Speaker 1: Welcome to Guys We Fucked. Guys We Guys Book. I'm Christina.
Speaker 1: I'm correct. Sorry about last night, the anti slut shaming podcast.
Speaker 1: I never stopped. Hello, Fucker's Welcome to another episode of
Speaker 1: Guys We Fuck. It's the anti slut shaming podcast. I'm correct,
Speaker 1: I'm Christina. Today's show is sponsored by talk Space, the
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Speaker 1: and come cee us live please. We're gonna be in
Speaker 1: so many studies. We're gonna be in Sacramento, We're gonna
Speaker 1: be in San Francisco, We're gonna be in Ottawa, We're
Speaker 1: gonna be in Buffalo. Yeah, and we're gonna be in
Speaker 1: San Diego and Hasbrooke and Denver, Portland's St. Louis, Charlotte,
Speaker 1: Virginia Beach. Just go to sorry about last Night Comedy
Speaker 1: dot com slash tours. You get all the ticking links
Speaker 1: and just a heads up. I know people were asking
Speaker 1: about that Irvine show. We did have to take that
Speaker 1: off the calendar because of something that we're working on
Speaker 1: here in the city. We will do everything in our
Speaker 1: power to reschedule that this year, so whole tight. We apologize,
Speaker 1: but is for good reason, promise UM. And then Thursday,
Speaker 1: January eight is Nacho Bitches at New York Comedy Club.
Speaker 1: The shows at ten thirty, co hosted by a special guest,
Speaker 1: co host and myself. UH tickets or twelve dollars with
Speaker 1: code Nacho. The next day, Friday, January nine, is Glamor
Speaker 1: p Us Coasted by myself at Wendy Starling. It starts
Speaker 1: at seven thirty pm at Zinc Bar in the West Village.
Speaker 1: UH and tickets of fifteen bucks if you click on
Speaker 1: the link in the description of this podcast episode right
Speaker 1: here right now, all the links of all the things
Speaker 1: that we've been talking about all right, this, you can
Speaker 1: click on it perfect. Um, she's gonna be here in
Speaker 1: fifteen minutes. I can have her. Do you want to
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Speaker 1: fucking Burrow. How was your New Year's smooth? Transition? Definitely
Speaker 1: didn't stop him between recorded. What are you talking about?
Speaker 1: My New Year's was great? I um coughed my way
Speaker 1: all the way to Seattle. That's how you flew there? Yeah,
Speaker 1: by cough power good. And then I stayed up for
Speaker 1: several hours with migraine, but then things got better. I'm like,
Speaker 1: sounds terrible. No, it was really fun. Thank you so
Speaker 1: much to everyone who came out to Parlor Live and Bellevue.
Speaker 1: It was just a fun. It was a fun night too.
Speaker 1: I Mean there's so really I like so rarely go
Speaker 1: anywhere like by myself, whether it like not be with
Speaker 1: like James or Alfred or you or somebody like always
Speaker 1: traveling with someone, and so it's kind of very weird
Speaker 1: experience like be alone, especially for New Year's on like
Speaker 1: a day across the country. Yeah that it's like so
Speaker 1: far from home on a day that is so heavy,
Speaker 1: and I had kind of a very just like I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm not just have like a nice day
Speaker 1: of reflection. So I went to the Glass Garden uh
Speaker 1: in Seattle because I was like, literally, yeah, it was
Speaker 1: like I could pick like one one thing to do
Speaker 1: when I was like, that seems like calm and beautiful,
Speaker 1: and it was. And it was a bombing forty degrees,
Speaker 1: so I wasn't heaven because it was like eleven degree
Speaker 1: is over here, and I just walked around. You know,
Speaker 1: I fell in love with Connor the glass blower. I
Speaker 1: mean he doesn't know I exist, but I mean he
Speaker 1: just really had a passion for glass blowing and a
Speaker 1: lot of tattoos a little sense of humor with it.
Speaker 1: So that was nice. And um, it sounds like a blonde.
Speaker 1: I don't was he blonde? I don't know why I'm
Speaker 1: picturing a blonde now. He was like Mexican. I know,
Speaker 1: Connor's a weird name for that, but he's definitely like
Speaker 1: of Latin Latino oft but also like Latino but then
Speaker 1: had like kind of like Weezer glasses on and texts
Speaker 1: and just like really knew how to move that rod
Speaker 1: for the class blowing. I took a lot of videos.
Speaker 1: I gotta say, if you're just tuning in, this is
Speaker 1: not a metaphor. Karin is truly admiring the talents of
Speaker 1: a glass blower, because I'm sitting there thinking like, is
Speaker 1: this a skill we really need anymore? No, But it's
Speaker 1: nice because because they kept making these bulls and stuff
Speaker 1: and they're like, you want to make it just like perfect.
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what can make glass perfect? Yeah?
Speaker 1: A digital three deep printers. It's almost like if I'm
Speaker 1: gonna buy something that's hand blown, like I wanted to
Speaker 1: be a little fucked up. Yeah, you want there to
Speaker 1: be in perfection. Yeah, someone blew that. And you know,
Speaker 1: like I didn't really realize this, but like they're actually
Speaker 1: literally blowing into the rod. It's not just a clever
Speaker 1: heated it's not just like it's like a blow jump
Speaker 1: looks like a robots dick. There's a long rod. I
Speaker 1: mean it looks like growing into I would say a
Speaker 1: broom handle. Robots really feeling creative, so and I mean
Speaker 1: just so many chances to get really really severely burned.
Speaker 1: Um wow, dangerous life. And that's why I like firefighters. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And like one of the one of the props they used,
Speaker 1: I don't think they word as prop tools. One of
Speaker 1: the little skits in their costumes. So one of the
Speaker 1: one of the tools they use is just like six
Speaker 1: layers of news apern and I'm like, surely they've invented,
Speaker 1: you know, things that will like even of admit, seems
Speaker 1: like a better choice, oh, to like prevent the heat
Speaker 1: from trails, so they could pick some they used that
Speaker 1: they use the newspaper to kind of like shape shape
Speaker 1: the glass. That's like two thousand degrees literally, and I
Speaker 1: just feel like they are literally it's two stronger choices. Well,
Speaker 1: I mean that was the correct you know. I know,
Speaker 1: That's why I'm admiring it because now literally sounds like
Speaker 1: no one's ever using it correct. But then when they do,
Speaker 1: like literally he was such a babe, and um yeah,
Speaker 1: So we did that, and then I went back, you know,
Speaker 1: putting on this like crushed green velvet dress I got
Speaker 1: from Nasty Gow and just like really like sexy while
Speaker 1: it's still covering every part of my body because of
Speaker 1: the excessive weight I've gained this year and just just
Speaker 1: to really you know, you know, then went on stage,
Speaker 1: had some fun sets, hung out with Midnight, Um did
Speaker 1: anybody perform? And they like interrupted their set with he stopped.
Speaker 1: We all did a count on together, Steve Byrne and
Speaker 1: all the other comics and myself, and then just you know,
Speaker 1: this random kid Luke who just decided to come up
Speaker 1: on stage and break dance. Sounds like a fucker, Yeah,
Speaker 1: who knows. And then you know, hung out with two
Speaker 1: other fuckers pretty much all night with the other comics
Speaker 1: because I was just like, you're in your thirties, I'm
Speaker 1: not scared, and because they had low you know that
Speaker 1: sometimes the high energy is frightening for me and um appreciated,
Speaker 1: but just from you know, from a distance, yeah, just
Speaker 1: a little, you know, I run very just almost dead
Speaker 1: and um, barely breathing. Guys, pulses just too want to
Speaker 1: keep it that way. I don't get excited about it.
Speaker 1: My pulse is very, you know, very low. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: I'm not Jill and I found Steven's beanie. Oh there
Speaker 1: it is, and um yeah, and it was gonna Then
Speaker 1: we ended the night by not being allowed and in
Speaker 1: fact getting kicked out of the adjoining a hotel restaurant
Speaker 1: thirteen coins um, and so I suggested after a couple
Speaker 1: of shots that we should probably go. Uh. Well, they
Speaker 1: had founded Denny's in the area was the only thing
Speaker 1: that was open, and I said, well, good thing, because
Speaker 1: coincidently place my favorite restaurant is Denny's. No joke at all.
Speaker 1: And then I suggested that we not only leave, but
Speaker 1: leave chanting Denny's because we were they cuts to thirteen coins. Yes,
Speaker 1: and Steve byrne Um he did yes, and that very hard.
Speaker 1: And so I mean, I feel like, just what better
Speaker 1: way to end or start the year than chanting Denny's
Speaker 1: as you leave another establishment, getting into some lifts whose
Speaker 1: treating like shit and eating moons over my hammy, which
Speaker 1: was my last favorite dish, is my last meat of
Speaker 1: the my last meet because I was like, I'll stop
Speaker 1: the meat eating when I wake up the next day,
Speaker 1: like yeah, so that was my moons over miammy was
Speaker 1: my last slaughtered mammal of the year. And now just
Speaker 1: farting a lot from I have not I went outside
Speaker 1: to fart today. I just because I was like, this
Speaker 1: so bloated, and uh, yeah, it'll eventually go. It's I'm
Speaker 1: bloated for the animals. So for you cow, well, it's
Speaker 1: good that it's for the animal, because farted on al
Speaker 1: for a lot the point where he has to get
Speaker 1: out from under the covers. I was gonna say, he
Speaker 1: probably thinks it's great, but no, no, I mean there's
Speaker 1: a point where I think he probably is actually suffocating fumes.
Speaker 1: What did I do? Mom? Well, I haven't smelled or
Speaker 1: heard anything, so you're fine? Oh yeah, No, I mean
Speaker 1: I hold I hold it in Ali me too. I mean,
Speaker 1: we're in a workplace. We can't be farting. But I
Speaker 1: was thinking today, I'm like, surely some of these people
Speaker 1: are farting. Now, how can I see it or smell
Speaker 1: it or we'll see it. I mean, I just haven't
Speaker 1: smelled anything, but now me either. But I'm like, people
Speaker 1: have to be farty. Usually guys don't care. One time,
Speaker 1: a guy I was at a show and I was
Speaker 1: gonna say, I'm showing a guy just like burped really
Speaker 1: loud during a pause in my bed. I'm like, Wow,
Speaker 1: you just did Damn. How does it? How is it?
Speaker 1: How is life that you could just do that and
Speaker 1: then just not give a very comfortable No one else
Speaker 1: cared either. Wow, I would have cared if I was there.
Speaker 1: I was just more impressed than the comfort level, and
Speaker 1: the I would have mystification of that's a word right, whatever,
Speaker 1: Let's read some emails. Hey, if you want to email us,
Speaker 1: it's sorry about last night show and gmail dot com
Speaker 1: it's baby and just a question yourself. Yeah, or that.
Speaker 1: If you have ever emailed as though it's about oppressing issue,
Speaker 1: I do recommend reading the email backs a lot. If
Speaker 1: I was people answer their own questions. Well that's what
Speaker 1: I meant. I mean, I didn't, I like, you know,
Speaker 1: reflect from moment. Yeah. Sometimes I write fake emails to
Speaker 1: myself and then I read I'm like, oh, yeah, all right.
Speaker 1: The subject on the line of this is I want
Speaker 1: my fiance to die. I love happy all Happy New Yeah,
Speaker 1: Hi guys, I love your podcast. I've been with my
Speaker 1: fiance for almost two and a half years, and I've
Speaker 1: tried to break up with him several times, and every
Speaker 1: time he guilts me into taking him back. I've pretty
Speaker 1: much surrendered and have been trying to make the most
Speaker 1: of this relationship because at this point I feel like
Speaker 1: I am stuck. He is very controlling and manipulating, and
Speaker 1: I've never hoped for someone to die so much in
Speaker 1: my life. I honestly feel like it's the only way out.
Speaker 1: I've tried slowly moving some of my things into a
Speaker 1: friend's house without him noticing. But now he is working
Speaker 1: from home and I can't even get time for myself anymore.
Speaker 1: I really need help. I don't know where to turn
Speaker 1: to or what to do. He's never hit me, what
Speaker 1: a hero or anything, but he has definitely raped me
Speaker 1: many times. Oh okay, that's not good. I'm too embarrassed
Speaker 1: to talk to anyone about my situation. I tried going
Speaker 1: to counseling, but I was scared he was going to
Speaker 1: find out, so I stopped before I met him. I
Speaker 1: was a very strong willed person and he has just
Speaker 1: broken me down so much. How can I ever get
Speaker 1: out of this? Any abduys would be helpful? Thank you?
Speaker 1: Um wow, I'm so it's funny that, um, the prison
Speaker 1: people that can be created in your head is stronger
Speaker 1: than any actual prison. It's really uh because I you know,
Speaker 1: on looking into your situation and reading your email, like
Speaker 1: you need to put your foot down and you need to,
Speaker 1: but but physical safety is something that you know. I
Speaker 1: can't if you're if you're not going to therapy because
Speaker 1: he's gonna find out and you're scared that to me,
Speaker 1: and if he's raped you so your physical safety is
Speaker 1: at risk. I would create when we interviewed um Ashley
Speaker 1: a long time ago, who uh would create with her
Speaker 1: client's safety plans. That's exactly what you need. Form that
Speaker 1: with your friend. So you know there has to be
Speaker 1: times he's works from home, but there has to be
Speaker 1: times where uh where he's not around or you get
Speaker 1: go and get groceries and like literally you have to
Speaker 1: I mean you absolutely have to have a safety plan, agree,
Speaker 1: because you can't do this uh haphazardly at this point,
Speaker 1: especially because you know he's kind of tracking you. But
Speaker 1: you need to make a move, and you need to
Speaker 1: make a move A S, A P, friends, family, anyone. Uh.
Speaker 1: You are not trapped the way you think. It feels
Speaker 1: like you are trapped and that's a very strong urge.
