Speaker 1: Welcome to Guys We Fucked. Guys We Guys Book. I'm Christina,
Speaker 1: I'm Karren. We're sorry about last night, the anti sluck
Speaker 1: shaming podcast. I never stopped yo fucker's Welcome to another
Speaker 1: episode of Guys We Fuck. It's the anti slot shaming podcast.
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Speaker 1: Hell yeah, you come see us Love U Philadelphia on Friday,
Speaker 1: August eleven. There was initially one show. You guys have
Speaker 1: bought so many tickets that we now did two shows.
Speaker 1: There's an eight pm and eight ten pm show. It's
Speaker 1: at the Victoria Freehouse. I'm headlining James is featuring use
Speaker 1: Code Alfred for fifteen dollar tickets, and I think like
Speaker 1: the APM is almost sold out, So if you're thinking
Speaker 1: of coming by those tickets A S A p um
Speaker 1: and the ten o'clock has like twenty tickets left. Then
Speaker 1: the next day Baltimore, Saturday, August twelve, at nine pm,
Speaker 1: I'm going to be at a restaurant called Joe Squared again.
Speaker 1: Same thing, uh Me headlining James featuring Code Alfred for
Speaker 1: fifteen dollar tickets, and Paul is going to be there.
Speaker 1: So that's like a celebrity event. Yo. You in the Hantons,
Speaker 1: why you so rich? Come see us. Wednesday, August exteenth,
Speaker 1: We're doing a free show at rush Meier's and mont Talk.
Speaker 1: We're very excited. Get there early. And then on Saturday,
Speaker 1: August Wendy Starling and I are co hosting the two
Speaker 1: year anniversary of Glamourpuss. We're so fucking excited. The show
Speaker 1: is gonna be nuts. It's at Zinc Bar as always,
Speaker 1: eighty two West third Street in the West Village. Tickets
Speaker 1: are fifteen bucks. You're gonna gonna want to miss this
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Speaker 1: did I say? That was the week after? Yeah, I
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Speaker 1: but this is happening, you know. Just look at my
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Speaker 1: It's really fucking fun. And then Toronto, Canada September twenty
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Speaker 1: tells us that they hate the ads again, I mean
Speaker 1: only like two people who said that. I actually only
Speaker 1: saw compliments about the ads. Yeah, me too. It's like,
Speaker 1: it's so funny. It's like the two people you know.
Speaker 1: It's it's exactly what a job for free in your office.
Speaker 1: It's exactly what happened when Blink one d two started
Speaker 1: getting successful, and everyone's like they fucking sold out. It's
Speaker 1: like it's really under commercially because they started making money.
Speaker 1: But it's like, I think it's really unfair because artists
Speaker 1: are so often like, just do it for the art. Yeah, guys,
Speaker 1: we were doing it for the art ship a fucking decade.
Speaker 1: And then I didn't want to live in an apartment
Speaker 1: infested with mice anymore. What a bit whan across my pillow, Dude.
Speaker 1: There was some days too much trend did not get
Speaker 1: any sleep, but they were much. I missed a dinner
Speaker 1: with my mom because I had no sleep and I
Speaker 1: couldn't even keep my calendar in my head. And then
Speaker 1: she called me and it made me cry because I
Speaker 1: was so sleep deprived too. Okay, guys, so just let
Speaker 1: us do the fucking ads um. The two people that
Speaker 1: have criticized us, I don't think. I don't forget. I know,
Speaker 1: Christina gets very you get very sensitive. Like if anyone
Speaker 1: says I didn think negative, I I get. I'm just
Speaker 1: I'm just, uh, I just know how wrong they are,
Speaker 1: and I want them to know. I know mostly everyone
Speaker 1: says negative thing is all the time, and I just
Speaker 1: like I'm like, well that's fine. I don't care. We're
Speaker 1: doing what are you doing? Everything that's good, really good.
Speaker 1: So James he has he doesn't work at his like
Speaker 1: day job anymore, I mean not like a you know,
Speaker 1: conscious choice. But we don't need to talk about that. Uh.
Speaker 1: And I was and I was kind of like worried
Speaker 1: that he was gonna be spending like too much time
Speaker 1: around because he doesn't live with me. But I mean
Speaker 1: he basically the past like month plus has been living
Speaker 1: at me and like kind of been my house boyfriend. Uh.
Speaker 1: And you mean your living boyfriend like that or like no,
Speaker 1: I mean, like you know, like the saying house husband,
Speaker 1: like say at home husband, oh, which is my secret
Speaker 1: dream that I try not to express to people too
Speaker 1: much because I want them to follow their dreams. And
Speaker 1: he's fucking killing it. He's been like he's actually I'm
Speaker 1: having more of a bombing a couple of weeks in
Speaker 1: my career. I need to write fresh jokes. But he's
Speaker 1: been killing it. Uh, and he's so funny, and uh,
Speaker 1: I feel it's just more like I feel like I
Speaker 1: always talk or like make fun of him on the podcast,
Speaker 1: and I know and I don't mean to always do that,
Speaker 1: but it's just like I feel uncomfortable sharing um good
Speaker 1: stuff about him because that's my thing and I don't
Speaker 1: really want to share that with other people because then
Speaker 1: it's somehow tarnishes it for me. I kind of wrote
Speaker 1: about this in the book It's a weird thing, like
Speaker 1: when I share things with other people at rooms, for
Speaker 1: which podcast was a nightmare idea from the beginning obviously. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I was really be worried about like him spending
Speaker 1: too much time around me and that I wasn't going
Speaker 1: to like him because I have an intense fear of
Speaker 1: living with someone, I understand that don't want people in
Speaker 1: my space. I think it's I think people who live together,
Speaker 1: like I truly think it's crazy, which I've talked about
Speaker 1: many Yeah. I mean Steven and I lived together and
Speaker 1: we work from home all day. I think that's really
Speaker 1: It doesn't bother me that, but it's just every once
Speaker 1: in a while, I just need to be alone in
Speaker 1: a room for one. The key with you guys, though,
Speaker 1: is you have the duplex. Yes, that's a key, huge.
Speaker 1: I think that's Yeah. If I could someone could be
Speaker 1: on a different level and like I couldn't see their
Speaker 1: face no matter what direction I looked in without opening
Speaker 1: or closing the door. I think that would be great.
Speaker 1: And yeah, and I was talking to my friend Rosebud
Speaker 1: and I was just kind of and she was like, oh,
Speaker 1: how are you guys doing just you know, and I
Speaker 1: was like, we're actually doing great because I can't I
Speaker 1: can't believe that. I like, like, you know, it's like
Speaker 1: when you find out you like your boyfriend. Well, when
Speaker 1: I moved in with Semen, I was like, I really
Speaker 1: hope this goes. It could either it could go one
Speaker 1: of two ways. Move in right, and it went the
Speaker 1: good way with him, and I so was like proof,
Speaker 1: thank god because they could have gone because two people
Speaker 1: can still love each other and be compatible but also
Speaker 1: just not live well together and that's a bummer. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: because I've been trying to get a better like asking
Speaker 1: for specifically what I need, and I was like, what
Speaker 1: I need for you is like I need like I
Speaker 1: need someone to take care of me right now. Like honestly,
Speaker 1: I was like, We're so busy all the time. I
Speaker 1: feel like I'm running around constantly. I need like those
Speaker 1: like mom things in my life taking care of because
Speaker 1: I go home my apartments just in complete disarray. I
Speaker 1: need like my plants are dying. I don't want them
Speaker 1: to die. I don't like that. I want to make
Speaker 1: sure that Alfred's getting an appropriate amount of time where
Speaker 1: he feels loved. And you know, some people are very
Speaker 1: weird about their dog, like they don't want any I
Speaker 1: think Alfred honestly likes James better than me now. But
Speaker 1: he was still very excited. When we got home from Montreal.
Speaker 1: He ran out into the hallway and it was like
Speaker 1: he was it was like he was the town crier
Speaker 1: and telling everyone on my floor that I was home.
Speaker 1: He ran up and down in the hallway and was
Speaker 1: barking and like just letting everyone know. It was like
Speaker 1: a glorious day. And then James did feel bad because
Speaker 1: he's like I didn't get welcome like that, and I
Speaker 1: was like, well, I'm still his mom and his mother,
Speaker 1: but he he maybe sees James is like the littermate
Speaker 1: kind of dynamic. That's my dad was telling me when
Speaker 1: he got his dog trained that that was his role,
Speaker 1: and my mother was more of the master. Well, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna cuddle Alfred knows, like when I come home, he's
Speaker 1: gonna get cuddled and stroked, and I'm gonna tell him
Speaker 1: he's the cutest boy in the whole world. And like
Speaker 1: James is going to play a rough game of tug
Speaker 1: of war with him and run around the apartment and
Speaker 1: like the world. Yeah, so it was great, but yeah,
Speaker 1: I just like I I And this is like James
Speaker 1: isn't like paying me to do this or anything. He
Speaker 1: doesn't say nice things. Oh I know that he doesn't
Speaker 1: listen to the podcast anyway, which is one of my
Speaker 1: favorite quality. That's awesome. That's good to um, but he
Speaker 1: uh yeah uh. And and and when you. But when
Speaker 1: you do get that support, it's like man like like
Speaker 1: when Steven con FedEx star Book, I was like that
Speaker 1: it just it means, it means the attraction is um on.
Speaker 1: It takes it to another level because it's like, God,
Speaker 1: I respect like, thank you for being so supportive and
Speaker 1: wonderful and well, I think it's also like sometimes as
Speaker 1: like you know, kind of being a feminist or a
Speaker 1: strong woman, You're like, I want to do everything yoursel
Speaker 1: don't ask for help, and I don't want to admit
Speaker 1: that I some of like things like I just need
Speaker 1: to be kind of like taken care of because everyone's
Speaker 1: like it's like, yeah, I could have done all that myself.
Speaker 1: Who would have driven yourself nuts? But it's like a
Speaker 1: lot nice or to have someone do that for you,
Speaker 1: you know. And then I walked outside to go to
Speaker 1: the gym, and you know, a guy said to me,
Speaker 1: you have great legs, and I said oh, and then
Speaker 1: he said, uh, want you just try black Dick. And
Speaker 1: I'm thinking, in my hey, you obviously don't know me
Speaker 1: at all, because that was tried for all. That was
Speaker 1: all I was doing for a while, and it was
Speaker 1: great thumbs up, but you know, what zick doesn't make
Speaker 1: everything so no, you know, not at all. It's just
Speaker 1: you know, nice to not be get called. Um yeah,
Speaker 1: that's it. I don't know in a really long time. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: I mean, I there's something that I specifically hate more
Speaker 1: than anything about being cat called in workout gear because
Speaker 1: it's like I am trying to better myself and I
Speaker 1: am so mad at I'm extra mad at you right now. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm extra mad at all of them. Well, I get
Speaker 1: like the drunk bro. I'll just like be outside smoking
Speaker 1: a cigarette and they'll try they'll like tease me. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I I will put the cigarette out in your eye.
Speaker 1: I don't care. Why will they tease you? How? They'll
Speaker 1: just be like, oh oh you oh you didn't go
Speaker 1: out tonight. It happens to me all that. That's one
Speaker 1: thing that happens to me is I didn't go out. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I'm like, they're well, no, it would be like three am.
Speaker 1: And I'm so like when we're writing the book, like
Speaker 1: the book at it. I always write the book at
Speaker 1: like between the hours of midnight and five am. I
Speaker 1: swear to guy, guys, if you don't buy this fucking book,
Speaker 1: it's really good. But but you know I would be
Speaker 1: I'm sober. I'm not drinking when I'm writing a book
Speaker 1: because I'm really trying to concentrate and focus, and so
Speaker 1: I'll go outside just to like I'll smoke a cigarette.
Speaker 1: I just want to not be inside for a second.
Speaker 1: And then a lot of the dudes and some of
Speaker 1: the girls, but mostly the dudes are like, well, no
Speaker 1: one to go out with later, you want to come
Speaker 1: back to my place? Like I would rather eat my shoe.
Speaker 1: That's your go to a lot, eat my shoe. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you talk. I have a joke where I don't know
Speaker 1: about you. In the past life, I died for meating
Speaker 1: a shoe. What a dumb bit of eating your shoe? Now,
Speaker 1: because I would just not eat the shoe, I must
Speaker 1: have died from that. Maybe like you were in some
Speaker 1: in some kind of an internment camp and they force
Speaker 1: fed you your own shoe. Maybe that really triggered me
Speaker 1: right now? Oh man, Okay, let's read some emails. This email.
Speaker 1: Do you have anything else? Well, I I don't know
Speaker 1: when you said triggered. It reminded me of a conversation
Speaker 1: I had in Montreal, and I don't know. I don't
Speaker 1: think this was said to me in like in privacy,
Speaker 1: but a girl didn't come up to me. And I
Speaker 1: don't want you to think I'm making fun of you,
Speaker 1: but I definitely am that she came up to me
Speaker 1: and she was like, there's a restaurant named egg slut.
Speaker 1: Do you think that's okay? And I go, yeah, I
Speaker 1: think that's okay, and she was just like I just
Speaker 1: felt kind of triggered by it, and I go, no,
Speaker 1: I and she was like, Okay, Well, I just think
Speaker 1: it's I think it's all that's fucking that's a little much.
Speaker 1: I'm glad it happened because I think it's good to
Speaker 1: sometimes check in with ourselves. It's like, when are we
Speaker 1: taking a quality too far? Well, no, but that's not
Speaker 1: even to me, not a quality. It's not a quality
Speaker 1: at all. That is um, that's being overly sensitive. I
Speaker 1: really think because I and I and i've always my
Speaker 1: whole I've always been hesitant to say that because I
Speaker 1: don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. Ever, fuck that you're
Speaker 1: being a little too sensitive, right, And I less someone
Speaker 1: specifically called you an egg slot as they were doing
Speaker 1: something horrible to you. If someone was maybe I would
Speaker 1: get someone was like raping you while stuffing eggs into
Speaker 1: your mouth. I can understand being triggered by it, but
Speaker 1: I didn't ask her about and that was not and
Speaker 1: even still she wish she's sexually assaulted. So she just
Speaker 1: she just said, you got called. So did I, And
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, that's why we're all here. Yeah,
Speaker 1: make some money off that bitch um no tricks, bitch
Speaker 1: no no no. But then uh, but I mean the
Speaker 1: thing is that it's like, but I was. My kind
Speaker 1: of response was, well, you can be a slept for
Speaker 1: many things. And I was like, number one, I don't
Speaker 1: think anything is wrong with the word slut, true truly.
Speaker 1: And number two, uh, I'm an egg slut for sure. Eggs.
Speaker 1: I have three bags of boiled eggs. Eggs are my
Speaker 1: favorite food. They because it's one thing that I enjoy
Speaker 1: eating anyway, there's not any I think another parod that
Speaker 1: anyway I've ever had it. Well, actually I hate no,
Speaker 1: I hate wave of stren cheros. I just love us. Well.
Speaker 1: I hate the egg white is running because it's like no,
Speaker 1: no, no no, no, no no, I got when breakfast is mixed
Speaker 1: with a non breakfast food, I don't salsa and eggs
Speaker 1: in my opinion to not go together breakfast read although great,
Speaker 1: but just no saw so with I've just gualcam only
Speaker 1: we could do because that's avocado can be broadest picky bitch.
Speaker 1: I'm actually not picky at all, but that's just one
Speaker 1: thing that I really just can't handle. Okay, thanks everyone
Speaker 1: read this email. Sugar Daddy cheated on me with my mom. Okay,
Speaker 1: Hey girls, my name's and I'm not gonna say it.
