Speaker 1: Welcome to Guys We Fucked Guys We Guys book. I'm Christina,
Speaker 1: I'm Karren. We're sorry about last night the anti slut
Speaker 1: shaming podcast. I never stopped. Hey, fucker's Welcome to another
Speaker 1: episode of Guys We Fucked the anti slut shaming and
Speaker 1: sexual assault podcast. I'm Christina. I changed it. Well, I
Speaker 1: mean no, I'm sorry, society changed it. I'm Karn. Hey,
Speaker 1: when in doubt, don't pull your dick out. Oh I
Speaker 1: thought I was gonna say when in doubt they did it,
Speaker 1: would in doubt believe them. They're probably telling the trude
Speaker 1: statistical who they are. Hey, come see us live you guys.
Speaker 1: Oh l a Sonny. Los Angeles were almost sold out
Speaker 1: for that show, by the way, Sorry, I saw that
Speaker 1: a side of my name. I was just so excited
Speaker 1: to get to talk about sexual assault some more that
Speaker 1: I forgot we were doing this kind of trust stuff
Speaker 1: on the podcast. Yeah, so we're almost sold out Sunday,
Speaker 1: November PM, Los Angeles in the Comedy Store in the
Speaker 1: main room, So get your tickets now. It's gonna be
Speaker 1: Christina myself and then some special guests who you might
Speaker 1: know from the podcast, and it's called Fucked a book
Speaker 1: Mitzvah jews Hey, New York City. Saturday, December two, Wendy
Speaker 1: Starling and I are co hosting Glamour Puss at Zinc Bar.
Speaker 1: It is going to be an incredible show with the
Speaker 1: lineup of some of my favorite people that you've heard
Speaker 1: on this podcast. It's at seven thirty pm in the
Speaker 1: West Village Beautiful. Yeah, who's already Who got a boner
Speaker 1: from that? At The Zinc Bar is a beautiful jazz bar.
Speaker 1: It's one of my favorite places in the city, and
Speaker 1: it's a fun show. You don't want to miss it.
Speaker 1: H Nashville, Tennessee, Friday December eight and Saturday December ninth,
Speaker 1: while Type Monday are Problem She Checked Friday December eight
Speaker 1: and Saturday, December nine. Christina and I are co headlining
Speaker 1: zanyes Uh. This is the most stand up you'll you'll
Speaker 1: ever have seen us, Donne unless you've snuck into our apartments.
Speaker 1: Um so, it's gonna be very fun. You've ever heard
Speaker 1: me in a shower, you've probably seen me do a
Speaker 1: long time little like holiday present for you guys. And
Speaker 1: then Seattle, Washington on New Year's Eve, I am co
Speaker 1: headlining Parlor Live with comedian Steve Byrne, who I fucking
Speaker 1: love some of He has some of the best jokes
Speaker 1: that explain the man woman relationship that I've ever heard.
Speaker 1: Very excited. We'll put the link to all these things
Speaker 1: so you can get tickets in the description of the podcast,
Speaker 1: and then we'll also be tweeting them and instagramming them
Speaker 1: on social media. Oh and the book competition. Oh yes, oh,
Speaker 1: the big winner of the book competition. Thank you so
Speaker 1: much for supporting us with sales of Fucked. I mean,
Speaker 1: don't stop buying the book. It's still on to keep buying.
Speaker 1: It's like real good and good it for you, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah uh. And the big winner is the Pacific, which
Speaker 1: we're gonna be at. We want to find if you
Speaker 1: live in the Pacific north Northwest. Basically it's California, Seattle,
Speaker 1: and Oregon. Yeah, so any in that area if there's
Speaker 1: like we're gonna hit the major cities just organically from
Speaker 1: bookings that our agents are getting us, but if there's
Speaker 1: a place where you feel either it could really use
Speaker 1: a show, like guys, we Fucked to come and do
Speaker 1: the free show that we promised you were gonna make
Speaker 1: good on this um or a place that you just
Speaker 1: you really think there's a cool spot that we would
Speaker 1: like because we want to kind of do a weird spot.
Speaker 1: Should see a couple hundred people. So it can't be
Speaker 1: your house and unless you're a millionaire, yeah, so send us,
Speaker 1: So send us a message. We're looking for kind of
Speaker 1: the opinions of the fucker's and I know everyone's just
Speaker 1: gonna email and like my town. Yeah, but I don't
Speaker 1: want it to be San Francisco, Los Ange. If you
Speaker 1: live in a major city, it's not happening. So if
Speaker 1: you live in a smaller city, but that's more than
Speaker 1: like ten people, let us know about that city that
Speaker 1: we might not know about a town. Maybe even yea
Speaker 1: to a town. A lot of people ask we didn't
Speaker 1: make the New York Times bestseller list. I didn't realize
Speaker 1: there's only five books per category for that. That's and
Speaker 1: the fact that we were considered. I'm very excited. The
Speaker 1: book sales were amazing though, and HarperCollins, our publisher, was like,
Speaker 1: holy sh it, you guys are the sales are great
Speaker 1: and the those lists have a lot more to do
Speaker 1: with multiple factors. Sales is off the obviously one of them,
Speaker 1: and we we did crush that. So thank you all
Speaker 1: so much for buying the book and for emailing us
Speaker 1: and tweeting us about it and messaging us that you
Speaker 1: liked it. I'm glad. I'm glad you liked it, right,
Speaker 1: And I mean one of the five books was Hillary Clinton.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, but we did. Yeah, And we had a
Speaker 1: number in our head of the amount of books that
Speaker 1: we wanted to sell and we've treated it. We trampled
Speaker 1: that number. So that's all we can ask for. And
Speaker 1: also the book is great, So uh, we're gonna do
Speaker 1: some ads real quick. But if you had outline to listen,
Speaker 1: you just pressed the fast forward. Hey, you got an ass.
Speaker 1: Everyone has an ass, and you gotta make your ass
Speaker 1: look good, even if you jeans overtop what you got underneath.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about underwear. You knew that you knew where
Speaker 1: I was going. Me Andy's makes feel good andys your
Speaker 1: but will be proud to where they will be the
Speaker 1: most comfortable pair of underwear you will ever own. And
Speaker 1: and to check it out yourself, you just go to
Speaker 1: meds dot com slash GWF with tons of styles and
Speaker 1: patterns that choose from for both men and ladies. Me
Speaker 1: ands will have the perfect fit for any personality. The
Speaker 1: means feeling is unmatched because they use a naturally soft
Speaker 1: fabric that is three times softer than cotton. For a
Speaker 1: limited time only, check out Me and The's first ever
Speaker 1: glow in the dark print lights out. Uh why not
Speaker 1: update you underwear and glow at the same time. I've
Speaker 1: if I've asked myself that so many times, if and
Speaker 1: if the underwear isn't your thing. If underwear is not
Speaker 1: your thing, Me and He's also makes the softest sucks
Speaker 1: in the fucking world. Every pair of underwear that I
Speaker 1: have put on my body for the past year has
Speaker 1: exclusively been me und It's because they hip it to
Speaker 1: us every time they get a new pattern. But honestly,
Speaker 1: it is the most comfortable underwear I've ever owned. And
Speaker 1: it's not bulky, it's it's truly exceptional underwear. And I
Speaker 1: mean that from the bottom of my heart to gef
Speaker 1: the best and swaft this underwear and socks. You will
Speaker 1: have a own free shipping and satisfaction guarantee. Go to
Speaker 1: mes dot com slash g WF. That's Me and the
Speaker 1: dot com slash g WF we get it. Holiday shopping
Speaker 1: can be tough. I was like, what, But thanks to Movement,
Speaker 1: all that gift giving anxiety can disappear with the press
Speaker 1: of a button. Oh, I was gonna make a gun joke. There,
Speaker 1: I was gonna make a clip joke. All right, they're
Speaker 1: gonna love this by It's great. Uh. These watches make
Speaker 1: the perfect purchase for just about anyone in your life,
Speaker 1: guy or girl. Well, that's not inclusive. And remember they
Speaker 1: start at only dollars. You have heard me talk about Movement,
Speaker 1: and I'm sure you've got yourself a watch by now.
Speaker 1: So now let's finish your holiday shopping and get a
Speaker 1: Movement watch for someone on your list. The holiday shopping
Speaker 1: season is here, and with Movement you can skip the crowds,
Speaker 1: which that is a plus, uh, and standing in crazy
Speaker 1: lines and find a gift they'll love at prices that
Speaker 1: beat department stores. Movement watches start at just nine dollars.
Speaker 1: At a department store, you're looking at four hundred to
Speaker 1: five hundred bucks for a watch that doesn't suck. Movement
Speaker 1: figured out that by selling watches online, they were able
Speaker 1: to cut out the middleman and retail markup, providing the
Speaker 1: best possible price in all honesty, I mean you're gonna
Speaker 1: be probably be buying a lot of gifts in the
Speaker 1: hundred dollar range for people that you love but don't
Speaker 1: know anything about. So may I suggest a watch? Right,
Speaker 1: that's something we all have, unless you're like it's like
Speaker 1: a cuckoo relative who thinks time is just a constraint,
Speaker 1: which like they're not like wrong, Like, yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: you get you can get them a watch. Uh, it
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. Uh, classic design, quality construction, and styled minimalism
Speaker 1: at such great prices, Movement watches make wonderful holiday gifts.
Speaker 1: Over one million watches have sold in over a hundred
Speaker 1: sixty countries that many um so get fifteen percent off
Speaker 1: today with free shipping and free returns by going to
Speaker 1: Movement dot com. They spell it m v mt dot
Speaker 1: com slash g WF. This watch has a clean design
Speaker 1: and it makes a great fashion statement. Now it's time
Speaker 1: to step up your watch game. Go to mvy empty
Speaker 1: dot com slash g d WF oops and join the movement.
Speaker 1: You know what it is if I see one more
Speaker 1: fucking tweet asking us whether our god damn uh discount
Speaker 1: code is but presind but it's literally always always g WF.
Speaker 1: I honestly want to make them more complicated. That's not
Speaker 1: gonna help. Third, the companies are gonna want that. Don't
Speaker 1: like it, but it will be It will be so
Speaker 1: as satisfactory to us, because it's like the listening kids.
Speaker 1: If we want to make a point about the millennials,
Speaker 1: if we want to if we want to do if
Speaker 1: we want to do better, we're you know, we're we're
Speaker 1: all busy yelling at old white man. You know what,
Speaker 1: an old white man has never once tweeted me and
Speaker 1: asked me what the fucking discount code was. So I'm
Speaker 1: going to say that that's actually a very accurate point.
Speaker 1: You know, it's safety. Maybe they know what the weird
Speaker 1: wine button is. You know, hey, stop looking at your
Speaker 1: fucking phone for the time. You look at your phone
Speaker 1: for everything. What am gonna eat? Who's gonna pick me
Speaker 1: up to take me to my friend's house? Who liked
Speaker 1: my thing on social media? Maybe for the time, and
Speaker 1: you look at your own body. The movie watching your
Speaker 1: own body, it's like an eight minute now whatever, I
Speaker 1: don't care. Oh my god, Alfred had his birthday party. Yes,
Speaker 1: my little baby, Sir, Alfred Hitchcock had his first birthday
Speaker 1: party h as usual. I maybe took it a little
Speaker 1: too far far enough, it was far enough, but it
Speaker 1: was good. It was um yeah, I footed quite bill
Speaker 1: and uh, but it was great. Yeah, but it was great.
Speaker 1: I let Alfred picked the theme through his actions. Obviously
Speaker 1: he didn't tell me he can because like me, shoot
Speaker 1: on one of these pronouns and that's the one I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna go with. I would have done something like
Speaker 1: very avant garde. But Alfred just loves this show, the
Speaker 1: hunt on that geo. He loves this show. It's his
Speaker 1: favorite show. He like, if you follow me on social media,
Speaker 1: you know Alfred, this is a dog who truly watches TV.
Speaker 1: I've never seen an animal concentrate uh and pay attention.
Speaker 1: Really does and be still, I age. He was sleeping
Speaker 1: on the couch when my baby Sadam and I put
Speaker 1: on this there's a show on fucking Netflix that it's
Speaker 1: like puppies and kittens And I'm like what And then
Speaker 1: I put it on and he immediately perked up and
Speaker 1: watched the whole thing. I'm like, what you thinking one
Speaker 1: of them was going on? Yeah, he won't stop looking
Speaker 1: at them, so we did it. We did a wild
Speaker 1: animal jungle theme. Shout out to Puppy Party's NYC. If
Speaker 1: you're mentally like me and you want to throw your
Speaker 1: dog a party, great place. Um, And you know what,
Speaker 1: I never would have got to meet all my friends
Speaker 1: dogs had it not been for Alfred's Sir Alfred Hitchcock's
Speaker 1: birthday party. That's a great yeah, because I see all
Speaker 1: these dogs that our friends have on social media, and
Speaker 1: to meet them in real life, honestly, was like meeting celebrities. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because you hear about them and you see pictures of
Speaker 1: them all the time. They're so cute. You just want
Speaker 1: to cuttle the ship out of them. Aunt. But then
Speaker 1: when you're crazy friend throws a very expensive dog party,
Speaker 1: it kind of guilts everyone into, you know, spending the
Speaker 1: money on that cab to take their dog out of
Speaker 1: the house. There was big dog, small dogs, medium dogs.
Speaker 1: It was great. Uh. They we played dog musical chairs.
Speaker 1: There was a hand painted dogcake by dog Cakes for dogs.
Speaker 1: I mean, none of these people are made me like
Speaker 1: asking me to say this, but I just like truly
Speaker 1: had such a wonderful experience. It was How was a
Speaker 1: party with like how many dogs with There was like
Speaker 1: eight dogs there and everything ran in a baby so smoothly. Yeah,
Speaker 1: no ships on the floor, the ship outside. More smoothly
Speaker 1: than any human party I've ever been to since from
Speaker 1: childhood to adulthood. No one, no fights, no crying, no injuries.
Speaker 1: And the dogs are so honest with each other because
Speaker 1: they don't like you. They just don't talk to you.
Speaker 1: They'll sniff your ass and they'll get a get a
Speaker 1: picture who you are as a person or a dog,
Speaker 1: and then they'll be like, yeah, I'm good. It was wonderful.
Speaker 1: And then uh, and CBS did come because they heard
Speaker 1: I was like, you would have pressed that your dog
Speaker 1: the puppy party place was like us figured. They said, well,
Speaker 1: CBS has been working on a story on us, and
Speaker 1: they said your party seems um a little over the top.
Speaker 1: Would you mind as CBS came and I said, And
Speaker 1: then I said, can I plug that I'm a comedian
Speaker 1: And they said yes, and then I said, you're on.
