Speaker 1: thinking that the last tape in there was The Ninja
Speaker 1: Turtles and it was like my baby got back Volume
Speaker 1: twelve or some goofy shit but did you watch the
Speaker 1: whole learned a lot what you learned from baby got
Speaker 1: back that my opinis was tiny because I was a child.
Speaker 1: I held my arm up to the TV because I've
Speaker 1: never seen anything like that. You just kind of slipped
Speaker 1: into a Bill Cosby impression. I don't that's how there's
Speaker 1: no Bill in me. That's good because a lot of
Speaker 1: people say that for themselves. Well you know what, he's rapist.
Speaker 1: But yeah, oh so people are not on board with that.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know. I mean as many
Speaker 1: Me and math Paboch had a long talk about Bill
Speaker 1: Cosby ain't innocent. He really truly believed that he was,
Speaker 1: and we like, I was like, oh really, oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: there's a while ago though, and I was like, I
Speaker 1: just want to talk this out with you. I just
Speaker 1: I just want to hear where you come from somewhere.
Speaker 1: He's a reasonable fellow. I agree. So that's why I
Speaker 1: was like, let's have a combough. But then by the
Speaker 1: end he was like, oh, yeah, I guess you're right.
Speaker 1: So you learned about sex from a porno, like like
Speaker 1: a lot of us, Well before that, I thought sex
Speaker 1: was kissing because I was a Disney nerd. You're a
Speaker 1: Disney nerd? Which is your favorite Disney princess? That's a
Speaker 1: good one. I like Nala, but she's not really a princess.
Speaker 1: I love she's a lie. Yeah, she's princess lyon though
Speaker 1: she's a hot lion. Um. It was always like Jasmine
Speaker 1: or Jasmine score dress Tiana. Now, yeah, she's finally have one. Yeah,
Speaker 1: a black princess. That's awesome, turned down for foot. Did
Speaker 1: you ever jerk off to a Disney princess? Have you
Speaker 1: ever watched Disney Princess? The girl dressed like a Disney princess,
Speaker 1: shed a bell costume. That was a weird Halloween. Oh
Speaker 1: and show? Were you guys at the same party? I
Speaker 1: think you're at Disney World. It was like we had
Speaker 1: known each other and we went to separate parties and
Speaker 1: met up after parties were over. Was it because of
Speaker 1: the bell costume? Or we're going to meet up no
Speaker 1: matter what, We're going to meet up regardless. I didn't
Speaker 1: know what she was doing, and then you were pleasantly surprised, like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is gonna be fun. Yeah, be my guest one
Speaker 1: on your chails. That was good? Yeah, Okay, so we
Speaker 1: got porn. And then when was your first did any
Speaker 1: family talk to you about sex? Not yet? I thought
Speaker 1: it was kissing. And I remember I went to this girl,
Speaker 1: Danielle Haughton. I didn't mean to say her name just now.
Speaker 1: People always say bad happen whatever I say first and
Speaker 1: last things. When I talk about something from high school,
Speaker 1: middle school, college, I always say first, last, same. My
Speaker 1: bad is elementary school. We were playing house in this
Speaker 1: little kitchen setup and I said, you're the mommy, I'm
Speaker 1: the daddy. We should have sex. And she said, I
Speaker 1: don't know how. And I grabbed the back of this
Speaker 1: little girl's head and I mashed our faces together, and
Speaker 1: she pushed me away that I don't want to play
Speaker 1: with you anymore. And I had a complex that gave
Speaker 1: you a complex. But why because you thought you had
Speaker 1: like bad sex? You so you're like, I'm bad in bed? No,
Speaker 1: not in bed. I know what sex happened in bed.
Speaker 1: I was raised super religious. I tried to kiss this
Speaker 1: girl and she didn't want it. L were you going,
Speaker 1: oh my god, wow? And then as my mom used
Speaker 1: to chase me out of the bathroom naked like I
Speaker 1: would bust in the bathroom when my mom was getting
Speaker 1: ready for work or whatever. She gets ready for work naked,
Speaker 1: she shower, Ok, yeah, I mean my might make up
Speaker 1: and like naked, let it go and get you and
Speaker 1: I would run. And for years I thought naked women
Speaker 1: looked like my mom naked, right, because that's the only
Speaker 1: person you know that's a woman that's naked. You were horrified.
Speaker 1: She used to like, I would get in trouble and
Speaker 1: she would show me her c section scar, like, look
Speaker 1: at what you did to me. She would say that, mrious,
Speaker 1: I probably hold that. I would probably hold so much
Speaker 1: against my kids if they were pissed me off. I
Speaker 1: saw my I remember I showered. I was a kid
Speaker 1: and I showered with my dad, and I remember I
Speaker 1: saw something hanging in between his legs and I asked
Speaker 1: him about it and he acted like what, I don't
Speaker 1: know what you're talking about. I'm like, fuck you guys.
Speaker 1: It was like five, that's weird. Yeah, I've showered. I've
Speaker 1: showered by my parents, both of them. Was the time, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: just one because I couldn't before I could shower by myself.
Speaker 1: They were like, let's just get this over with. Five. Though,
Speaker 1: I mean I might have been younger. Yeah, I was
Speaker 1: a little weird on the dad thing is the less
Speaker 1: a little weird. But I had to take a shower,
Speaker 1: you know, but your dad doesn't have again naked with you.
Speaker 1: I mean he had to take a shower. I understand.
Speaker 1: It was three. If you're like, it's like a true
Speaker 1: I couldn't he's holding but you can stand independently in
Speaker 1: the shower. I could stand independently, but I was still
Speaker 1: ship and a hut. It's hard though, because I I mean,
Speaker 1: you know, like when I would go, like I remember
Speaker 1: going to Madison Square Garden, like to see like a
Speaker 1: sports event or like the circus or something with my
Speaker 1: to with your dad and I. And when you're really little, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's going in the men's room, right, you've got to
Speaker 1: go in the men's room. I only remember actually one
Speaker 1: time ever going in the men's room, and I mean
Speaker 1: it was horrifying because my dad is such a good
Speaker 1: like he's so overprotective that he would like, you know,
Speaker 1: he's either he has to like stand by the women's room,
Speaker 1: which I mean I think most little girls are. You're
Speaker 1: just gonna be safe for going in the women's room,
Speaker 1: even if you're crawling. No little girl should going and
Speaker 1: seeing men at your alls. But I understand what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like you know Madison Square Garden, especially like the huge
Speaker 1: each place, Like what are you gonna do? Keep kid close?
Speaker 1: I was really young, though. You ever try to use
Speaker 1: a um oh yeah, asn't it like as a grown person. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean at a nightclub, because at gay nightclubs sometimes
Speaker 1: they only have like male restrooms, and uh, the toilets
Speaker 1: that are closed are such a mess that it's easier
Speaker 1: to just like if you have a skirt on, especially
Speaker 1: just just pop this and p well. I I have
Speaker 1: my back facing the wall of the urnal. Oh I've
Speaker 1: never done that because I would be afraid I would
Speaker 1: have fall back and if anything touched if you accidentally
Speaker 1: sat down, sat your vagina down in the urinal, Oh
Speaker 1: my god, no, no, just even like the back of
Speaker 1: my like on the splash thing. I I usually if
Speaker 1: there's a regular toilet at a nightclub, male or female
Speaker 1: restroom or what or at all genders, I just spread
Speaker 1: over it, be directly down into it because I can
Speaker 1: get I can get wide enough that I'm over the
Speaker 1: whole bowl. And that's the easiest, cleanest way to pee
Speaker 1: at a nightclub anyway, I sit on a seat if
Speaker 1: I know if I'm taking in public, I just don't
Speaker 1: do that. Yeah, you got my nightmare. You don't wait,
Speaker 1: you don't sit on the seat. I just don't shoot
Speaker 1: in public. I don't do it. I mean, there's so
Speaker 1: a few times in my life that it's like I've
Speaker 1: had to shoot in public. Like I just make sure
Speaker 1: because I'm like, I have a predictable bowel movements. I
Speaker 1: guess good for you. So I just I just I
Speaker 1: just calmed down, like I just like plan around it.