Speaker 1: Recently turned eighteen, I keep getting my heartbroken. I'll try
Speaker 1: my best to make this story short. I've been single
Speaker 1: for about four years until I met this guy and
Speaker 1: got into a quote relationship. He never became my boyfriend,
Speaker 1: but we both liked each other and talked every single
Speaker 1: day for about five months. Then, while watching Wonder Woman
Speaker 1: Good for You with my family, he messaged me saying
Speaker 1: that he no longer liked me. It hurt greatly. I
Speaker 1: remember holding in my tears that I later shed before
Speaker 1: I slept. My insecurities were multiplied by a million. I
Speaker 1: can't stand looking at myself and would feel like it
Speaker 1: was one of the reasons why he didn't like me. Well,
Speaker 1: confidence is is an attraction uh, so I took my
Speaker 1: friend's advice be a hell ended up taking a plenty
Speaker 1: of guys, taking too plenty of other guys, which ended
Speaker 1: up ignoring me after a while. Then I met a
Speaker 1: man who wanted me to be his sugar baby. He
Speaker 1: told me that he wanted to spoil me with money
Speaker 1: and gifts. He was twenty nine attractive and wanted me.
Speaker 1: My stupid ass agreed, knowing well that he wanted sex
Speaker 1: and more import importantly, my virginity. He technically was my boyfriend.
Speaker 1: That's what he told me. But something happened that I
Speaker 1: guess sucked it all up. My mother sex that a
Speaker 1: man who obviously was a catfish and asked for six
Speaker 1: hundred dollars or he would send it to everyone. I
Speaker 1: told her to block him and on everything and to
Speaker 1: deactivate Facebook. She wouldn't listen and continued saying that she
Speaker 1: needs that money. So out of guilt, I told her
Speaker 1: about my sugar daddy, and I told him about the
Speaker 1: whole situation. They ended up talking to each other and
Speaker 1: he pretty much told her to do the same thing
Speaker 1: that I told her. She did and the problem was solved.
Speaker 1: She was okay with me being with him. Which puzzled me,
Speaker 1: but I ignored it. A little while later, I decided
Speaker 1: to look at her phone, something I'm not sure was
Speaker 1: good or bad. I saw her messages with him and
Speaker 1: automatically started crying. He said, He repeated, this is between us.
Speaker 1: Your daughter doesn't have to know, and she would say
Speaker 1: things like stroke it slowly, so no photos or videos
Speaker 1: were sent. But the way they talked was absolutely disgusting.
Speaker 1: She saw me and said, nothing happened. He likes you
Speaker 1: best of all, she said, don't be dumb. He has money.
Speaker 1: She was willing to let me have sex with him
Speaker 1: for money. When I told her that I didn't want
Speaker 1: to talk to her to her anymore, she got mad.
Speaker 1: She told me that if I didn't listen to her
Speaker 1: that she'd take my phone away and make sure that
Speaker 1: I won't go outside for anything. I couldn't stop crying,
Speaker 1: and that's when my grandmother came in. I told her everything.
Speaker 1: She yelled at my mother, asking why she would let
Speaker 1: her daughter act like a prostitute. I guess things are
Speaker 1: good now, but I just don't trust my mother. I
Speaker 1: don't feel like talking to her at all, but I
Speaker 1: want to act like things are normal or I won't
Speaker 1: be able to hang out with my friends anymore. Uh,
Speaker 1: and yes, I'm mad at him too. I refused to
Speaker 1: talk to this p some absolute shit. With that all
Speaker 1: being being done, it pretty much ruined my summer and
Speaker 1: birthday that was two days later. I want to look
Speaker 1: for someone who likes me for me, but that seems impossible.
Speaker 1: I guess I wrote this to finally let it all out.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you guys will read this, but
Speaker 1: I hope so to get some kind of response back,
Speaker 1: some kind of support. I feel like that, I feel
Speaker 1: like I need. I am hurt, and I honestly don't
Speaker 1: know what to do. Here's a photo of me if
Speaker 1: you're interested. Um, before I end this email and say
Speaker 1: that I enjoyed the podcast and thanks for doing what
Speaker 1: you do. So your mom sex, did the older guy
Speaker 1: that you fuck maybe for money? That whole thing is
Speaker 1: bad and none of none of that's good, I mean
Speaker 1: being I I know people in sugar daddy situations that
Speaker 1: are truly, truly healthy, and I I'm honestly in awe
Speaker 1: of and shocked that I didn't even know that that
Speaker 1: type of relationship could be emotionally healthy. Um, and it's
Speaker 1: nice this seems weird. One that your mom. I get
Speaker 1: what she's saying. I get the the girls saying about like,
Speaker 1: why wasn't my mom weirded out that I was having
Speaker 1: sex with a guy eleven years older than me for money?
Speaker 1: I get, like, I know that some sort of like
Speaker 1: there's no chance to rebel or anything like that. That's
Speaker 1: a lot weird. So this is a person in a
Speaker 1: sugar daddy situation that who is very young. I know,
Speaker 1: I know a situation you're talking about that that's that person. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a woman who is when you're lying man, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean. And it's also like you don't want to
Speaker 1: sugar daddy to be one of the first relationships that
Speaker 1: you're in in your life, like one of your first
Speaker 1: adult relationships. I mean, daddy can work if you if
Speaker 1: you both are very very clear and defined about what
Speaker 1: it is each of you are looking for in that relationship.
Speaker 1: But you're eighteen. How can your mom tell you what
Speaker 1: to do? Is she paying for your cell phone? I
Speaker 1: don't know anything. It seems like they still live together.
Speaker 1: You live together right under the roof. Fine, you want
Speaker 1: to obey the rules in the house. I get it.
Speaker 1: But you're when you're eighteen, your fucking mom can't take
Speaker 1: away your phone unless she's paying for it. When you
Speaker 1: live with your mom, you're still I I think that
Speaker 1: you you want to respect. It's not even respect, it's
Speaker 1: just like obviously you have to when your parent is
Speaker 1: so financially uh responsible for like where you're living, you
Speaker 1: have to pay by the roads because then they can
Speaker 1: just take it away from totally, totally, totally well and
Speaker 1: also to you say you're having trouble finding guys that
Speaker 1: will like you for who you are, But you know,
Speaker 1: the sugar daddy situation is not that they don't they
Speaker 1: like you because you're a young, hot, eighteen year old chick.
Speaker 1: I mean that's you know, and I used to be
Speaker 1: naive to that fact very often when I was when
Speaker 1: I was young. They can tolerate you and hang out
Speaker 1: with you, and you're not fucking annoying. Yeah, but yeah
Speaker 1: you might, Yeah exactly, they're not like I just love
Speaker 1: her personality and her eighteen year old pussy. Um but yeah,
Speaker 1: wait just I I guess I had this sense of
Speaker 1: urgency to find a boyfriend when I was a teenager.
Speaker 1: I guess I don't really remember it. But I hear
Speaker 1: this so much from young women of like, no one
Speaker 1: any young men that are in their teens, no one
Speaker 1: likes me? What there seems like such there's so in
Speaker 1: a rush to find a relationship. I say, if no
Speaker 1: one likes you, probably doing things right. That's That's what
Speaker 1: I say. You're really thinking outside the box. I don't know,
Speaker 1: just or you're like a murderer or something. If murderers
Speaker 1: are pretty charismatic. If everyone likes you, then you're probably
Speaker 1: you're doing it wrong, like a personality chameleon, because no
Speaker 1: one's that likable. I mean, have you met people don't know?
Speaker 1: Um no, but it just just don't there's this rush
Speaker 1: to be in relationships that it's just you gotta be
Speaker 1: okay by yourself. And then when you get to the
Speaker 1: point where you're okay by yourself, you don't feel a
Speaker 1: sense of urgency to get a partner just for the
Speaker 1: sake of having one who gives a ship. It's life
Speaker 1: is more. Why would you be with somebody who is
Speaker 1: who doesn't treat you the way you want to be treated,
Speaker 1: or doesn't have these qualities, you know, these core basic
Speaker 1: moral qualities that you want to require of a partner,
Speaker 1: don't waste your time it's lonely or to be sad
Speaker 1: with someone just than just to be miserable alone. And
Speaker 1: I really also think it's a bad idea that young
Speaker 1: to be uh thinking of a man as a money
Speaker 1: provider or or you any partner. But I just think
Speaker 1: that's because you know, I've heard stories of young men
Speaker 1: getting into things with older women for financial reasons. I
Speaker 1: think that's very dangerous. I think it's okay to perhaps
Speaker 1: to do that later kind of like given yourself a
Speaker 1: break from life. But if you start that, you're setting
Speaker 1: a precedent for yourself and you're just gonna become you're
Speaker 1: gonna lock yourself up and attack yourself to romantic of
Speaker 1: relationships for financial reasons, which is always always like, cannot
Speaker 1: We've talked about it so many times before. It's a
Speaker 1: really dangerous situation. Even if you're married, you should be
Speaker 1: able at any day to financially walk away from that person,
Speaker 1: super important. Can't. Can't say it, don't create a trap
Speaker 1: for yourself for that's that is something that you can
Speaker 1: actually avoid. Yeah, and if you got married too early,
Speaker 1: and if that's already happened to you, go out get
Speaker 1: to get more education, asked for that promotion, like truly, truly,
Speaker 1: And it's not saying that you'll ever break up. I
Speaker 1: hope you guys never break up whoever I'm talking to
Speaker 1: in the abyss but Lisa and Brian, um okay, and
Speaker 1: then also yeah, and then also just never fun the
Speaker 1: same person as your mother, just um, no matter what
Speaker 1: it's Honestly, I just know your mom has a little
Speaker 1: grown up maybe a rough life boundaries. You know, her
Speaker 1: issues are not reflective of who you are as a
Speaker 1: woman in this Yeah, yeah, boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. Okay, this
Speaker 1: one's called after the affair? How do we get back
Speaker 1: to sex? I am thirty years old and I have
Speaker 1: been with my husband for almost seventeen years, three of
Speaker 1: which we have been married. I've heard it all, especially
Speaker 1: from my mom, that we started dating too young and
Speaker 1: we didn't have any other experiences in love and sex,
Speaker 1: But it never seemed to matter. We were in love
Speaker 1: and happy. We got engaged when we were twenty six
Speaker 1: and married at twenty eight. That's not crazy. I went
Speaker 1: to college in grad school, so I always thought my
Speaker 1: husband was waiting until I finished school to pop the question.
Speaker 1: But three more years passed after I finished school before
Speaker 1: he did. I finally got my first grown up job
Speaker 1: eight months before the wedding, and things were really going good.
Speaker 1: We were so happy until I met this guy at work.
Speaker 1: He was aggressive and took advantage of my vulnerabilities and inexperience.
Speaker 1: I take the blame myself, too, but I was led
Speaker 1: down a path with him that ended up with us
Speaker 1: kissing and sexting for several months before he was finally
Speaker 1: fired and I cut off contact. I was devastated I
Speaker 1: lost my friend. I thought he was my friend, but
Speaker 1: also relieved it was over and I could move on.
Speaker 1: I was racked with guilt constantly, though, and I couldn't
Speaker 1: shake the feelings of failure and worthlessness. I made the
Speaker 1: mistake of confiding in another guy at work who had
Speaker 1: befriended me not long after the other guy was fired.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, we were just friends until he started flirting
Speaker 1: with me heavily. I decided to tell him my secret
Speaker 1: because I felt like I had no one else to tell.
Speaker 1: I was afraid of judgment from my mom and sister,
Speaker 1: but I was so desperate to tell someone to purge it.
Speaker 1: He was nice and supportive and told me I needed
Speaker 1: to have more self confidence and then if I did,
Speaker 1: nothing like this would happen again. Months passed, and following
Speaker 1: a happy hour with co workers, my friend came onto
Speaker 1: me and rubbed my leg. We were both drunk, but
Speaker 1: I wanted it. We talked about how it was wrong,
Speaker 1: and we both said it wouldn't happen again. But a
Speaker 1: year later we had sex, and a five month affair began.
Speaker 1: My husband found out in November two thousand sixteen when
Speaker 1: he saw text messages on my phone. We have been
Speaker 1: in therapy for the past nine months and it has helped,
Speaker 1: but we still struggle, especially with sex. One of the
Speaker 1: issues we had before this happened with the second guy
Speaker 1: was that my husband was depressed about moving to a
Speaker 1: new town away from our family and comfort zone, and
Speaker 1: our sex life dissipated. We also bickered a lot, and
Speaker 1: I felt constantly scrutinized by him, as we had never
Speaker 1: lived alone together before. We pulled away from one another
Speaker 1: and I felt like he resented me and regretted buying
Speaker 1: our house and getting married. We are trying to keep
Speaker 1: our marriage together now. I left my job contact with
Speaker 1: these people and have tried to do everything my husband
Speaker 1: asks me to do so he can feel safe again.
Speaker 1: I am constantly depressed, but I am trying to put
Speaker 1: things behind me. One of our biggest struggles moving forward,
Speaker 1: as I mentioned, is our sex life. How can we
Speaker 1: get back into the habit of being intimate? How can
Speaker 1: we feel comfortable enough with each other again? I'm desperate
Speaker 1: for your advice. I've been listening to you guys for
Speaker 1: a few months now, and some days your voice is
Speaker 1: the only thing that makes me smile. Thank you for
Speaker 1: reading your loyal listener. That's a really nice email. Thank you. Um,
Speaker 1: do you do you got to stay together? Do you
Speaker 1: want to be together? It seems like they have really
Speaker 1: been doing everything, like really trying hard, because you know,
Speaker 1: she says a lot. I love to encourage people to
Speaker 1: break up. That is my favorite thing on the Cup podcast.
Speaker 1: I'm always like, just break up. But I'm also trying
Speaker 1: not to recommend that anymore. Um and uh gosh, this
Speaker 1: is there's a lot. Well. The first of all, just
Speaker 1: to go from the beginning of what she said the affairs,
Speaker 1: it seemed like she's she said, she's taking a little
Speaker 1: bit of blame, but this guy coaxed her and it's
Speaker 1: sexed in with her, Yeah, but also she seems like
Speaker 1: she doesn't have appropriate work boundaries, like you can't be
Speaker 1: flirting and I mean, I mean know, you know, we
Speaker 1: talk about a lot like can you have a you know,
Speaker 1: a really close friendship with it with a dude I
Speaker 1: Jeff and I any straight he has a very attractive,
Speaker 1: handsome God doesn't come along a lot though, because like,
Speaker 1: the only person you can say is Jeff, and like
Speaker 1: the only person I can say is Manny. So it's
Speaker 1: like that's it that much, like one person, and we
Speaker 1: keep saying their name over and over Jeff Yeff. So
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, everyone else, I've token straight friends,
Speaker 1: everyone else's dick, I've touched um. So that's a little much,
Speaker 1: but you know, yeah, and God, there is something very
Speaker 1: sexy about work about you know, so like about co
Speaker 1: workers and about teachers, because we only see, yeah, we
Speaker 1: get to know them in an intimate way, but also
Speaker 1: only see them for you know, a little snippet of
Speaker 1: our day, so we feel the intimacy see them so often,
Speaker 1: we don't see the ship part to them when they're
Speaker 1: home farting with their hand down their sweatpants, you know,
Speaker 1: because you can't do that at work. That's why you
Speaker 1: get married, right, so you can see that all the time.
Speaker 1: Broad tickets to a fart show. Yeah, and you know
Speaker 1: you also say you know you were young, but it's
Speaker 1: you know you weren't. I don't know you weren't. That
Speaker 1: just as like, yeah, I have a very visceral reaction
Speaker 1: to people being married young. And I remember one time
Speaker 1: somebody emailed us like, you know, yeah I was nineteen
Speaker 1: when I get married, and I'm happy and we're like
Speaker 1: thirty five. Great, there's my parents. You know. There's always
Speaker 1: one instance. As we just show you Jeff and saw
Speaker 1: Jeff and Manning another one, it's like, okay, you know,
Speaker 1: uh yeah, I mean I think I think if you
Speaker 1: I think I think maybe perhaps set some kind of
Speaker 1: like this is how long I am going to give
Speaker 1: this relationship to really work on it. Also, okay, I
Speaker 1: gotta be real. Okay, sex, I've I've been there. You know,
Speaker 1: we workind of dealing with something that doesn't have to
Speaker 1: do with infidelity, and I understand how that can creep
Speaker 1: in and just get in the back of your head
Speaker 1: and not be not make you be able to be sexual.