Speaker 1: They plugged. I think they plugged the guys. We fucked
Speaker 1: to CBS because the girl ultimately like she was a
Speaker 1: young woman and she didn't realize at the time who
Speaker 1: we were. But then when she went back to write
Speaker 1: the story, She's like, oh, I've heard of you guys before.
Speaker 1: So there's a link in my instagram if you guys
Speaker 1: want to watch it. I will leave it up because
Speaker 1: it's the segment is is adorable. There was a ball crawl.
Speaker 1: I mean, come on, I've never seen I just like,
Speaker 1: let Alfred Power eat three pieces of cake because he
Speaker 1: ate his own. And then I guess some dogs aren't
Speaker 1: as into food. I don't get that. And then he
Speaker 1: just raced to the next plate and in the next plate,
Speaker 1: and then I was like, when do I when of
Speaker 1: my bad parents? But he was fine. He didn't throw
Speaker 1: up or anything. He just was very full and very tired.
Speaker 1: And then James was like, he's so heavy right now
Speaker 1: because he's so much cake, and it's cake. Yeah, it's fine.
Speaker 1: You can have one crazy food day. Just my mom
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, just like a human can have one
Speaker 1: crazy food day, a dog can have one crazy food
Speaker 1: day and be totally fine. Yeah. So it was great.
Speaker 1: I'm glad even had a great time. It was very
Speaker 1: it was just everything I ever dreamed of corn And
Speaker 1: I went to uh last yesterday, we're recording this couple
Speaker 1: of days before it's getting released. Two Glamours Women of
Speaker 1: the Year, we were invited to their first ever summit
Speaker 1: and it was it was a summer and then it
Speaker 1: was a Women of the Year Awards, which I've heard of,
Speaker 1: I know it's been going yeah, and they were like,
Speaker 1: you can walk the red carpet, and I was like,
Speaker 1: shut up, really okay, but the seminars from eight to four.
Speaker 1: The red carpet was somewhere like five thirty, and so
Speaker 1: we had to have a makeup come over our home
Speaker 1: separately at six am, when I was very worried because
Speaker 1: I didn't think I was going to get up because
Speaker 1: remember that time I missed the flight. Yeah, but I
Speaker 1: mean the makeup oars would be buzzing your buzzer, yeah.
Speaker 1: And Stephen was here, so he'd be like, fucking get up,
Speaker 1: which was like so with safety net, and I was
Speaker 1: just worried I was gonna be cranky. Means I don't
Speaker 1: talk in the mornings, just like you are a little
Speaker 1: scary in the morning. Scary, look I do. I just
Speaker 1: be extra careful around you in the morning. And I
Speaker 1: was nervous. But then so my alarm clock on my
Speaker 1: phone randomly picked a song from my IT teams library,
Speaker 1: and for ever reason, it picked some nights by fun
Speaker 1: and so for the past week I could have easily
Speaker 1: changed it, but I forgot every time I set my alarm,
Speaker 1: and then every fucking morning I would be waking up
Speaker 1: to some and I'm like, da oh God, that's terrifying,
Speaker 1: horrible way to wake up. So the night before this,
Speaker 1: you know, I had to get up that early. I
Speaker 1: put Beyonce's Formation on and I was like, I hope
Speaker 1: there's lot enough to wake me up, and boy, oh
Speaker 1: boy got up on the first alarm I set four.
Speaker 1: I didn't need him, only needed one there pow or Beyonce,
Speaker 1: motherfucker's that's awesome. Yeah. The I mean the the summit,
Speaker 1: which was like the talks in the day were very good.
Speaker 1: We heard from a lot of women we didn't hear about.
Speaker 1: But then, I mean, then there were some things that
Speaker 1: were just like I worried they would be like like
Speaker 1: phrases like I've just like never fed into a box.
Speaker 1: I started taking said like that. I'm like, okay, all right,
Speaker 1: I just I like the lifetime of people like I
Speaker 1: started I started just taking notes on crazy things that
Speaker 1: were happening. I left my last job to be a dancer,
Speaker 1: and I left this job and maybe I'll leave the
Speaker 1: stage right now. I don't love the word failure. And
Speaker 1: then I said, like, that's a failure. Who was failing
Speaker 1: at dealing with their failure? But I, oh, that's like
Speaker 1: a matrix thing to say, Karin, you can't define me.
Speaker 1: There was a lot of you can't define me. There
Speaker 1: was a lot of pause breaks and fresh and fears
Speaker 1: were used a lot. Yeah, and the women can do
Speaker 1: it notion, and well there was many times. Karin came
Speaker 1: a little later, and I'm glad she did because the
Speaker 1: beginning there was I forget what it was. And there
Speaker 1: was a lot of amazing UH speakers that all want
Speaker 1: to get to because I took notes on I took
Speaker 1: notes on the great stuff. I just know I just
Speaker 1: made fun of people in my note. And then when
Speaker 1: Krane got here, the editor in chiefs chief of glenmor
Speaker 1: magazine came to the stage. It was about like an
Speaker 1: hour into the eight hour summit, and she's like, okay, guys,
Speaker 1: we're gonna we're gonna welcome the first man onto our stage.
Speaker 1: And then it's silence in the theater and you just
Speaker 1: your kringo great. It was no one thought it was
Speaker 1: funny except me, but you know, you get the giggles
Speaker 1: and you're really it's like the last thing you should
Speaker 1: be doing right now is laughing. I almost had an aneurysm.
Speaker 1: I was like, I was trying so hard to contain.
Speaker 1: And then it was fucking Joe Biden is and his wife. Uh,
Speaker 1: And that was really cool because some chick asked him
Speaker 1: about Anita Hill and I was like, yes, bitch asked
Speaker 1: him about Anita Hill, right, and I mean yeah. Then
Speaker 1: at that point when Joe Biden came out, I did
Speaker 1: rescind my uh. But then he just kept talking, even
Speaker 1: though there was two other women on the stage that
Speaker 1: I was more interested in hearing from. And then now
Speaker 1: I put back into effect my uh yeah yeah, and
Speaker 1: yeah he didn't say anything wrong. But it's also like,
Speaker 1: you know when you're like just having a nice women's
Speaker 1: day and then a man ruins. Some guy comes in
Speaker 1: to try and tell you, like how to be the
Speaker 1: best woman you can be, and you're like, how would
Speaker 1: you know? You're literally not a woman. It's like it's
Speaker 1: like if a a a flutist. They went to fucking floutist, floutist,
Speaker 1: A pianist, na ship a violin player, A pianist is
Speaker 1: correct keeness Yeah, um uh not even that. It just
Speaker 1: makes me giggle. A piano player will say, went to Juilliard,
Speaker 1: play the piano. It's like him tell any how to
Speaker 1: hit a baseball. It's like, just don't just play your pianos,
Speaker 1: like this is not your area of expertise. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: you know the guy who's like two into anti rape
Speaker 1: culture and you're like, all right, you already said that
Speaker 1: like five times. Yeah. The only reason I didn't I
Speaker 1: just like I always give Joe Biden a couple of
Speaker 1: extra through a couple of extra things at him, like
Speaker 1: as far as like chances or whatever, because he had
Speaker 1: he had a bad life. Oh so his I didn't
Speaker 1: realize his first wife and child died in a car accident.
Speaker 1: I knew that and then and then you know it
Speaker 1: was reminded of it. And then to have your your
Speaker 1: child then later in life die of cancer. I mean,
Speaker 1: they're very too much. The fact that he was as
Speaker 1: cheery and and concerned he you know what I liked
Speaker 1: about what he what his what he said was that
Speaker 1: he said rape. He said women are getting raped, women
Speaker 1: are in the workplace and they're getting sexually harassed, and
Speaker 1: no woman should have That's that's not the expectation we
Speaker 1: want to set. We want to change the culture. He
Speaker 1: did say a lot of stuff. I'm like, it's so
Speaker 1: nice to hear somebody actually say the word rape and
Speaker 1: say the word grab, grab you. And then he went
Speaker 1: to say that he was saw a strong thurman take
Speaker 1: a picture with a woman and he patted and then
Speaker 1: his wife like shut him up. And I was like,
Speaker 1: what was no, what was he gonna say? But I
Speaker 1: googled it and it's I mean, apparently he's he's a
Speaker 1: piece of ship and it's on the internet. I mean,
Speaker 1: you know, there's it's not like a secret. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't. I think maybe he was just
Speaker 1: he was just going off on too like a tangent.
Speaker 1: Maybe I don't think. I don't think his wife was
Speaker 1: like saying like, don't say that. I think it was
Speaker 1: more like he just kept talking. He really did keep talking.
Speaker 1: But there's a lot of politician or whatever. You know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was really really cool though, to be in the
Speaker 1: same room with the most brilliant minds. Diane von Furstenberg
Speaker 1: was interviewed by Very what us this was like the
Speaker 1: day of sexy older women like sixties and seventies, sexy,
Speaker 1: stylish feeling it uh Diane von First and Burgh is,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I want to be her that and
Speaker 1: and Sheila Evans was the head of documentaries HBO. I
Speaker 1: never I didn't know she was. The name was a
Speaker 1: little familiar. She did, she say, oh she was. I
Speaker 1: think she's like seventy okay, So she won very sexy
Speaker 1: just in the way obviously the way the way she
Speaker 1: presents herself, but also just the way she talks. And
Speaker 1: she said the first thing of the day that I
Speaker 1: was like, thank you because and it changed the tone
Speaker 1: of the summit for me because it was a lot
Speaker 1: of girl power. We can get your brand said She's like,
Speaker 1: just because you're a woman doesn't mean you're good at ship.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Sheila, And she really well, I think she's
Speaker 1: all you know, because she's been around. She she said,
Speaker 1: you know, when I was young, feminism was cool and
Speaker 1: then it wasn't cool, and then it was cool again.
Speaker 1: Or maybe that was the other lady Diane fun I
Speaker 1: can't remember the old ladies said that, and it was great.
Speaker 1: It was, but I mean, I think the important thing was, like,
Speaker 1: how rarely we get to hear from older wise women
Speaker 1: that aren't in our families, just because you know, uh,
Speaker 1: the TV and movies decided that we don't want to
Speaker 1: hear from old people, so we kind of don't in
Speaker 1: a lot of ways. And I was so happy because
Speaker 1: those are two of the best talks by far of
Speaker 1: the day. And everyone everyone had great accomplishments at the summit,
Speaker 1: but the people who had really true whyse wise words
Speaker 1: were the older women. There was Laverne Cox was there,
Speaker 1: Tracy Ellis Ross, Oh my god, she's fucking Chelsea Clinton.
Speaker 1: Oh so cool to see her. She she's a great speaker,
Speaker 1: and she really she's a great listener. I've never witnessed
Speaker 1: somebody I've never saw somebody speak on stage and had
Speaker 1: my first impression was that person is a great listener.
Speaker 1: Like it's hard to tell, yeh when Bill and Hillary
Speaker 1: are your parents, a lot of listening. Uh yeah, yeah right.
Speaker 1: The Bush sister daughters, Jenna and Barbara Bush funny is
Speaker 1: fun there. I mean, Jenna is professionally pursuing stand up comedy,
Speaker 1: but they're fantastic and It's kind of nice because it's
Speaker 1: just like, yeah, you know, their father is a Republican UM,
Speaker 1: but it's it's nice. It was nice to have them
Speaker 1: be humanized. Yeah, and then what one of them had
Speaker 1: talked about a time when they were younger that Vladimir
Speaker 1: Putin was at the dinner table with them and they're
Speaker 1: I don't know, it was their grandparents. That was Barbara, Barbara,
Speaker 1: and she she described a story that he told about
Speaker 1: his mother and the the hell she went through with
Speaker 1: the with the Holocaust and all this ship and she
Speaker 1: told the story that I was like Jesus Christ, And
Speaker 1: then it made me go, I'm actually kind of surprised
Speaker 1: that Vladi Putz isn't more of a dick. You know,
Speaker 1: when you hear stories about people's lives, I think it
Speaker 1: really helps you to understand their behavior and why they
Speaker 1: are the way they are. Yeah, it was really really
Speaker 1: interesting cause I never heard that story. Fucking Maxie Waters
Speaker 1: was there. We were like two tables over from her,
Speaker 1: Um Solunge. I didn't get to see her because we
Speaker 1: had to we had to go i'd a show, but
Speaker 1: she was in the same room as me, and I'll
Speaker 1: never forget that. Um yeah, and Ashley Graham hosted it.
Speaker 1: There was a moment where I know, most of the
Speaker 1: time professional models are mostly thin, people like really really thin,
Speaker 1: sometimes so thin, and I'm like, um, but that's body shaming. Uh.
Speaker 1: And Ashley Graham, who's a plus size model who's famous,
Speaker 1: so famous, and she's huge, she's huge enough popularity. Okay,
Speaker 1: get me, she's fat, but she so hot, one of
Speaker 1: the hottest humans we've we've seen her in person many times,
Speaker 1: one of the people and it's so I'm sure she
Speaker 1: gets a lot of ship from people on the internet
Speaker 1: obviously and in the industry because I imagine plus size
Speaker 1: models deal with so much more ship than non plus
Speaker 1: size models. Was sucking clothes not fitting on fire. I'm
Speaker 1: sorry that was her dad's outfit. Actually no, but you
Speaker 1: know she was talking about that and she's really funny
Speaker 1: and she's a really good speaker. But there was a
Speaker 1: moment where and everyone has their own struggle, but Ashley
Speaker 1: Graham was jiggling her arm fan She's like, I don't
Speaker 1: give a fuck, be proud, and like, you're also like
Speaker 1: the hottest person of ever seen. Well, that's my issue
Speaker 1: with plus that's my because I don't think someone is
Speaker 1: less attractive because of their body weight. If you're I mean,
Speaker 1: if you're six hundred pounds, we can't go out on
Speaker 1: a day, you can't leave a house. But you know,
Speaker 1: to me, beauty is more confidence. But also like if
Speaker 1: you got a hot ass fucking face like that, she
Speaker 1: and she has hot, she has a hot That's That's
Speaker 1: why I was complaining all day about plus size models,
Speaker 1: because there was several plus size models who weren't even
Speaker 1: you know, they're not even that big at these uh
Speaker 1: these events. And then I mean, I think the real
Speaker 1: war is on ugly women, and some women are ugly,
Speaker 1: and that's okay, I think it would be correct on
Speaker 1: I was thinking about that because when you first said it,
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, but some women are ugly. But
Speaker 1: because it's the problem, I think the issue is like
Speaker 1: we also often talk about like, oh, everyone's beautiful, No,
Speaker 1: everyone's not esthetically beautiful. But but but the problem here
Speaker 1: is that doesn't matter. That beauty, that physical beauty does
Speaker 1: not define your worth. Some of my favorite people are unattractive,
Speaker 1: but it doesn't matter. They have like way better qualities
Speaker 1: to bring to the table. Like if I had, like
Speaker 1: I talked about this in the book. If I had
Speaker 1: a chance to be prettier or smarter or funnier, pretty, well,
Speaker 1: prettier would be last first. Rather be funnier, Well, no,
Speaker 1: actually I'm pretty funny. I would rather be smarter, so
Speaker 1: smarter would help a lot. I will be more smart.
