Speaker 1: Welcome to Guys We Fucked Guys We Guys Book. I'm Christina,
Speaker 1: I'm Kren're sorry about last night the anti sluck shaming podcast.
Speaker 1: I never stopped. Hey everybody, welcome to another episode of
Speaker 1: Guys We Book. It's the anti slust shaming podcast. I'm Karren,
Speaker 1: I'm Christina. I got titties. Do you as well? Well,
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Speaker 1: Come see us live Los Angeles, California on Sunday, November
Speaker 1: nine at eight thirty pm. We're going to be in
Speaker 1: the main room at the Comedy Store for our standalone show,
Speaker 1: The Book Mits, fating the release of our book that
Speaker 1: is available in stores and online now called fucked being
Speaker 1: sexually explorative and self confident in a world that's screwed.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much to everyone who has bought the
Speaker 1: book so far. Our numbers are outstanding. I mean we
Speaker 1: still didn't we didn't make the New York Times bestseller
Speaker 1: list yet, but technically, wait, we still can. Tech we can,
Speaker 1: but I mean we would have to sell like, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, like eight thousand copies in one All right,
Speaker 1: what then you doing? Guys? Get off your computers now
Speaker 1: I'm just getting But it's like, you know, the people
Speaker 1: who are beating us are people like Hillary Clinton, So
Speaker 1: it's not really it's an honor. I didn't know there
Speaker 1: were only five books on that fucking list for each category.
Speaker 1: I can't even believe we were considered. That's huge. Well
Speaker 1: we broke we broke our goal by over a thousand
Speaker 1: books of what we were looking to sell, so thank you.
Speaker 1: You guys have been awesome with posting pictures of it
Speaker 1: and telling friends about it, and like, keep doing that
Speaker 1: because they mean, the main thing is it's cool to
Speaker 1: get on list, but I think it's more important that
Speaker 1: we wrote a book that we're really proud of sharing. Agreed,
Speaker 1: So thank you for that, and thank you so much
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Speaker 1: Uh boy? Did you have anything personal you wanted to
Speaker 1: talk about? Um? I watched I was black, I was
Speaker 1: hashtag blast to watch Alfred and I love him so much.
Speaker 1: It didn't make me realize I don't want a dog
Speaker 1: because I don't want to think of anyone or anything
Speaker 1: before myself. I was gonna say I don't. I was like,
Speaker 1: I was like, it's I think it's best to do.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm super happy I got the dog. It
Speaker 1: was the right just for me. But also I mean,
Speaker 1: I've you know, I've had dogs my whole life. So
Speaker 1: I think it's different. And also I'm a little bit
Speaker 1: older than you, and I think and so I think
Speaker 1: right now, it's just kind of like different. I don't
Speaker 1: live with a boyfriend. It's really helped it help with
Speaker 1: my depression a lot. Uh. The one thing that I
Speaker 1: did notice was I started having an anxiety attack while
Speaker 1: while he was here, and he like jumped on my
Speaker 1: lap and it calmed me down. And I do understand.
Speaker 1: I used to call bullshit on the whole. Oh it's
Speaker 1: a service dog because it helps with your anxiety. Oh
Speaker 1: it's adorable. No, for real, I'm so much less depressed
Speaker 1: now that I have Alfred. And it's also like because
Speaker 1: it takes away, like you know, it's like sometimes be like, oh,
Speaker 1: why do I even need to wake up in the
Speaker 1: Morning's like, well, you have to just for these very
Speaker 1: small things like you have to feed your dog, you
Speaker 1: have to watch I was very like, you warned me
Speaker 1: that Alfred was gonna wake me up earlier than I
Speaker 1: wanted to be woken up, and I knew that, but
Speaker 1: I was really happy to get up and take him outside. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because it got me outside. He's the best. He's very sweet.
Speaker 1: Try to have set just to see because we were
Speaker 1: like do we want this dog life or not? So
Speaker 1: we tried. We're like, he's going to just sleep at
Speaker 1: the floor at the foot of the bed, and then nope,
Speaker 1: that didn't happen. He slept with us, and then he
Speaker 1: just kept climbing on Stephen and we kept jetly putting
Speaker 1: him down on the floor and then he would sit
Speaker 1: there and stare at us before eventually coming and climbing
Speaker 1: back on Stephen. And I put him in the bathroom upstairs,
Speaker 1: and I like put a blanket out. I really made
Speaker 1: it nice for him, and he was so upset and
Speaker 1: I just couldn't. Yeah, I definitely hear him cry. I
Speaker 1: couldn't fuck and hear a dog cry. It definitely is
Speaker 1: like dog life. When I say, like, you know, James
Speaker 1: and I our whole life and we're not married and
Speaker 1: we don't live together is like a hundred percent like
Speaker 1: revolves around out not thinking about Alfred first. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's really bond us, like we've really learned how to
Speaker 1: co parent. Great. Yeah, I'm sure it's a great. It's
Speaker 1: a great experience to have, but yeah, I do really
Speaker 1: want to real quick. I know we're kind of rushing
Speaker 1: mostly for me. Um, but I want to read this
Speaker 1: one email just because I don't don't. I don't want
Speaker 1: to like not give people content just because I'm having
Speaker 1: a nervous breakdown. That's not on you, and that's I
Speaker 1: wish everybody would of by that rule. You guys, Are
Speaker 1: you guys stopping selfish? You guys have been here the
Speaker 1: whole time. This is just I real this really an
Speaker 1: email really resonated with me this week. UM. And the
Speaker 1: subject line is I have amazing tits along with a
Speaker 1: horrible picking habit will go about past the part where
Speaker 1: we're great. I'm emailing you guys because of a really
Speaker 1: bad habit that I have that can directly affect my
Speaker 1: sex life in a negative way. So you know those
Speaker 1: tiny little blackheads or pimples around your nipples, Well, yes,
Speaker 1: I pick incessantly at them. I used to do it sporadically,
Speaker 1: but now I do it every day, sometimes more than
Speaker 1: once a day. This results in red dots and little
Speaker 1: scabs from picking all around my nipples. And before writing
Speaker 1: this email, when I looked in the mirror with my
Speaker 1: tits out, I realized I used to look at them
Speaker 1: give them a love squeeze and be like, yes, amazing,
Speaker 1: my boobs are great. Everyone loves them. Guys love them,
Speaker 1: my friends love them. I want to wet t shirt
Speaker 1: contests this summer at a festival ha ha. And that
Speaker 1: totally gave me an extra boost in my titty confidence.
Speaker 1: When I started college, they got too cup size is
Speaker 1: bigger due to the freshman fifteen. Most of that fifteen
Speaker 1: was actually thirty and a half of it went to
Speaker 1: my boobs. I got really insecure about the weight I gained,
Speaker 1: especially in my boobs. So I feel you, Christina. But
Speaker 1: I got a lot of dudes because they love my
Speaker 1: big old titties and my personality. I guess. But since
Speaker 1: I started sleeping around more, I started to feel like
Speaker 1: a slut. But then I grew more confident and comfortable
Speaker 1: with my body and my boobies, and then learned how
Speaker 1: to defend slut shaming. Finally I heard your podcast. Now
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm on top and I'm in a
Speaker 1: really good place in life. But when I'm stressed a
Speaker 1: ka every day I'm a twenty two year old university student.
Speaker 1: I pick, I pick up my nipples, I pick up
Speaker 1: my face. I fucking pick so much. It's really bad.
Speaker 1: My mom always said stop picking. She would smack my
Speaker 1: hand and say it makes it worse. She's right, and
Speaker 1: I know it, but it's honestly just one of those
Speaker 1: habits I can't break. I pick, and it reallyeves stress.
Speaker 1: You know those people that watch pimple popping videos. I
Speaker 1: can't do that. It's too gross for me, so I
Speaker 1: have to do it in real life. I've heard it's
Speaker 1: really bad to pick at the ones around your nipples,
Speaker 1: so I was wondering if you guys, so that's the
Speaker 1: ones I went for first, also have those many impurities
Speaker 1: around your nipples, And if it's bad to pick at those,
Speaker 1: what are the consequences? How do I stop? I want
Speaker 1: to stop because I don't want guys to look at
Speaker 1: my tits in a shirt before the bedroom, get excited
Speaker 1: to rip my shirt off, but then are disgusted by
Speaker 1: what looks like scabby chicken pox around my nipples, ruining
Speaker 1: the image of my great tits. I know most people
Speaker 1: don't care enough to notice in the heat of the moment,
Speaker 1: but no one wants to suck a scabby titty. You know,
Speaker 1: maybe they do, so please help any advice I appreciate,
Speaker 1: and so do the twins. I love you guys. Never
Speaker 1: stopped the podcast big Boobs girl baby, Um, but that matters.
Speaker 1: It does not matter beautifully inside as well. Oh sorry,
Speaker 1: Jones wants to well, when you introduced me to the
Speaker 1: tool that you can get at CBS, you can like
Speaker 1: push blackheads out. I started getting obsessed with that and
Speaker 1: I was like, bhoop, got to distract myself and now
Speaker 1: I scratch a lot of tickets. Yeah. No, the lancet
Speaker 1: isn't what I mean amazing, But I love this. Number one.
Speaker 1: The reason you should want to stop picking at your titties.
Speaker 1: It's not because of guys are going to judge you
Speaker 1: because it's I should be on a fucking bumper stick
Speaker 1: or corin. It's because it's because you're harming yourself physically. No,
Speaker 1: I love this because I'm guessing it has to do
Speaker 1: with my O C D. But like, I will get
Speaker 1: obsessed with picking, and I know I have chile who
Speaker 1: do get picking, especially like with zits on your face.
Speaker 1: Like I would almost be heartbroken if I never had zits,
Speaker 1: because then I wouldn't have something to pick at. And
Speaker 1: that's like it's like a stress relief. Like the other day,
Speaker 1: I was in hotel room and I was like picking
Speaker 1: up my face and I and James came in and
Speaker 1: I was like, James, could you just let me pick
Speaker 1: out my face? So yeah, you gotta pick let me
Speaker 1: do this, Like I know it's gross and it's disgusting,
Speaker 1: but like it's very cathartic, it's very cathartic um. And
Speaker 1: then it's you time. The nipple in the chess area
Speaker 1: is actually the worst to do it. It does for
Speaker 1: some reason. It's scars. I haven't that before. It only
Speaker 1: because I'm like, that's one whenever I had chest acting.
Speaker 1: That's one area I will not pick out because it
Speaker 1: makes it so much worse. And to answer your question, yes,
Speaker 1: I think most girls I know have zits or like nipples,
Speaker 1: you girl, every human. I don't feel bad about that.
