Speaker 1: Welcome to Stuff Mom Never Told You from House Supports
Speaker 1: dot Com. Hello, and welcome to the podcast. I'm Kristen
Speaker 1: and I'm Caroline. And Caroline. What a it has been.
Speaker 1: It's really been the fifteen eest of the fifteen. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, I think it's been kind of the biggest
Speaker 1: fifteen we've ever had. Yeah, I would say so. The
Speaker 1: most dramatic, the most hilarious, I know, the most heartwarming
Speaker 1: and heartbreak. It's really like a Hallmark Channel movie, all
Speaker 1: of the emotions, yeah, all smashed together in one glorious
Speaker 1: and sometimes awful year. Yeah. Yeah, it was definitely lots
Speaker 1: of both of those, glorious and heartbreaking and awful. And
Speaker 1: last year we did a Stuff Mom Never Told You
Speaker 1: Year in review because listeners, In case you didn't know,
Speaker 1: we put out a lot of podcasts. It turns out
Speaker 1: we do two a week. God, there's so many. So
Speaker 1: we really enjoy taking this time during the holiday season
Speaker 1: to look back at what we've talked about and sort
Speaker 1: of see where some of those topics are sitting today
Speaker 1: and things that have happened. And we also wanted to
Speaker 1: take some time to look outside the podcast that the
Speaker 1: big issues relevant to gender women and stuff. Mom never
Speaker 1: told you going on outside our studio and some of
Speaker 1: the women who shaped the year, Caroline and myself not included,
Speaker 1: of course. So Caroline, is it just me or does
Speaker 1: it feel like we talked about Taylor Swift five years ago?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I know, I can't believe that that
Speaker 1: was just a year ago. And it was we recorded
Speaker 1: it in our old studio space before we moved to
Speaker 1: a different office in Atlanta, So it's super feels like
Speaker 1: it was a long time ago. And Taylor Swift has
Speaker 1: not stopped making news. I mean, I've like I shouldn't
Speaker 1: have to tell people that, Like, of course you probably
Speaker 1: know that unless you live under a rock. But Taylor
Speaker 1: Swift has been pretty much consistently making headlines for better
Speaker 1: for worse since we talked about her a year ago. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's interesting to see how much patience or impatience
Speaker 1: are Facebook fan base has whenever we post something about
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift, because she's still a divisive figure for some people.
Speaker 1: Well yeah, and I mean she continued her fight against
Speaker 1: like Big Music, which is funny because she's part of
Speaker 1: Big Music. But she did fight back against Apple's newly
Speaker 1: released streaming service Apple Music. She pinned this open letter
Speaker 1: in June, slamming them for their decision not to pay
Speaker 1: artists during an initial three month free trial, which uh was,
Speaker 1: you know, supposed to get everybody on board, and that's
Speaker 1: great and that's wonderful. You can offer free music as
Speaker 1: a park to your customers. However, why should that come
Speaker 1: at the cost of not paying your artists? And Taylor
Speaker 1: Swift was saying, like, I didn't really expect it to
Speaker 1: go anywhere. And then it turns out that Apple was like, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: you're right, Slash, We're scared of you ladies, So they
Speaker 1: decided that they would pay artists. Yeah, I mean I
Speaker 1: feel like Taylor Swift really one. I mean she brought
Speaker 1: literally every celebrity you could ever think of up on
Speaker 1: stage for concert. That would be some people's argument for
Speaker 1: why she didn't win. What do tell kill? I know
Speaker 1: not everyone agrees on things, can you believe it? Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of talk of Taylor basically being the
Speaker 1: poster child for hashtag white feminism and for appropriating squad
Speaker 1: goals and things of that nature. How are you appropriate?
Speaker 1: How are squad goals something that you can appropriate? Well,
Speaker 1: a lot of people were saying that Taylor Swift tried
Speaker 1: to appropriate black cool and in what way? Though? I mean,
Speaker 1: I understand what the Shake It Off video that was
Speaker 1: kind of a blatant uh moment of appropriation. And then
Speaker 1: of course in the video that she shot that was
Speaker 1: had the very out of Africa the movie looked to
Speaker 1: it where it was like white Africa Safari and that
Speaker 1: was an issue. But in terms of appropriating, I feel
Speaker 1: like Taylor Swift as the bodiment of like White Girl.
Speaker 1: Though well, basically a lot of people, in a whole
Speaker 1: bunch of pop culture think pieces took issue with the
Speaker 1: fact that Taylor and her basically like social media promotional
Speaker 1: machine kept using squad to refer to all of the
Speaker 1: you know, gorgeous, whispy models that she was bringing on
Speaker 1: stage and going on trips with and taking pictures with
Speaker 1: on Instagram and all that stuff, when actually and treating
Speaker 1: it like she had invented it, when as when, as
Speaker 1: jenn Nickmayard over at The Guardian points out, this is
Speaker 1: something that had been used in rap and hip hop
Speaker 1: for a long time, and they were just throwing up
Speaker 1: their hands being like are you kidding? Like why are
Speaker 1: we attributing all of this pop culture stuff to Taylor
Speaker 1: Swift and saying that White was invented everything. So not
Speaker 1: everybody was a fan of chee Swizzle this year or
Speaker 1: any year. Tesel is never gonna win when everybody but
Speaker 1: there was um a Taylor Swift moment that relates to
Speaker 1: another interesting thing that happened outside the podcast studio in
Speaker 1: when she was on the cover of Maxim's first revamped
Speaker 1: issue where they kind of claimed to be going more feminist,
Speaker 1: and the issue, for instance, included a foreword by Roxanne
Speaker 1: Gay and they brought on a female editor who wanted
Speaker 1: to sort of change shift away from the cheesecake hyper
Speaker 1: objectifying of women angle that Maximus had for so long.