Speaker 1: I would be rather be smarter and then funnier, and
Speaker 1: then pretty is last. It just doesn't. I used to
Speaker 1: think that being pretty was one of the most was
Speaker 1: one of a top priority when I was when I
Speaker 1: was a youth, up until my late teens, for sure,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I just don't be hot because then people
Speaker 1: like me, like girls like me, like always like me,
Speaker 1: like everyone like me. Um, you know. And that's it's
Speaker 1: so condescending to say, like everyone's beautiful, because one it's
Speaker 1: not true, and too it's assuming that you give a
Speaker 1: shit about that, putting too much value. Tell me what
Speaker 1: I care about now so many people are saying it
Speaker 1: that I accidentally care about it, and you tricked me. Yeah, bitch,
Speaker 1: yeah there. I mean more than being beautiful. You want
Speaker 1: to be healthy, You want to be intelligent, you want
Speaker 1: to be capable, you want to be dependable, you want
Speaker 1: to be kind, good friends. I mean loyal. I mean,
Speaker 1: there's just a thousand things that I that I would
Speaker 1: list that I would kinds of people that I would
Speaker 1: rather have in my life than pretty people. And I'm
Speaker 1: not saying like, yeah, sure I care about pretty, and
Speaker 1: sure it's nice. It's nice to be around attractive people.
Speaker 1: It's nice to feel attractive, it's nice to be attractive.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying these things are nice or that I
Speaker 1: am above them. I am not. We all love a
Speaker 1: hot person. I mean we love looking at the hot person. Yes,
Speaker 1: yes we do. And I love look gonna hot and
Speaker 1: you know, and I'm not even saying that we should
Speaker 1: start hiring ugly people to be modeled, because it's like no,
Speaker 1: because the model is a model. For reading a model
Speaker 1: is that you are esthetically beautiful and that. But it's it.
Speaker 1: It should that should be the only requirement should be
Speaker 1: your face is hot, whatever the funk body you are.
Speaker 1: I just I really hate the skinny skinny and skinny
Speaker 1: skinny chicken. And Ashley Granda is just hotter than anyone there.
Speaker 1: And like then you go on getting images and you
Speaker 1: look at her runway photo, I mean her red carpet photos,
Speaker 1: and she is also like just and yeah, she does
Speaker 1: have armpat and like, yeah, I'm sure if you watch
Speaker 1: like a porn with Ashley Graham in it, you would
Speaker 1: see a lot of jiggling. But like, good, she's just
Speaker 1: so much hotter. You have skin And that's not anything
Speaker 1: against skinny people either. You guys look fucking flawless in
Speaker 1: any photo. So I mean, it's just like, it's just
Speaker 1: like there's a great there's great things to everything. You know.
Speaker 1: Sometimes some days I love being a little bit bigger,
Speaker 1: and some days I'm like I wish I was really
Speaker 1: really skinny. It's just yeah, I used to always want
Speaker 1: twig legs, but then I was like, that's just not
Speaker 1: my legs. I think twig legs are so cute. Yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean yeah, I got I could crush between my thighs.
Speaker 1: Make whatever's work. Hey, mem when we were like little
Speaker 1: Hayes jugging off in front of people unwillingly, right, we
Speaker 1: went right, yes, uh, it's really we were you. I
Speaker 1: was surprised that that story came out. I was, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm I was. I wasn't. I mean, I don't know's
Speaker 1: I such interesting timing? But it makes sense because all
Speaker 1: these people are like everyone is getting out of it,
Speaker 1: this sexual product. And it's great that all these people
Speaker 1: are using this opportunity as a to come forward and
Speaker 1: call people out. And uh, I think that's it's kind
Speaker 1: of like I'm almost like a sitting back like dr evil,
Speaker 1: but not in an evil way of like, thank god,
Speaker 1: the people who have done these disgusting things are now
Speaker 1: getting the only punishment that they're ever gonna get, which
Speaker 1: is arguably worse than legal punishment, because the chances of
Speaker 1: them getting the legal punishment that they deserve is very
Speaker 1: low for sexual assault. So shaming is what's basically the
Speaker 1: only punishment social justice. I guess you could say, I
Speaker 1: don't know what you want to call it, and sometimes
Speaker 1: it feels weird and grows, but other times it's like
Speaker 1: thank god. I think we just have to be careful
Speaker 1: though with the public shaming because I mean, and we're
Speaker 1: going to talk about this later based on an email
Speaker 1: that we received, um, but I was taking some notes
Speaker 1: of my thoughts on this, and again just I mean,
Speaker 1: I can't I can't tell you enough. And it's not
Speaker 1: just because I'm obsessed with him, but how relevant John
Speaker 1: Ronson's book is in these times. So you've been publicly shamed.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I know, I talked about it almost every podcast. Jesus,
Speaker 1: it's just how important that book was, and especially as
Speaker 1: um a young person who are relatively young person who
Speaker 1: is you know a lot of my my job is
Speaker 1: me promoting myself on social media and being a social
Speaker 1: media presence. And you know, every time I send out
Speaker 1: any even like the kind of like mildly edgy tweets
Speaker 1: like cats are cool, yeah, I do close my phone
Speaker 1: and go, huh, well, let's see if that's the tweet
Speaker 1: that ends my career. And that's a weird place to be.
Speaker 1: And I don't think it's great. And and the reason
Speaker 1: it's not is because you don't want to second guess
Speaker 1: your Your art. Your art is jokes are art is
Speaker 1: making fun of things, if whether they be dark or
Speaker 1: commonplace or silly or anything, that is That is how
Speaker 1: we That's the lens with which we look at life through. Right.
Speaker 1: And I'm not trying to say that in any way
Speaker 1: that Luis k masturbating is art. That's not No, that's
Speaker 1: not art. That's sexual, that's all. But I think it's
Speaker 1: it's kind of a dangerous society to live in when
Speaker 1: we're taking these social uh like when we're taking justice
Speaker 1: into our own hands in a way because because we
Speaker 1: are um shaming people and making people pay, uh And
Speaker 1: and there are repercussions for whatever we feel is bad
Speaker 1: at the time. And so you know, kind of like
Speaker 1: societal standards of things that are okay do change. And
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that sexual assault will ever be okay.
Speaker 1: But also like just think about time. There's some like
Speaker 1: housing Jews used to be considered a bad thing to do.
Speaker 1: It was sexual assault used to be commonplace. Yeah, you know, uh,
Speaker 1: I mean it still is a white person loving a
Speaker 1: black person, you know. So there's things that throughout time
Speaker 1: that have been considered like bad or or that you
Speaker 1: should be shamed for that certainly are not shameful, quite
Speaker 1: the opposite. So I just think it's like we really
Speaker 1: need to like kind of keep ourselves in check. And
Speaker 1: you know, I know you're like all but those you know,
Speaker 1: some this behavior is clearly bad, and like, yes, it
Speaker 1: is clearly bad, but also pump the brakes. And there
Speaker 1: are so there are levels here, Okay, luis c k
Speaker 1: not even not even close to Weinstein or Cosby, not
Speaker 1: even close. I'm sorry as asking someone to masterbit in
Speaker 1: front of them is way different. It is also not
Speaker 1: okay but there you know, if you punch someone in
Speaker 1: the face and give them a black eye or if
Speaker 1: you murder them, both bad but way different. Very true.
Speaker 1: But the thing I don't know, I know a lot
Speaker 1: of the people. So in this New York Times article,
Speaker 1: uh it highlighted five women, um the comedy duo it
Speaker 1: was we thought it was someone else. It's actually an
Speaker 1: unknown comedy. Yeah yeah, but but but I feel like
Speaker 1: maybe one of the reasons that is is because because
Speaker 1: they did speak out, they did tell someone, They told
Speaker 1: their manager, I forget who, and then fucking David Becky,
Speaker 1: who's Louise manager, was the one who like came to them,
Speaker 1: was like, hey, can you not do that about my client?
Speaker 1: And so it's not so often people do try to
Speaker 1: get justice like the quote unquote you know, legitimate way,
Speaker 1: meaning go tell somebody, tell the police, tell you may
Speaker 1: tell the person in charge of the project that the
Speaker 1: guys doing this too. And one thing though that I
Speaker 1: do not thing is ever okay. It's a different level
Speaker 1: than Harvey. But if I'm working with you, if your
Speaker 1: women in the workplace, it feels like every time we
Speaker 1: start a new job, it's like, who am I going
Speaker 1: to have to fend off? It really is in the
Speaker 1: back of my mind. It's not the thing that stresses
Speaker 1: me out and makes me sleep by any means, but
Speaker 1: it is casually always in the back of our mind
Speaker 1: because you shouldn't be putting your coworkers in uncomfortable positions,
Speaker 1: whether it's you are in charge of them, they are
Speaker 1: anything you just don't fucking do that. Work is work
Speaker 1: is a professional environment. But the only thing is though,
Speaker 1: I mean, so many people fall in love and that's
Speaker 1: great when it's mutual, right, but it's hard because like
Speaker 1: it's then like at some point someone has to make
Speaker 1: the first move because I know, but canf And that's
Speaker 1: that's not that's separate. But we do know instances of like,
Speaker 1: you know, people kind of feeling uh and you know,
Speaker 1: however you feel it's how you feel, but feeling like
Speaker 1: they were you know, harassed or assaulted from a coworker
Speaker 1: asking them out just because they didn't feel the same way.
Speaker 1: And like and you could say, no, asking you out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think we have to. I mean, you know, whatever,
Speaker 1: if you teach you ask that not okay, teacher asks
Speaker 1: you out. That's an example. I feel like age different
Speaker 1: people know in their in their heart of hearts, they
Speaker 1: know when something is like, oh, this is not okay
Speaker 1: when they're being in in uh with regards to being
Speaker 1: asked out. But if you ask yeah, I agree, it's
Speaker 1: not the you say no and then you don't talk
Speaker 1: about it again. But I know multiple women who then
Speaker 1: feel uncomfortable because someone that they were not interested in
Speaker 1: asked them out. And I think that's feeling bad. I
Speaker 1: think that's unfair of us as women. I've certainly felt uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: I think in that you have to realize every people
Speaker 1: have the right to ask you out. I mean the
Speaker 1: I know we're supposed to you know, not dip your
Speaker 1: pen in the company, inc. But like we're when you're
Speaker 1: really feeling, when you're really as the person. Also, like
Speaker 1: where the funk else are you going to meet people
Speaker 1: besides work? Like I can't instantly meet people at work,
Speaker 1: and you know, there is that big difference of like
Speaker 1: you know, like, oh, if people who are cat calling
Speaker 1: us were hot, would we mind less? So I think
Speaker 1: there is that is something to be talked about and
Speaker 1: so like just because if someone asks you out and
Speaker 1: you do not like them that you can't You can't
Speaker 1: feel threatened by that as long as once you say no,
Speaker 1: they respect, they respect your no, and they leave it along. Dude.
Speaker 1: I I have asked men out at work. I'm a
Speaker 1: huge and I can't stress as enough women in straight
Speaker 1: relationships or by ask men out, women should be asking.
Speaker 1: I ask men out. I think I've asked me now
Speaker 1: my whole fucking life, and I think usually well on
Speaker 1: that from me, But I hate that the expectation is.
Speaker 1: The expectation is I'm gonna wait for the man and
Speaker 1: come to me, and the man proposes and then funk
Speaker 1: that ship. I think that we should know whoever is
Speaker 1: interested first, and it's when it's appropriate. Asked the person out,
Speaker 1: who gives a ship? If you're the woman, it didn't
Speaker 1: Pink proposed to her husband. If not, she definitely had
Speaker 1: talked about like if he didn't do it soon as
Speaker 1: she was going to, I wanted to propose. It's even
Speaker 1: so bad, and I asked, what would you think if
Speaker 1: I did that? And he's like, no, but that don't
Speaker 1: be confined in the box society had. But you, guys,
Speaker 1: already there's already a power dynamic there, so it's I understand. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of layers in addition too. So I
Speaker 1: think if like, you know, maybe if he was you know,
Speaker 1: if it was if it was different circumstances and but
Speaker 1: same people, I think I think it could work. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I asked guys out the one job but first job
Speaker 1: Dejo that I had out of college. I asked a
Speaker 1: guy out and then he literally had to come over
Speaker 1: my aparliament and say, Christina, I don't want to be
Speaker 1: your boyfriend. I never wanted to be your boyfriend. And
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, thanks for being honest. Well, you
Speaker 1: are very persistent, I am, and I'm gonna I I
Speaker 1: want to I if there's any possibility and I'm interested,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna make you tell me no, because the second
Speaker 1: you do respect moving on right. There's nothing wrong with
Speaker 1: no feeling rejected. It's not fun, no ship, it's not
Speaker 1: fun like no one's like I love it unless you
Speaker 1: know you it's a kink, but you know that's something different.
Speaker 1: I don't hate it though, because for me, if someone
Speaker 1: someone says that they don't want to go out and
Speaker 1: out with me, I kind of immediately don't like them
Speaker 1: anymore because I think they have you at that taste. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think they have bad taste truly. But this is interesting.
Speaker 1: I've been reading somebody who tweeted us, and they emailed
Speaker 1: us to art called the Cut has done about why
Speaker 1: why men force young women who don't want to watch
Speaker 1: a mass debates to watch them mass debates? And a
Speaker 1: lot of men hate themselves. A lot of people hate themselves.
Speaker 1: But yet people but I I really noticed specifically from men,
Speaker 1: like they hate their dicks. Not all, of course, but
Speaker 1: I just I didn't know that this was as common
Speaker 1: as it is. But like, sometimes dudes just think they're
Speaker 1: huge piece of ship, and I'm like, no, and that's
Speaker 1: why maybe they act like a piece of ship because
Speaker 1: they're internalizing it. But basically the psychologist said about with
Speaker 1: regards to men forcing people to watch the masterbate, which
Speaker 1: is a foremost actual I thought, if you didn't know,
Speaker 1: it is um that they hate themselves and they want
Speaker 1: to get an emotion that they feel in their head
Speaker 1: out onto the other person. I don't know that woman,
Speaker 1: and by belittling her and by making her feel the
Speaker 1: way that he feels about himself, I'm like that's not good.