Speaker 1: But you can get out of this with by doing
Speaker 1: those moves. Yeah, and it's a new year, and it's
Speaker 1: like I think it's like a like a great time,
Speaker 1: as stupid as that sounds to kind of just be
Speaker 1: like this is the year in this has to end now,
Speaker 1: but it's not like but the plan is like meaning
Speaker 1: like activate this plan immediately, because the longer you wait,
Speaker 1: the more difficult it's going to be not only for
Speaker 1: yourself emotionally, but you don't. You You're just every day
Speaker 1: is another day that you're you're in an unsafe uh situation,
Speaker 1: and you're getting in the animals deeper and deeper and deeper.
Speaker 1: And there's times in my life where I've been very
Speaker 1: weak willed with certain things, and I think back to myself,
Speaker 1: like I me two years ago would have never stood
Speaker 1: for this, And I always kind of try and channel
Speaker 1: the stronger version of myself that I was previously for
Speaker 1: whatever reason that I lost and kind of go, well,
Speaker 1: if if someone would have told Christina three years ago
Speaker 1: that this would have been the situation, what would she
Speaker 1: have said or what would have But what advice would
Speaker 1: you give to a friend going through the same thing,
Speaker 1: Say it was a friend's situation, you kind of look
Speaker 1: at it with different eyes, yeh um, and see that
Speaker 1: it is possible to get out. And I know it's
Speaker 1: very easy to say because they are not my things,
Speaker 1: but you need to remove yourself. So like even if
Speaker 1: you leave for milk and never come back, uh, and
Speaker 1: then maybe come back later with like truly an army
Speaker 1: of people where he cannot do anything harmful, even if
Speaker 1: you come back with a police escort, a secure guard,
Speaker 1: something to get your possessions back or if you know,
Speaker 1: a lot of times people will send other people to
Speaker 1: go retrieve their things. I'm sure there's kind of services
Speaker 1: or friends or just people just strengthen numbers. Um. Hopefully
Speaker 1: he doesn't have any weapons or anything like that. But
Speaker 1: you the first thing is like you just need to
Speaker 1: remove yourself, find a safe place where you can stay.
Speaker 1: And I mean in the meantime, you know, just making
Speaker 1: sure he's not tracking your kind of uh Internet usage
Speaker 1: and such. Get yourself. Get yourself, yeah, get change your passwords,
Speaker 1: change your passwords, get your soft you know, some kind
Speaker 1: of maybe like even like a fucking throwaway like cricket
Speaker 1: phone where you can make these plans uh and uh
Speaker 1: and and situate a safe place where you can you
Speaker 1: can stay because you you need to get out, and
Speaker 1: you need to get out so fast. I cannot tell
Speaker 1: you how important it is to to move thoughtfully and quickly.
Speaker 1: I don't like scare you, but like make a plan
Speaker 1: and do it. That's that's that, let us know what happens.
Speaker 1: I mean, I always like whenever we read these emails
Speaker 1: and all out advice I'm like, please follow up and
Speaker 1: tell me if that it helps, if something did change,
Speaker 1: Um yeah, um okay, and then this so so this
Speaker 1: next emails A called I turned into a sleep psychopath. Hello, ladies,
Speaker 1: my boyfriend and I have a wonderful relationship and I
Speaker 1: need some advice. I'm fucking vicious in my sleep. He
Speaker 1: works long, crazy hours and by the end of the
Speaker 1: day is exhausted. There are some nights to wake up
Speaker 1: because I'm screaming bloody murder, and then I'll giggle and
Speaker 1: then I'll just go back to sleep like a normal
Speaker 1: fucking human being. Again. Recently, I've been waking him up
Speaker 1: because I'll sit up, pinch the fucking ship out of him,
Speaker 1: laid back down, and again resumed to being a normal
Speaker 1: fucking human being. The last time I pinched him, he
Speaker 1: said he watched me do it. I sat straight up,
Speaker 1: eyes open, grabbed his fucking skin. He whacked my hand away,
Speaker 1: and then I made disappointed sounds, laid back down and
Speaker 1: slept like a normal fucking human again. I'm worried I'm
Speaker 1: going to start choking him or something. I like him.
Speaker 1: I don't want to hurt him. That's good. He's starting
Speaker 1: to get irritated. I understand that, but I have no
Speaker 1: recollection or explanation why I'm a sleeping psychopath. Some advice
Speaker 1: please help? Um? Okay, you have just a sleeping psychopath
Speaker 1: over psychopath. Yeah, I mean I quickly googled this. I
Speaker 1: mean again, we're no doctors, but you have you have
Speaker 1: you have a sleep disorder. Sleep violence is certainly a
Speaker 1: thing that is semi common. But from the reading I
Speaker 1: did today, uh, you can escalate and it can turn violent.
Speaker 1: I mean not to be dramatic, but there have been
Speaker 1: stories where people have literally like stabbed their significant others
Speaker 1: in their sleep with no recollection of it. So this
Speaker 1: is something you definitely want to go and talk to
Speaker 1: someone about. I'm sure if you have insurance, Uh, some
Speaker 1: something like this would be treated by or covered by insurance. Um.
Speaker 1: And if anybody has a similar situation and they found
Speaker 1: something that really worked, let us know, afford it to
Speaker 1: the to the lady who emailed us. Yeah, and it
Speaker 1: can be just a sleep disorder, or it can be
Speaker 1: linked to it like a more serious psych uh psychiatric condition. Uh.
Speaker 1: But there's like things like you know r E M
Speaker 1: sleep behavior disorder, which is r B D Uh so
Speaker 1: you could have that. There's a couple of different things
Speaker 1: you could have, but it's definitely something that you want
Speaker 1: to get checked out. Don't worry. I mean, it is
Speaker 1: a common thing, but again, it can escalate, so you
Speaker 1: you know, you don't want to hurt yourself or someone else.
Speaker 1: You know, there's other things you could do. You could
Speaker 1: hit your head, you could fall, you could start walking around,
Speaker 1: you could leave your home, a lot of different things.
Speaker 1: So definitely want to get that checked out. A sleeping
Speaker 1: is crazy, man, sleeping so crazy. I I was, well,
Speaker 1: I'm getting better, but I was the biggest bit in
Speaker 1: the morning. Well it's the point where all no one was.
Speaker 1: Everyone was scared to talk to me in the morning.
Speaker 1: And then I found this, the term sleep depression. I'm like,
Speaker 1: fucking for real. But it is a thing where you
Speaker 1: you get your r e M. Gets interrupted so in
Speaker 1: the morning, like I've never remember being a kid and
Speaker 1: just being truly The only time I've ever felt truly
Speaker 1: depressed and wanted to die is when I woke up.
Speaker 1: I'm like, well that's not gonna start the day. But
Speaker 1: then it wears off. I'm like, oh, well never mind,
Speaker 1: I used it. Yeah, I used to feel that way,
Speaker 1: but then just turned out I hid my job. You know,
Speaker 1: I'll do it well. I mean, I'm sure that was
Speaker 1: part of it for me too. I'm very excited lately.
Speaker 1: I'm waking up, so that's good. Um, okay, you guys, Uh,
Speaker 1: huge honor an episode we're starting the fucking year with.
Speaker 1: I know, we're really excited. She just left my house
Speaker 1: and we had the best conversation and I cannot wait
Speaker 1: for you guys to hear it. This guest on Guys
Speaker 1: We Funcked this episode is a stand up comedian. She's
Speaker 1: an actress, she's a writer, she's a fucking Martyrer. She's
Speaker 1: an atheist. She is a lovely human being. You may
Speaker 1: know her from movie she's been in, you know, Reality Bites,
Speaker 1: The Truth about Cats and Dogs? What on American Summer?
Speaker 1: You ever heard that one? She was that one. She
Speaker 1: is a comedy legend and we are so honored to
Speaker 1: have her. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the show.
Speaker 1: Janine Garofolo. Great, your fuse job low and to yourselttle
Speaker 1: funing cry ask me for me the song that you
Speaker 1: star loud and cry for me. It's a figure to
Speaker 1: figure you word a fool, so deeply enough enough to
Speaker 1: deep enough lost in lution, do escape when the girls
Speaker 1: get boring, dream ask me for me that song that
Speaker 1: you sely lord and love to me, it's a figured
Speaker 1: to figured you lot of fool. So we are here
Speaker 1: with Jenny Garoffalo. Such an honor, the honor responsible. What
Speaker 1: a day. I mean, this is Janine read our book.
Speaker 1: I am going to brag about that for every told
Speaker 1: everyone at our place of work today, like the first
Speaker 1: thing I said, go read our book. I'm out of
Speaker 1: big deal whatever. And at first I thought I wouldn't
Speaker 1: be able to relate to it because I wasn't quite
Speaker 1: familiar because I am a bit of a luddite to night.
Speaker 1: I don't listen to podcasts, and that's don't take that personally.
Speaker 1: I don't, but I don't listen as But um I
Speaker 1: I knew about the show, and then we had talked
Speaker 1: about it before when we met before, and I remember saying,
Speaker 1: do you guys, Oh, I don't have so little to
Speaker 1: say on the topic because I just not um ay,
Speaker 1: I'm not comfortable with that kind of language. And I
Speaker 1: think that's generational and also just me. But I think
Speaker 1: it's younger people are so much comfortable with the P word.
Speaker 1: Do you like hearing it or does it make you
Speaker 1: feel weird? Feel uncomfortable? Because when I was growing up,
Speaker 1: it wasn't common currency, where which a lot of younger
Speaker 1: comics it's like nothing. I can't I started stand up
Speaker 1: in eighty five. I honestly can't recall anyone saying it
Speaker 1: the way that they do. Now. I'm not saying it's
Speaker 1: a bad thing. I'm just saying the casualness with which
Speaker 1: it's like yeah, and and and whenever I hear it,
Speaker 1: it's like, it's like, that's fun. It's like a for
Speaker 1: private intimate, like your partner says it when you're intimate.
Speaker 1: But comics say it as a just as a can
Speaker 1: you say, do you not like saying it at all?
Speaker 1: Like is it liberating? No? It's also at my age
Speaker 1: just doesn't wear well, you know. I feel like it's
Speaker 1: just I feel like it's a young man's game that
Speaker 1: that kind of talk. It's just And also in my
Speaker 1: personal life, I don't speak that way, so it would
Speaker 1: be unusual to say it on stage. But I remember
Speaker 1: like the first time I ever discovered curse words when
Speaker 1: I was a kid. Very distinctly. I was in my
Speaker 1: childhood friend Steven's house and we were maybe five or
Speaker 1: six and he was playing a video game and was
Speaker 1: like ship and I'm like and then we were alone.
Speaker 1: He's like, who cares, No one's here. I'm like, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: and they were like fuck shit, damn it. And we
Speaker 1: felt like the biggest rebels. When I was a little kid,
Speaker 1: I swore all the time because uh and I can
Speaker 1: remember this and I can it just was the thing
Speaker 1: I did a lot all the time as a child
Speaker 1: because it's just because it feels edgy, feels I don't
Speaker 1: know why. And did your parents ever curse? My parents
Speaker 1: actually had uh No, And this is a true story.
Speaker 1: I've known my father all my life. He's eight now.
Speaker 1: I have never heard him sweat. This is true. And
Speaker 1: we had a car crash once when I was a kid.
Speaker 1: Head on car crash and he went son of a bear.
Speaker 1: That that is a true story. That Now. My mother
Speaker 1: would say Hell's bells every once in a while. But
Speaker 1: what does that mean, Hell's bell Hell's bells? I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't know, but it was and then de genera
Speaker 1: and it was well. My mom died young but my
Speaker 1: she would be eighty now my father's I think it's generational,
Speaker 1: you know, they just didn't. I think to relationships between
Speaker 1: parents and children are so different now because my mom
Speaker 1: was talking to me um when we were home for Christmas,
Speaker 1: and she was saying, you know, my brother and her
Speaker 1: and my dad are in therapies are kind of working
Speaker 1: out some issues that they have, and she's like, I
Speaker 1: would I don't get it. I would never raise my
Speaker 1: voice to my parents ever, like that idea seemed so
Speaker 1: foreign to her. I would raise I was a star
Speaker 1: a teen, I was sir, let me get away with
Speaker 1: murder that way, Like I said whatever, I would mumble
Speaker 1: and then what and I would slam doors and relitionately.
Speaker 1: My parents loved this too well. They were too because
Speaker 1: they were raised very strictly. They grew up in the Bronx.
Speaker 1: My dad was one of the nineteen thirties and their
Speaker 1: parents were from elsewhere who came here as children. My
Speaker 1: father's parents came from Italy when they were your second generation. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and my mother's parents came from Ireland as children and
Speaker 1: settled in the Bronx in the Irish and Italian and
Speaker 1: they were raised in a very strict household. Uh, and
Speaker 1: had very little money. And unfortunately, as happened a lot
Speaker 1: in the nineteen seventies and days when there was a
Speaker 1: middle class growing, uh, we were over indulged in. So
Speaker 1: they wound up with some very surly, ungrateful Oh. Si absolutely,
Speaker 1: and I take no pride in saying that. And my
Speaker 1: parents they were teenagers when they had my brother. I
Speaker 1: mean they started young. How many siblings do you have?
Speaker 1: Five altogether? But um, oh something dropped, but two of
Speaker 1: the sisters are from the second go round, after my
Speaker 1: father got married, after my mom passed away, So uh,
Speaker 1: there's three and then two more. Five. Did they give
Speaker 1: you any sort of sex talk? Oddly interestingly, Um, my
Speaker 1: mom gave me a pragmatic A pragmatic talk about if
Speaker 1: you were to get pregnant, you come and tell us
Speaker 1: and we will pay for your You were spoiled because
Speaker 1: they had kids a teenagers. That that's the one thing
Speaker 1: they didn't want repeated for their kids. And my father
Speaker 1: is incredibly religious and conservative. My mother was um a
Speaker 1: quiet I think atheist and democrat, but my dad was
Speaker 1: so overwhelming she didn't feel comfortable putting that forward. But
Speaker 1: the one thing was we wouldn't trade you kids, but
Speaker 1: if we had to do you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I don't know that they meant as teenagers to start. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they didn't mean to start having my family. Now, once
Speaker 1: they did it, they committed fully and they were a
Speaker 1: team and they did the best they could. But I
Speaker 1: think that it was they would have probably rather explored
Speaker 1: life a little more. And they were so, um so concerned.