Speaker 1: It's weird. Is there One day you wake up and
Speaker 1: there's a long ass hair in your boob and you're like,
Speaker 1: what the uck? Yeah, pluck that, don't shave that. That's
Speaker 1: but doesn't It doesn't take time to grow in. It's
Speaker 1: not like a budding rose. It's magic. But it's literally
Speaker 1: one day it's not there and then one day you
Speaker 1: got a beard on your tit and you're like, what
Speaker 1: the fuck is this? Jokes on me all the time? Apparently, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean so it sounds like you're getting a little
Speaker 1: obsessive with it. So I would definitely uh look into
Speaker 1: um like O C D and like tactics to do it,
Speaker 1: because it says I looked it up just really quickly,
Speaker 1: and it says picking and doing self surgery is bad.
Speaker 1: It can leave marks and scars and can even be
Speaker 1: on the O c D spectrum, which is an anxiety disorder,
Speaker 1: which I totally, uh totally agree with. Absolutely. You can
Speaker 1: cause an infection and you can actually make the pimples worse.
Speaker 1: That's all true because because you're the bacteria on your fingernail,
Speaker 1: your hands aren't clean, You're you're pushing bacteria further into
Speaker 1: your skin. I mean when you're using a lancet, like
Speaker 1: I'm doing it in a way that I learned, but
Speaker 1: I'm actually improving my skin when I'm doing it with
Speaker 1: you teach a lancet, but that's because I know how
Speaker 1: to do. One time, I did it to my nose
Speaker 1: so bad like the blackheads, and I woke up it
Speaker 1: it felt like I had a rock under my like
Speaker 1: I fucked I fucked up. I did it too hard, sure,
Speaker 1: and I was like, yeah, I gotta stop, Christina, you
Speaker 1: feel out of control. In high school, I certainly picked
Speaker 1: up my face in a way that was not SPA
Speaker 1: level picking. But I did not know. And uh my,
Speaker 1: I remember, like my mother even came out like it
Speaker 1: was before school. I used used to do it, and
Speaker 1: she came out and talk. She's like, you have to
Speaker 1: stop picking out your face because it's like you're destroying
Speaker 1: your skin. My mom used to tell me that all
Speaker 1: the time. Yeah, I mean there's no there's no real
Speaker 1: like tip or trick. But one my my, it signaled
Speaker 1: me because I'm like, it's definitely on the O c
Speaker 1: D spectrum and you're using it to ease your anxiety.
Speaker 1: You have to use something to replace that. All can't stop. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if you can't stop, you actually probably should see someone
Speaker 1: about that, because you got there. You can do therapy
Speaker 1: for O c D. Yeah, cognitive behavioral therapy. It's a
Speaker 1: it's a specific and kind of usually expensive form of therapy.
Speaker 1: Uh but or just for me, like, just read some
Speaker 1: books about O c D and I think you'll understand
Speaker 1: it better and any time for me when I understand
Speaker 1: something better that helps me to stop the behavior if
Speaker 1: I logically know where the behavior is coming from. Um,
Speaker 1: because I was thinking, I was like, oh, is there
Speaker 1: anything you can do that will like you know, or
Speaker 1: or even like if you're home alone, I don't know,
Speaker 1: do something like put like black eyeshadow around your nipple
Speaker 1: or something so that anytime you pick it you're gonna
Speaker 1: get your hands dirty, like little tricks like that, and
Speaker 1: it's a reminder to not do it. Yeah, it's kind
Speaker 1: of like, yeah, it's just a reminder, like why have
Speaker 1: some hot wax on you? And then you'll have to
Speaker 1: like go and like you won't be able to do
Speaker 1: anything else because you'll have gotten black on your hands.
Speaker 1: You'll have to go then take a moment wash your hands.
Speaker 1: It's like just it's stepping outside of the kind of
Speaker 1: anxiety riddled behavior I think is what I would recommend.
Speaker 1: That's like a you know, like a self help kind
Speaker 1: of thing. It's the same thing as like tying a
Speaker 1: red ribbon around your your finger or slapping yourself with
Speaker 1: a with a rubber band, which are actually all things
Speaker 1: on the band is because then you associate that activity
Speaker 1: then with a little like pinch with a little and
Speaker 1: that takes that's enough to take you out of it
Speaker 1: a long You kind of yeah, you kind of need
Speaker 1: to get yourself out of the behavior that that's even
Speaker 1: the same as like when you're training a dog, you
Speaker 1: give it a little tap just to kind of get
Speaker 1: it out of whatever moment it's having, get it out
Speaker 1: of the behavior. That's it. Um. If anyone has any
Speaker 1: tips or tricks, just email us. That's sorry about last
Speaker 1: night's show at gmail dot com. And uh now today's
Speaker 1: guest guys, so much fun. This is someone who I've
Speaker 1: we've been wanting to have on the podcast for a
Speaker 1: really long time. Says such an interesting life, equal parts funny,
Speaker 1: and said she's a writer editor an Elite Daily, she
Speaker 1: has contributed to some e cards and she's just a
Speaker 1: really wonderful comedian, one of my favorites in the city.
Speaker 1: Please give a warm welcome to rosebud Baker's wave when
Speaker 1: or here with rosebud Baker. Hi, how you doing? Hi
Speaker 1: Rose Bud? Hi, guys, I'm good. We all know that's
Speaker 1: not your real name. Let's start with that. What wait,
Speaker 1: getting grilled, getting real whoa right off the top coming
Speaker 1: in hot r in just got off fucking public transportation.
Speaker 1: She's but I wish come on, Yeah it was. It
Speaker 1: was an suv black guess fancy pants. No, I don't
Speaker 1: even know. My real name was Rosemary actually, but I've
Speaker 1: never been called Rosemary in my entire life. Like my
Speaker 1: parents called me Rosebud. Okay, well that's for the I
Speaker 1: think Rosebud is a better I was just curious how
Speaker 1: you get how you get to that because it's very
Speaker 1: hippie ish. Yeah, I don't know. I Um, there's a
Speaker 1: lot of different stories in my family about how I
Speaker 1: got it. Everybody takes credit for the nickname. My aunt
Speaker 1: takes credit for it, my dad does. Um, apparently the
Speaker 1: story looks if we're going with what my dad says,
Speaker 1: I was, Yeah, I was born and I was like
Speaker 1: constantly very red in the face. And he was like, oh,
Speaker 1: she's like a little Rosebud, and that's like how I
Speaker 1: got it. He had something wrong with you. And then
Speaker 1: they're like, so, but you couldn't by the umbilical chord
Speaker 1: and they thought it was like an invisible bilical corder
Speaker 1: on your neck at all times when you were a child. Exactly,
Speaker 1: very sweet, exactly. Um, we were we were having a
Speaker 1: conversation about fashion that was very interesting. I I've been
Speaker 1: trying to figure out what the how the fund to dress?
Speaker 1: But you talking about big boobs? How big? What's your
Speaker 1: cup size? I'm a thirty four d okay, yes, same,
Speaker 1: And it's you can't wear certain ship looks stupid? Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: And I did a great job of covering them up.
Speaker 1: It's fine. I think my ax speaks for it. So
Speaker 1: you have you have the friend and friends with big
Speaker 1: do you have a ten minute bit about that's my
Speaker 1: punching up towards people with a large breast stroke. So
Speaker 1: I'm fine, Um, but but yeah, you can't wear you
Speaker 1: just can't wear certain ship. You can't wear marathon's that's
Speaker 1: for goddamn well know and funk the New York City Marathon.
Speaker 1: By the way, while we're at it, I just want
Speaker 1: to throw that it's not even for a cause. I
Speaker 1: do hope that they all escape what they're running from.
Speaker 1: As I said before, I don't know what the car.
Speaker 1: But it's also like it's like, let's why is this
Speaker 1: not happening in some small city in the Midwest where
Speaker 1: they have where this is not going to shut down
Speaker 1: the whole fucking story. You know, along the river with
Speaker 1: the run on the river, run along the river where
Speaker 1: the pedestrians run exactly, Tell you pedestrians to take a
Speaker 1: day off, and I'll tell the marathon people to run there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: although after this week it's probably better not to run
Speaker 1: along that. That's true. There's always gonna be some terrorists
Speaker 1: running you over with the truck. By the way, can
Speaker 1: we just talk about Nobody even talked about that, Like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, not many people did that happened. I
Speaker 1: did have food poisoning that day my dad. That's how
Speaker 1: I learned about because my dad texted me and goes, yeah,
Speaker 1: my I also didn't know until my my brother texted
Speaker 1: me are you alive? And I go, oh, no, what terrorists?
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh ship, yeah, yeah, Google. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I think, well, there's multiple reasons why people
Speaker 1: may not want it. Number one, Uber might have paid
Speaker 1: them off to not talk about it because the guy
Speaker 1: who did it was an Uber driver. Wow, that's why
Speaker 1: you should use lift lady. And I'm just kidding. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's you know, well, you know, you've got to have
Speaker 1: a way to fund the running the truck for your
Speaker 1: terrorist plot, right, so how are you gonna get it?
Speaker 1: I mean you would think they get money overseas from
Speaker 1: some evil motherfucker and a bank account or something, but
Speaker 1: I don't know how that works. I don't know. This
Speaker 1: guy claimed allegiance to Isis, but I don't know. I
Speaker 1: think I think he's just like trying to get into
Speaker 1: the group by himself. I don't necessarily he was a
Speaker 1: loser of ices, right, because I mean they you know,
Speaker 1: I don't want to, but they've done better work they have,
Speaker 1: I know. I think it's just all the time. I
Speaker 1: don't know if it's wise to say on a podcast,
Speaker 1: but whatever, and sometimes SIS you could have done. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's probably the loser. But he's like if I kill
Speaker 1: myself and say Isis, they have to accept me. But
Speaker 1: also and there he majorly fucked up. He didn't kill
Speaker 1: himself like that terrorism one on one you need to
Speaker 1: make sure that you have a gun. He didn't even
Speaker 1: have a real gun. He had like a fake like
Speaker 1: a potato gun. Of course it was. And now they're
Speaker 1: trying to send him so like he was hitting himself
Speaker 1: at the potato in the truck until when the cops
Speaker 1: got there. Yeah, get yeah, because they're and then they're
Speaker 1: in like should we torch him? Should we not? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Maybe just get I don't. I who why what I say?
Speaker 1: Having a reality TV show? Yeah? Is that not the
Speaker 1: American Wife? I think it is? As I recall it
Speaker 1: is isis has talent? Iis got talent? You know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Yeah, and just do it like good god,
Speaker 1: that is really got talent this week? That's really funny.
Speaker 1: I would watch that isis Got talent because it's not grammatical.
