Speaker 1: Welcome to Guys We Fucked. Guys We Guys Book. I'm Christina,
Speaker 1: I'm correct, We're sorry about last night, the anti slut
Speaker 1: shaming podcast. I never stopped. Hey, fucker's Welcome to another
Speaker 1: episode of Guys We Fucked. It's the anti slushing podcast.
Speaker 1: I'm Karren, I'm Christina. Hello, you're here. Are you at
Speaker 1: your desk? Are you in your car? Are you jogging?
Speaker 1: Are you having sex? Right now? That's odd, but you know,
Speaker 1: whatever you do with your own body, it's your choice. Hey.
Speaker 1: Today's show is sponsored by talk Space, the online therapy
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Speaker 1: If it's good enough to Steven, it's good enough everybody
Speaker 1: else like that says no judgments, Like people are just
Speaker 1: leaving their office to go to therapy and everyone's like,
Speaker 1: look at that fucking that lose what fu? Oh my god,
Speaker 1: you gross crusty old comes he us live. Um you guys,
Speaker 1: we're gonna be in Denver, Colorado, Karina and I, uh
Speaker 1: we got some surprises for you for this gig. It's
Speaker 1: very exciting. Credit are gonna be at the Comedy Works
Speaker 1: tonight tomorrow and that's it. But that's gonna be Really
Speaker 1: it's Thursday, Friday, Saturday. But you're listening to this Friday
Speaker 1: because that's when this comes out. So uh, I hope
Speaker 1: tickets are still available. They probably will be, but only
Speaker 1: a little bit. Because we have a great market in
Speaker 1: Denver and Comic Works is one of our favorite clubs.
Speaker 1: So please come see us. We have two shows tonight,
Speaker 1: two shows tomorrow, and the following weekend. We are in Charlotte,
Speaker 1: North Carolina. You asked for it, you got it. We're
Speaker 1: gonna be at the Comedy Zone March through. Uh. Come
Speaker 1: see us. You if you know this was a highly
Speaker 1: requested location. As it was. We've literally never performed in
Speaker 1: North Carolina besides the Ted Talk but that was separate.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, if I got about that, that was a
Speaker 1: separate instance. So we've never performed stand up comedy really
Speaker 1: besides that random our show. Okay, I'm really just my
Speaker 1: mom's gonna be there in North Carolina. Yeah, because she
Speaker 1: has a we have a family friend in South Carolina
Speaker 1: is driving to North Carolina for the show. Well, there
Speaker 1: you go. You gotta come, guys, it's gonna be so cool.
Speaker 1: Other places that we're heading. St. Louis Portland's please just
Speaker 1: go to Sorry about last Night Comedy dot com slash
Speaker 1: Tours for all of our dates. Also, don't forget April Twoden.
Speaker 1: That's this year. Two Less Lonely Girls. It's a podcast
Speaker 1: for don't women and men probably gonna be gay, but
Speaker 1: if you're straight, that's great. Celebrate it um hosted by
Speaker 1: rosebud Baker, who you've heard on the podcast, and myself,
Speaker 1: I'm Karan Fisher. Uh. It's really cool. It's free. It's
Speaker 1: thirty minutes or less, so you can listen to all
Speaker 1: the podcasts, which really should just be Guys who Fucked,
Speaker 1: and to less only Girls thanks the only ones who
Speaker 1: need and jammers listen to Jammers too, um bombed on
Speaker 1: on that, but whatever the guy fuck is and make
Speaker 1: sure to pick up Christina's albums. Oh yeah, I was
Speaker 1: for you. I'm just promoting other people's things because you know, um, yes,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm deciding right here, right now. Okay,
Speaker 1: with regards to the comedy album that I did with
Speaker 1: Joseph Bessie's formers, Guys who Guests a comedy person, writes
Speaker 1: for Adam Sandler and works for Happy Madiicine, Him and
Speaker 1: I created a comedy album called Maybe It's You. It's
Speaker 1: available on iTunes, Google Plays, uh not Stitcher, um whatever
Speaker 1: the one is, branch. I think it's Google Play if
Speaker 1: you buy, if you've already purchased the album, or if
Speaker 1: you buy the album up until March thirty one p
Speaker 1: A p M. Shut up, Christinea, we wait. Joseph and
Speaker 1: I have bonus tracks that we weren't sure what we're
Speaker 1: gonna do with, and I just decided right here, right now.
Speaker 1: Email that receipt two. Maybe it's you. The letter you
Speaker 1: album at gmail dot com. Maybe it's you the letter
Speaker 1: you album at gmail dot com. Uh, and we will
Speaker 1: send you I personally, I'm going to be the one
Speaker 1: that's doing it. UM will send you bonus tracks. Well,
Speaker 1: I guess you're promoting on a larger platform. That's so true.
Speaker 1: You don't like Joseph is gonna do it because suck
Speaker 1: my clip. Joseph, just because you're a man, so mean,
Speaker 1: you could do a little bitch work on hand, you
Speaker 1: little bitch work for me, thank you. So. But if
Speaker 1: you buy the album, forward your copy of the receip
Speaker 1: you have up until March thirty one, two and we
Speaker 1: will mail you email you back personally myself and or Joseph,
Speaker 1: but probably Joseph because now I want him to do
Speaker 1: because now pissed, we'll email you bonus tracks. And also, no,
Speaker 1: I just didn't know if you were done yet. I know,
Speaker 1: I gotta, I gotta. Uh. And when you're done with that,
Speaker 1: you're gonna need some beauty products because you're stress as fuck.
Speaker 1: So oh I did. That's not on there. This is
Speaker 1: very this is not put together. And also we've been
Speaker 1: drinking UM okay, so then I'm not there's dates on here,
Speaker 1: so nacho bitches, guys, that's the show that I do
Speaker 1: every month. Literally been doing it for years, so you
Speaker 1: should just know about it. Buying shown if you're in
Speaker 1: New York City. Nacho Bitches is Friday, March thirty thirty
Speaker 1: pm at New York Comedy Club, which is on the
Speaker 1: corner of East Street and Second Avenue in New York City.
Speaker 1: Just use code Nacho. You'll get in for twelve dollars. Uh.
Speaker 1: There's a to drink minimum, but like, why wouldn't you
Speaker 1: drinking to drinks anyway? And you can drink soda if
Speaker 1: you're an alcoholic, that's an excuse you're If you're six
Speaker 1: teener and up, you can get in. So if you're
Speaker 1: under twenty one, again, soda chips notcorn. Make it a
Speaker 1: fucking night for yourselves. We have a fucking phenomenal lineup.
Speaker 1: I am so excited um for that, and it's gonna
Speaker 1: be hosted by me and someone whoever decides to fly
Speaker 1: in to town. Whatever, Kran's gonna be there, and that's
Speaker 1: all that matters pretty much. I'm so excited for that
Speaker 1: weekend because the following day, Saturday, March thirty one pm. Oh,
Speaker 1: it's glamor Pous hosted by myself and Wendy Starling. It's
Speaker 1: at seven thirty pm at Zinc Bar in the West Village,
Speaker 1: which is at eighty two West fourth Street. Tickets are
Speaker 1: fifteen bucks. You have to be one up for this one,
Speaker 1: so you can't if you're sixteen to twenty. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: you're great, but you can't come. Um, but I love
Speaker 1: you and it's gonna be fun. And ticket links for
Speaker 1: all of the shows that we are mentioning or in
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Speaker 1: g WF burrow is what cho uh And speaking of abortion,
Speaker 1: I went off the birth control pill. Oh wow, I
Speaker 1: didn't get an abortion, but I might need to know
Speaker 1: that I might need to get one. I didn't tell
Speaker 1: you you might need to get one. No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: yeah yeah. Why'd you go on? I think because I've
Speaker 1: been on it since I was eighteen, and I've been
Speaker 1: just morning it. Uh no, literally nothing has changed. Well
Speaker 1: how long have you you been off of it? Like, go
Speaker 1: like a week? Nothing changed for me, And for like
Speaker 1: two weeks, I would say, yeah, I was to get
Speaker 1: out of your I was going to give it a
Speaker 1: couple of months. I just was like I've just there's
Speaker 1: over the years, there's been like kind of little things
Speaker 1: that have happened, like my acupuncturists. My acupuncturist basically said,
Speaker 1: and I've talked about this years ago on the podcast,
Speaker 1: that you could actually be attracted to a different type
Speaker 1: of man I off the birth control pill. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: that's weird for you because you were I was off
Speaker 1: of the pill and I met Stephen. I got on
Speaker 1: the pill, and then I went off. I was on.
Speaker 1: I've been on and off the pill. But did your
Speaker 1: attraction to him change? Rather my sex drive changed? So
Speaker 1: I guess, I guess. I guess you could chalk it
Speaker 1: up to what I was still attracting him. But I
Speaker 1: don't want to have sex. I don't have sex with anybody,
Speaker 1: and then I want to have sex with somebody else.
Speaker 1: See that's it for this. Was like she was saying,
Speaker 1: like literally the type of man, like the energy, the
Speaker 1: type of thing that person is bringing to the table.
Speaker 1: So I was just I was like, I like the
Speaker 1: smell of Stephen's skin. When I got off of birth control,
Speaker 1: I noticed that, Like I would like hug him and
Speaker 1: like his bare shoulder and I'll just breathe in his smell.
Speaker 1: And that's something that I never experienced on birth control. See,
Speaker 1: I always like the smell of people i'm dating. That's like,
Speaker 1: I'm a very like if I don't like your smell,
Speaker 1: I cannot date you. It's really important for me, Like
Speaker 1: I like, well makes sense where people's shirts when they're
Speaker 1: not they're like I'm smell like pillows and stuff. Well,
Speaker 1: as long as there's something gross on. Sometimes I put
Speaker 1: it on. His deodorant went on and he's gone for
Speaker 1: a while because I miss him and I want to
Speaker 1: smell sound like a widow. But yeah, no, I just
Speaker 1: had been thinking about going off for a really long time.
Speaker 1: But like, when you're not in a committed relationship. I
Speaker 1: don't know some people would disagree, but I think the
Speaker 1: best time to go off birth control is when you're
Speaker 1: in a relationship, not when you're gonna be like fucking
Speaker 1: accidentally get drunk and have sex with in a bar.
Speaker 1: That's a nightmare. Um. Yeah, So I just wanted to
Speaker 1: kind of see how my body reacted. Also, like I'm
Speaker 1: just like, can't lose weight for ship, like birth controls
Speaker 1: usually try. I fucking do you eat? You eat salads? Girl?
Speaker 1: I die? Exercise. I work out more than times literally
Speaker 1: any place I know, And you wake up early to
Speaker 1: exercise is weight. So I'm just a lot of things,
Speaker 1: but like mostly like just to see if like my
Speaker 1: anything is different, Like I've never felt a different energy
Speaker 1: or I've never felt like I was depressed or whatever
Speaker 1: because of it. There's not really a reason I was
Speaker 1: just it was just really just scientific experiment because I
Speaker 1: was like, well, I'm thirty two. Are you and James
Speaker 1: gonna use condoms? Yeah? We already I had. I had
Speaker 1: a convert I had an adult talk with him before
Speaker 1: I went off of it, and he was I was like,
Speaker 1: oh god, he's going to be but it's like I
Speaker 1: don't like condoms either, you know. So uh. He was
Speaker 1: actually very receptive to the conversation and totally cool with it.
Speaker 1: And because he knows I like my wuo stuff and
Speaker 1: I can't, he probably was, you know, even weird, like
Speaker 1: didn't understand that I was on birth control to begin with,
Speaker 1: because it wasn't like some tree bark that I stuffed
Speaker 1: up my pussy. I'm always giving him like home remedies
Speaker 1: for ship I gotta. I really don't take any medicine
Speaker 1: except for like etcetera and migraine because I literally can't
Speaker 1: through the day without it. If I have a migraine
Speaker 1: and then birth control. But I was just like, well,
Speaker 1: that's the only one thing that I'm left on. And
Speaker 1: it's just like there's too many things that you read
Speaker 1: about big pharma and people fucking controlling you. I'm getting
Speaker 1: real crazy in my old age or wise, and I
Speaker 1: just I'm like, well, you know what, I just want
Speaker 1: to make sure that I'm like a pent me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I would believe that. Yeah, I'll keep everyone update.