Speaker 1: And then of course my siblings mostly got married young
Speaker 1: and and did did not not that young, but um,
Speaker 1: I think they would have preferred. My siblings took that
Speaker 1: advice more. Were they were your parents married when they
Speaker 1: got pregnant with their first child, So they were just teens,
Speaker 1: got pregnant and they were boyfriend and girlfriend. They had
Speaker 1: broken up. They had a night and my mother got
Speaker 1: pregnant and she actually was going to put it up
Speaker 1: for adoption, and then her mother, who was a tyrant
Speaker 1: who lived with us most of my life, said I'm
Speaker 1: going to take him. And then my mom absolutely no knows,
Speaker 1: we're gonna Then they loved each other and they were
Speaker 1: What I'm saying is I'm not sure that but they
Speaker 1: when you're that young, the idea of raising a child.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's a huge undertaking. She was going to
Speaker 1: have it and then give it up. And and as
Speaker 1: it turned out, my oldest sibling was a problem, damn
Speaker 1: it from from breach birth to straight through. Nice guy,
Speaker 1: But does he know about that story? No? No, his
Speaker 1: m O is all the world's dumb here. He's one
Speaker 1: of those. Get a few beers in him and you
Speaker 1: get a laundry list of who did him wrong. And
Speaker 1: I didn't get this. And well his grandma, I mean, well,
Speaker 1: you don't know what the outcome would have been had
Speaker 1: he been put up for adoption. But the grandma made
Speaker 1: sure he stayed in the family. That was kind of nice. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you seem happy now. He's, like I said, he's a
Speaker 1: very nice guy. He's just he's through the ring, got it,
Speaker 1: and yet has turned out to be a wonderful parent.
Speaker 1: Oh that's great. He's a wonderful father. I'll give him that.
Speaker 1: How old were you when your mom gave you a
Speaker 1: pragmatic sex talk fourth grade? Because she was giving my
Speaker 1: sister one at the same time, So I know that
Speaker 1: that seems very very young. But my sister is three
Speaker 1: years older, and I think she just, for whatever reason,
Speaker 1: decided to do it at the same time. I think
Speaker 1: also to start, she was asserting herself on a path
Speaker 1: that she wasn't comfortable. She always went to church. I
Speaker 1: didn't want to, said my My father goes to church
Speaker 1: every day, every day. He goes to Latin Mass at
Speaker 1: six thirty in the morning. Now then he took a
Speaker 1: break from it. Now that he's getting older and his
Speaker 1: mortality is coming, he's back on that. He and his wife,
Speaker 1: who is a Southern Baptist. Uh, their whole life is
Speaker 1: the church, wheels and charing to the church and all
Speaker 1: of it. And my father is is hardcore. Do they
Speaker 1: have any of the um Like I have a negative
Speaker 1: impression of extreme religious people because to me, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: you're probably homophobic. You probably are against women's rights and
Speaker 1: stuff like. Do they have that as well or they're
Speaker 1: nicer than that? Although I think because of uh, like
Speaker 1: I said, generation generationally again, Uh, there are issues I
Speaker 1: don't agree with. And my father for whatever reason, has
Speaker 1: elevated Clinton bashing to a philosophy. He's one of those.
Speaker 1: He's just he He actually was the first to get
Speaker 1: past the eighth grade, and he he went to Columbia
Speaker 1: and discovered a book by William F. Buckley called God
Speaker 1: a Man at Yale, which was like his Bible. It
Speaker 1: was this this kind of conservative that is not Fox
Speaker 1: News type conservatism, but it is just as cruel in it,
Speaker 1: but areudite cruel And he says things like they you know,
Speaker 1: I mean, and he votes incorrectly. Yeah. I got a
Speaker 1: father does that too. But my dad on election night,
Speaker 1: Dad of Texameto Paula, He's like, I'm sorry, Christina, because
Speaker 1: he knew how upset I was. And I was like,
Speaker 1: that's at least nice that you could. You know, my
Speaker 1: dad abstained, which still I don't forget. You know, Hillary
Speaker 1: Clinton one of the most qualified candidates that's ever been,
Speaker 1: and you're gonna upstay, You're gonna ubstain, which at least
Speaker 1: he didn't vote for Trump, which is something I guess
Speaker 1: it's still to not even And he just at this point,
Speaker 1: if he were to pull at the thread of all
Speaker 1: the things he's wrong about at this point, yeah, just
Speaker 1: so much. But we've done nothing but argue about politics
Speaker 1: interesting for many, many years. And I was actually very
Speaker 1: religious too. I went to a religious university by choice,
Speaker 1: Province College, and by the time I was a senior.
Speaker 1: I was like, this is the questions. Yes, was the
Speaker 1: moment because I had questions. Yeah, I was always had
Speaker 1: some questions growing up, but didn't I always just felt
Speaker 1: my dad was right about everything. And then I was
Speaker 1: visiting some friends at Wheaton College. Uh who, I was
Speaker 1: saying some nonsense, some something and and and one of
Speaker 1: the the girls said, you are so full of ship
Speaker 1: and she was right, you know what I mean, as
Speaker 1: you know, said yes, I felt it. It was one
Speaker 1: of those moments. And also I discovered Howard's in. Uh,
Speaker 1: somebody gave me Howardson's book. Um, he's just a guy
Speaker 1: who understands history correctly, not the history we've been told.
Speaker 1: And he's a very liberal guy who's uh, he's just
Speaker 1: right about everything. So when the combination of that person
Speaker 1: saying you're full of ship and reading Howard's In's People's
Speaker 1: History of the United States, it just opened up a
Speaker 1: whole new world for me. And I realized my questions
Speaker 1: were correct, and my family is not correct about what
Speaker 1: they're saying, and I have to stop just going along
Speaker 1: with it as a tough lesson to learn. I feel
Speaker 1: like some people go through that embarrassed. It hurt me
Speaker 1: at the time, but she was absolutely right. I was
Speaker 1: saying some kind of nonsense, my father said, I was
Speaker 1: just repeating. That's always like such a weird moment when
Speaker 1: you realize that your parents aren't these kind of like
Speaker 1: just oh all knowing creatures that you thought they were.
Speaker 1: Sucks people up. And that's why I'm like, I don't
Speaker 1: know if I wanted kids anymore. They could be the
Speaker 1: best parent ever and fuck your get up. But the
Speaker 1: thing is is he didn't. He loved me so very much,
Speaker 1: and he supports actually every political thing because he loves me.
Speaker 1: But he is just wrong about so much stuff. But
Speaker 1: he loves that I feel the way I feel. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he just loves that you're like passionate and they're an
Speaker 1: active citizen of the world. I'm sure that throws me.
Speaker 1: Is he's very smart, That's what he's But you can
Speaker 1: be academically very bright, and still your vision of the
Speaker 1: world is wrong and narrow and all of that and
Speaker 1: just whatever. It's hard to get someone because you can't
Speaker 1: say you're the way you look at the world is wrong.
Speaker 1: I have said that, but you can. I mean, that's
Speaker 1: never going to resonate with the person I would think.
Speaker 1: And as he always says to me, you'll never change
Speaker 1: anyone's mind, although you can sometime someone changed your mind. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that person in the book Come Up made a huge difference.
Speaker 1: Books are books really there? Like this one book or
Speaker 1: this one Like for me, it was like a humanities
Speaker 1: class I took with Mr lair shout out in high
Speaker 1: school and he just started got me thinking about all
Speaker 1: these things and like saying, like, you know, Jesus Christ
Speaker 1: never actually like wrote anything down when I was learned
Speaker 1: about the wild Jesus and like the things that were
Speaker 1: written years after when you learn that crucifixion was the
Speaker 1: most common punishment at the time, five for stealing bread
Speaker 1: and damn and it's and white and you know, flew
Speaker 1: out all these things when you that's the thing. Education
Speaker 1: and science are the most interesting, powerful things. And there's
Speaker 1: a there's a kind of person that doesn't want to
Speaker 1: like the kind of person that hates Michael Moore. It's
Speaker 1: because it's too hard, it's too emotionally difficult and people.
Speaker 1: And my father really dislikes Howard's inn and g Noam
Speaker 1: Chomsky because he doesn't want to hear because then you've
Speaker 1: been wrong and because you're putting a mirror up to
Speaker 1: yourself and you gotta and that's you don't want to
Speaker 1: look at that. And it's easier not to do it
Speaker 1: because you and when you identify, when you wear your
Speaker 1: political beliefs like your fashion sense, and it's a form
Speaker 1: of expression. The grip you have on that is so
Speaker 1: tight that you don't want to throw that away because
Speaker 1: then you feel like you no sense of self anymore.
Speaker 1: And also then you're forced to care more and get
Speaker 1: engaged more. And like I said, my father and his
Speaker 1: wife are of serve all the time at the church.
Speaker 1: And also he's in the the big the Grandpa Calet.
Speaker 1: He goes to read for underprivileged children, things like that.
Speaker 1: But the thing is he still has his opinions about
Speaker 1: those underprivileged children really not not cruel, but I'll say,
Speaker 1: well because their parents did like why they're in that situation.
Speaker 1: He's always like, hey, I made it, I got past
Speaker 1: the but you're a white man. You're a white man,
Speaker 1: and and and he refuses to allow for there was
Speaker 1: much more wiggle room for a white man, especially after
Speaker 1: World War Two, especially if he has a wife. He
Speaker 1: had a wife, his first wife didn't have the same
Speaker 1: political beliefs as him. But she refrained from speaking to
Speaker 1: quiet and she never went to college, and she always
Speaker 1: felt very she that was her main thing. You kids
Speaker 1: have to go to call it, you have to because
Speaker 1: she they also were under the impression that's the ticket,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, get you get a degree
Speaker 1: from college. And and also like when I got tattoos
Speaker 1: to my father because my mom had passed away by
Speaker 1: that time, only like low brow, like long he would
Speaker 1: say long shoreman, a long shoreman. And then I can
Speaker 1: remember one time at my high school somebody from the
Speaker 1: army Navy came to talk to kids, and usually they
Speaker 1: only talked to the kids at my school who went
Speaker 1: to votech which meant they weren't on the college track.
Speaker 1: But I took some pamphlets for the navy thing, and
Speaker 1: my mom said, no, no, no, that's for blue collar,
Speaker 1: which sounds terrible, right, but unfortunately that really is the case.
Speaker 1: They target. Oh yeah, absolutely young people that's have less options.
Speaker 1: And that's a fact. And you're not supposed to say
Speaker 1: that because it seems like you're being a kind. Now,
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about the people who go to the
Speaker 1: citadel and all kinds stuff and then go right to
Speaker 1: officer and things of that nature and the John McCain's
Speaker 1: of the world. But for the most part, people that
Speaker 1: are sent to fight do so because there's not a
Speaker 1: lot of other options for them to do it. And
Speaker 1: that's why the recruiters target certain areas of the country
Speaker 1: and certain types of kids at school that are not
Speaker 1: on the quote unquote college track re they used to
Speaker 1: im in my high school, they absolutely did back to sex.
Speaker 1: Sure you are a sexual. I feel like I may said,
Speaker 1: here's the thing. I'm also a late bloomer. I did
Speaker 1: not have sex until I was twenty one, and then
Speaker 1: didn't again till I was not here, you know, growing
Speaker 1: as a teenager. I did not until I was And
Speaker 1: this is going to sound like I'm lying. I wasn't.
Speaker 1: Probably was a year out of college. Is the first
Speaker 1: time I believe that I didn't even master me till
Speaker 1: I was in college. And uh, it just was. Isn't
Speaker 1: a thing? And I can remember being fascinated by people
Speaker 1: in my peer group who were sexual and thinking like,
Speaker 1: that's a whole different animal. Isn't that something? My my
Speaker 1: chief and these are very close friends of my fourteen
Speaker 1: fifteen sixteen having sex, and I would look at them like, wow,
Speaker 1: that's so interesting that you do that and you knew,
Speaker 1: so he kind of seems like you knew that that's
Speaker 1: not for me. Not that it's not for me, it's
Speaker 1: just also and this I don't even know how to
Speaker 1: articulate what I'm about to say. I remember thinking, who
Speaker 1: would want to date any of the guys in this school, like,
Speaker 1: it's so corny? And I had very good male friends.
Speaker 1: But also I would see drama at the lockers and
Speaker 1: think it was so hack. Not that I had the
Speaker 1: word hack at the time, but this is so corny.
Speaker 1: You guys pledging your on dying love and and fighting
Speaker 1: in the hallway is so corny to me. And even
Speaker 1: though I had very good male friends, I couldn't think
Speaker 1: of one that'd be like, that's a great boy friends.
Speaker 1: Although I had a huge crush on Rob Smarten, who
Speaker 1: in your older than me and dated a friend of mine,
Speaker 1: and he was so funny and smart, and I remember thinking,
Speaker 1: now he's there's something very special about him, and I
Speaker 1: can see what why. But the actual nuts and bolts
Speaker 1: and the date the quote Titian dated dayness of dating
Speaker 1: you know somebody that's lockers or in your home room.
Speaker 1: Seems so traumatic to me, like just uninteresting. Now, I
Speaker 1: would have crushes and would you ever act on those crushes?