Speaker 1: That person I understand that. But one thing I would suggest,
Speaker 1: I don't know what, like your specifically your sex life,
Speaker 1: is like try something more. I really love doing, like
Speaker 1: mutual masturbation, like laying next to each other. You don't
Speaker 1: touch each other, but you're both you're both masturbating in
Speaker 1: the same space, Yes, in the same I think that
Speaker 1: is so fucking hot. Or one day, just like touching
Speaker 1: each other's bodies, like just take turns just as slowly
Speaker 1: as you possibly can. I think that is that is
Speaker 1: the only surefire thing that I can do to like
Speaker 1: if I am not horny at all, but there I'm like,
Speaker 1: I kind of want to. I wish I wanted to
Speaker 1: have sex. That's what I do, and I always get wet,
Speaker 1: I always get in the mood because that's just way
Speaker 1: of touching really turns me on, and it's something that
Speaker 1: you know, I always feel like I'm gonna rush and
Speaker 1: stressed out in life and blah blah blah. So rarely
Speaker 1: do we really take the time. And I think that
Speaker 1: people everybody's in the same boat. It's not. You don't
Speaker 1: have to have a crazy schedule to be rushing through
Speaker 1: sex and not be in the moment. I feel like
Speaker 1: having a phone hand computer with makes is not in
Speaker 1: the moment. So maybe starting and do something a small
Speaker 1: little change of just like really setting the scene and
Speaker 1: taking your time and doing something that isn't intercourse, and
Speaker 1: then also being really connizant of like, you know, if
Speaker 1: he might be shutting you down when you try to
Speaker 1: make advances, I think it's really important not to get
Speaker 1: discouraged by that because it's going to happen, and don't
Speaker 1: take it. Don't turned down for sex too, Yeah, don't
Speaker 1: take it so personally, just to be like, he's not
Speaker 1: ready and just like if you weren't ready, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm sure there's many times in your sexual history where
Speaker 1: you weren't in the mood to have sex. To just
Speaker 1: be like, men can also have that moment where they
Speaker 1: are not in the mood for sex and it might
Speaker 1: take him a little time. But on the flip side, uh,
Speaker 1: yes you did cheat, But if you make the decision
Speaker 1: that you're going to try to make this better, both
Speaker 1: people need to be on board. So at a certain point,
Speaker 1: if you're still making you feel guilty, uh, if he's
Speaker 1: you know, bringing it up, if he just can't get
Speaker 1: past it, that's okay. But you can't stand that relation.
Speaker 1: That's a surefire sign of moving Moving on is something
Speaker 1: because there's a sentence in here that kind of bothered me.
Speaker 1: And I've been that in that space where you do
Speaker 1: something wrong and then you said and I've done everything
Speaker 1: my husband has asked me to do. Cool, But there's
Speaker 1: a point when that needs to stop. You've already quit
Speaker 1: your job, You've already cut ties with these people. That's
Speaker 1: more than a move. You've made the commitment, you care,
Speaker 1: you made a mistake, you've acknowledged it, and you want
Speaker 1: to be intimate again. So if that is not enough,
Speaker 1: and for some people, and I do not blame him either,
Speaker 1: if infidelity is something he can't deal with, that's okay,
Speaker 1: But do not torture yourself. You're already depressed and you
Speaker 1: have to set some kind of an expiration date for
Speaker 1: this is I'm gonna I'm gonna give this my all
Speaker 1: for six months. And if after six months and I
Speaker 1: truly gave it my all, it doesn't work, We're just
Speaker 1: gonna have to separate. And that's that. That's it. Our
Speaker 1: yesterday are not separated. No offense, no, yeah, they're like
Speaker 1: better than you, so just they're better than all of us. Um,
Speaker 1: we've been wanting to interview these two people for so long.
Speaker 1: This is a dream interview for us. Thank you so
Speaker 1: much to Bert Christcher for drunk texting or drunk calling
Speaker 1: one of them and saying you need to do this
Speaker 1: podcast because it fucking works. Yes, and we had the most,
Speaker 1: the most fun time with them. They are amazing. I
Speaker 1: admire both of their stand up careers individually, and when
Speaker 1: they when they made a public that they were dating,
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, the perfect They couldn't
Speaker 1: have been cooler with simply delightful interest. And they're doing
Speaker 1: the Endless Honeymoon Tour where they're performing stand up and
Speaker 1: all for live relationship advice. They're going to be in
Speaker 1: Chicago this Sunday and then in Minneapolis I think on Tuesday.
Speaker 1: But they'll give you all therquot at the end where
Speaker 1: to get tickets, so heads up. And then they're so
Speaker 1: fucking funny, you're definitely gonn want to see them. Ladies
Speaker 1: and gentlemen, please welcome Natasha and Mosha Casher. I'm catching
Speaker 1: notice same news you, but send them away watching Yagg
Speaker 1: keeping your place while we have the time. While we
Speaker 1: was we should get away. It was in my place.
Speaker 1: I've been waiting on you a couple of shots, no chances. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm thinking we shoot rolling, hit the rock, let it up,
Speaker 1: let's burn up. You heard I got that flavor. I
Speaker 1: heard that you got this wee ship. Hit it now
Speaker 1: the later. Yea, hello, I'm gonna hit you with that
Speaker 1: good Yeah, hit you with that morning wood nightcare. I
Speaker 1: think we shoot well, get some rounds in til we
Speaker 1: passed our bottle. Prepping for the take off with two
Speaker 1: nick fos mate love. I say, you want the same
Speaker 1: thing to be the fruit girl's taste and get the
Speaker 1: waiting now I'm in patient. Yeah, bodies need a conversation. Yeah,
Speaker 1: hit that sort of hesitation. Yeah, I can tell from
Speaker 1: them way you look, it's hot to see. I've been
Speaker 1: watching you, watching me. You just wait to catch a
Speaker 1: moan and baby? Please? What miss side watching again? I
Speaker 1: pressed record just now. I wasn't recording earlier because I
Speaker 1: wasn't sure. Hey, your two day of the guys we
Speaker 1: podcast podcast. That's good. We just gave them our long
Speaker 1: list of things they are not allowed to talk. My
Speaker 1: history of Nazism off the table. Oh, but that's a
Speaker 1: unique subject. We haven't got into I feel like Nazi
Speaker 1: people are kinky. Yeah. I worked for a dominatrix once
Speaker 1: in her clothing store. But she was like, definitely the
Speaker 1: most perverted person I've ever met. When she was German.
Speaker 1: Was the of course was the clothing store like lingerie
Speaker 1: and latech No, it was like very cute clothes that
Speaker 1: I wore all the time. And she would be like
Speaker 1: bordering fabric on one phone and then the other phone
Speaker 1: should be like hey, I watch you and told do
Speaker 1: I wash my feature? No? No, okay, Like it was
Speaker 1: just hilarious. She give you any I wish I still
Speaker 1: worked there. Yeah that sounds fun. Was she like just ps,
Speaker 1: you might hear me like tell a guy to piss
Speaker 1: in a drug. No, people like that that aren't like
Speaker 1: just so you know. They're just like living their life.
Speaker 1: Went to okay, white pantings on a flashlight. Okay, I
Speaker 1: see you in a minute. I run around the block fast.
Speaker 1: She got Japanese sort of but it felt good at
Speaker 1: first and then racist in the end. And sometimes she
Speaker 1: was looking in the mirror and put an arm band
Speaker 1: on her arm and kissed it. What I mean, I
Speaker 1: was just a band of material, but she was like
Speaker 1: a Nazi in her heart. One time, my boyfriend after
Speaker 1: sex accidentally kissed his knee and it was the cutest
Speaker 1: thing I've ever seen in my life. What do you
Speaker 1: mean by accidentally? He had no, no, no, he didn't accident.
Speaker 1: He was like, just kissed. That's a deal breaking. That's
Speaker 1: what I call a red flag. Actually a red flag
Speaker 1: is the flag that was hanging in your dominator's friends
Speaker 1: chain of not he wasn't really my friend, and I did,
Speaker 1: as you can tell, don't hang out with it anymore.
Speaker 1: I just sever that relationship. I think it's cute that
Speaker 1: your ex boyfriend. So one night I just thought, was you,
Speaker 1: it's probably the thing that I've said on this podcast
Speaker 1: about him, it's going to annoy him the most. Is
Speaker 1: that asshole like the guy downstairs? You thought? Maybe was?
Speaker 1: I walked up and I went, I have a problem
Speaker 1: with eye contact because I don't like get doing it
Speaker 1: connecting with others. And uh, and I like looked half
Speaker 1: up and I thought that she saw Julie looking a
Speaker 1: little He's not even a jew. Yeah he does look
Speaker 1: a little jew because you and he you and he
Speaker 1: seemed very familiar. So I thought it was interesting that
Speaker 1: you didn't even know who he was. I just okay,
Speaker 1: all right, every you guys am, So I okay, I
Speaker 1: want to know how long does you guys meet? I
Speaker 1: don't really know much about you guys as a couple
Speaker 1: other than you're really we know your separate at work,
Speaker 1: but we don't know what what's what's happened the way
Speaker 1: you meet people in comedy. We met a long time ago,
Speaker 1: fifteen plus. What do you think and what did you
Speaker 1: think of years ago? I don't know, Like we just comedy.
Speaker 1: I just remember Mosha like being one of those comics.
Speaker 1: So I would kind of like roll my eyes if
Speaker 1: I had to follow him because he's really again because
Speaker 1: I'm a hack like good, but he's also like very
Speaker 1: high energy and like he talks a mile a minute
Speaker 1: and like destroys. So it's like, yeah, that's how I
Speaker 1: feel after falling amber Um, but he's not my husband.
Speaker 1: When you guys first met each other, did you like
Speaker 1: each other? What was your first impression? Well, Mosha was
Speaker 1: in love not in love with me, but like he
Speaker 1: had like a crush on me. Yeah, I had such
Speaker 1: a such a crush the talk, you know, I didn't
Speaker 1: I just say this to well, it's not annoying. I
Speaker 1: mean she was she was in relationship, so she was
Speaker 1: not really on the table with a comedian. Yeah, pretty
Speaker 1: much with date comedians, because you know that's who I
Speaker 1: was there and there here and smarter, And why would
Speaker 1: I agree with you I'm getting a comedian. Are you
Speaker 1: in fact with the comedian? You must talked about who
Speaker 1: it is? Yeah, I mean he's not he's not famous.
Speaker 1: Oh no, I'm so sorry, works out wit? Are you okay? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I get through it. What's like his best credit byra Allen? No,
Speaker 1: I mean, has he at least done that? Because if
Speaker 1: he has, we are praying for you. Right, we haven't
Speaker 1: even done. He's the most upvoted comedian on Reddit. So
Speaker 1: and he won the Hoboken Comedy Festival step off it
Speaker 1: won that Hoboken. Very talented he is. But one thing
Speaker 1: I will say is that Mosha I always thought he
Speaker 1: was cute. Well, I thought he was interesting, but ultimately
Speaker 1: I think you're really cute. But he like did this
Speaker 1: thing where he would shave his head like a little too,
Speaker 1: like he had like kind of like this Hitler haircut,
Speaker 1: and it was kind of like a look to me,
Speaker 1: like a bit of like an outdated rave hairstyle. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I know he really liked it undated raves. I
Speaker 1: mean that was me. So it was like a real
Speaker 1: tight fade, you know, like it was like almost bald
Speaker 1: and then a bunch of hair, and like he got
Speaker 1: so much cuter when he grew out, like just the
Speaker 1: lower half of his hair. Did you do that on
Speaker 1: your own? You chose to do that or didn't? It
Speaker 1: wasn't ash Like, actually, i'll tell you what. I'll tell
Speaker 1: you how the hair change. First of all, I want
Speaker 1: to just say that the hair. She's right, the hair
Speaker 1: was really damaging, Yes, severe to my to my sexuality,
Speaker 1: Like I know you still got a lot of can
Speaker 1: you just let me do the punchline. It hindered to
Speaker 1: such a degree Nata. I couldn't get Natasha and I
Speaker 1: was only able to sleep with I wouldn't I don't
Speaker 1: know hundreds of other people before I met her. But anyway, um,
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm coming across well on this podcast
Speaker 1: right now. But the Hitler Gitler, it was. It was
Speaker 1: my first joke. It was one of my It was
Speaker 1: one of my my first joke, one of my classic
Speaker 1: jokes Gheitler. I called it the gay Hitler and I
Speaker 1: talked about how difficult it was as a Jew to
Speaker 1: tell your barber what you really were after was Hitler Um.
Speaker 1: But that's a good first joke. Well it was. It
Speaker 1: was at my first classic. I would say it was
Speaker 1: the first castor classic, but my first class. But my
Speaker 1: manager is actually the reason that I changed my hair.
Speaker 1: He didn't hair intervention on me, and he's like, you
Speaker 1: gotta go out there because I come from this, like's
Speaker 1: not wrong. I'll come from this like rave background, and
Speaker 1: really what is a rave background? Like my parents were
Speaker 1: both DJs. Got so excited for My parents were both
Speaker 1: techno DJs, and they left Germany when Hitler came to power.
Speaker 1: Some of the persecution. Yeah right, Germans love technology, don't
Speaker 1: you know? People who like think raves are cool and
Speaker 1: it's just like their flaws used to rage are less
Speaker 1: cool now. But I grew up in you know, the
Speaker 1: nineties from my era, and I grew up in the
Speaker 1: rave scene before I did comedy, and I found I
Speaker 1: was really into this image of myself having sort of
Speaker 1: an extreme, more extreme look, and your manager actually interventioned.
Speaker 1: So my manager was like, we got a casting man.
Speaker 1: We gotta grow that grow those hair, that hair out,
Speaker 1: And so I was like, I felt like super pathetic
Speaker 1: about doing it, like you know, making a physical sacrificing well,
Speaker 1: just like making a physical change for like Hollywood industry
Speaker 1: never feels good yet. But I did it. And then
Speaker 1: I remember, I never forget. My manager called me one day.
Speaker 1: I was in New York actually, and it it was right
Speaker 1: after Whiplash, and he called. I got a call from
Speaker 1: and he goes, dude, people are loving the hair. Wow.
Speaker 1: But I felt for you quite like very soon after
Speaker 1: you grew out that hair, he arranged general a general
Speaker 1: meeting with Natasha and the rest. All of a sudden,
Speaker 1: you just looked so handsome. I feel like I looked
Speaker 1: good the whole time. That was the problem that well,
Speaker 1: it's I know that I used to work with a
Speaker 1: guy who like he always talked to me, a crush
Speaker 1: on me, and then one day he just got arms
Speaker 1: like sleeves on both of his arms and they were
Speaker 1: really good tattoos, and I was like, ship, now I
Speaker 1: think you're hot. That's so annoying. Well, tattoos are inherently
Speaker 1: like sex, right, I don't you drew on your hand. Okay,
Speaker 1: you really think it thought that someone went and got
Speaker 1: like two tattoo sleeves in one day. Well, it was
Speaker 1: over a period of time. They're doing well financially. You
Speaker 1: have to acate artists. How could you get like into
Speaker 1: everything on your arm? True, I want that kind of
Speaker 1: sexuality myself, so but I'm Jewish, so I don't do
Speaker 1: the tattoo things. So what I did was I bought
Speaker 1: those like sharper Image tattoo sleeve sleep women love that. No,
Speaker 1: women find it ear with. Women are loving the sleeve.
Speaker 1: I remember your manager. You're showing me that text from
Speaker 1: your manager, So I know that was all very much
Speaker 1: in the same people are loving the hand. And it
Speaker 1: used to hear that story though, because so often women
Speaker 1: in the business are making us that it changes. So
Speaker 1: it's kind of like ye feedback for me to speak
Speaker 1: truth to the reality that women deal with with less,
Speaker 1: probably less than men have to deal with in this
Speaker 1: industry in terms of physicality, well, just in terms of
Speaker 1: the dynamic in your relationship, because like Natash, you've always
Speaker 1: been like a hottie, right, a hottie. Yeah, yeah, you're hottie.
Speaker 1: You're hot. You guys are too, but you've always I
Speaker 1: love how you leaned back to say that you're taking
Speaker 1: an old Hollywood napping. I was actually about to sneeze.