Speaker 1: It affects so many women's moods. And with the clinical
Speaker 1: trial when the men tried a form of birth control,
Speaker 1: most of them dropped out of the study because their mood.
Speaker 1: And so I mean, God, if it can affect men
Speaker 1: like that, it's the effect on women has to be
Speaker 1: like more severe. Yeah. The only thing I feel like
Speaker 1: I've been a hundred person on me since I was
Speaker 1: like four years since as long as back as I
Speaker 1: can remember, and I went out earth control when I
Speaker 1: was eighteen, and I did not experience any negative change.
Speaker 1: I'm really worried about when my period comes, if it's
Speaker 1: going to be fucking Niagara falls, because my first two
Speaker 1: were cramp city. Yeah. I I like woke up in
Speaker 1: the middle of the night and got my period and
Speaker 1: was cramping so bad I had to go in the
Speaker 1: bathtub like in the middle of the night. But that's
Speaker 1: not I have cystic ovaries, though it's not normal for anyone.
Speaker 1: Like a lot of American women experience really bad cramping
Speaker 1: during their periods and it's not and Asian women don't.
Speaker 1: I still do, even on the pill, like not so
Speaker 1: bad that I can't move, but like day one is
Speaker 1: like really like I don't. I'm very lethargic definitely, Like
Speaker 1: the day before I get my period, I really feel
Speaker 1: really bad cramping the whole day. Never get moody, which
Speaker 1: I yeah, I know if anything, Like the week before
Speaker 1: I get my period, I'm like more I'm nicer to
Speaker 1: my significant other, Like I'm more like meaty, cuddly. Yeah
Speaker 1: that's all. But like I actually like the cramps the
Speaker 1: day before because it gives me a warning because I'd
Speaker 1: rather have cramping than ruin a pair of pants. So true,
Speaker 1: that's like kind of how I go about it. But
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm kind of really curious. Uh yeah, because
Speaker 1: my acupunctures. And I had a conversation with uh my
Speaker 1: friend Walker who you know, and she like she was
Speaker 1: like I lost like ten pounds and like that probably
Speaker 1: will the weight lost thing. Pretty much everybody've ever talked to,
Speaker 1: I didn't gain any weight. And anything that anyone does
Speaker 1: that they're like, night, I lost weight on this, stops
Speaker 1: eating cheetos and nothing. Literally nothing. There's nothing only in
Speaker 1: a week that anyone's ever done that they've told me
Speaker 1: where they besides me literally in taking like a thousand
Speaker 1: calories a day that's made me lose weight. That's the
Speaker 1: only thing, and that's just really no way to lift. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's annoying. It's I mean, it's not it's more than annoying,
Speaker 1: Like it ruins my life. Wait, what ruins your life?
Speaker 1: Eating a thousand calories a day that's all you eat
Speaker 1: a day is like the minimum that you can eat
Speaker 1: a day. Okay, when you're on when you're on a
Speaker 1: diet for something, you wan get angry when you're hungry.
Speaker 1: I just I just feel, you know, more lost than anything.
Speaker 1: I don't get angry if anything. I just like my
Speaker 1: stomach makes a lot of noise and I'll just like
Speaker 1: just like slowly you'll get to hydraine and tip over. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know. My mood just there's not a lot
Speaker 1: of things that really affect it. So food, eating, food,
Speaker 1: comedy partner. Well, I never get moody. Sorry, it's okay.
Speaker 1: My friend Tracy growing up with free moody, so I
Speaker 1: really liked her. I was used to it. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: just don't know. I don't It's but it's not like
Speaker 1: I'm not feeling feelings I am. It's just like this
Speaker 1: is who I'm just not extreme feeling. That's so cool.
Speaker 1: This is just who I am. I'm kind of always
Speaker 1: like this. Yeah. Yeah, Well, I'm curious. I'm curious if
Speaker 1: it'll make do anything different too. I'm curious. I'm curious
Speaker 1: to just because I don't know. I don't trust me,
Speaker 1: I don't trust medicines. And but what if I just
Speaker 1: what if I go off and anyone who I met
Speaker 1: after age eighteen I don't like it? But what if
Speaker 1: that'll be? Like but if I don't, I don't care.
Speaker 1: I don't have time to get a new friend set.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, please tell me. If you get sick
Speaker 1: of me, you gonna be honest. If I just what
Speaker 1: if I started what if I do something weird, like
Speaker 1: if I just start braiding my hair and and be
Speaker 1: like I would. I would bring it to your tension
Speaker 1: immediately if you did anything all friends Rachel dollars all
Speaker 1: and got a perm and but spray to start identifying
Speaker 1: as a different race. Oh boy, you know what, I'd
Speaker 1: let it go on for a little bit, only because
Speaker 1: I think it's very insane. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: I get those likes, baby, gotta get those likes. Speaking
Speaker 1: of likes, oh god, we didn't get many this. Oh yes,
Speaker 1: have to take it to humbletown. Oh boy. You know
Speaker 1: when it's like one day you're selling out a theater
Speaker 1: and your parents come and they're proud of you, and
Speaker 1: they can see stand up set without wincing at the
Speaker 1: curse words you say because they're sitting amongst the packed
Speaker 1: house of eleven ounder people. And then the next day
Speaker 1: you were in the cafeteria of a college performing for
Speaker 1: ten in a room that could hold a thousand. Do
Speaker 1: you think you called that room could have hold held
Speaker 1: out if they all stood really close. Yeah, it's just
Speaker 1: it's nice to be humbled, It really is. I appreciate it,
Speaker 1: and I think it's very funny. I felt it was
Speaker 1: unnecessary to go to Canada to be humbled. Oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I could have gotten humbled here. We could easily got
Speaker 1: humbled here. Oh we did well in Jersey, right right,
Speaker 1: right right yea. But also shout out to Banana's Comedy
Speaker 1: Club because I enjoyed that play. Sales were good. Um,
Speaker 1: there was other adjustments I would have made, but you
Speaker 1: know it's it was so sweet because the person who
Speaker 1: ran the club, very one lovely, lovely person, shout out.
Speaker 1: She loved that chick, and she we have a video
Speaker 1: that plays. We have an exclusive video that plays on
Speaker 1: the top of all of our tours. So the Guys
Speaker 1: Experience had had a comedy video that played. That's only
Speaker 1: you can only see it if you go to the show.
Speaker 1: Now it's actually online, so go to our YouTube page
Speaker 1: and watch it. But it's really good. And we created
Speaker 1: a new video for the Bridge of Bishop tour that
Speaker 1: is I fucking love and uh. And then we get
Speaker 1: there and the woman was like, I couldn't you know,
Speaker 1: I couldn't. We couldn't figure out the projector like to
Speaker 1: to filter the sound through the speakers of the rooms.
Speaker 1: I was just gonna put a microphone up to the
Speaker 1: laptop and I was like, fine, you know, you just
Speaker 1: you know you get expectations set and you're like, okay,
Speaker 1: that's fine. And and then the show started and the
Speaker 1: video didn't work, and you just heard this woman go
Speaker 1: it worked last time? What the fun Like? She was
Speaker 1: so pissed at herself, and it was very funny. It
Speaker 1: was especially I felt like I was in a Christopher
Speaker 1: Guest movie because we were very tired because we just
Speaker 1: flew back from Canada after performing for a Cafeteria five. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was, you know what, it's sometimes the comedy Like
Speaker 1: I think people look at comedians. I think that we're
Speaker 1: just having fun and we're not doing a lot of work.
Speaker 1: That's very untrue. There's a lot of Oh and then
Speaker 1: we also fucking broke into Porter Airlines. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: that's my favorite story from the Canadian troopsies. Yeah, we don't.
Speaker 1: So if you're in Canada, you know Porter Airlines. Great airline. Um, however,
Speaker 1: great font. We didn't really realize that there was a
Speaker 1: communal waiting area in the airport, the Billy Bishop Airport.
Speaker 1: Shout out to Billy. Uh, Apparently there's a communal waiting area.
Speaker 1: You don't wait at the gate like you would have
Speaker 1: a airport. But us, bitch ass American girls. Well, we're
Speaker 1: trying to get ahead of his women, and we said,
Speaker 1: ain't no electronically closed door gotta hold us back. So
Speaker 1: you know when you peel open electronic door at an
Speaker 1: airport and alarm start going off and you keep walking, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what we did. Like like whatever that was, I
Speaker 1: don't know, that's probably for someone else that's here. And
Speaker 1: these doors seem really unnecessarily heavy. But the thing was,
Speaker 1: I have to give a shout out to put her
Speaker 1: airlines because number one, you could kind of tell maybe
Speaker 1: this happened before, but now we should have gotten shot.
Speaker 1: So yeah, in America, in any other country, we would
Speaker 1: have been tackled port or airlines would have been They
Speaker 1: were so nice about it, and she was like, oh no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: it's not time yet. She said, go back to the area,
Speaker 1: you guys. She like apologized to us, She chized to us,
Speaker 1: and then she sent us back to the communal area
Speaker 1: where we got freewater granola and the best damn walkers
Speaker 1: I've ever had. British ship. Yeah, goes to me, man,
Speaker 1: if this was in America, there would be poop in
Speaker 1: the granola, Like you're goddamn right, there would have been
Speaker 1: cigarette butts in the day. That's the main thing. When
Speaker 1: you go to other countries and you see that they're
Speaker 1: treating their citizens like adults, and then their citizens are
Speaker 1: acting like adults except us. So whenever we fucking go
Speaker 1: to Canada and we're in a situation where the country
Speaker 1: treats their citizens, leave they know better. We funk up.
Speaker 1: We broke into the poor airlines things, and then we
Speaker 1: were at that goddamn spa outside where we were like, wow,
Speaker 1: they just trust people that they don't know. There's not
Speaker 1: even warning signs. And then I eat it on the
Speaker 1: fucking steps on the way to the little baby sauna.
Speaker 1: Well you just felt that's not it. I mean, I know,
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm just very uh, I'm very shocked. I
Speaker 1: guess at how they don't even like in the United States.
Speaker 1: I guess because everybody's sue happy. They're like, don't trip
Speaker 1: and fall, wash your hands, don't put poop in your eye,
Speaker 1: Oh my god. And then you're like, Okay, that's a
Speaker 1: big America. If you come here, it's a big but
Speaker 1: it's just I mean, it's like, you know, like America's like,
Speaker 1: you know, Land of the Free, Home of the brave.
Speaker 1: But it's also like we're we're cake. We kind of
Speaker 1: we were treated like cage animals. But we deserve it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we really deserve it. We need to clean our acces up.
Speaker 1: We're not just so fun, do it? What do I see?
Speaker 1: Gum under seats? Just what's our problem? Come on? You
Speaker 1: know Dukie in the Canadian granola? Come on, put out
Speaker 1: a bowl granola in New York City, Dukie town population you?
Speaker 1: Oh man? All right, Well, I got a serious email
Speaker 1: I want to read. So I have an email to minds.
Speaker 1: I mean, how serious is yours? Mine's set might but
Speaker 1: mine not really that serious? Actually, but maybe the people
Speaker 1: involved in it has to do with abortion. Okay, well, actual,
Speaker 1: I read my first or your want of readers? Do
Speaker 1: we want to go sad happy or happy? Sad happy? Okay?
Speaker 1: Then you go right? Okay. So the subject is the
Speaker 1: pain of being a guy supporting women within a in
Speaker 1: with a quote conservative value High Court in Christinea. I've
Speaker 1: tried to shorten this email as much as I can,
Speaker 1: but it's still about little over a page in length. Cool.
Speaker 1: I love your show and it has been quite liberating
Speaker 1: to hear the various issues that you discuss. Most of
Speaker 1: my life, I've been ashamed of my gender because of
Speaker 1: the double standard that women face in our society. The
Speaker 1: idea that women were seeing as second class for so
Speaker 1: long made me live in fear of becoming that sort
Speaker 1: of guy. Seeing my peers used women made me wish
Speaker 1: I wasn't a guy. Your show has helped me with that.
Speaker 1: I've heard the female perspective more and heard guys that
Speaker 1: were sexually libertine but still genuinely good guys. So thank you.