Speaker 1: It doesn't sound grammatically correct. No, it literally in addition
Speaker 1: to isis got talents? In general, isis got talent? I
Speaker 1: don't got talent? Though? No, well he doesn't. Some do,
Speaker 1: but I feel like I would do it. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: would do it more like the voice style, so that
Speaker 1: you have three people who are experts and terrorism with
Speaker 1: their backs turned, and then people come on this stage
Speaker 1: and say this is my terrorist plot and then like
Speaker 1: if you if you turn around around, yeah you know what,
Speaker 1: you might as well just have Trump on their I
Speaker 1: mean yeah, he would host it. Yeah, I really feel
Speaker 1: like he wasn't who wants to be doing anything else?
Speaker 1: And sitting in that old house Away, sex stuff set right,
Speaker 1: this is the world. But I was reading man Repeller,
Speaker 1: which is a blog about fashion and if you don't
Speaker 1: if you don't not address it's fantastic. It kind of
Speaker 1: teaches you how to dress. So that's what I've been reading.
Speaker 1: Why is it called man Repeller though? Do they explain that? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Because well it started off as like you know, how
Speaker 1: like everything that it becomes a fashion trend, men are
Speaker 1: like grow that. Yeah. So the idea is that everything
Speaker 1: that we like fashion wise, um men hate and it's
Speaker 1: like dressing and that makes me happy. Yeah, it's like
Speaker 1: dressing for you and you are dressing to have fun. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and you're dressing as an expression of yourself, right, Yeah.
Speaker 1: Because any time a guy I'm out with it like
Speaker 1: or just like a friend i'mount with is attracted to
Speaker 1: a woman, I must say she is dressed like in
Speaker 1: nineteen eighties Walmart catalog exactly, because I think I think
Speaker 1: men are looking at it like what's the least amount
Speaker 1: of clothing you can be wearing? Right exactly? I mean
Speaker 1: you don't. You can be dressed in a rag with
Speaker 1: fucking fish at tights and they'll be like like that's
Speaker 1: the hottest outfit I've ever seen. Yeah, wow, you're so
Speaker 1: fashion forward. Yeah. Really, you're just showing up to work
Speaker 1: at the strip club, right, And I like, I mean,
Speaker 1: I like man repeller because it it like tells you
Speaker 1: how to layer. And I'm like the most comfortable when
Speaker 1: I'm wearing the most amount of clothes. Same, Yeah, why
Speaker 1: why is that for you? Um? I just think I
Speaker 1: like it's a comfort thing. Like I like to be
Speaker 1: wearing a lot of clothes. I just like it feels comfortable.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm in a sleeping bag, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I want to
Speaker 1: be I kind of want to be covered up. I don't.
Speaker 1: I never feel super comfortable in Okay, So, like my
Speaker 1: Halloween costume was Courtney Love in the nineties. So like,
Speaker 1: you know, I wore like these tights that were ripped
Speaker 1: up in like a slip and um, I wore three
Speaker 1: pairs of underwear because I was so uncomfortable walking out
Speaker 1: of these. Someone tried to get to your I was
Speaker 1: gonna say. I was like, just in case anybody sees anything,
Speaker 1: I just want to be wearing as much as possible. Three.
Speaker 1: I mean, okay, I was wearing a thong, and then
Speaker 1: I was wearing um and then I wore tights. Why
Speaker 1: a thong that was Well, a thong is You've got
Speaker 1: to cover the tiniest bits first, Yeah, cover that up.
Speaker 1: Each thing has a different coverage, right thing. And also,
Speaker 1: if your genitals are cold, the rest of you is
Speaker 1: going to be free. Pussy is never cold, though, No
Speaker 1: it's not. It was really you know what, it was
Speaker 1: really just for me. I was really when I when
Speaker 1: I was it was cold. Yeah, what I have never
Speaker 1: doing outdoor outdoor sports? Your pussy will get cold? WHOA sure,
Speaker 1: I guess I've never done a winter sport. My ass
Speaker 1: is always freezing, but cheeks get cold. My vagina is
Speaker 1: warm as hell. Saying interesting, But I never seen him
Speaker 1: down there, Yeah, because he got three pairs of underwearing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm sure that you're keeping it all in all the moisture.
Speaker 1: I mean, I was literally I think it was just
Speaker 1: like walking out of the house and that like that
Speaker 1: little amount of clothing. I was just like, you know what,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna make or nobody sees even a little
Speaker 1: bit of anything. Yeah, if I'm walking up some subway stairs,
Speaker 1: I don't want anybody catching them. When you were younger,
Speaker 1: was there like a time, not even a specific and
Speaker 1: do you remember feeling grossed out by like men's attention
Speaker 1: towards you. I've always felt grossed out by men's attention. Same. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't never want to hold like a woman, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. I mean, of course I'm like
Speaker 1: a woman, but I don't like feel like, you know,
Speaker 1: when you're like walking around in the world, you're not
Speaker 1: just want to be a person. Sometimes I just women
Speaker 1: don't really have that luxury. Well, I just do feel
Speaker 1: like a person, right right, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: I just am a person. So and then that attention
Speaker 1: is like le men rose back, like Larry David, annoying.
Speaker 1: Even when I went out on Halloween, somebody came up
Speaker 1: to me and was like rosebud, like they didn't recognize
Speaker 1: me because I was wearing like makeup and wearing like
Speaker 1: a dress, and like I looked like a skank, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, I look like I look like, well,
Speaker 1: that's why you don't dress that way, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Thank you so much, yeah exactly. I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I can't. I love dressing like a skank, though sometimes
Speaker 1: sometimes I do. But it's like, but it's if I
Speaker 1: would feel safe or if there were no men, I
Speaker 1: would like I dressed like the biggest tour if there
Speaker 1: were no This is so interesting to me because I
Speaker 1: certainly do not like cat calling or or you know,
Speaker 1: the male gays on me. But I don't feel uncomfortable
Speaker 1: ever with it. And I mean I've been got like
Speaker 1: other people around me have felt more uncomfortable. I mean,
Speaker 1: Christina included. But also like even growing up in high school,
Speaker 1: like I used to always like to wear like short shorts,
Speaker 1: and like my my family would get annoyed. They'd be like,
Speaker 1: can you dress a little bit like calm er? Some
Speaker 1: people don't yell at you. And even then when I
Speaker 1: was like sixteen seventeen, I was like, this is their problem,
Speaker 1: not mine. You know, like if you're yelling at six
Speaker 1: senior old girl, that's fucking disgusting. Get your life together.
Speaker 1: I wish. Actually, when you asked if is there ever
Speaker 1: like a time during my life that there was I
Speaker 1: didn't like me, it was high school. It was totally
Speaker 1: high school. Because I remember I got into high school,
Speaker 1: I got on the cheerleading squad, right and I came
Speaker 1: mench and I came in and they immediately it was
Speaker 1: like they picked me as like this freshman chick that
Speaker 1: they were going to fall And then all they who
Speaker 1: the men, like the senior dudes and the you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, and oh you were there conquests comfortable. Wow,
Speaker 1: this is like a nineties movie right right. But then
Speaker 1: the girls. I remember my fucking house getting egged by
Speaker 1: these like senior chicks and like, for no reason, you
Speaker 1: guys want to fuck you. I don't know. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's gonna sound hot, it's gonna sound like I like,
Speaker 1: but yeah, that is. I think that's why it was.
Speaker 1: You know. I was like, there's no other reason. Sometimes
Speaker 1: girls are mean to other girls, especially at that young
Speaker 1: of an age where you're not maturious, because they're jealous
Speaker 1: and you don't know how to handle that. So you
Speaker 1: just like yeah. So then I ended up getting actually
Speaker 1: kicked off the cheerleading squad and just too hot. No,
Speaker 1: I got kicked off the cheerleading squad because I think, well,
Speaker 1: I don't know either dropped out or I got kicked up.
Speaker 1: I know I was benched because I made a very
Speaker 1: um it was a distasteful jew joke. Okay, perfect love
Speaker 1: where this is going. You have to tell I didn't
Speaker 1: have to take a seat for that. It was some
Speaker 1: taking seat. It was really antisemitic. I can't even repeat it.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Jewish? No, I mean look
Speaker 1: at men Handler's dream. Yeah you are. I can never
Speaker 1: tell when people are Jewish though, I really, I mean Goldstein,
Speaker 1: Now you couldn't. I know I'm Jewish. I didn't know
Speaker 1: that a long time along. It was no suppressing. Wait wait,
Speaker 1: uh didn't you used to be chubby? I was in
Speaker 1: um in elementary school? Okay, so when you're really a
Speaker 1: little yeah, because I know you you talk about that
Speaker 1: a lot, where it must have had some kind of
Speaker 1: effect on you that you mentioned it as an adult,
Speaker 1: Like that's how I knew about it from talking about
Speaker 1: it for sure. Yeah no, no, no. Growing up as
Speaker 1: a fat kid, you're like, how fat? I mean, I
Speaker 1: have a picture. I don't know. Okay, I was. I
Speaker 1: was large enough, you know what I mean, Like we're
Speaker 1: I would go over to friends houses and my parents
Speaker 1: would be like, remind her to slow down when she's eating. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but also I my yeah, but that because I ate
Speaker 1: too fats, I mean I was I ate too fast.
Speaker 1: And I would give myself stomach aches all the time.
Speaker 1: I was well, I ate, I ate like I was
Speaker 1: trying to escape. Do you know what I'm saying? My
Speaker 1: body like you want to eat your way out of
Speaker 1: the house or for sure? Yeah? And like and I
Speaker 1: think also my my mom was pregnant for like the
Speaker 1: first ten years of my life. I think I was
Speaker 1: just like storing up. I have four younger sisters, one
Speaker 1: of whom passed away, but like I, I was definitely
Speaker 1: a fat child. You know. We're like guys that I
Speaker 1: had crushes on would make fun of me, and then
Speaker 1: I'd like, you know, get in trouble for like pouring.
Speaker 1: Kids noticed them. Yeah, yeah, kids noticed it. My parents
Speaker 1: noticed it, my friends, you know. My my sister would go,
Speaker 1: I'll never forget this. My sister got on. I remember
Speaker 1: picking her up from school and she was like, um,
Speaker 1: my classmates said today that you were fat, but I
Speaker 1: told them you were big boned in and I was like, oh, thanks,
Speaker 1: you're a fucking hero. I was like, thanks for telling
Speaker 1: me you caun't yeah, my book. You know. She was sweet,
Speaker 1: she was trying to be nice. Yeah she meant well,
Speaker 1: but I was like, thanks a lot can I smell
Speaker 1: your derrito bag? I mean, I was really just sad.