Speaker 1: Every once in a while I would try and put
Speaker 1: forth that like, and it was never reciprocated. How would
Speaker 1: you put forth? I'm so curious, just hanging around him,
Speaker 1: always trying to sit next to him, being near him
Speaker 1: at college, and the same thing. Bob Lofflatt was one
Speaker 1: Jim Barry's funny, funny guys who seem to have the
Speaker 1: same taste in music and comedy that I did. And also,
Speaker 1: and this is gonna, I was a very overweight um
Speaker 1: kid intermittently, and then in college I'm five ft one
Speaker 1: and I weighed one sixty and you're so dying. Uh well,
Speaker 1: I'm smaller now than I was, and I'm wearing spanks
Speaker 1: right now. But no, you're very I was um very heavy, thick, thick,
Speaker 1: and that didn't go over well, you know what I mean. Like,
Speaker 1: I always had very good male friends, but they never
Speaker 1: seemed to be particularly attracted to me. And I'm very
Speaker 1: easily embarrassed. So I I I didn't push it, but
Speaker 1: I would always try and sit next to and hang
Speaker 1: around like somebody that made me laugh or something like that,
Speaker 1: or was quite intellectual or something like that. And that's
Speaker 1: not saying like get a load of me. Well, how
Speaker 1: did you view your own body at that time? I
Speaker 1: still do I because we're like, you're such a good ship.
Speaker 1: I'm not at all if I if you, if I
Speaker 1: took off the spanks and the spanks top, it's just
Speaker 1: like a bunch of water balloons or a melting cantel.
Speaker 1: And I was like, it's nothing but stretch marks, corduroy boots,
Speaker 1: you know, corroyos, stretch marks just stretched because when I
Speaker 1: was they were just also in pattern, not the right
Speaker 1: kind of nipples. Yeah, man, it's not the right kind
Speaker 1: of Well apparently the silver dollar pancake ones are what
Speaker 1: people dig. And um just never was a person who
Speaker 1: anyone seemed to be attracted to. Ever. But I think
Speaker 1: of you as like especially like I mean, like in
Speaker 1: eighties nineties, like as being like a set a dream
Speaker 1: girl like rich is an acquired it's an acquired taste
Speaker 1: for acquired taxi. And actually the only time people okay,
Speaker 1: I there was a period in the nineties where somehow
Speaker 1: how I worked a great deal and was very lucky
Speaker 1: in entertainment. There seemed to be people attracted to me then,
Speaker 1: But without that, that would not have happened, do you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like it was I think you're
Speaker 1: My popularity escalated with how many films I was and
Speaker 1: stuff like that, and uh, I would get hit on.
Speaker 1: But there was also a number of gentlemen who I
Speaker 1: was only their nighttime hook up, never during the day,
Speaker 1: and I was not their girlfriend. And I noticed who
Speaker 1: their daytime or girlfriend or people they get photographed with
Speaker 1: look very different from me. Are these famous people? Oh? Interesting?
Speaker 1: And again it sounds terrible to say that, but there
Speaker 1: were certain people that were at the time very very
Speaker 1: famous who I would sleep with late night booty call
Speaker 1: what I was not a person that they would call
Speaker 1: to go to events with? What to be seen with?
Speaker 1: Would you ask any of these people to an event
Speaker 1: during the day and they said no. I just noticed
Speaker 1: that that seemed to be the deal. And I understand.
Speaker 1: I understood why that didn't bother you. That didn't make
Speaker 1: you want to stop, did it? No? Because I wanted
Speaker 1: to sex with him and as I passes on them,
Speaker 1: And also I felt like, yeah, that's that's right. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm not particularly attractive. And and again this is not
Speaker 1: saying poor me. This is an elective professional and also
Speaker 1: casting wise, you are told what your role is. And
Speaker 1: one of my first big movies, Truth about Cats and Dogs,
Speaker 1: it was a retelling of Syran No, the Syrano diversion.
Speaker 1: So I'm so hideous, I have to hide, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying? Like that's And also there was feedback
Speaker 1: once from another movie with a very famous person who
Speaker 1: I was sleeping with at night and the set and
Speaker 1: the casting director said, I can't I can't cast you
Speaker 1: because no one would believe he was attracted to you.
Speaker 1: And I guess I should give that guy kudos for honesty,
Speaker 1: but that's what he was saying. And I was sleeping
Speaker 1: with that person at night, but it was not that
Speaker 1: person's daytime, daytime, or or quick your girlfriend, or that
Speaker 1: you would go to events. Did you tell that person
Speaker 1: the producer like really because I'm funny? No? No, no, no,
Speaker 1: of course not. But also I agree with that I am.
Speaker 1: I want to quote Helen Hunt, I'm as attractive as
Speaker 1: I am and I'm not as attractive as I'm not.
Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean like, and also, there's
Speaker 1: no nobility in being great looking. So it's not like
Speaker 1: this a great thing, you know what I mean. So
Speaker 1: it's not like like, isn't that great? You're so attracted,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? You can be these parts,
Speaker 1: so it's not like it's noble to be these things.
Speaker 1: I was reading your I was read your Wikipedia page
Speaker 1: and it said that you were up for the role
Speaker 1: in Jerry McGuire. Yeah, that's there's about friends and Jerry McGuire. Now,
Speaker 1: there was one of the casting people who was pushing
Speaker 1: for me for Jerry McGuire, and uh, And I think
Speaker 1: Reneez Elleger did a great job and was far better
Speaker 1: than I would have been in it, and also was
Speaker 1: younger than than me, and I think the person was
Speaker 1: supposed to be younger. And one of the the casting
Speaker 1: people that was pushing for me indicated that maybe if
Speaker 1: you lost some weight, and I was willing to do
Speaker 1: it because I thought this will be important and I
Speaker 1: like the script. And I took a bunch of diet
Speaker 1: pills and got much thinner and still didn't get it
Speaker 1: because renez Elle Wagger got it because that's who Cameron
Speaker 1: Crowe wanted. And I think she was great. There's been
Speaker 1: other roles where that's happened before, where casting has been
Speaker 1: honest with me about you just not we're going another
Speaker 1: way with it, which what they mean. And again this
Speaker 1: is an elective profession. This is not poor me. That's
Speaker 1: the way it is in mainstream entertainment. If you don't
Speaker 1: like it, don't do it. Um. But but the thing is,
Speaker 1: I was never trying to be good a good looking.
Speaker 1: That's what always flummexed to me. They were putting it
Speaker 1: on you. Why are you putting it on me like
Speaker 1: I'm putting myself forward? Is this I'm just you know?
Speaker 1: In the breakdown it said I was supposed to look
Speaker 1: like a regular person. And also this happened with um
Speaker 1: David or Russell, who I think is a wonderful director
Speaker 1: and is much nicer now. Um. We had a meeting
Speaker 1: about that Flirting with Disaster, and it was to play
Speaker 1: the part Patricia are Kent wonderful actors great in it
Speaker 1: was to play and in the script she was supposed
Speaker 1: to be uncomfortable with their body, had had baby weight
Speaker 1: on her, all this kind of stuff. And when we
Speaker 1: had coffee and met about he said, I want to
Speaker 1: cast Jean trouble Horne, and I remember saying to him,
Speaker 1: do you realize is how antithetical that is to what
Speaker 1: you're saying? And also tay Leoni had been cast, So
Speaker 1: what is the dilemma Ben is going through with this?
Speaker 1: And we talked about it, and I have to say
Speaker 1: I was doing SNL at the time and I got flowers.
Speaker 1: He would probably never remember this that night saying I
Speaker 1: thought about it and you were right, And he went
Speaker 1: with Patty Harquett, which is why, which is great, and
Speaker 1: I think she's great, but I still think she's quite
Speaker 1: beautiful and all this kind of stuff. And also having
Speaker 1: having said that I'm not comfortable with sexuality on screen,
Speaker 1: even the times I've had to fake masturbate UM film
Speaker 1: that I wouldn't be comfortable painful. Well, I got really
Speaker 1: drunk for Krats and Ox when I did masturbate UM.
Speaker 1: Did they like did they know? I always want to
Speaker 1: get actors getting drunk and said did they know? Did
Speaker 1: you do? I don't think I did it privately. Oh
Speaker 1: so it's just a camera trail. I don't know if
Speaker 1: anybody that kila to be able to do it. I'm
Speaker 1: not the kind of actor that can disappear my self.
Speaker 1: It's not me, you know. I don't even want to
Speaker 1: walk around in my underwear in front of my boyfriend,
Speaker 1: let alone on on on film and all this kind
Speaker 1: of stuff. And there's a reason certain actors stay on
Speaker 1: the A list. If you will, like I, I felt
Speaker 1: precipitously like I had a good run from about to
Speaker 1: about two thousand one, and then it was done. But
Speaker 1: I don't do the things one needs to do to
Speaker 1: stay current. I'm not a real go getter. I don't
Speaker 1: go to the gym. I don't take care of my skin.
Speaker 1: Where Sally Hanson leg make up on my face, that's true.
Speaker 1: Why would I lie about I don't know. I was like,
Speaker 1: that's really funny. Your skin does look amazing. Well, why
Speaker 1: do you wear that on your face? It's just faster,
Speaker 1: you know, they makes in like regular. It's not the same.
Speaker 1: It's not it's not as cheap. Sally Hanson what she
Speaker 1: says on the car, well, I've uncomfortable. I don't have kids.
Speaker 1: It's not about that. It's just about it as you
Speaker 1: get it, Dwayne read or Sevia what have you is
Speaker 1: spread it and uh. But the thing I'm not a
Speaker 1: like a worker be that way, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: And I don't put myself out and do the things
Speaker 1: one needs to do to remain not on the A
Speaker 1: list even but like relevant, I think that's a certain
Speaker 1: kind of person media platforms. I saw it, and boy
Speaker 1: did that change my career, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Like nothing change it, you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 1: it's just that's the way it is. But at the
Speaker 1: same time, like the work that you put into stand
Speaker 1: up and the like that kind of work, and a
Speaker 1: lot of times a lot of actresses I would, I
Speaker 1: would imagine would never put in that because that's like
Speaker 1: that is rigorous in a different I actually find it.
Speaker 1: It's fun and enjoyable and I like it. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: one of the things I enjoy doing most. I don't
Speaker 1: enjoy for the most part trying to act and stuff.
Speaker 1: But that's where the money is is when it when
Speaker 1: it comes in. Because we were talking about that, we
Speaker 1: were like, you seem to act a lot, but also
Speaker 1: don't seem to love it. Don't over your career. For
Speaker 1: the most part. Most of the films and stuff I've done,
Speaker 1: no one's ever seen from two thousand two like these
Speaker 1: are like low budget films. It's like, can you bring
Speaker 1: some jeans from home? You know? And IM ready for
Speaker 1: four movies? No one will ever see a year um
Speaker 1: for the most you know, there are people that come
Speaker 1: up to me and say, what, why did you quit acting?
Speaker 1: I didn't, but I understand why you would think that.
Speaker 1: But the reason I still do it is because sometimes
Speaker 1: it's very fun and it also enhances how many tickets
Speaker 1: I can sell on the road for stand up. It's
Speaker 1: always in service of staying relevant for stand up. But
Speaker 1: I am willing to have less tickets sold because I
Speaker 1: don't want to do the social media plan. I don't
Speaker 1: want to tweet. I don't want to put myself out there.
Speaker 1: There's a fake me tweeting for something. Yeah, I and
Speaker 1: a fake there's a fake person pretending to be me
Speaker 1: on social media, which is a bummer. But I don't
Speaker 1: do that stuff. That's a full time job in and
Speaker 1: of itself. But I feel the more you put yourself
Speaker 1: out there, the more you give people a reason to
Speaker 1: dislike you. So true to have want to give your
Speaker 1: feedback that you didn't need on yourself, right, you know
Speaker 1: the phrase you're your own worst critic. I wish that
Speaker 1: was true, uh, or somebody else that's gonna come up
Speaker 1: with something you didn't even think of that. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: just but and that gets to you because that, I mean,
Speaker 1: doesn't roll off my back at all. If I was
Speaker 1: in a film and my my performance was was criticized poorly,
Speaker 1: I would yeah, that would feel like ship crit And
Speaker 1: I've had such vulgar things said about us on the internet,
Speaker 1: And at first I was like, why would anybody be
Speaker 1: so mean? But then I started to laugh at it
Speaker 1: because it's so transparent that they're just projecting. But that's
Speaker 1: a difference. I can't stand it, and it hurts me terribly,
Speaker 1: and I I can't stand when people tell me about
Speaker 1: something something somebody mean. I'm a fan. I'm a fan
Speaker 1: of killed a messenger because I think that that's why
Speaker 1: would I thought it was funny? Come on, you know,
Speaker 1: I try and not know about it, and and I
Speaker 1: think I have an emotional reaction to it because of uh,
Speaker 1: my political activism, especially during the time I worked at
Speaker 1: Air America during the Bush era. The backlash was so severe,
Speaker 1: the death threats were so how often would you get
Speaker 1: death Oh my god? At Air America, we got them
Speaker 1: all the time all this and what how elaborate were
Speaker 1: they were? They just some would be hand delivered to
Speaker 1: my home because it's easy, it's an easy target. It's
Speaker 1: low hanging fruit, a person in entertainment. Of course, the
Speaker 1: Pope was against the war two. I doubt they were
Speaker 1: vitriolic about the Pope. They probably screened his many. You know.
Speaker 1: The thing is, though there was somehow hand delivered hate mail.