Speaker 1: I would fix that. I mean, men should take a
Speaker 1: spa day culture culture change. Men are never encouraged to
Speaker 1: share their feelings and they're never encouraged to like women
Speaker 1: are always like we worked to work too hard, like
Speaker 1: you know, take a break when you need to take
Speaker 1: a day, take a think and relax too much. So
Speaker 1: but I'm like, let's give some of that to the
Speaker 1: men because they it's it's a human need, not a
Speaker 1: woman need, to to take time for yourself and to
Speaker 1: do things that are nice for yourself. I think what
Speaker 1: that is, you know, I think that was just someone
Speaker 1: kind of like in a backwards way, kind of pointing
Speaker 1: out that women work harder than really hard because we
Speaker 1: have to something without rewards. Well, it's like people of
Speaker 1: color have to lot of times have to work way
Speaker 1: harder for the same amount of credit, if not less
Speaker 1: than the white person. And also traditionally a lot of
Speaker 1: the work that women are doing, I think there's no
Speaker 1: like monetary rewards. So you're a mom, you're keeping the
Speaker 1: house cleaner, cooking, there there's no monetary award, there's no uh,
Speaker 1: you know rays you're going to get. There's no promotion
Speaker 1: you're going to get so I think a lot of
Speaker 1: times people were like, take a spa day because that's
Speaker 1: the only kind of reward that you can have. True,
Speaker 1: that's that's that's the only reason why. I think that's
Speaker 1: more encouraged. But I mean for me, like, yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: spending a Sunday watching sports or something. I mean that
Speaker 1: that's not there's something wrong with that. Just please don't
Speaker 1: make me do it with you. Oh my god, don't
Speaker 1: don't buy me a jersey. Don't ask me if I
Speaker 1: want to be in a fantasy. So do you want
Speaker 1: to read them? Because we have it worked? So today
Speaker 1: for the day's podcast, we've been nessed. Is uh. There
Speaker 1: are two women who are very funny, like really cool
Speaker 1: blonde crimp Fisher and Christin Nagins. Who it's us. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's us. We promised you. It's not because anyone canceled.
Speaker 1: We actually planned to do an episode of just Us.
Speaker 1: You know. It's time in time for Thanksgiving. This is uh.
Speaker 1: We want to thank you by taking up the entire
Speaker 1: podcast with you. Letters. No, but uh, I was just
Speaker 1: telling Karen last week like, oh man, I've not I've
Speaker 1: been neglecting the inbox. Sorry about last Night show a
Speaker 1: Gmail dot. I haven't been I've been flagging it and
Speaker 1: uh and then I'm I'm reading through it the past
Speaker 1: couple of days. I'm like, we have so many great
Speaker 1: emails and I feel like we have have to skip
Speaker 1: them when we do the intros because there's been so
Speaker 1: many rapes lately. So rape is now raping our inbox. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so maybe stop complaining and also stop breaking. I know
Speaker 1: that we've had to talk about sexual assault and rape
Speaker 1: so much that we haven't had time to read from
Speaker 1: our list letters from our listeners. And that's fucking godston
Speaker 1: is true. Um, So I have an email about the
Speaker 1: Louis thing that this guy sent the interesting So do
Speaker 1: you want to read the statement his apologies? So if
Speaker 1: if you don't know what we're talking about. Uh, the
Speaker 1: New York Times have published a piece, uh, you know,
Speaker 1: naming a couple of the women that have been sexually
Speaker 1: sold by Louis. I ka uh and uh. One person
Speaker 1: wanted to be anonymous. And then one person he had
Speaker 1: apologized to him and he said, sorry for shoving you
Speaker 1: in the bathroom and the woman was like, that wasn't me.
Speaker 1: Jock off in front of me, And I'm like, oh, ship,
Speaker 1: who are you shoving the bathroom? But no, I don't know.
Speaker 1: But but he was five women, yes, and he he
Speaker 1: did uh make a statement the next day or something
Speaker 1: right away because he knew he did it, so that
Speaker 1: uh uh. And this is the statement I want to address.
Speaker 1: The stories told to the New York Times by five
Speaker 1: women named Abby, Rebecca, Dana, Julia who felt able to
Speaker 1: name themselves, and one who did not. These stories are true.
Speaker 1: At the time, I said to myself that what I
Speaker 1: did was okay because I never showed a woman my
Speaker 1: dick without asking first, which is also true. But what
Speaker 1: I learned later in life, too late, is that when
Speaker 1: you have power over another person, asking them to look
Speaker 1: at your dick isn't a question. It's a predicament for them.
Speaker 1: The power I had over these women is that they
Speaker 1: admired me, and I wielded that power irresponsibly. I have
Speaker 1: been remorseful of my actions, and I've tried to learn
Speaker 1: from them and run from them. Now I'm aware of
Speaker 1: the extent of the impact of my actions. I learned yesterday,
Speaker 1: the extent to which I left these women who admired
Speaker 1: me feeling badly about themselves and cautious around other men
Speaker 1: who would never have put them in that position. I
Speaker 1: also took advantage of the fact that I was widely
Speaker 1: admired in my and their community, which disabled them from
Speaker 1: sharing their story and brought hardship to them when they
Speaker 1: tried because people who look up to me didn't want
Speaker 1: to hear it. I didn't think that I was doing
Speaker 1: any of that because my position allowed me not to
Speaker 1: think about it. There is nothing about this that I
Speaker 1: forgive myself for, and I have to reconcile it with
Speaker 1: who I am, which is nothing compared to the task
Speaker 1: I left them with. I wish I had reacted to
Speaker 1: their admiration of me by being a good example to
Speaker 1: them as a man and given them some guidance as
Speaker 1: a comedian, including because I admired their work. The hardest
Speaker 1: regret to live with is that what you've done to
Speaker 1: hurt someone else is what you've done to hurt someone else,
Speaker 1: and I can hardly wrap my head around the scope
Speaker 1: of hurt I brought on them. I'd be remiss to
Speaker 1: exclude the hurt that I've brought on people who I
Speaker 1: work with and have worked with, who's professional and personal lives.
Speaker 1: It did bother me, he used the wrong who's um,
Speaker 1: professional and personal lives have been impacted by all of this,
Speaker 1: including projects currently in production, the cast and crew of
Speaker 1: Better Things, Baskets, The Cops, One Mississippi, and I Love You, Daddy.
Speaker 1: I deeply regret that this has brought negative attention to
Speaker 1: my manager, Dave Becky, who only tried to mediate a
Speaker 1: situation that I caused. I've brought anguish and hardship to
Speaker 1: the people at FX who have given me so much, uh,
Speaker 1: the Orchard who took a chance on my movie, and
Speaker 1: every other entity that has bet on me through the years.
Speaker 1: I've brought pain to my family, my friends, my children,
Speaker 1: and their mother. I have spent my long and lucky
Speaker 1: career talking and saying anything I want. I will now
Speaker 1: step back and take a long time to listen. Thank
Speaker 1: you for reading. I mean, I mean, hey, fucking if
Speaker 1: he said he didn't do it, I would have been
Speaker 1: like I would I would have I would have smashed
Speaker 1: of oz Well the first thing. People, you know, I
Speaker 1: think in this Daan age, no one's gonna be fucking
Speaker 1: happy with anything. And I not that we're gonna pat
Speaker 1: him on the back. It's like you shouldn't have been
Speaker 1: doing this to begin with. However, you're not a hero
Speaker 1: for not He did it. He cannot undo it. He
Speaker 1: has he has not done things like this in a
Speaker 1: in a long time. So I think when he says
Speaker 1: that later on in his career he realized that this
Speaker 1: was fucked up. I think maybe he's maybe he's you know, seriously, Also,
Speaker 1: you know, as your daughters get older, you probably think
Speaker 1: to yourself, oh, my fucking god, like exactly, And I
Speaker 1: think that really is something that you can't experience that
Speaker 1: kind of love or feelings for someone, especially some of
Speaker 1: the opposite sex, until you are raising something like that.
Speaker 1: And I do believe that, I mean, for the God's sakes,
Speaker 1: even the love I love dogs before and the love
Speaker 1: I feel for a fucking dog at this point is
Speaker 1: just like, I really can't explain it. So I get that, um,
Speaker 1: And I think it's great that he started off with like, hey,
Speaker 1: this is true, because listen, I think he obviously has
Speaker 1: some kind of a problem. And in any twelve step program,
Speaker 1: the first UH step is admitting that you have a problem. Yes, okay,
Speaker 1: and a lot I there was one actors that had
Speaker 1: criticized him for not saying he was sorry. He said
Speaker 1: he felt remorseful, but I'm like, even if he said that,
Speaker 1: how do you know he meant you know what I mean, Like,
Speaker 1: he's the end. Having saying I'm sorry is hack. I
Speaker 1: think remorseful is stronger. Right. Well, that's one of the
Speaker 1: reasons why comedians are my favorite people in the world.
Speaker 1: And Louis c. Kay is an example. He is a
Speaker 1: really talented comedian and it's okay to still think that.
Speaker 1: He's also done some very shitty things. Uh, And it's
Speaker 1: okay to have both, uh, to think both and yes.
Speaker 1: And so for me personally, my personal threshold of personal
Speaker 1: life overlapping with art is. Bill Cosby is someone that
Speaker 1: I'm not I can't watch the Cosby Show. I can't
Speaker 1: because I I can't not think of all the all
Speaker 1: the women he raped. And that's me. But if you can,
Speaker 1: that's you. I don't want to, I don't care. That's
Speaker 1: I don't give a ship, but that is your thing.
Speaker 1: My personal thing with Bill Cosby, I don't want to.
Speaker 1: I don't want to take in any of the things
Speaker 1: that he does. I don't want to see his face
Speaker 1: because I don't I just think of rape. Uh. And
Speaker 1: I mean and drugging people that that's so, that's so
Speaker 1: much more over the top. Yeah uh and so again
Speaker 1: not that this is any this isn't good what Louis did.
Speaker 1: But I've known it for years and I've seen him.
Speaker 1: I've I've still watched a specially you know, um for
Speaker 1: this is an interesting email we got from a guy. UM.
Speaker 1: He said. There's a line of the story in the
Speaker 1: New York Times story that says, hoping that outrage will
Speaker 1: would build against Louis c K and also to shame him.
Speaker 1: They began telling others about the incident the next day.
Speaker 1: The meaning the two girls. The incident involved Louie Louie
Speaker 1: inviting Dana Goodman and Julie wall vall wall Off to
Speaker 1: his hotel room asking if they could take out asking
Speaker 1: h if he could take out his penis and then masturbate,
Speaker 1: and they were paralyzed, screaming and laughing and shock. They
Speaker 1: stayed until he ejaculated and left. Admittedly a huge fan
Speaker 1: of Louis, it's hard to stomach the story, and I
Speaker 1: find myself wanting desperately to defend him because of the
Speaker 1: relative tameness of his acts compared to Harvey wine Stein
Speaker 1: or Bill Cosby. But I realized he took advantage of
Speaker 1: his position and put all those women in a terribly
Speaker 1: uncomfortable situation. But as a dude, I can't understand why
Speaker 1: Goodman and Wallo would sit through the entire act of
Speaker 1: Louis masturbating and then choose to walk out. They say
Speaker 1: they were paralyzed, but being paralyzed doesn't often involve screaming
Speaker 1: with laughter. Louis clearly is a disturbed individual and needs help,
Speaker 1: but that doesn't excuse him from anymy repercussions that come
Speaker 1: from sexually harassing his coworkers, which he did too many times. Nevertheless,
Speaker 1: is the anti slut shaming dual voice of our generation.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Yeah yeah. I think I'm curious what both
Speaker 1: of you think of Goodman and Wallow's motivation to reveal
Speaker 1: Loui the Louis behavior. Wanting to expose him for using
Speaker 1: a position of power to get away with sexual harassment
Speaker 1: is one thing, but wanting to shame him for a
Speaker 1: weird sexual perversion as another. It's not I don't necessarily
Speaker 1: feel that the lay the ladder was the women's motivation,
Speaker 1: but I do feel that Louie is a troubled person
Speaker 1: with a perversion. You both have such an open, progressive
Speaker 1: view on sex, and I'm dying to hear your take
Speaker 1: on it. Is Louis sexual predator or just a sad
Speaker 1: perverse dude? Would love to hear from you. Blah blah
Speaker 1: um perverse. I mean, maybe the Dictionary definition of perverse
Speaker 1: is different than what I have in my head, but
Speaker 1: I mean, I wouldn't call what he did perverted. I
Speaker 1: would call what he did sexual harassment, sexual assault, and
Speaker 1: and and the the freezing uh and not running out
Speaker 1: of the room thing part of it when they were
Speaker 1: screaming and laughing. I am the kind of person and
Speaker 1: I know everyone's different, but sometimes when something really bad happens,
Speaker 1: I do this thing where I freeze and I laugh
Speaker 1: and I don't know, and I don't it's common. It's nervousness,
Speaker 1: for sure, and shock and and if if somebody of
Speaker 1: that stature in a career that I was also in
Speaker 1: did that to me, I would be like wait what.
Speaker 1: I would leave good to go to my hotel room
Speaker 1: that night, going wait what. A month later, I'd probably
Speaker 1: be like wait what. I I totally understand that reaction
Speaker 1: that those girls had. I also I understand anybody's reaction
Speaker 1: because that is their reaction. They're not lying. That is
Speaker 1: how their brain and Audie in mind reacted to what
Speaker 1: was happening. And I think it makes a lot of
Speaker 1: sense because you don't want to know, You don't want
Speaker 1: to believe that it's happening. You don't want to put
Speaker 1: this guy in the fucking file in your head of
Speaker 1: people who are pieces of ship. You don't want to
Speaker 1: do that, so you're I think it's a mix of
Speaker 1: fighting that being in shock, and and that's it. I
Speaker 1: also think there's something very interesting about how fucked up
Speaker 1: Louis has to be to continue to masturbate in front
Speaker 1: of two girls who are screaming and laughing. I think
Speaker 1: that speaks volumes about I mean, and it's also, you know,
Speaker 1: like we the Louis you see on stage, I mean,
Speaker 1: this kind of like guy confident in his not confidence
Speaker 1: is that's not what comedians are like. I mean, I
Speaker 1: think it's like as comedians, like we can comedians are
Speaker 1: are a fucked up, fucked up people. We Christine and
Speaker 1: I are by far some of the most normal comedians.