Speaker 1: To me, I'd rather hold in a ship all day
Speaker 1: than in public. I got a friend rented a hotel
Speaker 1: room to use the bathroom. I love that friend. And
Speaker 1: then and that's a great checked in, took a ship
Speaker 1: and checked out. Also, rich baller status, just use the
Speaker 1: bathroom in the hotel lobby, Like what the did you
Speaker 1: have the worship of his life? Some people like yeah, even,
Speaker 1: but I agree with this person, Like if it's a
Speaker 1: hundred of up bucks, if you're rich, anyway, you get
Speaker 1: a room, you have a nice private ship. You could
Speaker 1: make sure it is clean, like a hotel lobby is
Speaker 1: still very white, white, white, white until forever. It's like, damn, yeah,
Speaker 1: I was thinking about this today. I was actually gonna
Speaker 1: talk about it in the INTIL but I was like,
Speaker 1: maybe we should have those egs. But sometimes it does.
Speaker 1: Like I had the most painful ship earlier. I mean
Speaker 1: it's I didn't know I was capable of even Why
Speaker 1: was it painful because it was the most gigantic shit.
Speaker 1: I don't I think did you change? Yeah? I did
Speaker 1: you change your diet better? Yeah, I've been eating better
Speaker 1: because you have ships are always the both painful. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Poop yeah, oh I wish that's how. Yeah. When you eat,
Speaker 1: when you eat like fast food, it comes out like
Speaker 1: all mushy and diarrhea. When you eat well, your poop
Speaker 1: quality goes way up. The poops are way bigger. Like
Speaker 1: when we did that cleanse for like five days, and
Speaker 1: when we're only eating fruits and vegetables. I mean, I
Speaker 1: was shooting. I was shooting cobra. It's like I was
Speaker 1: shooting a mom, a pregnant mother, cobra. Do you think
Speaker 1: it's I think it's a hot when women talk about
Speaker 1: anything like that and anything. I just like women around
Speaker 1: me exactly. That's why I did ballet. You did ballet
Speaker 1: for eight years. I just wanted to be around girls
Speaker 1: that's really did ye oh my god. You could have
Speaker 1: like gone an A C. Moore. I don't know, like
Speaker 1: a craft store or something. There's women there there that's gay.
Speaker 1: But taking ballet classes. I mean, I don't know if
Speaker 1: that's a masculine or feminine. It's just I had ballet
Speaker 1: and I hated it. I was like, can we go?
Speaker 1: When he slower? I know everyone in my classes. My
Speaker 1: mom was like, you you're seven, calmed down? How did
Speaker 1: you get any puss in ballet? Or like at least
Speaker 1: hold girl's hands. Uh, there's a lot of hand holding.
Speaker 1: And then once we all became like preteens and you know,
Speaker 1: we started figuring our bodies out, there was a lot
Speaker 1: of experimentation with the girls in my class and overnight trips.
Speaker 1: Were you the only guy? You're going orgy with these bells?
Speaker 1: Just a lot of finger banging? You what age though? Ten?
Speaker 1: Finger banging? A ten? That was? That was fun stuff? Yeah?
Speaker 1: How did ten year old has got to be the
Speaker 1: worst fingerbanger? I was. I'm also a magicians. I've met
Speaker 1: fifteen year olds that are bad finger banker. When I
Speaker 1: was a three year old recently terrible. We're just letting
Speaker 1: out secrets without even realizing. Oh god, I mean number one,
Speaker 1: I would never a fifteen year old if there was
Speaker 1: a last person on earth, and if I did, it
Speaker 1: would definitely be a fifteen year old girl, not a
Speaker 1: fifteen year old boy. Like a fifteen year old boy
Speaker 1: makes me want a vomit. Fifteen year old girl be like, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: children in general. She was into it as well. Parents
Speaker 1: signed off. I mean, yeah, it's just not I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm not forcible. Have you ever had your fingers up
Speaker 1: two different for giants at the same time. No, I
Speaker 1: thought you were a cool man. I'm sorry that. I
Speaker 1: mean no, it's I just imagine you surrounded by all
Speaker 1: these ballerinas like doing, like doing, like a puppet show.
Speaker 1: Never I've never puppeted. Good. That's good. Actually, that's that's
Speaker 1: more respectful. When was the first time you had sex?
Speaker 1: I waited until I met a girl that I fell
Speaker 1: in love with and she cheated on me with a bouncer. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was seventeen. How long did you date before you
Speaker 1: found out she cheated on you? Well, we were together
Speaker 1: for about a year or two. I was towards the end,
Speaker 1: how do you find out? She called me. I was
Speaker 1: on tour with a play and I was like eight am.
Speaker 1: She was like I don't want to do this anymore
Speaker 1: and I was like school, yeah, it's not for everything.
Speaker 1: She was like, no, this relationship and I was like,
Speaker 1: you couldn't wait until after shows. I was doing a
Speaker 1: play and we were have like two shows a day.
Speaker 1: First one will be at nine am and then there's
Speaker 1: another one at like noon. What play it for? Like
Speaker 1: school kids? Okay, touring children? So I used to love
Speaker 1: because I was like anything to not be in class,
Speaker 1: This is amazing. And so what did you think went
Speaker 1: through your head? I was devastated. I started drinking and smoking,
Speaker 1: and at sevent now by this point, I was like eighteen,
Speaker 1: And have you ever drink, drank and smoke before? Oh,
Speaker 1: she broke your heart. You picked up the bottle. How
Speaker 1: did you know that would fix it? It didn't. That
Speaker 1: was a joke, yeah, but like, how did you even
Speaker 1: get the idea where your peers already doing that? Yeah?
Speaker 1: It was a drug prevention drug awareness play. Okay, so
Speaker 1: of course everything was like you learned all about the drugs,
Speaker 1: sucked up fun times just snitching on people right now? Well,
Speaker 1: I mean you have to give full names, like Hey,
Speaker 1: I used to play calling this episode, shout out to Danielle.
Speaker 1: Have you talked to her in a while? Na? She
Speaker 1: have a scar on one of my eyebrows because she
Speaker 1: hit me with a lunch box deserve second second grade
Speaker 1: was the first time I talked to her since the
Speaker 1: bad sex incident. And I gave her a flower and
Speaker 1: she hit me. We were on the staircase coming back
Speaker 1: from lunch. I gave her a flower and she hit
Speaker 1: me in the face with a plastic lunch box that
Speaker 1: had a thermos in it. No means, what was the
Speaker 1: what was on the lunchbox? I don't remember some princess
Speaker 1: or not Rainbow right, I think it Jesus, I don't remember.
Speaker 1: How old are you? Okay? Rainbow Bright's a little after
Speaker 1: your time, before your time then, yeah, that was like
Speaker 1: eighties ship you were too you were too youngest. Did
Speaker 1: you do relationships? Are you your track record? You don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know what I do anymore because I feel
Speaker 1: like you love the ladies. I love the ladies, but
Speaker 1: I'm wondering, like, do you like being in a relationship?
Speaker 1: With the ladies or would you Are you at a
Speaker 1: point in your life where you're just like just get
Speaker 1: it in and worry about I will say that I've
Speaker 1: outgrown uh sex for the sake. It's like meaningless sex
Speaker 1: or with somebody. If I don't have a connection with you,
Speaker 1: I can't. So there was a period of time in
Speaker 1: which you could just suck sake. Never a dude's wife.
Speaker 1: I like that. You just covered your own mouth. I
Speaker 1: don't know what brand am I present Nickelodeon and Disney Channel. Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: that was Weird Square Comedy Club. Oh that's even weirder.
Speaker 1: That's the weird part. That's way so far. Did you
Speaker 1: know that she was married and they invited me for
Speaker 1: whiskey and they so the couple okay, and then off
Speaker 1: in the corner of the hotel room. It was a
Speaker 1: cuckold thing. Yeah, well that doesn't count. Shout out that
Speaker 1: to Nickelodeon and yeah, that's like he was that's cuckolding.
