Speaker 1: Welcome to Guys We Fucked. Guys We Guys Book. I'm Christina,
Speaker 1: I'm Correnn. We're sorry about last night, the anti slut
Speaker 1: shaming podcast. I never stopped. Hello fuckers, and welcome to
Speaker 1: another episode of Guys We Fucked. It's the anti slut
Speaker 1: shaming podcast. I'm Corinne, I'm Christina, and we are authors
Speaker 1: of a published book. Holy fucking shit. It's not published
Speaker 1: while we were the second that we are in recording this,
Speaker 1: but by the time this comes out, we will have
Speaker 1: been published authors of a book called Fucked. Being sexually
Speaker 1: explorative and self confident in a a world that's screwed. Check
Speaker 1: it out Barnes and Noble Feature table. So get every
Speaker 1: so good fifth grade teacher said nothing, I did have one. Really,
Speaker 1: she's very mean. Yeah, she's my math teacher. Um, But
Speaker 1: you know what, if I was still out about it,
Speaker 1: I'd go talk to a therapist on talk Space. Today's
Speaker 1: show is sponsored by talk Space, the online therapy company.
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Speaker 1: my boyfriend Stephen uh speaks to his talk Space therapist
Speaker 1: once a week and he fucking loves it. And that
Speaker 1: guy hates a lot of things and he's very snobby
Speaker 1: and he really really loves talk Space and that to
Speaker 1: me is like, that's soul best endorsement average honestly. Yeah,
Speaker 1: come see us live um tomorrow. Are you in Phoenix, Arizona,
Speaker 1: Because holy fucking ship, do you want to see the
Speaker 1: most amazing live recording of Guys We Sucked in the
Speaker 1: entire universe. You should go. It's We're gonna be on
Speaker 1: the All Things Comedy Festival at Stand Up Live tomorrow
Speaker 1: nine pm. We're doing a live recording of Guys We
Speaker 1: Fucked You. If it's not sold out already, it's probably
Speaker 1: not because on the Wine alone's buying tickets, but you should.
Speaker 1: We were not going to say the name of the
Speaker 1: guests we have, but holy ship, we've been wanting to
Speaker 1: interview this person. I feel like beginning time, like we
Speaker 1: might be more impressed than they are. Well, I don't
Speaker 1: want to build it up too much. Well, just come,
Speaker 1: it's gonna be fun. It's gonna be it's no matter
Speaker 1: what you think. It's a fucking legend. It's a fucking
Speaker 1: legendary person. Um Okay. So then November two, Vermont, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be headlining the Vermont Comedy Club. Tickets are fifteen dollars.
Speaker 1: I have to do is go to the website. That's it.
Speaker 1: Just get tickets. New York City, Thursday, November nine, we
Speaker 1: are retiring our guys. We fucked the experience show. We're
Speaker 1: gonna be performing at one last time in New York
Speaker 1: City where we live, at one of the biggest venues.
Speaker 1: It is the biggest venue we've ever done in York City,
Speaker 1: rebeca performing arts center on November nine. You're gonna want
Speaker 1: to fly in for that, so do it. Los Angeles,
Speaker 1: California on Sunday, November nine, eight thirty pm. We're going
Speaker 1: to be at the Comedy Store in the main room
Speaker 1: celebrating with a special show that is our book mitzvah,
Speaker 1: the special surprise guests that probably that you've heard on
Speaker 1: the podcast. Uh, we'll read some ship from our book,
Speaker 1: we'll give you some advice, we'll do stand up. It'll
Speaker 1: be a grand old time. You're not gonna want to
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Speaker 1: joined the movement and it's a really cool company because
Speaker 1: like us, they started from the groundtop launched. They launched
Speaker 1: a very small company and they made it a big company,
Speaker 1: kind of like we started this little dream of a
Speaker 1: podcast and then then we were pouncing bitches on the
Speaker 1: podcast Okay, I like, I buy a lot of things
Speaker 1: that I hear advertise a podcast, honestly, Square Space. I
Speaker 1: have a square like I bought because it does stuff
Speaker 1: and it makes a lot of sense though that companies
Speaker 1: can say, hey, I can give these good products and
Speaker 1: it's not gonna be expensive because I don't have to hire,
Speaker 1: Like it's not a retail store that a lot of money.
Speaker 1: I find podcasts they advertise a lot of like more
Speaker 1: innovative product, like whatever the new thing is, like the
Speaker 1: new thing that everyone was going to get into that
Speaker 1: I'm gonna see Instagram ads for. I always hear about
Speaker 1: it on you know, the ten podcasts I've listened to
Speaker 1: in my life. Okay, so you guys, we've just housekeeping, uh,
Speaker 1: and we're gonna I'm gonna do something that you know
Speaker 1: isn't my best skill, read out loud, um, but we
Speaker 1: wanted to read for you guys, and excerpt from our
Speaker 1: book and it's currently available and hardcover e book audio
Speaker 1: book on audible dot com current and I narrated and
Speaker 1: unlike right now, if I messed up, I could rerecord it,
Speaker 1: so you know, but the audio book is amazing. And
Speaker 1: if you don't like to read. That's a good option
Speaker 1: for you. Um So here we go. Are you a
Speaker 1: degenerate cum dumpster who isn't worthy of love or affection?
Speaker 1: Probably not, but odds are someone has made you feel
Speaker 1: that way at one point in time. Hi. We're Karin
Speaker 1: Fisher and Christina Hutchinson, co host of Guys We Fucked,
Speaker 1: the anti slut shaming podcast, a weekly comedic discussion about
Speaker 1: human sexuality, relationships, and taboos that has garnered an absurdly
Speaker 1: large and loyal following, mostly because people feel a greater
Speaker 1: sense of shame, sexual shame, and hook up hang ups
Speaker 1: than we could have ever imagined. The catalyst for the
Speaker 1: podcast when down inside a Panera bread with Karen and
Speaker 1: her boyfriend at the time, a man who will be
Speaker 1: referred to from this point on as Panera after purchasing
Speaker 1: her book, Her Broke. After purchasing her Broke, also a
Speaker 1: comic bow of two years you picked two combo, complete
Speaker 1: with the dessert add on, he told her, I can't
Speaker 1: do this anymore. It was a breakup, breakdown of epic proportions,
Speaker 1: partly because Karin had just lost the love of her life,
Speaker 1: and partly because she realized how much control she had
Speaker 1: allowed a man to have over her happiness for so long.
Speaker 1: She spent months thinking about this, mostly using comedy as rehab,
Speaker 1: and began interrogating everyone she knew about their boyfriends, girlfriends,
Speaker 1: marriages and breakups. She was on her way to becoming
Speaker 1: the Barbara Walters relationships. After almost a year of reflection,
Speaker 1: including drawing way too much of a correlation between the
Speaker 1: Katy Perry Russell brand break up breakup and her own,
Speaker 1: Karine got an idea, an awful idea. Karine got a wonderful,
Speaker 1: awful idea. Influenced perhaps a little too much by movies
Speaker 1: starring John Qusack, she decided to take a cue from
Speaker 1: high Fidelity and go back and interview every boyfriend and
Speaker 1: sex partner she'd ever had to figure out what she
Speaker 1: was doing wrong. But for an undertaking of this level,
Speaker 1: one needs a friend, So coincient a text message to
Speaker 1: our longtime comedy partner, Christina, the other half of the
Speaker 1: Sorry About Last Night duo. The two girls had already
Speaker 1: made somewhat of a splash on the local comedy scene
Speaker 1: with their B y o B variety shows, rap music
Speaker 1: videos dedicated to shitty roommates, recaps of their of the
Speaker 1: show Girls and self titled two Women Show at the
Speaker 1: Upright Citizens Rigade Theater and Chelsea So to pair up
Speaker 1: on this new venture seemed only natural. And then there's
Speaker 1: an image there, but we can't read that from its
Speaker 1: inception at a dining room table at one one Kent
Speaker 1: Avenue in Williams Brooke, Brooklyn. You can still go there,
Speaker 1: it's still standing. Uh. The goal of Sorry About Last
Speaker 1: Night had always been to create comedy with a purpose,
Speaker 1: and this idea seemed to capture that notion quite succinctly.
Speaker 1: By sitting down with people from our past, we would
Speaker 1: become our best selves for the future. After a few
Speaker 1: whiskey infused meetings, including one in which Christina suggested adding
Speaker 1: the anti slut shaming podcast to the show's title, we
Speaker 1: pitched our idea to stand up New York Labs, the
Speaker 1: original home of Guys We Fucked, who accepted our edgy
Speaker 1: concept with open arms. Karin That's Me knew exactly who
Speaker 1: she wanted to start with for the first episode, Vinny Vitally,
Speaker 1: a charming, handsome, albeit neurotic comedian from Vernon, New Jersey
Speaker 1: who had been her on again, off again fling post Panera,
Speaker 1: he adored Karine, and she adored that adoration. After I
Speaker 1: Gotta Be Honest. After propositioning Vinnie one final time, this
Speaker 1: one being non sexual and in a coffee being at
Speaker 1: the corner of Bleaker and McDougall, their fate was sealed.
Speaker 1: The episode, ultimately entitled Vinnie, Can I Choke You, started
Speaker 1: with Karin recounting her recent and only one night stand
Speaker 1: with another Jersey boy, Anthony from Atlantic City, and Christina
Speaker 1: complaining about getting mistaken for a stripper. It ended up that, ladies,
Speaker 1: it ends up. It up being listened to by over
Speaker 1: five hundred thousand people. Listeners seemed to immediately gravitate toward
Speaker 1: our open and honest approach to sexuality because they said
Speaker 1: it made them feel like they were hanging out with
Speaker 1: their friends. As the interviews with former flings, fuck buddies,
Speaker 1: and ex boyfriends piled up, so did the emails in
Speaker 1: our inbox. Without prodding, subscribers began to furiously seek sex, dating,
Speaker 1: and relationship advice from us two pretty regular twenty somethings
Speaker 1: that was long ago, and all those emails were connected
Speaker 1: by one overbearing common thread, shame. These letters from strangers
Speaker 1: served as an alarming wake up call about society's relationship
Speaker 1: with sexuality. So we began to dive deeper with our
Speaker 1: guests and our subject matter. The darker the better. While
Speaker 1: comedy was still the glue that held every fucked up
Speaker 1: story together, we regularly laughed and cried with our guests
Speaker 1: about abortion, pedophilia, rape, sexual assault, domestic abuse, stalking, and suicide.
Speaker 1: What started out as a self centered endeavor to explore
Speaker 1: more about ourselves quickly morphed into something bigger. Doing our
Speaker 1: podcast has taught us how necessary it is to have
Speaker 1: women be confident and vocal about their sexual choices, be
Speaker 1: shameless but smart about them, and be serious but with
Speaker 1: a sense of humor, something sorely lacking in both sexuality
Speaker 1: and feminism. We are those women. The only shame we
Speaker 1: would feel is if we didn't write this book. Snap damn.
Speaker 1: After reading three years worth of emails from strangers of
Speaker 1: every age, gender, race, and sexual orientation, I mean, we hope,
Speaker 1: and from all around the world. The one thing we
Speaker 1: can say for certain is that whatever flavor of sexual
Speaker 1: shame you may have, you are not alone. While this
Speaker 1: book won't be able to magically heal you, we hope
Speaker 1: it will allow you to see yourself in a different way.
Speaker 1: If you're struggling to get over a breakup, coping with
Speaker 1: sexual trauma, or just dealing with the awkwardness of being human,
Speaker 1: we hope reading this will allow the healing process to
Speaker 1: continue or begin. Self help is not selfish. In fact,
Speaker 1: we believe it's the most selfless thing you can do.
Speaker 1: By taking time to better yourself, you will be a
Speaker 1: better partner. If the airplane of your life is going down,
Speaker 1: you have to properly fix your oxygen mask before helping
Speaker 1: anyone else. We know this because we've seen it with
Speaker 1: our podcast guests, in emails from our listeners, and in
Speaker 1: our own lives. While we're not necessarily suggesting you air
Speaker 1: your sexual laundry for the entire world to hear, that's
Speaker 1: kind of our thing, and we can certainly say the
Speaker 1: lessons from our podcast us are universal and transformative. Perhaps
Speaker 1: the biggest transformation has been in how the two of
Speaker 1: us understand ourselves. We've left no taboo stone unturned, and
Speaker 1: our conversations have frequently highlighted the delightful differences between us.