Speaker 1: Oh here's a picture here I am this is This
Speaker 1: is me holding my sister I put. I shared that
Speaker 1: on Instagram last week. Oh but everyone's kind of fat
Speaker 1: at that age, right, everybody says that, but like, I
Speaker 1: mean maybe, yeah, it's in like third grade. A lot
Speaker 1: of kids this age have like little twig arms, and
Speaker 1: you didn't have twig arms. Yeah, everybody, but that's enough
Speaker 1: for little kids to be like right exactly, And I was,
Speaker 1: I was headed, and I remember being like, I'm not
Speaker 1: going to be fat when I'm older, Like I just
Speaker 1: I remember, you are right. I remember not being worried
Speaker 1: about it very much, and uh and but also being
Speaker 1: like I thought I was gorgeous right now. And then
Speaker 1: when you're aware of other people's criticism. It was only
Speaker 1: when other people stepped in that I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I guess I'm not you know what I mean? Like
Speaker 1: I thought I was like hot. Ship. That's a very
Speaker 1: pivotal moment in a person's life, a young person's life specifically,
Speaker 1: because you can either go with I'm right or they're right,
Speaker 1: and most people go with their right because who said
Speaker 1: multiple people are saying it, and it just won me.
Speaker 1: You're you're kind of oddly like logical at that age,
Speaker 1: You're like, I guess they're right then, and then the
Speaker 1: insecurity bruise from there. Yeah. But I do still feel
Speaker 1: like a fat kid a little bit like inside, like
Speaker 1: I have a fat I still have a fat kids laugh,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like, when why I like
Speaker 1: you? You You have a fat You have a fat kid personality?
Speaker 1: I do. You don't have a hot person personality. Hot
Speaker 1: people personalities that you tend to be annoying. So that's
Speaker 1: why I like people who are only hot but used
Speaker 1: to not be hot. Those are my favorite people. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I talk about this all the time. Yeah, because if
Speaker 1: you're forced to develop your personality, yeah, you gotta work
Speaker 1: for it. Yeah, you gotta dance. You got tap dance
Speaker 1: for I learned to tap dance in circles. That's great. Yeah.
Speaker 1: How did you learn about sex? Oh? God, how do
Speaker 1: I learn about it? I mean I definitely had to talk. Oh,
Speaker 1: my parents had to talk with me. I haven't talked
Speaker 1: to a person a while who's had got the talk.
Speaker 1: Are your parents religious or were they? Or no? Not really?
Speaker 1: I mean it was the talk was like sitting down
Speaker 1: with a book with my mom and being like, this
Speaker 1: is a dick and this is a vagina. And I
Speaker 1: remember being so uncomfortable. Did she say dick? No? I
Speaker 1: think she. I think she said penis the whole time.
Speaker 1: I would have preferred she said this is the evil.
Speaker 1: One night, I remember being like, please stop saying penis,
Speaker 1: you know, like you please just call it something else.
Speaker 1: This is a weird word anyway. And how old are you?
Speaker 1: I was maybe like twelve. I was like, oh, I'm
Speaker 1: way past this. I like know about all of you
Speaker 1: already knew. I'd been masturbating since I was like eight.
Speaker 1: Same can you discover masturbation? Oh? Just doing horrible things
Speaker 1: to the furniture. Same, you know, just just accidentally do
Speaker 1: it in front of somebody, you know, Oh for sure.
Speaker 1: My parents would like walk in and I would just
Speaker 1: be for you sing. Did you know that was something
Speaker 1: to be doing private or no? I don't know how
Speaker 1: I knew that it was something to be done in private. Instinctually, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I was saying, oh, this is wrong, you know. I
Speaker 1: mean I think I was just like me. It was
Speaker 1: shameful too, because I was like fully making love to
Speaker 1: an inanimate object. Were you making out with it? No,
Speaker 1: I never did any of that. It wasn't romantic. It
Speaker 1: was just getting my rocks off. Yeah, it's just humping it. Well,
Speaker 1: I think you know, especially girls, know that, like no
Speaker 1: one should be asking to see or touch her vagina
Speaker 1: from a young age. Therefore, I don't think you would
Speaker 1: do anything that exposes or like uses your vagina and
Speaker 1: publicly without in public, without shame. That makes sense because people,
Speaker 1: I mean, like people don't tell like guys to protect
Speaker 1: their dicks the way we're taught to protect our vaginas.
Speaker 1: If anything, it's just like put your goddamn put away,
Speaker 1: dinner table trying. Yeah, having a brother was always just
Speaker 1: like people like, all right, Chris, put your dick away.
Speaker 1: Yeah wow, my brother never had a dick out in
Speaker 1: a way means I will say growing up with all women,
Speaker 1: like we were never clothed, Like we never had our clothes.
Speaker 1: That sounds awesome, you know, we were just I mean
Speaker 1: I remember coming home drunk one night and my mom
Speaker 1: being in front of the fridge tits out, no bra,
Speaker 1: just and this half less after the divorce, so it
Speaker 1: was all women and it was like I came home
Speaker 1: and she was like, oh my, oh my boobs and
Speaker 1: just like ran it and she's like laughing hysterically and
Speaker 1: like she like farted on her way to the back.
Speaker 1: I was like, this is amazing, but it was really
Speaker 1: um like animal house but with all chicks. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: I was wondering about that, because I mean, like for me,
Speaker 1: I we were okay with being nude, but then at
Speaker 1: a certain point, I think, like around like eleven twelve,
Speaker 1: my mom's like, put your pants on. Your brother and
Speaker 1: your dad are here, and so I'm like, oh, if
Speaker 1: it was just me and you, this would be fine.
Speaker 1: Like I mean, it's like, I hope my dad and
Speaker 1: my brother don't feel sexually towards me mother. You know,
Speaker 1: it's like, literally, man, if I said that once, I've
Speaker 1: said a dozen times it's true. Though, I think that
Speaker 1: men are the thing that make women act like women,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Because is a very good point,
Speaker 1: because I wouldn't, honestly, like growing up with all women,
Speaker 1: My sisters and I are all just like monsters. Could
Speaker 1: you imagine the inhibition women would have throughout their like
Speaker 1: their life if men didn't make women feel that way
Speaker 1: like women. You're right, Yeah, because we're always being reminded
Speaker 1: we're fucking women. Yeah, and that's one of the things
Speaker 1: that I've always got, Cathol and just stop it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just it's like I never thought about that. It's
Speaker 1: they're the thing that makes us be women, women in
Speaker 1: the you know, patriarchal when yeah, when we don't want
Speaker 1: to be a lot of times. Wow, that's interesting. Did
Speaker 1: you ever was there ever a point where multiple sisters
Speaker 1: in the house, living in the same household had their
Speaker 1: period sync up? I don't know if you were at
Speaker 1: the age you doubt that way. I don't even think
Speaker 1: we even brought it up, Like, I don't even talked
Speaker 1: about it that much, and you can't tell, like, man,
Speaker 1: the trash, it sure fills up quickly. I know. I
Speaker 1: never really like kept track of that. I never, like, uh,
Speaker 1: I never even noticed my period. Honestly, what I like
Speaker 1: remember getting it because my mom fucking showed up at
Speaker 1: school with her friend Vicky and they were, oh my god,
Speaker 1: her friends. I know. It was crazy and like, but
Speaker 1: I know, no, she's like, she's not your roommate, she's
Speaker 1: not gay, but you would but like sounds like roommate.
Speaker 1: She literally It was my friend Sarah's mom and Vicky.
Speaker 1: Vicky and nanny came to pick us up from school
Speaker 1: and I was bleeding through my pants and my mom, No,
Speaker 1: Vicky put on a black wig, like like like an afro,
Speaker 1: and she was like, look, I'm a penis. And I
Speaker 1: didn't even understand how that was related. She would have
Speaker 1: lost her Twitter account. They had a fucking gift. They
Speaker 1: had a gift bag full of tampons and pants and
Speaker 1: they were like, welcome to womanhood. It only goes downhill
Speaker 1: from here. It was like a sad bag and they
Speaker 1: thought it was so funny. It's sad bag exactly. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: because no, girl, like, that's embarrassing. That's so embarrassing. I
Speaker 1: mean it was. I'm sorry that happened to you. I
Speaker 1: don't you know what. You guys are just making me
Speaker 1: realize that it was embarrassing. But yeah, it was fine,
Speaker 1: it's hilarious. I'm just like, no, that was an embarrassing moment.
Speaker 1: I should have been embarrassed. Um, but you were, you
Speaker 1: were good. I never had that, Yeah, no, I didn't
Speaker 1: never registered. I got one one kid pulled my pants
Speaker 1: down in front of a kid. I had a crush
Speaker 1: on a play practice and I had a big old
Speaker 1: pad on that was only embarrassing. I mean that's sexual. Yeah,
Speaker 1: your assault. Yeah, it was just so thick man and
Speaker 1: the wings, the wings were like the size of my underwear.
Speaker 1: It was so bad. They're like sucks on my leg. Anyway,
Speaker 1: that's the only embarrassing thing I've period related I've ever
Speaker 1: really had. I think that's like one of my favorite stories.
Speaker 1: My mom ever told me about her getting her period,
Speaker 1: because she's the oldest of three girls. And I remember
Speaker 1: like the first time she got her period. She said
Speaker 1: that my grandma sent her out and she and like
Speaker 1: watched her walk down the block and then called her
Speaker 1: back because she was walking so weird because the pad
Speaker 1: was so big, and she called her back. It's like
Speaker 1: a seat cushion, Like, Diane, you can't walk. He's walking
Speaker 1: like like this just a penguin waddling waddling down. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, that story, it's so sweet. But it's these
Speaker 1: little things that I think people don't realize, Like young
Speaker 1: women have to cook. Yeah, it's really sucks, and when
Speaker 1: every every gender it feels weird at that age anyway,
Speaker 1: and then you got to go through the bleeding, I
Speaker 1: went tampon. I never I like, I went straight to Tampon's.
Speaker 1: I practiced that ship before I ever got my period.
Speaker 1: I was like, I feel good, truly, Like, um, you know, no,
Speaker 1: it's really very technical. I was reading the directions. I
Speaker 1: was just making sure that I had my bases covered. See,
Speaker 1: I didn't know. I'm like, how the funk am I
Speaker 1: gonna find this whole? Do you seem very a dull around?
Speaker 1: Have you like always been very adult because they're the
Speaker 1: oldest child, or I think I kind of forced me
Speaker 1: a little bit to be like more adult than my sister.
Speaker 1: Like I was. I was kind of like on my
Speaker 1: own because my parents they were constantly procreating, okay, because
Speaker 1: they were trying to fix the marriage. So it was
Speaker 1: like they were just like making babies to save their lives.