Speaker 1: And then, of course, on the heels of it, a
Speaker 1: number of months later, we have Playboy announcing that it's
Speaker 1: shuttering it's nude centerfolds. Um, because nudity is so blase, now, boobs,
Speaker 1: who I mean you? First of all, Internet porn is
Speaker 1: mostly free. You can see whatever you want with uh
Speaker 1: the internet, so it makes sense that playboys doing it.
Speaker 1: But I love these arguments that, like, there were a
Speaker 1: couple of things of oh, is Playboy going more feminist?
Speaker 1: And I don't know that the absence of naked centerfolds
Speaker 1: equals feminism. Thank you, thank you. Well, that's exactly what
Speaker 1: I was thinking when you talked about when you just
Speaker 1: mentioned maxim going like more feminist or like the perception
Speaker 1: of it going quote unquote more feminist. And it's like, guys, guys,
Speaker 1: just because women are involved with something doesn't make it
Speaker 1: necessarily feminist. It just means, like you were saying, like
Speaker 1: maybe there's not boobs in your face all the time,
Speaker 1: necessarily naked boobs. And also, I did find it funny
Speaker 1: to see a lot of reactions online to the Playboy
Speaker 1: announcement of people being like thanks a lot like feminist
Speaker 1: PC police, like you're just taking away all of our
Speaker 1: fun times. And it's like, well, you know, but you
Speaker 1: have like the whole internet, you know, this thing that's
Speaker 1: the Internet where you can see boots anytime you want. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, and these are business decisions too. I mean,
Speaker 1: people believing that the heads of these companies are so
Speaker 1: convicted by you know, Simone de Beauvoir that they're like, oh, well,
Speaker 1: we need to act this feature from our products is
Speaker 1: I mean, it's just kind of laughable and it was
Speaker 1: something that I was thinking of far more recently when
Speaker 1: the Pirelli calendar came out and went viral, and of
Speaker 1: course it contained all of these um talented and some
Speaker 1: self identified feminist women like Tobby Gibnson and Amy Schumer
Speaker 1: and you have fran Lebowitz and all of these um
Speaker 1: other women rather than going the sexy or hyper sexy
Speaker 1: route that Peirelli has traditionally gone and people, of course
Speaker 1: we're hailing it as a feminist thing, but in reading
Speaker 1: the New York Times style piece about it, they interviewed
Speaker 1: um uh woman in the industry who was basically like,
Speaker 1: I mean, feminism is so hot right now. Of course
Speaker 1: we're not going to go with these, you know, half
Speaker 1: naked women when that just doesn't look good for the brand.
Speaker 1: I mean, smart women are very on brand right now,
Speaker 1: which is great. I mean that's it's I'm not I'm
Speaker 1: not upset about that. But I think conflating all of
Speaker 1: this is a short sighted and waters down what feminism
Speaker 1: is all about. It goes back to our Our Hope
Speaker 1: Feminism episode where we talked about is that what we
Speaker 1: call it? What do we call it? It was the
Speaker 1: feminism in Fashion episode where we discussed people like Karl
Speaker 1: Lagerfeld and so many others sort of trading on this
Speaker 1: moment that, um, I don't want to say girl power
Speaker 1: and make you think of like the weak water down
Speaker 1: two thousands are us bice girls feminism, But like how
Speaker 1: woman power is having a moment and it's like cool
Speaker 1: to talk about negotiating a higher salary and everything. It's like,
Speaker 1: so let's trade on this and make money off of
Speaker 1: it and and use it as a way for us
Speaker 1: to get our brand and our name and our image
Speaker 1: into the popular conversation. And yes, do I think it's
Speaker 1: kind of gross? Yeah, but does it also have the
Speaker 1: upside of getting people talking about it? Like that's great?
Speaker 1: You know. I I pick up Glamour magazine or Marie
Speaker 1: Claire time and again and more and more. They're having
Speaker 1: all of these great not only women's centric feature articles,
Speaker 1: but powerful women's centric features. Even Cosmo, which it was
Speaker 1: my favorite magazine to rag on forever, Like I could
Speaker 1: not stand Cosmopolitan magazine. Even they are having like raw
Speaker 1: ra go women features in their magazine. Oh, they're doing
Speaker 1: so much incredible reporting these days. Seeing with l magazine,
Speaker 1: I mean, the it's great at the audience is there
Speaker 1: for it too, and women are age want it and
Speaker 1: they want smarter media, and yeah, we still want the
Speaker 1: beauty and style features as well, but the substance has
Speaker 1: to be there too, and I think that the looking forward,
Speaker 1: what will be interesting to see is how this female empowerment, feminism,
Speaker 1: however you want to call it, how that becomes more
Speaker 1: and more monetized and corporatized as it will be because
Speaker 1: these kinds of media images and advertisements obviously resonate with
Speaker 1: so many people and go viral and get so much
Speaker 1: brand attention. It'll be interesting to see how that whether
Speaker 1: that does have any real world impact on the actual
Speaker 1: issues involved with feminism and equality and even self esteem
Speaker 1: and body image. Well, hopefully it will at the very
Speaker 1: least normal lies conversations about this stuff, so that maybe
Speaker 1: a twelve year old girl reading Glamour will be able
Speaker 1: to grow up thinking like now I I can't ask
Speaker 1: for a higher salary, you know, like that that would
Speaker 1: be amazing instead of just growing up worried about what
Speaker 1: kind of lipstick or is it cream or or body
Speaker 1: type she should have? Well, and how do you think
Speaker 1: that it would impact boys perceptions of women? Because It's like,
Speaker 1: we are the audience for all of these empowering articles
Speaker 1: and inspirational always Naxipad commercials. But what is that teaching boys? Well,
Speaker 1: I don't I mean, I don't know what is it
Speaker 1: teaching boys? Is it? Is it showing them that like, oh,
Speaker 1: the girls are talking amongst themselves about feminism and self esteem?