Speaker 1: The topics, while off polarizing, have done us the great
Speaker 1: service of showcasing our odd couple juxtaposition of personalities. Karin,
Speaker 1: three years older and a resident of New York City
Speaker 1: since age seventeen, is aggressively realistic, open minded, sarcastic, wise,
Speaker 1: and food driven, while Christina is loquacious, optimistic, curious, kind hearted,
Speaker 1: and a proud member of the Church of Beyonce this book.
Speaker 1: Within the first six months of recording Guys We Fucked,
Speaker 1: we were offered our first book deal by an editor
Speaker 1: who had published The Sideways Exploits of a Comedian We
Speaker 1: Love and Admire. While we were thrilled at the prospect,
Speaker 1: he quickly began pressuring us to alter our nonfiction sext
Speaker 1: worries into tawdry supermarket checkout tales with long descriptions of
Speaker 1: dick size that made fun of how stupid the men
Speaker 1: we Fucked had been. But that wasn't our style and
Speaker 1: certainly wasn't the case, so we passed. We were tired
Speaker 1: of these books that pandered to women like we're all
Speaker 1: hot messes, unable to handle our emotions with the assistance
Speaker 1: without the assistance of a man, a glass of rose
Speaker 1: and azan X, this book is the antidote to all
Speaker 1: that noise It will show the reader, be you male, female, transgender,
Speaker 1: or undecided, that you deal with shit. You brush your
Speaker 1: shoulders off like jay Z, and you move the funk
Speaker 1: on in a society where for some reason, it has
Speaker 1: become chic to be the victim, we say this pity
Speaker 1: party ends now. This manual won't be just for dame's
Speaker 1: post breakup and couples thinking of having a threesome. We're
Speaker 1: going to deal with a dark with the darker topics
Speaker 1: that most sexual self help books won't cover. Will go
Speaker 1: right from butt stuff to abortions, from sexual harassment to
Speaker 1: body shaming. Be because the overly cautious dialogue about these
Speaker 1: topics thus far has been hindering the cause. This book
Speaker 1: will take over where your therapists left off, because we
Speaker 1: wholeheartedly believe that the best way to feel better isn't
Speaker 1: for someone else to guide you through your feelings. It's
Speaker 1: to be strong enough to have the ability to laugh
Speaker 1: laugh yourself through the pain. This is more than a
Speaker 1: book about how to step away from the Ben and
Speaker 1: Jerry's of Jeff won't text you back. This is a
Speaker 1: book that will help you to be a person who won't,
Speaker 1: who would never let Jeff have enough power over you
Speaker 1: to open that pint to begin with, unless you just
Speaker 1: want to snack, and that's fine. A lot of books
Speaker 1: are by experts to so sure of what you should
Speaker 1: do that they're willing to make you feel terrible if
Speaker 1: you don't follow their instructions to a t Well, we
Speaker 1: can't tell you what to do, because that's your job.
Speaker 1: We do, however, have a laundry list of things we
Speaker 1: would suggest not doing based on our own experiences. This
Speaker 1: is a what not to do manual, if you will,
Speaker 1: based on true events, of course. This is a guide
Speaker 1: who love and sex for women who drink whiskey because
Speaker 1: they like it, not because it's a cute thing to
Speaker 1: say on your Tinder profile. It has no trigger warnings
Speaker 1: because life doesn't come with those. It won't talk down
Speaker 1: to you or hold you while you're crying. You're not weak.
Speaker 1: You can get through this. We're not going to explain
Speaker 1: to you why he's just not that into you, because
Speaker 1: it doesn't fucking matter. Despite what television, rom Coms and
Speaker 1: Cosmo tells you. You're fine all by yourself. This is
Speaker 1: the book Bridget Jones should have read instead of writing
Speaker 1: that shitty diary in the first place. Self help guides
Speaker 1: are kind of bullshit because well, if they really worked,
Speaker 1: we'd all be smiling, journaling and juicing. We all form uh,
Speaker 1: we all from time to time have a tumultuous relationship
Speaker 1: with our sexuality. To think of this book as a
Speaker 1: mental detox from the crap you've been fed regarding the
Speaker 1: choices you've made with your body. Sex isn't evil, and
Speaker 1: talking about it as the first step in your personal
Speaker 1: erotic exorcism. So let's talk about fucking. It's funny because
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, Cosmo featuring a Cosmo and the
Speaker 1: November issue in the Cosmo. Well, it's which was very,
Speaker 1: very meaningful to me, specifically because I grew up. I
Speaker 1: would go over my friend of A Manda's house in
Speaker 1: middle school and her mom let us watched her Sex
Speaker 1: in the City DVD box set, and I would read
Speaker 1: all of her mom's cosmos, and I would learn about
Speaker 1: I would learn about sex. But then once you kind
Speaker 1: of grow up and you see all the things that
Speaker 1: are available about sex and dating, it's like they're either
Speaker 1: condescending or medical and stale, or like he you know,
Speaker 1: he really wants he just wants you to blow him
Speaker 1: at dinner, like no, you know, and you have to
Speaker 1: take into account getting to know yourself and what you want.
Speaker 1: That's such an important factor and for me one of
Speaker 1: the reasons that I I'm so proud of this book.
Speaker 1: Our listeners are a really big part of it. At last,
Speaker 1: Perry shout Out, who was a listener of Guys We
Speaker 1: Fucked Um and an amazing illustrator, did all the designs
Speaker 1: for or that you're going to see inside and in
Speaker 1: between each section, the dividers have word bubbles with questions
Speaker 1: that relate to the topic, and those are all grabbed
Speaker 1: verbatim from our inbox. Those are subject lines from listeners.
Speaker 1: So i'd see yourself, you might, you really know names obviously,
Speaker 1: and then yeah, and then the photo on the cover
Speaker 1: is also taken by our longtime friend and photographer de Guerreros,
Speaker 1: who's been with us taking photos toon. She took that Yeah,
Speaker 1: the picture that you see signs likely with with a
Speaker 1: cigar and the whiskey. Um. So it's really just kind
Speaker 1: of this nice package of all the people who have
Speaker 1: helped us to get this level, get to this level,
Speaker 1: the artists who have helped us, the listeners who have
Speaker 1: helped us, and everyone who shared a story or a
Speaker 1: thought or said something rude that made me go off
Speaker 1: on a tank. You know. Yeah, I think at this
Speaker 1: time it felt right to write a book because we
Speaker 1: have a very unique window into the minds of people,
Speaker 1: and you tell us your deepest, darkest secrets or stuff
Speaker 1: you're ashamed of or afraid of, or something you think
Speaker 1: is weird, but then we read it and really that's
Speaker 1: not weird. And so we kind of have had, because
Speaker 1: of you guys, a really good idea of what what
Speaker 1: are people, what do people need, what's going to help
Speaker 1: the most? And so thank you for writing us and
Speaker 1: listening to us. And this is the reason why we
Speaker 1: were able to write a book is because of you guys.
Speaker 1: So um, yeah, this ship. And it wouldn't be humanly
Speaker 1: possible to respond to every email that we have in
Speaker 1: our inbox. We just it's just I would think a
Speaker 1: person could really do that realistically without sleeping, if that
Speaker 1: was our full time, If that was our full time job,
Speaker 1: and we could make money by answering the emails, Not
Speaker 1: that we need the money, but like literally were gonna
Speaker 1: spend all our time, wouldn't have time to make a
Speaker 1: living otherwise. UM, So hopefully, if you know, if we
Speaker 1: you have a question that hasn't been answered, because sometimes
Speaker 1: I feel really guilty about not getting back to us,
Speaker 1: and hopefully if it was something that you really really
Speaker 1: needed urgent help with, you've either put all caps title
Speaker 1: and we answered it, or you found a therapist or
Speaker 1: a friend or family member or counselor who could help
Speaker 1: you with us. But if not, and if the things
Speaker 1: were less pressing, hopefully the answers or a kind of
Speaker 1: a way to get to those answers is available in
Speaker 1: this book. I think it's pretty comprehensive, and we cover
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff, and yeah, it's definitely directed, you know,
Speaker 1: more towards you know, women, women, I think, but yeah,
Speaker 1: because they have that's the most of the stories that
Speaker 1: I read about sexual shame are from from our listeners,
Speaker 1: are from women when we are women, and and and
Speaker 1: and we don't, I don't know, I can't, we can't
Speaker 1: get into and we tried to be inclusive as possible.
Speaker 1: But when you're writing a book, it's like it would
Speaker 1: almost I think it would be irresponsible to write from
Speaker 1: a perspective that we didn't know men should do this,
Speaker 1: like I don't. So it's like, yes, this is our lives.
Speaker 1: We grew up in uh you know, the northeast of America,
Speaker 1: well for most of the time. We grew up in
Speaker 1: Virginia a little bit, but uh, you know. So hopefully
Speaker 1: you enjoy it. And again, it's something I highly recommend
Speaker 1: since it's not super targeted, like I don't. I don't
Speaker 1: think an adult man is going to get a ton
Speaker 1: out of this. If you're straight, they I think no,
Speaker 1: But I think I think a better thing to do
Speaker 1: is like if you want to support the podcast, if
Speaker 1: you're a long time listener, buying it and giving it
Speaker 1: to a young woman in your life, I think would
Speaker 1: be a really like cool gesture and then just and
Speaker 1: then you just say a current And Christina said it
Speaker 1: wasn't creepy to do that, yeah, Or I would love
Speaker 1: for a lot of young men to listen to this book,
Speaker 1: to read the book or listen if you get audible too,
Speaker 1: because I feel like a lot of the things I
Speaker 1: wish I could tell all the young men in my life,
Speaker 1: really I do. It'll be more of a guidance on
Speaker 1: how to treat women in your life, not really not
Speaker 1: as much guidance for yourself was what I was getting right, right,
Speaker 1: because it's like, yeah, you really can't. I don't know
Speaker 1: how you want to jerk off? He jerk off what
Speaker 1: you wanted? Yeah, I tell you, I don't know about
Speaker 1: your penis. Um. And it also means a lot to
Speaker 1: me because our mom's had a part in it. Um
Speaker 1: that that means so much to me. Um. And Steven
Speaker 1: wrote a little paragraph in it because in a part
Speaker 1: where I was like, I don't I'm not going to
Speaker 1: say what a man's perspective is on this butt stuff.
Speaker 1: You say it, so he wrote like a little excerpt
Speaker 1: James wrote apart two. But I mean not by him,
Speaker 1: not by himself. I just like interviewed him and then
Speaker 1: up good credit for what he said. But you know
Speaker 1: I did mention his name here and there, and uh,
Speaker 1: yeah it was my life school to yeah, to have
Speaker 1: my mom be published our author. So like we're kind
Speaker 1: of there, Yeah, you are that kind of alright. Our guest. Uh,
Speaker 1: we have such a fun conversation with the this week's guest.
Speaker 1: She is a New Orleans based singer songwriter. Uh, she's
Speaker 1: never been to high school. I didn't know that what
Speaker 1: did we talk about that with her? We talked a
Speaker 1: lot about fucking, which was needed because we've had some
Speaker 1: downer episodes because the world is a cess pool. Yes,
Speaker 1: but the world is sucked up and it's also fun
Speaker 1: and funny, and we're gonna focus on that part of it.
Speaker 1: She has a kickstarter for her new game, The Effing Truth,
Speaker 1: a card game for people who fucking tell, And we
Speaker 1: answer a lot of questions on this episode from her cards,
Speaker 1: and it's fucking fascinating. You learned a lot about us
Speaker 1: you didn't know before. She has an album out called
Speaker 1: so Ferocious. Ladies and Gentlemen, give it up for r. C.
Speaker 1: Blandon walking through the city, feeling so ferocious. I could
Speaker 1: take age anyone. You we gonna see me run from you,
Speaker 1: No way, no way. Everything he said to me was
Speaker 1: so jocious. You are to take it back. If I
Speaker 1: had a punch you pack, I'd make you pay, you pay.
Speaker 1: I just you mind, lady, you eye and you want
Speaker 1: to take it all day. You're just the foisting for
Speaker 1: a fight, which didn't know it. I sol ferocious, self focious.
Speaker 1: Wake Betty morning, feeling so malicious by full sour grace.