Speaker 1: That's not I didn't know there was a name. He's
Speaker 1: right there. He could have stopped drinking off. I didn't
Speaker 1: know it was. Did he say anything or did you
Speaker 1: hear him? Growing? It got weird because he was like
Speaker 1: circling around like a little dogie. Someone's banging out with
Speaker 1: a dog like a little pup, little husky. Was this
Speaker 1: idea proposed to? Like? How how did what was that?
Speaker 1: Do you want to fuck my wife? Just that? And
Speaker 1: I said, she's right there, dog and she goes, yeah,
Speaker 1: do you? It was like, were you pure pressured into
Speaker 1: sucking someone's wife? It was drinking. I think I was too.
Speaker 1: They were remember their names? Are you okay? I mean,
Speaker 1: are you okay? It was fun, It was It was
Speaker 1: fun until I caught a glimpse of him spanking it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean he kind of knew. It was like, I
Speaker 1: need you to not like just stay over there. Yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: did you say that to him? Because you have your
Speaker 1: boundaries that you need to voice. Don't come on me, bro,
Speaker 1: Oh my god? Did he eat us? Now? How long
Speaker 1: did it last? How long were you fucking her? It
Speaker 1: was quick? It was like twenty minutes. That's not that quick.
Speaker 1: That's like a normal amount of its like I think
Speaker 1: twenty minutes is actually the act, well to fifteen, I
Speaker 1: like a fast twenty. I would say twenty is the
Speaker 1: once I got a lot of time on my hands.
Speaker 1: Then I'll do those seven extra minutes. So who came first,
Speaker 1: you or the husband? I think it was him. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I wasn't. I don't know because I did
Speaker 1: the same thing with my boyfriend. But I came first
Speaker 1: and then before he did, and he was working a
Speaker 1: girl and I was like, oh this sucks. I hate this.
Speaker 1: Like after I came, I was like, what are we
Speaker 1: even doing? Let's go out? Yeah? Yeah, yeah it was,
Speaker 1: but it was also a couckling thing, like I was
Speaker 1: that guy in the chair jerking in the corner until
Speaker 1: you wanted to watch your boyfriend. Yeah, hell yeah, that's different.
Speaker 1: Thank you. You're you're so I feel like you're like
Speaker 1: a pretty lot more calm than I thought you. Everybody
Speaker 1: thinks I'm a coke head. Well your behavior, Matt, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was not bringing coke into it. I just thought you,
Speaker 1: like I meant, like as far as my energy bouncing
Speaker 1: off the walls and stuff. Yeah, no, you're very calm.
Speaker 1: Thank you. Well, because I mean because I got some
Speaker 1: sex today, so I'm chilling. You did right before you
Speaker 1: came over here. You went to the aquarium store, not
Speaker 1: the aquarium, the aquarium store. I had to pick up
Speaker 1: some fish food and stuff. Oh is this a girl
Speaker 1: that you've been seeing or are you dating her? Or
Speaker 1: shout out to Danielle and good are you dating or
Speaker 1: just sucking? It's it's difficult because I'm you're in l A. Yeah,
Speaker 1: do you live there now? Kind of? Okay? I didn't
Speaker 1: because one day you were just like amo a. I
Speaker 1: didn't have a choice. I had to go for work,
Speaker 1: and I was like, all right, I guess I'm some stands.
Speaker 1: I'm riding the wave. Right. How has the TV industry
Speaker 1: treated you so far? It's been dope? Really? Yeah, that's fun.
Speaker 1: So have you ever witnessed any sexism? Probably not because
Speaker 1: you're racist. Yeah, that's probably more not directly indirect racism.
Speaker 1: I went for a role and then I found out
Speaker 1: that I didn't get it because the kids were Uh,
Speaker 1: I was just gonna play a father. The kids were dark,
Speaker 1: lighter than me, and it wouldn't have looked convincing. There's colorism,
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah. I mean I've seen people not cast
Speaker 1: somebody because of the height or the weight. Where the
Speaker 1: fucking they already have the costumes ready for a role
Speaker 1: black cop, for roles for black men. The words Sassy's
Speaker 1: probably never in there, right because every time we talk
Speaker 1: to a black woman who goes out for roles act,
Speaker 1: really the black cop had to be fucking sassy. God damn. Yeah.
Speaker 1: You know, there's like a very specific way that they
Speaker 1: that casting people want black women to act on screen,
Speaker 1: And it's like even weird for me at this point,
Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, we get it. I know lots of
Speaker 1: other types of black people to insecure on HBO great,
Speaker 1: a much broader spectrum of the range. Yeah, absolutely so,
Speaker 1: Uh am I doing this. I'm not good at podcasts. No,
Speaker 1: it's we I think we're just doing I think we're
Speaker 1: a little bit flabbergasted about how like calm and like
Speaker 1: sweet you are, because yeah, because I turn up like no,
Speaker 1: so you should do who you are? Yes? Does alcohol
Speaker 1: make you bounce up and down? Oh? Yes it does.
Speaker 1: What are you talking about? Then? What are you doing
Speaker 1: when you're drinking alcohol? Are you actually doing cocaine? Is
Speaker 1: that just energy level? Every time I see you is
Speaker 1: through the charts, Even when we're like filming a sketch,
Speaker 1: like the fucking Halloween video, you were just killing at
Speaker 1: the whole time backstage. Is that just like entertainment Matt
Speaker 1: Richards entertain us about with sex stuff. Um m hmm,
Speaker 1: tell me a story. Let me think he's eating a
Speaker 1: cannoli right now. It's very good, amazing. Did you try one?
Speaker 1: I will? You know what's going on podcast. We're gonna
Speaker 1: have to do sce. We're we're gonna do a cannoli
Speaker 1: break where we are just play something like Italian looks
Speaker 1: like the best stucks you've ever had, Like the craziest shucks.
Speaker 1: I'm hooked up with two sisters from from England. That
Speaker 1: was weird. That was after a show at New York
Speaker 1: Comedy Club. Always I'm always freaked out by siblings having
Speaker 1: like three, Yeah that's I don't know. Yeah, it still
Speaker 1: freaks me out. But like, sisters act very Some sisters
Speaker 1: act very forlorty with each other. Not in an inceston.
Speaker 1: I don't know, Like I don't know. It's twins. No, no, okay,
Speaker 1: because twins I can see, because you're you're so connected
Speaker 1: that I can see that. And what was their pitch
Speaker 1: or was it your pitch? Hanging out? We got McDonald's.
Speaker 1: We went back to their hotel room. One of the
Speaker 1: sisters fellas they were sharing a bed, so one of
Speaker 1: them fell asleep on the bed and me and the
Speaker 1: other sister started hooking up on the floor bed. Sister
Speaker 1: wakes up and she goes, are you too fucking and
Speaker 1: not inviting me to the party? Fish accent? And I
Speaker 1: looked at the floor sister and she goes have at it,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, sweet, Yeah. So I took
Speaker 1: a selfie and sent it to my dad. He was
Speaker 1: very proud. Wow during sex. Yeah, he took a selfie
Speaker 1: during sex. But it was just you. How did you
Speaker 1: know you were telling the truth? Wait, can you show
Speaker 1: me a picture it? So what's the right time your
Speaker 1: dad like that you were sending him pictures of you
Speaker 1: haven't see I don't understand this weird because I am
Speaker 1: a daughter and mom and daughters don't really act like that.
Speaker 1: But what is this thing where like sons and dads
Speaker 1: can talk about sex so graphically with one another, and
Speaker 1: there's like the sense of pride in conquering in a
Speaker 1: son conquering that a dad feels. Can you explain this?
Speaker 1: You should write a book. I've been fascinated by concert.
Speaker 1: I always thought it because they felt like they had to.
Speaker 1: But I think it's at a certain age the father.
Speaker 1: The father's goal is to live vicariously through his son.
Speaker 1: So maybe I've wondered that when my boyfriend's dad's flirt
Speaker 1: with me, like when I was a school I'm like, you,
Speaker 1: sneaky dirt, a little bastard. Yeah, because when you know
Speaker 1: your boyfriend's dad sees, he's like, hey said, upgrade from
Speaker 1: the last one. See we moved up from trolls. Yeah
Speaker 1: you Oh my god, you're down to fucking pretties. That's great. Okay,
Speaker 1: my boy, what's is there any did you have your
Speaker 1: dinniver has said anything like really awkward in front of
Speaker 1: a girl. You were saying, uh, no, okay, it's just
Speaker 1: really chill, have really together family. Everything is cool. Your
Speaker 1: parents still married? Nah? For tax purposes, I don't say
Speaker 1: that unique. They split up after after nine eleven up.