Speaker 1: Why I'm writing I am Adopted. I was listening to
Speaker 1: the episode from January when you stated that you're if
Speaker 1: you're pro life, that you should be called anti choice,
Speaker 1: the most recent instance of listening to my views be
Speaker 1: marginalized on your otherwise utterly wonderful podcast. I'm not trying
Speaker 1: to change your minds on the abortion issue, but I
Speaker 1: am hoping to put a human face to the other
Speaker 1: side of the argument and demonstrate that holding a pro
Speaker 1: life view doesn't make someone sexist, ignorant, or relevant. I
Speaker 1: was the unwanted pregnancy. I very easily could have been
Speaker 1: the aborted child. I recently met my biological family and
Speaker 1: learned the circumstances of my adoption, abortion would have been
Speaker 1: a far easier choice for my biological mom to have made.
Speaker 1: She went into hiding to carry me to term. I
Speaker 1: understand that you likely don't think that I was a
Speaker 1: person uh yet during the early parts of pregnancy. But
Speaker 1: this is a debatable opinion, not an unqualified fact. We
Speaker 1: don't yet know what creates consciousness. When I hear that
Speaker 1: I'm just quote anti choice because I hate abortion, it
Speaker 1: feels like two icons of my own values are marginalizing
Speaker 1: my very life in the name of my own pro
Speaker 1: female and pro diversity values. After all, pro choice people
Speaker 1: see abortion as part of the women's empowerment movement. For
Speaker 1: logical reasons, I don't support making abortion illegal because I
Speaker 1: don't think it will decrease abortions, rather merely drive them underground,
Speaker 1: make them more dangerous, and hurt women in an already
Speaker 1: difficult circumstance. I want to end this vast majority. I
Speaker 1: want to end the vast majority of abortion by changing
Speaker 1: people's minds on this subject, not by law, but by volunteer,
Speaker 1: voluntary actions and an improved adoption system. Please consider how
Speaker 1: someone like myself must feel. I hear many women say
Speaker 1: that I don't have the right to hold an opinion
Speaker 1: because I am a guy like abortion and pregnancy doesn't
Speaker 1: affect me. But the abortion debate affected every aspect of
Speaker 1: my life because my biological mother had the debate within herself.
Speaker 1: Literally every aspect of my life is the result of
Speaker 1: her decision about abortion. Again, I'm not trying to change
Speaker 1: your opinion about abortion. I just want just to understand
Speaker 1: that holding a pro life view doesn't make someone sexist, ignorant,
Speaker 1: or relevant. From my perspective, abortion is indeed a four
Speaker 1: of murder, and yet the needs, dangers, and crisis of
Speaker 1: women seeking abortions are very real, including some of my
Speaker 1: friends and former lovers. My position is very difficult to
Speaker 1: hold with sincerity because both sides arguments. Both sides arguments
Speaker 1: tear you up inside. I do understand that unwanted pregnancy
Speaker 1: is utterly terrifying and can ruin one's life. I refuse
Speaker 1: to penetrate my girlfriend even with the condom, for fear
Speaker 1: of of condom and birth control failure. I fear pregnancy
Speaker 1: even more than she does, so even though it's a
Speaker 1: very emotional subject for me, I do understand your side
Speaker 1: of the subject. All I'm asking for is please please
Speaker 1: stopped acting like every person who's pro life is only
Speaker 1: interested in controlling the lives of women. It's not that simple,
Speaker 1: and it hurts to hear your you bad mouth those
Speaker 1: of us who disagree on this subject. We're not all misogynists.
Speaker 1: Maybe I should just grow a thicker skin, but coming
Speaker 1: from the girls of Sorry about last Night, it hurts
Speaker 1: a lot more than a random stranger, because you represent
Speaker 1: that most of my values on sex, women and diversity,
Speaker 1: and I respect you both. Thank you for reading my email.
Speaker 1: I will continue to be a fan, and when I
Speaker 1: mless broke, I intend to buy your book. Fucks respectfully
Speaker 1: and with love, Edward. Um. I wanted to read this
Speaker 1: email because, UM, when I've talked about abortion in the past,
Speaker 1: I know I get very heated, and I am not.
Speaker 1: I'm still trying to figure out how to articulate my
Speaker 1: viewpoints gracefully and and with just gracefully about about this.
Speaker 1: I do still think that pro life equals anti choice. However,
Speaker 1: it's interesting because this guy who wrote us this for
Speaker 1: him and I agree on a lot of the same things.
Speaker 1: He doesn't want abortion to be illegal. I don't want
Speaker 1: it to be either. Obviously, I do wish there were
Speaker 1: less abortions in the world, but that's because I wish
Speaker 1: that people were educated more. And um, this was an
Speaker 1: example of of writing us on a on a very
Speaker 1: divisive topic in a way that I'm like, Okay, I
Speaker 1: hear you. I understand what you're saying, and I really
Speaker 1: appreciate you talking to me about this and sharing your
Speaker 1: point of view. And uh, you know, I I will
Speaker 1: say to my mother's biological mom, had she had the
Speaker 1: option to have a safe and legal abortion, she probably
Speaker 1: would have because she had kids. She killed herself because
Speaker 1: her children got taken away from her because she couldn't
Speaker 1: care for them. She was mentally ill, she was broke.
Speaker 1: There was in the adoption papers that my mom dug up,
Speaker 1: there was stories about them eating muskrats. Uh that they
Speaker 1: that the mom would catch and feed them and then
Speaker 1: make soup out of it. So obviously it would have
Speaker 1: been made her life easier if she just not had children,
Speaker 1: in which case I wouldn't have been here. And I
Speaker 1: totally understand that. Um, I'm still for educating women and men.
Speaker 1: And the fact that I will say, the fact that
Speaker 1: you it said here that the person who wrote this
Speaker 1: email could not penetrate his girlfriend that I would say
Speaker 1: I would talk to a therapists about that, only because
Speaker 1: if she's on birth control and were in a condom,
Speaker 1: that's you know, well, it makes me think that like
Speaker 1: the decision, like he wouldn't be able to support the
Speaker 1: decision for her to have an abortion and then be
Speaker 1: an issue. I mean, this is a super constructive email,
Speaker 1: happy to accept any different thoughts on the matter, and
Speaker 1: I definitely don't think like you know, I I also
Speaker 1: don't think that more so than the anti choice being
Speaker 1: an anti choice, I just kind of think it's really
Speaker 1: like just a women's issue, and I know people get
Speaker 1: really angry about that, but I'm really not going to
Speaker 1: move on that totally. But for this, I mean, I
Speaker 1: think this is interesting, just like everything, like there's a
Speaker 1: real bias because of his situation here. Totally, if I
Speaker 1: don't understandn't exists because because of something like I would
Speaker 1: understand it, but like that also doesn't. But that's that's
Speaker 1: creating a dilem in your head that never exist, Like
Speaker 1: that doesn't exist because you do exist, you didn't exist.
Speaker 1: You wouldn't know, you wouldn't know you didn't didn't exist,
Speaker 1: exactly and I like, never, No, I don't think anyone
Speaker 1: who is pro choice is ever saying like there's not
Speaker 1: gonna be a lot of wonderful people in the world
Speaker 1: if we don't abort anyone, Like I'm just sure, I'm
Speaker 1: sure we're killing off like a lot of people who
Speaker 1: would be amazing, just the same as if you know,
Speaker 1: with immigration policies, we're not letting a lot of wonderful,
Speaker 1: hard working people. No one's saying any of that these
Speaker 1: people aren't great people, because it always comes from like
Speaker 1: a feeling thing like, oh, we have to all these
Speaker 1: people are wonderful people, Like, well, no one's saying that
Speaker 1: they're not. That's not really the issue. Um, And and
Speaker 1: it's kind of kind of goes back to just like, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, if if you don't want there to be abortions,
Speaker 1: we need to number one edgec key people like you said,
Speaker 1: we need education is definitely the key, and not making
Speaker 1: abortion illegal because as this guy said in his email,
Speaker 1: if you make it illegal, women will figure it out
Speaker 1: or they will make an attempt and it will probably
Speaker 1: take their own life. Right and then and then also
Speaker 1: when we talked about a couple episodes ago, and this
Speaker 1: is not something that's commonly talked about, especially in America,
Speaker 1: but women are still dying in large numbers during childbirth.
Speaker 1: And so then it goes back to the conversation of
Speaker 1: what life is more important, a life that doesn't truly
Speaker 1: exist yet or a life that is already in the
Speaker 1: process of being lived. And I'm always going to go
Speaker 1: with the life that's in the process of being lived
Speaker 1: for only we should not have to pick. But you know,
Speaker 1: no one's getting much helpier. Um. Yeah, And it's just
Speaker 1: you want to feel like you have control, and you know,
Speaker 1: it's just like and and and and putting a child
Speaker 1: up for adoption. Holy sh it. I mean abortion ary painful.
Speaker 1: And also having an abortion is an emotional emotionally, I mean,
Speaker 1: some people are not affected by it a lot. Everybody
Speaker 1: I know that's ever had one that is a fucking
Speaker 1: rough day, that's one of the worst days ever for them. Well,
Speaker 1: and that was a decision station that I had with
Speaker 1: James before I went off the birth control pill, because
Speaker 1: obviously he knows I'm pro choice and that if I
Speaker 1: got pregnant, would you know, get an abortion. But I
Speaker 1: think he was surprised by me saying like that. Wouldn't
Speaker 1: be an easy decision for me. Surprised by that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't just be like, let's get an abortion like
Speaker 1: times ago. I wouldn't think it funny or I wouldn't
Speaker 1: like that so upset. It's not my feelings on it
Speaker 1: at all. But also I know that Number One, I
Speaker 1: wouldn't I can't put a child up for adoption. I
Speaker 1: wouldn't be able to. That would put that would bring
Speaker 1: more pain into my life than it would ease my
Speaker 1: pain by letting go of a child just for me
Speaker 1: right now, especially because I can financially, I could afford it,
Speaker 1: and it would just be me being selfish in my
Speaker 1: life if I didn't want to. And also to as
Speaker 1: someone whose mom was put through the adoption system and
Speaker 1: it worked out great for her, you're I respect your decision,
Speaker 1: like that's the other It's like, it's that's what that's
Speaker 1: that's what really gets me with that. If I lived
Speaker 1: in a world where my government was preventing me, which
Speaker 1: they already really are. Like if you live in Texas,
Speaker 1: the government is doing the local government is doing everything
Speaker 1: that possibly can to prevent you from having the option
Speaker 1: of getting a safe and legal abortion and that is
Speaker 1: what angers me and lights every cell on my body
Speaker 1: on fire, because every woman should have that option. But
Speaker 1: I agree with the person who wrote this email. I
Speaker 1: wish and I said this in the book when I
Speaker 1: wrote the chapter about abortions, because I felt very passionately
Speaker 1: about this. But I don't want to come off as
Speaker 1: to extreme. But you know I I want there to
Speaker 1: be less abortions too. I'm right there with you with that.
Speaker 1: I think there should be the way to do that, interception.