Speaker 1: What I mean, I don't know, what do you think?
Speaker 1: I just wonder if it is, you know, I just
Speaker 1: I wonder how these these messages are are reaching boys
Speaker 1: as well, because there's obviously so much conversation happening among
Speaker 1: girls and women and guys need guys need those convosts too.
Speaker 1: Not to be all binary about it his and hers, Well, no, absolutely,
Speaker 1: I mean children in general would benefit from conversations about
Speaker 1: self esteem, consent, um, about the fact that all the
Speaker 1: people around you matter too, that this is not just
Speaker 1: a world that's built for you, it's built for all
Speaker 1: of us. Um. Would be great to teach kids empathy
Speaker 1: and compassion. Uh, those are things that can benefit everybody well.
Speaker 1: Speaking of advertising and media literacy, there is another company
Speaker 1: that's been having a bit of fun slash kind of
Speaker 1: a headache with their advertising, and that is period panti
Speaker 1: company thinks. Uh. They had some subway and taxi ads
Speaker 1: that were called too offensive because they featured just pictures
Speaker 1: of women paired with picture of grapefruits or pictures of eggs.
Speaker 1: And at first the transit authority was like, ah, I
Speaker 1: don't know, this is it's too suggestive. It could it's
Speaker 1: it's inappropriate. But there was such a backlash online that
Speaker 1: they ended up relenting and letting the ads be published
Speaker 1: on the subway. But the company that handles advertisements in taxis,
Speaker 1: uh taxi cabs video screens, they shot it down. They
Speaker 1: said it would be offensive to some of their writers.
Speaker 1: Oh man, this has been such a year for women's
Speaker 1: bodies being so offensive. We talked about free the nipple,
Speaker 1: we talked about period pride, I mean speaking of thanks
Speaker 1: and period panties, um, and it seems like ladies just
Speaker 1: aren't having it no more. Yeah, there does seem to
Speaker 1: be well, I don't know, maybe it's just me. There
Speaker 1: just seems to be this exhaustion with like why are
Speaker 1: you still so squeaked out about women's bodies? And I
Speaker 1: would argue that that trickles down even to our conversation
Speaker 1: about at leisure and how at leisure is clearly not
Speaker 1: dressing for a male gaze. And I don't know if
Speaker 1: you remember this night, Caroline, but a couple of months ago,
Speaker 1: there was a feature on a Fox News morning show
Speaker 1: where a panel of guys, including one of the Duck
Speaker 1: Dynasty dudes f y I, were sat down and a
Speaker 1: group of women in leggings were paraded in front of
Speaker 1: them for the guys to evaluate whether or not these
Speaker 1: women were appropriately dressed to be in public. And what
Speaker 1: a train wreck it was? Astonishing. Yeah, I found myself
Speaker 1: like watching with my hands on either side of my face,
Speaker 1: very home alone, asked like this, this can't be happening.
Speaker 1: It's and there is a news broadcaster that thinks it's
Speaker 1: good news or good broadcasting practice to parade young, conventionally
Speaker 1: attractive women in running gear essentially or yoga gear in
Speaker 1: front of these men whose opinions don't matter. Are you okay?
Speaker 1: Are you parading them around in front of like Michael
Speaker 1: Cores for his fashion advice? Are you parading them around
Speaker 1: in front of a personal trainer to give them fitness advice?
Speaker 1: I could almost see those things, especially if the women
Speaker 1: themselves were like I need fashion advice or I need
Speaker 1: advice about to go on a job interview? Is appropriate outfit?
Speaker 1: Help me please? But to parade them around in front
Speaker 1: of like Rando's, including the Duck Dynasty guy, was horrifying
Speaker 1: because they were like, oh my god, I can see
Speaker 1: your whole leg or whatever. Well, I'm getting very for climped,
Speaker 1: very for climped. Yes, I mean, because it was essentially
Speaker 1: it was a contest to see, like how fast can
Speaker 1: we sexualize these women. You know, let's let's look at
Speaker 1: let's look straight their vice. Let's really break this down.