Speaker 1: That's what I thought for a while. I was like eleven, ten,
Speaker 1: eleven years old. I mean, did they have Did nine
Speaker 1: eleven directly affect them? Nah? I thought I thought I
Speaker 1: blamed al Qaida for a minute, well, because it's like
Speaker 1: they're so stressed out about terrorism. At least you didn't
Speaker 1: blame yourself. I didn't blame myself too. For a little bit,
Speaker 1: but it was mostly al Qaida. Yeah, well okay, so
Speaker 1: what was was there a real reason that you ever? Yeah,
Speaker 1: of course because of not eleven? Right, They're like, they're
Speaker 1: better people away from each other. Okay, well that's a
Speaker 1: lot of people. It's almost good. Do you think it's
Speaker 1: almost good though, that you truly thought al Qaida broke
Speaker 1: them up? Or Not eleven had to play part of it,
Speaker 1: be because learning at a young age, Like my parents
Speaker 1: separated when I was eleven, and I like when I realized, like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, they don't love each other anymore, like
Speaker 1: the things I thought, like broke my heart. Oh god,
Speaker 1: it was most upset I've ever been. So but if
Speaker 1: I had, you know, something blaming on that wasn't them,
Speaker 1: I feel like I feel made me want to join
Speaker 1: the Marines. Really I didn't. Okay, I'm scared of guns?
Speaker 1: Oh us too? Yeah, No, I just went to a
Speaker 1: shooting range the other day to getting not scared of guns.
Speaker 1: I went to a shooting range out in l A
Speaker 1: and there was a Russian woman standing like a lane
Speaker 1: next to me, but she was just waving the revolver
Speaker 1: and I'm like, hey, yeah, yeah, I mean people do die.
Speaker 1: I mean I thought I I looked up all the
Speaker 1: statistics for the place that I went beforehand, and the
Speaker 1: only death was a suicide, in which case I was like,
Speaker 1: I was keeping it environmentally friendly. He wasn't wasting anything,
Speaker 1: you know. Um, But yeah, I don't know what's the
Speaker 1: what's the weirdest thing you've ever incorporated into sex? Like
Speaker 1: you've eaten Cheetos? Have you ever done like a weird
Speaker 1: sex toy or blood play? Just wished for thinking on
Speaker 1: my part blood Can you imagine if he said yes,
Speaker 1: how happy would you be? I know, like if he
Speaker 1: was so registered, like regular and normal and in love
Speaker 1: and then he was like, yeah, I cut some bitches. No,
Speaker 1: I've never cut anybody. Okay, that's more me. That's more.
Speaker 1: I had a girl out and when she was like
Speaker 1: the period was almost done. But that's fine. Oh that's
Speaker 1: not what we mean by blood play. Okay, Well that's
Speaker 1: the closest I've been. I've run a couple of red lights.
Speaker 1: I've had some c s I sex, but I've never like,
Speaker 1: what are you like? Pouring it from my play is
Speaker 1: like more like a vampiric kind of influence where you're
Speaker 1: actually cutting someone's skin but not near their vagina like
Speaker 1: your arm, and then you like drink each other's blood
Speaker 1: some horsh ship. Have you tasted and your blood accidentally
Speaker 1: or on purpose? I don't think so. Okay, a shower
Speaker 1: period came down pennies in my mouth. I was gonna
Speaker 1: say what it tastes like copper, tastes like fucking pennies,
Speaker 1: And I was freaked out. Your freaked out because she
Speaker 1: was freaked out because she looked and she's like, you bleeding,
Speaker 1: Like how do you not know that this is you? Well,
Speaker 1: because sometimes it stops water or when you're turned on.
Speaker 1: Mine stops when I'm turned on, like when I'm having sex.
Speaker 1: But you said it's just started in the shower, right,
Speaker 1: like like you came down, you started the shower. No period,
Speaker 1: it doesn't. It just it's kind of a ride. We
Speaker 1: were in the shower was just you know, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: you can't tell. I mean there's when I'm like waiting
Speaker 1: for my period to come, there's a lot of like
Speaker 1: me going off in a corner and like literally like
Speaker 1: I'll like put my hand next to my vagina like
Speaker 1: over my pants and then smell it to see if
Speaker 1: I smell metallic stuff because like you don't always know
Speaker 1: you can't. It's not it's not like you feel like
Speaker 1: RiPP and then it just floots. That's not how in
Speaker 1: coming er And then it's like a truck backing up.
Speaker 1: But it's your period, yea, And I wish we got
Speaker 1: a fucking I do anything I can to like not
Speaker 1: wear a pad or tampon as long as possible, me too,
Speaker 1: me to just wait. I hate it. And then you're
Speaker 1: all of a sudden in the middle of dlane read
Speaker 1: I've been sent to buy, uh, what is the proper tampons?
Speaker 1: Sanitation that's only like bathroom signs, stuff like that, my sanitationus,
Speaker 1: sanitary trash, pussy trash. I've been sent to get stuff
Speaker 1: like that from my sister and my mom and stuff.
Speaker 1: But it's never been weird. It's weird when I bring
Speaker 1: them back the wrong ship. And then yeah, well, I
Speaker 1: mean it's very hard. I can realize. I can't imagine, like, yeah,
Speaker 1: the aisle and like as someone who has never had
Speaker 1: a period and trying to pick out something, there are
Speaker 1: so many different kinds of pads and tampons. It's like
Speaker 1: cardboard applicators. Oh, they're so dumb. I know, I don't
Speaker 1: mind them. I hate it. It like punches my I
Speaker 1: just like no applicator, which is not that's not I'm
Speaker 1: not I'm going to use one of my next I
Speaker 1: have a lunette cup which I got at a ARIAD
Speaker 1: panel that I did. Yeah, but I mean I don't
Speaker 1: know because they're like, oh, it's so safe, it's so effective,
Speaker 1: but then like, if you take it out wrong, you
Speaker 1: can splash yourself in the face with blood, and I
Speaker 1: was like, I mean that's a risk I never want
Speaker 1: to even be. You gotta boil it to clean it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so you do you have a separate pan just for that,
Speaker 1: I mean I guess. So I don't know. The whole
Speaker 1: thing seems I don't know. Are they I would guess
Speaker 1: probably not, because anytime I've put like anything that has
Speaker 1: a very specific shape and it's small like that like
Speaker 1: drain covers and stuff, it makes it it sucks up
Speaker 1: the shape when you put it in the dishwasher, because
Speaker 1: I mean, I think they would just say dishwasher if
Speaker 1: you could, because then I would totally rinse it, like
Speaker 1: I put dog toys in the dishwasher because it's your dog. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you should put your vagina stuff in the dishwasher too, Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I don't think you can because it'll ruin the shape.
Speaker 1: Some like sex ones you can put them. Yeah, but yeah,
Speaker 1: I have the spatula I put in the dishwasher once
Speaker 1: and now it's bent. Well, you never know, because sometimes
Speaker 1: they're fucking with you when they says wash, say no,
Speaker 1: when they say not recommended for dishwasher, Like it's totally fine,
Speaker 1: but then sometimes like it really is not fine, and
Speaker 1: you don't know. I feel like you're so much. I
Speaker 1: feel like you're a good boyfriend. Now that I've seen
Speaker 1: this different calm side of you, I'm like, way to set,
Speaker 1: pretty good boy, you're probably a great boyfriend. What's like
Speaker 1: the worst quality you exhibit when you're in a relationship? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I forget you forget you know exactly what it is. No,
Speaker 1: I forget ship. Oh I'm bad. Yeah, I'm bad at
Speaker 1: what like birthdays? Birthday That's why I carry a fucking
Speaker 1: iPad everywhere. Calendars and something kind of your phone also
Speaker 1: as a calendar. But what small what do did you
Speaker 1: have like a crazy fight with a girlfriend because you
Speaker 1: forgot something really big, a big deal. I had a
Speaker 1: girl break up with me? Um because I forgot. I
Speaker 1: forgot to call her about something and she showed up
Speaker 1: at the comedy club. Oh and yeah, it was a
Speaker 1: whole scene. She took a ring that I bought her
Speaker 1: and threw it, and uh, that's how Derek Gaines and
Speaker 1: I became friends. Wait, you forgot what you even had
Speaker 1: a caller about? I don't I still don't remember. Wow,
Speaker 1: and she didn't tell you to have you? Maybe was like,
Speaker 1: come call to meet me at dinner to meet my parents.