Speaker 1: When you see your smiling face so makes you mad,
Speaker 1: so mad everything I haven't do so delicious cut bake
Speaker 1: when it come to pay you, I feel sick, So
Speaker 1: I guess you might ray it's last self ferocious self farocius. Right,
Speaker 1: we're here with cars people. I'm crazy. You both just
Speaker 1: took my doll. While you just took it. I took
Speaker 1: it earlier. I woke up with a kink in my
Speaker 1: neck and cramps so bad it couldn't stand up. So
Speaker 1: I was walking like, uh, I could have been in
Speaker 1: a haunted house. Well, it's busnas season. Yeah. So you
Speaker 1: were talking before your musician I am. I'm a songwriter, songwriter,
Speaker 1: what do you p um? I play guitar? Nice my
Speaker 1: main deal. And you were telling me about right before
Speaker 1: crinn Buzz didn't came over, about the type of manner
Speaker 1: into is going out of fashion, and I was like,
Speaker 1: hold that thought. We're gonna talk about it on the mic. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: so you're talking about how you're into like the metro
Speaker 1: sexual sensitive guy thing and that's great because that is
Speaker 1: going around. Yeah, and I'm into the like manly, assertive,
Speaker 1: like traditional masculinity guy. They're very hard to find a
Speaker 1: little bit clean cut, like has a job, job, that
Speaker 1: kind of thing, and I feel like that is like
Speaker 1: in our generation that has really fallen out of favor,
Speaker 1: like a job. I find it, yeah, really aren't. I
Speaker 1: find it even embarrassing to be I'm like, oh, I'm
Speaker 1: into the whole, like the like last century version of
Speaker 1: masculinity and clearly that's not what we're doing now. And
Speaker 1: that's great. And you want someone to punch in the face,
Speaker 1: you know, no, but like maybe slap me sometimes, but sex, yeah,
Speaker 1: but every I mean I that's why I like metro
Speaker 1: sexual guys. I feel like they're more they're like totally
Speaker 1: willing to do that. They're down, but like in regular life,
Speaker 1: they're not going to slap you, and that's good. Fingers crossed.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Sometimes they will though sometimes they surprise you,
Speaker 1: you know, sometimes in the middle of the the times if
Speaker 1: they're trying to be metro but secretly they're super aggro
Speaker 1: and then it comes out at a weird time. What
Speaker 1: a gro that that I grow like aggressive? Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't I don't trust metro sex. So how what
Speaker 1: kind of what kind of guys? Okay, see you like
Speaker 1: really stereotypically masculine guys like the last guy you dated, Like,
Speaker 1: what was he? Was he that type of person? Well,
Speaker 1: so I'm married, I'm I'm open married. So I'm married,
Speaker 1: but get to funk around. Which is best of both worlds?
Speaker 1: Humble opinion. So many questions because I agree that sounds
Speaker 1: like my personal ideal scenario. What how when did you
Speaker 1: start being open? Okay, so we've been together just over
Speaker 1: ten years, and when we got together, we established that
Speaker 1: we both really liked being single and wanted to still
Speaker 1: get to act as though we were single. So we
Speaker 1: had a one night stand and the next morning I
Speaker 1: was like, listen, I just got out of a relationship.
Speaker 1: I don't really want to be somebody's girlfriend. And he
Speaker 1: was like, great, I don't want to be somebody's boyfriend.
Speaker 1: So it's sort of like the initial setting of the
Speaker 1: relationship was that we both were really enjoying being single
Speaker 1: and sleeping around, and so we just continued doing that
Speaker 1: even as we He was my funk buddy, but we
Speaker 1: were hanging out a lot because we were like falling
Speaker 1: in love. It was like my funk buddy, but we
Speaker 1: fell in love and then we moved in together after
Speaker 1: a few months, but it was still like we had
Speaker 1: established a baseline of like it's cool that you can
Speaker 1: be attracted to other people and maybe even get to
Speaker 1: have sex with them. So from day one it was open.
Speaker 1: From day one, it was open. We've closed it a
Speaker 1: couple of times since then because like like clothes for
Speaker 1: business for now. Yeah, we kind of like a few
Speaker 1: months here and there of monogamy because they're like we're
Speaker 1: dealing with other stuff for or somebody got their feelings hurt. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, it's like, you know, if your
Speaker 1: husband's mother just passed away, you're not gonna go trying
Speaker 1: to call him and be like, listen, I'm on tour
Speaker 1: and there's this traditionally masculine guy. Are you how often
Speaker 1: are you uh acting on because it seems like if
Speaker 1: you're closing it for a few months, you must be
Speaker 1: pretty acting on the openness pretty frequently. I'm pretty sexually
Speaker 1: active myself. And you know about your husband or is
Speaker 1: that you don't don't ask? No, we do talk about
Speaker 1: what are your what are your rules? Okay, so the
Speaker 1: rules are that we talk about like extramarital sex before
Speaker 1: we engage in it. What do you what is that
Speaker 1: conversation consist of you kind of Usually these days it's
Speaker 1: like a text, Like it's almost always when I'm out
Speaker 1: of town. So I tour a lot, so I'm gone
Speaker 1: like half the time. So that's actually one of the
Speaker 1: things that I think makes it work is that we're
Speaker 1: not like living the domestic life all the time time,
Speaker 1: So we're a part a lot and I'll be on
Speaker 1: tour so often I'll send a text that's like, hey,
Speaker 1: the guy, there's a guy at the house I'm staying at,
Speaker 1: or like at the show or whatever, would that be
Speaker 1: cool if we did whatever, if we liked He always
Speaker 1: say yes, not always, so he doesn't say yes if
Speaker 1: he's like stressed out. If he's stressed out, he's like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to deal with wondering what's going on.
Speaker 1: And if if he's not stressed out and he's feeling good,
Speaker 1: he's usually like, yeah, whatever, like have fun, I'm doing
Speaker 1: my life, you're doing your life. Yeah? And then have
Speaker 1: you does he grant you that same courtesy, uh to
Speaker 1: tell me yes? And do you say yes and no?
Speaker 1: Sometimes Yeah, there's been like a long journey with it.
Speaker 1: Now I'm thinking back. So first of all, I act
Speaker 1: on it more than he does in recent years. It
Speaker 1: used to be the opposite. He's older than me, and
Speaker 1: he also like slept around more than I did before
Speaker 1: we got together. He's older than me, So it was
Speaker 1: there was at the beginning, there was a little feeling
Speaker 1: of like, well, you have to catch up to like
Speaker 1: all the sledding around that I already did, and to right,
Speaker 1: and then how old is he? Like how much? Four?
Speaker 1: So not that much five years ago? Yeah, because yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you being twenty two when you met that's I mean,
Speaker 1: that's a bait. You barely I mean, I haven't gotten anything.
Speaker 1: And I had just I had gotten out of a
Speaker 1: four year relationship, all right, So I was like, I
Speaker 1: just hadn't been a single adult for a time. I
Speaker 1: felt like super important. Yeah, that's how I felt feel
Speaker 1: kind of because I look back, I started see when
Speaker 1: I was twenty three. That's a long time. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so so yeah, he'll tell me, I'll tell him. We
Speaker 1: talked about it, Um, how much do you give about
Speaker 1: the like what what actual sexual acts you will be
Speaker 1: partaking in? I mean, and it's also and it's also
Speaker 1: like how do you know what you're gonna exactly? What? Yeah,
Speaker 1: like I mean, there's like a different text for like
Speaker 1: anal or like I mean, or is that something you
Speaker 1: don't do? Like if it's gonna be a back door party,
Speaker 1: it's like a little bit more you know, non traditional.
Speaker 1: Uh So we've gone through phase with that too. These days,
Speaker 1: it's super on specific. It's like there's a hot guy
Speaker 1: I wanna, I don't know what, like be on his
Speaker 1: body in some way, um, and then whatever happens is
Speaker 1: cool basically, and then I'll like usually report back later,
Speaker 1: which we both kind of enjoy the reporting back. Do
Speaker 1: you think it's hot when other people? I kind of
Speaker 1: because I do now. I do now. It's like for me,
Speaker 1: it took me a few years of this of having
Speaker 1: open relationship to kind of like a burned through a
Speaker 1: lot of my insecurity about it and be figure out
Speaker 1: the kinds of things that made me uncomfortable, Like like
Speaker 1: for him to want to be sexual with a friend
Speaker 1: of mine is sometimes okay as long as the friend
Speaker 1: and I have a really good relationship. But if there's
Speaker 1: something weird, if there's some weird competitiveness or like I
Speaker 1: feel like she is there's something else going on, kind
Speaker 1: of deal affect a friendship, I'll have some of your
Speaker 1: friends sucked your husband. Some of my friends have sucked
Speaker 1: my husband. That's so that's like my dreamline. But I
Speaker 1: have to say that I've also lost several friends I've
Speaker 1: lost I've lost one major friendship, like directly as a
Speaker 1: result of them having relationship with my husband. And then
Speaker 1: I've lost like a couple of peripheral friendships that like
Speaker 1: sort of blew up with that friendship. Can you can
Speaker 1: you operate this, oh my god, drama. I don't even
Speaker 1: want to go into that much detail because it's so
Speaker 1: such a like thing. But um, basically, like you know,
Speaker 1: the the ideal with sex for me is that it's
Speaker 1: a really fun activity that you can do and like
Speaker 1: everybody's above board and you can communicate about it and
Speaker 1: everything is peachy. But like the reality is, it's complicated
Speaker 1: and it touches all of our emotions and vulnerabilities, and
Speaker 1: so as much as you try to avoid drama, you
Speaker 1: can't always. And that's true if you're single too, even
Speaker 1: if you're a monogamous. Yeah, and so we like we've
Speaker 1: you know, funked around to varying degrees with varying people,
Speaker 1: and like one of them. One of those relationships resulted
Speaker 1: in like a giant drama bomb, and there's a few
Speaker 1: years with their feelings involved, like romantic doing some feelings
Speaker 1: on all ends. Everybody had feelings and did you have
Speaker 1: feelings for who? Did you have feeling me? Yeah, it
Speaker 1: was more like like we had feelings in the friendship
Speaker 1: that weren't worked out. Oh, and then the friend went
Speaker 1: and had relations with and then they had their own
Speaker 1: things jealousy, Like what kind of what can you a
Speaker 1: couple of, like title, a couple of feelings like jealousy
Speaker 1: and like codependency. Maybe that's what I would say. I
Speaker 1: would say that we had like a three way codependent
Speaker 1: relationship going and that was a bad move, and you
Speaker 1: wouldn't be into like polyamory no, And mostly because of
Speaker 1: that reason, because like it is, it is hard to
Speaker 1: find one other person who you can like have an actual,
Speaker 1: like honest, authentic relationship with and like their bullshit isn't
Speaker 1: going to like trigger your bullshit in the wrong way.
Speaker 1: That's hard enough, and finding another person that's just like
Speaker 1: the chances of meeting two people where their bullshit isn't
Speaker 1: going to like mess up your bullshit is complimentary too slim,
Speaker 1: too slim. It was very challenging for you to get
Speaker 1: through these first couple of years of the relationships, so like,
Speaker 1: but obviously the rewards you were getting must have outweighed
Speaker 1: the turmoil you were going through. Can you kind of
Speaker 1: explain that a little bit more detail totally? I mean,
Speaker 1: I think the supplies in a lot of areas of
Speaker 1: my life. I feel like most people have more traditional
Speaker 1: lifestyles than I do, and lots of different ways, Like
Speaker 1: I'm an artist and I tour half the time, I'm
Speaker 1: not at home, and also have an open marriage, and
Speaker 1: all this stuff for me is about like there are
Speaker 1: risks and rewards to doing things in a non traditional way.
Speaker 1: So for not amnogamy, it's like, the risk is that
Speaker 1: I'm going to be jealous sometimes when we get my
Speaker 1: feelings hurt. Sometimes it's gonna be a drama bomb, and
Speaker 1: I might lose friends about it, and also like drama
Speaker 1: bomb and also like maybe we're going to break up
Speaker 1: because of it. Like those are all risks, but the
Speaker 1: rewards are I get to have like more exciting sexual
Speaker 1: relationships with new people, which is something I really value.
Speaker 1: I get to have a really high degree of independence
Speaker 1: because like, my husband is not policing me ever with
Speaker 1: other men because he's like, well, if you really want
Speaker 1: to another guy, you're just gonna tell me about it,
Speaker 1: and then you probably will and that's fine. So like,
Speaker 1: I really I think there's so many questions and I
Speaker 1: have to ask them before you move on. So for
Speaker 1: that that one that you just listed about the policing.