Speaker 1: She was leaning back on a faint in casual. You're sweet,
Speaker 1: But have I ever made any changes? I got hair
Speaker 1: extensions that seem to help help. Did you ever love
Speaker 1: like a shitty haircutter? Did you ever dress poorly? It
Speaker 1: was the Hollywood sneeze. It's very dainty. Um, I've always
Speaker 1: dressed pretty well. She's a well dressed person. She's attractive.
Speaker 1: But I'm a well dressed person I'm attracted to. I
Speaker 1: don't like how I'm the ugly duckling on you. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no. I need to put my foot down here.
Speaker 1: Men suffer. I was great. Men suffer. You know what
Speaker 1: I was going to say, a lot of men sometimes
Speaker 1: get it. And I was wondering, if you do for
Speaker 1: your body hair? I do people say that to him?
Speaker 1: I don't even recognize it. Isn't it hot to have
Speaker 1: body hair? Well? I remember before this before comedy has
Speaker 1: nothing to Hollywood. I remember when my my chest hair
Speaker 1: and my hairy arms first started growing out. I would
Speaker 1: always button up. I will. I won't go on stage
Speaker 1: without long sleeves, and I think, Jerry sein yeah, I
Speaker 1: won't do it because you're why, because I don't know Seinfeld.
Speaker 1: Part of it is self consciousness, and part of it
Speaker 1: is that I heard this weird quote from you ever
Speaker 1: have these things in comedy where you hear a quote
Speaker 1: and it bores into your brain. Bill Hicks has never
Speaker 1: asked you go on stage and ask you audience how
Speaker 1: you're doing. You tell them how they're doing, and I'm like, ship,
Speaker 1: I'm a loser. I can't ever say that again. And
Speaker 1: now it's a rule that I did exactly as if
Speaker 1: you address like the audience, you become one of them.
Speaker 1: I love that when I don't know who said that,
Speaker 1: those I don't you know, normally said it. No shorts
Speaker 1: is a thing too, unless you're like or open toad shoes.
Speaker 1: I've heard that too, yeah as well, and I and
Speaker 1: I actually stick to both those rules. I'll tell you
Speaker 1: one of my many pet peeves is there's the original
Speaker 1: rule is move the mic stand. Right you get on stage,
Speaker 1: moved the mic stand. But that's that's that's what that's basic.
Speaker 1: What you see now is new comedians who have been
Speaker 1: indoctrinated in the move the mic standogy they walk up
Speaker 1: and they moved them move it all the way to
Speaker 1: the corner demonstrative. It's like, we don't need it, just
Speaker 1: move it, just because it's always taller than me and
Speaker 1: I don't want it like upstairs. Well I get out
Speaker 1: of here. That is such a thing as I'm also
Speaker 1: a short woman, and I know I'm always scared that
Speaker 1: I'm not going to be able to as smoothly as
Speaker 1: I want to lower it. So I'm just like I
Speaker 1: just got to get the mic out and move this
Speaker 1: away as fast as humanly possible. That's her opening joke
Speaker 1: is like slamming the micro. That's another one of those
Speaker 1: things Bobby Lee told me. He's like trying to be
Speaker 1: funny before you start talking. Then I always would take
Speaker 1: the mic and then like pretend like it I fell
Speaker 1: and you know, like like it was too high for me,
Speaker 1: and then make it way too low and then they
Speaker 1: all laugh. I have I have cut myself a mic
Speaker 1: stand before lowering of a mic stand. I've had a
Speaker 1: mikestand slam all the way down, cut your fingering. And
Speaker 1: I remember I was at the comedy store and I
Speaker 1: was bleeding, like somewhat profusely on stage of the Comedy Store,
Speaker 1: and a guy stood up and he gave me a
Speaker 1: brand new handkerchief, white cloth handkerchief. He's like here, and
Speaker 1: I was dabbing it, and I was so touched by
Speaker 1: it that I was like, you know what, man, that
Speaker 1: was such a sweet thing. I've been on television. Here,
Speaker 1: you can have it. He did not take the kind
Speaker 1: of disgusting those mikes are, though. I should really just
Speaker 1: start bringing my own, Mike. I should get one of
Speaker 1: the prices right, like that real skinnea Mike. Here's a
Speaker 1: cool thing. How about one of those cool radio zoot
Speaker 1: suit kind of mikes, you know, and then put it
Speaker 1: in your head shot, you know, and you get t
Speaker 1: and you just say you like it. Says like, I'm
Speaker 1: like against the grain comedian. So wait, how did you
Speaker 1: guys who asked you out? How did that happen? I
Speaker 1: certainly didn't come out. Yeah, I feel like I don't
Speaker 1: know why. Here's something I resent not about you people,
Speaker 1: Something I resent about your podcasting style. People online will
Speaker 1: often I mean, and I would say, every single time
Speaker 1: we put a picture up together, people are like lucky man,
Speaker 1: lucky lucky you and I'm like, she tamed the wolf.
Speaker 1: She's lucky. She's the lucky one in this relationship. You're
Speaker 1: both lucky, functional relationship, but it's always always lucky, lucky
Speaker 1: jew luck. Not always that. Sometimes people are really rude.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's true too. I got one the other day.
Speaker 1: I posted this picture. Maybe it wasn't the most flattering dress.
Speaker 1: When do you do people are so mean? I just
Speaker 1: looked at your instagram. I just looked at your instagram's
Speaker 1: from the from the Philadelphia show that we're doing on Thursday,
Speaker 1: and somebody said nice tits. So there's some yan Yeah,
Speaker 1: how did you ask her? How was it? I think
Speaker 1: you have their info. I think they're in your Something
Speaker 1: I will often do on her instagram is when somebody
Speaker 1: puts an incredibly disgusting misogynist I don't even respond. I
Speaker 1: copy it and paste it in the comments. I do
Speaker 1: the exact same comment. So somebody it's like, I want
Speaker 1: to smell your farts, and then I'll just go right
Speaker 1: up misogynistic. No, you're right, that's fair enough, Kinky. It's
Speaker 1: the whole the dominatrix she used to work. I will
Speaker 1: just copy it and I'll just say the exact same thing.
Speaker 1: That's a tradition for me only. But okay, how did
Speaker 1: I start doing? It's all your main comment. Yeah, how'd
Speaker 1: you ask her out? I didn't ask her out when she?
Speaker 1: Are you even married? When? When when she first when
Speaker 1: she she broke up with with someone? And I gave
Speaker 1: it like a year and wow, that's a long time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I wasn't for the long haul. But I also
Speaker 1: was I didn't have like targets set. I was just like,
Speaker 1: I wasn't gonna flirt with someone who was just out
Speaker 1: of relationship, you know. And then eventually that's like the
Speaker 1: time to do it though, because then they're like vulnerable.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be. That's what I scooped him up.
Speaker 1: After you got done by a porn star. I'm not
Speaker 1: trying which one like mine really destroyer? Cool? Um motion
Speaker 1: knows all the porn stars. That's what I love about him.
Speaker 1: Was that girl that you like that some someone gave
Speaker 1: you one of those um fleshlights of her mouth, of
Speaker 1: her pussy. Wait, no, you're right, it was her mouth
Speaker 1: and it came out in the in the airport. Actually,
Speaker 1: I remember that a security person was like giggling and
Speaker 1: jiggling and it was Belladonna. Oh that's a good one. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she's great. Yeah, we had like well no, no, no no,
Speaker 1: not her, but like us a here is one of
Speaker 1: my favorites and now I can't watch her because but
Speaker 1: she messaged us on Twitter was like I love to
Speaker 1: your podcast and I was like, I cherk offed you
Speaker 1: like all the time Instagram comments right, um, so okay.
Speaker 1: A year later, I I had I had a dream.
Speaker 1: I had to dreams. One was about Willpi Goldberg and
Speaker 1: one was about Natasha, and I conflated the two as
Speaker 1: a means of getting in there. I said, I had
Speaker 1: a dream you and me and Whoopi Goldberg we're hanging out.
Speaker 1: Because I didn't want to say I had a dream
Speaker 1: about you because that feels a little thirsty, you know,
Speaker 1: But you me and Whoopi Goldberg, that feels more like, hey,
Speaker 1: we were on the view, you know, hung out. And
Speaker 1: so I said, you me, Whoopi Goldberg, we were hanging out.
Speaker 1: Because anytime somebody says I had a dream about you,
Speaker 1: it's like it's never good. It's always please let's yeah,
Speaker 1: I want that. So, uh, you had me fooled about
Speaker 1: Whoopi Goldberg. Yeah, I didn't think you were coming on
Speaker 1: to me. Really. You said, and I quote, why don't
Speaker 1: you come over tonight and we can smoke cigarettes together.
Speaker 1: I still was like, Oh, he's a cool friend. Oh
Speaker 1: come on. I mean, well, first of all, I don't
Speaker 1: think this happened in the same I think the dream
Speaker 1: and the cigarettes were like a couple of weeks apart.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's true. Yeah, you might be right.
Speaker 1: I don't know. All right, So, but I wasn't like,
Speaker 1: oh he wants it. Okay, she said, come over tonight
Speaker 1: and let's smoke cigarettes. You do the math you asked
Speaker 1: me to do. Um, it's true. Via like you were
Speaker 1: asking me to do some things. And I was like,
Speaker 1: I can't, Sorry, I can't. I've never heard anybody like
Speaker 1: someone over their house to smoke cigarettes. That's fun. That's
Speaker 1: it's definitely a sex a sex thing. Is that when
Speaker 1: you got interested, she's playing very coy. I'm not. I honestly,
Speaker 1: I just don't remember. Um. So then we did get together.
Speaker 1: We watched the Seventh Seal. We didn' kiss on our
Speaker 1: first date again. Was your first date in a house
Speaker 1: on a couch or was it? What to have the movies.
Speaker 1: It was a little bit more ribald than that. It
Speaker 1: was in the house on a bed. Whoa. But so
Speaker 1: we like Sharon Cluis when she has that date with
Speaker 1: a gay guy, very very similar. We watched the Seventh
Speaker 1: Seal right in Bergman, and then I was like, so,
Speaker 1: I was so excited because I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: he likes art films, and I think that's the last
Speaker 1: non action movie you've ever taken me to write. The
Speaker 1: next one I think was Rambo First Blood. See that's
Speaker 1: why you you could tell you sleep a lot of
Speaker 1: pussy because you got all the moves. Yeah, right, like
Speaker 1: they there into like the art film and then it's like, really,
Speaker 1: it's just superhero And well I didn't kiss for the
Speaker 1: first date because I was very promiscuous before I met Natasha.
Speaker 1: How how promiscuous were you? Like, what are we talking?
Speaker 1: I've never had a girlfriend. He only had one night stands,
Speaker 1: and he had them very very frequently, to the point
Speaker 1: where he never needed a girlfriend. Well it's not I mean,
Speaker 1: that's that's oversimplifying it. But but yeah, it's so much
Speaker 1: more complex than the Well I'm just saying it wasn't
Speaker 1: that I didn't need a girlfriend. I probably was doing
Speaker 1: the one night stand promiscuity thing because I was incapable
Speaker 1: of having a girlfriend. If we're going to get into
Speaker 1: the pay those behind and why I did did having
Speaker 1: one night stands because I've tried it or I've tried
Speaker 1: hooking up with people before. I'm like, dad, just what
Speaker 1: did they make you feel good? I mean, you know,
Speaker 1: when sex is sex can be more of a of
Speaker 1: a pathology. I feel like at certain points, like I
Speaker 1: remember when I'd be driving home from the comedy store,
Speaker 1: if I would bomb, I would be like texting booty calls,
Speaker 1: like it was so like it was transparent, like you killed.
Speaker 1: I mean, I might do it, but it was I
Speaker 1: remember reasons exactly, but I remember the link was there,
Speaker 1: just like I feel like it's just so it's transparent.
Speaker 1: It's like I won't know you bomb though unless you
Speaker 1: told him no. I'm just saying, like my little manhood
Speaker 1: that is wrapped up in my performance style was like
Speaker 1: I feel deflated. Let me inflate, literally inflate myself on
Speaker 1: the way home. But I was very permiscent, I mean,
Speaker 1: you know, very and he had women like wouldn't you
Speaker 1: say you had like a year long booty calls like yeah, definitely,
Speaker 1: and like he would go to these women's house, would
Speaker 1: take them out on dates and they would like give
Speaker 1: him a BackRub and then fuck him and then he
Speaker 1: would leave. Wow, I had if you could, I had
Speaker 1: a bundle. I had a couple of those like fun
Speaker 1: Buddies because I knew I really want to see about
Speaker 1: like a rotation of fun buddies. And then on nights
Speaker 1: where I was like dead and do what I didn't
Speaker 1: really do it too well. It wasn't with comedy because
Speaker 1: when I started comedy, I was already had a boyfriend,
Speaker 1: Thank god, because I would have slept with all these
Speaker 1: comics that I don't know. That's what I did. It's
Speaker 1: been fun. Yeah, but you're gonna say when I started comedy,
Speaker 1: I was like just a crush fest every time. So
Speaker 1: it just didn't know. But just in moments of my
Speaker 1: life where I'm like, oh who, I feel like ship,
Speaker 1: who am I'm going to text like three people? Whoever
Speaker 1: text me back first? They win? Oh yeah, it's so
Speaker 1: fun to like see who's going to text me back first?
Speaker 1: To be honest, that's very male. That feels I mean,
Speaker 1: maybe I'm being ignorant, but that feels like a very
Speaker 1: male intact. I just get taken out, to be honest,
Speaker 1: I was kind of hoping that that's what Mosha would be. Oh,
Speaker 1: that is true. That this part, I feel like it's
Speaker 1: real that at first she was just trying to smash
Speaker 1: and then Mosha was like very cautious and like not
Speaker 1: talking me. Well, that would been confusing, yeah, because when
Speaker 1: would you with your fun buddies, you would just fun? Yeah, Well,
Speaker 1: because that's I mean, that's what it's about. Is like
Speaker 1: I had enough sexual partners and I've been with enough
Speaker 1: people over the years that I knew that introducing sexuality
Speaker 1: into a into a friendship, especially a comedy peer based friendship,
Speaker 1: is going to make things weird. So I wasn't going
Speaker 1: to do that unless I knew that there was some
Speaker 1: possibility of an emotional tanglement. It's not like I needed
Speaker 1: to get laid. I was like, you know, I have
Speaker 1: you already had you had, I know, and you did
Speaker 1: eventually hunt and you did. Was that when you lost
Speaker 1: to Virginia the big lag? Yeah, she was. It was
Speaker 1: her first time we actually did. I don't want to
Speaker 1: jump around too much. What we did actually uh, have
Speaker 1: sex on our on our at our wedding, at the wedding. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a Jewish tradition. The chairs. Yeah, that's hard. I
Speaker 1: have a huge dick. So even as we bounced off
Speaker 1: and down, it was able to still stay and it
Speaker 1: was really cool. You guys know, there's an old Jewish
Speaker 1: tradition which is that very old, which is that the
Speaker 1: people when they get married, if they're very religious, it
Speaker 1: will be the moments after their wedding would be the
Speaker 1: the first time that they'd ever been alone in a
Speaker 1: room together. Literally, So you know, the way Jewish marriage
Speaker 1: will work, like really traditional Jewish marriage is that they
Speaker 1: will need at a hotel because it can't be alone together.
Speaker 1: I needed a lobby of a hotel most of the time.
Speaker 1: I mean, if they're super super super religious, I'll probably
Speaker 1: just like meet in a rabbi's house. But if they're
Speaker 1: like if they're very religious, oh, a lot of it sucks.
Speaker 1: A lot of it sucks. But then anyway, in the
Speaker 1: old days in the village, they would you know, you'd
Speaker 1: smash the glass and then the wedding party would sort
Speaker 1: of like dance you into a room and then leave
Speaker 1: and then go start the reception. While ostensibly you consummate
Speaker 1: the marriage and then the best part is after you fuck,
Speaker 1: then you go to the wedding with the bloody sheet
Speaker 1: and present it. She's a virgin. We also did, but
Speaker 1: sometimes you don't bled when you lose your virginity. I
Speaker 1: didn't bleed. If I ever was with a virgin and
Speaker 1: she didn't bleed, I would be like, either you're a
Speaker 1: horseback rider or I am drowning you in the river.