Speaker 1: A terrible story because I don't remember. Wait do you
Speaker 1: always have? Do you have a bad memory and all
Speaker 1: aspects of your life are only in relationships? What do
Speaker 1: I mean? Like you? Do you have trouble remembering things
Speaker 1: like you know your spot time or appointments? Okay, so
Speaker 1: usually you're a person with a bad memory. I forgot
Speaker 1: who's on stage after I bring them up on stage.
Speaker 1: Oh I always thought that was because you're drunk sometimes.
Speaker 1: Oh well, I have a bad memory because I'm so
Speaker 1: scatter brain, so I really don't absorb things like a
Speaker 1: d D. That's why I have like mad fidget spinners.
Speaker 1: Everyone's got a goddamn fidget spinner and it's up every
Speaker 1: day of my life. In the past twenty seven days,
Speaker 1: someone has brought up a fidget spinner. The Internet said
Speaker 1: today that their son from Satan. They're like Seth sex
Speaker 1: and now I want one Tommy Sammy thing. They were
Speaker 1: souls out at party City and har sold sold out
Speaker 1: of fidget spinners. And I'm not fidgety, so I didn't.
Speaker 1: I was not interested. I did last night, Mike A
Speaker 1: fox is one, but she broke it because she was
Speaker 1: she's real good at it and she spins from high
Speaker 1: high distances from the ground. Yeah, that probably too, but
Speaker 1: it was okay. I mean I was like, okay, stuff
Speaker 1: like that is just like to me, Like, I don't
Speaker 1: know timewaster. I went to an outback steakhouse and the
Speaker 1: person was doing it. How do I even do this
Speaker 1: with your index finger? My index finger and then and
Speaker 1: you spin it? Oh? Like, how do I It looks
Speaker 1: like a futuristic birth control pill holder? Do you feel
Speaker 1: Eddie's correct? No? I feel like, God, why am I
Speaker 1: holding this fucking thing? And I could be getting so
Speaker 1: much other things done with this hand? What? What is
Speaker 1: this is so dumb? Do you have sex to us? No?
Speaker 1: I mean it's not the future. This is why the
Speaker 1: future it won't be happening as fast as it should,
Speaker 1: because we're all going to be doing that. I got
Speaker 1: a fleshlight from Lisa Anne oh model after her vagina
Speaker 1: vagina at the bottle one. Yeah, how how is it?
Speaker 1: I heard? I didn't use it for a while. I
Speaker 1: was afraid of what of Lisa's pussy? She wanted you
Speaker 1: to use it? I mean, I guess, yeah, I used
Speaker 1: it and then I couldn't. What does one think of
Speaker 1: when they're fucking a fake pussy and it's just a
Speaker 1: p o V porn or something. Okay, so you don't
Speaker 1: look down at your dick and the thing. If you're
Speaker 1: in a hotel, you take the pillows and you buto
Speaker 1: them and you stick it in there so it's like
Speaker 1: you're fucking. So you make like a fake lady out
Speaker 1: of pillows and you put the fake flush where vagina
Speaker 1: would be. Oh that's so sweet. I mean that, it's
Speaker 1: very sad. The whole act of jerking off with a
Speaker 1: flashlight is pathetic. Is if you have to rinse it out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but but it doesn't feel better than your hands. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: So I don't think it's pathetic. That's just you using
Speaker 1: a fleshlight and like getting the best out of it.
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess where do you guys keep your
Speaker 1: sex toys? And been in my closet by the bed.
Speaker 1: I give them to other people. I hate sex toys, yeah,
Speaker 1: except for anal beads, and then those are just like
Speaker 1: usually in like a plastic like container store type thing,
Speaker 1: like in my bed because I didn't know where to
Speaker 1: keep a fleshlight that was like in your closet, I mean,
Speaker 1: not in plain sight. I would say that it's not
Speaker 1: nothing to be embarrassed about. But just like I don't
Speaker 1: like when I go to someone's house and I like
Speaker 1: see their fucking dildo, like you just hanging out like ill,
Speaker 1: That's what more it is to me. I'm not it's
Speaker 1: not embarrassing. I'm not judging you. I'm just like gross.
Speaker 1: Like Grandma used to host passion parties. We need to
Speaker 1: get her on the pod has some freaky, freaky stories. Um,
Speaker 1: I remember I ate a pair of edible underwear just
Speaker 1: because you were hungry. I thought it was candy's like
Speaker 1: a fruit by the foot basic, No, that should stuck
Speaker 1: to the roof of my mouth. I felt like Barney, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like because it's a it's chewy candy. Has have
Speaker 1: you ever known edible underworker? Weren't it? Oh? God? No.
Speaker 1: I hate putting food product because I'm like, how does
Speaker 1: that go? What is he going to slowly eat it?
Speaker 1: But then it's like fruit by the foot. But then
Speaker 1: once you break it from the body. I saw one
Speaker 1: just shoving your amount. They were gummy panties and there
Speaker 1: was like an elastic strap and it's just a gummy
Speaker 1: fucking thing that goes over the vagina with an opening.
Speaker 1: So I guess you can suck wall. That's well. I
Speaker 1: mean I have had a crotous crotchless panties or crotchless suits.
Speaker 1: That's cool because that is a problem sometimes. And I
Speaker 1: like hate when people try to rip my clothing. I'm like,
Speaker 1: this isn't sexy, this is just my property. Is anybody
Speaker 1: ripped your clothes? I mean people try to be like
Speaker 1: sexy and take things off too fast, and I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
Speaker 1: whoa whoa whoa, whoa, whoa whoa. I broke the girls
Speaker 1: bra and then I realized how expensive those ships are. Dude,
Speaker 1: I was like, did you try to do the one
Speaker 1: hand or take her off her? No? What the funk happened? Uh? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I remember I got her Victoria's secret gift card to
Speaker 1: replace the broken brother. Very happy. Yeah, Oh this is fun.
Speaker 1: I'm very big on like, uh, fucking in public. Oh,
Speaker 1: it's fun, like the idea of maybe getting caught. I
Speaker 1: can't tell you how many times in like Washington Square
Speaker 1: Park I've been fingering a chick on a bench, or
Speaker 1: Madison Square Park. A lot of the park, A lot
Speaker 1: of park's finger Very few parks in the city that
Speaker 1: I haven't gotten into something park. Yes, whoa which one
Speaker 1: down by the village? What is that one? That's Washington
Speaker 1: Square Park? Yeah, with the arch where the fund. Did
Speaker 1: you go to bush? No, there's like secluded little areas
Speaker 1: of the cut night or day. Oh yeah, no, one's
Speaker 1: on the grass at night night. Yeah, there's a lot
Speaker 1: of drug addicts there. It was cold, it was very cold.
Speaker 1: It's like winter term. Have you ever gotten caught? Not
Speaker 1: that I know of. I'm sure there might be a
Speaker 1: World Star video Black Guy Chicken Park. Oh, they're also
Speaker 1: like pooring on the World Star every now and then.
Speaker 1: Oh nice, I didn't really go I don't really go there.
Speaker 1: I don't think I was welcome. You are I am
Speaker 1: world Stars for everybody. Do world Star videos that like
Speaker 1: go viral or so funny? Like I only see one
Speaker 1: that go viral, But I'm like, god, damn, it's funny.
Speaker 1: I got to be a producer on the world Star
Speaker 1: TV series. That was pretty Oh that's awesome. Yeah. Do
Speaker 1: you feel like you use being like funny or like
Speaker 1: inviting girls to see you perform live as four play? Uh?