Speaker 1: And I was very much like a babysitter, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. How was the age difference between you
Speaker 1: and your next youngest? Um, not not that much. It
Speaker 1: was like not even two years. When you're a kid,
Speaker 1: that's a lot of years, you know. Yeah, I was
Speaker 1: like I thought I was older than her, But it
Speaker 1: was also like I was so excited that she was
Speaker 1: like going to be born. I was so excited and
Speaker 1: she kind of ended up a little bit lame, Like
Speaker 1: I love her so my sister. Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 1: She Probably isn't she the one that I met her? No? No,
Speaker 1: that's Mary Stewart who is obsessed with me. How old
Speaker 1: is she? She's a lot younger. She's like, she's six
Speaker 1: years younger. Okay, she's on my Instagram a lot and
Speaker 1: like all of her friends are my only fans, and
Speaker 1: it's it's hilarious because like she's she's at her college
Speaker 1: reunion this weekend and she's like everybody's coming up to
Speaker 1: me being like I follow your sister on Instagram and
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't even know how these people I
Speaker 1: think because she's constantly instagramming about me where she's like
Speaker 1: I love you Rosebud and I'm like, easy, leave me alone,
Speaker 1: Like it's it's really away. She'll hug me. I'm like, please,
Speaker 1: don't hug me. You're embarrassing me. And she's like, we're
Speaker 1: alone in your apartment, and uh, she moved next door
Speaker 1: to you, didn't she next door to me? She's a hundred.
Speaker 1: I'm like, can you be single white female by your
Speaker 1: own sister. You can, I guess because she watt Yeah,
Speaker 1: good thing you had dogs. I know, honestly, why do
Speaker 1: you think she specifically is so obsessed with you? I
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know your cool as ship dude.
Speaker 1: She's but I'm like, we have such different lives. Like
Speaker 1: she's like she like works in the art world. She's
Speaker 1: very like classy, and I like our gallery word gallery world.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean. She addresses I mean in peccably.
Speaker 1: She dresses so well. Maybe then there's a part of
Speaker 1: you that she looks at and you're like a free spirit.
Speaker 1: You just kind of go with the go whatever direction
Speaker 1: you wanted to care less Rose, But yeah, we're trying
Speaker 1: to tell you, how can I care less like Rosebud? Yeah?
Speaker 1: How did? How can I just let my life fall
Speaker 1: upon Can I just put on anything and walk out
Speaker 1: the door. I just want to sit here and let
Speaker 1: life happen to me. But I also, that's so true
Speaker 1: and sad truth. You had sister passed away? I did,
Speaker 1: and that how long ago was that that? I don't
Speaker 1: know much about this almost night ago, almost fifteen years ago.
Speaker 1: She she was a twin, so my youngest sister is
Speaker 1: ten years younger than me. And there were twins, so
Speaker 1: we had twins that were ten years younger than us,
Speaker 1: Jackie and Graham. And it was at it was actually
Speaker 1: at a high school party, like a high school graduation
Speaker 1: party for a friend of mine, right, so like we
Speaker 1: were all graduating and he invited my whole family, and um,
Speaker 1: I ended up sucking this guy by the way, Like
Speaker 1: like years later, I was like that night, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: was like no, like years later, but it was still
Speaker 1: very fucked up, Like it was still a very fucked up,
Speaker 1: um you know, kind of like psychologically sucked up time
Speaker 1: because because literally Graham died the like three days before
Speaker 1: my high school graduation. She was caught in the drain
Speaker 1: of a hot tub her hair, her hair got caught
Speaker 1: and she she took like it couldn't three grown men
Speaker 1: couldn't pull her. Yeah, and they and it was like
Speaker 1: it was just wild. It was like, um, I because
Speaker 1: you know, in a lot of ways, I felt responsible,
Speaker 1: like it was my fault that my family was like invited,
Speaker 1: and yeah it was my friend. It was my high
Speaker 1: school graduation. I changed her into her swimsuit, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. Like for years I was like I felt,
Speaker 1: um really responsible for that. How Yeah, because how could
Speaker 1: you take a tragic moment like that and just go, well,
Speaker 1: it happens. How could a brain even do that? Well,
Speaker 1: like your brain does do that, but your body and
Speaker 1: your subconscious says something different. So it's like you're you
Speaker 1: don't think that you're blaming yourself, but the way that
Speaker 1: you're living suggests that you're blaming yourself, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. So I would look at the way that
Speaker 1: my life was going and the way that I would
Speaker 1: attach myself to men who needed to be saved or
Speaker 1: like um or I would you know, for years I
Speaker 1: was the one who needed saving, and then I would
Speaker 1: and then after I got sober, I was attached to
Speaker 1: men who needed to be saved, and I was like
Speaker 1: trying to save their lives, to try in a in
Speaker 1: a way to save my sister, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: It makes sense. So it was like, I mean, it
Speaker 1: was very It took I'm like six years into therapy now,
Speaker 1: so you know high Peter, if you're listening, Um, I
Speaker 1: love my therapy. So I was using the same therapist
Speaker 1: for six years. Yeah, that's awesome because then you could
Speaker 1: dive in date. Yeah, yeah, he's into your issues. He's fantastic.
Speaker 1: And I saw a therapists before that, you know, I
Speaker 1: saw my mom had me in therapy when I was
Speaker 1: like fucking eight years ago. Um wait stuff, uh you know,
Speaker 1: like I don't really know actually oh yeah, yeah. I
Speaker 1: had trouble in school. I hated school, so like I
Speaker 1: would Uh. I remember I threw a rock at my
Speaker 1: kindergarten window, broke the window ship but it was sky
Speaker 1: You're playing Kissy Girls and this guy. Yeah, this guy
Speaker 1: was like, I'll kiss you if you throw a rock
Speaker 1: through the window. And I was like, no problem, Um,
Speaker 1: will is that kiss? Never fucking kissed me. If you're listening,
Speaker 1: I just want you to know that I remember, and
Speaker 1: your name is on a list just just so you know. Anyway,
Speaker 1: So yeah, it was. It was like horrible. And three
Speaker 1: days later I'm graduating because you walk I walked, so
Speaker 1: but like your family all like, how do you what
Speaker 1: happens that? It's almost yeah, that's my quest, like the
Speaker 1: in the in like those in those moments, it's almost
Speaker 1: like how do you function? Like how do you like
Speaker 1: leave a party? How do you go in a car
Speaker 1: after that? How do you go to the bathroom, put
Speaker 1: on a close well. It was like she was I
Speaker 1: had There were two there were two parties that day
Speaker 1: right that I had to go to. So I went
Speaker 1: to that first one and then I left and my
Speaker 1: and my sister died after I had left. Oh fucking ship.
Speaker 1: So I was at this other party. My other two
Speaker 1: sisters were in the hot tub with her, and I
Speaker 1: heard that I heard at this other party like that
Speaker 1: something had happened to my sisters and I needed to
Speaker 1: go home. And I knew, like immediately, I was like
Speaker 1: I knew someone had died, Like I just knew it.
Speaker 1: And I was like speeding home in my car. I
Speaker 1: had my sister Halley with me. We're speeding home. She's like,
Speaker 1: stop speeding. I was like, she's fucking dead. I know it,
Speaker 1: Like I was like, and uh. We got there, and
Speaker 1: I remember hearing the news, you know, Like I walked
Speaker 1: into the kitchen. My mom had like a funeral in
Speaker 1: her eyes, like it was insane, and um, she you know,
Speaker 1: I heard my sister died, and I it's like hearing
Speaker 1: it's like getting kicked in the chest. That's what it feels.
Speaker 1: I mean, no one ever would expect to hear a
Speaker 1: lot of any a sentence uttered to them of that name,
Speaker 1: and it's you just get doubled over, you just double over.
Speaker 1: And I remember here, I remember. All I remember after
Speaker 1: that was seeing my little sister Mary Stuart's screaming in
Speaker 1: pain and in grief, and then crawling. I remember crawling
Speaker 1: from the kitchen out the front hallway to my car
Speaker 1: looking for cigarettes. Like that was the first thing I
Speaker 1: could do, is I was like looking for cigarettes and
Speaker 1: I and I remember thinking I'm gonna be so fucked up,
Speaker 1: like just being like I'm gonna be fucked up for
Speaker 1: the rest of my life. And and it was weird
Speaker 1: that that was my first thought, but I was just like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it was like a thing went off in my brain,
Speaker 1: which I now I'm like, I'm realizing was alcoholism, but like, huh,
Speaker 1: I was. It was just I was just like, well,
Speaker 1: all it's off to the fucking places, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, Because I was gonna say, I know, I
Speaker 1: know that you struggled with alcoholism, but and that, but
Speaker 1: that was not an issue before this happened. It was
Speaker 1: dying trigger that or it was I was already on
Speaker 1: this path where my I noticed my first priority was
Speaker 1: to get sucked up, Like I liked getting sucked up,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And I remember, specifically with Graham,
Speaker 1: her asking me to take her to seven eleven, and
Speaker 1: I remember being like, no, I can't. I gotta go
Speaker 1: to my friend's house. I'm going to like, uh you know,
Speaker 1: I was like going to get sucked up, you know,
Speaker 1: Like at that point, I was smoking a lot of weed.
Speaker 1: I never I was like trying not to drink because
Speaker 1: you know, my mom's an alcoholic and I knew about it,
Speaker 1: so I hereditary, right, it is hereditary. My grandmother died
Speaker 1: of alcoholism. She was like drunk, passed out on the couch,
Speaker 1: lit the couch on fire with a cigarette, and died,
Speaker 1: you know. So it's like and it's my whole family's
Speaker 1: like riddled with alcoholism prediction. So uh, you know, I
Speaker 1: just like I fucking after that, I went to college
Speaker 1: like six months later, and I just fucking lost it.
Speaker 1: Like I just went nuts, you know all the time.
Speaker 1: Did feel all the time better or worse? To leave
Speaker 1: the environment that I am guessing was really somber, It
Speaker 1: felt so much better. Yeah, it felt I honestly like
Speaker 1: I couldn't stand I couldn't stand my family bringing her up.
Speaker 1: I couldn't stand uh, like even even like like happy memories.
Speaker 1: I remember they'd be in the car and they'd be
Speaker 1: like remember when Graham would and I'd be like, oh, Graham, Jesus,
Speaker 1: can we move past it? Like I was like in
Speaker 1: this like state of mind where I was like, all right,
Speaker 1: she's dead, we get it. Like it was a comedian
Speaker 1: before being a comedian. Yeah, that comics deal with tragic
Speaker 1: I mean that's that's yeah. Yeah, and it does help though,
Speaker 1: it does help to joke. I mean it was when
Speaker 1: you're ready. It wasn't like it was it was wild.