Speaker 1: Tell me you ride horse ride a bike, roller blade,
Speaker 1: anything could have done it. Have you ever had sex
Speaker 1: with the virgin? No, I'm so pissed, but I mean
Speaker 1: it was like, don't seem fun, but I just want
Speaker 1: to take a sweet It's hard to He was embarrassed.
Speaker 1: I had a a couple of the booty call people
Speaker 1: that I had over the years were virgins. Wouldn't sleep
Speaker 1: with me. That's fun though, so we would hook up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it would be oral sex. They were you know, they
Speaker 1: were like older virgin. There's a weird thing that happens.
Speaker 1: You know, there's a weird thing that happens with older
Speaker 1: virgins where they've been they've been a virgin for so
Speaker 1: long that they and they're not religious right that it
Speaker 1: becomes a part of it becomes this you know, monolithic
Speaker 1: part of their their self identity. So they're like always looking.
Speaker 1: I mean, really, the way to lose your virginity is
Speaker 1: in a very sketchy way as a teenager and just
Speaker 1: pull a bandit off. The one I fucked was like
Speaker 1: also had like psychological like he was like a cutter,
Speaker 1: you know, like I think that if it's virgin, know,
Speaker 1: but I just mean like there's like a you know,
Speaker 1: they start to associate themselves with like or maybe they
Speaker 1: think it's an unclean act or they start to like
Speaker 1: if there's like an O C D situation, Like sometimes
Speaker 1: it's like if they wait too long to youre in
Speaker 1: your thirties, it's like a little did they become a
Speaker 1: little off freak out while you were working? No? No, no, no,
Speaker 1: But I just mean it was like it's not just
Speaker 1: like they're they're happy to finally lose it. I had
Speaker 1: a friend who he was having sex with someone right
Speaker 1: after there. I don't know why this is related, but
Speaker 1: it's a freak out weather sucking story. He was having
Speaker 1: sex with her right after her like a month after
Speaker 1: her father had died and she stopped. She went like
Speaker 1: cold fish rigid. He's like, are you okay? She leapt
Speaker 1: out of the bed and started running around the bed, screaming,
Speaker 1: my father can see me. My father can see me. Holy,
Speaker 1: that's not good. Oh speaking, I have another weird story
Speaker 1: about father. This one. This one was mine, um, and
Speaker 1: this one was a girl that I was on a
Speaker 1: date with. We were I was it was the first
Speaker 1: day and she was like, so, um, it's something something
Speaker 1: your father. And she's like, oh, my father died when
Speaker 1: I was when I was sixteen, And I go, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, so goes oh, she died when I was
Speaker 1: twelve a piece of ship. And I was like a
Speaker 1: bit of a red flag. So later later that night,
Speaker 1: when we were sucking yeah day unfettered and promiscuous. Later
Speaker 1: that night where we were going going to town in
Speaker 1: bed crazy in the way that you would exactly anticipate,
Speaker 1: literally talking like a muppet baby, going oh Daddy, I
Speaker 1: swear to God give it to and I go, can
Speaker 1: you hide your I didn't say this out lot, but
Speaker 1: I was like, can you hide your your psychological issues?
Speaker 1: Like one layer beneath your subconscious? Like does it have
Speaker 1: to be a one to one correlation to your It
Speaker 1: was so it was so creepy. It's the only time
Speaker 1: I think I've ever asked a woman like, could you
Speaker 1: adjust your bed vibe? That's a nice it's too much anyway,
Speaker 1: it wasn't there also a girl who had a tattoo
Speaker 1: or something. Oh, that's true, I didn't. I also I
Speaker 1: also had sex with a girl who had her whole
Speaker 1: back was a piece of her It was her father's grave,
Speaker 1: her father's name the day, and so of course you're
Speaker 1: having sex Doggi style and you're like looking at her
Speaker 1: father's grave. Yeah, just like here daddy legacy not live on.
Speaker 1: This sounds like have you been watching I'm Dying up Here? Oh?
Speaker 1: Because I was like, there is no no, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I got that anecdote from the I'm Dying up Here season.
Speaker 1: I steel no, not the tombstone, but there there there's
Speaker 1: like the muppet baby talker that you described. There is
Speaker 1: a scene where one of the comics has sex with
Speaker 1: someone who is just I was like, I would have
Speaker 1: loved to see the audition tape for this role because
Speaker 1: she went berserk. Are there men out there who are
Speaker 1: attracted to baby talk? Yes, like a baby fetish, like
Speaker 1: they wear a diaper and they want to be mothers.
Speaker 1: That's mean you no, no, no, no no. I mean
Speaker 1: remember we were in Amsterdam and there was like a
Speaker 1: sixth year old guy like and like an adult diaper
Speaker 1: with a pacifier like running his like getting his cleaning. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he was just like hanging out in the morning. Oh
Speaker 1: so okay. So to to double back, I told Natasha
Speaker 1: about that tradition and she converted Judaism before we got married,
Speaker 1: because like, you're not okay, oh I'm Jewish now, yeah
Speaker 1: you are now, because I was like, okay, by injection,
Speaker 1: good one, daddy, if by you inject me. Um. So,
Speaker 1: so you converted nothing to do with him or yes
Speaker 1: to do with him. Um. I was born Catholic, so
Speaker 1: I just wanted to kind of be in a religion
Speaker 1: that didn't kids. That's a great and that was honestly,
Speaker 1: my mom had thoughts. Judaism is just like don't be
Speaker 1: a piece of ship. Like I like the message, the messages,
Speaker 1: don't be a piece of the behavior goes in the
Speaker 1: the biggest so h that's uh. So I did want
Speaker 1: to convert, and I we went to nineteen four hour
Speaker 1: classes together. We did the conversion is a very funny situation.
Speaker 1: It's like, here's the demographic breakdown of the of the
Speaker 1: conversion classes in Los Angeles. It's like a couple of
Speaker 1: couples like Tash and I, young couples that are getting married,
Speaker 1: a couple individuals who have been called for some faith
Speaker 1: based reason from who you know God. Someone calls you
Speaker 1: like like, hello, we were wondering if you want to
Speaker 1: convite to Judaism. The Judaism draft very much. The opposite
Speaker 1: is true. You know, Judaism is like a cult that's
Speaker 1: difficult to join. Christianity. You could just like go to
Speaker 1: a lady's foot locker or something christian dot Com test
Speaker 1: and found out was half Ashkenazi Jewish. People were literally like,
Speaker 1: welcome that half mom, that's the real one, right. Yeah, Oh,
Speaker 1: here's a terrible story. Uh. I Once when I was young,
Speaker 1: my friend Dave decided he wanted to get into Judaism
Speaker 1: and his father was Jewish, and he was like, I
Speaker 1: want to, like try, I know that you go to
Speaker 1: temple sometimes, and we're like, yeah, we'll take you to Temple.
Speaker 1: We made a foolish decision to take at the time
Speaker 1: where we were at we were going to Orthodox services.
Speaker 1: We were Orthodox ourselves, my brother and I, but that's
Speaker 1: where we would go to services. And so we made
Speaker 1: this foolish decision to bring him there to kabbad. You
Speaker 1: know the guy's those are intense ones. And this the
Speaker 1: rabbi walks up to him. This true. He walks up
Speaker 1: to him, He goes, are you Jewish? And he goes, uh, yeah,
Speaker 1: well my one my parents is He goes your mother
Speaker 1: or your father? He goes, well my father first seme
Speaker 1: in temple. Well, my father. He puts his hand out
Speaker 1: to shake it, and he goes one hundred percent gentile, like,
Speaker 1: have you never been counseled you're a rabbi. No one's
Speaker 1: ever said. Sometimes people will show up that don't know
Speaker 1: the rules, be a little compassionate. That fully happened. That's
Speaker 1: the That was one of the worst. The demographic of
Speaker 1: our class. So the demographic of these conversive classes, which
Speaker 1: were not Orthodox, this was a conservative a little bit
Speaker 1: more you know, a little bit more open minded and
Speaker 1: a little more liberal. It was a few people a
Speaker 1: little better, yeah, a little. It was a few people
Speaker 1: like Natasha and I, A few people that have been
Speaker 1: called to the religion and then the rest was I
Speaker 1: would say hot to very hot Latino women that were
Speaker 1: may year old Israeli man with like like leathery turkey
Speaker 1: gullet like and rolex and by the way, they there
Speaker 1: and there was a there was a direct direct correlation
Speaker 1: between how hot the woman and how expensive the vehicle
Speaker 1: that they would be picked up in. So if you're
Speaker 1: like kind of good looking, it's a Bend's or a BMW.
Speaker 1: If you're like a real badass, if you're it would
Speaker 1: be like a land Rover or a Bentley. That's and
Speaker 1: also another thing that's that was strange is there weren't
Speaker 1: a lot of men converting. And the reason why is
Speaker 1: because they make you get circumcised. Yeah, you gotta go
Speaker 1: for it. And even if you already are circumcised, you
Speaker 1: have to do like a sort of what is it
Speaker 1: called like it they call it a ritual, a ritual
Speaker 1: symbolic anybody rabbis with they really do pierce your dick. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: So it's like it's mostly not men historically. Historically that's
Speaker 1: been true. Historically, women convert men don't. I've never seen
Speaker 1: an uncircumcised penis. Really, it's really it's like a mound.
Speaker 1: It's like a triangle that except a flaccid one. The
Speaker 1: guy were interviewing whipped it out by someone kind of
Speaker 1: it reminded me of a mountain. This guy we asked
Speaker 1: in a glower, never came up in this one. And
Speaker 1: I not for lack of trying. I mean I sucked
Speaker 1: a lot of dudes. It just didn't come over. I've
Speaker 1: never I sucked a lot. Just to know, not one problem.
Speaker 1: The next time you're single, you need to get on
Speaker 1: a train to Austria. Serious, I know trains in Austria
Speaker 1: don't always. We've seen that story before, not to go
Speaker 1: to Austria. So would you guys remember the first time
Speaker 1: you had sex? Um? Oh yes, but well I actually
Speaker 1: don't know if I do remember the first time we
Speaker 1: had sex. We'll tell him what I said you. You You
Speaker 1: want to hear moves, tell them what I said to you.
Speaker 1: So I was going slow. I was going slow. Oh well,
Speaker 1: let me. I want to make sure I finished this.
Speaker 1: I thought of the wedding. So I was telling the
Speaker 1: talk about these different traditions. The truth is ultra orthod.
Speaker 1: People do not do that anymore. It's it's it's an
Speaker 1: antiquated tradition. Even among the most orthodox, they usually would
Speaker 1: just go talk talk amongst themselves and then have sex
Speaker 1: that night at home. But Natasha was like, we should
Speaker 1: do that because she's a comedian. Well, also I was
Speaker 1: attracted to like what is the most pure version. Well
Speaker 1: I liked the idea of like a very pastoral you know,
Speaker 1: like traditional nobody does it anymore. And also she's also
Speaker 1: so's she likes the traditional cool like pick like to
Speaker 1: choose to do it yourself. Though I be like, well
Speaker 1: this is so outdated, like let's bring it back for yeah,
Speaker 1: And like there was this other tradition called the Badacan
Speaker 1: that we did, which is like at the beginning, like
Speaker 1: all my girlfriends sit in a room, and then all
Speaker 1: his friends are in another room, and everyone has instruments,
Speaker 1: and then they put like a napkin over my face,
Speaker 1: and then all of his friends, in like a sort
Speaker 1: of cavalcade of music, come in with all of my
Speaker 1: friends and everyone's playing music, and they lift up the
Speaker 1: napkin to make sure it's me and some ugly girl
Speaker 1: from the village, you know, because that came from a
Speaker 1: tradition where people would be like, oh, this isid and
Speaker 1: then they would marry her, and it wasn't her, it
Speaker 1: was actually her ugly sistem. I don't know that that
Speaker 1: part is true. But the last part, I don't think
Speaker 1: they did a lot of trickery. I don't think they
Speaker 1: did a lot of bridal trickery. That's what. No, it's
Speaker 1: from It's from the Bible. There's a story about Jacob work.
Speaker 1: I think it's Jacob. It was a Jacob to work for,
Speaker 1: like a formative interview. You guys are smart. Oh, should
Speaker 1: we get to more dirty stuff? So no, no, in
Speaker 1: the Bible, but this isn't like a deep cut. This
Speaker 1: is one of the stories of the Bible where I
Speaker 1: think it was Jacob he worked for. He went to
Speaker 1: someone's farm and he worked for like seven years to
Speaker 1: marry his daughter. And because he came to the well,
Speaker 1: but was Isaac. He came to the well, he saw
Speaker 1: the girl. I think Rachel. I don't know what. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: they're all hi, it's me right, so I'm here at
Speaker 1: the well. Does not sound like a name. I got
Speaker 1: a hundred two followers on he started the haircut. He
Speaker 1: went to the well and he saw Rachel, and he's like,
Speaker 1: I gotta have her, and uh. And then it's like
Speaker 1: the Spike Lee film, She's got to have it. So
Speaker 1: he worked for seven years and then he was like, okay,
Speaker 1: you can wear my daughter. And then then after the wedding,
Speaker 1: he lifted up the veil and it was the ugly daughter.
Speaker 1: And so that does happen. No, it happened in the bike.
Speaker 1: And then he worked seven more years and he got
Speaker 1: the girl that he wanted. Oh my god, that girl,
Speaker 1: the ugly girl must have felt so bad about herself. Well,
Speaker 1: she still got to stay in the in the relationship
Speaker 1: with him, to stay in the well. Orthodox marriages still
Speaker 1: do the pain ceremony. Why do they do it because
Speaker 1: it's symbolic. That part sounds fine. We tried to modernize
Speaker 1: it because we're a more progressive couple. So I actually
Speaker 1: put a napkin over my dick as well so she
Speaker 1: can make sure he was She was like, that's small enough.
Speaker 1: That's the one. And but you guys did have sex
Speaker 1: in the room immediately after while the ceremony was happening. Ceremony.
Speaker 1: The moment we stepped on the glass, we walked. It
Speaker 1: was at our house. We walked into our bedroom. Perfect.
Speaker 1: It wasn't perfect because the wedding ceremony was happening literally
Speaker 1: outside of our window, and I'm trying to like keep
Speaker 1: it up and smash and I'm like your stepmother eating
Speaker 1: a turkey slider, you know what I mean. Yeah, so,
Speaker 1: but you made it. We consummated and we did actually
Speaker 1: I think we both had orgasms, maybe so romantic, and
Speaker 1: then we put that that was the last one she had.
Speaker 1: We did have a bloody sheet we made. We made
Speaker 1: a fake bloody sheet that said she's a virgin on it.
Speaker 1: I'll send you the link. You can post that as
Speaker 1: our picture, Yeah we will. So do you Okay, do
Speaker 1: you remember back like the first time you guys have
Speaker 1: ever had sex? I think I said to her the
Speaker 1: move that she was impressed with me. Yeah, this was
Speaker 1: a good move. I was going slowly. I was going
Speaker 1: slowly again because I wanted to make sure that he
Speaker 1: waited like three weeks. Yeah, I waited along. We just
Speaker 1: I didn't want to like choose my friend. I didn't
Speaker 1: want to go ruin a friendship and then just be like, oh,
Speaker 1: forget it now, I'll the awkward from now on. True
Speaker 1: and you and also comedians were calling me telling me
Speaker 1: he was a player. Is that true. You never told
Speaker 1: me that that's a guy exclusive that's true? Who told
Speaker 1: you that? I'll tell you said that they were. They
Speaker 1: weren't wrong, They weren't. I was her friend and I
Speaker 1: knew not that what you're doing is wrong either. But
Speaker 1: it's like, hey, if you like him a lot, like,
Speaker 1: just heads up, he focks a lot. I think that's bullshit. Man,
Speaker 1: I would never do that to somebody. What if I
Speaker 1: did that? Hey, just so you know, the girl you're
Speaker 1: with very promiscuous, just that not in a bad way.