Speaker 1: Not as four play. It is kind of emotional for
Speaker 1: play a little bit seeing somebody do their thing, and
Speaker 1: it's yeah, because I know, like guys some other way
Speaker 1: to maybe like odd. Before I go on a date
Speaker 1: with a girl, I want to make sure she sees me.
Speaker 1: Duke Calm Bryan rees. Yeah, almost everyone I know doesn't.
Speaker 1: I just didn't know if you if I I guess
Speaker 1: because of my schedule. If anything, if I meet a
Speaker 1: girl first, we'll come to the show and we'll hang
Speaker 1: out afterwards. Yeah, day dates are weird. Yeah, you gotta
Speaker 1: get up early early for you, So I invite him
Speaker 1: to a show or I'll meet a lot of the
Speaker 1: girls I've dated have been women I've met at shows.
Speaker 1: What's that like? Tell us weird because you're we get
Speaker 1: together because you saw me be funny. You understand that
Speaker 1: funny is a part of my life. And then it's
Speaker 1: you think everything's a joke. Really, but but you don't
Speaker 1: seem like right now, you don't seem like you're a
Speaker 1: person who thinks everything like we can have a serious conversation.
Speaker 1: I'm totally capable of having. But I do there's a
Speaker 1: lot of low hanging fruit sometimes when it's a serious
Speaker 1: conversation that I don't want to be having as use
Speaker 1: it to humor, to deflect, not to deflect. I mean,
Speaker 1: that's what you just explained flex boring. Next, I mean memory.
Speaker 1: I said that I heard dementia infested mother has a
Speaker 1: better memory than That's sad. What were we talking about?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, we were talking about you deflecting. I
Speaker 1: think you being too silly in conversations forgetting so Anther
Speaker 1: topic came if you're famous person? Um, divine famous? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's in a commercial best by commercial with a very
Speaker 1: popular person. Um we were high school or can't I
Speaker 1: can't say her name? Of course that lives in the village. Actress,
Speaker 1: comedian actress. It was getting a little steamy, and she
Speaker 1: asked me to take her dog out before as it
Speaker 1: was getting steamy. Yeah, And I was like, well, I
Speaker 1: volunteered to take the dog out. Was a little Yorky
Speaker 1: and I fucking forgot what apartment she was in. I
Speaker 1: forgot the building. I forgot the fucking street building that
Speaker 1: you didn't find. Phone was dead, We didn't fux something
Speaker 1: stuck outside with her dog and I didn't know where
Speaker 1: to take the dog to. What happened? Me and the
Speaker 1: dog were outside for a while and then finally come out.
Speaker 1: She's like, I had to put pants on for this ship.
Speaker 1: What then was taking you song? I was like, I
Speaker 1: was just standing in front of the CVS on six
Speaker 1: s half did she but like, I mean, because now
Speaker 1: I know that you have a bad memory, so that
Speaker 1: makes sense to me. But was she like? Really, are
Speaker 1: you why you wanna be like I did? LEG forgot
Speaker 1: because I do witness women getting mad at men for
Speaker 1: reasons that I understand them getting mad, but like, if
Speaker 1: your memory is that bad, I'm gonna get mad at you.
Speaker 1: But also your memory is bad, so it's like, well,
Speaker 1: who's right and who's wrong? Can you improve can you
Speaker 1: like work to improve I've been playing these memory apps
Speaker 1: and to actually they don't help me. A little ginko bloba,
Speaker 1: I'm about to pick some up. Yeah, I don't know
Speaker 1: if that really works. I take it just because I'm
Speaker 1: afraid of like just going getting old and losing my
Speaker 1: mind basically, So I think that's yeah. No, weed is great,
Speaker 1: but it does affect your memory. No, I think I
Speaker 1: remember better. Hi, I mean I don't think that's how.
Speaker 1: My boyfriend also has a terrible memory, and I gotta say,
Speaker 1: I know it's not really his fault, but it it
Speaker 1: does drive me crazy. It's annoying, I know, because as women,
Speaker 1: I feel like you guys hate repeating yourselves. We will. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm just like, I don't know. It's like I'm like how,
Speaker 1: I'm like, how do I remember like my schedule and
Speaker 1: someone else's schedule and you can't even remember one schedule?
Speaker 1: Like it's frustrating, Like right, but yeah, but you're not
Speaker 1: trying sometimes, like right, fucking something now, is it? Though? Genetic?
Speaker 1: I think women are better at organizing. No, I think
Speaker 1: that's true. Women are better, But then I think men also,
Speaker 1: like how stammaculate, they don't like work out that part
Speaker 1: of their brain because women are always doing shipped for them,
Speaker 1: and then that that part of their brain goes unused.
Speaker 1: Women step up to the plate in that area, and
Speaker 1: so men are like just being capable of it. I
Speaker 1: mean actors in stage plays that last three hours, they
Speaker 1: memorize their lines, but that it takes that's weeks of rehearsal.
Speaker 1: But everyone for my play rehearse from my girlfriend seeing it.
Speaker 1: Sometimes love takes a lot of work, yes, and then
Speaker 1: you realize maybe love isn't enough sometimes, and then you're like,
Speaker 1: work on me. I don't know. I wasn't getting sad.
Speaker 1: I am getting sad. That's true. I mean, right, do
Speaker 1: you feel love is always enough? Love is enough sometimes?
Speaker 1: But no, no, what's love got to do with it?
Speaker 1: Sometimes a lot and sometimes absolutely nothing? Yeah? Big, lad
Speaker 1: is big. I can know he's my boy from leg
Speaker 1: what's he wants the comedian flood not to have? That
Speaker 1: is just lad? I love that, you know to what
Speaker 1: I knew? Right, I knew. I was in high school
Speaker 1: and he dated the girl that was she was awesome,
Speaker 1: but she was in a wheelchair. But it just seemed
Speaker 1: not right, like it seemed like he was taking advantage
Speaker 1: of her, But how do you take advantage about someone
Speaker 1: in a wheelchair handicap parking? You know, like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: maybe let me use your pass real quick, I gotta
Speaker 1: run to seven tag tag, please go to war on
Speaker 1: her a lot or like well, well he would write
Speaker 1: on her chair. It was a that's fun. Though, that's fun.
Speaker 1: But I feel like he wanted I don't know, I'm
Speaker 1: I mean that this is my perception. It probably has
Speaker 1: nothing to do with what he was as a person,
Speaker 1: but I was like, yeah, but like what if she
Speaker 1: wants to get away and she's on the bed because
Speaker 1: he put her there and she can't. Oh, so you're
Speaker 1: I was just worried about being used as a sex prop. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: I think people in wheelchairs are horn ear than people
Speaker 1: that aren't. You know, my boyfriend's dad is in a
Speaker 1: wheelchair and uh, he couldn't get his well, I don't
Speaker 1: I think I could tell the story. There was a
Speaker 1: viagra stage because he couldn't. He had a spinal cord injury.
Speaker 1: And then after like a week they were like never again.
Speaker 1: So he just lost the the feelings and yeah, because
Speaker 1: you can't walk, you know, I would say, well, but
Speaker 1: I mean if I think if you would, if you
Speaker 1: were not paralyzed in the groin a then totally all
Speaker 1: that bumpiness in the chair might get you go on.
Speaker 1: Hell yeah I would. I totally did in a wheelchair. Yeah,
Speaker 1: me too, in his wheelchair. I think it'd be hot.
Speaker 1: Would you do that? I wouldn't in a wheelchair. A
Speaker 1: wheelchair we have to lift to take her out of
Speaker 1: the wheelchair, not necessarily. It's called scooch scooch scooch towards
Speaker 1: the edge of the seat. And then but you'd have
Speaker 1: to bend your You really have to have some dexterity there.
Speaker 1: Her legs up. Person's legs don't have to be all
Speaker 1: the way up in the air to fun. I don't
Speaker 1: like I'm trying to figure out actually, like when the
Speaker 1: legs are closed tight. I don't know why because this
Speaker 1: is cruption. I mean, you lift him up and you crossed.
Speaker 1: How do you have sex? How do you do you
Speaker 1: think sex is? Uh? What did you forget again? No?
Speaker 1: I didn't forget. You asked me how do you think sex? Was?