Speaker 1: The way to do that is to arm people with
Speaker 1: the power of knowledge and educating them of to make
Speaker 1: informed decisions. Even still, you will have unexpected pregnancies, but
Speaker 1: that will that will you know, they're when a planned
Speaker 1: parenthood goes up in a neighborhood, the number of abortion
Speaker 1: procedures goes down because they're they're educating people, and they're
Speaker 1: giving them condoms and birth control and and I U
Speaker 1: d s. And so there's a way to do this
Speaker 1: without stifling a woman's right to choose right. And then
Speaker 1: also another thing that I thought of when reading this email,
Speaker 1: when you were reading this email, is like adoption. I mean,
Speaker 1: it does work out, Like my first boyfriend was adopted. Uh,
Speaker 1: your mom's adopted. The similarity between those people is that
Speaker 1: they're white, and I don't think that just putting a
Speaker 1: child up for adoption, like like white babies are just
Speaker 1: get adopted first, and that's not that's not cool, that's
Speaker 1: not great. Uh. So it's like it's I don't know
Speaker 1: what the ethnity this person is who wrote this email,
Speaker 1: but again it's like it really if he is white,
Speaker 1: that's a much easier thing to say than if you're
Speaker 1: a person of color. Uh, you know, kind of going
Speaker 1: back to the Chanela on the episode, that's different. She
Speaker 1: was not put up for adoption as a as a
Speaker 1: as a baby, so it's different. But it's just like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: but put up put up for adoption of white baby,
Speaker 1: they'll get you know, scooped right up. But that's not
Speaker 1: that's not the same for everybody. Unfortunately, even when through
Speaker 1: the adoption process, it is kind of like there is
Speaker 1: still this like cast system almost of of of children
Speaker 1: who are going to get adopted first. Uh. And not
Speaker 1: to mention children with disabilities or my physical or learning
Speaker 1: disabilities anything like that. So there's just a lot of
Speaker 1: things to that go into it. So it's yeah, it's
Speaker 1: you know it's it's it's not it's just not my
Speaker 1: anger comes and white. My my anger stems from uh
Speaker 1: taking the choice out of it. That's what it is.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's really what it is. So but I'm
Speaker 1: glad this person wrote us and I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1: And um, and I'm gonna read in one more email alright,
Speaker 1: this one. Of course I read this immediately. It sauld
Speaker 1: help my fiance as a cross dress or not cross
Speaker 1: stressed or this is for me. Hey, ladies, thank you
Speaker 1: for taking the time to read this email. And I
Speaker 1: would obviously love if it meeted onto a podcast. So
Speaker 1: if someone else is going through the same thing, they
Speaker 1: would be so honored to get your input to Please
Speaker 1: do not use my name. So I am thirty years old,
Speaker 1: engaged to the love of my life and getting married
Speaker 1: in October. My fiance and I have been clean and
Speaker 1: sober for close to eight years combined me a little
Speaker 1: over three. Needless to say, we both had some struggles
Speaker 1: with addiction prior to meeting one another, something I am
Speaker 1: forever grateful for. As a result of our commitment to
Speaker 1: new lives, we have a relationship unlike any other I
Speaker 1: have been in before. We are clear minded, communicative, honest,
Speaker 1: and completely vulnerable with each other on basically a daily basis.
Speaker 1: I have never been so open with someone. I always
Speaker 1: felt that relationships came with secrets because of some shitty
Speaker 1: habits I learned from my mom and dad's failed marriage,
Speaker 1: and I couldn't be happier for the opportunity to have
Speaker 1: somebody to go through the roller coaster of recovery one
Speaker 1: day at a time with About a year ago, we
Speaker 1: had a heart to heart conversation about some personal issues
Speaker 1: each of us struggle with. Over coffee, He shared, with
Speaker 1: tears in his eyes, that he has a very frequent
Speaker 1: thoughts of cross dressing. I was a little bit shocked.
Speaker 1: I had known that this behavior was something he took
Speaker 1: part in while using drugs, exchanging photos of himself in
Speaker 1: lingerie for a never ending supply of his poison. I
Speaker 1: didn't really flinch at this, as I unfortunately have put
Speaker 1: myself in similar situations. Yes, many of us reached new
Speaker 1: lows when we were in the midst of addiction. He
Speaker 1: continues to tell me that this has been going on
Speaker 1: for a while. He couldn't hide it anymore, and he
Speaker 1: had purchased a ton of clothes from goodwill that we're
Speaker 1: being stashed in our second bedroom. I had no idea.
Speaker 1: Later that evening, he proposed out of nowhere. He thought
Speaker 1: that there couldn't be a better time to ask, after
Speaker 1: seeing that we both accept each other as we are.
Speaker 1: What a fucking day, dude. I was overwhelmed and honored.
Speaker 1: He felt he could trust me with this, but seeing
Speaker 1: the shame and guilt in his eyes just broke me. Naturally.
Speaker 1: I had some standard ignorant questions for him. Was he gay?
Speaker 1: Did he want to become a woman? What did he
Speaker 1: do while he was dressed up? Did he like wigs?
Speaker 1: Hair makeup too? Had he ever exchanged sex for drugs?
Speaker 1: I mean, my mind is going a million directions. He
Speaker 1: assured me that he is heterosexual and has no desire
Speaker 1: to ever become a woman. I believed him wholeheartedly on
Speaker 1: both of these. As we discussed how during the first
Speaker 1: few months of our sobriety we were given chances to
Speaker 1: really dive into learning about our sexual orientation. Turns out
Speaker 1: we're both straight. More is revealed, and I find out
Speaker 1: that the type of clothing he likes to dress in
Speaker 1: are just skanky, anything that you can imagine for exotic
Speaker 1: dancers in the clearing. I guess this is clearance rejectile
Speaker 1: at Priscilla McCalls. Is this British or in general the
Speaker 1: trashiest shortest skirts uh and tight tank tops you can
Speaker 1: think of. That's what he likes to put on. In addition,
Speaker 1: he loves high heels. Who doesn't. He wears a size
Speaker 1: eleven and has managed to find four or five pairs
Speaker 1: of women's five inch heels to fit his monster foot.
Speaker 1: And these are some of the scariest looking things I
Speaker 1: have ever seen in my life. He's covered with hair,
Speaker 1: very handsome even as a woman six ft six with
Speaker 1: these dance shoes on. I know, I'm very into it.
Speaker 1: Like sounds like a babe and struts around our house
Speaker 1: just confident as can be. Don't know it gets worse. Um.
Speaker 1: At first, I was trying to play it cool and
Speaker 1: told myself it was cool with all of this whatever.
Speaker 1: We even played dress up together. One time I did
Speaker 1: his makeup and we ended up having really awesome sex
Speaker 1: later that night. It was kind of hot pulling on
Speaker 1: the fabric of his underwear. I hadn't experienced that before. Unfortunately,
Speaker 1: the next time he got done up in a bra, panties,
Speaker 1: garter belt, corset and heels. I got freaked out and
Speaker 1: shut that shipped down. I felt bad for reacting this way,
Speaker 1: but it was my true, honest and it needed to
Speaker 1: come out. He apologized and felt like shit about this.
Speaker 1: He could tell I was scared, scared of what I
Speaker 1: don't understand. My fiancee suffers from bipolar disorder, more on
Speaker 1: the manic side of things, and when he has the
Speaker 1: urge to dress, he is in a state of heightened
Speaker 1: adrenaline and there's nothing that anyone else can do or
Speaker 1: that matters in the moment. He can waste two to
Speaker 1: three hours without even realizing where the time went. Welcome
Speaker 1: to a woman constantly trying on new combinations of outfits
Speaker 1: and shoes, just looking at himself in the mirror. I
Speaker 1: have tried to be as cool with this as possible.
Speaker 1: He will go from Mr Man cutting and cleaning fresh
Speaker 1: fish to chopping firewood for an hour, into the house
Speaker 1: to shower and get his first of probably three pairs
Speaker 1: of women's underwear he'll wear for the evening, put on
Speaker 1: his heels, and ask what he can do to help
Speaker 1: with dinner. He has just started seeing a therapist who
Speaker 1: specializes in the LGBTQ community. Here a suggestion my therapist
Speaker 1: gave to me that he actually said, okay too. I
Speaker 1: think he is getting a lot out of working with her,
Speaker 1: and I know that these things can take time, but
Speaker 1: at this point I am so annoyed and frustrated with
Speaker 1: everything being about this. He is obsessed. It's him right now,
Speaker 1: and this needs to be a fifty fifty relationship. What
Speaker 1: I have said to him is basically along the lines
Speaker 1: of shit or get off the pot. What are you
Speaker 1: doing this for? Where is the authenticity in it? Is
Speaker 1: it because it's taboo? Or is it the rush you get?
Speaker 1: Is that the possibility of being caught that drives you wild?
Speaker 1: So it's similar to chasing a high. Are you expressing
Speaker 1: your sensitive feminine side or are you simply attention seeking
Speaker 1: and letting narcissism get the best of you. Last night
Speaker 1: he said his new plan was to only wear these
Speaker 1: shoes inside and keep the blinds closed while he's dressed.
Speaker 1: They have been opened the last few weeks, and he
Speaker 1: has been doing yard work in front with his heels on,
Speaker 1: bending down to pull weeds with his whale tail hanging
Speaker 1: out in fear slash excitement of being seen or caught.
Speaker 1: I forgot my smoothie at home on my way to
Speaker 1: work this morning, and when I came back to get it,
Speaker 1: there he is standing seven feet tall with all the
Speaker 1: blinds on the front door open. I don't really give
Speaker 1: a ship if he's seen. But what do I do
Speaker 1: with this? Is this attention seeking behavior and if so,
Speaker 1: is it a red flag to the potential outcome of
Speaker 1: this relationship? Clock sicken and we need to get in
Speaker 1: with a marriage counselor a s a P. We need
Speaker 1: someone non biased and not already acquainted with us to
Speaker 1: ask the questions neither of us know are important to ask.
Speaker 1: We need someone knowledgeable regarding addiction and bipolar disorder. That's
Speaker 1: for sure. We are working on that, But in the meantime,
Speaker 1: I can't deny the fact that I am completely over
Speaker 1: this crock of ship. And to be honest, I'm annoyed
Speaker 1: that he is into underwear and women's shoes more than
Speaker 1: I am. I am not willing or able to be
Speaker 1: the one who holds him up if he continues to
Speaker 1: push the envelope further and gets hurt by his own actions.
Speaker 1: I am also not too fond of the idea of
Speaker 1: get of him getting burned as we get burned simultaneously. Yep.
Speaker 1: I have been able to tell one of my coworkers
Speaker 1: about it, and that's all I have other than my therapist.
Speaker 1: Is this something you too have experienced, heard of being experienced,
Speaker 1: or is more maybe more common New York? That was
Speaker 1: my favorite was my favorite sentence. I love it was
Speaker 1: a fucking weirdo New York out of New York. Think
Speaker 1: is happening in New York? Honestly, it's not that we're
Speaker 1: going to Trader Joe's. It's not that crazy, I can
Speaker 1: imagine it is. I should have mentioned right off the
Speaker 1: top that we live in the Carolinas. Okay, it's a
Speaker 1: little different vibe down here on Jo just completely double standard.
Speaker 1: As you know, women can make a men's flannel stylish,
Speaker 1: while if a man is wearing a woman's boot, they
Speaker 1: must be queer. In a nutshell, the lines are drawn
Speaker 1: in permanent marker for the time being. I'm just so
Speaker 1: tired of all this. I'm rambling like Pelle and I
Speaker 1: just had to get this off my chest. Blah blah blahkeback. Okay,
Speaker 1: I love this email number one because it was different
Speaker 1: and number two because I love cross dressing. Um, uh,
Speaker 1: you know it's this is I love. I love one
Speaker 1: man's cross dress. I have since I was a little kid.
Speaker 1: Tim Curry as Frankenfooter in Rock Pictures. So show Eddie Izzard,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, still want to them so hard. If
Speaker 1: you're listening, please let um send me an email. UM,
Speaker 1: but this is really interesting because there's so much going
Speaker 1: on in this email. You're both dealing with addiction. You've covering, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you've been well. Somebody explains to you that addiction is
Speaker 1: like always something. It's kind of like you always have addiction, really,
Speaker 1: but you're just I think Rose But explained that to me,
Speaker 1: like like you're always so like it's like you're always
Speaker 1: an alcoholic or you're always a drug addict. You're just
Speaker 1: not currently using, but you're you always are good for
Speaker 1: your morale or bad. I feel like that would make
Speaker 1: me feel terrible and it would not inspire me to quit.
Speaker 1: But I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I don't,
Speaker 1: I don't, I don't. It's just like that's just who
Speaker 1: I am. Like it's like it's like if you're just
Speaker 1: an addictive person. I think it's good to know and
Speaker 1: not to think, like not to have the mindset that
Speaker 1: just because you stopped using means you're in the clear.
Speaker 1: So maybe that's where maybe it's like a thought process
Speaker 1: for oneself, so that you never kind of like every day,
Speaker 1: I think, because I think every day as an attic,
Speaker 1: you probably have to do maintenance. Like I certainly have
Speaker 1: an addictive personality, not addicted to things that are necessarily
Speaker 1: like life threatening right off the bat, but you know,
Speaker 1: an addictive personality, like an obsessing um. So you've you've
Speaker 1: been you know, clean and sober eight years combined. We've
Speaker 1: been together for a long time. I mean, you knew
Speaker 1: this person was by point it kind of went from
Speaker 1: like zero to m mowing the lawn in my heels. Well,
Speaker 1: because he felt comfortable, and it's probably something that was
Speaker 1: pent up, pent up for such a long time, and
Speaker 1: he felt free in the fact that like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I could do this in front of my partner. I
Speaker 1: never or even imagined a world in which that would
Speaker 1: ever take place, right, And I love that story and
Speaker 1: I love that he proposed that day because it reminded
Speaker 1: me of something on one of the first dates and
Speaker 1: James went on where he told me the story that
Speaker 1: I'll let him tell for himself if he ever wants to.