Speaker 1: That's why I'm like, it's not because what you're doing
Speaker 1: isn't wrong at all. But like if if I was
Speaker 1: her friend and she was like, oh my god, I
Speaker 1: really have a crush on this person, and I knew
Speaker 1: that you tend to not like relationships, I might be like, okay,
Speaker 1: I just heads up. I usually his pattern tends to be,
Speaker 1: but maybe it'll be different. But it different. That's such
Speaker 1: a cunty. You know what, Maybe maybe you're lose girlfriends.
Speaker 1: That is true too. I've never done that to anybody,
Speaker 1: but I could see it. I definitely had that happen
Speaker 1: to me a lot. So here's my theory. Like male
Speaker 1: comedians doing it about dick move. Maybe they're jealous. I
Speaker 1: didn't date a lot of comed comedians. I tried to
Speaker 1: keep keep the sort of you know, I didn't want
Speaker 1: to cross contaminate. I tried. I tried to wipe uh
Speaker 1: front to back when I came to set, Yeah I
Speaker 1: hear you, but but no. I had a lot of people,
Speaker 1: a lot of girls that I would be out with,
Speaker 1: would go, I hear you're a player, and it's like,
Speaker 1: by the way, I always I've never I've never once yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: let's get out of this well. And I've never once
Speaker 1: had a girl that said I hear your player, not
Speaker 1: hook up with me because of what they heard. Because
Speaker 1: the girls that heard I was a player that didn't
Speaker 1: weren't interested. We're not on the date with me. They
Speaker 1: heard that were like, funk that I'm not interested. So
Speaker 1: it was just to be like, I don't know what
Speaker 1: it was about exactly. Dick so his move, but I
Speaker 1: wasn't tell what was his move was. We went out
Speaker 1: a few times, watch a few movies. They got increasingly
Speaker 1: action oriented, and then Mosha was walking me. I was
Speaker 1: walking him to the front gate and he said the
Speaker 1: next time I come over, I'm going to spend the night.
Speaker 1: How powerful? Yeah? And then I was like, and also
Speaker 1: your outfit, you need to step it up a little,
Speaker 1: you know, I didn't. It was a joke. One time,
Speaker 1: a guy, the best pickup one I've ever gotten, was like,
Speaker 1: have dinner with me, And I was like, yes, what
Speaker 1: do you like about that so much? I don't know.
Speaker 1: I was just direct, and it was like he knew
Speaker 1: what he wanted, but he wasn't too forceable to was like,
Speaker 1: have dinner with me. It was just like I met
Speaker 1: this guy at a bar once and he brought his
Speaker 1: friend and I was kind of into the friend. And
Speaker 1: then the guy who liked me, who asked me out,
Speaker 1: went to the bathroom and his friends started making out
Speaker 1: with me. That's you got what you wanted. But then
Speaker 1: did he mean what happened when the guy came back
Speaker 1: from the back. We had a little secret. Oh and
Speaker 1: then you like came my handy on the table or something.
Speaker 1: I don't remember that. I don't really remember what up
Speaker 1: and after, but that was like I thought, that was
Speaker 1: like a good pickup. I had a girl once at
Speaker 1: a comedy club come up to me. She was on
Speaker 1: the date. Her and her date came up to buy
Speaker 1: a CD, signed it, he went to the bathroom. As
Speaker 1: he went to the bathroom, she gave me her phone
Speaker 1: number and then we went out. Whoa you went out
Speaker 1: with her? They were they opened? I mean no, he
Speaker 1: went out there. He let her give him a massage
Speaker 1: and a hand job, and then I left. I've heard
Speaker 1: instance of that like very common. Wait, yeah, they were
Speaker 1: just gave you a massage and a handshop. No, I'm
Speaker 1: saying that's his idea of a date. No, this is
Speaker 1: your idea of my sex life is that it was
Speaker 1: all like backcrob sex goodbye. But there was more to
Speaker 1: it than that. What else were it being? Being like
Speaker 1: a famous male comedian? I can only imagine because our
Speaker 1: unfamous male comedian friends get put from the podcast. So
Speaker 1: show me the after coming on the podcast, and I am,
Speaker 1: honestly I'm floored. Yeah, how much the podcast to be
Speaker 1: to them getting like, oh my god, these chicks are
Speaker 1: messaging have a hot horror listenership. I gotta listen, girl.
Speaker 1: Oh it's great, But I mean this is it's you know,
Speaker 1: a lot of sluts listening and we're hosting. Doesn't even sluts?
Speaker 1: I do somebody don't believe in sluts. What a line.
Speaker 1: That's how you that's how you st the next time.
Speaker 1: Next time I come over, I'm going to spend the night.
Speaker 1: Um No, it's not that I don't believe in slut
Speaker 1: I always feel like, uh, it's this is gonna make
Speaker 1: me sound like I'm like trying to demonstrate how like
Speaker 1: progressive I am. But the truth is like, but I
Speaker 1: know that it's true. My mother like like definitely modeled
Speaker 1: a form of sexuality to me when she sucked me
Speaker 1: I was a young child. Ye, it's going to a
Speaker 1: really dark place. And no, my mother was like very
Speaker 1: evangelical about like women's sexuality, being like, I know it's gross.
Speaker 1: It was the worst thing in the world. But it
Speaker 1: was true. You didn't know it at the time that
Speaker 1: it was no no, no, no, no, no, I mean
Speaker 1: it's gross my mother. No. No. In the opposite direction
Speaker 1: that I think you're thinking this is going, my mother
Speaker 1: started giving me sex education. Oh too open. I always
Speaker 1: describe it as like if there's such a thing as
Speaker 1: being too accepting of homosede sruality. My mother had that
Speaker 1: she wanted a gay every years. Every year she'd be like,
Speaker 1: are you guys gay, We're not. We're not gay. It's okay.
Speaker 1: We totally understand that it's okay if we are, but
Speaker 1: we're not. I mean, are you gay? But Mosha also
Speaker 1: lived with his grandmother, her mother, and he told me
Speaker 1: the story. He was like fourteen and yeah, maybe sixteen.
Speaker 1: He was dating girls and bringing him up and his
Speaker 1: grandma stopped and bring up his bedroom and she was like,
Speaker 1: you better be pleasuring that your grandpa made me come
Speaker 1: every time. Yeah, she goes, I hope that you're satisfied.
Speaker 1: I know she'd been bringing women around. I was like, yeah, Grandma,
Speaker 1: She's like, I just hope that you're satisfying them. I'm like,
Speaker 1: on what fucking level. She's like, oh no, on a
Speaker 1: sexual of it. You know, Grandpa Dick made me climax
Speaker 1: every By the way, my grandmother fucking hated Grandpa Dick's guts.
Speaker 1: She was Grandpa Dick Dick. She ever dated another man
Speaker 1: after him. She hate him. Any time he would get
Speaker 1: brought up, she she would like go ap plectic with
Speaker 1: like resent really given her that Dick. And that was
Speaker 1: the only positive thing I ever heard her say about
Speaker 1: my grandfather my entire childhood, which was was that he
Speaker 1: made her Grandma come every time they were hate. Well
Speaker 1: they weren't Grandma comes then probably I know she was
Speaker 1: just a mock com you know the thing is, And
Speaker 1: it actually scarred me that conversation. I still can't have
Speaker 1: an orgasm with Natasha until I scream, you just got
Speaker 1: grandpa cast shirt. But your mother, I remember when I
Speaker 1: met your mom. Not that not the first time I
Speaker 1: met her, but I remember once we were like walking
Speaker 1: down the street and his mom's deaf. So she's always like,
Speaker 1: you know, you know, we communicate, but you know through
Speaker 1: you give her heads up that your mom was deaf. No,
Speaker 1: it was like it was like get out. I would
Speaker 1: have been like, what why are you looking at we?
Speaker 1: Like I wouldn't have told her. She picked up this
Speaker 1: magazine and we were walking down the street and it
Speaker 1: had like like a sex It was like the crutchless
Speaker 1: Panti cutch panties that she was like, you should get
Speaker 1: this promotion, you should wear this. She was like pointing
Speaker 1: at it and telling me. But like she's not doing
Speaker 1: it for attention, She's not doing it just talks like
Speaker 1: she doesn't have just a very open person. People in
Speaker 1: general don't have boundaries. That's like a thing. I don't
Speaker 1: know that. Yeah, that's like they're incredibly it was it
Speaker 1: was they're incredibly direct. That's like like the famous thing
Speaker 1: about a deaf person is when they see you, they
Speaker 1: haven't seen you in a few years. Like almost a
Speaker 1: famous axiom about a deaf person will go, oh you're fat. Now, wow,
Speaker 1: you become It's like the honesty that children have observationale
Speaker 1: so far. They fart openly, but that's not about not
Speaker 1: having boundaries. That's about not being able to hear farting,
Speaker 1: you know, So they hope this one silent. No, they
Speaker 1: don't care. There isn't a concept of silence. So it's
Speaker 1: like they know everything silence that's the norm, and they
Speaker 1: know they know certainly. Yeah, but but they know also
Speaker 1: that hearing people think that fartings like like embarrassing. They
Speaker 1: know that they're not dumb, they just aren't take it.
Speaker 1: Take very good. I want to give you cheers with
Speaker 1: the microphone, but it's they know that it's embarrassing and
Speaker 1: hearing people, but how could it synthesize into their experiential
Speaker 1: reality be embarrassed about a sound they don't never heard
Speaker 1: of sound? Yeah, what do you think they think it
Speaker 1: sounds like. I don't know. That's a great They don't
Speaker 1: know what anything sounds like. Yeah, so they don't they
Speaker 1: I've never met a dead person doesn't fart openly. That
Speaker 1: is something I've never thought about. How would you even
Speaker 1: know how to make you know, how we all have
Speaker 1: fart silencing techniques that we do with our assholes. How
Speaker 1: would you know when it was effective? You wouldn't even
Speaker 1: have the information. Oh my god, I don't have that.
Speaker 1: Oh that's right, because your asshole is totally blown out.
Speaker 1: So it's always just like, yeah, yeah, it's really an issue.
Speaker 1: And some people like watching that important. I'm like you,
Speaker 1: I say, we just saw Pink Flamingo and they do
Speaker 1: that in that film John Waters film where there's a
Speaker 1: performer that gets up and he like is doing like
Speaker 1: asshole performance. Time you perked up in that movie, I
Speaker 1: was like, mom, so my mother. Another thing my mother
Speaker 1: did was she brought me when I hit puberty, she
Speaker 1: brought me with her to do you guys have good
Speaker 1: vibrations in New York? Um, yeah, I know that's a
Speaker 1: sex story. In uh, it was in Toronto. I went
Speaker 1: to in the Bay Area. The Bay Area based. Uh
Speaker 1: so you had to buy one on the you got
Speaker 1: a road vibrator. Yeah, it's like doing like comedians do
Speaker 1: road laundry, you know, just like buy sox and underwear
Speaker 1: with comedian road vibrators. That's so Anyway, my mom brought
Speaker 1: me to Good Vibrations and the men comedians just sucked
Speaker 1: the waitresses. I know. It's so much more convenient because
Speaker 1: then security doesn't take out your vibrary and go woo this. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So my mom my mom brought me to Good Vibrations
Speaker 1: when I was like thirteen and was like, you can
Speaker 1: buy any of the text based erotica, lesbian text based
Speaker 1: erotica that you want. What's the sign language for lesbian
Speaker 1: text based erotica? I mean, lesbian is lesbian? Like this,
Speaker 1: but it looks like pussying, But it isn't it. Maybe
Speaker 1: it is like you're scratching your ches. This is gay,
Speaker 1: this is gay, and this is this is a g
Speaker 1: This is a now scintillating podcasting for the view. That's
Speaker 1: why I'm kind of trying to narrate it here for you.
Speaker 1: The sign for lesbian definitely looks like there's a big
Speaker 1: old face. So she she got me like this kind
Speaker 1: of like pulpy erotica to masturbate too, because she wanted
Speaker 1: My mom did mortified. Right, how old were you? Could
Speaker 1: you masturbate this something that your mom picked out for you?
Speaker 1: Though I would be thinking of my mother the whole time.
Speaker 1: She let me pick it out. Yeah, she let me
Speaker 1: pick it out. She wanted it to be lesbians. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because she was like from that iteration she wanted to
Speaker 1: be gay. She's from that well she knew I wasn't though.
Speaker 1: She was from the iteration of feminism that thought that
Speaker 1: pornography was inherently objectifying. She's old school, you know, so
Speaker 1: she's like, it's objectifying inherently. So let me get you
Speaker 1: this lesbian text based erotica. So there'll be like ninety
Speaker 1: pages of expository prose poetry before you get to the pussy,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like, and so that was her.
Speaker 1: Do you get to pussy and text based? Yeah, but
Speaker 1: it's always like very empowering to the woman, like how
Speaker 1: what how's it phrase? Even like you've never read Oh really,
Speaker 1: it's like kind of like you know, I mean, it's
Speaker 1: always this like long story and build up about like
Speaker 1: you're supposed to be like jerked, like putting oil off
Speaker 1: when you read your porn. I could jerk off right away,
Speaker 1: or do you read it then jerk off to it later.
Speaker 1: Penthouse Forum is based on text based erotica I didn't
Speaker 1: know about. I mean, that's not when that's not lesbian
Speaker 1: or or feminist, but it's it's Penthouse. It's a straight
Speaker 1: up pornography. But it's Oh, it's these stories like I
Speaker 1: never thought this would happen to me, but I was
Speaker 1: writing on the subway today and a woman uncrossed her
Speaker 1: legs and was wearing no underwear. She made eyes at me,
Speaker 1: followed me, it's like a story that would Yeah, so
Speaker 1: then you kind of know when to start, like putting
Speaker 1: the lotion on your hand. Um, and do the pages
Speaker 1: get ruined? I mean it's it's like asking to ruin
Speaker 1: the book or they do? They do? And I know
Speaker 1: I only read it once and I remember, Yeah, it
Speaker 1: was it was good. It was nice because it's like literary.
Speaker 1: You know, it was like reading. You have such a
Speaker 1: full vocabulary. Do you watch porn, Natasha? Sure? You like
Speaker 1: that all together? It's so much fun. We've done it before,
Speaker 1: I've done it. Did it not go because see sometimes
Speaker 1: I'm like that, don't pick that video. I don't like her.
Speaker 1: I was just like really into the pro lapse asshole
Speaker 1: stuff and she kind of wasn't Were you really? No? No,
Speaker 1: I mean because something people we are. No, I think
Speaker 1: that's really intensely gross. Not for me. Yeah, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I wish I had never looked it up, to be honest,
Speaker 1: Oh you looked that up because we started talking about
Speaker 1: it on the podcast and then I was like, I
Speaker 1: have to see it now, and now I can't unsee it.
Speaker 1: I'm thinking I never looking up. It's pretty hardcore. Have
Speaker 1: you got my mom? We saw that was a tight asshole. No,
Speaker 1: that guy pushed it out and he pushed it out,
Speaker 1: pro lapses all the way popped all the way out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's pretty pretty gnarly. I've seen it all, man. I
Speaker 1: mean I haven't seen Chopper, but I've seen everything else.
Speaker 1: I've seen, like you know, you see, I've seen that Mr.
Speaker 1: Hands video. I've seen that. It's where the guy gets
Speaker 1: sucked to death by a horse. He doesn't die in
Speaker 1: the videos from Complication. Yeah. Jim Norton had a famous
Speaker 1: bit about it does a horse a person? Because does
Speaker 1: a person have to back up their ass on the
Speaker 1: horses dick. It's a huge it's really intense, okay, because
Speaker 1: the video you see the moment. Basically there's a man
Speaker 1: and he's bent over and there's like a whole squad
Speaker 1: of guys, right, they're all like kind of involved. So
Speaker 1: he's bent over and they're kind of guy. There's a
Speaker 1: guy who's job. Jim Norton does the best bit about
Speaker 1: this just FYI, but there's a guy who's who's um
Speaker 1: guiding the dick into the man's asshole and the horses
Speaker 1: sucking it accomplice. There's like a whole and there's a
Speaker 1: film crew as well, you know. So there's a moment
Speaker 1: that you see very clearly and viscerally where the guy
Speaker 1: whose job was to kind of guide the horse dick.