Speaker 1: This is going back years. You know what I mean
Speaker 1: to my apartment. Uh sometimes it would say I see
Speaker 1: you walking your dogs or I'm going to do to
Speaker 1: you and um I learned by I had to hire
Speaker 1: a security person to go through the mail because it
Speaker 1: was my manager was getting so much of A two
Speaker 1: like that. I think people forget how bad it was
Speaker 1: after nine eleven. During the Bush era if you were
Speaker 1: critical of Iraq and Bush in general, there was just
Speaker 1: this uber faux patriotism and it was like a sport
Speaker 1: to go after, especially people who were an entertainment because
Speaker 1: it's easy, it's easy and hack and also in a
Speaker 1: lot of UH news outlets, they will only bring on
Speaker 1: people that can be mocked and marginalized easily. There were
Speaker 1: plenty of people from the Pentagon that people could respect
Speaker 1: against the war. Don't have them on because let's have
Speaker 1: the easy realized that the more you went on CNN
Speaker 1: and I went on Fox and Friends and stuff, which
Speaker 1: was of fools, Aaron. But the hate and vitriol for
Speaker 1: for being perfectly correct about my stance against the illegal
Speaker 1: invasion and there were no weapons of my strikes, among
Speaker 1: other things. That's what's so unjust about it. Now, if
Speaker 1: I had been doing something that merited a backlash, that
Speaker 1: I can understand. Also, my career really tanked, tanked it
Speaker 1: at that point. To um, I had a number of
Speaker 1: projects just pulled because of letter writing campaigns of the networks,
Speaker 1: because there's nothing more cowardly than a network executive. But
Speaker 1: and then I you realize, oh, I wouldn't want to
Speaker 1: work with them anyway if they're be that as it may. Again,
Speaker 1: these are I I don't mean to sound poor me
Speaker 1: because this is another profession. Let me stress that it's
Speaker 1: an electric profession. But since that experience I now am
Speaker 1: very sensitive about I will not seek out any comments
Speaker 1: about me. I have no wish to know because it
Speaker 1: hurts me terribly and it also confirms my worst fears
Speaker 1: about myself. I already pile on criticism to me, so
Speaker 1: it's like the straw that breaks the camel's back all
Speaker 1: the time. I have a real problem with self loathing
Speaker 1: that you think, oh, I don't know, my I don't know,
Speaker 1: and it's narcissistic in and of itself, you know, So
Speaker 1: there's nothing it's it's a shameful thing. But the amount
Speaker 1: I be rate myself in my mind, um every narcissistic
Speaker 1: because of the amount of time sending it on yourself.
Speaker 1: And I would never be that mean to another person.
Speaker 1: I would never say the things about another person that
Speaker 1: I say about me to me in my mind. And
Speaker 1: you're still ever since you were a kid until now kids,
Speaker 1: And I think it might be inherited because I have
Speaker 1: the sense my dad did it because I would catch
Speaker 1: him talking to himself everyone, so especially when he's driving
Speaker 1: and I'd be behind his neck, and I'd seem be like, sha,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, like seemingly berating himself. I
Speaker 1: see the same exact thing. Well, you we learn how
Speaker 1: to act towards things. I've told the story before in
Speaker 1: the podcast, but I remember when I was in fourth grade,
Speaker 1: we did some project where we wrote down all these
Speaker 1: facts about ourselves. And I wrote down my weight, and
Speaker 1: I remember seeing another woman very embarrassed about how much
Speaker 1: she weighed. I was a little kid, and I just
Speaker 1: didn't I was like, oh, I guess you should be embarrassed.
Speaker 1: And I remember the teacher came around and looked at
Speaker 1: my worksheet. I covered just the weight. I was seventy
Speaker 1: six pounds in fourth grade. I covered it, and she's like,
Speaker 1: why are you doing I'm like, I'm embarrassed about how
Speaker 1: much normal. It's a feminized thing, and I think girls
Speaker 1: as young as six, seven, eight, But you're learning about
Speaker 1: it because you learned about it from the wider society.
Speaker 1: And then there's a whole other thing that is curious
Speaker 1: to me about the big beautiful plus size embraced your
Speaker 1: curves where there are some people who are who are
Speaker 1: I don't know that you're curvy. I mean you could
Speaker 1: brace your curve. You know what I mean? You're actually unhealthy.
Speaker 1: That sounds like I'm being mean. I'm not. I don't
Speaker 1: begrudge something anything talked about. That sounds the kind of
Speaker 1: way when like very attractive people keep talking themselves up.
Speaker 1: I feel you should keep it to yourself. Like when
Speaker 1: people we can see, like you know Charlie s Throne,
Speaker 1: who I think is a wonderful actress. I don't know her.
Speaker 1: She seems like a very decent person, but she has
Speaker 1: characterized herself as a beautiful woman in interviews before which
Speaker 1: she is there's no doubt about it, but really keep
Speaker 1: it to yourself. I feel like you hear that beauty.
Speaker 1: Like I know beautiful people who always like talk about, like,
Speaker 1: you know, how beautiful they are, and they're like, well,
Speaker 1: that makes you lessful, Like you don't need to say that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's because then I'm like, what are you so defensive
Speaker 1: about it? Said? And I think there's a foe. I'm
Speaker 1: just comfortable with my body. It's a trojan horse for
Speaker 1: exhibitionism and show offs or sometimes when you see um
Speaker 1: like this is so dumb that I pull up these
Speaker 1: things like do me more. I wanted to do strip
Speaker 1: tease because I'm uncomfortable with body. No, you're not you
Speaker 1: you worked hard for it. I get that you worked
Speaker 1: hard for it. You're beautiful, but don't pretend it's empowering.
Speaker 1: I don't like the empowering, the faue empowerment of some
Speaker 1: of the sexuality because it tends to be a sexuality
Speaker 1: that that appeals to the male gaze. GZ it's still
Speaker 1: under the rubric of what we are taught is supposed
Speaker 1: to be, like depilitarizing, you know, no hair on your body,
Speaker 1: high heels, all this kind of stuff. Would you do
Speaker 1: that if you were on your own and not told
Speaker 1: that that is something? Or like every you know, there's
Speaker 1: always infomercials in ways like to have a great body,
Speaker 1: but how about like the life of the mind, when like,
Speaker 1: how about working that much on on being kind or
Speaker 1: being really intelligent or reading a lot? Well, the insecurity
Speaker 1: breathe industries and that's why they I feel like those
Speaker 1: types of industries are so terrified of even going there
Speaker 1: because then they're realizing people could find what they really
Speaker 1: need within themselves through something as simple as practicing kindness,
Speaker 1: and then no one's gonna buy theirself help. And there's
Speaker 1: plenty of like people that practice you know, kindness and
Speaker 1: so on and so forth. It's just there's something about
Speaker 1: the the fake uh hack line of it's empowering my
Speaker 1: sexuality and also attack attack like in in in movies,
Speaker 1: and we're gonna take this artist to the next level
Speaker 1: with the video by now, Uh, she's lost weight and
Speaker 1: she's really sexualized. It doesn't make the music better, it
Speaker 1: doesn't level. Yes, it is for the executives and all that,
Speaker 1: and it's not edgy, it's not. It's it's the oldest
Speaker 1: trick in the book. It's it's as common as as
Speaker 1: a metaphor for something that's very common. Yeah, I'm curious
Speaker 1: about you're you don't feel sexual. But when there was
Speaker 1: a period of time where you were sleeping with famous men,
Speaker 1: well know, just just a few, only because they were funny.
Speaker 1: We were friends. But that I mean, and it's not
Speaker 1: because they were famous. They very very funny, and uh,
Speaker 1: they're famous for a reason. They happened to be at
Speaker 1: the time, and we happened to be working together and
Speaker 1: it led to because I used to drink like a
Speaker 1: fish and it just always led to that and it
Speaker 1: was compatible in that way. But at night. Um, But
Speaker 1: also I have to admit I don't love being in relationships.
Speaker 1: I'm not afraid to be alone. And having said that,
Speaker 1: I've lived with my boyfriend for seventeen years. Very good friends,
Speaker 1: but that's more about real estate in New York City,
Speaker 1: and we're very good friends. How do we We don't.
Speaker 1: He was in a band I loved, and he was
Speaker 1: very cute, and I would always go see the band,
Speaker 1: and I uh forced myself upon him in the nineties
Speaker 1: and then it just went on from there and we're
Speaker 1: still together now. But it was because we weren't monogamy
Speaker 1: us for a great many of those years. We would
Speaker 1: still be together. I think because he was on the
Speaker 1: road a lot and I was away a lot, and
Speaker 1: we had we were allowed to explore. I don't think
Speaker 1: we would have made it this far. Yeah, I I
Speaker 1: think a lot of couples are still together reluctantly because
Speaker 1: they've never had that type of discussion, because they uncomfortable
Speaker 1: with it because you assume monogamy relationship. We just started cheating.
Speaker 1: I wasn't cheating. We were separated so much in the
Speaker 1: early days because he was in a band that was
Speaker 1: torn quite quite a lot back then, and I worked
Speaker 1: quite a lot back then, and we were frequently apart,
Speaker 1: and we both drank a lot. Do you still drink
Speaker 1: or no, No, I don't. I quit drinking in two
Speaker 1: thousand one, But um, that had a lot to do
Speaker 1: with it. When I discovered alcohol, I felt normal sexually,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like, I felt like the
Speaker 1: voices stopped and I was able to well because insecurity
Speaker 1: would keep you from getting horny, I think, right. But
Speaker 1: also it made me feel sexual. Now when I was sober,
Speaker 1: there was a period where I was highly libidinous, which
Speaker 1: I think was a biological imperative. About the age of
Speaker 1: third thirty eight to forty four. There was something that
Speaker 1: maybe my body was saying, if you wanted to have
Speaker 1: a kid, this is it, this is it. It went
Speaker 1: up to like regular levels. But all I wanted to
Speaker 1: do was have I didn't want to hang out with
Speaker 1: the people at all. And I was also at the
Speaker 1: time living at the chateau moment. I can't tell you
Speaker 1: how that lends itself, living in a hotel to sexual debauchery. Um,
Speaker 1: I just want to have sex. I don't want you
Speaker 1: to stay. I don't you know what I mean. And
Speaker 1: then oddly, finally when I was aloof, then all of
Speaker 1: a sudden, people these guys that formerly were not that
Speaker 1: interested were interested. It's all about being aloof if I
Speaker 1: had shown interest in them, because then when I would
Speaker 1: be like, oh I do like them, they backed way off.
Speaker 1: It's that push pull. They want to be aloofness because
Speaker 1: we all want to be liked. It's like a science project,
Speaker 1: like why are you aloof Why? Why not me? Even
Speaker 1: though you might not want it, you just want to
Speaker 1: prove that does that make sense? I want to prove
Speaker 1: that I don't. But the moral aloof I was because
Speaker 1: I would be very upfront about it. I just want
Speaker 1: to have have sex, but I don't want it to
Speaker 1: be an online thing, and is that okay with you?
Speaker 1: And these would be men that I genuinely liked and
Speaker 1: was interested in, and it seemed like this is odd,
Speaker 1: Why why do these guys seem to like me and
Speaker 1: want to spend time? Now this has never happened before,
Speaker 1: but it was my yeah don't this isn't a thing
Speaker 1: I would like to Yeah, yeah, yeah, And you really
Speaker 1: meant it. You weren't trying to be like, yeah, it
Speaker 1: was not It was not a game. But there would
Speaker 1: there would be times prior to that when I showed
Speaker 1: like there was a couple of guys in my life
Speaker 1: who I was so crazy about, Like just right now,
Speaker 1: I could start crying, thinking, really, isn't that weird? Crush?
Speaker 1: Like crushes? Were you in love with them? Well, I thought, so.
Speaker 1: I don't know, just I just was crazy about them,
Speaker 1: and they just wouldn't reciprocated, reciprocate beyond being funny and
Speaker 1: fun and sometimes having sex late night, and I just
Speaker 1: it wouldn't. It would just feel so like why this
Speaker 1: seems to be working out so well? And and I
Speaker 1: swear to you, if you just give me an inch,
Speaker 1: I'll give you a mile. If you just would show
Speaker 1: me a little bit of something, I would give you
Speaker 1: all the freedom in the world. But because you're being reclusive,
Speaker 1: I'm pushing, which I know what I mean, what is
Speaker 1: less appealing? Yeah, but and also like what's more devastating
Speaker 1: to be I I felt, I felt that way. It's
Speaker 1: so funny. I I had a a fun buddy. I
Speaker 1: guess who was a famous person and uh on off
Speaker 1: for five years and some of them were not famous too.
Speaker 1: Let me be clear aby that I'm just I don't
Speaker 1: want to sound like it's like I don't my fame
Speaker 1: is no. But but I think part of what attracted
Speaker 1: me to him was that because he was famous, he
Speaker 1: earned it. He worked his ass off, he was very
Speaker 1: funny as a comedian and um, and the fame that
Speaker 1: power to be on top of him, having sex with
Speaker 1: him and and seeing him have an orgasm. The power
Speaker 1: trip that that gave me because he was famous, I
Speaker 1: was some like twenty year old nobody, uh was like
Speaker 1: so addicting. It almost better than the orgasm. It's intoxicating.
Speaker 1: People tend to be attracted to people they see doing
Speaker 1: things in public that that others seem to respond to,
Speaker 1: and I think it's I think that's just natural. But
Speaker 1: these as well, being quote unquote, I was commensurately sort
Speaker 1: of famous at the time with them, so it wasn't
Speaker 1: really about that, and we happened to be friends, right,
Speaker 1: and they happened to be smart and funny. So I
Speaker 1: just saying the word famous is very off putting. I
Speaker 1: realized for your listeners this may sound horrible, so and
Speaker 1: and believe me, I couldn't be further from famous now.
Speaker 1: But there there are still some some people from back
Speaker 1: then where I honestly felt like you can cry. Oh,
Speaker 1: I've cried so many times. I mean, this is a
Speaker 1: this room has seen a lot of tears, so many
Speaker 1: from me from Karin. But I would be with them
Speaker 1: and I would feel like my heart's going to explode,
Speaker 1: like that's how fun. But they will not. And you're
Speaker 1: standing right outside of the glass and you just let
Speaker 1: me in, just in for just for that little on
Speaker 1: their terms. Yeah, and it's your own. That's an out
Speaker 1: of control doing that. It's too takes two to do that.
Speaker 1: You have no one to blame but yourself as well.