Speaker 1: But uh, and it was something that Number one. I
Speaker 1: was just I was so flattered that someone would tell
Speaker 1: me a story that I think most people would be like,
Speaker 1: what the fuck. It didn't make him look like a
Speaker 1: bad person, just made him look like not the type
Speaker 1: of person who I think you would think he is
Speaker 1: um from the way he presents himself and dresses and
Speaker 1: everything like that. So it's very interesting. Um and uh,
Speaker 1: but I think a lot of this behavior is coming
Speaker 1: from the bipolar disorder, which seems like it's not completely
Speaker 1: in check. Like I don't know if he's on medicines
Speaker 1: or what kind of upkeep he's doing for the bipolar disorder,
Speaker 1: but the mad behavior seems to be more attached to that.
Speaker 1: And whether it's you know, dressing in women's clothes or
Speaker 1: cleaning the house compulsively or collecting something hoarding, you know,
Speaker 1: any of these things. Yeah, it just seems like something
Speaker 1: that he needs to kind of get bipolar and check.
Speaker 1: But like if if dressing like people as a comedian,
Speaker 1: I don't know, having an obsession and having something you
Speaker 1: spend so much time on that seems unimportant to your partner.
Speaker 1: Just hits really close to home, and do you do that,
Speaker 1: do you have something you do something that's unimportant to
Speaker 1: your partner. But that's I only date comedians and that's
Speaker 1: a big part of the reason because I don't want
Speaker 1: to have to do anything other than comedy unless I
Speaker 1: want to do something other than comedy, And most times
Speaker 1: I really want to spend most of my time and
Speaker 1: I don't want to have to explain someone like comedy.
Speaker 1: I don't want to have to explain to someone else
Speaker 1: like comedy is important to me, or why it's the
Speaker 1: reason I get up in the morning, or to have
Speaker 1: to cut my time between comedy. Like it's just like,
Speaker 1: so if I'm dating someone in comedy, everything can be
Speaker 1: about comedy and we both appreciate it without any explanation. Um,
Speaker 1: and so I can totally understand wanting to cross dress.
Speaker 1: It's it's to me, this guy seems maybe like maybe
Speaker 1: he should get into drag honestly and having a real
Speaker 1: outlet for it that he can exactly. It's a planned outlet,
Speaker 1: looks like a treat kind of thing. It's like it's
Speaker 1: like Okay, I can channel my energy. But when you're bipolar, though,
Speaker 1: you cannot predict your highs and lows. But but if
Speaker 1: you have something to look forward to that sounds awesome
Speaker 1: and you're the center of attention. Your lip syncing a song,
Speaker 1: anybody could do that, so you can whatever song you want.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of creative choices that go into it
Speaker 1: that are I would think, what could be really exciting
Speaker 1: because you can make your act whatever the funk you
Speaker 1: want to make it. That could be a really good
Speaker 1: outlet because the express yourself as important. Yes, but I
Speaker 1: understand why she would be like over it. Sure. Sometimes
Speaker 1: I in a relationship it is going to be about
Speaker 1: the other person for a while and and and as
Speaker 1: someone who has been that before, it's it's not fun
Speaker 1: being I gotta say it feels bad, you know, it
Speaker 1: still feels like, oh I am exhausting this person with
Speaker 1: my needs. But at the same time, you know what
Speaker 1: for this, for this chunk of time, it's ebbs and flows.
Speaker 1: We need to focus on me and then and then
Speaker 1: what what happens with that is for my relationship personally.
Speaker 1: But I get tired of being in and now I
Speaker 1: want to be in, so let's focus on Stephen, Like,
Speaker 1: what what do you want, what do you want to
Speaker 1: work on, what do you want to talk about? What
Speaker 1: do you want? You want to get back into yoga? Okay,
Speaker 1: I'll I'll help hold you accountable for that, Like, I
Speaker 1: don't want the focus to be on me because it's exhausting.
Speaker 1: So so maybe it'll eb and flow. I'm not sure
Speaker 1: how long it's been this, but if it's only been
Speaker 1: a couple of months, I would say it's gonna ebb
Speaker 1: and flow yea um. But if not, if that lasts forever,
Speaker 1: I completely understand your desire to not want that all
Speaker 1: the time. And also says like when your data comedian,
Speaker 1: they're always on. When we that sounds horrible to me,
Speaker 1: but but when we say a comedian is always on,
Speaker 1: it means even in your private life, when you're watching
Speaker 1: television with your boyfriend, you're always just joke joke, joke,
Speaker 1: joke jokes. Be a person. Because when that woman was saying,
Speaker 1: where's the genuineness? Where, where's the where's the realness in this?
Speaker 1: Where's it coming from? Like, but a lot of people
Speaker 1: have that problem with like even actors and stuff. They're like,
Speaker 1: where where is the authenticity. But that's that's just because
Speaker 1: they just don't understand the want because they don't have
Speaker 1: that desire, so it doesn't resonate with them at all. True,
Speaker 1: And also I think they need to. She needs to
Speaker 1: take it into account that this is new. So anytime
Speaker 1: especially I would imagine if you're a bipolar you get
Speaker 1: into something new, it's like, you know, even if I
Speaker 1: get into a new like snack food or a new
Speaker 1: TV show in Practical Jokers, I'm obsessed with it. It's
Speaker 1: all I think about. It's all I can do. That
Speaker 1: lasted for a couple of months, like now I can
Speaker 1: take or leave it. You know, it doesn't I still
Speaker 1: enjoy it, but it's not like I have to. But
Speaker 1: for like several months, I had to come home and
Speaker 1: watch that show and you looked hotel cable package and
Speaker 1: if it didn't have Yeah. So I think to me,
Speaker 1: this woman and it's interesting because she's obviously you're she's
Speaker 1: an addict, so she should understand kind of the addictive personality,
Speaker 1: but perhaps just doesn't understand it with something that she
Speaker 1: doesn't have interest in. Also, too, I will say, I
Speaker 1: will say for a guy, whenever guys are a desire
Speaker 1: to cross dress. There is something about wearing um women's
Speaker 1: clothes that are type itting, Like it does make you
Speaker 1: feel sexy in a way that I always thought to myself. Man,
Speaker 1: then never really get to feel sexy in the way
Speaker 1: women do, and they don't really get to express themselves
Speaker 1: with clothing in the same way that we do. Ran
Speaker 1: it could also be a blessing. It occurs, but a
Speaker 1: lot of times it's fucking fun and it is a way.
Speaker 1: It is a form of showing who you are on
Speaker 1: the inside on the outside, and it's really fun. And
Speaker 1: to have wear tight jeans and to wear a tight
Speaker 1: shirt when I wear tight shirts is just never but
Speaker 1: when I do, it kind of makes me a little
Speaker 1: horny and I carry to myself differently because I feel
Speaker 1: the fabric against my skin very snug in an area
Speaker 1: where it's usually not snug, and that that's exciting and
Speaker 1: it makes me feel different and it makes me feel alive.
Speaker 1: So I do get it right, Yeah, I think, like
Speaker 1: normally I'm always my advice to everything as always get
Speaker 1: the relationship. But in this case I'm gonna say no,
Speaker 1: just because of the circumstances. What you guys have been
Speaker 1: to together, you're working through sobriety together. You obviously knew
Speaker 1: he was by polar going into this, so that's something
Speaker 1: you kind of already accepted into, you know, loving someone,
Speaker 1: um and don't want to say dealing with it, but
Speaker 1: like helping them through this. And I'm sure you have
Speaker 1: your ship that you're going through. So I think the
Speaker 1: key is just to take that there. You know, right now,
Speaker 1: he's really excited about it. But there doesn't need to
Speaker 1: be a designated like time when this is okay. It
Speaker 1: can't be every day because that's you guys are an
Speaker 1: engaged and you didn't get engaged to a cross shusters.
Speaker 1: That's also not fair to you. You did, but you
Speaker 1: didn't know it actually, So it's like there has to
Speaker 1: be some kind of a compromise here and maybe a
Speaker 1: time when you go out with your girlfriends and he
Speaker 1: stays home and he fucking mose lawn and heels and
Speaker 1: it's and it's really cool of you that you you
Speaker 1: don't even care that much of other people says, because
Speaker 1: I think that to me would be the biggest hurdle
Speaker 1: for most people. Um. But yeah, thanks for writing. It's
Speaker 1: a really interesting email. Please update us on what's happening
Speaker 1: and if anybody has a similar situation, Sorry about last
Speaker 1: night show at gmail dock. Yeah. Additionally, you can follow
Speaker 1: us on social media. It's sorry about last night on Instagram,
Speaker 1: s r y about last n y t on Twitter.
Speaker 1: I'm philanthropy gal on all social media, and Christina perfect.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, um, so that's our guests. Yes, that's all
Speaker 1: we had to do. Perfect our guests. I'm so excited.
Speaker 1: You might have seen her featured on my I might
Speaker 1: be able to Lesbian Tuesday on Instagram. I don't. I
Speaker 1: follow a lot of random people on Instagram, but I
Speaker 1: don't really feel like I like any of them as
Speaker 1: a like. Not that I don't like them, but I
Speaker 1: just don't don't get to know them do get to
Speaker 1: know them a lot as a person. I'm just like
Speaker 1: looking at hot babes like I'm a little PERV who
Speaker 1: doesn't like look at babes and um, this woman she's
Speaker 1: a hobby, but she's so much more. I feel like
Speaker 1: she truly understands feminism. She's an entrepreneur um and she
Speaker 1: has created a brand for herself. Her story is so
Speaker 1: interesting and unlike anyone we've had on the podcast before
Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Shane Alexander the Son Know
Speaker 1: What to Made You Love? Put my phone out and
Speaker 1: then I put it back. It's what's said about the
Speaker 1: first card to the deepest of my lost loves. And
Speaker 1: I can't move on. No, I can't move on, Cush.
Speaker 1: Every day I think cut things, I wanna tell you later,
Speaker 1: but then I remember this on you in this a later.
Speaker 1: And every day I think cut things, I wanna tell
Speaker 1: you later, but then I even but you're not here.
Speaker 1: In Miss Changes, I saw you back home. I didn't
Speaker 1: say hi. It'send like we never planned our home life.
Speaker 1: Even though I play Apple could costibly ben there is
Speaker 1: no version the reverses. And I died to forget, died
Speaker 1: to forget you. Every day I think cut things, I
Speaker 1: wanna tell you later, but then I remember this you
Speaker 1: and this lad good things, And here in medi Changes
Speaker 1: we are here with Alexander. Hello. Hello, I'm excited. I
Speaker 1: this is I. I am like, yes, this is my
Speaker 1: favorite Instagram or is here? But I know you don't
Speaker 1: like social media, so I don't either. I feel really
Speaker 1: honored actually, and my people love you, guys, so that's great.
Speaker 1: That makes me very happy, because it's nice when you
Speaker 1: like someone who's cool and has Like I think what
Speaker 1: drew me to you was that I feel like you're
Speaker 1: like take hop picks of yourself. You're into fitness, but
Speaker 1: you also have a true understanding of feminism, which I
Speaker 1: feel like is lacking from so many people on Instagram.
Speaker 1: I guess they're putting more hate and more you know,
Speaker 1: body comparison and like just like a lot of negativity
Speaker 1: out in the world, and like I love negativity, but
Speaker 1: not times, I know, and it's kind of way you
Speaker 1: joke about it, right, Yeah. Well, and I think also
Speaker 1: I started out on Instagram in wellness and fitness and
Speaker 1: now I'm more of lifestyle. I talked about everything, just
Speaker 1: talk about life. But in that world specifically, it gets
Speaker 1: so gnarly with the type of content. I mean, it's
Speaker 1: just like people are so worried about themselves and it's
Speaker 1: just becomes this like selfish like whole and so I
Speaker 1: was like, wow, okay, yeah, and I have to get
Speaker 1: out of this, and I need to start talking about
Speaker 1: not just avoiding those topics of you know, kind of
Speaker 1: like comparing yourself, about actually attacking them. Um, and you
Speaker 1: have to do some offense on social media of like,
Speaker 1: let's not just like people shy away from talking about
Speaker 1: politics or feminism even because feminism is a dirty word
Speaker 1: and some parts of the contract in the world. And
Speaker 1: I think for me and it's been about like let's
Speaker 1: not not talk about it, Let's talk about it a smart,
Speaker 1: realistic way, and also like let's talk about this as friends,
Speaker 1: you know, that can kind of develop a bigger understanding
Speaker 1: of this kind of subject matter. So that combative. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's why I get nervous to post anything that's going
Speaker 1: to incite a comment ryot only because I'm like, someone's
Speaker 1: gonna say something that's gonna piss me off because it's
Speaker 1: gonna be so ignorant and I'm gonna want to respond
Speaker 1: and it's not going to go well. But I like hearing.