Speaker 1: Like I I just had that comedian mindset. I just
Speaker 1: didn't know how to make jokes yet, you know, so
Speaker 1: I was like interesting, yeah, you know, I'd be making
Speaker 1: jokes about my sister dying or like my you know,
Speaker 1: my anorexia or like whatever. I remember the remember coming
Speaker 1: home from college after graduating, because by the end of college,
Speaker 1: my family came to see me and they looked at
Speaker 1: my body and they started crying. Like I was like
Speaker 1: I'd lost so much weight, and uh. I remember coming
Speaker 1: home for Thanksgiving and being like, wow, it feels good.
Speaker 1: To eat again, and my whole family just crickets all
Speaker 1: damn it. And I was like, too soon too? Is
Speaker 1: that too soon? Well? They probably they had they had
Speaker 1: to suffer the unimaginable loss of a child. One child,
Speaker 1: and they didn't want I mean number two. And I
Speaker 1: think that's what they were thinking. I think it was
Speaker 1: just like, you know, I was just trying to fucking
Speaker 1: make people laugh and you know, like and I still
Speaker 1: to this day, like on you know, when I do comedy,
Speaker 1: I talk about like X is that tried to hit me?
Speaker 1: I talk about like the uncomfortable ship on stage, and
Speaker 1: you know, that's life. And that's why I say, like
Speaker 1: most of my comedy, like people who like my comedy
Speaker 1: have been abused, Like it's like that's they understand that. Uh,
Speaker 1: there's like it's funny to laugh, it's freeing to laugh
Speaker 1: at it, too free. I'm like, I'm like, listen, I'm
Speaker 1: the one who fucking took one exactly. Let me laugh
Speaker 1: about this. You handle the way you want to handle it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And it's like people get so tight. Well it's like
Speaker 1: they're discomfort is self is selfish because it's usually people
Speaker 1: who have had these really nice lives who are like, no,
Speaker 1: you can't joke about it. It's like, no, that's the
Speaker 1: only thing you can do. It's the same thing when
Speaker 1: you can't laugh at like jokes about race, Like you
Speaker 1: don't have any black friends. Oh, absolutely, because you don't
Speaker 1: even know who you're standing up for. You're just like,
Speaker 1: I can't like what You're secretly afraid that you're racist yourself,
Speaker 1: right exactly. And you know what, if you have no
Speaker 1: black friends, you might be Yeah, you might like you
Speaker 1: might be a little somewhere else. Yeah, you might be
Speaker 1: a little ignorant. Uh, you have black friends, I do,
Speaker 1: little black boyfriend, But that is not a pad on
Speaker 1: the back. By the way, you are MLK looking down
Speaker 1: on you, going yes, Rose, But was by the way,
Speaker 1: before Tinder, it was Okay Cupid days. I loved I
Speaker 1: loved Okay Cupid. I loved reading the interviews. I just
Speaker 1: poured coffee all over myself. And this is why, Well,
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter how I dress, because it's gonna end up.
Speaker 1: You're a man repeller for sure. I think I had
Speaker 1: a coffee repell I think I have coffee on my eyelid.
Speaker 1: Do you want to do you wanna payper towel. No,
Speaker 1: I'm good. Sure, yeah, just I'll leave it um And
Speaker 1: that'd be the name of your first album, It'll leave
Speaker 1: It Um. Yeah. So what are what was I saying? Well,
Speaker 1: we're talking about last we plotting your black boyfriend Jesus
Speaker 1: Christ God. Well, I remember I remember when you guys
Speaker 1: went on vacation the whole comedy community members because I
Speaker 1: was just talking your Instagram and I was like, please
Speaker 1: make a goddamn calendar. You both are so beautiful and
Speaker 1: so charismatic for everyone was masturbating secretly to your vacation photos.
Speaker 1: One day we will release the tape. Please have you
Speaker 1: recorded yourself having sex? Of course? Yeah, for sure. I
Speaker 1: haven't a u Karan. No, but I don't look like
Speaker 1: Rosebud I mean honest, nor do I have a very
Speaker 1: smoking hot black boyfriend. Yeah, there's no need. Yeah, your
Speaker 1: next tape will go. I would buy it. I hope
Speaker 1: you're not weird open it, but I would No, No, no, absolutely,
Speaker 1: I honestly I would buy it myself. It's first. I
Speaker 1: buy it every night when we buck. I I love
Speaker 1: recording myself having sex. I think it's like cool, the
Speaker 1: greatest thing. What do you love about it. I want
Speaker 1: to what do you do with the footage? Though I'm hot, dry,
Speaker 1: I just give it to him and hope for the past.
Speaker 1: I know, I never watched it again. I really don't.
Speaker 1: I do watch it once or do you just love
Speaker 1: knowing you're being recorded. I'll watch it like right after
Speaker 1: the sex, just to be like instant replay, but I
Speaker 1: don't watch it after that, Like it's really more for
Speaker 1: I enjoy. I think in another life, I must have
Speaker 1: been a prostitute or like, I like, you really love
Speaker 1: some kind of sexual performer, you know, okay? And whose
Speaker 1: idea was it to take it? You were scenes initially
Speaker 1: mine okay, and then he was like, okay, did you
Speaker 1: have any hesitation? If I can't come, I'm like please
Speaker 1: get the camera. Like interesting. So it's like a like
Speaker 1: a fetish kind of yeah, Like it's like a fetish.
Speaker 1: Have you had sex in public? Um? Yeah, actually I have.
Speaker 1: I I'm trying to think of the last time. Oh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah for sure. Okay at the remembered we had sex
Speaker 1: in the Lego movie. Actually no, it was frozen. It
Speaker 1: was we were frozen. But then you caught was like this.
Speaker 1: It was like two pm. And then and the theater
Speaker 1: was basically empty. There were like two people in the
Speaker 1: very front, and um, I think we were like, this sucks.
Speaker 1: Like they're singing. We weren't expecting singing like folks. And
Speaker 1: then I mean they don't. It's not a secret that, yeah,
Speaker 1: we didn't. We didn't know how much singing there was
Speaker 1: going to be. I just I was like, this is
Speaker 1: so uncomfortable, Like I I don't like it, and I
Speaker 1: you know, I think I don't remember exactly how it started,
Speaker 1: but I ended up on my hands and knees and
Speaker 1: uh and he just doggie style fucked. He just JOGGI. Yeah,
Speaker 1: in the middle of Frozen. This is impressive. That is impressive.
Speaker 1: Those was a wide aisles. Yeah, I've never had full
Speaker 1: on in a movie. That's very difficult, certainly given a
Speaker 1: lot hand jobs camera. We just went all out. We
Speaker 1: just went for it. Good for you, I mean, go
Speaker 1: beg your home. Here's the crazy part though. Okay, so
Speaker 1: this was like right when we started dating, obviously, because
Speaker 1: it's like the kind of ship you do. Yeah. Um,
Speaker 1: and like I guess like the people all right, So
Speaker 1: we went to Frozen to two pm at like, which
Speaker 1: is a weird choice to begin with, which is a
Speaker 1: weird choice. You don't both comics. You don't care what
Speaker 1: he's gonna say. It's quirky comic choice, Like, let's do this. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So and then he had the comic strip at like
Speaker 1: eight pm. He had a spot, so we go. We
Speaker 1: were like just walking around, hanging out. We're on the
Speaker 1: Upper West Side, you know that big theater with like
Speaker 1: the leather seats, and it's like, yeah, so there were
Speaker 1: wide aisles, you know, yeah, you got that right, and
Speaker 1: plenty of space and uh and then you know, fucking
Speaker 1: four hours six hours later, we're at the comic strip
Speaker 1: and he starts talking about how we fucked at the theater.
Speaker 1: All of a sudden, were you doing comedy? You were
Speaker 1: doing comedy? I was doing comedy. It was like an
Speaker 1: open micro and uh, this guy goes, that was you
Speaker 1: in the audience. So the only two other people what
Speaker 1: are the chances at that fucking theater saw us fucking
Speaker 1: in the aisle as they were going to the bathroom.
Speaker 1: So like somebody was going to the bathroom and came
Speaker 1: back and told the other one, and the other one
Speaker 1: came back to see and we were and he's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's my girlfriend over there, and I'm like, yeah, Hi,
Speaker 1: how's it going. Wow, he's at the first time he
Speaker 1: called his girlfriend or no, no, he called me his girl.
Speaker 1: I mean I always love those moments with couples because
Speaker 1: it's usually like someone's hitting on you, and the guys
Speaker 1: always like it's my girlfriends. You know. I don't even really,
Speaker 1: I don't remember if he ever called me his girlfriend.
Speaker 1: I don't think he I don't think we ever had
Speaker 1: that conversation for a moment. He just moved in, like
Speaker 1: that was he did. How soon did he move in?
Speaker 1: I think he moved in like three months later. And
Speaker 1: you've been together? How long? So far? Four years? Four years?
Speaker 1: And we just for you? And how do you meet
Speaker 1: at a show? We met on okay? Que? You did
Speaker 1: meet on okay cup and you're both And I blew
Speaker 1: them off for like a month, and then uh, I
Speaker 1: was like really sick of dating. I was just tired
Speaker 1: and I really wanted to die alone. I really did.
Speaker 1: I was like really happy being alone. And when guys
Speaker 1: I had a rule where like if guys came over,
Speaker 1: they had to leave, Like I was like, we can
Speaker 1: funk with you, gotta leave you can't sleep here, and
Speaker 1: it was going very well. By the way, that's a
Speaker 1: fun role. I've done that. If you're having trouble finding
Speaker 1: someone to fall in love with, you just tell a
Speaker 1: guy on the leave you fuck, and all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: they will make you up in their minds and they'll
Speaker 1: be like, you're my girl. Like they'll make you up
Speaker 1: and uh. It's not a great way to actually connect
Speaker 1: and find your soul mate, but if you want someone
Speaker 1: to cast fall in love with you, they will. That's
Speaker 1: why I get to many soccers because I'm so mean
Speaker 1: to people. I think, yeah, and I'm so nice. Zero
Speaker 1: stalkers say I would probably accidentally give him my address
Speaker 1: away eight times by now, Yeah, those fucking idiots. It's
Speaker 1: the people. I mean, guys, just it's I asked. I
Speaker 1: asked Mara Americ how she's had seven people um proposed
Speaker 1: to her, and she goes, I just don't talk. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's like that is literally just kill me, kill me
Speaker 1: right now. I'm like, it's been four years, I haven't
Speaker 1: had a proposal. What do I just stop talking? Now?