Speaker 1: It's true, I we know and we we thought. We
Speaker 1: talked about that a lot. I mean, I've been a
Speaker 1: lot of my good friends are comedians. And when I
Speaker 1: say I'm still got sucked up shit about me, right,
Speaker 1: And when I say, like every year, uh, they they
Speaker 1: become like I am more and more just shocked at
Speaker 1: things that have happened or thoughts that they have. I'm
Speaker 1: not that's not me over dramatizing it. Like I'm consistently
Speaker 1: shocked by my comedian friends and things they've been through
Speaker 1: and things they think, and they're kind of outlook on life. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and uh with me. For louis the reason why I
Speaker 1: really admire him, admired him. I don't admire him anymore
Speaker 1: because he's attained in my head now, but he's still
Speaker 1: a great comedian. One of the things that he did
Speaker 1: that I thought was so different was he la everyone
Speaker 1: in on every dark, pathetic, sad corner of his mind.
Speaker 1: And that's what I thought was so brilliant about him,
Speaker 1: And to me is maybe it kind of sucked up,
Speaker 1: but it's because I'm a comic. I'm like, fuck you,
Speaker 1: so you would go to all these other places and
Speaker 1: you wouldn't go there with us, Go funk yourself. I
Speaker 1: don't know. There's a part of me that that was
Speaker 1: really I always thought comedians are the the the only
Speaker 1: people that can really talk about the difficult ship, which
Speaker 1: is why we love having comedian guests come on who
Speaker 1: have been through something really traumatic, because they're going to
Speaker 1: talk about it in a way that they could usually
Speaker 1: laugh at it. And if a person listening had the
Speaker 1: same thing happened and they can't laugh about it, a
Speaker 1: lot of times that helps them just to hear somebody
Speaker 1: not be damaged. You know, their whole life isn't effective
Speaker 1: by this, And so that's what I love about comedians,
Speaker 1: and and I for the longest time, when I started
Speaker 1: hearing those allegations years ago, I was like, just fucking
Speaker 1: get on, talk about it. It doesn't make it better,
Speaker 1: but come on. But I think he was trying to
Speaker 1: let us know because in this new piece that's that's
Speaker 1: now halted, he did there was a character in it
Speaker 1: who was masturbating in public, So I think he I
Speaker 1: think he realized he needed to say it, but I
Speaker 1: think the reason he didn't was because perhaps this was
Speaker 1: the thing that he felt most ashamed about, and just
Speaker 1: because you know, someone is pretty open and telling us
Speaker 1: things does not mean that they don't feel shame. And again,
Speaker 1: as join John Ronson pointed out, like, you know, shame
Speaker 1: is the root of why people act out violently, and
Speaker 1: this I think certainly was an act of sexual violence.
Speaker 1: Um and then just go to go back to the
Speaker 1: word perverse. He did use it accurately, um in your
Speaker 1: because he it's showing a deliberate and obstinate desire to
Speaker 1: behave in a way that is unreasonable or unacceptable and
Speaker 1: in spite of the consequences. So millennials are really ruining words.
Speaker 1: And I put myself in that group. Well because people
Speaker 1: um use words like perverse and brave. They used words
Speaker 1: that are too strong for so for the things that
Speaker 1: they are describing. Um. So yeah, because I'm just like
Speaker 1: what is Because I'm like, what is per Just plain perverse?
Speaker 1: It's such a perv. But like I don't do that.
Speaker 1: I fucking control myself. Um let's do you want to
Speaker 1: read some Yeah, and just like perfect pervert, the noun
Speaker 1: is just a person whose sexual behavior is regarded as
Speaker 1: ab normal and an unacceptable So perverse and perverse are aligned.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, no, I think, yeah, we I mean I
Speaker 1: think as a society we kind of use pervert incorrectly
Speaker 1: when we we we we say pervert when we mean
Speaker 1: someone who just has a kink a lot of times.
Speaker 1: And that's confusing because that's not accurate, right, And I
Speaker 1: think that's that's it's interesting that you pointed that out
Speaker 1: because that's also we That also makes it hard for
Speaker 1: us to say, is this person just a pervert or
Speaker 1: are they? Are they a person with a kink? So
Speaker 1: we got to confuse and like some people thought Louis
Speaker 1: was a person with a kink, No, louis a pervert. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: but being a p and being a pervert is bad,
Speaker 1: whereas having a kink is not having a kink is.
Speaker 1: The kink community is very Consent is the number one
Speaker 1: thing that is sacred in the king community. And if
Speaker 1: you I also if you live in a place that
Speaker 1: has a baby land or a pleasure chest, if you
Speaker 1: live in a big city, they have really awesome workshops
Speaker 1: on everything from like how do I stick a dick
Speaker 1: in my ass? Like and not believe forever and uh
Speaker 1: and then kink and consent and take a class if
Speaker 1: you're if you're near one, well the only thing free
Speaker 1: and I recommend that uh, the only thing is do
Speaker 1: you want to stay on on topic for this so
Speaker 1: that one yes, because that's an uncomfortable question that we
Speaker 1: were asked that I want to answer, right. I mean,
Speaker 1: because the only other email I had in my hand
Speaker 1: was kind of someone basically saying that we had. You know,
Speaker 1: we got a lot of tweets saying that we had
Speaker 1: talked about this Louise stuff long before the New York Times,
Speaker 1: Thank you, we had and us and Gawker had dropped
Speaker 1: this news a long time ago. Um, and this girl
Speaker 1: was just saying that she had written or she had
Speaker 1: the opportunity to ask the director of communications that planned Parenthood,
Speaker 1: Allencia Johnson, what we should do about kind of all
Speaker 1: this sexual assault that's happening. We we all know there
Speaker 1: are many more people using power for their own sexual gain.
Speaker 1: And she said to use social media to bring light
Speaker 1: to these attacks. Start a campaign, have influence influencers, right
Speaker 1: open letters and name people to gain traction, and put
Speaker 1: pressure on companies to hold them accountable and put better
Speaker 1: systems in place. Listen, I think we're already doing this
Speaker 1: for the most part. And I have to disagree with
Speaker 1: this recommendation, even though this is an amazing person. The
Speaker 1: director of communications for Planned Parenters. I have to disagree
Speaker 1: with this. I think yes we should. You know, start
Speaker 1: a campaign is great, even though you know everytime someone
Speaker 1: starts a new nonprofit, I'm like, that's kind of egotistical.
Speaker 1: There's a fucking thousand nonprofits their money need your money,
Speaker 1: that are already up and working, that are doing the
Speaker 1: thing that you want to do. So just like hop
Speaker 1: on board with that, Hop on board with you know
Speaker 1: rain dot org. Uh there there there is a company
Speaker 1: out there or a nonprofit that's already doing probably the
Speaker 1: thing that you want. So to start your little thing
Speaker 1: just to get gain attack attention, that's your own issue. Um,
Speaker 1: but it really is. I mean it's every fucking celebrity
Speaker 1: does it. And it's like, you know, because I was
Speaker 1: thinking that I would love to start a think for
Speaker 1: sex trafficking. No, you know what I should do just
Speaker 1: help the one that's already there, actually and help share
Speaker 1: my fucking money because I'm not because the reason, if
Speaker 1: the reason you you truly want to do something is
Speaker 1: to help, not to highlight yourself as a philanthropy. And
Speaker 1: he's good, it's good that he starts. Oh he's super
Speaker 1: fucking famous. It's really rich, and he's the perfect person
Speaker 1: to draw and he cares and he's doing a great job,
Speaker 1: like you really you really can tell he cares um
Speaker 1: and so people are already get getting fired. I just
Speaker 1: think it's dangerous to start and when it's the sentence
Speaker 1: that really bothered me was to name people to gain
Speaker 1: traction and put pressure on companies. That was really alarming
Speaker 1: to me. And if we just start name in names
Speaker 1: like that's how because it's like, think about the ship
Speaker 1: in your past? Is your past squeaky clean? What's gonna
Speaker 1: be the next thing? Yeah? The only I do think
Speaker 1: if you are a victim of that person sexually assaulting you,
Speaker 1: I think name Obviously, this is the Louis thing is
Speaker 1: an example of somebody naming names after not naming names
Speaker 1: in public, and uh, and that's good. I think if
Speaker 1: you're the victim, you do. I mean that what you
Speaker 1: do is what you do. I'm not going to tell him,
Speaker 1: but I know personally you and I know very famous
Speaker 1: people that have commit it's sexual assault. That no, it's again,
Speaker 1: there's a million Louis c K's. There's so many famous
Speaker 1: comedians right now that everybody listening will know who they
Speaker 1: are that have I've heard horrible stories about from multiple
Speaker 1: people like it's and I'm not gonna sit here and
Speaker 1: go this in this because what the fund is that
Speaker 1: I don't know what that's gonna do. I just it's
Speaker 1: a problem. Can you believe me? It's a problem. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: and it is I think. I mean, but rather than
Speaker 1: starting some internet campaign or naming names, I mean, I
Speaker 1: think it's you know, starting educating young people on the
Speaker 1: proper way to interact with the sex that they're attracted to.
Speaker 1: I think that's the issue of social media. And my
Speaker 1: I'm very nervous about social media. I think it's really
Speaker 1: gotten out of hand and I don't know that that's
Speaker 1: the best way to approach it. And especially because because
Speaker 1: now we're having conversations where we really are lumping Louis
Speaker 1: c k right in with Harvey Weinstein and it's not
Speaker 1: it's not, it's just very they are very different. There
Speaker 1: is there are layers there. Um So this next one
Speaker 1: US subject line is just Andy Dick. So I opened it. Hi, ladies,
Speaker 1: I'm a long time fucker. I found the podcast about
Speaker 1: ten months in and have listened to every episode I've
Speaker 1: shared your podcast with friends and family members for years
Speaker 1: now because I think you're funny and thoughtful, and most
Speaker 1: and maybe most importantly, you have an amazing ability to
Speaker 1: honestly discussed important issues the rest of society is too
Speaker 1: uncomfortable to talk about. Uh said that word weird. So first,
Speaker 1: before anything else, I want to say thanks for making
Speaker 1: my and my many others lives better. Thanks. Christina's willingness
Speaker 1: to openly discuss the allegations against Louis c. K before
Speaker 1: the New York Times article is a perfect example of
Speaker 1: that openness and honesty. And while I think your platform
Speaker 1: is well suited situated to discuss allegations of sexual assault
Speaker 1: and harassment, Karen's long reading of the full allegations against
Speaker 1: Harvey Weinstein was particularly powerful. I don't believe you are
Speaker 1: obligated to discuss every single allegation that surfaces, yet of
Speaker 1: course we would be here all day. I am, however,
Speaker 1: disappointed that you have thus far decided to not comment
Speaker 1: about one person in part Kuller, Andy Dick. You two
Speaker 1: have lauded Andy Dick in the past, across multiple episodes,
Speaker 1: and as far as I can tell, he is the
Speaker 1: only former guest of yours to be publicly accused of
Speaker 1: sexual assault, and that is true because there are others
Speaker 1: that have privately been everyone's disgusting. Uh. These accusations are
Speaker 1: both fresh and old, have led to his termination from
Speaker 1: Roles within the past few weeks. Um, my fear is
Speaker 1: that the explanation for why you haven't addressed this is
Speaker 1: the obvious. He's your friend. I mean, we ain't that close.
Speaker 1: I wish I am not writing this to be a
Speaker 1: I have his phone number, that's right, But I am
Speaker 1: not writing this to be accusatory. I simply wanted to
Speaker 1: bring it up because you two have become leaders, at
Speaker 1: least for me and for others. Will be careful about that,
Speaker 1: and I'm worried pretty good. Yeah, but I mean that's
Speaker 1: also hum This is also the thing. It's like, you know,
Speaker 1: we are comedians at the end of the day, so
Speaker 1: we can't really be your personal like gurus and guides now,
Speaker 1: but you are look in the mirror that your personal
Speaker 1: relationship is triumphing over your honesty and openness. I recognize
Speaker 1: that this is a hard situation, but you two have
Speaker 1: shown time and time again an ability to be a
Speaker 1: voice in difficult spots. It's easier to call people out
Speaker 1: from afar when they are not your people. However, if
Speaker 1: we pick and choose who we talk about based on
Speaker 1: who we are friends with, were simply trading old predators
Speaker 1: for new. We've heard a lot about open secrets lately
Speaker 1: in Hollywood, my neighborhood, among my friends, Andy Dick has
Speaker 1: been ours for years. Yeah, every I mean, there's literally
Speaker 1: a movie yet that says everyone has an Andy Dick
Speaker 1: story that premiered at Just for Last Comedy festival. Who
Speaker 1: apparently loves to keep sexual predators safe. Don't invite me back.
Speaker 1: Whatever he has sexually that that's just correct, Not Christina,
Speaker 1: I saw you looking at me. I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1: Uh he has not No, not you personally. I don't
Speaker 1: give a funk about Canada inviting me back like the
Speaker 1: JFL whatever. He has sexually assaulted multiple friends of mine
Speaker 1: when we've seen him out, which has happened probably fifteen
Speaker 1: to twenty times over the last six years. Yeah, he
Speaker 1: needs work. We've made sure to go the other way
Speaker 1: hoping he did not see us. Nearly everyone I know
Speaker 1: has an Andy Dick story. Not all our bad. Some
Speaker 1: are great and funny, but plenty are unequivocally sexually assault.
Speaker 1: His substance abuse problem does not excuse him anymore than
Speaker 1: Harvey Weinstein's I'm from a different eratline excuses him. Those
Speaker 1: are different we'll talk about in a second. I tried
Speaker 1: to do something about this when a friend of mine
Speaker 1: told me that Andy Dick had grabbed his penis in
Speaker 1: a bathroom a couple of years ago, causing my friends
Speaker 1: to go home and cry. I wanted this open secret
Speaker 1: to come out into the lights. So I did, Uh,
Speaker 1: the only thing I could think to do. I email
Speaker 1: to you guys. I don't know if you ever read it. Uh,
Speaker 1: you didn't respond. I ever read it. Oh, I guess
Speaker 1: that she's on this another email. I didn't see it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean when the allegations had come out, that was
Speaker 1: it was on Halloween, and I remember poisoning. And I
Speaker 1: just don't read the news every fucking day. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: you know, I want to save my soul, you know,
Speaker 1: I think um, And I said, I hope, but I
Speaker 1: hope you read this, and I hope you consider using
Speaker 1: your platform to confront a difficult truth about your inner circle. Again,
Speaker 1: he's not. I mean, you guys really thinking we're more
Speaker 1: famous than we are. Andy's victims deserve indication too. Okay,
Speaker 1: so we wanted to discuss this, and believe me so,
Speaker 1: first off, I want to say we have thought about it.