Speaker 1: And I mean that that relates to as far as
Speaker 1: younger girls, to all the conversations around dress codes. Oh,
Speaker 1: I mean, I love how tweet indeed, age girls also
Speaker 1: are not having it in terms of those double standards.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's hilarious. It's not hilarious, but it's
Speaker 1: crazy to me. And it's fascinating to watch how these
Speaker 1: like sixteen year old girls are finding their voices to
Speaker 1: protest sexist dress codes. I mean, do you go to
Speaker 1: school that has a dress code? Okay, cool, a lot
Speaker 1: of us did, or do um Having a dress code
Speaker 1: in of itself is not a bad thing, however, so
Speaker 1: many young girls are finding their voice in order to
Speaker 1: be like, listen, you can't say that I need to
Speaker 1: be kicked out or suspended or be sent to the
Speaker 1: principle because I have shorts on or a bit of
Speaker 1: a bra strap showing and use the excuse that it's
Speaker 1: going to be distracting to boys, because that's fair. That
Speaker 1: is fair to no one. And it was so great
Speaker 1: to see how the letters and petitions that these girls
Speaker 1: were writing, we're just catching fire on the internet well,
Speaker 1: and we can see similar impatience to happening within certain
Speaker 1: professional fields and women. I mean, the conversations around women
Speaker 1: and stem jobs science, technology, engineering, and math had a
Speaker 1: number of viral moments where you had the hashtag distract
Speaker 1: distracting lee sexy scientists and also this is what an
Speaker 1: engineer looks like. I mean, there were just a lot
Speaker 1: of moments of really great and humorous visibility of women
Speaker 1: in those fields saying, hey, we exist, this is what
Speaker 1: I look like, this is what I'm doing, these are
Speaker 1: the places that I'm working in, the cool instruments that
Speaker 1: I'm using. And this year, throughout the podcast, we had
Speaker 1: a lot of great episodes looking at typically male dominated
Speaker 1: professions and sort of charting the history of that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I loved There was this Wired article I read
Speaker 1: I guess there's a couple of weeks back now that
Speaker 1: sort of looked at the whole women in science thing,
Speaker 1: but also discrimination against women in science and also how
Speaker 1: they were finally fighting back all over. And it listed
Speaker 1: a bunch of examples, not all of which we talked
Speaker 1: about on the podcast. Yes, there was the distractingly Sexy,
Speaker 1: which came about when Nobel laureate Tim Hunt, who I
Speaker 1: specified no about laureate because that's my way of saying
Speaker 1: should know better, uh, said that scientists and labs were
Speaker 1: distracting and he ended up losing his honorary professorship. But
Speaker 1: lest you think it stopped there, we also had the
Speaker 1: Rosetta Space probe scientists who wore that awful shirt that
Speaker 1: was covered in pictures of scantily clad women. He caught
Speaker 1: a lot of flak. A lot of men on the
Speaker 1: internet did not understand why that man should be criticized,
Speaker 1: but the guy ended up ti rely apologizing. You also
Speaker 1: had it was not a great year for dudes talking
Speaker 1: about ladies and astronomy. Famous Berkeley astronomer Exo Planet hunter
Speaker 1: Jeff Marcy has allegedly been sexually harassing students for years.
Speaker 1: He ended up resigning in disgrace this year. And one
Speaker 1: of the last points in this article about basically like
Speaker 1: how things are kind of awful in science for women
Speaker 1: in terms of harassment and discrimination, but how women are
Speaker 1: basically talking back. Finally, virologist Alice Hwang, who's an advice
Speaker 1: columnist for a career site run by the Journal Science,
Speaker 1: was she's writing an advice column, right, and her answer
Speaker 1: for a woman who was like, what do I do
Speaker 1: with my advisor staring down my shirt all the time?
Speaker 1: Her answer is just like, to put up with it.
Speaker 1: She's no longer writing that advice column. But the point
Speaker 1: being with so many of these things is like you've
Speaker 1: always had women being discriminated against in the sciences, You've
Speaker 1: always had women facing sexual harassment issues, but now there's
Speaker 1: finally stuff like hashtag girls with toys, hashtag distractingly sexy
Speaker 1: things that are finally drawing attention to the fact that, like,
Speaker 1: you can't talk to us like this anymore. Come on, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, And for podcast listeners who might want to
Speaker 1: learn more and also hear about women who have been
Speaker 1: paving the way for us today. We did two part
Speaker 1: at the beginning of the year on astronomy, which was
Speaker 1: so fascinating our stargazers too. Part was such an education
Speaker 1: for me. To be honest, I did not know all
Speaker 1: that much about astronomy history. We talked about Margaret Mead
Speaker 1: and anthropology, um, the contrast between architecture and interior design
Speaker 1: and the gendering of those two professions were some really
Speaker 1: fascinating conversations that we had as well. Also, women in
Speaker 1: construction talk about sexual harassment on the job site. Yeah.
Speaker 1: We also talked to Nia McLaughlin about what it's like
Speaker 1: being a lady carpenter carpent tricks. Carpent tricks. Yeah, that's her,
Speaker 1: her tumbler carpent tricks. Yeah. Yeah, we She was one
Speaker 1: of any fascinating people we had on the podcast this year.
Speaker 1: We also talked to egyptologist Kara Cooney about hat cheps
Speaker 1: It in our episode The Woman Pharaoh. She was a
Speaker 1: fascinating interview and we got a lot of good response
Speaker 1: to that. I was super pleased that people loved it
Speaker 1: as much as we did. Yeah, who else we need
Speaker 1: to shout out to uh for coming on the show
Speaker 1: this year, Caroline. We also had Let's See In the
Speaker 1: Single by Choice episode, I talked to sociologist Kinder at
Speaker 1: lahad Uh. She's basically dedicated all of her research to
Speaker 1: looking at the attitudes towards single women, particularly UH single
Speaker 1: women in what are called pro natal society. So like
Speaker 1: the US is definitely a pro natal society, like get married,
Speaker 1: have kids, but Israel is even more so, and she
Speaker 1: lives in Israel. And that was a big one that
Speaker 1: we got a lot of listener response froms well, a
Speaker 1: lot of people being like, thank you for at least
Speaker 1: addressing that, like maybe marriage isn't the end. I'll be
Speaker 1: all for everybody. We also talked to producer Sylvia Massey.
Speaker 1: That was a fascinating in her review. She's worked with
Speaker 1: a lot of big names in music, Let's see Kristin Ebling.
Speaker 1: We chatted with her for our skate like a Girl Too. Parter. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that was a good one and we had so many
Speaker 1: podcast guests on. We talked to the host of Black
Speaker 1: Girls talking of Throwing Shade Chicks who script Hilary Frank
Speaker 1: of the Longest Shortest Time. That was a really fun
Speaker 1: summer series and we just talked to Kevin and Demi
Speaker 1: from The Gilmore Guys. I know, oh Man Gilmore Girls
Speaker 1: one of our most hotly anticipated episodes. Those guys were
Speaker 1: a delight. And the Gilmore Guys collectively are the second
Speaker 1: ever dudes on the podcast. Yeah, I think the first
Speaker 1: was Jonathan a couple of years ago, right, jand of
Speaker 1: Text Stuff. Yeah. And we also have to give a
Speaker 1: shout out to our co workers Holly and Raquel. Holly
Speaker 1: from History Stuff and Riquel who's a producer here at
Speaker 1: How Stuff Works. Uh and a publisher I mean uh.