Speaker 1: So but if you really want to fox someone in
Speaker 1: your husband said no, have you ever still done it?
Speaker 1: Then no? But okay, So I mean there's there's like
Speaker 1: thinking that. It was like a mild think. So it's
Speaker 1: only policing, but he holds a veto power because you
Speaker 1: know you would think too, because that's what I've I've
Speaker 1: been talking to Steven a lot about open relationship. We
Speaker 1: can make our own rules. And one of the things
Speaker 1: is like, say, you know, if if I wanted to
Speaker 1: sleep with somebody and you're like, I'm I'm not in
Speaker 1: a good place right now, and it would really crush
Speaker 1: myself esteem right now if you did, I don't want
Speaker 1: to think I wouldn't want to fuck that. I really
Speaker 1: want to suck the person, even if I was so
Speaker 1: horny and like, oh my god, I want to do
Speaker 1: is rip this guy's close off. It to hurt him
Speaker 1: would make me so sun out that I don't think
Speaker 1: i'd want to, so I I, yeah, I can see
Speaker 1: how that would actually really work. Stick to the right,
Speaker 1: and so just the risk reward thing just to finish
Speaker 1: that thought. So to me, like the reward of getting
Speaker 1: to have fun, exciting sex with new people and getting
Speaker 1: to feel super independent and like my husband isn't trying
Speaker 1: to control my sexuality, those things are so valuable to
Speaker 1: me that it's worth it to like feel emotionally messed
Speaker 1: up sometimes, or feel jealous sometimes, or feeling secure. Like
Speaker 1: that's an okay trade off to me. But I think
Speaker 1: you the only way you can decide that is if
Speaker 1: you know what your own values are and like what
Speaker 1: makes you happy and so go with you. You gotta
Speaker 1: know who you are before you embark them. And like,
Speaker 1: I think it's probably unusual, Like I think I have
Speaker 1: an unusual amount of like stock in getting to have
Speaker 1: new romantic and sexual relationships and it's probably because I
Speaker 1: write songs about that. So it's like a big source
Speaker 1: of inspiration for me. And that's where my creativity is,
Speaker 1: and that's my career. Sexual things. Yeah, and so like
Speaker 1: letting go of that doesn't feel like, oh well, time
Speaker 1: to grow up and like close that chapter of my
Speaker 1: life or whatever, Like it feels like, wait a minute,
Speaker 1: that's like most of my life. If I closed that chapter,
Speaker 1: I don't know. That doesn't sound fun. And I see
Speaker 1: you're not wearing a wedding ring. It does that have
Speaker 1: anything to do with me an open relationship? I just
Speaker 1: don't like it. I just don't like rings because I
Speaker 1: play guitar and you have Do you have a funny story?
Speaker 1: I did, but I lost it. You really don't like wedding.
Speaker 1: I really just know. I don't know, not not a thing.
Speaker 1: I'd no, it's just am that's worse, you know, just
Speaker 1: my great great great grandmothers literally gather. I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't you know. It was it was on It was
Speaker 1: like in a little box on a dresser in my
Speaker 1: house and we moved. So when when we got to
Speaker 1: the new house, it just didn't exist anymore. So it's
Speaker 1: either like under the house or it's in some bag.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah, you never know, Like maybe next
Speaker 1: time you move you'll find it, like in a little corner.
Speaker 1: It's somewhere in New Orleans in the vicinity of my house,
Speaker 1: I can almost certainly kind of nice. So wait, what
Speaker 1: else are your rules rules all the person tell the person?
Speaker 1: Is there a limit like per month? Like obviously friends
Speaker 1: are not off limits unless you're like back friends specifically
Speaker 1: rather than not. Yeah. So yeah, we talked before. We
Speaker 1: both have veto power. We used to have a no
Speaker 1: penetrative vaginal sex rule, but now we don't anymore because
Speaker 1: that I wouldn't mind either. I was thinking of that.
Speaker 1: I'm like, you don't have to stick your dick in mate,
Speaker 1: like you could. We could just you know, and that
Speaker 1: was like a safety thing, like, oh god, what have
Speaker 1: you got? Someone else pregnantly would be so crazy? I
Speaker 1: think that, But now I don't know. In my old age,
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, fuck it. I know for me, if
Speaker 1: I was going through all those drama without penetration, I'd
Speaker 1: below that would be actually the worst. That would be
Speaker 1: worse than not being fighting. I don't even get a
Speaker 1: dick in May, Yeah, that would be that would be worse.
Speaker 1: Can see, you know your values and that's important. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because everyone's so and every couple is dressed me out more. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: do you think wait So do you think it's kind
Speaker 1: of hot when he sucks other chicks? I do? Yeah,
Speaker 1: does he think it's hot when you usually? Yeah, that's nice.
Speaker 1: Have you guys had sex like like three SOMs or
Speaker 1: sex in front of each other like swingers type, which
Speaker 1: which one of those? Uh have a resume we can
Speaker 1: start playing the game. We get all that. No, but
Speaker 1: we have had three SOMs and group sex and stuff
Speaker 1: in the past. We used to do more of that
Speaker 1: because I think when we were first like together, it
Speaker 1: was like it was really because we were all in
Speaker 1: love and it was all, oh, you're so hot and
Speaker 1: then be it was like less scary that way because
Speaker 1: I could like see him there with the other woman
Speaker 1: and be like, Okay, this is not dying. It's not right.
Speaker 1: The world has not ended. Like there's his dick, there's
Speaker 1: the woman. Everything's okay. I feel it's kind of hot.
Speaker 1: Actually it was good like brain training for non monogamy.
Speaker 1: I think that's that's Yes. Every time I've seen my
Speaker 1: boyfriend's penis and another woman's vagina, I'm like, I'm okay, Yeah,
Speaker 1: So you also have an open relationship. No, it's um,
Speaker 1: we can't. We don't. We've only had just reasons that's it.
Speaker 1: But I've been poking them about it. I'm like, would
Speaker 1: you want to do um? But you know, oh wait,
Speaker 1: and you said, this is another thing you said, I
Speaker 1: think you would talk about a crush like I was
Speaker 1: talking about. I was talking to Carci about the second
Speaker 1: ever episode of Guys. We talked with Nico how you
Speaker 1: kind of met him downstairs at the door, so when
Speaker 1: he came in it was the first time I've seen
Speaker 1: him in three years when we like started recording, and
Speaker 1: there was a point where you were like, do you
Speaker 1: guys want me to leave? Because there was that's uncomfortable
Speaker 1: and and you said you had that with somebody, and
Speaker 1: it's so that that feeling, I actually don't mind. I
Speaker 1: think it's fun. But you know, I'm with somebody, so
Speaker 1: I'm not. I guess if I was single, i'd probably
Speaker 1: just be like, hey, Nico, what'd you doing? Hey do anything?
Speaker 1: You won't even if I don't want to date UM.
Speaker 1: That feeling is so magnetic, Like I'm so drawn to it.
Speaker 1: But what's what's Oh, you know, I just um, I
Speaker 1: have like a persistent crush right now in my life
Speaker 1: that I've kind of been trying to kill and it
Speaker 1: won't die. So we have you had sex with this person.
Speaker 1: We had sex and it still won't die. Well that
Speaker 1: makes sense, And it's like we do like each other.
Speaker 1: I like it might get along with him, but I
Speaker 1: would not want to date um. In a million years
Speaker 1: if I was single, I would not want to date UM.
Speaker 1: I would probably want to date UM, and it would
Speaker 1: be like a terrible idea, right, it would explode like
Speaker 1: this is so hot, we should totally be together, but
Speaker 1: really we should not. It is a ad like compatibility wise,
Speaker 1: are you allowed to have sex with someone multiple times? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's all that stuff is like not there are no rules,
Speaker 1: but it's a it's a negotiation. So like there are
Speaker 1: definitely times when between me and my husband were like
Speaker 1: this is probably a bad idea, okay, Like you could
Speaker 1: be honest about yeah, and you have to like so sorry,
Speaker 1: do you have to say that it's the same person
Speaker 1: or can you just or can you be vague so
Speaker 1: that he wouldn't know person. I'm not encouraging you lying.
Speaker 1: I don't think that just like that it's a loophole. No, No,
Speaker 1: he like knows he knows all my other pieces fall
Speaker 1: in love with pieces I fall in love with people
Speaker 1: all the time, and actually that's like fall out of
Speaker 1: love with him. Yeah, that's a funny thing about me
Speaker 1: that I feel like almost made it easier because I
Speaker 1: think like early in the relationship, I was able to
Speaker 1: like communicate to John, my husband, and be like, you know,
Speaker 1: funny story with me, fall in love with dudes. I
Speaker 1: want to funk dudes. Also I write songs about dudes,
Speaker 1: like all this is big part of my life. And
Speaker 1: he was like, okay, got it. Like so the fall
Speaker 1: in love thing, like we never assumed that because we
Speaker 1: were in love, I wasn't going to ever be in
Speaker 1: love with anyone else. He doesn't really operate the same way,
Speaker 1: Like I don't think he's falling in love with anybody
Speaker 1: else since we've been together. But he's just much less
Speaker 1: of a like mushy little marshmallow heart purchase occupation. He's
Speaker 1: like an engineer now he's houses. He's like he's like
Speaker 1: a making stuff in the real world, brainy person, and
Speaker 1: I'm like a making songs, you know. I was like,
Speaker 1: just like that, Um, what was I saying? Oh? Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I fell in love a lot, and I like
Speaker 1: most of my songs are about new people and I'm
Speaker 1: with rather than like I reade all these love songs
Speaker 1: and sexy songs, but they're not about my husband goes
Speaker 1: to a concert. It's about it's about that was about Michael.
Speaker 1: He's a very secure person. That's oh that's a pretty
Speaker 1: mad extra. It's also like it's he also gets that.
Speaker 1: It's like it's partly yes, real life and me being honest,
Speaker 1: and it's partly like the act, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: He gets that there's like there's the public me who's
Speaker 1: like like when I do a show, I talk about
Speaker 1: like this is about a guy that blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: This is about a guy where we had a one
Speaker 1: night stand. Like I tell little stories, and like he
Speaker 1: gets that that's my act and that's my show and
Speaker 1: that's my artistic persona, and also that I am a
Speaker 1: private person too, and that the relationship we have as
Speaker 1: private people is separate from that. I don't know, that's
Speaker 1: like a weird distinction if you're a public person, But
Speaker 1: I feel like when you're dating someone as a public person,
Speaker 1: like it's important that they get that that's a different
Speaker 1: thing the same. Yeah, I'm sure you do that, Like
Speaker 1: they know they're not dating the like the you that
Speaker 1: is on the podcast. They're similar but the same, right,
Speaker 1: And there are things that I certainly don't that I
Speaker 1: don't share, uh and and those are like the most
Speaker 1: important things, like in my soul that really would be
Speaker 1: kind of meaningless to listeners. So it's not worth it.
Speaker 1: Nobody wants to hear that ship, right, Yeah, it's not
Speaker 1: not not non important. I mean they don't. I mean
Speaker 1: I formably wouldn't want to hear it. That's funny. Um, okay,
Speaker 1: So do we before we go into like because we
Speaker 1: want to talk probably talk about childhood and feminism and
Speaker 1: all those kinds of things in your blog. But while
Speaker 1: we're on sex stuff, should we do this the effing
Speaker 1: truth game that you have here? And I want to
Speaker 1: explain a little bit about it because you also have
Speaker 1: a sex blog that's pretty popular. I do. I have
Speaker 1: that I have a sex and it's it's just Carcy
Speaker 1: Blanton Dot. It's just like the blog section of my website.