Speaker 1: And it's not like these were horrible mean people at all,
Speaker 1: but they because of whatever there is whose are, they
Speaker 1: need to have a certain uh type of female on
Speaker 1: their arm because it reflects upon them, and that tends
Speaker 1: to be more male. I hate gender generalizing, but females
Speaker 1: tend to be turned on by other things and they're
Speaker 1: okay with Well, that's why you'll see that. Then Katherine
Speaker 1: Heigel casted together and no one blinks. That's just producers
Speaker 1: and male writers and stuff I'm talking about. But in life,
Speaker 1: like when you see like beautiful women married to like
Speaker 1: this kind of geeky doctor or something like, it's all
Speaker 1: the time. That's why I'm fascinated by Lady Gaga because
Speaker 1: even though she's so gorgeous, she is still not considered
Speaker 1: like like a level Hollywood gorgeous, which is beyond because
Speaker 1: she's unique looking, she doesn't look the way she's in
Speaker 1: a time. You know, she's a girl is much more
Speaker 1: interesting than Gorgion. Yeah. I totally agree with that, and
Speaker 1: and that's why I love why she was kind of
Speaker 1: dating people who are quote unquote more attractive than her.
Speaker 1: I was like, yes, that's like what that's exactly or
Speaker 1: it's something like you're fascinated, Like when Hugh Jackman, who's
Speaker 1: married to a handsome woman, You're like, I like him,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like it's just anomenly too.
Speaker 1: But she she's a beautiful woman in her own Another
Speaker 1: one of the guys in I was so in love
Speaker 1: with Jimmy you were really Oh my god, I still
Speaker 1: am to this day. He's the nicest guy and when
Speaker 1: people when people criticize his niceness, it's terrible. That is
Speaker 1: authentic and he is he always looks like you're having
Speaker 1: the best is the nicest, funniest guy. I have been
Speaker 1: so in crushed with it. I mean honestly, back in
Speaker 1: the old days when I first met guy, he made
Speaker 1: me laugh so hard and was so nice and oh
Speaker 1: my god, charming too. He smiling like on sn L.
Speaker 1: He was always everyone and he's got a great what
Speaker 1: you know, what I mean, like he's one of the
Speaker 1: good guys, and I don't like it with people, like
Speaker 1: he's so nice and he's got to be fake because
Speaker 1: people listen. I hate when people use kindness though as
Speaker 1: a as a fault. It's not Wonder Woman, even though
Speaker 1: she was hot, but the fact that some of her
Speaker 1: superpowers revolved around kindness and love. I'm like, thank you
Speaker 1: for praying strength because that has been held against me
Speaker 1: my whole life as it should be. I mean mainstream Hollywood,
Speaker 1: there's a whole there's a whole issue with the parent,
Speaker 1: you know, like with the Perfect Murder, Michael Douglas and
Speaker 1: Gwyneth Paltrow married, he was at her baptism for real
Speaker 1: and real life. It's disgusting. They'd never they'd never do
Speaker 1: it the other way. And if there was that age
Speaker 1: difference between the man and woman, that's what the movie
Speaker 1: would be about. Do you mean Carold and maud Calden
Speaker 1: matter or White Palace with James Spader and Susan Surrannon,
Speaker 1: who was supposed to be if you read the book.
Speaker 1: She didn't look like Susan Surrandon, that's for sure. But
Speaker 1: you know, we're like, while you were sleeping Sandrew will
Speaker 1: exupposed to be what you know, I'm just a normal
Speaker 1: average Yeah, just one of those things where it's that's
Speaker 1: the nature of mainstream Hollywood. It is what it is.
Speaker 1: I get it. You look at people who don't look
Speaker 1: like people you work with, you pay the money. See,
Speaker 1: I understand that. Um My, my issue was I'm not
Speaker 1: trying to be that person. And also a lot of
Speaker 1: the work I'm doing has nothing to do with that
Speaker 1: kind of thing. So why are am I being asked
Speaker 1: to lose weight? Why is their discussions going on behind
Speaker 1: the camera about how to light me? That's why I
Speaker 1: love being a comedian. But it's frustrating because now it
Speaker 1: is it is still about being attractive and losing weight,
Speaker 1: like it really is. I mean, but that's life, and
Speaker 1: that's in every business life, it's the entertainment business in general.
Speaker 1: But it's like it's kind of is frustrating because you're like, well,
Speaker 1: I want to be a comedian so I didn't have
Speaker 1: to worry about those and actually you don't. It's actually
Speaker 1: a choice. You can you can about it or not,
Speaker 1: but then you can not be seen for other movie roles.
Speaker 1: But the thing is, though there's a million beautiful women.
Speaker 1: There's not a million, um Melissa McCarthy, who is a
Speaker 1: beautiful one, if you know what I'm saying. And talent,
Speaker 1: and there's ones that stand out and grab your attention
Speaker 1: to inspire people, and those are not usually the mainstream lead.
Speaker 1: In fact that those are tending to be the most
Speaker 1: boring parts. And that's male and female. It's just beat boring.
Speaker 1: What I love is Paul Giamatti, what I what I
Speaker 1: love is Parker Posey And and these are you know,
Speaker 1: these are attractive people. Weren't saying? Is they got something more?
Speaker 1: They're unique and they're themselves and and they do really
Speaker 1: good work. But anyway, that's again, I'm sorry I said
Speaker 1: the word famous so many times because it sounds like
Speaker 1: I'm being an assid. Well, I mean, we live in
Speaker 1: and this is the nineties. It certainly isn't happening now,
Speaker 1: what is it? What is the most sexually debaucherous thing
Speaker 1: you've ever done? Are probably almost nothing. I'm a very
Speaker 1: meat and potatoes gal when it comes to that. Because
Speaker 1: a lot of positions are heard, Oh I love missionaries
Speaker 1: the best one I find like how like you know
Speaker 1: what I mean? Like there's a lot of things. And
Speaker 1: also I admit I'm still quite quite repressed drunk, I
Speaker 1: think I would do I think the most. It's not debauched,
Speaker 1: even that's the wrong word. Um. I had sex with
Speaker 1: three different persons people in one day, um like almost
Speaker 1: back to back, all very good friends of mine. And
Speaker 1: it was during that period where my libido was going nuts.
Speaker 1: Now that's never happened before or since, and it's not
Speaker 1: to botched. Would you masturbate a lot when you're libido
Speaker 1: was going nuts? And it's one of those things where
Speaker 1: I feel like, why am I doing this? I'd rather
Speaker 1: somebody else was doing. Like this is sort of how
Speaker 1: often have you have you mastered you've masked? Of course
Speaker 1: I have, yeah, but you see, it's very few and
Speaker 1: far between. Of course I do. Of course I do.
Speaker 1: Some people masturbate and they're like, yeah, I've never came.
Speaker 1: It's a no no. And actually I do really quickly
Speaker 1: like most people, because there's no psychological, psychological baggage whatsoever.
Speaker 1: It's very fast and it's you know, but for the
Speaker 1: most part, I don't do it that much because it's
Speaker 1: not that Yeah, well, if you don't think of it,
Speaker 1: I don't really think of it that much, and I
Speaker 1: don't do it, but of course I have and and
Speaker 1: I do, and I'm actually feel silly talking about it,
Speaker 1: you know, because I'm not second guessing or worried about
Speaker 1: what anybody else's thing. And actually, and you probably know this,
Speaker 1: some of the best I've ever had has been with
Speaker 1: people I am not that interested in having a relationship with,
Speaker 1: because you're just free from you're not in your own head,
Speaker 1: and I prefer people I don't know that there was
Speaker 1: a period where this is part of the alcohol and
Speaker 1: this was not even part of the little business period,
Speaker 1: but there was a part where I was really out
Speaker 1: of control before I quit drinking um, where I wouldn't
Speaker 1: know the person's name, but I would always be pleased
Speaker 1: in the morning we woke up that they would be
Speaker 1: great guys, like, wow, something must have happened, yea I
Speaker 1: blacked out, that you can still be you even though
Speaker 1: you're blackout, even though you don't remember. They always tended
Speaker 1: to be guys. Oh I would have liked this person,
Speaker 1: I mean like that. Luckily, luckily I don't recall like
Speaker 1: a real a bum uh you know, bum hook up.
Speaker 1: And yeah, they always tended to be quite kind of
Speaker 1: interesting and funny and and nice, and so that must
Speaker 1: have happened like in the evening at some point. But
Speaker 1: the and also never used to condom never We're not
Speaker 1: said that, and I'm not proud of it. For the
Speaker 1: most part. Ever, I probably could count it also, but
Speaker 1: I started having you know, I came of age before
Speaker 1: that that was talked about, and so the withdrawal method
Speaker 1: was always the thing. Now, I've never had a pregnancy,
Speaker 1: scare nothing, and as far as I know, no s t.
Speaker 1: I s um probably last time I had my blood drawn.
Speaker 1: You know, the doctor does it, but I very rarely
Speaker 1: get physicals or anything. Instead, I don't do self checks
Speaker 1: of any That's how disconnected from my body I am. Also,
Speaker 1: I don't look for trouble. I don't care to know.
Speaker 1: I don't care to know. If there's something wrong, let's
Speaker 1: leave it. Yeah, yeah you don't know. We'll kill you.
Speaker 1: Yeah it will, but you know you won't be killing yourself.
Speaker 1: I just I don't want to get screened. I don't
Speaker 1: want to know what could happen. I don't. And also
Speaker 1: I'm in perimenopause. I have no wish to right before,
Speaker 1: what does your body do well mine so far intermittently
Speaker 1: you still get your period quite odd, like sometimes it's
Speaker 1: super light, sometimes it's so heavy it's ridiculous, and it
Speaker 1: can be at any random time. And um, I can
Speaker 1: go months without it and then have it every three weeks,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like and I've noticed just
Speaker 1: easy weight gain, you know what i mean like different
Speaker 1: things people talk about. But I refused to go down
Speaker 1: the path what you need to use this cream, you
Speaker 1: need to do this, get this shop not doing any
Speaker 1: of it. People for generations, nobody did anything about it,
Speaker 1: and I'm not. It's a it's a money making business.
Speaker 1: And it also will make you I'm just gonna and
Speaker 1: it's gonna make you more aware of the problem all
Speaker 1: the time when you're applying. You know that that's what's happening.
Speaker 1: It is what it is, and leave it. Yeah, what's
Speaker 1: what did you? What's written? Because well I had things
Speaker 1: just in cause it's I have late Bloomer written and
Speaker 1: pre MTV generation because because also I was one of
Speaker 1: the things that I think I was. I feel lucky.
Speaker 1: And in my high school and junior high, um, fashion
Speaker 1: and sexuality we're not a big thing. There were kids
Speaker 1: having sex. But if you ever saw freaks and geeks,
Speaker 1: do you see that how they dressed? That was basically
Speaker 1: the look subourban New Jersey. It wasn't even grunget that
Speaker 1: was it was army jackets um from when the Gaps
Speaker 1: Cell sold Levi's Corduroys sneakers, it was uncool to care
Speaker 1: about your looks Now. When I went to high school
Speaker 1: in Houston, that was not the case because every once
Speaker 1: in a while my dad worked for an oil company,
Speaker 1: so we would go back and forth to the same
Speaker 1: neighborhoods in every once in a while in Houston and
Speaker 1: New Jersey, but mostly I born and raised in New Jersey,
Speaker 1: and the aesthetic where I was New Jersey was quite
Speaker 1: right for me. It was there was like no people
Speaker 1: cared about the things. You start wearing makeup until I
Speaker 1: was probably twenty six seven years old. That that's true.
Speaker 1: I didn't wear I also went from New Jersey and
Speaker 1: also did not wear makeup for my part my period.
Speaker 1: It's just the look was what you saw in breaks
Speaker 1: and geeks for the most part, and that just and
Speaker 1: there also wasn't huge wealth gaps in that particular high school,
Speaker 1: and it was only two fifty kids in my graduating class,
Speaker 1: and it was a small and most of us have
Speaker 1: been together since kindergarten. There wasn't like cars. People had
Speaker 1: ours and the most of us walked or rode or
Speaker 1: bike to school status and TV hadn't even come on
Speaker 1: the scene yet. It didn't start until um, the latter
Speaker 1: half of my senior year, so I actually feel lucky
Speaker 1: about that. And there was no social media, there was
Speaker 1: no surveillance, there was none of none of that. Now,
Speaker 1: other high schools may have been different, because I remember
Speaker 1: seeing a movie called Fast Times at Ridgemont High and
Speaker 1: read the book before I came out. It was actually
Speaker 1: a book by Camera Crow that I was obsessed with
Speaker 1: because I couldn't believe there were high school kids living
Speaker 1: this way California. They go to they buy things, and
Speaker 1: they're sexual and they and it's like clouds almost currency
Speaker 1: they And then I saw the movie and I was
Speaker 1: fascinated by that kind of life that was not going
Speaker 1: on at least with me. And um, not only was
Speaker 1: I a late when were mixed with a type of
Speaker 1: environment that didn't broadcast sexuality. Um and from a repressed
Speaker 1: fan yeah, and a biologically low libido, it just was
Speaker 1: never an issue. Does that make sense? Yeah, it never
Speaker 1: came up as anything they should feel good or bad
Speaker 1: about it. And even though I knew close friends of
Speaker 1: mine were having sex, there was never like why aren't
Speaker 1: you It just somehow I made it through fine. Now
Speaker 1: college was a whole another issue. There was to be
Speaker 1: bullied in college, is weird. I never thought of bullied
Speaker 1: in college, I mean garden right, because I was very
Speaker 1: I guess, according to a number of people, very unattractive,
Speaker 1: So I guess it was a sport. And that's a
Speaker 1: very religious university, so that's where all the mean people are.
Speaker 1: And it was like, also, my two roommates freshman year,
Speaker 1: we're just asshole, really mean. And unfortunately you put three
Speaker 1: people in a room, two of them, two of them
Speaker 1: I think on their own one of them might have
Speaker 1: been fine. The other one was a real pill. I
Speaker 1: just I think they felt that I was a odd,
Speaker 1: odd person. I was socially awkward, but I think they
Speaker 1: felt I was odd. And also I definitely uh cramped
Speaker 1: their style, being a overweight, no makeup wearing um person,
Speaker 1: and they were what we consider to be desirable, like
Speaker 1: the plastics and mean girls. Just I mean they weren't
Speaker 1: like that like that, I mean we're talking about were
Speaker 1: talking Irish Catholic. Then they were they were like would
Speaker 1: be the hotties at that the parochial school. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: they appeal to a certain type of guy from Catholic
Speaker 1: high school, that's all. And and they just and because
Speaker 1: I allowed them to be mean to me, because I retreated,
Speaker 1: And that's my fault. They smelled weakness, they smelled weakness,
Speaker 1: and they pounced and and that is it takes three
Speaker 1: to tango in that case, you know, that's that's my fault.