Speaker 1: And of course Emily Hunt and Brooke Aaron Duffy. They
Speaker 1: were on our Fashion Blogger episode two. Yeah, lots of
Speaker 1: great feedback on that one. We have some Ashton Bloggos
Speaker 1: and our audience who were definitely uh nodding their heads
Speaker 1: in agreement about all of the invisible work that goes
Speaker 1: behind that effortless perfection that you see all of our
Speaker 1: instagram Absolutely. Well, did you have I mean, we covered
Speaker 1: so much this year, Kristen, did you have any episodes
Speaker 1: that you were most excited to research or prepare for. Well,
Speaker 1: I don't know that I would call it excitement necessarily,
Speaker 1: but the anxiety episode was one that I definitely anticipated
Speaker 1: learning more about because, as we talked about in great
Speaker 1: detail in that episode, um, that was a personal subject.
Speaker 1: So it was it was an opportunity to really dive
Speaker 1: into my own issues, and it resonated so much with
Speaker 1: our audience. I mean, it's it came out, you know,
Speaker 1: not that long ago, and we still get We're still
Speaker 1: getting letters, you know, every week from from folks saying like,
Speaker 1: this is what happens with me, Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: We're talking about it. Um. So it was a really
Speaker 1: I don't know, it was educational, but it's also been
Speaker 1: kind of a bonding experience. Yeah, it for sure has.
Speaker 1: It's really it's really struck me the letters we've been
Speaker 1: getting in response to both the anxiety and the perfectionism
Speaker 1: episodes that people are like. I just didn't anticipate so
Speaker 1: many people saying thank you for helping me feel like
Speaker 1: I'm not alone and that I'm normal in my weirdness.
Speaker 1: I'm normal just like you are. So I was also
Speaker 1: really excited to look into anxiety and perfectionism, but also
Speaker 1: borderline personality disorder, which is not my own personal struggle.
Speaker 1: But I was just so curious about it, because that's
Speaker 1: another one of those health conditions that I feel like
Speaker 1: people just tend to throw around or dismiss and just
Speaker 1: call people crazy. So I was really looking forward to
Speaker 1: sort of busting some myths and stereotypes about that one
Speaker 1: pop culturally. Um. An early episode from that was so
Speaker 1: much fun, so fun. In fact, we made it a
Speaker 1: two parter. I was women in Comics. Oh yeah, yeah again.
Speaker 1: I forgot that we did that this year and it
Speaker 1: was a two parter. I know what it feels so
Speaker 1: long ago. I know it was so long ago. But
Speaker 1: that was another one where our fan base was really
Speaker 1: excited about that. Well, everybody had so many great recommendations
Speaker 1: to which I was so excited about because I don't
Speaker 1: necessarily know the first thing about how to recommend comics
Speaker 1: to anyone, but that's where our listeners stepped in and
Speaker 1: had a great bunch of ideas. Yeah, and we have
Speaker 1: a list of fifty uh comics by women over at
Speaker 1: stuff I've never told you dot com that you can
Speaker 1: check out if you are interested. Another big conversation that
Speaker 1: struck a chord with our audience as well was maternity leave,
Speaker 1: baby weight. All the scrutinizing of pregnant women's bodies in
Speaker 1: the United States. Yeah, and we talked a lot about
Speaker 1: Princess Kate and also Kim Kardashian. And those are two
Speaker 1: women who just had their each of them just had
Speaker 1: their second child. So they are back in the news
Speaker 1: cycle in terms of babyweight and bodies and oh when
Speaker 1: are they going to fit back into their clothes? Was
Speaker 1: and I just find myself shaking my head, like, come
Speaker 1: on us weekly, here we go again, There we go again, Caroline.
Speaker 1: Three women that we did not talk about on the
Speaker 1: podcast this year that I would argue shaped at least
Speaker 1: in the United States more than anyone else, and they
Speaker 1: should have been the Trio co like Time Women of
Speaker 1: the Year No Offense. Angela Merkel, Alicia Garza opal To
Speaker 1: Mattie and Patrice Colors started Black Lives Matter, And I mean,
Speaker 1: I just I cannot think of any woman or women
Speaker 1: who did more to start just like important conversations in
Speaker 1: the United States. Well, the fact that they started it
Speaker 1: two years ago and that the the conversation has only
Speaker 1: picked up steam and that it is I mean, they
Speaker 1: are three black women who started this to draw attention
Speaker 1: to the killing of Trayvon Martin and how now their
Speaker 1: movement has become like a true feet on the ground,
Speaker 1: marching for rights movement out in the streets. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean it's like the civil rights movement of our time.
Speaker 1: Well yeah, but I mean not and I really do
Speaker 1: not mean this in a dismissive way, but it's like
Speaker 1: the millennials version of the civil rights movement in terms
Speaker 1: of they're not being necessarily a huge, top down structure,
Speaker 1: but it's more about just amplifying voices through social media,
Speaker 1: getting the word out about whether it's protests or injustice
Speaker 1: happening in this country. It's been an incredible unifying movement
Speaker 1: to watch happen in this country. Well, and it's not
Speaker 1: only of course, opened up so many conversations about race
Speaker 1: in the United States, but also about gender within the
Speaker 1: black community too. I mean, it's very notable that these
Speaker 1: are women who started this movement because civil rights was
Speaker 1: not that the movement itself and its leadership structure wasn't
Speaker 1: always the friendlies and most open toward women. I mean,
Speaker 1: of course you have women like uh Daisy Bates and
Speaker 1: other organizers doing things, but the overall structure was um
Speaker 1: sometimes lady exclusive. Yeah. Yeah, I also wanted to mention.