Speaker 1: I like hearing all the opinions though, because that's the
Speaker 1: one good thing for me actually about comments, Like because
Speaker 1: I feel like it's like you need to I don't
Speaker 1: want to say keep your enemies close, but you need
Speaker 1: to feel like you don't understand how everyone is thinking,
Speaker 1: so that I think you can get a better solution
Speaker 1: to it rather than the approach of just like I
Speaker 1: don't just I don't agree with you. I'm not going
Speaker 1: to listen to what you said. You're not welcome here.
Speaker 1: And you know, it's been really a fascinating thing. And
Speaker 1: not many people that do social media experience this, but
Speaker 1: I've had about in my two and a half years
Speaker 1: doing social media stuff online, I've had probably ten negative comments.
Speaker 1: Really yeah, I just don't really have those people that
Speaker 1: I don't know whether they're just not attracted to me
Speaker 1: or yeah, I'm like, I'm not for the drawl. Like
Speaker 1: I think I just got a complex. You've attracted a
Speaker 1: following that uh doesn't feel the need to bring it in.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think with us too, we definitely the
Speaker 1: negative comments are rare, rare. But I think when you
Speaker 1: attract like a more kind of like liberal and like
Speaker 1: socially conscious following, you know, the things that you're saying
Speaker 1: aren't so controversial. You know, like like when I talk
Speaker 1: about like, uh kind of want to make sure we're
Speaker 1: standing up for immigrants, like no one's like fuck immigrants,
Speaker 1: you know, like they're all on the same page. So
Speaker 1: um yeah, but even like kind of like body positivity
Speaker 1: to talk a lot about, and like there are parts
Speaker 1: of that where I show my body on Instagram, not
Speaker 1: in a provocative way, but just in a this is
Speaker 1: what being in a swimsuit or underwear kind of way occasionally.
Speaker 1: It's definitely not like a butt Instagram or anything not that.
Speaker 1: But instagrams are bad because if I had a better
Speaker 1: but I would totally put my butt on Instagram. It's
Speaker 1: just it's um. I think that when we are positive
Speaker 1: about our bodies, which is even a sucky thing to
Speaker 1: have to even like that sucks that we have to
Speaker 1: have a word or two words to describe feeling okay
Speaker 1: about the shell in which we live that provides us life.
Speaker 1: That sucks, but we we had to do that. But yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I mean, I just I'm all about like, instead of
Speaker 1: kind of always trying to change the things we hate
Speaker 1: about ourselves, Like I think if we start increasing the
Speaker 1: things that were really positive about and like really like,
Speaker 1: what the funk do we like about ourselves? First of
Speaker 1: all internally because that ship is what matters, And then like,
Speaker 1: if you want to change it externally, go for it, like,
Speaker 1: but do it out of a place of kind of
Speaker 1: love and appreciation for self rather than hating. So when
Speaker 1: I say don't put my butt on Instagram. It is
Speaker 1: not the best thing. Well, I'm I'm putting a lot
Speaker 1: of other things on Instagram, but also better. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: that's true. Yeah, I feel like if people would concentrate
Speaker 1: more on what they like about their own bodies or
Speaker 1: minds or life. So so people have the hardest time
Speaker 1: talking about what they like about themselves. It's so weird
Speaker 1: because it's like, well, it's a choice. I mean, you
Speaker 1: know what, why if you if you can develop a
Speaker 1: negative image of yourself, you can just as easily develop
Speaker 1: a positive. We just choose. Like I remember when I
Speaker 1: was younger, I was and I would notice that I'm
Speaker 1: I was really self. The voice in my head was
Speaker 1: self deprecating. I'm like, well, I can also choose to
Speaker 1: have a voice in my head be uplifting and then
Speaker 1: I just it just takes practice, but you can do it.
Speaker 1: And that's why I'm so like Kurt and I are
Speaker 1: two people, and I think in terms of comedy and
Speaker 1: the comedy scene, we're very positive and we like ourselves
Speaker 1: and that's like a rarity, which sucks. And it's really
Speaker 1: good that you guys have each other, And do you
Speaker 1: have other friends? Who are just as do you help friends?
Speaker 1: Like I'm crying in the corner, just like, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I have this amazing I have this amazing
Speaker 1: group of friends. First of all, weirdly, I had this
Speaker 1: renaissance about two years ago on through social media. I
Speaker 1: have a huge group of friends in my normal life,
Speaker 1: but I had this very strange turnover in becoming an
Speaker 1: entrepreneur and doing things on social media that I had
Speaker 1: this huge influx of friends new friends, which is a
Speaker 1: very strange thing to have happened in your late twenties
Speaker 1: early thirties. Yeah, in adulthood. Yeah, in adulthood. People people
Speaker 1: are always asking me, like, how do I make friends
Speaker 1: with other women? Specifically, Like as an adult, I met friends. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like friends. I'm scared more scared to talk to adult
Speaker 1: women that I'm to adult men, because with adult men,
Speaker 1: I at least have a little bit of leverage even
Speaker 1: in the back of my head, which makes me comfortable
Speaker 1: enough to want to talk to them. But with adult women,
Speaker 1: like female comedians, I'm like, why would they want to
Speaker 1: talk to me? Right? And I and I really like
Speaker 1: because of the amazing, incredible people that I've met online
Speaker 1: and just in my normal life, even like even and
Speaker 1: women that work for pr agencies or brands that I
Speaker 1: work with or things like that, I've become friends with them.
Speaker 1: And what's such an amazing thing is I get to
Speaker 1: now share my experience of making female friends as an
Speaker 1: adult with my audience and to tell them it's possible.
Speaker 1: I was hosting a meet up the other night in
Speaker 1: one of the one of my kind of Instagram friends.
Speaker 1: She's a follower, but I fucking hate that word. It's
Speaker 1: such a terrible work and it sounds and it's also
Speaker 1: just so it's so one sided, you know. To me, um,
Speaker 1: I feel like I have more of a relationship than that.
Speaker 1: But she came to me and said, I came to
Speaker 1: one of your meetups two years ago when I met
Speaker 1: my best friend. Wow, you know, and she's like, we're
Speaker 1: best friends, and she lives somewhere else. She just happened
Speaker 1: to be in town and came to your meet up
Speaker 1: and she's like, now she's moving to New York City.
Speaker 1: And I was like, that is an amazing thing. And
Speaker 1: if you can kind of teach women that it's possible
Speaker 1: to make friends as an adult and that you can
Speaker 1: be badass and strong and cool and have your own life,
Speaker 1: but also like be kind to each other and like
Speaker 1: support each other. And so I've just had the most
Speaker 1: kind of uplifting experience through social media, which is interesting
Speaker 1: because that's like not what most people know. It's not
Speaker 1: like most people are like, how do you the human experience?
Speaker 1: But it's like, how do you make a tiny corner
Speaker 1: of the internet better? Yeah? Shallow light on it? Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I think it's possible. So how do you make
Speaker 1: What are your tips for making friends when you're a
Speaker 1: woman in your late twenties thirties. I think the key
Speaker 1: is really to make that initial connection and not be
Speaker 1: afraid to like say hi, or to complement a woman,
Speaker 1: or to actually I think the scariest things. We all
Speaker 1: have those women in our life that we've met like
Speaker 1: a few times and we're like, she's cool, but like
Speaker 1: I don't know if she'd want to hang out. And
Speaker 1: I always tell people like, what's the worst thing that
Speaker 1: could happen? Yeah? They just say no, Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: she might just say I'm busy, And sometimes, like that's
Speaker 1: been a really hard thing with me because on social
Speaker 1: media people feel like they really know me, and because
Speaker 1: I share so much of my life and I love that,
Speaker 1: like I love it, and I wish I could hang
Speaker 1: out with everyone that asked me. And so what's so
Speaker 1: hard for me is being like, you should put yourself
Speaker 1: out there and ask a woman out to coffee that
Speaker 1: you think would be cool, and then people ask me
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I literally like I didn't mean me, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, I mean no, someone else. I tried to
Speaker 1: meet as many people as poss camp. But you know,
Speaker 1: you're like a human being that has a like a
Speaker 1: has to stay sane and have a life and these things.
Speaker 1: But it's it's actually like I think that getting over
Speaker 1: the hump of that first scary moment of being like
Speaker 1: will she like me? You know I sound weird? Will
Speaker 1: I be creepy? And the thing is just like I
Speaker 1: would be so honored if someone was like, you seem
Speaker 1: really cool, actually, like I would love to be your friend,
Speaker 1: And like how frightening of a thing is it to
Speaker 1: say I would like to be your friend, just like
Speaker 1: if you said to somebody and then it went well, Actually,
Speaker 1: of my best friends now, she d m me on Instagram.
Speaker 1: She was living in Boston. She dammed me on Instagram
Speaker 1: and said, you look really cool. I think we could
Speaker 1: be friends. I'm coming to New York. Can we go
Speaker 1: to coffee? And we went and she's like my best
Speaker 1: friend and she lives here. Now that sounds really fun. See,
Speaker 1: I like that. It's it's hard because you want Yeah,
Speaker 1: it is hard when people only know like this one
Speaker 1: side of you on social media or from a podcast
Speaker 1: or something, and you're like, are they trying to do
Speaker 1: something creepy? Do they just want to be a ranter
Speaker 1: on the movie because they think you are have this
Speaker 1: like fame stunch on you, or do they really think, Wow,
Speaker 1: I've never related to someone as much as I relate
Speaker 1: to so and so. Yeah, I think. I mean I
Speaker 1: kind of feel the same way about like dating, honestly,
Speaker 1: Like it's that same kind of feeling of like, I mean,
Speaker 1: you guys, know, you're out in the world in a
Speaker 1: place where people can easily find you, um, and there's
Speaker 1: just like they can know everything about you before they've
Speaker 1: met you, And you know, do you experience that with
Speaker 1: dating like you did a lot of people who know
Speaker 1: so much about you beforehand. I know that I've like
Speaker 1: they've at least looked how many first dates have I
Speaker 1: been on? Where they're bringing up stuff I have definitely
Speaker 1: not told. Really, yeah, what about the time that you
Speaker 1: did this? So I was looking at it in your
Speaker 1: social media. It's so fucking creepy weird. And people are like,
Speaker 1: do you want to know my Instagram? I'm like, not really,
Speaker 1: I don't care. I'm sitting and I want to know you,
Speaker 1: Like the fuck, Like that is so weird. I would
Speaker 1: never like, yeah, you can google someone to be like,
Speaker 1: well is he short? Like is he really short? Of pictures,
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, he's sitting next to a fence. How
Speaker 1: taller fences? Okay, his arms look short. But no, it's
Speaker 1: not that serious. But like, I would never look someone
Speaker 1: up in deep dive into their social media before I
Speaker 1: met them, because it's happened to me so many times
Speaker 1: that I'm just like and they get they're going to
Speaker 1: take whatever they want from that, and that's not necessarily
Speaker 1: who you are. And I think a lot of times
Speaker 1: guys just like hot in rule life, like let's check
Speaker 1: it out. But it's like, I also don't need you
Speaker 1: to see me like that more. Running on the way
Speaker 1: back from soul cycle, like talking to the camera like
Speaker 1: a psycho that I like, I do like just like
Speaker 1: walking down the street. I mean, I don't that's too
Speaker 1: intimate for this moment when I have not met you.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean, you know a lot of times,
Speaker 1: like I mean, I'm on dating apps when I'm not
Speaker 1: dating someone, and so it's kind of like because I
Speaker 1: actually preferred dating not being in relationships. What do you
Speaker 1: like about I love dating in New York? You know,
Speaker 1: it's it's it's a sentence that's never been said. No,
Speaker 1: I love it too. It's hard, but I really like
Speaker 1: it because you never know, you could meet anybody and
Speaker 1: truly every type of person. My thing is kind of like,
Speaker 1: you know, either it's going to be a good date,
Speaker 1: or it's going to be an average date, or it's
Speaker 1: going to go really bad. And I would rather go
Speaker 1: really bad or really well, yeah great, the average date
Speaker 1: is it's boring. I'm like, at least I can have
Speaker 1: a story, Like, give me a story. Like we're we're
Speaker 1: trying to get book material here. You know, I'm not
Speaker 1: going to probably put in my dating stories in a book.