Speaker 1: They became increasingly cruel as I allowed it, and um,
Speaker 1: I know one of them feels bad about it now.
Speaker 1: Reached out her daughter, Did we are that's how old
Speaker 1: we are? I met her daughter, who worked at a
Speaker 1: restaurant I was in, who said, my mom was your
Speaker 1: roommate freshman year and she has always regretted that. She
Speaker 1: she said, she was, you know, very and I was like, wow,
Speaker 1: that's very very, that's that's nice. It was traumatic. It
Speaker 1: was very traumatic. And then luckily by the time sophomore year,
Speaker 1: I found some friends and so that was done. But
Speaker 1: that that was very damaging and you lost your virginity
Speaker 1: in college. That one I was one year out with
Speaker 1: my first boyfriend. Boyfriend, and how it was that fun. Well,
Speaker 1: I didn't like going to and I'm so sorry for
Speaker 1: this kind of talk. He was very well endowed. Okay,
Speaker 1: shock see that. I wouldn't put it that way, but
Speaker 1: you're young, and it was uh quite uncomfortable. Ye, I
Speaker 1: was gonna say, you can be too well endowed. And
Speaker 1: so I would always kind of by default, always want
Speaker 1: to do other things that didn't involve that. I didn't
Speaker 1: know that everybody wasn't going to be that well done.
Speaker 1: It wasn't going to So there was a moment where
Speaker 1: you saw his penis for the first time erect and
Speaker 1: you were probably like, he just he was a great
Speaker 1: guy guy, you know what I mean. Like we he
Speaker 1: we had the same taste of music and comedy and
Speaker 1: and and thrift shop because you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: like and I just really liked him. We were very
Speaker 1: good friends and and we and unfortunately I was not
Speaker 1: a great girl because I didn't want to after the
Speaker 1: first time that it hurts so bad. I would always
Speaker 1: say like, can we just do this or this or
Speaker 1: this other kind of thing. And when we did have sex.
Speaker 1: It was quite uncomfortable because then I think I had
Speaker 1: a site goes so medic kind of what is it
Speaker 1: vagin isimus? Will you tighten up? That's my that's me.
Speaker 1: That was totally psychological. Um. And so that happened, and
Speaker 1: then I would make until sex. I would make out
Speaker 1: with anybody and everybody because I was drinking so much.
Speaker 1: But I didn't want to you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: not even any basis. Oh yeah, there's like there's fingers, Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's manual every other thing. But until I was twenty seven,
Speaker 1: because you didn't know that other it's not even just that.
Speaker 1: I just felt like I don't want to be that vulnerable.
Speaker 1: Something about being that vulnerable. I'm so easily embarrassed. As
Speaker 1: I mentioned earlier, there was something about that. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think that's why a lot of people are that why
Speaker 1: the world is weird about sex, because it is one
Speaker 1: of the most vulnerable things. Well, the world is weird
Speaker 1: about it, and then they're not. I mean sex, there's
Speaker 1: some people that are so sex forward. I mean it's everywhere,
Speaker 1: and some people are so comfortable with it, and you know,
Speaker 1: their lives are predicated upon it or they they are
Speaker 1: devoted to every waking moment. You know. So I don't
Speaker 1: know that the world is weird about sex. Some people
Speaker 1: I guess are um. But then you know, like I said,
Speaker 1: the alcohol made it easier. And then I had a
Speaker 1: series of boyfriends, um, and you know, had sex and stuff.
Speaker 1: But I would find that and this again is my fault.
Speaker 1: I would love the initial first phase of a relationship.
Speaker 1: There's nothing more exciting than meeting for drinks and just
Speaker 1: like the newness. And then I would I feel like
Speaker 1: I would, Oh, there's another new person. I'm not proud
Speaker 1: of that at all. I'm just saying that's not something
Speaker 1: to be I was where a fifteen year old would be.
Speaker 1: But that's where I get it. I understand that it's
Speaker 1: interesting when you talk about it because you say you
Speaker 1: feel bad about these things. Are you blame yourself? Because
Speaker 1: I always think it's good to take responsibility for everything
Speaker 1: that happens in your life, to assume, okay, what could
Speaker 1: could I have done? Anything different? Let's assume I was responsible,
Speaker 1: what could I have done? But yours, it's with you.
Speaker 1: The way you're talking about it now, it seems like
Speaker 1: you blaming yourself as more of a shameful. No, it's
Speaker 1: not shaming. I was not as kind to kind people
Speaker 1: who were my boyfriends as I should have been. When
Speaker 1: my eyes started to wander, it wasn't you know. It
Speaker 1: sort of was like, I think we're done, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, in a way I would not like
Speaker 1: to be spoken to, you know what I mean? And
Speaker 1: these are great guys who luckily are still my friend.
Speaker 1: Now I've made a men, you know what I mean. Um,
Speaker 1: for the most part, I've remained friends with every single
Speaker 1: one of them, and we have talked about you know,
Speaker 1: and Greg Barn's whole a lot of his uh impetus
Speaker 1: for a stand up. Greg Barrett and I lived together
Speaker 1: and we were roommates. Who when I moved into that house,
Speaker 1: it was me, Greg Barrett, Laura Milligan at the comedy
Speaker 1: Margaret Show lived there, Um, Jerry Finelli from a band
Speaker 1: called Red Cross. I didn't have a bed yet, and
Speaker 1: I was friends with Greg, and Greg said do you
Speaker 1: want to sleep with me? And and totally it was
Speaker 1: supposed to be platonic, and then we started having sex
Speaker 1: and it was great, and then we just I never
Speaker 1: got a bed, was I just always slept in his room?
Speaker 1: Then I um met so and I and I'll tell
Speaker 1: you Greg Barns one of the greatest people I've ever met,
Speaker 1: and he deserves nothing but respect and kindness. And when
Speaker 1: I met another person who caught my eye, I was
Speaker 1: bound and determined to win this person over who seemed
Speaker 1: aloof and it was and it was so almost cut
Speaker 1: and dry with Greg, and luckily that fed into a
Speaker 1: whole ton of material he got um. And then also
Speaker 1: I introduced him to his now wife, So I feel like, oh,
Speaker 1: I feel like that's good. And we have talked about it,
Speaker 1: you know, about the cruelness. And also I diated Bobo
Speaker 1: and Kirk and didn't end that as well as I
Speaker 1: should have. Yeah, um, you know what I mean, Like,
Speaker 1: there is how would you do you end it? That
Speaker 1: was cruel? In your head? I'm done, I'm done. I
Speaker 1: would like to I don't want to do this anymore.
Speaker 1: I don't want to do this. Yeah, in a curt way.
Speaker 1: That is so there is no justification, there's no justification
Speaker 1: and no defense for it. Um. It was just me
Speaker 1: thinking like we should just just do it. Let's just
Speaker 1: let's just do I'll just say it. But the thing is,
Speaker 1: you know, not factoring in can you imagine if somebody
Speaker 1: did that to you, and actually they have, they actually
Speaker 1: have done it to me. But what I learned from it,
Speaker 1: from the way I did it, I don't don't ask
Speaker 1: questions like when somebody, you know, because of my bad behavior,
Speaker 1: when somebody would never return my calls, there's no need
Speaker 1: to ask why. It answers its own question. Why don't
Speaker 1: you ever call me? Don't ask because they don't want to.
Speaker 1: If they wanted to, they would. Why don't you ever
Speaker 1: want to hang out? They don't want to. So I
Speaker 1: did learn that as a recipient of being treated that way,
Speaker 1: I actually let people off the hook so easy, so easy,
Speaker 1: because I felt it was my penance a for what
Speaker 1: I do. But be oh, I know where they're coming.
Speaker 1: You can know what they're saying, that they are cut
Speaker 1: and drying me. They're done, they're done. And when they
Speaker 1: talk about wanting to maybe take a break, they've already
Speaker 1: started with someone else. That's usually how it happens. They've
Speaker 1: already had their side on someone else. And I understand
Speaker 1: that intuitively. So I've never really given anyone a hard
Speaker 1: time about that. Back as much as it destroyed me,
Speaker 1: I realized, no, I've done that, so I have to
Speaker 1: take that, you know what I mean. But but I
Speaker 1: always and now I'm I'm fifty four. These things are
Speaker 1: not a part of my life anymore. So I'm going
Speaker 1: I'm really've been with the same person for years. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean we did for for a great many of
Speaker 1: those first years we non monogamous. We were non monogamous,
Speaker 1: but now now we are monogamous, but mostly because I
Speaker 1: have no libio and I don't drink any Does he
Speaker 1: have a lubia your partner? Yes, he does, and actually
Speaker 1: I encourage him to express it, to do what he
Speaker 1: wants to do, which I think hurts him because that's
Speaker 1: not what he wants to hear. He wants you to
Speaker 1: want to yes, um, and that men can feel very rejected.
Speaker 1: I didn't realize that. I'm learning this as I go,
Speaker 1: Like if I would. My boyfriend kind of comes on
Speaker 1: to me and he hints that he wants have sex,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, you know, he like it hurts him. Well,
Speaker 1: we're affectionate with each other, and we tell each other
Speaker 1: we love each other, and we're together all the time.
Speaker 1: We get along, but we're very good roommates. I personally
Speaker 1: am not. After seventeen years, it's hard to get to
Speaker 1: get excited about the same per especially with all the
Speaker 1: water run of the bridge and the conversations with the
Speaker 1: bathroom doors open, and having the neurovirus together and food
Speaker 1: poisoning together, and all of these things make it less
Speaker 1: appealing to go down there. Um, if you take my no,
Speaker 1: and I totally get it, but you still want to
Speaker 1: be affectionate and say I love you, because he really did.
Speaker 1: As we do we are best friends and that's the loser. Now,
Speaker 1: that's a beautiful relation we were, but you just you
Speaker 1: just don't have sex any times. I will do a courtesy,
Speaker 1: a courtesy services to to him, But the thing is,
Speaker 1: is it she would prefer And also I don't think
Speaker 1: it makes it makes him feel good when I say please,
Speaker 1: if you want to have sex outside, I want you to.
Speaker 1: I want you to be happy. I want you to
Speaker 1: do what you want to do, which he wants to
Speaker 1: do with you. Now hopefully he is, and it's just
Speaker 1: not discussing because he's not as comfortable discussing these things
Speaker 1: with me, even though we've talked about it as I
Speaker 1: am with him. I am hoping that he does do
Speaker 1: that if he wants to, I would be very happy
Speaker 1: for him, and I hope that he does. I don't
Speaker 1: know if he does or not. That's kind of fun.
Speaker 1: So it's just the friendship and the real estate that
Speaker 1: actually it would neither one of us wants to leave
Speaker 1: that apartment. We really like our neighborhood. Time. Could you
Speaker 1: put a wall up and then you talk to me?
Speaker 1: You know, we can talk or not talk for our
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like you can you can
Speaker 1: still we can stay up still late night giggling like
Speaker 1: schoolgirls and Ben. And then there's other times where I'm like,
Speaker 1: if you don't stop talking, I'm going to knock you out.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm so I don't want to, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. And he feels the same way that
Speaker 1: that's the way it is after seventeen years. But we
Speaker 1: we are very good friends. We need each other in
Speaker 1: certain ways. But I have often thought like he may
Speaker 1: one day fall in love with someone else and and
Speaker 1: and I will be very very sad, but I will
Speaker 1: support it on because he deserves And you know what,
Speaker 1: I've never wanted to have kids, and I think he
Speaker 1: would have been a lovely father. Did he want kids.
Speaker 1: He says he doesn't and didn't. I don't know about
Speaker 1: that though. It's like he just stayed with I don't know.
Speaker 1: Maybe he would have or could have had a whole
Speaker 1: another life. He's a bit younger than me. How much
Speaker 1: he's forty seven, he still can Guys can still do
Speaker 1: it for you know, he can still do that, and
Speaker 1: it will it will be painful. But I want him
Speaker 1: to do whatever he wants. You want him to be happy.
Speaker 1: I want him to be happy. What if you had
Speaker 1: to have what if you fell for somebody? Do you
Speaker 1: think you would you ever imagine that happening? I mean,
Speaker 1: no one ever. I can't imagine it happening. There have
Speaker 1: been massive crushes since that I have not acted on because, uh,
Speaker 1: they've been younger, and also I don't really want it.
Speaker 1: It's just I like the idea of it. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't really well, crush we're talking about you put them
Speaker 1: on a pedestal, but then when you get to know
Speaker 1: k pedestal, so you kind of want to tell yourself
Speaker 1: the lies. So just it's because it's fun, but yeah,
Speaker 1: because it's all in the imagination. And also there's been
Speaker 1: some some men I've met who I'm so viscerally sexually
Speaker 1: attracted to, which is unusual for me. But I can't
Speaker 1: imagine it would last longer than one Yeah, one night
Speaker 1: on it for one night, because I don't want to
Speaker 1: be making in front of anyone anymore. Really, really, I
Speaker 1: really don't. I really don't. I feel like, especially since
Speaker 1: a lot of these guys have been younger some some
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, do you get do you a
Speaker 1: lot of younger men? No, it's not that they're attracted me,
Speaker 1: although I find interestingly very much younger guys tend to
Speaker 1: get crushes on older women. Yeah, they get older, there's
Speaker 1: no way they're gonna then they're going to go back younger,
Speaker 1: but much younger guys that you made it used to
Speaker 1: be in stef seemed to be kind of like crushed out.
Speaker 1: I want a friend of the older female comics, and
Speaker 1: also your allege we have to. We're gonna put our
Speaker 1: foot down and force you to, except there are so
Speaker 1: many younger people that I would have no idea quite
Speaker 1: rightly who I am, and and that's it's not about that.