Speaker 1: Like banging the heads together? And now what do you
Speaker 1: think sex is? What? Sex? Do you know? You're trying
Speaker 1: to convince us that I know what it is. Okay,
Speaker 1: I have it all the time. How often are you
Speaker 1: I don't have a whole phase? Yeah I had a
Speaker 1: huge whole phase. How what what does a whole phase
Speaker 1: look like to you? Like? What would you describe as
Speaker 1: a whole phase too? Personally? Like woman a night, a
Speaker 1: multiple woman a day? Yeah, every day like that. This
Speaker 1: was happening a lot. Whoa how did you find the energy? Wow? Wings? Wings?
Speaker 1: But I realized later it was because I was trying
Speaker 1: to phil a void. I got dumped and it hurt
Speaker 1: really bad, and I was like, I'm just gonna they anyway.
Speaker 1: But do you think that's always what fucking like a
Speaker 1: lot of people is Do you think it's always feeling
Speaker 1: a void? Because I feel like a lot of people
Speaker 1: have that. But some people just like yeah, they just
Speaker 1: really like right, that was good at it? That was
Speaker 1: my question. Yeah. Um, if there's a real void inside
Speaker 1: and you fucking is the last thing, I know, we're
Speaker 1: not helpful. If I'm a little bit sad, it doesn't
Speaker 1: it doesn't help if that's what you're using it for. No,
Speaker 1: it makes you feel sadder eventually. Have you ever had
Speaker 1: whether it was in that host stage or otherwise like
Speaker 1: a girl that wouldn't leave, like a clinger, someone who's
Speaker 1: just wanted to like, because I feel like I could imagine.
Speaker 1: It's very funny seeing you try to politely tell a
Speaker 1: woman to leave your home. There's a while I wasn't
Speaker 1: bringing chicks back to where I live. Why just because
Speaker 1: what was wrong with that? Is your house smell? No,
Speaker 1: dear wife, do you have a dog? I had a
Speaker 1: basement apartment under my mom's house. They knew there was
Speaker 1: something there. Well, I mean, does she come down separate
Speaker 1: entrance to so nobody ever know? You could have just
Speaker 1: been like, I'm renting a room. That's yeah, you tell
Speaker 1: you the truth. You could have been and if your
Speaker 1: mom said anything, you'd be like, well, then this is
Speaker 1: what the naked monster did to me, my landlord? What
Speaker 1: if she if one if the girl was downstairs and
Speaker 1: you guys were sucking and your mom ran in me,
Speaker 1: it is what the hey? What do you need? Julie?
Speaker 1: Want to see my C section? Scar? Oh? God, I
Speaker 1: hope this runs sex for you forever, damn it. Okay,
Speaker 1: So the girl you're dating now, what is is how serious?
Speaker 1: How how long has it been what's then unofficial for
Speaker 1: like a long time? What's a long time? Five years? Whoa?
Speaker 1: And have you had sex other people in this time?
Speaker 1: Isn't it exclusive? Okay? We don't know, like she doesn't
Speaker 1: know what to call us for five years? Yea? Why
Speaker 1: don't you make some illa? It sounds like that. I
Speaker 1: mean that's but I mean see a lot of times
Speaker 1: we see this with the genders reverse, But I mean,
Speaker 1: why don't you want to commit you? At a certain point,
Speaker 1: you just got to be like, what the fun? Want
Speaker 1: to date her? I like I would, But now it's
Speaker 1: been totally cool just sucking or like just seeing each other.
Speaker 1: And when we see each other, yeah yeah, yeah, So
Speaker 1: it's kind of like you guys have an open relationship.
Speaker 1: You don't say I love you? Do you? I definitely
Speaker 1: do love her? Have you said that to her? Is this? Oh? Damn? So?
Speaker 1: But but I mean, are you incapable of falling in
Speaker 1: love with someone else? Why you still have feelings for her?
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to fall in love with anything, I know,
Speaker 1: because that's the only thing. Because it's it concerns me
Speaker 1: a little bit that you've been in this position for
Speaker 1: five years and maybe you're not being treated with his
Speaker 1: heartstrings just pulled, didn't rush? I love you both. She
Speaker 1: had a boyfriend when we met. It was like the
Speaker 1: side dude for a while and you were sucking her
Speaker 1: and then he was in the corner jerking off. I
Speaker 1: didn't know. Okay, okay, he didn't know we were hooking up.
Speaker 1: Did he find out? No? I still he had his suspicions,
Speaker 1: but hope. Daniel Haughton's boyfriend shout out, I got it.
Speaker 1: This is bad that I said her name. Can we
Speaker 1: believe that had it? A lot? A lot that's wrong
Speaker 1: with I mean, is there? I mean yeah, but that's
Speaker 1: sorries horrible? Yeah, yeah, I mean I've said people's first
Speaker 1: Facebook message. I'll be like, hey, look I was talking
Speaker 1: about on the podcast. Maybe see if she listens, unless'll
Speaker 1: say something that she doesn't. She walks right, I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna say nothing, and then she hits me up like alert.
Speaker 1: I don't want fans to like started hashtag fine Daniel,
Speaker 1: Save Daniel. They would have trouble spelling the last name.
Speaker 1: I think wi. I was gonna go h O U
Speaker 1: G A A something like well, what a surprise, terrible member.
Speaker 1: Do you forget your own birthday ever, Uh if I'm busy. Look,
Speaker 1: I forgot that I'm getting ready to go to Arizona.
Speaker 1: But I forgot that my birthday weekend was the weekend
Speaker 1: that I said yes to go. When they gave the dates.
Speaker 1: You didn't. You didn't say something looks familiar about these things.
Speaker 1: It was like the weekend of Yeah, it was like
Speaker 1: the twelve to the sixteenth or whatever, And I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: my birthday, Oh okay, okay, oops, my birthday the first
Speaker 1: thing I think of, Like so many people give us dates,
Speaker 1: I'm like my birthdays and there I'm not available. I
Speaker 1: know my birthday the second February first comes around, like
Speaker 1: it's my birthday for a whole month. Yeah. My parents
Speaker 1: were always trying to throw me birthday parties, but I
Speaker 1: never wanted one. Why. I don't know. It felt weird.
Speaker 1: You didn't like the attention, because I feel like you
Speaker 1: enjoy attention. I didn't in that way. Wow, celebrating your life,
Speaker 1: but like laughing at your humor, I get weird. I'm
Speaker 1: a weird motherfucker. What's the weirdest um quality about you
Speaker 1: as a boyfriend other than the forgetting things or like
Speaker 1: as like some strange I do anything weird in bed.
Speaker 1: I used to bite my tonnails in bed. Actually no, no,
Speaker 1: why do you can you suck your own dick? No,
Speaker 1: I tried, everybody's tried. I have not tried to eat
Speaker 1: myself out though me neither. I feel like it's a
Speaker 1: little more. That's a little more tricky because even if
Speaker 1: I got there, I would have to spend so much
Speaker 1: time there to make myself neck. You got a stiff neck,
Speaker 1: my neck would hurt. Move it after Anyway, I don't
Speaker 1: think I'm not into butt stuff, doing it or receiving
Speaker 1: it both both. Has a girl ever tried to put
Speaker 1: a finger up your butt because you slapped it gross
Speaker 1: back there for a reason? Ros? No, you're not. Maybe
Speaker 1: or not. One time I went down on a girl
Speaker 1: that had like these toilet paper dingle berries. Yeah, well
Speaker 1: that happened. It happens. Yeah, would you? I mean, I
Speaker 1: would be horrified if I were you in that moment,
Speaker 1: But at the same time I didn't know and we weren't.
Speaker 1: Like if it's a girlfriend we've been together for a while,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to give a funk. But I mean
Speaker 1: one time I had toilet paper in my ass, and
Speaker 1: Steven told me, and I was like, yeah, but I
Speaker 1: was also insulted and embarrassed, but also I'm glad he
Speaker 1: told me, and so I was like, yeah, he loses
Speaker 1: either way. I feel bad for him. I get it
Speaker 1: stuck in my vagina more than in my butt. There's
Speaker 1: a lot there's a lot more space there, and the
Speaker 1: vaginic gets sucked in. Yeah, in the folds, in the folds.