Speaker 1: Those will save for those to your heart, your one
Speaker 1: woman show, for my one woman show. Um No, It's
Speaker 1: also I'm like I want to eventually, like potentially run
Speaker 1: for politics one day. So I'm like, you know what,
Speaker 1: what kind local government center, congresswoman? You know what, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know where it'll take me. I
Speaker 1: want to try to impact as many people in the
Speaker 1: world in a positive way as I can, and if
Speaker 1: I kind of live right now because life is so crazy.
Speaker 1: I'm sure you guys feel like life's a little crazy.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you're like, I don't know what the next opportunity
Speaker 1: will be, Like it could be a TV show offer
Speaker 1: in my inbox, or like, you know, it's excited discount
Speaker 1: it subway. You know, if you don't know either, I
Speaker 1: will take and you're excited about both. Exam But yeah,
Speaker 1: I think I've learned being an entrepreneur in the past
Speaker 1: two years and just doing kind of a lifestyle that
Speaker 1: isn't so consistent as having a normal job and all
Speaker 1: these different things that you really have to live life
Speaker 1: really open handed, you know, and being like whatever flows
Speaker 1: into your hands that was meant to be there, and
Speaker 1: when it's supposed to leave, it will leave. And so
Speaker 1: all I can do is kind of state my intentions
Speaker 1: about what I'd like to do, Like I want to
Speaker 1: impact the world in a positive way, but do it
Speaker 1: with like a lot of like the word fuck and
Speaker 1: like being cool and not having it be this like
Speaker 1: fake water down version. Yeah, this this like watered down
Speaker 1: thing that's acceptable. You know. I want to just be
Speaker 1: able to teach women to be themselves. And whether that's
Speaker 1: in politics or in my book or a podcast or
Speaker 1: TV show or just like at the grocery store, Like
Speaker 1: let's be really actually don't go to the grocery store
Speaker 1: and get my groceries delivered. Um, but if but let's
Speaker 1: say like I'm in an uberpool and so you accidentally
Speaker 1: found yourself in a grocery. Accidentally in a grocery this
Speaker 1: isn't the club. Wait a minute, Um, why am I
Speaker 1: wearing sequence? No? I just I'm like whatever opportunity news
Speaker 1: come my way. I'm just like all right. Take the
Speaker 1: heart of this is that the base. So politics could
Speaker 1: be one of them. Definitely. Um. There's an organization called
Speaker 1: she Should Run and they're trying to get I think
Speaker 1: thirty women to run for two people to run for
Speaker 1: office by women. So, um, they have an incubator where
Speaker 1: you can put your name in the hat for like
Speaker 1: an incubator of how to get into politics. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: so I'm what's the website she should run dot Ork
Speaker 1: or she should run Okay, I'll look that up. That's fascinating.
Speaker 1: That makes me happy that an organization like that exists.
Speaker 1: One of my um awesome brand partners is Adidas, and
Speaker 1: I'm an ambassador for them globally and this holiday season
Speaker 1: and they were like, instead of um, you know, throwing
Speaker 1: you guys a party or giving you gifts, We're going
Speaker 1: to give you ten thousand dollars so you can give
Speaker 1: to an organization of your choice. And so it was
Speaker 1: so awesome. And so I got really into researching all
Speaker 1: these organizations of like what people are doing. Oh, that's
Speaker 1: so cool. And I found she should run and I
Speaker 1: was like, this is really cool, Like what an awesome thing.
Speaker 1: So it was definitely like I was like, yeah, this
Speaker 1: has got to be where the money. It's too easy,
Speaker 1: I think when you just pay attention to the news
Speaker 1: to focus on all of the ship, you know, like
Speaker 1: all the terrible, horrible things that are happening all the
Speaker 1: time around us in all parts of the world. And
Speaker 1: so that's cool to be able. I like, I like
Speaker 1: learning about new things that are good and positive and
Speaker 1: make me have faith in humanity and taken by surprise
Speaker 1: at this moment, Do you guys feel more hopeful or
Speaker 1: hopeless hopeful? Yeah, I didn't. I I didn't. A lot
Speaker 1: of people really truly felt hopeless when Trump got elected,
Speaker 1: but I didn't because I was like, you know what
Speaker 1: everyone knows, when you hit rock bottom, the only place
Speaker 1: you can go is up. And I think, I'm like,
Speaker 1: let's just it happened, so let's just take it as
Speaker 1: a learning experience and figure out where can we go
Speaker 1: from here? And why? Like obviously a lot of people
Speaker 1: felt like Trump was the right president for them, So
Speaker 1: why I feel that way? Not just you're wrong, but
Speaker 1: I mean if a half the country feels a way
Speaker 1: that's not me. I mean I wouldn't say wrong. It's
Speaker 1: like they feel slighted in some way and this was
Speaker 1: the person that they thought could get them out of
Speaker 1: this hole. Yeah. I think people need to be better
Speaker 1: at listening, and myself included. I mean, I'm not that
Speaker 1: I'm trying to be a better listener. So I think
Speaker 1: by talking about conversations and having people resonate with them,
Speaker 1: it's it's it's hopeful for me because you realize, oh,
Speaker 1: the simple thing of just talking about ship can actually
Speaker 1: make an impact. So that's cool and that's free. Yeah. Absolutely.
Speaker 1: I was talking to a friend about this and I
Speaker 1: did not think I was going to bring up like
Speaker 1: farming techniques on this podcast, but go for it. That's
Speaker 1: some hot farming technique. No, So I remember learning of
Speaker 1: this when I was little, and I probably have the
Speaker 1: mechanics of it all wrong, but basically, there's like a
Speaker 1: slash and burn technique farming. You know, they've slash all
Speaker 1: the fields down, they burn it down because the alternative
Speaker 1: is to keep growing crops, and the crops are like
Speaker 1: more and more unhealthy as you just keep using the
Speaker 1: same soil. And I kind of feel like we're in
Speaker 1: the moment of like everything on politics and feminism and
Speaker 1: all of these kind of areas of life. Everything is
Speaker 1: being slashed and burned and we had to hit rock bottom.
Speaker 1: We burn it down, and then the soil is actually
Speaker 1: enriched from like the ash, and so I'm like that
Speaker 1: that's what I'm hoping. Happy. Yeah, I think. So I
Speaker 1: think we're at that direction. Yeah, I think. I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't I never know if we're at the bottom,
Speaker 1: because I thought we were at the bottom like a
Speaker 1: wild ago, but we just keep saying the funnel down.
Speaker 1: But I am hopeful too. And I'm hopeful because I
Speaker 1: talked to awesome women every day about their lives and
Speaker 1: about their positivity and and for me or even their
Speaker 1: struggle all of it. Like and for me, that is
Speaker 1: hopeful because people are talking to each other, you know,
Speaker 1: whether the medium has changed, you like calling like Bev
Speaker 1: on the phone, but but like you're you know, whether
Speaker 1: you're talking to change on the internet or your best friend,
Speaker 1: it's it's people talking about things in their lives. Since
Speaker 1: think that's super important. Do you have any attempts for
Speaker 1: interacting with people, because I know you had. You said
Speaker 1: you had a lot of thoughts on social media, like
Speaker 1: for interacting with people in a constructive way on social
Speaker 1: media because it's a lot of negativity, it's a lot
Speaker 1: of fighting. So how do you kind of get around
Speaker 1: that and and get some depth out of social media? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think the thing is like not just on social media,
Speaker 1: but in life, it's too kind of really exercise the
Speaker 1: muscle of empathy, Like how do we become more empathetic
Speaker 1: to people? And it's not about sympathizing with them. It's
Speaker 1: about actually going down and figuring out why they think
Speaker 1: the things they think. Perhaps like if I grew up
Speaker 1: in a different I grew up in Texas in like, uh,
Speaker 1: like a religious household, but not like not like a
Speaker 1: pressurized religious household. It was like very like you can
Speaker 1: believe what you want. We're not like we're Christian, but
Speaker 1: like you can go to church or not. And I
Speaker 1: kind of grew up with an encouraging mother. You know,
Speaker 1: my family has its major lea fucked up parts um
Speaker 1: for sure. But I think it's about knowing people's story
Speaker 1: a little bit more and digging a little past the
Speaker 1: opinion that offends you and saying, okay, well what is
Speaker 1: their circumstance that makes them believe these things? And like
Speaker 1: how can I ask questions about that? Yeah, because feelings
Speaker 1: are not fake. People feel when they feel angry or
Speaker 1: impassioned or that's real and it's coming from somewhere. And
Speaker 1: I think to say like that that's why the whole
Speaker 1: well you're wrong, that's wrong. And I do this all
Speaker 1: the time, and I kind of, you know, I get
Speaker 1: on myself for this. I'm trying to stop, but that's
Speaker 1: why it's it feels so offensive or whatever when people
Speaker 1: are butting heads because you're like, well, how can you
Speaker 1: deny that that's not how I feel? Because I'm telling
Speaker 1: you that's how I fucking feel. Are you in my head? Now?
Speaker 1: You're not? So I think that's yeah, realizing that feelings
Speaker 1: are real and they're not gonna last forever and they're
Speaker 1: there for a reason, and figure out the route. Maybe
Speaker 1: you can't. Maybe can't. But like just even saying that,
Speaker 1: I think also, like, I mean, guns are one thing,
Speaker 1: and I'm from Texas and like the South, there's a
Speaker 1: lot of like men wrapped up in guns for people,
Speaker 1: you know, and for you you know, not for me.
Speaker 1: But I was having a conversation with some of the
Speaker 1: other day and I'm like, they're they're very kind of
Speaker 1: like hard, hardline defensive guns. I'm like, okay, and like
Speaker 1: kids are dying. Let's talk about this, okay, Like let's
Speaker 1: not talk about what's happening now. Why why guns? You know?
Speaker 1: And it turns out that that person has like a
Speaker 1: really personal connection because a lot of memories with their
Speaker 1: family and a lot of good posits are are wrapped
Speaker 1: up in that. And so when you tell them that's
Speaker 1: a bad thing you're saying, yeah, or like that memory
Speaker 1: is invalid, you know, And that's men, women, every everyone,
Speaker 1: Like people's people's views are wrapped up in their memories,
Speaker 1: you know, And so it's about going back to those
Speaker 1: memories and saying, like I hear you, and I hear that,
Speaker 1: and I relate to that because I have a similar
Speaker 1: memory with this other thing. But let's talk about then, Like,
Speaker 1: after we've kind of understood where they're coming from, then
Speaker 1: let's talk about the thing. And like, I think you
Speaker 1: can kind of come to some more resolution or at
Speaker 1: least a kind you know, a place where you're you're
Speaker 1: you may never actually believe what they believe, and they
Speaker 1: probably won't believe what you believe, but at least you
Speaker 1: can be civil and you can walk away from a
Speaker 1: conversation and fucking breathe and be like, yeah, that really productive.
Speaker 1: I think at the end of the day, issues like that,
Speaker 1: like divisive issues like the gun control, abortion, at the
Speaker 1: end of the day, if you really get to a
Speaker 1: place where you can humanize every everybody, where everybody's coming from,
Speaker 1: you both agree on the same principles, like you actually
Speaker 1: people have more in common than they don't. Like I was,
Speaker 1: I was emailing back and forth with this guy about abortion,
Speaker 1: and he was saying but at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: it's like, well, I don't like the idea of babies
Speaker 1: being murdered either, Like, that's not something I think when
Speaker 1: I think of abor, and writes I don't think of that.