Speaker 1: You want one? I want one so bad. That's because
Speaker 1: she's very open about how much she wants to let's
Speaker 1: talk about this. So what do you like about it?
Speaker 1: When I would suck someone else's dick to get married
Speaker 1: to Seaton, I would. That's probably not necessary. If that's
Speaker 1: what he told me it took, I would, I would
Speaker 1: do it. You know what I mean, I'd be like,
Speaker 1: what about it to you? What do you? First of all,
Speaker 1: I really need health insurance, like it's they're not kidding,
Speaker 1: Like I really need it. He's got it, Honestly. That's
Speaker 1: why I'm like, Stephen, let's just get married on my
Speaker 1: health and fine, I'm constantly scared of getting breast cancer.
Speaker 1: I'm just like, I please just marry me. Why specifically?
Speaker 1: Is that running your family? It runs in my family? Um?
Speaker 1: But like also I just want to like go to
Speaker 1: the dermatologists a lot. I'm like really obsessed with that.
Speaker 1: Um Anyway, I I've been wanting to get married to
Speaker 1: him specifically. That's I wasn't crazy about getting married before that.
Speaker 1: I wasn't like, you know, it's not like just anybody,
Speaker 1: but I want to marry him because he's he's so
Speaker 1: good at just leaving me alone. That's beautiful. Well, there's
Speaker 1: it's there is a is that is a very important quality.
Speaker 1: If when someone knows when to give you space and
Speaker 1: how much space to give you, and you can't write
Speaker 1: that down on a piece of paper for someone, it
Speaker 1: has to be natural, and that is rare. I mean,
Speaker 1: I just feel like I have so much freedom in
Speaker 1: my relationship to expand and create friendships and create my
Speaker 1: own life and like do what I want. Yeah, like wow,
Speaker 1: that's awesome. I mean, and he's happy for me. Like
Speaker 1: he's the first guy that I've ever dated or been
Speaker 1: with that is genuinely every time something good happens for me,
Speaker 1: he's excited. That's you know what I mean. He'll be
Speaker 1: the first person to be like, oh my god, you're
Speaker 1: you're doing that. That's amazing. Like it's like and he
Speaker 1: really wants to see me do well and I and honestly,
Speaker 1: I've like no doubt in my mind that he just
Speaker 1: like sometimes I think people would take someone who's like
Speaker 1: aloof and like be like, oh, he doesn't like love
Speaker 1: me or whatever. I'm like, No, he loves me enough
Speaker 1: to like leave me alone, you know, and like that
Speaker 1: is all I've ever wanted. It's just like a guy
Speaker 1: who wants me to He's like, I'll be with you
Speaker 1: as long as you keep growing. And I'm like, that
Speaker 1: is damn, that's why I'm desperate to get married to him. Yeah,
Speaker 1: no ship, I hear, and I'm like, please, if it's
Speaker 1: not you, I'm just gonna turn and turn it in. Well,
Speaker 1: what's the what's the weight on his end? Um? I'm
Speaker 1: sure at this point. Well, I know for a while
Speaker 1: it was like, you know, family stuff, like I don't
Speaker 1: his parents didn't get I don't want to give up
Speaker 1: information about him because he's private, but like you know,
Speaker 1: they weren't ever married, his parents, and so that makes sense,
Speaker 1: you know. And I think it's just like you know,
Speaker 1: he's but I don't think he's against it. I think honestly,
Speaker 1: and lately I've been like, I feel like it's going
Speaker 1: to happen soon. And how old is he? Is that
Speaker 1: a secret? He is thirty? How old? Five? And you're
Speaker 1: thirty thirty something something? I was you're around my age?
Speaker 1: I know? Yeah, okay, And oh it doesn't matter being
Speaker 1: in by like a relationship where one person's white and
Speaker 1: the other person's black. Yeah, what do you get any
Speaker 1: does anything happen? Does you get shipped from anybody? Or no? Oh? No,
Speaker 1: oh awesome, But you have the joke about your your
Speaker 1: dad finding out that, Yeah, that was like that's a
Speaker 1: like fabric the stereotypical, like the the hackey, like the
Speaker 1: white girl's dead finding out like like it was based
Speaker 1: off of that. And it was like I was like, okay, well,
Speaker 1: you know he did ask me, does your dad no
Speaker 1: I'm black? You know, which is like I didn't expect
Speaker 1: that question. And I did like say to him, why
Speaker 1: what am I going to ruin this? Like like I
Speaker 1: did say to him like no, I'm not going to
Speaker 1: tell him that it's gonna be surprised. Uh, And what
Speaker 1: nurse my dad knew he was black? Um, but it's
Speaker 1: not like I think my dad had seen pictures or whatever.
Speaker 1: I didn't like. I wasn't like dad, now listen right
Speaker 1: right right, I'm bringing a black man. It wasn't like
Speaker 1: a you know what I mean, because your dad's not
Speaker 1: a racist? Yeah, and my cousins are. My cousin has
Speaker 1: kids that are half black, half white. You know, it's
Speaker 1: like you know this is Oh, I have a good friend,
Speaker 1: family friend who who's her husband. She's white and her
Speaker 1: husband's black. But there's been people in other just not
Speaker 1: in their lives that they care about that say ship,
Speaker 1: And I'm like, what, why do you care? It's not
Speaker 1: your life. I just feel like it's like there are
Speaker 1: so many interracial couples now I know that I don't care.
Speaker 1: I just assume that you're an interracial Yeah. Yea. Honestly,
Speaker 1: that makes me so happy to hear. I was hoping
Speaker 1: because I wanted to ask you that question. I was
Speaker 1: really hoping that it was like, no one gives a ship,
Speaker 1: no one, and if they you, I don't care. Well,
Speaker 1: we we did a live God, I'll never fore this
Speaker 1: Kart and I did a live show. Uh, and I
Speaker 1: forget what city was in, But do you remember this guy,
Speaker 1: hot black guy came up on stage because we did
Speaker 1: the advice we did, like a serious sit down advice
Speaker 1: like who was a serious problem. We're not gonna joke
Speaker 1: about it. We want to like start trying. Actually, no,
Speaker 1: it wasn't because I remember the oh ma, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't know, but the it was a black guy
Speaker 1: and he's like, my my wife is white. And you know,
Speaker 1: when I first met her parents, it was under the
Speaker 1: they were under the impression that we were just friends
Speaker 1: and they were so kind to me, and we had
Speaker 1: dinner at their house and it was great. And then
Speaker 1: a couple of months later they said we're dating. And
Speaker 1: then when we got engaged, she told them and they
Speaker 1: had a yard sale and sold all of her things,
Speaker 1: and my friends came to the yard sale to buy
Speaker 1: her ship from her parents, who were racist pieces of
Speaker 1: ship and didn't want like they wouldn't. They disowned her
Speaker 1: their daughter because she was dating a black man. I'm like, wow,
Speaker 1: I didn't know that hat and I was like, what
Speaker 1: the fuck? People are definitely definitely racist. It's out there
Speaker 1: for sure, Like when I say, oh, not New York
Speaker 1: as much, but yeah, yeah, it's definitely out there. And
Speaker 1: for sure. I if there's anything that like this political
Speaker 1: climate has taught me, it's like, oh everything that I
Speaker 1: thought was like, you know, yeah, it's like alive and well,
Speaker 1: um but uh yeah, I don't know. Nobody has any
Speaker 1: that's awesome. Yeah it's not. It's like not even an
Speaker 1: issue at all. Um, thank god, yeah, thank you, because
Speaker 1: it's that's such an a net, like that's so good.
Speaker 1: Get the funk out of here. Yeah, you know, I
Speaker 1: don't want kids, though, I don't have no interest in that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: does he? I don't know. I love there for four
Speaker 1: years and you really like someone to leave you alone? No, no, no,
Speaker 1: it's not that. It's just like we I think we
Speaker 1: both have vacillating opinions. Is that oscillating? Vacilate? What is
Speaker 1: the I don't know. I would say you probably mean
Speaker 1: oscillating because like a fan ascillating change, like an oscillating fan. Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like we um our opinion changes and uh and
Speaker 1: it's uh, you know, it's like one day we'll see
Speaker 1: an Instagram post and be like, oh, I'd be nice
Speaker 1: to have a kid. But then the next day I
Speaker 1: know for a fact that if I had a kid,
Speaker 1: comedy would take a back seat. Like it's not I
Speaker 1: I'm too fucking tired to have a child and pursue comedy. Sure,
Speaker 1: of course, two dogs. I'm too tired to have two dogs,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? And I uh, so I
Speaker 1: know that my comedy would take the back seat, and
Speaker 1: he'd be on the road and I'd be so fucking resentful,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So, and I know I
Speaker 1: know that about myself. So unless Mike Smarrier is fucking
Speaker 1: just skyrocketing. I have no interest. And besides, I grew
Speaker 1: up like doing that, you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 1: you were a mom already kind of yeah, and Lane,
Speaker 1: I was in for a while and I'm like, I
Speaker 1: just don't have any said always the fucking woman that
Speaker 1: takes care of the kid. Is it just because she
Speaker 1: can breastfeed it? I mean, is that? Why? Is that
Speaker 1: why it's always assumed that the woman is the one
Speaker 1: and the guides on the road. I think biologically, you
Speaker 1: you have to like I think you. I don't think.
Speaker 1: I don't think your body, like your instincts, yeah, to
Speaker 1: like just leave a kid, right, But like why why
Speaker 1: you know? I know that they're stay at home dad's
Speaker 1: but why I don't know? You don't send the law
Speaker 1: first husband is a stay at home dad. That's why
Speaker 1: she's one of my favorites. I mean, my dream truly
Speaker 1: is like I would actually have a kid at this
Speaker 1: point if I could convince someone to give up on
Speaker 1: their dreams. And I'm like, I'm totally fine paying for
Speaker 1: everything and going out and working and if I just
Speaker 1: come home and like there's a hop me all waiting
Speaker 1: for me and the house is clean, that I truly
Speaker 1: sounds amazing that honestly, it doesn't sounds good because it is.
Speaker 1: It's it is true. That's why men wanted to because
Speaker 1: that's the role that women played forever though, And I
Speaker 1: think it's interesting though that like men love that deal.