Speaker 1: In fact, we've thought about this so deeply. Too many
Speaker 1: people that could talk about but that you guys heard
Speaker 1: us talking. For the guys, we experienced show in New
Speaker 1: York during the New York Comedy Festival, which happened. We
Speaker 1: sold it out. It was amazing, thank they. However, we
Speaker 1: we if you listen to previous episodes, we talked up
Speaker 1: special guests, special surprise guests. The guests we had in
Speaker 1: mind was Andy Dick because he was going to be
Speaker 1: in the New York Comedy Festival and we did not
Speaker 1: have him on the show because of everything that happened.
Speaker 1: So to say that we did not think about it
Speaker 1: percented And that's a d the reason why he was
Speaker 1: not on our show at the Tribeca Performing Arts Festival
Speaker 1: even though he wasn't town for the New York Comedy Yeah,
Speaker 1: and when we got that, emails like, oh, yeah, we
Speaker 1: haven't talked about that. I'm cool to read it. That's
Speaker 1: a good question. I'm glad, I'm I'm glad, she she said,
Speaker 1: that does us. It's not that I haven't. We didn't
Speaker 1: go should we talk about on the podcast? The first
Speaker 1: time I asked myself that was when I said that
Speaker 1: he read that email and I was like, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: let's print this out on Rita, right. And I mean,
Speaker 1: the reason we haven't addressed it is number one. You know,
Speaker 1: if you look at his Wikipedia again, there's like it's
Speaker 1: just a lot of him grabbing body parts. Again, this
Speaker 1: is not okay. You cannot just go up to people
Speaker 1: and grab their body parts. But it didn't seem number one,
Speaker 1: like an attack on a particular sex or type of person.
Speaker 1: I mean, he was not a predator on women. He's
Speaker 1: a predator to himself and to people in general when
Speaker 1: he is under the influence of alcohol. And I know
Speaker 1: you say that it's not an excuse, it's not. You're right. However,
Speaker 1: you know, if we're treating alcoholism as the disease that
Speaker 1: I think it is, it's something that's hereditary, it's something
Speaker 1: that you really you know, you know, it's not cancer,
Speaker 1: but it's also you know, something that's hereditary that's not
Speaker 1: that's not nothing, that's not you know, if alcohol rosebud
Speaker 1: Baker last week talking about how her whole family has
Speaker 1: a long problem with alcoholism. That's that's something that's a
Speaker 1: little bit more than just having like a drinking problem.
Speaker 1: That's a substance taking over your life. And so, you know,
Speaker 1: just the same way as someone who has is meant,
Speaker 1: has a mental handicapped, has a different process if they
Speaker 1: are accused of something in court. I think the actions
Speaker 1: that you that you uh have, the actions that you
Speaker 1: have when you are an alcoholic or a drug addict,
Speaker 1: that does come into play. It does. You're dealing with
Speaker 1: a huge problem. And I've never heard any story where
Speaker 1: Andy Dick acted in this way when he was not
Speaker 1: under the influence. And I mean, I think this is
Speaker 1: something I wouldn't have. I did sure uses something sober
Speaker 1: that was shitty. He's a you've never done anything shitty
Speaker 1: does well, it would surprise me if he did something
Speaker 1: uh malicious, uh not under the influence of alcohol that way,
Speaker 1: that would surprise me. He's definitely, you know, a very
Speaker 1: hyper sec sual person. Yeah, but he also is one
Speaker 1: of the kindest people that I've ever met. I mean,
Speaker 1: for maybe not that ka, I would say the kindest
Speaker 1: I think he's I mean, he's sweet, for sure. I
Speaker 1: I've I feel for me, I got yeah, but he's
Speaker 1: a comedian, like just for me. It was very kind
Speaker 1: and gentle, gentle and even the fact that he gave
Speaker 1: two relative nobodies time when he was going through rehabilitation,
Speaker 1: which is the reason we even know him in the
Speaker 1: first place. And again, we are not friends. Like I
Speaker 1: don't know what Andy Dook is doing right now. I
Speaker 1: haven't talked him in months. I would say we're friendly acquaintances.
Speaker 1: I mean, like we have his number, we call him up,
Speaker 1: We've been to parties together. But I mean, like, this
Speaker 1: is not a deep friendship. It's not like if he
Speaker 1: did something really bad. I don't think either of us
Speaker 1: would have a problem being like fuck this guy, Like
Speaker 1: he would not affect our lives in any way. So
Speaker 1: he can't do anything for us, Like if anything, we
Speaker 1: can help anything at this point, you like, he can't
Speaker 1: help us, you know, Um, so yeah, So we just
Speaker 1: wanted to address that, and hey, let's talk about some
Speaker 1: different types of problems for just a second. I guess
Speaker 1: I'm amped up about I'm gonna try I'm gonna read
Speaker 1: these emails. I'm gonna trying to summarize uh my advice
Speaker 1: allah the seven minutes in Therapy section of our Guys
Speaker 1: Experience show. Um. This is the subject of this email is.
Speaker 1: I was on Sugar Daddy website and found my father
Speaker 1: He's been married thirty five years, and I was like, no, hey,
Speaker 1: fucker's love this show. I need your advice. You ladies
Speaker 1: have the best way to analyze situations, and I know
Speaker 1: and I want to know what you think. Let's start
Speaker 1: from the beginning. I'm a twenty seven year old woman,
Speaker 1: very open and considering polygamy, so sexuality, kings and crazy
Speaker 1: topics of the sort intrigued me more than scare me.
Speaker 1: I get my parents have sex, and they've had they
Speaker 1: had me and my brothers, so ha ha, and I
Speaker 1: get after thirty five years, there have been a lack
Speaker 1: of My dad has always been my my hero, a
Speaker 1: real gentleman, so I placed him on a pedestal for
Speaker 1: most of my life until middle school when I found
Speaker 1: out his secret. He chats with women online. I found
Speaker 1: explicit conversations and hid the fact that I knew for
Speaker 1: years my dad is not the most attractive man. And
Speaker 1: I get some men and and women enjoy chatting online
Speaker 1: feel sexy. It's exciting, especially after being married for so long.
Speaker 1: I believe in balance and how some people need secrets.
Speaker 1: We all have secrets. I try not to think about
Speaker 1: it and it helps. I no longer live with my parents,
Speaker 1: so I don't see my dad waking up late at night,
Speaker 1: going to his office and spending all night talking to
Speaker 1: other people. My mom has no idea. She believes he
Speaker 1: his lies and is even proud when he leaves town
Speaker 1: and does workshops. She loves when he follows his passion,
Speaker 1: yet doesn't know what might be going on when he
Speaker 1: leaves town for days at a time. The other day,
Speaker 1: my friend who never met my dad, was showing me
Speaker 1: her profile on a sugar baby website. I was a
Speaker 1: sugar baby for almost a year for a rich Italian guy.
Speaker 1: I told my parents, I'm not ashamed of it. I
Speaker 1: really really cared, even loved this person. He was forty
Speaker 1: five and taught me so much and uh it made
Speaker 1: me a better person. He made me assert myself more
Speaker 1: stand up for my rights. Overall, it was an amazing experience.
Speaker 1: We ended up dating for a while, and after he
Speaker 1: ended our relationship, we kept in touch. So back to
Speaker 1: my friend's profile. I was helping her find an ideal match.
Speaker 1: That's when I saw my dad, a blurred picture of
Speaker 1: what I already saw of him, so I knew right away.
Speaker 1: I read the profile and it was all his info, height, job, income, married,
Speaker 1: two kids, etcetera. His profile was simple. He was looking
Speaker 1: for someone discreet and understand, to understand the situation. So
Speaker 1: this is for more, far more than cheating, because chatting
Speaker 1: you can be anything and anyone. I was even thinking
Speaker 1: he was catfishing people all my life. Now I see
Speaker 1: ship got real. I know in my heart it's my dad,
Speaker 1: and I feel hopeless, helpless. I'm normally so strong and direct.
Speaker 1: In this situation, I feel like shit. I can't tell
Speaker 1: my mom it would kill her, and he is so
Speaker 1: good to her in all other aspects. Now Here is
Speaker 1: where it gets complicated. My dad health wise is not
Speaker 1: doing good. He's going through so much. I don't want
Speaker 1: to add stress or cause a bomb to blow up
Speaker 1: and cause problems. I ended up calling my brother and
Speaker 1: talking about this. I told him I had to talk
Speaker 1: about my dad and swear not to tell mom. I
Speaker 1: told him I saw her dad on a dating website.
Speaker 1: He also knew after seeing him up late at night
Speaker 1: and not clearing his browser history. We finally admitted to
Speaker 1: each other that we knew and I was no longer
Speaker 1: alone with the secret. As much as it sucks to
Speaker 1: talk about it with my brother, I felt a huge
Speaker 1: weight lift off my shoulders. I was no longer alone.
Speaker 1: I want to know your thoughts and I being a
Speaker 1: child not confronting my dad or is this something I
Speaker 1: should keep secret with my brother? I know if my
Speaker 1: mom finds out, it will kill her, and especially since
Speaker 1: we know and she doesn't, I don't want my parents
Speaker 1: to separate. They are so cute together. This crappy situation
Speaker 1: is affecting my relationship with men and even caused a
Speaker 1: breakup since I went crazy and got mad anxiety after
Speaker 1: I found a boyfriend doing the same thing. This makes
Speaker 1: me question if this is why I want an open
Speaker 1: relationship because I believe monogamy is dead, not just because
Speaker 1: of my dad, but because other guys in my life
Speaker 1: hitting on me and asking me out when they're in
Speaker 1: monogamous relationships. My dad has issue. My dad's issues are
Speaker 1: just the cherry on top. Am I searching for openness
Speaker 1: just because I want to avoid being in my mom's
Speaker 1: situation and not know what my partner does in secret?
Speaker 1: What do you ladies think? Thanks for all you do. Ah,
Speaker 1: so you saw your dad's sugar baby website profile Happy Saturday.
Speaker 1: The idea runs in the family. I mean like like,
Speaker 1: I mean, it's it seems very clear to me that
Speaker 1: the dad got the idea from the daughter doing it.
Speaker 1: Not not I didn't get that. Blame on you in
Speaker 1: any way. You didn't do anything, but like you certainly
Speaker 1: you know, gave him a good idea. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: think he was sitting around going oh yeah, King dot
Speaker 1: com or fat life or whatever sugar baby. Um. I
Speaker 1: think the only concern that I have here is uh,
Speaker 1: and then I probably would want to clear with my
Speaker 1: dad is making sure that he's being safe and not
Speaker 1: you know, putting your mother in a risky situation and not.
Speaker 1: I mean I hate about it. They're not the parents
Speaker 1: are not having it doesn't seem like they are. There's
Speaker 1: not there's not a chance that I don't think, I
Speaker 1: think have a caring relationship. And they're friends who love
Speaker 1: each other, and he gets his rocks off with other
Speaker 1: people and I and I really I get that. It's
Speaker 1: not my dad, So of course I can say this.
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm okay with it. Yeah, I mean literally,
Speaker 1: I'm okay with If it was my dad, I would be.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think there has many I think, and
Speaker 1: I think as you got, as you get older, I
Speaker 1: think you will realize that just because your parents are
Speaker 1: still married does not mean they're necessarily still in love,
Speaker 1: and it could just mean they're only like there there
Speaker 1: is such a thing as a good partnership. My father,
Speaker 1: I think we've talked about this before, Uh loved porn.
Speaker 1: I don't know if he still does. You have a
Speaker 1: feeling that mentioned it, a feeling that he does still.
Speaker 1: And when I was a kid and I found out,
Speaker 1: I don't I know one's ever talking about porn. I
Speaker 1: saw porn way too early because of him. But I
Speaker 1: was like, I know he's doing something bad. And then
Speaker 1: I really truly, I mean I was a child, so
Speaker 1: I was being I logical about this, but I was like,
Speaker 1: my mom's downstairs crying. It's because you're by polar man's
Speaker 1: weren't working, and my dad's a pure driven off. It's
Speaker 1: because he couldn't have a meaningful connection with his wife
Speaker 1: right now because she was going a little mentally insane
Speaker 1: and she needed space. That's perfectly healthy, that's healthy, and
Speaker 1: so so obviously this is taking it to the next level.
Speaker 1: You are correct, but I I really your dad is
Speaker 1: getting emotional satisfaction with your mother and that they are
Speaker 1: are longtime friends. They were madly in love with each other.
Speaker 1: I'm sure at one point maybe they weren't. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Not everybody is. And they love each other and they
Speaker 1: respect each other. I think I don't think that's and
Speaker 1: that the non the health issues, the dad with the
Speaker 1: health issue, I wouldn't. Yeah, well, I think the writer
Speaker 1: is coming at this that wah and the way a
Speaker 1: seven year old would come to would would react if
Speaker 1: this happened in her relationship, because you know, twenty seven,
Speaker 1: you are and you should be looking for romance like
Speaker 1: deep romantic love and passion and that connection. I think
Speaker 1: when you are older, those needs a lot of times change.
Speaker 1: And yes, the world still bill be some older people
Speaker 1: who definitely do need that kind of regular sex in
Speaker 1: their life. But I can already tell, like for me personally,
Speaker 1: I can always tell, like as an old person like it,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna need to like be fucking around I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna be like, you know, fucking around the old
Speaker 1: folks home. I'm just gonna want a nice a nice
Speaker 1: person to talk to and to laugh with. And like
Speaker 1: that is already like more of a priority to me,
Speaker 1: uh yeah than just like having six. And like that's
Speaker 1: not to say that I'm not I still I'm sexual
Speaker 1: and I want to have sex. And you know, it's
Speaker 1: still masturbate from time time, not not really ever my thing,
Speaker 1: but uh you know, and so I just think, yeah,
Speaker 1: and and I wouldn't even talk to you done about
Speaker 1: it because like that's a weird. Yeah, that's his business.
Speaker 1: That's the same way I know that the streams have crossed. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then you know, yeah, don't don't don't project on
Speaker 1: your dad. Yeah that that and that's his life. He's
Speaker 1: a grown ass person. And and it's their release. If
Speaker 1: it would if it would ruin your mom, like, don't, don't.
Speaker 1: It's just yeah, I mean, and I'm sorry. It's good
Speaker 1: that you can talk to about a brother. At least
Speaker 1: your brother knows. And it's kind of like this just weird.
Speaker 1: It's weird, man, it's weird, but it's I think I've
Speaker 1: been funny. I think it'll be funny. Probably maybe not
Speaker 1: until after they're dead, but maybe probably not. That'll be
Speaker 1: a joke to look forward to in the sadness of
Speaker 1: your parents death. All right, next email and you're up.