Speaker 1: I don't know if he got distracted or like horny
Speaker 1: or what, but you can kind of see him like
Speaker 1: he kind of lets go and it's doing something else
Speaker 1: that you can see it. And then the horse is like,
Speaker 1: oh shit, it's time, and he just thrust all the
Speaker 1: way into the man and the guy still seems to
Speaker 1: be enjoying it. Can you imagine, But he died. He
Speaker 1: died later. Can you imagine like the pre production meeting
Speaker 1: for that, Like, what's wrong with all these people? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I did he get paid? You know? I think that
Speaker 1: should be called mr head. I was just thinking of
Speaker 1: like what's the nature horse? Vedeos are hot? I get it,
Speaker 1: but I don't want to Yeah like quest? Right? You
Speaker 1: ever see that play Quest? Yeah? They always have like
Speaker 1: a really like muscular man playing at this. Well. I
Speaker 1: wonder I've always often wondered about women that do besteality porn,
Speaker 1: like what's the pay differential that makes it worth? It?
Speaker 1: Really funny if the dog or what the animal got
Speaker 1: paid more than the woman. But you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: it's like you do regular porn, you get like a
Speaker 1: hundred and fifty and they're like, but if you suck
Speaker 1: a German shepherd, it's a hundred and eighty. Like maybe
Speaker 1: if you did besity porn and you weren't like raped
Speaker 1: by your father, you were like raped by both points
Speaker 1: by wolves, you were raped by wolves. I mean the
Speaker 1: probably like that's it can be. You can corner the
Speaker 1: market with something niche, whereas the people who are doing
Speaker 1: like the regular board are more emosible because that's a problem.
Speaker 1: Like becoming someone who's actually asked for again and again
Speaker 1: in the porn industry is nearly impossible. Is that right?
Speaker 1: So are most people do most people that do porn
Speaker 1: do it only one time, a couple of times, couple
Speaker 1: of times. Yeah, we interviewed a girl, a woman who
Speaker 1: basically is only called to do scenes with black men
Speaker 1: because the industry is also racist. So it's like she
Speaker 1: gets more work because they can call her to funk
Speaker 1: the black dudes. But then, uh, she's like kind of
Speaker 1: almost tarnished in the white industry. Yeah, it's really But then, honestly,
Speaker 1: I'm very on board with that. You guys are saying
Speaker 1: it's sucked up, but it makes so much sense to me.
Speaker 1: But what about all these porn stars. There's just so
Speaker 1: many of them, there's so many more people trying porn.
Speaker 1: Them are people that we know as porn stars. What
Speaker 1: is the locomotive force that keeps these women do the
Speaker 1: porn in the first place? You watched How Girls Wanted
Speaker 1: on Netflix Popular. I mean it kind of gets into it.
Speaker 1: I mean a lot of porn people that I've talked
Speaker 1: to that are like famous have problems with that documentary.
Speaker 1: Because each side of it. Yeah, I mean it has
Speaker 1: a slant, right, but why not just how why not
Speaker 1: interview one person like Nina Hartley who could say okay,
Speaker 1: and yet there is this other version right kind of hard.
Speaker 1: But when we interviewed us to she was like, I
Speaker 1: literally was walking down the street. I've always wanted to
Speaker 1: be a porn star, and some guy like approached me
Speaker 1: while I was walking with my Boyfriend's like, hey, you
Speaker 1: want to do like naked stuff and be a dominatrix.
Speaker 1: And she was like yeah, and she literally went upstairs
Speaker 1: that day. She had always wanted to be a porn yes, yes,
Speaker 1: and it worked out and she's never had any backs.
Speaker 1: I'm like, good for you. There are very few people
Speaker 1: and I I see what she could the book since
Speaker 1: I'm making no looks, I just totally I totally feel you.
Speaker 1: It was like a compromise or something, you know, I
Speaker 1: want to be it or like that's a more current
Speaker 1: iteration of but my mom is an old fashioned woman
Speaker 1: in that way, and that she thinks that part our
Speaker 1: pay is inherently objectifying. Right, So yeah, more contemporary version
Speaker 1: would be if a woman or a man for that matter,
Speaker 1: so chooses and and wants to do it. It can
Speaker 1: be very empowering, you know, which is why I want
Speaker 1: to be the moment. I want to be the most
Speaker 1: progressive guy. It can be so totally download as much
Speaker 1: pornography as I can and as I ejaculate a whisper
Speaker 1: to the computer. You go, girl, I will do that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you gotta listen. You gotta listen to the Butterfly
Speaker 1: effect that this the new audible series that because are
Speaker 1: you consuming free porn? Are you consuming porn that you
Speaker 1: pay for? Oh? I eclusively pay for point No, porn
Speaker 1: is like the Starbucks bathroom of the world. It is
Speaker 1: for all of us, and it is free. At the
Speaker 1: nicest thing you can do is for the porn industry,
Speaker 1: as a consumer of porn is purchased. The point. Now,
Speaker 1: I was going to do trench Cope, but what is
Speaker 1: the wait? What's trench cope? Soy is thing? Well, it's
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's out anymore, but it was
Speaker 1: her porn company. And but I don't I don't want
Speaker 1: to watch her. She's hot? But wait, isn't what is
Speaker 1: porn hub seems to be within the like activist porn community. Wrong,
Speaker 1: I didn't know that either I thought they were because
Speaker 1: they were behind the bill in Los Angeles to force
Speaker 1: women to force men to wear condoms. They were behind
Speaker 1: the counter. They just seemed they positioned themselves as if
Speaker 1: they were activists. But a lot of a lot of
Speaker 1: think of all the companies that do like fake charity
Speaker 1: make themselves look good. I mean, basically, this one dude
Speaker 1: named Fabian, Where's live Brussels? He lives in Brussels, and
Speaker 1: he kind of has the market cornered on the porn
Speaker 1: industry and he's making money, and like these people are
Speaker 1: making nothing off the porn because it's all uploaded for
Speaker 1: free to porn hub, kind of like the it's like
Speaker 1: the Napster of porn. Do you pay for? Do you
Speaker 1: watch pornography so rarely? But after listening to the Butterfly effact,
Speaker 1: I was like, I should subscribe. Also when you pay
Speaker 1: for it, all of a sudden, you like get your
Speaker 1: credit card in foe in and you're like, you know
Speaker 1: it feels less and not the miss right and exactly
Speaker 1: and that you That's exactly how Fabian ended up making
Speaker 1: so much money because the shame that people felt in
Speaker 1: consuming porn, so they were so they were like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's so much better if it's anonymous exactly. I remember
Speaker 1: when I found an ex boyfriend who I lived with,
Speaker 1: like his two Duffel bags full of VHS. But that's like,
Speaker 1: that's so dirty to think that someone has that. But
Speaker 1: like it's not that different than someone who's like, it's
Speaker 1: the same thing, yeah, having to fold your desktop. When
Speaker 1: I first started watching pornography, I would rent it from
Speaker 1: a VHS and I would rent it from There was
Speaker 1: a video store on my block that would allow me
Speaker 1: block luster. I don't think they didn't have they were
Speaker 1: very clean up, but there was. They would rent me
Speaker 1: porns for some reason. I was not I was not
Speaker 1: of age, but they would and my we were regretting
Speaker 1: their number one customer. We grew up poor, so we
Speaker 1: had a VCR, but we had so we had a VCR,
Speaker 1: so our remote had broken and we couldn't afford to
Speaker 1: get a new VCR. So I would be watching porn like, well,
Speaker 1: you know, you like scrubbed to the exciting parts. So
Speaker 1: I would be like jerking off, and I would have
Speaker 1: a broom in my hand and I would be jerking
Speaker 1: off and I would be poking the fast forward button
Speaker 1: are trying to get to the good stuff so I
Speaker 1: could catch it. So bol I had the jerk off
Speaker 1: with a broom for remote control. Beautiful. I actually came
Speaker 1: a glass slipper and I put it on Natasha that
Speaker 1: first night. So how long have you guys been together total?
Speaker 1: I think we've been together for about five years now,
Speaker 1: is that true? Is that true? Yeah? Oh okay, I
Speaker 1: don't know why I thought it was like twenty two year.
Speaker 1: Oh we we we dated for like three years and
Speaker 1: then we got married. And she's my first honestly, But
Speaker 1: the truth of this whole funny thing, she's definitely my
Speaker 1: first real love and my first real relationship. Is he
Speaker 1: for your first love? Well, I've just been like I've
Speaker 1: had like to like ten two year relationships. So yeah,
Speaker 1: so you're you're more in the you know, I was
Speaker 1: always kind of like living with people and you know,
Speaker 1: getting in there. How how do you guys work together effectively?
Speaker 1: And do you get annoyed with each other? Do you
Speaker 1: get trying to figure this out my own relationship? Um, well, uh,
Speaker 1: I think we don't either. Neither of us have like
Speaker 1: a big ego about Like I remember one time I
Speaker 1: was dating this guy, and we decided to write a
Speaker 1: script together and I like made like two changes and
Speaker 1: he took the script and like threw it across the
Speaker 1: room and start screaming and like I had never seen
Speaker 1: that side of me. No, he was awful, But the
Speaker 1: point he wasn't a comedian. But the point is is
Speaker 1: like I was like, oh, this person has like problems,
Speaker 1: you know, like he couldn't collaborate. So it's like you
Speaker 1: need to be with someone obviously who is an open person,
Speaker 1: who is just like, oh, it has to be my way.
Speaker 1: My ideas are the best, you know, I think the motion.
Speaker 1: I like, we're both just very open people, so we
Speaker 1: are able to collaborate. And me also were like our
Speaker 1: main writer on another period, thank you. Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: Natasha created it with Ricky Lenom and they're they're responsible,
Speaker 1: They're the engine that drives that thing. But I did work.
Speaker 1: I have worked on every season and was like sort
Speaker 1: of one of the main writers on the show. And
Speaker 1: I will say that having I mean this, I have
Speaker 1: to say thank you to my mother for because like
Speaker 1: a lot I do feel I had these moments where
Speaker 1: I would feel like, oh wow, a man, A lot
Speaker 1: of men in this situation subordinate to their wife in
Speaker 1: this office would be incredibly threatened by this, and I
Speaker 1: didn't feel threatened. I felt like super empowered by it
Speaker 1: because I was like, oh, awesome, I get like all
Speaker 1: my jokes in even shut me down, like not like
Speaker 1: do you guys like yeah, I would only shut him
Speaker 1: down if I really didn't think something was a good idea.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to be afraid that. I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: cool with that in the same way I'm cool with
Speaker 1: it in any writer's room, which is that yeah, exactly
Speaker 1: the betterment of the project, then we're all good. I
Speaker 1: fight for my ideas. I can fight for my ideas
Speaker 1: a little bit more on this show than I would
Speaker 1: on another. Here's my question. Do you guys ever go
Speaker 1: home and then you kind of bring more home and
Speaker 1: you're like, I got we got a stop. Oh we
Speaker 1: had this root when we when because we would shoot
Speaker 1: another period at the Paramore Mansion, which is like this
Speaker 1: really beautiful nineteen twenties like mansion in l A. And
Speaker 1: then when we would like cross the threshold because we
Speaker 1: would walk there because it's right by our house. So
Speaker 1: when we would cross across the threshold at the end
Speaker 1: of the day to walk home. Then we wouldn't talk
Speaker 1: about wouldn't talk about work because it's not even about work,
Speaker 1: because it would just be like about like it would
Speaker 1: just be like resentment purging. It's just like, what's the
Speaker 1: point here? You know? This just feels poisonous, But I
Speaker 1: think we we worked together pretty well. Yeah, and I do,
Speaker 1: I honestly do credit my mom for like instilling in
Speaker 1: me this idea that like this whole like this whole
Speaker 1: notion that a that a man woman relational dynamic is
Speaker 1: supposed to be like power, asymmetrical power and also asymmetrical
Speaker 1: sexual experience. I think they're actually weirdly linked, right, like
Speaker 1: the a man's ideal in this world like a gorilla man.
Speaker 1: It's like I want I want to fuck thousands of women,
Speaker 1: and I want my women who have only fucked me,
Speaker 1: and I want to make all the money and I
Speaker 1: want her. But you know it's like that like I
Speaker 1: have a friend who's a comedian, and then her her
Speaker 1: boyfriend who's a comedian, won't like follow her, you know
Speaker 1: really yeah, because people have egos and they have like
Speaker 1: that kind of your partner. That's like there's I mean
Speaker 1: a man who have that like, what do you call
Speaker 1: It's like Viking energy or it's like that kind of
Speaker 1: just like her. I like, I always I always think like, oh,
Speaker 1: we're it's two thousand seventeen. There's no dudes. I think that,
Speaker 1: and then won't like suck it either talk to somebody
Speaker 1: in real life or sometimes even on the podcast of
Speaker 1: like well, I don't want my girl to sleep with
Speaker 1: a bunch of people, but it's cool. They literally like
Speaker 1: it's okay if I do it. It's not okay if
Speaker 1: she doesn't mean I'm like, you see anything wrong with that?
Speaker 1: And they're like no. And also, do you think that
Speaker 1: you have the residual sexuality of every partner You're it
Speaker 1: just stays in your pussy or something. It's just like, hey,
Speaker 1: it's me Brian. Article actually about just that that women
Speaker 1: do retain DNA from every sexual partner, food, everything, every
Speaker 1: every like statistic. I say, you're like, actually, in fact,
Speaker 1: scientifically you're wrong. Only because we've spent number one so
Speaker 1: long joing the podcast. I love looking stuff up. And
Speaker 1: then we my best friend is getting a PhD in
Speaker 1: sexual psychology just lucky for me, and so he gave
Speaker 1: me access when we were writing our book to all
Speaker 1: these studies so weirdly in our sad so weirdly you're
Speaker 1: saying that the guys are right, that it is like
Speaker 1: but it's not a bad thing. Yeah, I mean it's
Speaker 1: I think it's okay. I mean there's some like things
Speaker 1: that people think that are true and it's fine. I
Speaker 1: don't know. And you know about you know about that
Speaker 1: they're people are weird about black guys. Have you heard
Speaker 1: about this? Yeah, I actually read a study that, Yeah,
Speaker 1: according to this doctor sexuality black guys, people are weird
Speaker 1: about them. You know that. That's so there's the inherently
Speaker 1: sexist idea like I want my woman who have only
Speaker 1: slept with this many people, And then there's this inherently
Speaker 1: racist and sexist which is a nice double whammy, which
Speaker 1: is I want my I want her to never have
Speaker 1: had sex with a black guy. Yeah, because they're they're
Speaker 1: everyone's stereotypical brain I've met. It's about penis side. It
Speaker 1: all comes back to the industry because because the men
Speaker 1: don't want to watch a black eye like a white woman,
Speaker 1: because you like, men watch because they want to see
Speaker 1: themselves in that role. And if it's this black guy
Speaker 1: with a huge dick, like that doesn't feel like average
Speaker 1: Joe sitting on his couch. But you do know men
Speaker 1: who are like I don't want my girlfriend who have
Speaker 1: had sex with a black man. I have heard that
Speaker 1: sentiment express yeah, yeah, yeah, it's pretty crazy as if
Speaker 1: like I mean, but really it's like they own that pussy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: for sure. It's all about it's all about like weird
Speaker 1: white insecurity about oh yeah, once she gets sucked by that.
Speaker 1: I mean, as if every black man has the same
Speaker 1: size penis, as if every black man is a monolithic experience.
Speaker 1: Every black guys is not have a big penis, and
Speaker 1: also sometimes say that these big penises like hurt. I know,
Speaker 1: that's the thing. It's like I the only one I say,
Speaker 1: and I almost had in my life. The guys his
Speaker 1: dick was too big, and I was like, yeah, that's
Speaker 1: not gonna fish. Yeah, it looked I looked at it.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I've also said no to a penis that
Speaker 1: was too big. It was like penis that was too small.