Speaker 1: I feel like back in the day, but like you
Speaker 1: do need it, you do need like when you're as
Speaker 1: an adult, like I do I need someone to help
Speaker 1: me to clean like my apartment, and like because right now,
Speaker 1: like my my like day to day life is in shambles,
Speaker 1: like my career going great, but like truly I feel
Speaker 1: my house is a mess. I feel like I'm constantly
Speaker 1: like not being as good of a dog mom as
Speaker 1: I want to be, even though I'm like doing a
Speaker 1: great job. It's I feel like sometimes like I'll like
Speaker 1: I fell asleep one night without feeding Alfred, and like
Speaker 1: he didn't give a ship because dogs don't have any
Speaker 1: concept of time, but like it made me want to
Speaker 1: CROs like I was. I cried because I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm such a mom even though I'm not at all,
Speaker 1: and like he didn't give a ship and he was
Speaker 1: really hungry. He would have pawed me in the face
Speaker 1: and told me, but it's just this constant, constant stress.
Speaker 1: So like when James helps me, it feels so much
Speaker 1: better by the way you get over that that whole
Speaker 1: like dog mom guilt. That's like the first that you
Speaker 1: have a dog, Like you're like, I'm a fucking terrible
Speaker 1: dog mom. But then you're like you think about it
Speaker 1: and you're like, well, you would have been fucking way
Speaker 1: worse off with somebody else, you know, Like I think
Speaker 1: about it with Bama and I'm like, first of all,
Speaker 1: she's such a fucking maniac. Anybody else would her down. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So I'm like, you're lucky to be alive, bitch, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. And she's my best friend. Yeah. So, um,
Speaker 1: here's the question for both of you, because you both
Speaker 1: have your boys into the lives close, how do you
Speaker 1: funk with dogs in the house, Because when when we
Speaker 1: were babysitting Alfred, there was no chance. I told you
Speaker 1: you you just have to close the door. Did but
Speaker 1: then the crying and I felt so I didn't just
Speaker 1: well you feel crying, Yeah, of course crying. I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: I told you I was, because like you know, it's
Speaker 1: the environs. I mean about a neighbor like it was loud.
Speaker 1: I didn't want him to. I don't know if he's downstairs.
Speaker 1: I don't think they're going to hear the crying downstairs.
Speaker 1: I just wanted to see if I could do if
Speaker 1: we could do it. I mean, because we were considering
Speaker 1: getting a dog. That's why I'm so glad I got
Speaker 1: to watch Alfred. But Alfred's also came still a baby. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean if he if you get an older dog,
Speaker 1: they're going to be they're not going to give a
Speaker 1: shit about that. Alfred is also like has um a
Speaker 1: lot of personality. I've never had a dog that was
Speaker 1: like so yeah, like so human. He looks at you
Speaker 1: and you know what you feel like, it's you have
Speaker 1: to do fun training, you know what I mean. Sounds disgusting.
Speaker 1: It's not you're not sucking the dog, but like you,
Speaker 1: it's you have some people got real bumps. Like we
Speaker 1: always we always go into the bedroom, right, we closed
Speaker 1: the door and the dogs just like go away, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. And you also have two dogs,
Speaker 1: so they're friend they can keep each other, coming each
Speaker 1: other company. But we did I will say this, okay,
Speaker 1: we there's a command that my both my dogs now
Speaker 1: let's go to your place, right, And if I say
Speaker 1: go to your place, they go to their beds. There's
Speaker 1: two separate beds. And so we tried fucking on the
Speaker 1: couch last week and uh, we were like fucking while
Speaker 1: watching Stranger Things right casual and uh and Seton's like
Speaker 1: literally right about to come, and Charlie comes over and
Speaker 1: starts like pawing, and I hear, Seton, go go to
Speaker 1: your place, like the funniest talking I've ever go to
Speaker 1: plus talk please please love a cock to your place.
Speaker 1: I was trying. I'm trying to go to my place,
Speaker 1: you go to yours. I was like, I know, I
Speaker 1: can't laugh right now because he's about to come. But
Speaker 1: I'm I'm I'm like holding it in, you know what
Speaker 1: i mean, because we're sucking dog styles weakens um the
Speaker 1: tears are like, I'm I'm ryan laughing, you know, I cannot.
Speaker 1: I couldn't even keep it. It was so go to
Speaker 1: your place. I love that gosh. I mean, yeah, we've
Speaker 1: we've e been fucked, like with Alfred in the room
Speaker 1: and just like literally swatting him away because he would
Speaker 1: It has to get to that point eventually, So yeah,
Speaker 1: we just do whatever. I mean, it doesn't really Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know, you get just like anything, you just
Speaker 1: figured out how did how did you fuck? I mean
Speaker 1: I've I've always find a way to funk. That's one
Speaker 1: thing I'm find Yeah, even when I had a roommate
Speaker 1: in college in the same room, Yeah, I would just
Speaker 1: find a way to funk with her in the room.
Speaker 1: I'm like, you're not leaving, so so I'm sucking. I'm
Speaker 1: putting up a curtain, and this is how happening, you know.
Speaker 1: It's like, I'm sorry, I don't know what to I
Speaker 1: don't know what. It's a basic human need. Okay, It's
Speaker 1: like he is, you just figure it out. You figure
Speaker 1: it out, all right, And so I think we have
Speaker 1: we gotta wrap up in a second. But I wanted
Speaker 1: to come full circle, like what what made you finally
Speaker 1: decide to like go to therapy as an adult because
Speaker 1: you said you've been in therapy for six years alcoholism?
Speaker 1: Like what what's how did you seem? You seem very
Speaker 1: You're very together. You're a person that I feel like
Speaker 1: your friends go to you when they need some good
Speaker 1: life advice. That's so true. Yeah, you're saying you're like
Speaker 1: a very fancy corrella devil, like a blonde Corela devil.
Speaker 1: I feel like, Yeah, Rose was like a corrella devil.
Speaker 1: I'm a very fancy corrella. I love that. Um. I
Speaker 1: I started going to therapy because I was with an um,
Speaker 1: a guy who was such a bad alcoholic that and
Speaker 1: he was really abusive. UM. He would physically, physically, um,
Speaker 1: emotionally verbally, the worst person I've ever been with in
Speaker 1: my life. And I couldn't I couldn't get out of it. Um.
Speaker 1: You know why I couldn't get out of it though,
Speaker 1: was because he was I wanted so badly. I was
Speaker 1: terrified that he was going to UM relapse and I
Speaker 1: and I was like, this is this is it does? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was trying to save him and it and it
Speaker 1: didn't have to do with love. It wasn't like it
Speaker 1: was pure codependency. So I was like, I'm gonna I'm
Speaker 1: a hundred percent gonna just like go to therapy throughout
Speaker 1: this so that even if this relationship doesn't work out,
Speaker 1: I'm going to be with this guy. Like I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be doing it consciously, you know, like even if my
Speaker 1: life is totally fucked up, I have to be conscious
Speaker 1: about it. I have to, because I don't think there's
Speaker 1: anything wrong with making unhealthy decisions as long as you
Speaker 1: know why you're doing it, self aware and when you
Speaker 1: learn and that's become a better person slowly, Yeah, I would.
Speaker 1: I remember him getting back from the hospital having like
Speaker 1: seizures on my floor and calling a friend and being like,
Speaker 1: I haven't I have a therapy of him in an hour,
Speaker 1: please come watch him and going to therapy and being
Speaker 1: like and screaming and being like just like sobbing and
Speaker 1: it was like, you know, really trying to like get
Speaker 1: my ship together. Did therapy help you get out of
Speaker 1: that relationship? Um? Honestly, he well, what helped me get
Speaker 1: out of it was that he actually hit me. And
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, ship, I'm gonna because that's so
Speaker 1: the first that was the only time. He didn't know
Speaker 1: it had happened before. But you know, I did the
Speaker 1: thing where while I hit him first, like I slapped him,
Speaker 1: and then he slapped me back, and my head hit
Speaker 1: the wall and I was like bleeding, and I was like, well,
Speaker 1: you know, he we hit back. He hit back, so
Speaker 1: you know, I was like, that doesn't really count, which,
Speaker 1: by the way, it does. Um. And if you have
Speaker 1: to hit a person or you feel that you have to,
Speaker 1: you're you're already you need to get the funk out.
Speaker 1: But no one should be hitting anyone in relationship right
Speaker 1: for ever, unless in self defense, unless your boxer. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and uh it was and then um, the night that
Speaker 1: it had happened where he he really went off was
Speaker 1: I was just like, I'm out of here, I'm done.
Speaker 1: And how long were you in that relationship? Um? I
Speaker 1: was in that relationship for two years. He was in
Speaker 1: that relationship for a year. Oh yeah, because I was
Speaker 1: like his nurse for the first year, and I thought
Speaker 1: that that downted. Yeah, but that's a different understandable. That's
Speaker 1: why therapy so important, such an important self reflection of
Speaker 1: like and getting you to come to your own If
Speaker 1: you get your self esteem from like helping other people
Speaker 1: in their lives, um, you might want to like take
Speaker 1: a look at first of all, read my favorite book
Speaker 1: in the world, Codependent No More, which will change your life.
Speaker 1: And uh, it's it just teaches you about like why
Speaker 1: why you need that, you know what I mean? And
Speaker 1: like when I left him, I didn't even know what
Speaker 1: I liked. I didn't know where I got my last team.
Speaker 1: I didn't know what I like to do. It's like
Speaker 1: how I got into comedy. It I got read that book. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's fantastic, it's really That's what I don't need to rate? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Where can Sometimes I worry that I don't care enough?
Speaker 1: Where can we find you online? Um? You can find
Speaker 1: me on Instagram at rosebud Baker and on Twitter at
Speaker 1: rosebud Baker. And if I may, I what, Um, I'm
Speaker 1: headlining Carolines on Broadway on December twelve. Awesome seven seven
Speaker 1: o'clock or yeah seven, Look on the website. Look on
Speaker 1: the website. UM tickets are available with promo code rosebud
Speaker 1: Um discount tickets. So please come to that. It's gonna
Speaker 1: be so fun. Wait is that the one that I'm
Speaker 1: opening for you? I don't know? Are you as I
Speaker 1: asked you too? Yeah, we're not going to Australia, Yes,
Speaker 1: all right, and we are. We are in the future, guys. Yeah, worry.
Speaker 1: That makes me so happy. So Karin's gonna be there too.
Speaker 1: I was like, wait, is that Karin, Mike Cannon and
Speaker 1: Rob Hayes. That's awesome. It's going to be December twelve,
Speaker 1: and I hope you're dressed like a tin man like
Speaker 1: you are now, um, you have a tin man hat.
Speaker 1: I'm dressed sort of tin man, sort of sister wife.
Speaker 1: We'll see. Yes, yeah, I love that. Well. Thank you
Speaker 1: so much Rosebud for sitting down to us. This has
Speaker 1: been guys. We fuck the anti slot Chaming podcast. We'll
Speaker 1: talk to you next Friday. Are you tune to the
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