Speaker 1: I think it might have a title that's like thoughts
Speaker 1: on Love, Sex and Ferocity because I have called so ferocious,
Speaker 1: so I like talking about being ferocious anyway. But so
Speaker 1: the blog section of my website is my blog. My
Speaker 1: website is Carci Bland dot com. But this game The
Speaker 1: Effing Truth is just like this side project that has
Speaker 1: kind of taken over my life a little bit. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So it started out as like I had an idea
Speaker 1: you for a game. Wouldn't it be cool if there
Speaker 1: was a game which was like a deck of cards
Speaker 1: with all these sex questions And there's like a competitive
Speaker 1: element because you get you get a basically a bingo board,
Speaker 1: a little numbered board, and each sex question has a number,
Speaker 1: so you're when you answer yes, you get to cross
Speaker 1: off a number, so you're trying to win. So like
Speaker 1: you get five in a row, you get bingo, you're
Speaker 1: the winner of the iffing Truth. Everyone goes down on you,
Speaker 1: and everyone exactly I mean, I mean hopefully. So it's
Speaker 1: just the most sexually adventurous person would win. Correct, no,
Speaker 1: because so that's so there's luck and strategy. So the
Speaker 1: luck element is that the board is different for each person,
Speaker 1: so you get different numbers. You might not have that number,
Speaker 1: And the strategy element is having the most sex So
Speaker 1: so the fuckingest person won't win every time, but they
Speaker 1: do have a strategic advantage. Okay, all right, well that's
Speaker 1: more fair. Yeah. Otherwise in a group of friends, you
Speaker 1: would kind of just know this guy. Yeah. So anyway,
Speaker 1: The effing Truth that's the game. I'm funding it on
Speaker 1: Kickstarter right now, um for like two more days when
Speaker 1: this podcast comes out. Um, you can pledge and and
Speaker 1: you'll get the game in a couple of months. But
Speaker 1: if people are so inspired that they want to donate late,
Speaker 1: then you can still go to the website. Ven momy absolutely. Uh,
Speaker 1: the fing truth dot com right now redirects the Kickstarter,
Speaker 1: but then it'll be the website and I'll give you
Speaker 1: information about how to get the game in the future. Okay, cool.
Speaker 1: Who illustrated these cards? Uh? This artist called Petite Luxurs,
Speaker 1: a French artist on Instagram who does all this amazingly
Speaker 1: sexy illustration. It's all like black lines on white, like
Speaker 1: super simple, but yeah, I really explicit. Um. Okay, so
Speaker 1: this one the top of the cards a story talk
Speaker 1: about a time you masturbated in an unusual or inappropriate place.
Speaker 1: I mean, I've already lost this game. You've ever done that.
Speaker 1: I don't masturbate in public. No, I don't do it
Speaker 1: in public or anybody's weird. My path nowhere weird. Now
Speaker 1: I'm not a big masturbator. And also I want to say,
Speaker 1: are you a huge masturbator? Yeah, but you know which one?
Speaker 1: Do I feel comfortable a minuting Well now you have
Speaker 1: now I'm dying to know I have on a plane.
Speaker 1: But like in so now you can feel that comfortable. Yeah?
Speaker 1: Mine still work? Um, okay, because it involved past jobs.
Speaker 1: But no one was there care what I mean, that's
Speaker 1: what I would expect it was to be work. Masturbating
Speaker 1: at work is probably the number one place that people masturbate,
Speaker 1: other than maybe like at school. Yeah, let me think
Speaker 1: of a plate hold on. I mean, I don't because
Speaker 1: the people that I would listen and they're like, I
Speaker 1: was there. I wasn't there, but I knew her and
Speaker 1: I worked with her. Um, I mean not inappropriate, dirty, No,
Speaker 1: It's just it just wasn't smart to me to be
Speaker 1: I should have done. I don't know why I did it.
Speaker 1: I don't know why did it. Morning when I'm alone
Speaker 1: in a room, I'm just like, oh, no one told
Speaker 1: like a masturbate. So even when I'm like in the
Speaker 1: day to day, where do you have that accident when
Speaker 1: you masterurbate exactly. I say, that was like a mass
Speaker 1: debate and then and then I do it. But mine's
Speaker 1: very clean. I mean, um, I can just just rub
Speaker 1: up against something in my pants. I mean it doesn't
Speaker 1: really so it was like the Apple Store, Like where
Speaker 1: was this? I mean you haven't, I mean, do it
Speaker 1: like in front of a child, because because you'll have
Speaker 1: to understand people's imaginations are worse than what you're like. No,
Speaker 1: but I know the people that this is a long
Speaker 1: time ago. But the people that I worked with a
Speaker 1: long time ago listen to this podcast, well now, I
Speaker 1: mean they all know yeah, so I don't know, so
Speaker 1: I know what the podcast is about. They all have
Speaker 1: their own assumptions about how much you mester it, like
Speaker 1: you're like, wipe yourself. Now, I never took my pants
Speaker 1: off that you didn't even take your pants off. It
Speaker 1: was always in a bathroom, so reasonable place. You know,
Speaker 1: it's not I'm going to see these people soon. All
Speaker 1: the things you've talked about on my podcast. Can you
Speaker 1: write it down because this is going to distract me
Speaker 1: for the rest of the episode. Alight, I just to say,
Speaker 1: this is why I've made it one of my life's missions.
Speaker 1: To write female masturbation into as many songs as possible
Speaker 1: because we need to normalize it. Women jack off to
Speaker 1: nothing to be ashamed. Yeah, but they like listen, I
Speaker 1: know they do it. Text me, Um, I'll tell you later.
Speaker 1: I just you know, I was helping. It's nothing bad,
Speaker 1: it's nothing bad, it's nothing bad. All right, let's put
Speaker 1: you have nothing. You've got nothing. I'm like honestly trying to.
Speaker 1: I've never masturbated at work that I can recall. I
Speaker 1: remember once. I'm yeah, I don't even have the spot
Speaker 1: when he would take a nap by yourself in the room. God, no,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to enjoy that. It's gonna be rushed.
Speaker 1: I mean, like that's kind of fun though. I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I can't, like I can't masturbate, but just like putting,
Speaker 1: like so my crotch against something. Unfortunately, this is an
Speaker 1: anti slut shaming podcast. But do you guys ever shame
Speaker 1: each other about not being slutty enough? If anything? Now
Speaker 1: we make fun of each other. But I was kind
Speaker 1: of kidding, but it's good to just confirm. Yeah, I'll say,
Speaker 1: like want to lose you never masturated public? Make fun
Speaker 1: of myself. We make kind of ourselves a lot because
Speaker 1: it's like we're not really that interest, I know, and
Speaker 1: we don't know much about sex. We just had a
Speaker 1: debate last night about where the clid is, not where
Speaker 1: the clid is? Where where the where the laby and
Speaker 1: Manora and Majorga and then well that was like the
Speaker 1: list of holes because a lot of the list of
Speaker 1: holes we didn't and also we were like unsure, like
Speaker 1: was just like a paid my number, Like what did
Speaker 1: you up? You know, We're just feeling bad for ourselves
Speaker 1: and how dumb we are as we're like which hole
Speaker 1: hugs the tampon? You know? But that's not technically, the
Speaker 1: vagina is the openings of vagina, the tunnels of service.
Speaker 1: And then because most people were for the whole thing
Speaker 1: as the vagina, it was confirmed inside the vagina. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but like so when your service dilate, you dilate when
Speaker 1: you're pregnant. You're gonna have a baby going to labor.
Speaker 1: Your service has to be so many inches or else
Speaker 1: you gotta douce labor. To touch your service, you have
Speaker 1: to like stick your fingers a way in there. It's
Speaker 1: like not near the front. But the whole thing is
Speaker 1: not the vagina, which is a common misconception. It's just
Speaker 1: the second hole is because because you have the urethra
Speaker 1: and then the vain vagina and then your anus, there's
Speaker 1: three holes and then Yeah. I mean when I was
Speaker 1: a kid, I didn't even know that the P hole
Speaker 1: and the sex whole work different. I think most people
Speaker 1: still don't know that. Well, because we were talking about
Speaker 1: the show Big Mattix and it's like I learned, you
Speaker 1: know more about sex from that like clip than I
Speaker 1: had known my whole. I mean, it's great and it's
Speaker 1: really funny too. Sex education. You can do anything with
Speaker 1: a cartoon, you know. Okay, talk about something that you
Speaker 1: feel confident about in sexual situations. My body, that's great. Confident,
Speaker 1: I mean everything, Yeah, I feel I feel I mean
Speaker 1: sex makes me feel confident. Yeah, it's awesome. I don't
Speaker 1: feel bad. I mean yeah, everything. Yeah. Confident and that
Speaker 1: I'm good at it. Confident in getting naked in front
Speaker 1: of people with the lights on. Yeah, if I'm breaking
Speaker 1: out lights off. But other than that, I'm like, let's
Speaker 1: do it. Great. I'm great that you're here. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: can't even remember you know the left time. I mean,
Speaker 1: I guess you know, those occasional moments when you get
Speaker 1: like a zip on your butt. Oh yeah, maybe that's
Speaker 1: like the most breaking out is the one that makes
Speaker 1: me not cough really the only thing that's so interesting. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we both hate sets. We've had a lot of bad
Speaker 1: experiences with them. I know. I mean as as like
Speaker 1: as as things to be like insecure about insex, go,
Speaker 1: I feel like it's are pretty cool, Like that's pretty
Speaker 1: you're in the clear most you know, if that's the one,
Speaker 1: if that's the thing that I'm insecure about our confident about,
Speaker 1: well yeah, confident, but I also what's your insecurity confident?
Speaker 1: Not to be super heteronormative, but blow jobs like a
Speaker 1: specific thing that you feel super good about. Okay, I
Speaker 1: give a good blow job because but I don't enjoy them. No,
Speaker 1: I just see I really enjoy them. Yeah, it's like, uh,
Speaker 1: it's like assistant. I'm good at it, but it brings
Speaker 1: you no joy. Yeah, insecure about I feel like I
Speaker 1: have a weird like double backflip insecurity. Like the thing
Speaker 1: I'm insecured about insects is that I'm going to get
Speaker 1: insecure and then it's going to ruin the sex. Like
Speaker 1: it's like it's like if exactly. It's like, you know
Speaker 1: what if you start getting self conscious and then you
Speaker 1: can last out like in performing, same deal, you start
Speaker 1: getting self conscious, you can get yourself into a self
Speaker 1: consciousness loop and you can't escape. Oh god, stopping self conscious,
Speaker 1: but that itself is self consciousness also, so like sex,
Speaker 1: performing music, same deal, writing writing music, like creating a
Speaker 1: new thing. I feel like any of those things. If
Speaker 1: you start getting self conscious, you really you take yourself
Speaker 1: out at the moment, and you ruin your ability to
Speaker 1: like engage as like a sensual being. It's true. And
Speaker 1: I can always tell with musicians specifically when they're like
Speaker 1: rocking out on stage, I'm like, oh, you're good in bed.
Speaker 1: You can tell when they're true because you know what
Speaker 1: it is. They let go and they feel it. But yeah,
Speaker 1: security music music is I mean, I think that music
Speaker 1: is really sexy because I like music, but also because
Speaker 1: it's similar. Dancing is like this. There's a lot of
Speaker 1: things where like it's essensual art where in order to
Speaker 1: be good at it you have to like be able
Speaker 1: to be really present in your body and like to
Speaker 1: be present in your body in front of other people.
Speaker 1: That's like another level of things. So like a great
Speaker 1: musician who performs really well on stage, like that's really sexy.
Speaker 1: Let's be honest. God, I gotta be honest. I have
Speaker 1: a no musician's rule. I broke it once and it
Speaker 1: was probably the worst sexual experience any kind. Yeah. No, none,
Speaker 1: not I uh no, it's a it's like a it's a.
Speaker 1: It's partly for to protect myself. I mean as an artist.
Speaker 1: I'm not a musician, but I mean artists are nightmares,
Speaker 1: and I'm really try to enjoy them at all costs.
Speaker 1: I mean, even like that's why I would assume you're
Speaker 1: married to not an artist. That's true. I'm dating even
Speaker 1: for sex. No, especially because like well, I also have
Speaker 1: a thing where like I don't like having sex with
Speaker 1: people who get too much sex whenever they want it.
Speaker 1: And I feel like with male musicians a lot of
Speaker 1: times they're just kind of getting whatever they want whenever
Speaker 1: they want, and so to me, it's more of an
Speaker 1: erotic pleasure to deny them that it's a given to it.
Speaker 1: That's very complex, but that's true. Great, I'm proud of you.
Speaker 1: I have that rule at all. Yeah, because like some
Speaker 1: of the people I wanted to have sex with. The
Speaker 1: most were musicians, but like I knew that, You're like,
Speaker 1: you don't need another hot You're going to be more special.