Speaker 1: Do you ever see yourself getting married one day? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: one day, I'd like to have kids and yeah, but
Speaker 1: for now it's fish tanks and I just got two
Speaker 1: baby snakes. Don't want to snake so bad. I'm like,
Speaker 1: does that mean I'm evil? But whatever? I grew up
Speaker 1: with gardner snakes in my yard. Who was taking care
Speaker 1: of them? And do you feed them? Live? Mice? Mouse? Wow?
Speaker 1: Is that yourself? One background? Yeah? Wow? Snake a bounce
Speaker 1: is Prince David Bowie. That's amazing, a cute. Can you
Speaker 1: cut like play with it? Like can of not cuddle?
Speaker 1: But like I take them out and chill and he
Speaker 1: never tries to bite you. I got bit before I
Speaker 1: flew out to New York by David was drunk and
Speaker 1: trying to feed him with the tongs and dropping the
Speaker 1: mouse hold the tale. Yeah, but he was going for
Speaker 1: He didn't bite you on purpose? Did it hurt? Do
Speaker 1: snakes that are your pets get excited when you come home?
Speaker 1: And how do they show that? I can't tell? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was gonna say that would The only thing will
Speaker 1: bother me is like, you can't tell if they love
Speaker 1: me or not. They don't. They're snakes, they don't probably
Speaker 1: probably Why am I in a cage? Can please put
Speaker 1: me in the forest, sucking asshole? Yeah? Well, I mean
Speaker 1: as long as I think that as like they're warm?
Speaker 1: Isn't that the one thing that snakes just want to be?
Speaker 1: Like warm? I eat? See, I couldn't handle the feeding
Speaker 1: them the lot the other animal and seen that dead mice?
Speaker 1: Oh that one looked a lot that wasn't that was
Speaker 1: alive when I had to wean him off of live food.
Speaker 1: So you would give them like a live mice and
Speaker 1: a half alive mice, and then a dead mouse live
Speaker 1: and then so you can you go to the pet
Speaker 1: store and buy like a tin frozen micel. I would
Speaker 1: still feel bad, but yeah, okay, yeah, my roommates not
Speaker 1: too happy about them in the freezer right, well, because
Speaker 1: continue just to be imagined, like being born only to
Speaker 1: be murdered, to be fed to something else living It
Speaker 1: just seems I mean, I know that's a deep thought
Speaker 1: for but I would I would think about that every
Speaker 1: time there's a movie about that. It really sucked up,
Speaker 1: like kids were well know, the kids were born to
Speaker 1: harvest organs. I forget what the movie it was, but
Speaker 1: it really fucked me. Is this fiction and nonfiction? Uh? No,
Speaker 1: it's it's fiction. It's fiction. I was like it was
Speaker 1: like it was a film. I was like, oh, no,
Speaker 1: something else about about the kids are getting harvest? Did
Speaker 1: you guys hear people don't know about sex traffic gag?
Speaker 1: What is it the pedophilia in Hollywood? Have you guys
Speaker 1: heard anything? I've heard about pool parties that weren't good
Speaker 1: for some little boys. Yeah, what what do you know
Speaker 1: about it? We talked about sex trafficking a lot, which
Speaker 1: is I think under that semum. Yeah, I think that
Speaker 1: needs to be talked about because, yeah, do you have
Speaker 1: anything experiences with like you've you've seen witness somebody go
Speaker 1: through that, or you've overheard something. This episode of sponsored
Speaker 1: by Nickelodeon. Yeah, but not in the way you think.
Speaker 1: Not if you're a child. Oh my god. Okay, so no,
Speaker 1: but seriously, like, what you know about pedophila rings in Hollywood?
Speaker 1: I don't like. Okay, I know I've heard one uber
Speaker 1: driver bring it up to me and I was like,
Speaker 1: what didn't I given off a vibe? Yeah? And then
Speaker 1: is that your unusual source or drive? Fooper driver has
Speaker 1: been putting me on a game sometimes. I was like,
Speaker 1: I didn't I need to know this. So I'm watching
Speaker 1: all these documentaries and I'm finding out how sick some individuals. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is bad. I don't even know why I brought
Speaker 1: that up, but that was well. No, we talked about
Speaker 1: pedophilia on the podcast whenever it comes up. But and
Speaker 1: then I found out that there's like people that are
Speaker 1: trying to get that recognized as a as a thing,
Speaker 1: a sexual orientation. Yeah, that's well, we talk about it more.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's as like mental health care as it's
Speaker 1: a mental disorder, because I mean definitely there's people who
Speaker 1: haven't they don't act on right, and there are people
Speaker 1: who like, you know, just real like their monsters fucking
Speaker 1: kill them. I like, I don't think that's the solution either.
Speaker 1: I think you know, obviously you have to recognize this
Speaker 1: is not a safe thought to have for these children.
Speaker 1: I think if you touch a kid, you should be
Speaker 1: castrated and eating alive by ants. Okay ants, huh yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: I think you should be taking out of society and
Speaker 1: brought into a mental health care facility and hopefully we
Speaker 1: retrained to function normally in society. But that's t a
Speaker 1: tomato tomorrow. I different, different, It's so fine, Um, we
Speaker 1: have to wrap. But is there anything you want to
Speaker 1: end on? Where can we find you? What do you
Speaker 1: want to promote? What do you got? Um? I have
Speaker 1: a new show coming out on MTV called High Crimes, Congratulations,
Speaker 1: Nice to High and Self Crimes. We get high and
Speaker 1: talk about criminals. Okay, that's cool. Oh that sounds really fun. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I'm just I've done a couple of pilots smoke
Speaker 1: weed on a television. Well, I guess we smoke weed
Speaker 1: and then we go on camera nice and then what
Speaker 1: else did you have usdo? Uh? I gotta show that
Speaker 1: just got no. I got Edmonton, Canada and Arizona coming
Speaker 1: up as far as I don't know when this airs Friday, Friday. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: touring and where can they find you? Matt was funny
Speaker 1: on everything. He was funny, but then he forgot. I
Speaker 1: forgot how to be. I do have a website for
Speaker 1: tour dates. Nah, post that ship online? Right, okay? Alright, perfect,
Speaker 1: so Instagram, Twitter, etcetera. Well, thank you so much, Thank
Speaker 1: you guys for having me. It's really good to see you.
Speaker 1: Miss y'all too. We do audion l as hit me.
Speaker 1: You guys are going to Minnesota. We are going hell
Speaker 1: yeah where? Uh Minneapolis, Minneapolis? What are you doing? All right,
Speaker 1: we'll talk about a second Anti Suching Me podcast. We'll
Speaker 1: talk to you next week. The Stressed, Beat to the Mother,
Speaker 1: Nick Stripe for the Nest and Blessing. They hate be
Speaker 1: Bro and that's something that's that s. I don't know
Speaker 1: this this set. I don't know that that sheet. I
Speaker 1: don't know that's this sht up in the morning, be
Speaker 1: Stressed and Beat to the Mother, Nick Stripe for the Nest.
Speaker 1: Next in a while, niggas hate be Bro and that's
Speaker 1: something that's that s. I don't know that's that set.
Speaker 1: I don't know that's that ship. I know that's that ship.
Speaker 1: I know I know do I need niggas? No, nigga say,
Speaker 1: don't know better what need but to deal running place
Speaker 1: for her dough. She says she thinks she claims she
Speaker 1: won't somebody somebody somebody and she think I'm don't one
Speaker 1: one one one I dotted people wanted to I ain't
Speaker 1: with it. That don't keep me being the money mind
Speaker 1: new I don't straight life. That no chase what you
Speaker 1: want to pay to pray? She didn't want to check
Speaker 1: in a lot? Hit me how I live in ho
Speaker 1: my lifestyle? Maybe you I ain't stressed. Get to the
Speaker 1: mother Nick stright for this God and blesses nigga's they
Speaker 1: hate be bro and that's something. That's that ship. I know,
Speaker 1: that's this ship. Today's show was sponsored by talk Space,
Speaker 1: the online therapy company that believes therapy should be affordable, confidential,
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