Speaker 1: We nailed it. Oh gosh, which which am I even doing? Um?
Speaker 1: My ex uh co parent has the zombie girlfriend from hell.
Speaker 1: Let's see this one, hey, bitches. I related so much
Speaker 1: to you girls, and I just had a share part
Speaker 1: of my story. So I have a very good relationship,
Speaker 1: uh with my daughter's dad. His family loves me. Uh.
Speaker 1: I go to his mom's house once a week and
Speaker 1: help her around the house. We spend holidays together. They
Speaker 1: are more of a family than my own. I spent
Speaker 1: a lot of time with my daughter and her dad together,
Speaker 1: and people think that is the most odd thing. Ever, No,
Speaker 1: it's not. It's called being good parents. But I think
Speaker 1: it is important to spend time as a family. Now.
Speaker 1: I have no desire to get back with her dad,
Speaker 1: but my feelings towards his girlfriend just make me seem
Speaker 1: like I'm jealous, which I'm totally not. Uh. It's good
Speaker 1: to put totally when you're when you're really not. It
Speaker 1: really helps. I thought to send you this because, Uh,
Speaker 1: we just went trick or cheating together. And every year
Speaker 1: I make my own costume. I I go through fifteen
Speaker 1: different shops, I go to craft shows to put together
Speaker 1: the perfect costume. You're a good person. Uh. And the
Speaker 1: last uh. In the last four years, I have put
Speaker 1: together all the costumes for me, my daughter, and her dad. Wow.
Speaker 1: People just do not understand all the work that goes
Speaker 1: into these costumes. And I literally cannot stand watching grown
Speaker 1: women in plastic tachi looking store bought costumes. Girl, I
Speaker 1: hear you so hard. Uh. This year we were dressed
Speaker 1: up as red riding Hood Grandma and the Wolf, and
Speaker 1: we looked great. The girlfriend was in the cheapest looking
Speaker 1: witches hat I have ever seen. Oh my god, I'm cunt.
Speaker 1: I am resonating with this so hard. I had a
Speaker 1: witch's hat that was one million times better, literally on
Speaker 1: the floor of my car, I wrote in a podcast. Child.
Speaker 1: I almost asked her if she wanted to wear it.
Speaker 1: She also has a daughter and she was a fox
Speaker 1: with very good makeup. Her mom did. Now, I say
Speaker 1: to the girlfriend, Hey, did you do that makeup? It
Speaker 1: looks really good. Yeah, I did the makeup. She did
Speaker 1: not once say anything about our costumes. Alright, alright, now
Speaker 1: you're getting middle schoolly uh. And this is within everything. Normally,
Speaker 1: when you see someone, you say hi, how are you?
Speaker 1: Or high cute shoes or something. This girl literally was
Speaker 1: born without a personality and it just bugs the ship
Speaker 1: out of me. I feel I am very a creative
Speaker 1: soul and I hate people enough as it is. I
Speaker 1: just can't get over this. Her dad is also a
Speaker 1: very crazy uh. Her dad is also a very creative soul,
Speaker 1: and I just don't get it. We went to an
Speaker 1: amusement park over the summer, the whole family. Uh, this
Speaker 1: is sorry, you're creative, but maybe not in writing over
Speaker 1: the whole summer at the whole the whole family, Dad, me, girlfriend,
Speaker 1: and the two girls. It was a three hour drive
Speaker 1: to get there in a three hour drive back in.
Speaker 1: And this makes me sound crazy, but I sat in
Speaker 1: the back the entire time and play with the kids,
Speaker 1: and the girlfriend did not once offer to sit in
Speaker 1: the back. Yeah, who would get the worst seat? Girl?
Speaker 1: This girl isn't a zombie monster from hell so far.
Speaker 1: It's just these little things that she does that make
Speaker 1: me resent her. She is just so boring and has
Speaker 1: no style, and it does not know how to talk
Speaker 1: or be considerate. I just have very few people to
Speaker 1: talk about this and just needed to vent. I hope
Speaker 1: I didn't sound too crazy. Love, Okay, so number one
Speaker 1: have to rush. This is me, This email is me,
Speaker 1: but this is young me and I have grown up
Speaker 1: older and I and I gotta say, as much as
Speaker 1: I wish it were illegal to be boring and have
Speaker 1: a bad Halloween costume, it is not um and uh,
Speaker 1: some people are just boring and for people like you
Speaker 1: to blow people away with their amazing creativity, we have
Speaker 1: to have boring people because bitch, if everyone was interesting,
Speaker 1: you would be boring too. Everyone's boring than everyone's interesting.
Speaker 1: You know, it's the same, true, it's the same thing. Okay,
Speaker 1: So just it's just as we need to have quote
Speaker 1: unquote ugly people for people to be pretty. You know,
Speaker 1: you needs if every everyone's zero. Exactly, girl, So I
Speaker 1: mean you should just think instead of instead of getting
Speaker 1: mad and huffing and puffed about this, girl, you should
Speaker 1: be so thankful that women like this exists. Yeah, she's
Speaker 1: lifting you up, boring in the most beautiful way. She's
Speaker 1: highlighting your amazing no work for you and no work
Speaker 1: for her. So who gives a ship? Let her bait.
Speaker 1: She's not a monst. Let her be boring. And then
Speaker 1: and also you know, your boyfriend probably is really creative.
Speaker 1: But you know what the worst conboy is to really
Speaker 1: creative people. Okay, it's exhausted. It's called a murder. That's
Speaker 1: what that is. Okay, you cannot have there. In most
Speaker 1: relationships there is one person. Both people have snobby taste
Speaker 1: that is not good. Yeah, and there has to be
Speaker 1: some one person who's in the spotlight. Okay. There's every
Speaker 1: relationship there's a star and then there's a supporting actor. Okay,
Speaker 1: and you just have to decide what do you need
Speaker 1: to be in your relationship? What what will compliment you
Speaker 1: the best? Yeah? And and yeah, don't unless she didn't
Speaker 1: do nothing you said that she did. I wouldn't because
Speaker 1: I was waiting for her to say something like, oh,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't want my daughter to be with this person.
Speaker 1: But she who gives a ship? Yeah, and she's a
Speaker 1: good mom. She did good makeup for her, just because
Speaker 1: I mean she did go makeup for her fox, you know.
Speaker 1: And and she's not the parent. You know, she should
Speaker 1: always treat your your your child with respect. But she's
Speaker 1: not their parents. They're not even like married, they're just
Speaker 1: you know, she should be nice, but she doesn't need
Speaker 1: she doesn't need to go overboard. Yeah with the parenting
Speaker 1: and it's but it's just like, it's just cool. You
Speaker 1: can don't hang out without fighting. You don't need know,
Speaker 1: you don't need this bitch to compliment. Feel like she's
Speaker 1: says somebody, and I know you're hard on yourself. You're
Speaker 1: the hardest person on yourself. So maybe she's hard on
Speaker 1: herself and she's projecting on this lady. Yeah. Maybe I
Speaker 1: mean more so that I am, you know, physically repulse
Speaker 1: when I see a bad Halloween costume. You are, But
Speaker 1: that's not that's something we gotta get past. Yea. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Uh this email, it's my husband masturbating to the sound
Speaker 1: of our roommate fucking his girlfriend. Need advice game, Hey guys.
Speaker 1: I started listening to UH to You guys for about
Speaker 1: three months or so, and I can't stop relating, laughing,
Speaker 1: and enjoying the podcast and the themes you guys talk about.
Speaker 1: I can say I'm getting addicted. Congrats for the work,
Speaker 1: Thank you. So I got married a little less than
Speaker 1: a month ago, and currently in my house are living
Speaker 1: three people, me, my husband, and our roommate. Our roommate
Speaker 1: recently got a girlfriend, and my husband and I always
Speaker 1: hear them fucking. It's pretty annoying and it gets me
Speaker 1: thinking if he can also hear us, but that's a
Speaker 1: subject for another email. So our office is right by
Speaker 1: is right by our roommate's bedroom. My husband and I
Speaker 1: haven't had sex in a while, less than a week.
Speaker 1: I'll fuck you because I'm p M s NG and
Speaker 1: I feel horrible when that time of the month comes
Speaker 1: totally here you, so it's natural for him to masturbate more.
Speaker 1: I hate to see him doing that looking at random
Speaker 1: girls online, but I always let go because there's nothing
Speaker 1: to feel. It's care about. Sometimes I accidentally see him
Speaker 1: doing that and I awkwardly stepped back where I came from.
Speaker 1: No biggie what that means. But tonight my roommate and
Speaker 1: his girlfriend were loud fucking as as usual, and after
Speaker 1: telling my husband sex wasn't happening tonight, he went to
Speaker 1: the office. So after a while I thought, no, he isn't,
Speaker 1: and he was. He said he was masturbating to his
Speaker 1: porn while the whole house could listen to our roommate
Speaker 1: and his girlfriend having sex. He said he wasn't master
Speaker 1: baiting to the sound of it, but to his born.
Speaker 1: But I just can't believe him. I really think he
Speaker 1: was aroused by the sound of our three hundred pound
Speaker 1: roommate and his girlfriend fucking. Oh well, girl, that is
Speaker 1: not a that's not a fact that it was related
Speaker 1: to this story. He got the idea of him being
Speaker 1: able to oh wait, oh, he got offended, obviously. I
Speaker 1: know how crazy it sounds. And I'm sleeping in the
Speaker 1: guest room because I'm disgusted of the idea of him
Speaker 1: being able to do that kind of thing. Am I crazy?
Speaker 1: Did I go too far accusing him of that? Is
Speaker 1: that even a thing? I'm confused. Thanks for helping me.
Speaker 1: I hope you guys keep up with the amazing pounds.
Speaker 1: So your husband was jerking off to you three hundred
Speaker 1: pound roommate who's apparently amazing in bed. Okay, I think
Speaker 1: what's happening here is you're projecting because you're hearing whenever
Speaker 1: and I do this. That's why I'm comfortable to assert
Speaker 1: that whenever I'm in a lull with sex with my boyfriend.
Speaker 1: I do feel secretly like kind of bad and like
Speaker 1: kind of like I'm being like a bad girlfriend, even
Speaker 1: though that is not true because the relationship is so
Speaker 1: much more than sex, even those sex is a very
Speaker 1: important part of it. So sometimes I'll see my friends
Speaker 1: will be like, yeah, I'm gonna go like suck my
Speaker 1: boyfriend like you know me too, whatever, And I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna go home and funk my boyfriend. We're gonna go
Speaker 1: We're gonna fall asleep because I'm have shipped to do
Speaker 1: and he wants to go to bed early for whatever
Speaker 1: reason it is. And sometimes I feel like I need
Speaker 1: to be competitive with my friends who are very sad like,
Speaker 1: but it does. But then I remember, oh, yeah, I
Speaker 1: have my life, and my life's not their life, So
Speaker 1: who gives a ship? So I think you are projecting
Speaker 1: because to me, if you'd jerking off to this sounds
Speaker 1: a loud fucking a lot of guys, like for Stephen,
Speaker 1: he loves watching porn because he likes the sounds, but
Speaker 1: the girl makes okay. I personally, I've had roommates have
Speaker 1: sex loudly and it grosses me out. It also grosses
Speaker 1: me and that's but that's how I feel about it.
Speaker 1: But if I got turned on, I'm not gonna say
Speaker 1: I wouldn't. I don't think there's any wrong like a
Speaker 1: clip on the couch a little bit. I wouldn't tell him.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be creepy about it. I wouldn't, you know,
Speaker 1: be bare ass on the couch from a pussy hanging out,
Speaker 1: because that's rude. It's a shared space. But I don't
Speaker 1: think that's wrong. I mean I think I think let
Speaker 1: him be so always listening to two people he doesn't
Speaker 1: know and poor and have sex versus who gives a ship?
Speaker 1: I don't think there's anything wrong this. And then also
Speaker 1: I mean instances like have you ever been like a
Speaker 1: hotel like that had like like that had a courtyard
Speaker 1: where you can see across to another room in the hotel.
Speaker 1: I always look, yeah, and sometimes I masturbate with the
Speaker 1: windows open, and like if anyone sees me whatever, taught right,
Speaker 1: I mean I don't like to. I don't like I
Speaker 1: like to like I like to like look and see
Speaker 1: if I see other people, And then I'm like, wow,
Speaker 1: am I a sexual predator? You know? Just so many
Speaker 1: things making me ask, But this thing is it's like,
Speaker 1: that's my commentary on the changing in society. It's like
Speaker 1: I think, you know, I think that very easily, some
Speaker 1: day soon could be cansidered being a sexual predator, and like,
Speaker 1: is it less uh, sexual predatory because I am a
Speaker 1: young woman? I think absolutely in society. Like if you saw,
Speaker 1: you know, like a young cute girl looking at you
Speaker 1: as opposed to like an old man, Like, wouldn't you
Speaker 1: feel more comfortable with the young woman. I mean, I
Speaker 1: think a lot of people would. Dude. I've had hot girl,
Speaker 1: hot girls hit on me, like girls that I'm like hello,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I'm the ship, I'm the man. Yeahs huge.
Speaker 1: Even though I of a dick, it feels good. It
Speaker 1: feels good and a hot got guy. Oh god, that's
Speaker 1: not exactly what I was. Okay, sorry, but I'm I'm
Speaker 1: glad that hot please hit on like only like twice,
Speaker 1: but it was I'll never forget it, and I did
Speaker 1: write about it my diary, your diary I've been heading
Speaker 1: on you does feel good, it does, it does feel good.
Speaker 1: But I just I did when when she did that,
Speaker 1: when she brought up the three like, first of all,
Speaker 1: fuck you, that doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that and
Speaker 1: that made me go ding ding ding doesn't matter my
Speaker 1: reading another Yeah, it's what I suck itt Um. Okay,
Speaker 1: this is this is picking response. This is in response
Speaker 1: to the picking email that we read last week that
Speaker 1: we got a lot of emails about that. So I'm
Speaker 1: very glad that I wrote it. Uh. This one says
Speaker 1: high ladies. I was just listening to this week's episode
Speaker 1: and heard the letter that you read about a woman
Speaker 1: who is having trouble with picking. I am so glad
Speaker 1: you chose to read this letter because I think a
Speaker 1: lot of people struggle with this derma till amania or
Speaker 1: it's kind of sister disorder trick a tillomania, which is
Speaker 1: the hair pulling. Very famously or only in My Life.