Speaker 1: Another name that jumped out to me this year was
Speaker 1: Maria Geiss, who basically led the charge for women directors
Speaker 1: in Hollywood. UM. I had read in October about how
Speaker 1: the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission had started interviewing all of
Speaker 1: these lady directors in order to see what type of action,
Speaker 1: if any, they should take to combat discrimination against female
Speaker 1: film and TV directors. I didn't really know what was
Speaker 1: behind it, and so I read this great article over
Speaker 1: at the Hollywood Reporter about Maria Guys, who had effectively
Speaker 1: been locked out of directing after ninety nine five UM,
Speaker 1: and her reasoning behind it. She said, there were many triggers,
Speaker 1: but the strongest was my realization that the virtual absence
Speaker 1: of women directors in Hollywood was tantamount to the censoring
Speaker 1: and silencing of female voices in US media, America's most
Speaker 1: global export. And so she's essentially rallied a lot of
Speaker 1: people to her cause to the point where now the
Speaker 1: e o C is investigating. But this comes after the
Speaker 1: Director's Guild of America president told her like, basically, can
Speaker 1: you just sit down. I mean, women will get more
Speaker 1: of a voice once minority men start to see more
Speaker 1: of a voice as directors in Hollywood. It'll happen for
Speaker 1: women to just just chill out. Oh wait our turn, Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: so just wait your turn. And she's somebody and uh,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm sipping my hand, but I would love
Speaker 1: to see if we could get her on the podcast in.
Speaker 1: I mean, she has a lot of fascinating perspectives and
Speaker 1: and the whole thing though about silencing and providing perspective
Speaker 1: is something that we've all so heard from other female
Speaker 1: directors and screenwriters, people like Ava du Verney, who has
Speaker 1: been a huge voice in Hollywood this year for not
Speaker 1: only black women's representation behind the camera, but just diversifying perspectives.
Speaker 1: I mean, that woman got her own Barbie doll, I know,
Speaker 1: and the Barbie doll is sold out in like seventeen seconds.
Speaker 1: It was originally going to be just a special edition,
Speaker 1: and then response was so massive across the internet. Mattel
Speaker 1: was like, okay, well, well just you know, of course,
Speaker 1: we want to sell more dolls. So they made it
Speaker 1: into a regular run of a Barbie doll and sold out,
Speaker 1: which is so notable too, because if you know much
Speaker 1: about the history of dolls in the United States, they
Speaker 1: have mostly been white. If you know anything about barbies,
Speaker 1: you know so um that that she was a black
Speaker 1: barbie who also has braids. I mean, there was people
Speaker 1: were very excited that this was happening. Mean, even even
Speaker 1: the doll, um, even the doll was excited. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean even the doll was a milestone in our culture. Yes,
Speaker 1: absolutely as well it should be and I really want one.
Speaker 1: I mean, now that I have Amy and Tina action figures,
Speaker 1: I think the Eva Diverney barbie is my next purchase.
Speaker 1: They need a friend, they need a friend who can
Speaker 1: direct them. Well. Another artist slash student who also started
Speaker 1: a huge conversation and controversy along with that was Emma
Speaker 1: Sulkowitz who's carry that Weight performance piece where she carried
Speaker 1: her mattress around Columbia University in protest of the university
Speaker 1: not kicking out uh, the guy that she alleged sexually
Speaker 1: assaulted her. I mean, I feel like that was kind
Speaker 1: of a visualization of this massive conversation and movement and
Speaker 1: even White House initiative that really picked up steam in
Speaker 1: around the issue of campus sexual assault. And we'll see
Speaker 1: what happens. There was a recent report that pointed out
Speaker 1: that legislators and at least twenty states this year introduced
Speaker 1: bills to change how college administrators prevent and address sexual
Speaker 1: violence on campus. That's not that's only a little over
Speaker 1: half of our states. So we'll see how that progresses
Speaker 1: in well. And I want to know to how the
Speaker 1: California Bill of the Act of Consent Law that Jerry
Speaker 1: Brown signed into law, how that has an impact as
Speaker 1: well too, because that was a landmark piece of legislation,
Speaker 1: basically saying no, this is what consent is, this is
Speaker 1: what yes means. Yes you have to um. It added
Speaker 1: much needed nuance to what consent means in legal forms
Speaker 1: as well. And then because of the stuff I've never
Speaker 1: told you, can we close out our year in review
Speaker 1: on a period shout out? Okay, So Kieran Gandhi I
Speaker 1: think was the face or or the men's fees of
Speaker 1: a period pride in her marathon run sands tampon or
Speaker 1: pad went viral and started a whole conversation about women's bodies,
Speaker 1: free blading, free bleeding. Yeah, I got it started some
Speaker 1: you know men's rights trolls, uh a hashtag in and
Speaker 1: I just thought it was fantastic yeah, I thought it
Speaker 1: was fantastic too, because it's just another woman saying like,
Speaker 1: our bodies are not gross, are are bodily functions are
Speaker 1: not disgusting? This is part of uh, this is just
Speaker 1: part of my biology, So deal with it well. And
Speaker 1: of course we've got to give a shout out to
Speaker 1: our listeners. We have such fantastic and engage listeners, and
Speaker 1: Caroline and I care about you all so deeply, and
Speaker 1: we wanted to share some of the messages that you
Speaker 1: all have been sending us about a variety of episodes,
Speaker 1: because I mean, it's just so fun to hear the
Speaker 1: diversity of experiences and opinions that you all always have
Speaker 1: and share with us about all of the random topics
Speaker 1: that we end up talking about on stuff I've never
Speaker 1: told you. So let's share a few before we say
Speaker 1: au revoir to at least part one of this year interview,
Speaker 1: because spoiler alert, we do have a part two and
Speaker 1: we're going to talk about even more women that we
Speaker 1: didn't talk about in this episode, so you gotta stay
Speaker 1: tuned for that. But in the meantime, let's hear from
Speaker 1: some listeners. I have a note here from Emma. She says,
Speaker 1: I got introduced to your show from my best friend
Speaker 1: to Leaky. She's finished and I am Swedish and we
Speaker 1: both live in Norway. When I listened to your Free
Speaker 1: the Nipple podcast, you kept saying normalizing the female body,
Speaker 1: and it really made me realize how important that is.