Speaker 1: Our interaction isn't going to be and it's not going
Speaker 1: to be memorable. And then like if something goes wrong,
Speaker 1: I can't listen to your music anymore, and I like
Speaker 1: kind of value that listening to the music more. That's
Speaker 1: a great point, because that is a real thing. I've
Speaker 1: definitely ruined people's albums for myself. Now. See that's like
Speaker 1: a that's like a really deep fear that I have
Speaker 1: because music, even though we are comedians, like for me,
Speaker 1: like music is everything to me and like it's it's
Speaker 1: the thing that keeps me going when I am not performing.
Speaker 1: So you don't want to reckon. No, so have you
Speaker 1: ruined other people's comedy for yourself by having sex with them? Uh? No,
Speaker 1: I only have sex with people who are terrible at
Speaker 1: it to begin with my boyfriend, he's really good. Um
Speaker 1: he really. I'm not even saying that I would. I wouldn't.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't. I'm so date somebody who wasn't good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm so quest that I wouldn't date someone who wasn't talented.
Speaker 1: It's not hot when someone's not good at I'll whoever
Speaker 1: you have taste. But they weren't really attractive, and yeah,
Speaker 1: that's no problem, just to like put because I just
Speaker 1: feel the need to add some nuance to the musician's discussion,
Speaker 1: like in defense of musicians. Yeah, I really think that,
Speaker 1: Like there's a difference between like a frontman, moody artist
Speaker 1: musician and a sideman. I really recommend side because they're
Speaker 1: very sensual, they're very good, they're great in bed, but
Speaker 1: they're like their job is to support there, they're in
Speaker 1: a supportive role that they're not. They're like, everyone, look
Speaker 1: at me while I tell you everything about me. That's
Speaker 1: what I do. Remember the face we saw, okay, remember
Speaker 1: the band that we saw. Sometimes the guy was just
Speaker 1: like then there's even like further distinctions, Like though, so
Speaker 1: that's a double story. Shut up, And what was his name?
Speaker 1: His name was like, oh my gosh, shout out. I mean,
Speaker 1: he wasn't a mean person. That is really according to
Speaker 1: a rehearsal space, and we're like, okay, he's very attractive,
Speaker 1: and I never feel bad making fun of attractive people.
Speaker 1: So true. My husband has like a running joke because
Speaker 1: one time I was on tour and I slept with
Speaker 1: a guy who had a really funny name like that,
Speaker 1: we'll call him Thrash. It was a lot like Thrash,
Speaker 1: And I was like, so this guy I like, and
Speaker 1: he's like, what's his name? And I'm like, you know,
Speaker 1: it doesn't it doesn't matter. But now, like every time
Speaker 1: I'm like I want to hook up with someone, he's like,
Speaker 1: what's his name? What's his name? Like else anyway, so
Speaker 1: I should start telling him blaze like that. Have you
Speaker 1: ever penetrated someone annally with a penis, dildo or sex toy? Yes?
Speaker 1: Times a thousand so a thousand times. No, but I
Speaker 1: have Sometimes I can't. I can't interpret things when they
Speaker 1: were read to me someone with a penis or sex
Speaker 1: story were stuck something up. Someone's asked, Yeah, no, I
Speaker 1: know that either you've gone probably because we're we like
Speaker 1: these hyper mass You're likely that's the problem because then
Speaker 1: you're like the all the complexities that come along with
Speaker 1: penetrating a man and then going is that okay, I've asked,
Speaker 1: but that's yeah, I mean, of course, because that's right.
Speaker 1: I've noticed like this goes in with the whole like
Speaker 1: being into traditional masculinity things. So I've always been into
Speaker 1: traditional masculinity, but as I get older, I noticed myself,
Speaker 1: excuse me, being more like switchy and less of a
Speaker 1: sub and now I'm more like, I don't know, I
Speaker 1: could see that being really hot or like, like, I
Speaker 1: used to only be into older men and now I'm
Speaker 1: definitely into younger men. There's there's a switch thing, you know.
Speaker 1: When I said that's what's happened with me too, I'm like, oh, yeah, eighteen, yeah,
Speaker 1: so's kind of age. There's like a nineteen year old
Speaker 1: I met when he was interning for a comedy festival
Speaker 1: and I follow on Instagram, sigh, and I'm like tracking
Speaker 1: to see if he like squents up with his girlfriend,
Speaker 1: who was like, I mean probably younger than that. And
Speaker 1: I'm like, you're a sad lady. You're a sad lady.
Speaker 1: He's so put on a knitted cardigan. It's so nice.
Speaker 1: We want to go knit a sweat of for your grandchild.
Speaker 1: We went to a group dinner, I hoop and so
Speaker 1: he was so polite and play for him, well man,
Speaker 1: a little good polite young men. Honestly, there's a place
Speaker 1: in my pussy for him. He was so nice. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think I think it's like the it's like the
Speaker 1: Mrs Robinson thing. It's like I could I could teach
Speaker 1: you a thing or two. Well, I just like that.
Speaker 1: I never I always thought that was so disc I
Speaker 1: was grossing. I was so closed out. I met my
Speaker 1: own age, my whole life, even like honestly, men under thirty,
Speaker 1: my whole life. I was like, what's the point. But now,
Speaker 1: but now I'm like, how are you doing that? You
Speaker 1: be yet? Can you grow a beer? And it's kind
Speaker 1: of like you're not a piece of ship yet. Now
Speaker 1: I could show you how to be a great lover,
Speaker 1: and I feel like it full and consider that and
Speaker 1: I give an orgasm. Honestly, I would just be curious
Speaker 1: to like what are you? What you got? Let's see
Speaker 1: what your skills are and just kind of observed, right,
Speaker 1: and also like what are you into? You don't even
Speaker 1: know yet? No, oh I know, but the same that's possible,
Speaker 1: really yeah, really like a telethone of some kind, because
Speaker 1: you know, you gotta we got to get to the
Speaker 1: young men. How do you stop? We as young men
Speaker 1: have to fun younger men, I mean to make sure
Speaker 1: they know what consentus. It's that is so much more
Speaker 1: active than like hashtag, you know, or a tope. This
Speaker 1: is great. I mean I've solved it. If they can
Speaker 1: sent I'm proud of us. It's done. Patriarchy and you
Speaker 1: gotta funk your wealtriarchy literally the patriarchy. Now. I want
Speaker 1: that shirt now. It's like took on a whole put
Speaker 1: a drawing. Actually like pegging the patriarchy. All right, we
Speaker 1: just copyright right at that guy, so you can't take it.
Speaker 1: There's a lot yeah, wow, given or receiving a snowball.
Speaker 1: Kissing someone when you have you ever kissing someone with
Speaker 1: come in your mouth, I've not done that. I've done that.
Speaker 1: Ye coming your out. It's so funny. And that was
Speaker 1: the actual reason. You're like like, check this out. It's
Speaker 1: gonna be really funny. You want this back. I mean
Speaker 1: it's basically yeah, it's like you know, we I was
Speaker 1: gonna tell men to taste their own come because I
Speaker 1: gotta taste. Yeah, that's true. So I used to give
Speaker 1: BJS my first ever boyfriend in high school, and I
Speaker 1: would have the trash can right by me because I'm
Speaker 1: like almost And you realize as you get older, it's
Speaker 1: in your mouth longer, just fucking swallow it and then
Speaker 1: you don't getta deal with it. Yeah, yeah, because you can.
Speaker 1: You can put the dick farther back in your mouth
Speaker 1: when he's gonna come, and then you don't even you
Speaker 1: don't even know it's there. You can just swallow you
Speaker 1: right away and not even let it really hit your taste,
Speaker 1: because if it comes up this way, it's definitely gonna
Speaker 1: hit your taste buds. Lately, I feel like my gag
Speaker 1: reflexes growing because I feel like I was, you know,
Speaker 1: you ever stuck at digging, but you're like you just
Speaker 1: hearing Yeah, And I'm not even nauseous, so I'm not dropping,
Speaker 1: you know, I just really think you did gonna make
Speaker 1: me barbed? Have you have you ever bared on a dick?
Speaker 1: Ever barfed on a dick? That's a very specific question
Speaker 1: for James said, that's three girls barbed. Shut up, Jane,
Speaker 1: And I was like, is this your your dude? Your yeah,
Speaker 1: penis have a really big dick. I mean, does he
Speaker 1: have a long, skinny dick? Because I feel like that
Speaker 1: would be more No, not at all. Yeah, it's like
Speaker 1: a I mean, to me, a pretty like it's definitely
Speaker 1: above average, but not like huge because I've said no
Speaker 1: to dick's before that we're too big. You said no,
Speaker 1: like I've said, yeah, I'm like, that's like I've been
Speaker 1: in there that I have not had that experience. Just
Speaker 1: big enough in my opinion, because giant, no covern pussy
Speaker 1: can welcome dicks of eddy just not true. Have you
Speaker 1: ever had sex? This is a good this is a
Speaker 1: good question you. Have you ever had sex with someone
Speaker 1: who you thought was stupid? Oh my god, yeah, like
Speaker 1: everybody I know. I don't think everyone's like but one
Speaker 1: of the guys, see now you're outing someone because you've
Speaker 1: only had one three that dudes know. And the guy
Speaker 1: who the guy I'm trying to get a come on
Speaker 1: the podcast wasn't that guy. But I told him to
Speaker 1: his face. I'm like, oh, yeah, he's a model, not
Speaker 1: very bright, but it was kind of sweethout. He's doing fine.
Speaker 1: Yeah he really truly is. It's beautiful. I like maybe
Speaker 1: have a problem because I feel like if I was
Speaker 1: listening to a guy and he was like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: suck a lot of girls that are kind of dumb,
Speaker 1: I'd be like I would feel the same, But like
Speaker 1: I kind of a lot of dudes. What I'll say
Speaker 1: is that it doesn't seem to stop me. If I
Speaker 1: think someone's hot and it's just a one night stand situation,
Speaker 1: it doesn't seem to bother me overly much. If I
Speaker 1: realize at some point during the night that, like they're
Speaker 1: not that bright, okay, nice, it's less traumatic. There's not here.
Speaker 1: You're talking here. It's not to be smart. I have
Speaker 1: plenty of smart people to talk to every day. She
Speaker 1: wants to work, and I really am. The older I get,
Speaker 1: the more I want to suck a younger person, and
Speaker 1: the more I'm like, I don't care if you're brilliant,
Speaker 1: as long as to be as long as you're a
Speaker 1: nice person, as long as you didn't vote for Trump.
Speaker 1: That's where I draw the line. And that's your line,
Speaker 1: and that's okay, you know. I yeah, I like, I like,
Speaker 1: I just like dummies. But I could you like it
Speaker 1: to you if you're I mean, if this sounds terrible,
Speaker 1: but like if you're just using them for sex, which
Speaker 1: like I'll be open. I just I do that sometimes. Okay,
Speaker 1: I've been used for sex, So it's like, and I
Speaker 1: don't think there's anything really wrong with it as long
Speaker 1: as completely in the dark. If everyone's knowing everyone else
Speaker 1: for sex, that's a totally fine arrangement in my opinion.
Speaker 1: That's that's what I was going to say, And I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, no, people are gonna get offended, but
Speaker 1: who cares. Whatever is how it's how I feel like
Speaker 1: a dumb guy, a hot dumb guy that's like the
Speaker 1: perfect funk buddy totally. And then if one's looking for
Speaker 1: a hot sum husband, so I don't feel like that
Speaker 1: person is going to be like wandering there like they'll
Speaker 1: be fine. It's gonna someone else scoop them up. It's
Speaker 1: like there was a thirty about this the sex idiot
Speaker 1: episode you remember that I watched and Okay on Dirty Rock,
Speaker 1: there's a whole episode dedicated to the concept of the
Speaker 1: sex idiot, which is like, you want to have a
Speaker 1: fun buddy who's an idiot. And then I think it's
Speaker 1: like the Alec Baldwin character is dating a sex idiot,
Speaker 1: but he's also dating like a smart woman and then
Speaker 1: she gets a sex idiot and her sex idiot is
Speaker 1: Ryan Lockty the Olympics an idiot, and it's like the
Speaker 1: whole thing. They're like making jokes about like how if
Speaker 1: you lose their attention, you have to like jingle your
Speaker 1: keys over here Ryan a lot, like that's kind of fun.