Speaker 1: There's something about a younger guy, a much younger comedy
Speaker 1: guy who like loves Catherine O'Hara, and they seem to
Speaker 1: be attracted to me and Amy Sadaris and like for
Speaker 1: that age. But as they get older that is not
Speaker 1: going to stay that way. Probably they will tend At
Speaker 1: least what I've noticed is once the guy is past
Speaker 1: thirty five UM or closer to forty, they're no longer
Speaker 1: interested in the older woman than than there they want
Speaker 1: to go because they're only as like young as the
Speaker 1: last person. You suck kind of a thing. And it's
Speaker 1: a weird in there, but I think, but it's totally
Speaker 1: understandable too. There there is objectively speaking, a younger vital
Speaker 1: person and is more attractive sexually viscerally than a fifty
Speaker 1: four year old person. But see, I was always attracted
Speaker 1: to old command I remember well, but I remember not.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I cannot wait untime old enough to have
Speaker 1: sex with a thirty year old person, like when I
Speaker 1: was like thirty, but when I was like when I
Speaker 1: was a kid kid, I'm like, I can't wait. And
Speaker 1: I've always been fascinated that the one guy that I
Speaker 1: had sex with on an offer for five years, who
Speaker 1: was um the comedian, was much older than me, and
Speaker 1: that was part of why it was so hot. But
Speaker 1: it's so funny because like my whole life, I felt
Speaker 1: similar in high school, like I can't none of these guys,
Speaker 1: how can you be? Was criticizing them because they're friends
Speaker 1: and I'm not sexually attracted to someone my age or
Speaker 1: even who's a senior, who cares they're still seventeen. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there was something about it that was not the first person.
Speaker 1: I was twenty five years old, because I thought of
Speaker 1: having sex with someone younger is gross. I've never had
Speaker 1: sex with anybody younger than nineteen. I've never had some
Speaker 1: of the sex with well, it's just there is. I
Speaker 1: think females in general and general again, I don't like
Speaker 1: sweeping generalizations, tend to be attracted to older, more mature
Speaker 1: men because they tend to be more mature than than
Speaker 1: their male peers. But also I think and Lemmy from
Speaker 1: from motor Heads said it best. I think he's a
Speaker 1: font of wisdom, the late Lemmy. Honestly, he said, women
Speaker 1: want sex, of course, but ultimately what they feel most
Speaker 1: comfortable with is security as well, stability, knowing that that
Speaker 1: person respects and cares for them, and also if they
Speaker 1: are going to move forward with having children, they want
Speaker 1: their children to be able to depend upon the partner.
Speaker 1: And I think that that's very true, that that is
Speaker 1: more important to the female, even at the earlier stages
Speaker 1: of the relationship than the male. And I think it's
Speaker 1: in our DNA somehow it's the hunter gatherers or But
Speaker 1: if you, if you are on the track of I
Speaker 1: think I'd like to have kid, you want to not
Speaker 1: have a partner that cannot be depended upon, that cannot
Speaker 1: be a co parent with you, that cannot be protect
Speaker 1: help you. And that's why maybe you're not inherently attracted
Speaker 1: to somebody who has not had their ship together and
Speaker 1: lives at home with their parents and their thirty five
Speaker 1: and their job. And that's not a criticism in this
Speaker 1: economy especially, you know, to each his or her own.
Speaker 1: But I do feel like if I do think there
Speaker 1: was wisdom in what Lemmy said when he was saying
Speaker 1: that for guys, especially younger ones, it is really about
Speaker 1: they're not thinking further down the road in general, and
Speaker 1: for the females because also they could become pregnant where
Speaker 1: the guys can't. There is this thing in the back
Speaker 1: of their mind is is this person gonna be there
Speaker 1: for me, no matter what decision I make about this child.
Speaker 1: And I feel like that that's very true. It's it's
Speaker 1: just a different um wiring. I suppose um that goes
Speaker 1: back to our original blueprint. Yeah, yeah, all that like
Speaker 1: when you're inherently attracted somebody with big boobs, it really
Speaker 1: means because they could feed their children. Like damn. When
Speaker 1: I learned all that, I'm like a man all the trick.
Speaker 1: I think it's there's like a fertility, Like there's like
Speaker 1: a fertility that that that males and other females are
Speaker 1: attracted to U a a ripe young body because it
Speaker 1: implies fertility and stuff like that. I think that's just
Speaker 1: it is. It's good to hear a feminists say that,
Speaker 1: because I mean, that's kind of a very similar to
Speaker 1: the comic Dante Nero. I don't know if you know him.
Speaker 1: He has, you know, The Beige Philip Show, very controversial
Speaker 1: and he was on our podcast and he was one
Speaker 1: of the most controversial episodes. But I was like truly
Speaker 1: listening to what he was saying, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't think this is misogynistic as much as it is,
Speaker 1: and I'm you know, I'm sure he says misogynists and things.
Speaker 1: But the theory in general was just like, no, I
Speaker 1: think this really makes perfect sound. No, I think it's science. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, and there's a reason women to retain more
Speaker 1: body fat in certain areas, and have viable years for
Speaker 1: the childbearing and looks certain ways, and actually are scent
Speaker 1: chemic chemically which will change as you get older. But
Speaker 1: I used to think that my my boyfriend's scent was
Speaker 1: the most intoxicating, honestly smelling his under armed pheromone skin. Yeah,
Speaker 1: as we have aged the two, our scent has changed
Speaker 1: a lot. It is not quite the same. Yeah. And
Speaker 1: you know, so there is many reasons that people are
Speaker 1: attracted to younger people, um and and and and it's science. Now.
Speaker 1: I actually don't happen to find big boobs quote unquote
Speaker 1: particularly more attractive than anything. And I don't tend to
Speaker 1: find classically like we're told, we're told which guys are
Speaker 1: good looking, like in the main street, like Brad Pitt,
Speaker 1: what have you? Seems like a nice got not my thing,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like it's yeah, like I'm
Speaker 1: it is not. I'm like, yeah, I find very attractive
Speaker 1: because of his everything else he's got Yeah, that smiles.
Speaker 1: Every talent and everything I never find. I mean, Tim
Speaker 1: Curry to me is like the ultimate hottie. Like Tim
Speaker 1: Curry home alone too. That's like, well, there's there's other
Speaker 1: things that appealed to me, Like like I said, Paul Giamatti,
Speaker 1: Will Patton, Michael Shannon, the actor Michel were We're at
Speaker 1: a party. Were at Amy Sadriss TV. That's where he's
Speaker 1: on behind me in line, like eight different times, and
Speaker 1: I talked to him. I was like, hey, I love him.
Speaker 1: Since Jesus's Son. I kept thinking, man if I was
Speaker 1: dating him, the role playing we would do and I
Speaker 1: don't do that with partners. I don't role play. I
Speaker 1: feel stupid and then I don't know, I don't see
Speaker 1: the point and it doesn't excite me. I feel stupid.
Speaker 1: But but I'm like, Michael Shannon, what a Oh my god,
Speaker 1: what a what a day? That part of it is
Speaker 1: the talent, and you know what I mean? Like that
Speaker 1: and that evil look in his eye. He's not a
Speaker 1: nice guy. Did you ever see Jesus's Son when he
Speaker 1: said he has long, long hair hilarious on an episode
Speaker 1: of Delocated. Yeah, he's very funny. It's very funny. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but there is certain like I said, Will Patton, Yeah, Patton,
Speaker 1: who I was in Loveson's desperately seeking Susan. But Aidan
Speaker 1: Quinn also, I have to say, Aidan Quinn, everyone's while
Speaker 1: I'll go that route. Yeah, you know, I'm not made
Speaker 1: of wood. George Colony is a great human addressing you know,
Speaker 1: and he's so hot and everything and his wife and
Speaker 1: his wife is it's not just about him being great.
Speaker 1: Can't get around we have to wrap Is there anything?
Speaker 1: Oh my god? So sorry, Monopoly is the conversation. Believe me,
Speaker 1: we are. We've had a very long day. And when
Speaker 1: we have a guest who just takes care of it themselves,
Speaker 1: it is the most beautiful gift you could have kept it.
Speaker 1: I know, honestly. Is there anything less that you know
Speaker 1: that anything you want to promote? Okay, okay, but you
Speaker 1: I want to apologize not saying a word famous because
Speaker 1: it sounds like the ultimate and douchebaggery. Uh, I'm not
Speaker 1: coming out of your mouth. I'll tell you that maybe
Speaker 1: coming out of my mouth, I'm not your scriptive word.
Speaker 1: It's not you know, we we needed to know that.
Speaker 1: I think it was an interesting part of the story.
Speaker 1: If people want to see you to stand up their
Speaker 1: tor show, well, I actually will be at Sketch Fest
Speaker 1: in San Francisco. Yeah, I'm going the eleventh through the
Speaker 1: damn it. But we're here now. But I am frequently
Speaker 1: at Eastville in the stand. And then I got right
Speaker 1: in your Sally Hall in Chicago, and when is that?
Speaker 1: You know we have a lot of Chicago listeners. And
Speaker 1: Moontower Festival in Austin, Oh yeah, I love Moontown, and
Speaker 1: then Dallas after that. I mean I don't know the
Speaker 1: exact dates. I just you have a website, right, No, no,
Speaker 1: you did, but it has updated. It's not me, do who?
Speaker 1: Actually I don't know? Yeah, alright, and me who has
Speaker 1: pictures just of me? What? And it embarrasses me in
Speaker 1: my core? Why would I have a site with just
Speaker 1: pictures of me? Right? But that's just not your with
Speaker 1: Rachel Dretch and stuff like you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like I would do that, and it really bothers me.
Speaker 1: Somebody's doing that, yeah, because it's not it's not me.
Speaker 1: So if you want to see Janine, just just get
Speaker 1: a darn name and google because and then maybe something
Speaker 1: will come up. With I tend to work with who
Speaker 1: really work the social media, so I always know that
Speaker 1: they're going to promote the show. Good. Just enter Janese
Speaker 1: Game into your Google alerts. Yeah, and then maybe I guess,
Speaker 1: but I frequently because I live so close to at
Speaker 1: the stand in Eastville, because they're right by. Yeah yeah right,
Speaker 1: but you post a partial owner of Eastville. I thought
Speaker 1: that on my Wikipedia. I thought you were I thought
Speaker 1: I heard that. And there's like a pup of you.
Speaker 1: That was her phone. No, that a a fan built
Speaker 1: that doll, and you just I placed very nice. It's
Speaker 1: very nice of her. But I was like, I can't,
Speaker 1: I can't. Let's just put it in the club. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: she came to the club. She made that. And I
Speaker 1: actually don't think it looks like me. I think it
Speaker 1: looks sort of like a more ethnic Natalie Merchant. Okay,
Speaker 1: I could see that. I can see that. I know
Speaker 1: the puppet. Wow, I always look at it doesn't really
Speaker 1: look like me. I knew it was supposed to because
Speaker 1: I actually but I also know that you performed there
Speaker 1: a lot, so I put and like you know, process
Speaker 1: of elimination female comedians. Unfortunately, that was very nice that
Speaker 1: you did that, and I'm flattered, but I was like,
Speaker 1: I can't, I can't take this home. Yeah, I get it. Oh,
Speaker 1: it's a puppet of me. Are you inquiring about the
Speaker 1: puppet of the doll of me that I have displayed. Well,
Speaker 1: it's beautiful. It really adds to the East Fellow a lot.
Speaker 1: I think it's just sitting up on top of the shelf.
Speaker 1: It makes me happy every time I go there. Thank
Speaker 1: you so much, thanks for sitting down with us. Such
Speaker 1: a pleasure to talk to you. The pleasure is mine
Speaker 1: as well. It's a two ways, three way stream here
Speaker 1: and it's a great apartment. Thank you, well done, Thank you,
Speaker 1: well done. You two. It's not mine, but I'm guys.
Speaker 1: We've got me here, so that's good. You know what,
Speaker 1: any port and storm, whatever, whatever, I'll take it right.
Speaker 1: I think that any any revenue stream, let any create anything.
Speaker 1: It's always the things you least expect that make it
Speaker 1: that that it's when you're being your most authentic self.
Speaker 1: That tends to be when you set out to do
Speaker 1: something epic. It's because then you're creating content for the
Speaker 1: sake of creating content. But I find that with most
Speaker 1: of the comics. I known stuff. It's the thing they
Speaker 1: did that just was like a passion or because like
Speaker 1: I'm interested in this. And that's because people respond to
Speaker 1: authenticity because you don't get a lot of this. You
Speaker 1: don't get it, and you can sense it when when
Speaker 1: you when you see it or see you know it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're authentic, You're so. You do look tired. What were
Speaker 1: you working on today? What projects were you? Guys will
Speaker 1: tell you where secret it was spoiler alert. I don't
Speaker 1: know even know how that would factor in here. Brutus
Speaker 1: killed Caesar. Oh man, it's a retelling of the assassination
Speaker 1: of Julius Caesar and it was Brutus. Well, thank you
Speaker 1: very Porsche. Now that's in the Temple No, no, no
Speaker 1: Porsches in the Merchant of Venice. But Porsche's in Um
Speaker 1: I did I did Porsche monologue from Julius Caesar in
Speaker 1: the Shakespeare contest and thank you so much. Not even
Speaker 1: in season. She's in Shakespeare in Merchant of Venice, and
Speaker 1: he wasn't Octavia. I don't know, we'll talk after looking.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna look it up. Yeah. I could be wrong
Speaker 1: about that, but I feel like Worshit is merchant Advance.
Speaker 1: Just tweet us this has been guys, but the Anti
Speaker 1: slut Chiming podcast will talk you next Friday. You say
Speaker 1: happy when you wish for the new thing you live.
Speaker 1: Your love such a wife, hold in non suit all day.
Speaker 1: Thanks new life, sure you such a way. It's true,
Speaker 1: It's true. Thank you so much for listening to guys.
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