Speaker 1: I grew up in a culture where the sauna is
Speaker 1: a regular family and friends activity. Here in Scandinavia, it's naked.
Speaker 1: None of this Bayther's non Since I keep encountering elsewhere,
Speaker 1: I never knew how much this exposure to being naked
Speaker 1: in a non sexual way has shaped me and my thoughts.
Speaker 1: I saw my mom breastfeed in public, saw all my
Speaker 1: female relatives naked, and my closest mail ones too. It
Speaker 1: was never anything but normal. It gives you a view
Speaker 1: of normal bodies, different ages, different shapes, and more acceptance.
Speaker 1: Being naked shouldn't be a state of shame. We're all
Speaker 1: naked under our clothes. I planned to expose my kids
Speaker 1: to the same, given I can convince my French partner
Speaker 1: to be more Scandinavian. I love your show. I hear
Speaker 1: views and thoughts and issues that I haven't been exposed
Speaker 1: to here in Scandinavia. And plenty that we have in common.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Emma Well. One episode that we heard a
Speaker 1: lot from listeners about as well was our Girls who
Speaker 1: Lift podcasts on women and weightlifting, and Emily wrote us
Speaker 1: on Facebook to say, I was really excited to hear
Speaker 1: your episodes on Ronda Rousey and weightlifting in general. I
Speaker 1: actually listened to the Ladder while deadlifting. I started lifting
Speaker 1: about two years ago, and reading a searching I heard
Speaker 1: a lot about how for many women it's hard to
Speaker 1: step into the weight room and take up space in
Speaker 1: a male dominated environment. I count myself fortunate for the
Speaker 1: experiences I've had previously as a preteen at a camp
Speaker 1: surrounded by guys, as well as through hiking the Appalachian Trail.
Speaker 1: Both of these experiences made it way easier for me
Speaker 1: to get into the weight room without regard for it
Speaker 1: being a male dominated space. And she goes on to say,
Speaker 1: I love the way my body looks when lifting regularly.
Speaker 1: In addition, as a person with an eating disorder, lifting
Speaker 1: has really helped me recover and reconnect with a positive
Speaker 1: body image. Being able to deadlift my own body weight
Speaker 1: really helps give me a sense of power and control
Speaker 1: that I was struggling with in my eating disorder. Anyway,
Speaker 1: thanks for doing the episode on weightlifting, especially on the
Speaker 1: history of women lifting, and thanks for the great podcast.
Speaker 1: Well if we're gonna keep going because I love our listeners.
Speaker 1: I have a letter here from Katie. She says, I'm
Speaker 1: a freshman in high school. I've lived in the same
Speaker 1: small town in Tech. This my whole life. It's pretty
Speaker 1: stereotypical and the conservative Christian. It's heritage, not hate. Way.
Speaker 1: Not to say I don't love it. Our football boys
Speaker 1: made State and I couldn't be prouder, but I digress.
Speaker 1: I'm so thankful for your show. I have had almost
Speaker 1: no opportunities to learn from unbiased sources about controversial topics.
Speaker 1: Everything I've been taught on that subject has been quite slanted.
Speaker 1: In our sex ed class, the girls were told that
Speaker 1: every time we have sex will get STDs, that abortion
Speaker 1: would most likely kill us, and shame the man involved
Speaker 1: for his whole life. I have been told I can't
Speaker 1: play football or baseball, and often get babied in my
Speaker 1: agg class when we work in the shop, all because
Speaker 1: I'm a girl, even though I am the go to
Speaker 1: when somebody needs help. I feel bad for complaining to y'all,
Speaker 1: but I want to let you both know that you've
Speaker 1: changed my look on life. Listening to the show introduced
Speaker 1: me to a different way of treating people. Your show
Speaker 1: makes me feel a little less alone that I'm not
Speaker 1: the only person who believes that sexuality, color, and gender
Speaker 1: have no effect on the rights a person should get.
Speaker 1: I have found out how I want to live my life,
Speaker 1: and y'all were a big part of that process. I
Speaker 1: can't thank you enough. Feel free to write back. Well, Katie,
Speaker 1: we're not writing back, but we are reading your letter
Speaker 1: on the air, and thank you so much for your
Speaker 1: kind words. Well, I've got a letter here from Katie
Speaker 1: that I did share on our social media, but I'm
Speaker 1: going to share it again because it was one of
Speaker 1: my favorites of the year. She wrote, I just want
Speaker 1: to thank you guys for all the podcast you do.
Speaker 1: I decided to look back to where I started listening
Speaker 1: in the earliest state is November two, two thousand nine,
Speaker 1: which was on why women have more migraines than men.
Speaker 1: So if I started listening in February of oh nine,
Speaker 1: I've been listening from the age of eleven. I've listened
Speaker 1: to most of your podcasts, and they've given me a
Speaker 1: lot of knowledge I wouldn't have had otherwise. Your podcast
Speaker 1: also helped shape me into the strong feminist I am
Speaker 1: today at seventeen. Tumbler has helped with that a lot
Speaker 1: in more recent years, but your podcast kicked it all off.