Speaker 1: Kathy Griffins, one of her assistants on My Life and
Speaker 1: on the d List, had this. It's basically, you just
Speaker 1: you just have kind of obsessively pull out your eyebrow
Speaker 1: and your your eyelash hairs. Uh, but don't really understood
Speaker 1: an invested the letter, but don't really understand it, and
Speaker 1: so don't speak about it or get help for it.
Speaker 1: My mom has always struggled with the hair pulling, and
Speaker 1: unfortunately I have always done the picking. Oh and I
Speaker 1: also know this guy who dates a girl who actually
Speaker 1: picks her her head hair out and is, you know,
Speaker 1: almost bawling because of this disorder. They are usually anxiety related,
Speaker 1: like you mentioned on the show My Whole Life, I
Speaker 1: thought I had bad skin or acne, but really I
Speaker 1: was just neurotically picking at nothing and making my skin
Speaker 1: bad myself. I went to a dermatologist for years and
Speaker 1: tried so many different types of medicine or skin regiments
Speaker 1: to get my acne under control. I never could. It
Speaker 1: wasn't until my therapist noticed me picking during a particularly
Speaker 1: difficult session one day and asked me about it that
Speaker 1: I realized it was an anxiety disorder. We have since
Speaker 1: uh since brainstormed a ton of different ways to get
Speaker 1: me to stop picking, such as wearing gloves all the
Speaker 1: time and in public. I got really into makeup so
Speaker 1: that I wouldn't want to touch my face because if
Speaker 1: I touched my face, I would mess the makeup up.
Speaker 1: But then I just started picking out my arms and
Speaker 1: shoulders instead. We tried many different ways of creating a
Speaker 1: barrier between my skin and my nails so that I
Speaker 1: would notice if I was picking or trying to and
Speaker 1: stop before it got bad. I also tried replacement behaviors
Speaker 1: like snapping or rubber band and whatnot. The only thing
Speaker 1: that I have noticed has really worked is getting my
Speaker 1: nails done. I get a n C which makes the
Speaker 1: nail itself thicker and makes it much more difficult to
Speaker 1: get under the skin to the blemish to tear up
Speaker 1: your skin. I know that can be expensive, and believe me,
Speaker 1: I am a social worker, so I am broke, but
Speaker 1: is truly the only thing that has really cut down
Speaker 1: on my picking, and my skin is a thousand times
Speaker 1: better for it. So I make a point to budget
Speaker 1: for that each month, and so far it has really
Speaker 1: helped me. Hope this helps UM. I just love this email.
Speaker 1: I think it's great to kind of trade tips and
Speaker 1: tricks that we have to get over these things, especially
Speaker 1: you know, anxiety and O c D related disorders that
Speaker 1: maybe don't have like a concrete kind of a cure,
Speaker 1: uh the way you know, cancer has chemo or something
Speaker 1: like that. You know, it's just like life as we
Speaker 1: there's just like there's just other things that you can do.
Speaker 1: And I think you the key point that you kind
Speaker 1: of that you touched on in this letter is that
Speaker 1: you need to you need to notice the behavior as
Speaker 1: soon as it's happening. And that's the key because you're
Speaker 1: kind of like almost in a rance when you're doing
Speaker 1: these anxiety behaviors, and so the key is in whatever
Speaker 1: way you know how to get yourself out of that trance.
Speaker 1: I do want to read one last email because or
Speaker 1: if you just this one, I really we if you
Speaker 1: like this, if you like the episode. We have so
Speaker 1: many many emails in my hand that I can't read that.
Speaker 1: One of them is about my boyfriend's parents. He thought
Speaker 1: they were dead, but then not. I know his secret.
Speaker 1: I'm like, uh uh, we'll get to him eventually. Keep
Speaker 1: sending them. This email is just it's sweet, and it's
Speaker 1: a sweet reminder of you know, youth sexual pressure on
Speaker 1: my life is a subject line. Hey, it's from a guy. Hey,
Speaker 1: I'm a fourteen year old guy. Maybe too young. I
Speaker 1: have no fucking idea. I've been listening to you guys
Speaker 1: for a year and have really appreciated your talks and honesty.
Speaker 1: You guys are fucking awesome. Keep it up. When I
Speaker 1: grow up, I want to be as cool as you guys,
Speaker 1: You've told me a lot about stuff my parents don't
Speaker 1: talk about. So to get to the point, I have
Speaker 1: a handful of guy friends who are all two to
Speaker 1: eight years older than me, and a ship ton of
Speaker 1: friends who are girls and don't have a girlfriend and
Speaker 1: haven't asked a girl out, and my mom and dad
Speaker 1: won't let me date until I'm eighteen. Because I hang
Speaker 1: out with an older crowd, I'm mentally more mature and
Speaker 1: aware of everything around me, and physically more mature. I
Speaker 1: have some facial hair and more muscular and more socially
Speaker 1: active than other guys my age. I've been called a
Speaker 1: gentleman by lots of people, and I've been dubbed the
Speaker 1: cool kid, and I tend to be the alpha male
Speaker 1: because guys six years older will do as I say
Speaker 1: and follow my lead. I'm not trying to jerk myself off,
Speaker 1: but I'm just trying to give you an idea of
Speaker 1: who I am. Uh when people I love him. When
Speaker 1: people find out my age, they expect me to be
Speaker 1: shitty to girls and the fucking asshole and they treat
Speaker 1: me like a child, or they expect me to be
Speaker 1: all over girls and try to have sex all the time.
Speaker 1: I prefer being around girls, but the age I'm at
Speaker 1: hanging around girls and not being el macho is considered weird.
Speaker 1: I have been watching porn for over a year and
Speaker 1: I'm trying to get off it, but I am really struggling,
Speaker 1: and I can see it affecting my everyday life. I
Speaker 1: have not had sex yet. Everyone around me is sex
Speaker 1: Everything around me is sex driven, and the adults I
Speaker 1: know treat sex like it's a sin worse than murder.
Speaker 1: It's not. I feel all the sexual pressure and just
Speaker 1: the pressure of growing up on myself by all this,
Speaker 1: and it's killing me. I'm so fucking confused. I don't
Speaker 1: know what to do. Do you have any advice at all? Thanks?
Speaker 1: I love you. You are you are, You've got a
Speaker 1: good head on your shoulders. And also, it sucks that
Speaker 1: when people find out your age, if they expect you
Speaker 1: to be an asshole. When I think of fourteen year
Speaker 1: old boys, I have talked to fourteen year old boys before.
Speaker 1: I've met people's sons, and I think there's a lot
Speaker 1: of a lot of It's like any group of people.
Speaker 1: Some of them are gonna be really sweet and great,
Speaker 1: and some of them are gonna be pieces of ship
Speaker 1: because everyone is capable of being a piece of ship.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I just think it's it's I think a braces. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm just I just like if you say a fortunate
Speaker 1: I just think of a guy that's a little awkward
Speaker 1: but a lot of zits in his face. I don't
Speaker 1: think of an asshole. Now I don't think of an
Speaker 1: asshole either, but uh, first of all, I thought it
Speaker 1: was interesting that it's not you said it's not cool
Speaker 1: to not act el macho around women. You are your
Speaker 1: own person and you can act if you don't feel
Speaker 1: like acting macho. It sounds like that's not who you
Speaker 1: are and you're expected to act one way. And I
Speaker 1: think when you're fourteen, a lot of life, when you
Speaker 1: don't have to pay bills, a lot of your priorities
Speaker 1: are about what other people think of you. And that's
Speaker 1: just the way it is when you're that young. And
Speaker 1: just know that as a fourteen year old boy, Uh man,
Speaker 1: are you man yet? No? Yeah? Yeah, boy, yeah, I
Speaker 1: think that do. And there's nothing wrong with that. No,
Speaker 1: it's great. Enjoy it. Uh, you do not whenever you
Speaker 1: feel like you should be acting one way, unless it's
Speaker 1: a moral dilemma. Don't act you don't have to act macho,
Speaker 1: because too many boys grow up to be men who
Speaker 1: think they have to act macho. And if they were
Speaker 1: just themselves this whole time, I think that their life
Speaker 1: would be a little easier. So make your life easier
Speaker 1: and act like yourself. And I know that when you're fourteen,
Speaker 1: other people's words carry a lot of weight. And I
Speaker 1: promise you, when you grow up, people are still going
Speaker 1: to be kind and people are still gonna be shitty
Speaker 1: to you. But one thing that I love so much
Speaker 1: about getting older is giving less of a fuck about
Speaker 1: what other people think. And I think back to how
Speaker 1: much I just held on to everyone's opinion of me
Speaker 1: as the word of God, and that's just simply not true.
Speaker 1: I also think it's interesting that you made the observation
Speaker 1: that you should probably stop watching porn after watching it
Speaker 1: a year. I don't know what your reasonings are, but
Speaker 1: I feel like you might be right. I think that,
Speaker 1: But but I'm also curious, like I kind of like
Speaker 1: right its back and tell us why I'm interested to see.
Speaker 1: It is weird that because of the Internet, because of porn,
Speaker 1: you can put in anything on a porn site in
Speaker 1: a search field and get it. I think getting laid
Speaker 1: should be hard work, and hitting on something it should
Speaker 1: it's it's effort, it's work. And I think with porn
Speaker 1: it's kind of like I said this in a meeting
Speaker 1: today and I'm like, good thought, Christina. I think a
Speaker 1: lot of grown men use porn the way that Harvey
Speaker 1: Weinstein used that potted plant. They jerk their self hatred
Speaker 1: off into it and they keep it there, but it's
Speaker 1: not solving the problem. So you're fourteen, and I think
Speaker 1: that those layers of bullshit haven't accumulated yet for you.
Speaker 1: Maybe they're starting to. But um, listen to your gut.
Speaker 1: If you think you should stop looking at it one,
Speaker 1: I'm curious what you think. The reason why I'm listening
Speaker 1: is consuming. It must be. And if that's the case,
Speaker 1: yes you should. And to pray because that self control,
Speaker 1: that's good, that's really good. You ahead of the game.
Speaker 1: And also you don't want to I mean like if
Speaker 1: because Christina said, you know, you can get access to
Speaker 1: anything you want to, and she's right. So it's like
Speaker 1: if you've seen the craziest ship there is to see,
Speaker 1: by the time you're fourteen. What fun is it when
Speaker 1: you're eighteen? But also what is it going to take
Speaker 1: to get you off when you're a teen? Yeah, and
Speaker 1: that's a really disturbing thing to think about. And I think,
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, porn like Sarah sil Roman's always
Speaker 1: says make it a treat. In her book, she talks
Speaker 1: about she loves weed, but she says make it a
Speaker 1: treat because she was smoking it too much, she was
Speaker 1: getting lazy, and she realized, make it a treat. So
Speaker 1: I think that these things that maybe sometimes are considered
Speaker 1: bad in society have gotten that reputation for a reason,
Speaker 1: and that's because people have been yoursable with them. So
Speaker 1: I mean the same thing with alcohol. With I mean,
Speaker 1: just think of porn like candy. Your mom wouldn't like
Speaker 1: you have candy every day, you know, like or candy
Speaker 1: for dinner, candy for breakfast. So it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: maybe you said, you know, said these Sunday afternoons is
Speaker 1: going to be porn afternoon. And you set aside an
Speaker 1: hour where you enjoy porn because you love it and
Speaker 1: it makes you feel good and it gives you something
Speaker 1: to look forward to on Sunday. I mean, I think
Speaker 1: there really is a power in going in going without something. Also,
Speaker 1: try yeah, try jerk off using imagination because there's that's
Speaker 1: a limitless thing, and that's it feels good. I don't
Speaker 1: do that. Don't want to jerk off for like all
Speaker 1: the time, though a lot of guys, I know, I mean,
Speaker 1: do you jerk off once a day? So I don't
Speaker 1: think that there's anything weird about doing that. I mean,
Speaker 1: I know people do masterbate more than once a day.
Speaker 1: But yeah, and I'm oh. And back to acting, I mean,
Speaker 1: I think that the sentence that you said men feel
Speaker 1: that you need to act el macho, the fact that
Speaker 1: the word is act is even in there. When you
Speaker 1: are being yourself, you don't need to act in any
Speaker 1: way because you're just being yourself. I don't act like
Speaker 1: a bit. I am a bit like that's it. It's fine,
Speaker 1: That's who I am. And you know, the older you
Speaker 1: get you, the more you'll realize everything around you. It
Speaker 1: is sex driven marketing, any television, everything is sex driven.
Speaker 1: And it could seem really overwhelming, and sometimes it's easy
Speaker 1: to fall into the trap of like, suck the most
Speaker 1: important thing. It's not. It's not the most important thing.
Speaker 1: In the world. It is why all of us are here.
Speaker 1: But that's not the most important thing in the world.
Speaker 1: And uh, and so keep keep asking yourself these questions.
Speaker 1: Keep keep keep challenging yourself and and and listening to
Speaker 1: your gut. I think it seems like you have a
Speaker 1: good one. Yeah, yeah, yeah you do. And it seems
Speaker 1: like you're going to grow up to be a pretty
Speaker 1: cool ass man. So thank you for writing us, and
Speaker 1: and thank you for listening everybody. Guys, what an episode,
Speaker 1: what a role sir? It was great. And if you
Speaker 1: like episodes like this, uh, this is the kind of
Speaker 1: episodes we do on our bonus uh content on which
Speaker 1: is on Stitcher Premium. I mean, this is not was
Speaker 1: not just a big ad for that. Don't worry, we're
Speaker 1: not loreal um. But sorry, that was just a passive
Speaker 1: aggressive comment that only me and Christina will get because
Speaker 1: it has to do with the event we went to yesterday.
Speaker 1: All of life's not an ad. Sometimes we just like stuff. Yeah, um,
Speaker 1: but yeah, thank you so much to listening for listening.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much to listening to Let's put it up, guys,
Speaker 1: we fucked the anti slut shaming podcast. We'll have a
Speaker 1: guest next week and we'll talk to you. Looks gone,
Speaker 1: look nice. I've been smoke to a list, so I've
Speaker 1: been wound up most site. I'm so solry for muscles ys,
Speaker 1: this warm little home mom looks down by now. I
Speaker 1: just want to be your game. I'm so sorry you
Speaker 1: are you got say sounding life? Stop the body? Why't
Speaker 1: got it? Yeah? Much soding on my sell you a
Speaker 1: phone to I do the world so we alone. I
Speaker 1: don't need to an that's for your health. I just
Speaker 1: can't win when this stock process is contray. She was
Speaker 1: time is gone by now I can't act. He can't
Speaker 1: work out. I don't need to be a play and
Speaker 1: got to you a day. I taste out in the mindset,
Speaker 1: get far apart, but I can't got it and I
Speaker 1: turn you. I'm so flush out the light. Yeah,