Speaker 1: That's funny. But then but then why is it when
Speaker 1: I because what you were just saying to when I,
Speaker 1: when I meet a guy's like, I only fun a
Speaker 1: lot of dumb girls, like I would be like, but
Speaker 1: then I also would get understand wanting to suck a
Speaker 1: lot of dumb guys idiots or more smitten with me anyway,
Speaker 1: because it's like I'm like, because it's like when you're
Speaker 1: when you're like kind of smart, it's but then like
Speaker 1: to an idiot, I'm like, I she's like, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: so I'm fine, it maybe all be smart. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: have a very I feel like I very have a
Speaker 1: very high success rate with and I also think you
Speaker 1: are funnier. Your dynamic is probably very enjoyable with an
Speaker 1: idiot and to the idiot because it's not like they're
Speaker 1: not that's kind of a dumb that they can't know,
Speaker 1: but they're not so dumb that you can't sense that,
Speaker 1: right rhynamic, I'm saying, Well, and I get that too,
Speaker 1: Like I feel a little bit like that where it's like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm I'm so impressive to this guy
Speaker 1: because he like it's fun. It's just so easy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't have to think of something actually smart to say.
Speaker 1: I could just use my regular words and carry around
Speaker 1: a book. But that's similar to like we talked about
Speaker 1: having sex with guys that aren't like insanely attractive or
Speaker 1: like an average looking guy. I really enjoy that because
Speaker 1: everyone cannot be everything to all people. Okay, your strengths
Speaker 1: not a federal case. Yeah yeah, well, and also there's
Speaker 1: the so back to the like if a guy says
Speaker 1: I like fucking dumb girls, it's that is super shitty
Speaker 1: because of the patriarchy, and like calling guys dumb doesn't
Speaker 1: have like a whole history of like ruining people's lives
Speaker 1: and taking where their livelihoods. The calling women call them
Speaker 1: done every day, and they'll still get the job. Yeah exactly, whatever,
Speaker 1: they'll be. Okay, say it's not nice, you know, actually dumb,
Speaker 1: you can do I mean, you can just do something
Speaker 1: about it. Some people are street smart and not like,
Speaker 1: you know, math smart. I am one of those, Like
Speaker 1: I'm very street smart, but I'm not I'm kind of dumb.
Speaker 1: When it comes to some ship, they both have their value.
Speaker 1: I'm emotionally intelligent. Yeah, I don't know. I think I
Speaker 1: cover this in the book. Also, it's like, I mean, yes,
Speaker 1: it's not like it's it's not good to uh when
Speaker 1: when guys say things like they don't want difficult to women.
Speaker 1: That's what it was about. I was writing this thing
Speaker 1: on difficult women because where wonder where I got that
Speaker 1: idea from the mirror. And I was like, and I
Speaker 1: so I found this whole kind of thing about you
Speaker 1: know how men don't like difficult women. And I was like,
Speaker 1: I didn't find the passage to be offensive because I
Speaker 1: get it because it's like if you have a quote
Speaker 1: unquote easier option, like most people don't want to challenge.
Speaker 1: That's why most people will kind of be like average
Speaker 1: level successful and like even doing something like going out
Speaker 1: and being a touring musician or being a comedian, like
Speaker 1: those are like works that you're taking to begin with.
Speaker 1: So I think we're just people who are perhaps more
Speaker 1: intoxicated by a challenge. But like I can totally get
Speaker 1: put not being that kind of person totally. I don't
Speaker 1: really fault them. So I was just like, so my
Speaker 1: my my basics. The point of the statement was like, oh, well,
Speaker 1: we all have to be difficult women so that there
Speaker 1: aren't these little crannies that people can get into where
Speaker 1: they still get sex anyway. Well, I'm doing my part. Yeah,
Speaker 1: being difficult perfect. I don't know. I used to relate
Speaker 1: to that a lot. I'm difficult in the way now
Speaker 1: that I think is not. Maybe what you're talking about.
Speaker 1: The way I'm difficult now is I'm super ambitious, and
Speaker 1: I'm super independent, and I've gone all the time and
Speaker 1: I'm very extremely opinionated about all things in life. I
Speaker 1: used to be more emotionally difficult, and I feel like
Speaker 1: I've grown out of that a little bit. Not to
Speaker 1: like shame people who are emotionally difficult, but I think
Speaker 1: it's part of the natural process of age, is like
Speaker 1: you let go of some of your sensitivities. Maybe, so
Speaker 1: I used to be more like a little more drama queen,
Speaker 1: and now I'm more like pretty low drama but very
Speaker 1: high Like I'm always busy. I'm always doing a lot
Speaker 1: of projects. I need like a lot of freaking creative
Speaker 1: space to do my projects. Yeah. See, that's some people
Speaker 1: think of that as difficult. But I guess it depends true,
Speaker 1: Like that might be difficult to some men, and then
Speaker 1: other men, I'm like there they might be like, oh,
Speaker 1: dream come true. But like that's why I'm so excited
Speaker 1: to get older, because I'm like, I get hornier and calmer. Right,
Speaker 1: sounds great. So I'm way less difficult around sex too,
Speaker 1: Like I used to be much more like, oh, one
Speaker 1: night stands, that's sort of an interesting idea, and I'm intrigued,
Speaker 1: but like, really, my feelings actually get hurt a lot,
Speaker 1: and now I don't have that problem. Okay, so now
Speaker 1: your feelings don'tet hurt with them. No, But when I
Speaker 1: was younger, it was more like sex was much more
Speaker 1: linked to emotions, and so I felt like it was
Speaker 1: more likely for me to have like an outsized reaction
Speaker 1: to like, see, I'm one not returning my text or
Speaker 1: like saying something that was maybe could be interpreted as
Speaker 1: mean or as not totally you know. I used to
Speaker 1: have with intense reactions to people if they didn't text
Speaker 1: me back or whatever, because I thought I had to.
Speaker 1: And I got older and I realized, oh, you can
Speaker 1: actually go with the I don't really care because you
Speaker 1: actually maybe yeah, because like, I remember this one guy
Speaker 1: dumped me that I wasn't even dating. I was weird,
Speaker 1: just fun buddies. I really wanted to date him, and
Speaker 1: I like cried, But then I'm like, I'm not really
Speaker 1: that sad about it, but I feel like I should cry.
Speaker 1: It was really hot. And then but then I'm worth
Speaker 1: one tier. I had like three tears, two tears to manage.
Speaker 1: That's a really interesting take on like the way women
Speaker 1: are socialized and how we react to it, like very
Speaker 1: like we're manipulated easily, like because I'm very naive and
Speaker 1: that I have had a lot of reactions throught my life.
Speaker 1: I talked about this once on the podcast. We had
Speaker 1: an exercise. We're in fourth grade, and we had to
Speaker 1: write down our weight, and I will like covered it
Speaker 1: up and didn't let anybody see because that's how I
Speaker 1: see you the women react. And I was like, so
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to be embarrassed about this, so I'm of it.
Speaker 1: Conceal it so stupid. But so you feel like having
Speaker 1: big emotional reactions to romance and sex was sort of socialized,
Speaker 1: like that was you learned that from Disney or whatever,
Speaker 1: and then at some point you're like wait a minute.
Speaker 1: You know what, A guy doesn't have to lock up
Speaker 1: your father and then hits you around a couple of
Speaker 1: times in order to fall in love with him. You know, uh,
Speaker 1: the things we learned. Have you ever lied, withheld, or
Speaker 1: distorted information to encourage someone to have sex with you?
Speaker 1: Mm hmm probably it's I wrote the question, so I've
Speaker 1: like answered them all a lot of times, but I
Speaker 1: still don't really know, like I think I have in
Speaker 1: a really like abstract way, like I'm sure I've withheld
Speaker 1: lots of information, like I don't meet someone I want
Speaker 1: to bang and be like, okay, so here's the top
Speaker 1: ten things you should know about me. I'd like it
Speaker 1: very cool, which is kind of a lie. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a good one actually, Like you're not immediately like, listen,
Speaker 1: you're really hot. I would like us to have sex,
Speaker 1: but only if the following things happened and these things
Speaker 1: don't happen. How do you feel about that? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I haven't tried to have sex with somebody in so
Speaker 1: long like a guy. That's not how I interpreted that question.
Speaker 1: I interpreted more like serious things like not telling someone
Speaker 1: like you have an STD or husband, or that you
Speaker 1: have a get kid or something like that. I mean,
Speaker 1: I've you know, everyone I have sex with. I don't
Speaker 1: tell everything about myself, Like my fucking boyfriend wouldn't know everything. Well,
Speaker 1: I guess if you've withheld something that you know, if
Speaker 1: they knew, they wouldn't want to suck, you know, because
Speaker 1: I only I only people I know. And then the
Speaker 1: one person who I had a one night stand with,
Speaker 1: I told him that I had had sex the day before,
Speaker 1: like while he was inside me, so that I was
Speaker 1: perhaps too honest when he got kicked off the dick. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then I got kicked off his dick. Everyone knows
Speaker 1: the story, but I'm telling you literally physically kicked off. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I removed myself because I don't Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't like people touching me. Um extra, but yeah, he didn't.
Speaker 1: He wanted he wanted me to remove myself from that penis.
Speaker 1: Mad kindly remove y'all self from my asked me when
Speaker 1: the last time I had sex wasn't I answered, on
Speaker 1: he's honestly, like ten minutes ago. I mean it was, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it was it was the day before. I
Speaker 1: didn't think that was crazy, it's yeah, I mean I
Speaker 1: don't feel bad, I don't feel bad about it, and
Speaker 1: then don't feel bad about I felt worse that I
Speaker 1: had to pay for a cab from Tribeca to Harlem.
Speaker 1: That's what I felt the worst about. That was a
Speaker 1: very long that's like a fucking sixty dollar. I've never
Speaker 1: been injured during sex. I don't, uh not really maybe
Speaker 1: like bruises. I've gotten some pretty heinous r trips. No,
Speaker 1: no broken bones. No, yeah it was cut. Maybe it
Speaker 1: just explode And then I was annually bleeding for two longs.
Speaker 1: So for me, none regression. Oh have you ever had
Speaker 1: sex with the romantic partner of a close friend? Yeah? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: one of my first, like maybe the I think the
Speaker 1: third guy I ever had sex with was my best
Speaker 1: friend at the time, her husband. So many questions. So
Speaker 1: I was sixteen, I moved home home at sixteen. She
Speaker 1: was two, Okay, So I moved away from home pretty young.
Speaker 1: It was sixteen, moved out, moved in with all these
Speaker 1: like artists who were living in a household together Eugene.
Speaker 1: It wasn't an orgy house, although over the course of
Speaker 1: the time we lived together, everybody pretty much had sex
Speaker 1: with everybody else. Probably anyway, was living in Eugene, Oregon,
Speaker 1: was in a band with this wonderful friend. She's still
Speaker 1: one of my best friends, and they like it was
Speaker 1: this whole thing where like she got a crush on
Speaker 1: someone else in the band, Story of my life. She
Speaker 1: got a crush on somebody in the band, and was like,
Speaker 1: we've been talking about opening our relationships, so this is
Speaker 1: a good opportunity, So like you should suck my guy husband.
Speaker 1: So if I fun somebody, he's not gonna feel bad.
Speaker 1: And I was like at the time, like when you know,
Speaker 1: I didn't really understand these things yet, and so I
Speaker 1: was like, okay, it sounds great, like your husband. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was sixteen, and so we did we like started
Speaker 1: having sex, but then of course there was like various
Speaker 1: kinds of drama related to it, but afterwards or during
Speaker 1: the sex, well not during the sex. We had sex
Speaker 1: only like I don't know, five times or something, so
Speaker 1: it was like interspersed there were some bursts of drama,
Speaker 1: and then eventually it was like we should probably stop
Speaker 1: doing this since we all live in the same house
Speaker 1: and that's my best friend and I'm sixteen, like smart
Speaker 1: smart things about that are fucked up. But at the
Speaker 1: time it's all just like, yeah, great, do you ever
Speaker 1: when you're stating someone get a crush on their friends?
Speaker 1: That happens to me every boyfriend, not a crush that.
Speaker 1: I'm like, seriously, kids on your tiny crush. I can't
Speaker 1: stop thinking about them, but like a yeah, yeah, sure, sure,
Speaker 1: i'd fu Yeah, well guys, especially like BROI guys. They
Speaker 1: have this whole thing about like no homo. But if
Speaker 1: my best friend wanted to my girlfriend, we could have
Speaker 1: we could high five what's that called Eiffel Tower or whatever.