Speaker 1: So thank you so much for all of your effort
Speaker 1: with the podcast and videos each week. They're truly enjoyable. Okatie,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for growing up with us. Love
Speaker 1: it well. I have a letter here from Roxanne our
Speaker 1: episode on adult acne in which Kristen I basically just
Speaker 1: complained and looked for solutions about our own acne for
Speaker 1: forty five minutes. Uh. That episode really resonated with listener Roxanne.
Speaker 1: She says, I discovered this s Minty podcast a couple
Speaker 1: of months ago. When I love the show, I don't
Speaker 1: like a lot of podcast print is my native habitat,
Speaker 1: and I have a hard time concentrating on audio only information.
Speaker 1: But you both keep the show engaging and fascinating. So
Speaker 1: Roxon says. When I started grad school last year at
Speaker 1: twenty nine, I began experiencing breakouts at an astonishing rate.
Speaker 1: I don't think of myself as a vain person. I
Speaker 1: really wear makeup, but I was mortified through adolescence. I
Speaker 1: never had a problem. I would have to do something
Speaker 1: actively horrible to my skin to get a breakout, like
Speaker 1: not washing it for six days, and even then I
Speaker 1: get maybe a pimple. You're both at really right, though
Speaker 1: no one tells us about this. At first, I tried
Speaker 1: treating it like with traditional acne products, only to have
Speaker 1: it get much, much worse. That was when I finally
Speaker 1: looked up you know, actual medical information and learned how
Speaker 1: different the two types of acne are, and one source
Speaker 1: even likened late onset acne to rosasia. I can't recall
Speaker 1: if they said the two conditions are related or comorbid,
Speaker 1: but both are worse than if by overly harsh drying
Speaker 1: or a brace of treatment regimens. I still don't have
Speaker 1: mind completely under control, but it's improved with gentler treatment.
Speaker 1: And here's a big factor. Sunscreen. While sunlight can help
Speaker 1: teen acne, it can make adult acne and rosasha worse.
Speaker 1: I use a zinc based physical sunscreen that never seems
Speaker 1: to trigger breakout no matter how often I reapply. My
Speaker 1: biggest triggering factor seems to be stressed well, I do
Speaker 1: notice a fluctuation and frequency along my cycle. For the
Speaker 1: most part, I'll only have a problem with whiteheads until
Speaker 1: I experienced a major stress anxiety episode, and within a
Speaker 1: day or two I'll have two to three big gangry
Speaker 1: sistic pimples. It's a great time to be in grad school.
Speaker 1: I'm sure I'll never get a handle on it fully
Speaker 1: until I learned to manage my stress better. But I'm
Speaker 1: hoping one day I can go back to not constantly
Speaker 1: wondering what people are thinking when they look at my face.
Speaker 1: I love the show, Love your Topics, Take Care and
Speaker 1: you take care to Roxane. And finally, I've got a
Speaker 1: letter here from Ellie, and she writes, I wanted to
Speaker 1: say thank you for your piece on significant others, and
Speaker 1: more specifically for raising the issue of what to call
Speaker 1: your significant other who identifies as non binary or gender queer.
Speaker 1: I go to a small liberal arts college where almost
Speaker 1: half of my immediate friend group identifies as gender queer
Speaker 1: or non binary and uses the gender neutral pronouns they them.
Speaker 1: And there's so needless to say this issue has come
Speaker 1: up for some of us. Most people I know who
Speaker 1: have non binary significant others just refer to them as
Speaker 1: their ESSO short for you guessed it significant other, but
Speaker 1: it varies from person to person. For instance, I went
Speaker 1: from identifying as a CIS woman to a non binary
Speaker 1: in the middle of my last relation and ship, so
Speaker 1: I had no problem with my girlfriend continuing to refer
Speaker 1: to me as her girlfriend since that was what we
Speaker 1: were both used to. However, now I'm feeling more comfortable
Speaker 1: in my identity, I don't think I would want to
Speaker 1: date someone who called me their girlfriend anymore. That no
Speaker 1: longer aligns with my identity, and I would probably ask
Speaker 1: them to call me their s oh. I know s
Speaker 1: O seems like it would sound awkward in everyday conversation,
Speaker 1: but it really isn't at all. Also, the issue of
Speaker 1: gendered language comes up in space as other than romantic ones.
Speaker 1: I played for the women's soccer team at my school,
Speaker 1: and my teammates have had to adjust away from saying
Speaker 1: things like what's up girl and hey pretty lady to me.
Speaker 1: To rectify this, I joke around with my teammates that
Speaker 1: I'm actually a gender blob and instead of saying what's up, girl,
Speaker 1: they can say what's up, blob. It's silly and lighthearted,
Speaker 1: but I choose to joke about it because there really
Speaker 1: is no gender neutral option for a lot of the
Speaker 1: manners in which we speak to each other. I just
Speaker 1: wanted to give you my two cents as someone who
Speaker 1: has had to think about this quite a bit recent.
Speaker 1: On a different note, blah blah blah, I think you
Speaker 1: too are absolutely brilliant blah blah blah. I'm in love
Speaker 1: with you blah blah blah. I love the podcast whatever.
Speaker 1: So thank you so much, Ellie, and thanks to everybody
Speaker 1: who's written in to us this year, and we'd love
Speaker 1: to hear your favorite stuff mom Never Told You moments
Speaker 1: from if you'd be willing to share mom stuff at
Speaker 1: how stuff works dot com is our email address, and
Speaker 1: for links to all of our podcast, videos, social media
Speaker 1: and blog, head on over to stuff Mom Never Told
Speaker 1: You dot com and Happy Holidays for moral this and
Speaker 1: thousands of other topics. Is it how stuff works dot
Speaker 1: com