Speaker 1: It was like that, Yeah, that's kind of cool. Though.
Speaker 1: I bet that guy was like, well, you know, I
Speaker 1: didn't get late tonight, but I'm gonna call that a win.
Speaker 1: I always say yes and just grin embarrassed. I mean always,
Speaker 1: you mean you always used to? Are you always? Always? Now?
Speaker 1: Give you guys say no to a guy. That's so
Speaker 1: sad because it's like at the place where you're about
Speaker 1: to have sex and like, uh, that's well. I wasn't like,
Speaker 1: would you at least be like, oh, you know, I
Speaker 1: don't feel well? No, because it was too obvious. No,
Speaker 1: I couldn't fit in my mouth. Wow, this guy's I
Speaker 1: did other stuff, And I mean I think it's I
Speaker 1: think it's important if you think something is actually going
Speaker 1: to cause you pain to be like I'm not ready right,
Speaker 1: and I scared me. I didn't know Dix could be
Speaker 1: that big and I was. And like you said, it's
Speaker 1: not a bad reason. I mean some it's going to
Speaker 1: fit in some hole. You know, I'm gonna be fine
Speaker 1: with it. I would feel like if I was a woman,
Speaker 1: I would have done it. I would have taken the
Speaker 1: pain in order to have had the experience that you know,
Speaker 1: it feels like I've done that too many times in
Speaker 1: my life. Experience was never worth it. I did with
Speaker 1: the emotional stuff, yea, with big emotional dicks, right, this
Speaker 1: is going to take the emotional dick but not the
Speaker 1: physical one. What if it like opens it bigger than
Speaker 1: it's ever been before, and then it stays open and
Speaker 1: then like that is the change and the slumming on
Speaker 1: broad right. No, but that's the idea of a man
Speaker 1: thinking about his girl being with a bunch of guys,
Speaker 1: like it's been changed. Pussy's like the holl In Tonnel,
Speaker 1: like fuck you. You guys are on tour. Yeah, we
Speaker 1: are on tour. What's what's? And I saw on your
Speaker 1: you have like a pin tweet on your Twitter wall
Speaker 1: of a video you guys do like couples therapy in
Speaker 1: the It's Live Relationship cast. So fun is our third act.
Speaker 1: So basically what happens is, uh, Most goes first, and
Speaker 1: then I'm the headliner, no black dude on stage every night,
Speaker 1: so we we uh well, Most is very hard to follow,
Speaker 1: so sometimes I'll ask him if I can go, if
Speaker 1: I can go first, but we usually do try to
Speaker 1: trade off one of us as a set. The other
Speaker 1: one does the set, and then we bring the person
Speaker 1: that went on first backup for the third act, which
Speaker 1: is where we bring couples up on stage. And we've
Speaker 1: really been helping people. But also it's been very funny.
Speaker 1: We've gotten some great wisdom. Yeah, we've had some fun
Speaker 1: on this tour. Like we were in Miami and my
Speaker 1: clothes are right now. Is this joke about how homosexuality
Speaker 1: is evil and wrong and it's not a joke, no,
Speaker 1: is is how being uh like, you can't tell someone's
Speaker 1: gay by the way they're acting that that's a that
Speaker 1: that's a illusion. You can tell, you can make us,
Speaker 1: you can like guess, but you're they're only acting feminine,
Speaker 1: they're not acting gay. That's the crux of the joke. Anyway,
Speaker 1: that's the big closer, and then it's it's funny and yeah,
Speaker 1: well no, okay. The punchline is like we can all
Speaker 1: tell that, you know that, we can all tell that
Speaker 1: that's true because we all know there's tons of big
Speaker 1: or tough gay marines in Afghanistan or whatever. And then
Speaker 1: there's people like me like, oh, I simply a door pussy.
Speaker 1: It's just my favorite, you know, and it's this big
Speaker 1: act out or I do this thing and and then
Speaker 1: but the point of it is that you can't, like,
Speaker 1: it's this rhetorical point where you can't tell someone's gay.
Speaker 1: There's no such thing as gay acting. And then we
Speaker 1: call this couple up on stage and the guys like
Speaker 1: bounding up doing like rhythm gymnastics on its way up,
Speaker 1: and he's like the girls they're both eighteen, and he's
Speaker 1: just like, hey, I'm so glad to be here, and
Speaker 1: I just think that she bab blah blah, and the
Speaker 1: girl is like, they're both shaped like the girls shape.
Speaker 1: The girl, I go, what's your problem with him? She's like, well, sometimes,
Speaker 1: you know, well he makes me go to a dull
Speaker 1: concerts and he always tried to get up on stage.
Speaker 1: And we're like, it was so funny because and now
Speaker 1: do you because we bring up couples on our show too,
Speaker 1: but we call on the funk out and it used
Speaker 1: to be uncomfortable, but now it's kind of fun. Well,
Speaker 1: they were so young, yeah, that what was actually more
Speaker 1: fun than being like, yeah, this is gay, was to
Speaker 1: just kind of like have a conversation and the audience
Speaker 1: was like fully in yeah, And by the way, maybe
Speaker 1: we're wrong, Maybe my joke premise is true. Maybe he's
Speaker 1: just an effeminine dude, although the eighteen part makes me
Speaker 1: think like, but at any rate, it was like a
Speaker 1: fun moment to have with the audience where they were
Speaker 1: kind of like we were just like, well, you're eighteen,
Speaker 1: you're both going to college this year, and you're going
Speaker 1: to figure a bunch of stuff out. And he actually
Speaker 1: had his own gifts for them, a bottle of rose.
Speaker 1: He was very We brought a bottle of rose that
Speaker 1: night because the hotel gave us a free battle of
Speaker 1: They were like, why don't we bring it and maybe
Speaker 1: one of the couples will like, we'll deserve it somehow,
Speaker 1: and we're just like, oh my god, you need this rose.
Speaker 1: That's that's awesome. That that was fun. We we always
Speaker 1: it's always fun. As you know, you bring couples up
Speaker 1: there makes it fun because you never know you're gonna
Speaker 1: get and and you just kind of put on the
Speaker 1: spot and you kind of like to help people in
Speaker 1: front of people. Is very unique. And again that like
Speaker 1: safe space where everyone's holding an iPhone. Yeah, that's why
Speaker 1: we're always like, don't what happens here stays here because
Speaker 1: we that's kind of get into it. Have you ever
Speaker 1: gotten in a fight on the road. I'm sure we have, right,
Speaker 1: do you guys fight? Like? I always let Mosha kind
Speaker 1: of pick where we're gonna eat. We're not a big
Speaker 1: fighter cup, we don't fight a whole lot's nice. I'm
Speaker 1: sure we've gotten into a fight on the road. I
Speaker 1: mean we got Yeah, you do have a very nice
Speaker 1: rhythm with one. And you really do think, yeah, we
Speaker 1: got into a fight. Oh the other night. Do you
Speaker 1: guys think this is should we shouldn't talk about it?
Speaker 1: Probably are you talking about I mean, well, we haven't
Speaker 1: gotten anyone else as a and you get so I
Speaker 1: would like and neither two people we don't know. We
Speaker 1: were out to eat a while ago. We were out
Speaker 1: to eat in in Miami, let's say, and and I
Speaker 1: had and some friends of mine came out to eat,
Speaker 1: and the friend of Natasa was also to eat, and
Speaker 1: at the very end split it. We all split it
Speaker 1: four ways. At the end of the of the meal,
Speaker 1: she grabbed, Now this just say what I did. She
Speaker 1: basically was looking at this friend of mine. Natasha might
Speaker 1: have thought I had had some cheapness at some points
Speaker 1: in our relate. She grabbed the receipts and started looking
Speaker 1: through them, going basically checking to make sure that my
Speaker 1: friend had tipped enough. And I was the question, thank you,
Speaker 1: but but also do you think that if you're splitting
Speaker 1: the check, don't you usually all talk about what you're
Speaker 1: gonna Yes, everyone always says the number are I go?
Speaker 1: What did you check? Every time? And make sure that
Speaker 1: we're giving tables for like to don't you want to
Speaker 1: make sure that the waiter waitress is taken care of
Speaker 1: and also that they like both of us equally when
Speaker 1: we leave the restaurant exactly and if your friends the
Speaker 1: chief you want to make up. But that's not the
Speaker 1: question that we asked. But it is the responsibility of
Speaker 1: the table to make sure. But not it's a post
Speaker 1: fact though you can't grab the receipt and look through
Speaker 1: what everybody put. You were not being like like you
Speaker 1: were doing it very obviously on the chack. I was
Speaker 1: trying to do it just I was just like I
Speaker 1: feel like as a as a former waiter, like when
Speaker 1: I when we leave, when we leave, we leave the restaurant,
Speaker 1: I just want to make sure everything good because like
Speaker 1: I'm just aware of it. Any of my friend I
Speaker 1: had that it's been in the service industry is always
Speaker 1: like super just aware of the tipping. It's like there
Speaker 1: that now they are not on your side, is it's
Speaker 1: super ghos to pick it up and do that in
Speaker 1: front of it. I mean you have to. There has
Speaker 1: some way to do it. Non, I was trying to
Speaker 1: do evgtionally. He kept saying, it's good, it's good. It's
Speaker 1: good because I have I used. My mom used to
Speaker 1: check on my great aunts tipping because she was tipping
Speaker 1: like nineteen twenties, and my mom would always have to
Speaker 1: slip extra money on a ticket from World War two
Speaker 1: for a pantyhose she didn't know. Yeah, so my mom
Speaker 1: would always slip like an extra five because it would
Speaker 1: be what is the question, it's not know. This was
Speaker 1: our most recent fight, very boring, but we got a
Speaker 1: big fight about it, which was basically that it's it's
Speaker 1: it's socially wrong to be looking to make sure another
Speaker 1: person tipped enough in front of them. If you have
Speaker 1: self consciousness and you are a server that wants to
Speaker 1: make sure waitresses are taken care of, our waiters are
Speaker 1: taken care of, then your responsibility is to tip more,
Speaker 1: not to check to make sure. I would check you
Speaker 1: would check in front of a person? Yeah, well I would.
Speaker 1: I would. I would put it under the table and
Speaker 1: go okay, I just want to make sure everyone's reet.
Speaker 1: What do you do if the person has tipped? And
Speaker 1: then I would probably uh cross mine out and out
Speaker 1: a little more, but I would do it. So I'm
Speaker 1: pretty good at hiding things. If one person, I mean,
Speaker 1: I think that is bare minimum. Under that we start
Speaker 1: getting into scary tea. If if that person tipped ten
Speaker 1: percent or lower, I'll be like, because maybe the person
Speaker 1: secretly felt defended by something the waiter did, and it's
Speaker 1: like using that against them, and you know, you know
Speaker 1: what they said. That's about the extent of our fighting.
Speaker 1: We didn't really find. Wow, yeah, that's the biggest fight.
Speaker 1: Sounds like trying to brush off the fact that half
Speaker 1: these people around my side, these people first of all,
Speaker 1: for somebody that's so meticulous about tipping, you're certainly bad
Speaker 1: at math. There are two people here, and how can
Speaker 1: we where else? Are you going on tour? We will
Speaker 1: be Can we get tickets? Are you going to come? Yes? Well,
Speaker 1: it's cool, thank you, you're welcome. I'm from Philadelphia. We're
Speaker 1: going to Philadelphia on Thursday, and we love people in Philadelphi.
Speaker 1: Were very on Friday. Well then okay, on the shows
Speaker 1: this week, and that's why we we we have we
Speaker 1: have more Thursday, Philly and it will have been great
Speaker 1: and then we on Sunday we will be in Chicago.
Speaker 1: Me too. I'm going to Lallapalooza. That's another reason. That's
Speaker 1: why we haven't been selling the tickets we should have.
Speaker 1: Maybe I'm canceling playing at Lalla Palosa. That's so great everyone,
Speaker 1: Charlie x X link to love it. We're going to
Speaker 1: see I'm going to see a lot of people. There's
Speaker 1: a ton of people on the list. Muse Charlie x X,
Speaker 1: the x X, a lot of x lord xlord. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: Chicago that weekend, weekend, Sunday night and when how do okay?
Speaker 1: Go ahead? At the where will we be in Chago
Speaker 1: at the West Park West at the Park West? And
Speaker 1: then on Tuesday we will be Tuesday is it Tuesday
Speaker 1: or Wednesday that we will be in mine? We will
Speaker 1: be in Minneapolis, Minnesota. We got a lot of Minneapolis
Speaker 1: Movie Women's Club. That's really Yeah. My mom started, I
Speaker 1: was just the room. Is it cool? It's finally a
Speaker 1: good time. It feels like a good high school auditorium
Speaker 1: in a good way. Though. No, I don't know how
Speaker 1: I've been the ones that feel like that in a
Speaker 1: bad way. But this one's cool. The dressing rooms are cool,
Speaker 1: like cool. Really We really liked it and the people
Speaker 1: there were amazing. Yeah, and if I didn't like them,
Speaker 1: I would absolutely say it's so we have a lot
Speaker 1: of Minneapolis fans fucking go see them. Is there a
Speaker 1: place we could have been like any like, we do
Speaker 1: not have any listeners in that community. Yeah, Florida, Miami,
Speaker 1: we have Miami. I sold out, I almost well. I
Speaker 1: saw like it was like two hundred people that like,
Speaker 1: we wondered a glamor good don't have Spanish speaking state,
Speaker 1: But where were that we like Fort lauder Down, somewhere else,
Speaker 1: And it was like we were begging people. Florida is
Speaker 1: not really a comedy and it was in between Christmas.
Speaker 1: It's hard in Florida. From what we understand. We we
Speaker 1: wanted to go there, and our agents were like, I
Speaker 1: don't think you want to go to Florida. It's not
Speaker 1: a com We had a fantastic show there. It was
Speaker 1: really good and we sold I mean we sold about
Speaker 1: that and it was good. You know, they were awesome,
Speaker 1: you know, a couple hundred people and it got a
Speaker 1: standing ovation in Florida. Hey, we don't mention that, but
Speaker 1: yeah we did. Are you guys? Do you like ever
Speaker 1: like have after like a really good show, just like
Speaker 1: have sex and you're like, we're the we're the ship.
Speaker 1: We're just laughing straight through. Yeah we do. We don't
Speaker 1: think we ever have triumphs. You can't laugh from sex
Speaker 1: at all. Okay, that's comedy. Triumph sex is where I
Speaker 1: fun her. But I've got the Trump puppet on my Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then she prolapses her anus and she says to me,
Speaker 1: it's good. Where can we get tickets? Go to find Yeah,
Speaker 1: what's your Casher dot com or Natasha dot com. They're
Speaker 1: all available, and we would love to see people in
Speaker 1: Chicago or minneaples you compete, who buys more tickets off?
Speaker 1: Who's this website? You can't. You can't tell. We probably could.
Speaker 1: I have no idea. No, we don't do that. I know.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think one of the strengths of our
Speaker 1: relationship is the jealousy factor is pretty much zero. Nice
Speaker 1: that you agree, Oh, is it good? I mean hoping
Speaker 1: you were seating jealousy. I'm jealous of his ability to
Speaker 1: do crowd work. Well, yeah, but everybody in comedies. Jones
Speaker 1: so good at it. Thanks come see it live you guys.
Speaker 1: I actually I'm gonna see if I can come to
Speaker 1: the show on Sunday. That sounds amazing. Thank you so
Speaker 1: much for being on Guys Fucked the Anti Sluging Podcast.
Speaker 1: Will talk to you next Friday. I don't want to
Speaker 1: hear about your weekend. They I just want to see
Speaker 1: you and stay in your You see close to me
Speaker 1: and I'm moved down the bench is I can't in
Speaker 1: the moon? Made's right, but nothing can compare tonight free,
Speaker 1: So what the fuck am I gonna do? What the fun?
Speaker 1: And darling babe, won't you tell me a story? I'll
Speaker 1: close my eyes and I'll feak about something else. Lay
Speaker 1: a weary head on my masculine chest. I'll show you
Speaker 1: a world that's not pretty. Get interesting the night I can.
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