Speaker 1: I feel like there's like a cultural thing about that,
Speaker 1: like if you're into your dude's best friend, maybe it
Speaker 1: would happen. So really, I mean yeah, maybe talk about
Speaker 1: something sexual that you'd like to try about having yet
Speaker 1: oh blood play that's easy for me. Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: this is this is again I talked about that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's not the pain. I just am so nervous about um,
Speaker 1: like like medical hygiene and things like that. That's why
Speaker 1: you haven't tried it. Yeah, you could get trained. We
Speaker 1: can have like to somebody's dungeon where they have like
Speaker 1: sterilized you see. That's I can't do that. I don't
Speaker 1: want you want to squirt James's blood all over you
Speaker 1: or him or what like on the wall. I want
Speaker 1: to squirre down like lick it. But yeah, and then
Speaker 1: the problem with me is I don't really lot like,
Speaker 1: I don't care if this offendse people because it's just
Speaker 1: my personal But I don't like like the sex community.
Speaker 1: It's not for me. It's too like, let I'll be
Speaker 1: friends and let's like No, that's like the complete antithesis
Speaker 1: of my personality. I don't get it. I mean, I
Speaker 1: will say our communities that aren't like that, but it's
Speaker 1: very few and far between. Yeah, I've been like sex
Speaker 1: parties and honestly they were fine, but they I think
Speaker 1: they were more like not really, they weren't like sex
Speaker 1: community parties. They were more like curious people in New
Speaker 1: York parties and that was okay with me. Um, once
Speaker 1: you get into the hard scenes in any scene, it's
Speaker 1: going to be weird. Yeah, I don't. Yeah, it's I
Speaker 1: don't like I have a I'm very uncomfortable with an
Speaker 1: intense level of familiarity, but I don't feel was earned. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't like that. I like I have a wall up,
Speaker 1: but it's not because there's say anything wrong. I think
Speaker 1: that's normal. Yeah, like just like a little distance like friends. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and my friends that I don't have a wall up with,
Speaker 1: like my best friends, Like we're have a very deep connection,
Speaker 1: so very limited access kind of a thing. No, I
Speaker 1: feel similar, Have you done it? What's something you? Oh?
Speaker 1: I like to try but haven't yet. I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: with the like Mrs Robinson younger man scenario, I have
Speaker 1: slept with younger men, but not like a lot of Yeah,
Speaker 1: not like I think I'm not old enough to sleep
Speaker 1: with somebody much younger in this scenario, I'm like waiting
Speaker 1: for when I age into like proper cougar zone and
Speaker 1: I'm going to be excited about that. Yeah, that sounds fine.
Speaker 1: Mine is I want to have a gang bang. Okay.
Speaker 1: Have you ever had sex in a family members? Um? Yes,
Speaker 1: which one my dad's that's pretty gross? Wow, But you know,
Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like I don't know if I
Speaker 1: don't recall if if I was doing it, it wasn't.
Speaker 1: I didn't think about it in the moment because family,
Speaker 1: like Green you said, it's a lot family takes me
Speaker 1: out of it. I had my nephew on the there
Speaker 1: was like the ballpaper on my phone forever, like adorable
Speaker 1: picture of him. But I loot born on my phone.
Speaker 1: I'm like dad, so I removed that life. I had
Speaker 1: sex on my brother's couch in his apartment, but he
Speaker 1: was not there. He was with his girlfriend and had
Speaker 1: given me and my boyfriend access to his apartment. And
Speaker 1: I took the pillows off the couch and like sat
Speaker 1: on some kind of a blanket, like I really did
Speaker 1: everything to not touch his things, both for his sake
Speaker 1: and my sake. Yea that sex in a friend's faunt. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's fine. Have you ever indulged your partner in a
Speaker 1: sex act that didn't turn you on? I do that
Speaker 1: a lot. I like that. It's called being a good lover. Yeah,
Speaker 1: turned me on? I mean, oh yeah, like blow jobs
Speaker 1: every time? Uh? Sex? Oh? Have you ever had sex
Speaker 1: while you or your partner was wearing a costume as
Speaker 1: the last one day? Yes? Which costumes? I mean Wonder Woman, Elf?
Speaker 1: Wait once half, because that was two very different swearing
Speaker 1: the Elf costume and what was me and cost I
Speaker 1: don't want to have sex with the dude costume. I
Speaker 1: was like, you suck a dude in elf costumes? Because
Speaker 1: not a sound on brand for you know, it was
Speaker 1: like Christmas season. I mean I think I was. I
Speaker 1: was working at an elf at Macy santl. The Macy
Speaker 1: Santa Land Elf customes are not hot though, But then
Speaker 1: so my boyfriend at the time got me a hot
Speaker 1: elf costume. It's like, this doesn't make my bone or pop.
Speaker 1: It was like a little fair elf like. It wasn't
Speaker 1: a common request too, because actually, on like one of
Speaker 1: the first days in training at Macy's, they were like,
Speaker 1: and don't even ask. You can't no matter who asked you.
Speaker 1: If your boyfriend asks you, you can't bring this home.
Speaker 1: You gotta leave your costume in your locker. Yes, your
Speaker 1: wife might ask you to wear the elf costume while
Speaker 1: you bent over the bed, but like you could tell.
Speaker 1: Like the guy was like so he probably at Macy's
Speaker 1: for like twenty years, and he was like so over
Speaker 1: people trying to sucking the elf. It was just like,
Speaker 1: you cannot fucking the elf costume. There's no every nice
Speaker 1: in the elf cut the elf costumes that macy is
Speaker 1: like because you share them with other elves and they're
Speaker 1: between but they're basically like huge scrubs. One size fits all, yeah,
Speaker 1: like they're scrub scrub like pants and so that they
Speaker 1: would fit a really really varied range of sizes. What
Speaker 1: about you, Carcy costumes, I mean flapper, it's pretty cool
Speaker 1: that would I also have had sex in a random
Speaker 1: Marty grous costume, like I live in New Orleans, which
Speaker 1: is like it was just like you have reason to
Speaker 1: be in costume, like literally at least months throughout the world,
Speaker 1: I mean throughout the world throughout the year, so like
Speaker 1: at least once months, you have to have like at
Speaker 1: least twelve different costumes available to you at all times
Speaker 1: in case of like an emergency costume party to like
Speaker 1: I have a lot of just like funny tights and
Speaker 1: like to to years and so I just remembered nice, Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of ones I love. I love cousin.
Speaker 1: The only thing is do you ever find when you're
Speaker 1: having sex with a wig on, you're like, you don't
Speaker 1: You're not getting enough airflow, and then you just I
Speaker 1: was I almost passed that one time because it was
Speaker 1: that blue wig that she has with the bow in it,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I'm not getting enough ventulation up here,
Speaker 1: so I gotta take this off before I die the
Speaker 1: perils of such wigs like my it's like my own
Speaker 1: auto erotic as biskit Carcy. So where can we There
Speaker 1: is a kickstarter for this very game that ends tomorrow
Speaker 1: after this interview is will be airring today and tomorrow.
Speaker 1: How do we Burry don't dally go to get a
Speaker 1: time machine? Yes, go to the f ing truth dot
Speaker 1: com which is th E f I n G t
Speaker 1: rut th truth. And then where can we find you?
Speaker 1: Where can we find your music? Where can we follow you?
Speaker 1: What gives do you want to promote? Yeah, well, I'm
Speaker 1: Carcy Blanton. Carcy bland dot com is my website. Your
Speaker 1: music is wonderful, it's lovely and elevates my mood, and
Speaker 1: you're really really thank you. My boyfriend is the snobbiest
Speaker 1: motherfucker on the goddamn planet when it comes to music,
Speaker 1: because he worked at the record label. He's like, who's that?
Speaker 1: Is that the going we're interviewing and it's really good?
Speaker 1: So you want an Emmy basically or yeah you're But
Speaker 1: also side note for the listeners, like everybody knows, I
Speaker 1: mean the real we have to thank Dan Byrne for
Speaker 1: this all coming together because everyone knows with my very long,
Speaker 1: very on record obsession with Dan Byrne, and so you know,
Speaker 1: since Dan and I are a besties now, he messaged
Speaker 1: me and he was just like, UM, can I give
Speaker 1: my manager you're I don't he doesn't talk like that,
Speaker 1: um correct to ask you a question? And I was like,
Speaker 1: I mean, obviously, like like dan Burn has a high,
Speaker 1: higher like like level of like me getting to say
Speaker 1: yes to something. Then like my mom, Like if dan
Speaker 1: Burn and my mom bosted like, can you help me
Speaker 1: move on the same day, I'd be like, mom needs to.
Speaker 1: I don't think he has anyone that can help him.
Speaker 1: But then also my mom would be like, oh that's fine, yeah,
Speaker 1: because she also where can we find your music? So
Speaker 1: Carci dot com is my website. I'm gonna go ahead
Speaker 1: and recommend a music video of mine called Them and
Speaker 1: Vigor because I think that's like really the alley of
Speaker 1: your listeners. No, that's the one that's me in a
Speaker 1: mansion full of like half naked men. So I like
Speaker 1: I got to film that in like a literal sex
Speaker 1: mansion in New Orleans with a bunch of boylesque dancers.
Speaker 1: So they're a bunch of like super ripped hot dudes,
Speaker 1: and they're like the video is all just like me singing. Well,
Speaker 1: dudes like serve me cake and like carry me around.
Speaker 1: This is it's my heaven too. You should come visit
Speaker 1: this is Yeah, that that's great. Where do we find
Speaker 1: that on your website? You can find on my website
Speaker 1: cars dot com. The video's vim and vigor. You can
Speaker 1: search for it on YouTube and you can get your
Speaker 1: music on iTunes on Spotify. Yeah. Well, and actually my
Speaker 1: website so I do pay what you please for all
Speaker 1: of my music. So the music page of my website,
Speaker 1: you can stream everything for free and then if you
Speaker 1: want to download it, you can download in any format
Speaker 1: for any price you want. That's so cool because I
Speaker 1: just really want I want people to have it their music.
Speaker 1: I want to share it, and it's like what will
Speaker 1: also comfortable pay? Yeah? Well, and also I don't know
Speaker 1: if you know about this, but like when spot when
Speaker 1: you stream something on Spotify, the artist he gets like
Speaker 1: not even close to an eighth of a penny. Takes
Speaker 1: like a million Spotify streams to make like two dollars.
Speaker 1: It's really really crazy. So like Cardi Beach, So it's fine. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So It's fine to listen to stup on Spotify, but
Speaker 1: if that artist you know that they're not already a millionaire,
Speaker 1: you should, like go buy something of your website. I
Speaker 1: always yeah, any artists that I like, I'm like Beyonce,
Speaker 1: I will always buy her albums on iTunes. I'll give
Speaker 1: a funk. I'll buy everything if you know this. But
Speaker 1: Beyonce has a lot of matter I know, I like,
Speaker 1: I like where your head is at. But like there's
Speaker 1: certain artists where I'm I want to buy their album
Speaker 1: I don't. She does have a lot of money, but
Speaker 1: she can't have all my money. No, I hear you same. Yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, thank you very much, thank you very fine.
Speaker 1: Thanks for look you can do it. I like the game.
Speaker 1: It was great. Yeah, this is true. You fucked the
Speaker 1: anti slit shaming podcast. We'll talk to you next Friday.
Speaker 1: I'm in love with you, but it's all right. I
Speaker 1: fall in lovely every night and it feels in my
Speaker 1: until I can't keep it in. So I hope you
Speaker 1: don't mind if I say it again. I'm in love
Speaker 1: with you, but it's okay. I fall in love every day.
Speaker 1: I'm suposion bed down my stream and with every good
Speaker 1: poet I have made. Because loving is easy. It's taking
Speaker 1: a broad I do what ill day to the day
Speaker 1: of my death. I don't want to own you. You
Speaker 1: don't have to stay just as long as I have
Speaker 1: known you that I wanted to say, I'm in love
Speaker 1: with you? Is that a sin? Just look at the state,
Speaker 1: But you got me. When I think of your hand,
Speaker 1: of your eyes, of your time, I get suddenly foolish
Speaker 1: and I'm with you because I'm in love with you, honey.
Speaker 1: But don't be afraid. I felt in love with the
Speaker 1: love that we made. But it's none of my big business. Lovely,
Speaker 1: you don't have tune. I'm getting a free because love
Speaker 1: is easy, taking a bread. I do it out day
Speaker 1: till the day on my dead. I don't want to.
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