Speaker 1: I think of a woman's respecting women, and you know,
Speaker 1: kind of just figuring out where everybody's coming from. And
Speaker 1: it's usually principles that both people agree on, Like, wow,
Speaker 1: we just had that a whole fucking fight and we
Speaker 1: think the same thing. And speaking of knowing people's stories,
Speaker 1: So you said you were you grew up in Texas.
Speaker 1: Can you tell us a little bit about your home life,
Speaker 1: like who sisters, brothers, parents, who was in the hedge? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I actually was born in Korea. Well, my mom
Speaker 1: was there. She was in the Yours Air Force and
Speaker 1: she was there teaching English, and so you know, my
Speaker 1: mom was the first person in our family to go
Speaker 1: to college. Um she I don't know how she broke
Speaker 1: out of her family to kind of do that, but
Speaker 1: she was always really like intellectually smart and like street smart.
Speaker 1: But but I'm like she's really dumb on the streets.
Speaker 1: Um No. So she moved and it was kind of
Speaker 1: this brave thing because everyone in our family lived in
Speaker 1: Upstate New York and she kind of was like, I'm
Speaker 1: going to do this. Moved to Korea. At the time,
Speaker 1: you know, white lady is not really that cool in Korea. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean nineteen eighties, early nineteen eighties, like that time,
Speaker 1: like Americans like weren't all over the world. Social media
Speaker 1: wasn't everywhere like the world is now so kind of mixed,
Speaker 1: you know, but back then it just like wasn't a
Speaker 1: ton of Americans, And so she actually experienced a lot
Speaker 1: of harassment being a woman there. Um, and she was
Speaker 1: a natural rest Um I mean yeah, I think. I
Speaker 1: mean I remember her telling me, like a guy grabbed
Speaker 1: her ass in the bus and things like that. But
Speaker 1: people would mostly be kind of like demeaning towards her.
Speaker 1: She was white and um, you know I'm not I'm
Speaker 1: also not like being like poor white people not no.
Speaker 1: But but she met my dad who was an architect there,
Speaker 1: and um, she was very sassy when they met. They
Speaker 1: met at a bar and he said he kind of
Speaker 1: they looked at each other and my mom kind of
Speaker 1: smiled and he said in Korean, go home you yea
Speaker 1: gy like not not nicely, and then my mom in
Speaker 1: perfect Koreans not without you. Yo. Yeah, I was like, damn,
Speaker 1: my mom had some game. So yeah, they ended up
Speaker 1: dating and got married and had me, and then they
Speaker 1: were like, Okay, we're gonna live here for a few years.
Speaker 1: But you know, they knew I would always be treated
Speaker 1: differently there. And the home life for kids in Korea
Speaker 1: is just so intensely like it's so about education, and
Speaker 1: like education is great, but also kids should go outside,
Speaker 1: they had fun, and they shouldn't be at like piano
Speaker 1: for nine hours a week, you know, and that is
Speaker 1: a real thing, like the shame of not getting being
Speaker 1: not but yeah, not being you know, the best and
Speaker 1: getting into the best school. Like kids that are six
Speaker 1: are thinking about college, you know. And so my parents
Speaker 1: were just like, I don't think we want to do this.
Speaker 1: And so you know, my parents literally looked at a
Speaker 1: map and they were like, my mom said, well, I
Speaker 1: liked Western movies, so Texas seems fine. I was like,
Speaker 1: this is not a good way to choose this. If
Speaker 1: I would have been more outspoken as a four year old,
Speaker 1: I've probably been like, wait, guys, New York seems cooler. Um,
Speaker 1: but yeah, so we moved to Texas. They picked San
Speaker 1: Antonio because it was central. I don't know what that means. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: so it was. It was actually really amazing because my
Speaker 1: mom like didn't have the Air Force base or anything there,
Speaker 1: so she was just chill. She was she was. She
Speaker 1: had to get a job, but she got a new
Speaker 1: job at Neutral System. Do you know what Neutro system? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: a good type place. Um. And my dad was did
Speaker 1: not speak a lot of English and did not carry
Speaker 1: over his architecture thing. Um, and he basically I have
Speaker 1: vivid memories of him sitting on our couch with a
Speaker 1: TV table in front of him, which are TV tables.
Speaker 1: People don't know. I have him in my house and
Speaker 1: I love TV. They're parents and TV trays. They're so great.
Speaker 1: New Yorkers should be the ones that should happen, the
Speaker 1: ones I have one of my They have make ones
Speaker 1: that like latched down and have metal bottoms. It doesn't
Speaker 1: look it doesn't make your living or look like the
Speaker 1: set of Roseanne like it actually looks. It's like it's
Speaker 1: sound a bougie TV tray and me ever say TV
Speaker 1: trays because no one watches television anymore. And I did
Speaker 1: just flip my hair for those. So if your dad
Speaker 1: couldn't speak that much English, how did you talk to him? Yeah,
Speaker 1: so it was a lot of broken English. So my
Speaker 1: dad really like he started to learn English through my
Speaker 1: mom whenever she was there. Fascinating when people fall in
Speaker 1: love and one of them speaks one like a view,
Speaker 1: so fascinated. But I mean, I mean she did speak Korean,
Speaker 1: which was helpful, but you know, she kind of taught
Speaker 1: my dad English and he knew a little bit um,
Speaker 1: but's it was still like, let's say, not grammatically correct, right,
Speaker 1: It was a lot we try to speak, I mean
Speaker 1: exactly Korean, even Spanish anything. Yeah, my Spanish not great,
Speaker 1: not a great conjugation. But they they kind of scrapped together.
Speaker 1: So I remember him sitting on the couch with a
Speaker 1: TV tray and he was like, I don't know what
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do. So we started making costume jewelry. He
Speaker 1: would buy the backings and all these like austring crystals,
Speaker 1: and I remember the whole house smelled like glue um,
Speaker 1: like it was definitely not organic glue smell um. I
Speaker 1: don't know if glue could be organic, but it definitely wasn't.
Speaker 1: It was like he was gluing rhyan stones on the
Speaker 1: backings and he'd put them in a briefcase and then
Speaker 1: he'd take them to these stores and he'd be like,
Speaker 1: do you want to wholesale my jewelry? And he literally
Speaker 1: was a door to door re salesman and on the weekends.
Speaker 1: Was such a vivid memory for me at that time
Speaker 1: was they had a booth at the flea market and yeah,
Speaker 1: and it was an indoor flea market was called I
Speaker 1: don't remember what it was called, but I went, but
Speaker 1: actually went like we drove by it, like not too
Speaker 1: long ago when I was in Texas. I was like,
Speaker 1: holy sh it, that's a lot of my weekends were
Speaker 1: spent there growing up. But they had a booth and
Speaker 1: my dad would sell his jewelry and my mom and
Speaker 1: I would be there on the weekends with him, and
Speaker 1: I remember every like Saturday, I would eat a chicken
Speaker 1: faita taco. I would run around. The smell of popcorn
Speaker 1: was like wafting through the air, like the terrible like
Speaker 1: overly popcorn, very well, and I remember vividly, like there
Speaker 1: would be there was this T shirt press guy. He sold.
Speaker 1: It was blank T shirts and they had all the
Speaker 1: designs on the wall and it was like the puffy
Speaker 1: paint kind of screen printing, very nineties. So you would
Speaker 1: pick your design and he would screen print the shirt
Speaker 1: right there. And I remember I would just sit on
Speaker 1: the piles of shirts and talk to him and and
Speaker 1: just hang out with him, basically like the people that
Speaker 1: worked the flea market, where like my babysitters and my
Speaker 1: mom would just let me run around, which would never
Speaker 1: happen now. Um. And I remember the guy across the
Speaker 1: way from my parents booth. He sold rocks. He was
Speaker 1: like he was like I used to collect rocks when
Speaker 1: I was young. Rocks were very hot to rock shows,
Speaker 1: jewel rocks like like like this, Um okay, well he
Speaker 1: had something he had mostly like those kind of rocks, yeah,
Speaker 1: which is very trendy now, like people love like a
Speaker 1: Rose Courts for like you know, Ben the sale rock
Speaker 1: sales Pershon was way ahead of his time. And he
Speaker 1: always wore this fishing vest and he was like an
Speaker 1: old grandpa. And I would just hang out with them
Speaker 1: all day and my parents make stopped bothering Ben. I'm like,
Speaker 1: he's way cooler than you guys. And I was an
Speaker 1: only kid. I was only child, so I didn't have
Speaker 1: like brothers and sisters to hang out with, So I
Speaker 1: just hung out with old people. So so you just
Speaker 1: like your friends were adults. That's so interesting as that kid.
Speaker 1: Do you think, how do you think that affected you?
Speaker 1: You know what I think it affected me. I think
Speaker 1: it made me um a little bit more mature. When
Speaker 1: I was little and I was like surrounded by like
Speaker 1: a lot of people like that were a little bit
Speaker 1: more entrepreneurial, like my dad was and saying I grew
Speaker 1: up in businesses and people developing businesses. And I remember
Speaker 1: like my first the first time I ever knew I
Speaker 1: was going to be an entrepreneur. I think that I
Speaker 1: can remember is at school we had to sell those
Speaker 1: chocolate bars that were like gold round. They were actually
Speaker 1: kind of good. They were good. Yeah, I'm like I
Speaker 1: saw someone selling you in the subway that I was
Speaker 1: like should I or like, I'm good? Um, But at
Speaker 1: school they were like how many? Like they were like
Speaker 1: twenty boxes and twenty bars in a box, and I
Speaker 1: they would said we're taking orders for these. How many
Speaker 1: boxes do you want? Everyone else said like one or
Speaker 1: two because it was like what their parents and their
Speaker 1: parents friends could buy. And I was like, I want ten.
Speaker 1: And my teacher was like, why what are you gonna
Speaker 1: do with ten box of chocolates? I'm going to sell them.
Speaker 1: And I remember my mom pulling up at school and
Speaker 1: I had all these my teachers helping me all these
Speaker 1: boxes of chocolates put in the car and they were
Speaker 1: white boxes and had a black handle on the top.
Speaker 1: And my mom said, how are we going to get
Speaker 1: rid of these? And I said, Mom, We're going to
Speaker 1: sell them by the box, not by the bar. And
Speaker 1: I was and I was like, we're going to sell
Speaker 1: them to businesses, not to people. I was probably honestly seven,
Speaker 1: and I remember, right, I remember the first place my
Speaker 1: mom and my mom was like, okay, we'll go around.
Speaker 1: And she was always so encouraging of I mean, my
Speaker 1: mom was really strict and we have our you know,
Speaker 1: I mean, she's mother daughter relationships are always sticky, but
Speaker 1: she definitely always she always kind of went along with
Speaker 1: the hair brained idea and so I remember the first
Speaker 1: place that we stopped was this insurance agency and was
Speaker 1: in this like weird portable building that was like on
Speaker 1: center blocks. I was like, yeah, so that the stairs,
Speaker 1: the stairs were like temporary stairs. So I remember walking
Speaker 1: up these temporary stairs and opening this door and walking
Speaker 1: in and seeing this really high desk, putting my box
Speaker 1: of chocolates up on the desk, and and they bought it.
Speaker 1: They bought the box of chocolate. I think I was like,
Speaker 1: I'd like to sell you this box of chocolate, you know,
Speaker 1: and it cost this much and they were like, oh,
Speaker 1: and she I remember her going around the office and people,
Speaker 1: you know, getting the money from everybody and walking out
Speaker 1: that door. Was a feeling of like pride, accomplishment and
Speaker 1: satisfaction that I think I never got rid of um.
Speaker 1: And I was like, Wow, you don't have to do
Speaker 1: everything like everyone else does, but you don't have to
Speaker 1: think like that or do it this certain way, like
Speaker 1: you can always kind of inventing yourself. And so I think,
Speaker 1: you know, the way I grew up as an only
Speaker 1: child run a lot of adults gave me a lot
Speaker 1: of inspiration for kind of how I operated in the world,
Speaker 1: and your mom going along with it too. I feel
Speaker 1: like a parent could easily been like, honey, not just
Speaker 1: do what everyone else is doing and just sell a box.
Speaker 1: That's what all parents do. Parents canna hinder. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean that. I think that's an interesting way to think
Speaker 1: about it, because I definitely definitely part of my success
Speaker 1: is because no matter what crazy idea I had or
Speaker 1: like I really when I get stuck on something, I
Speaker 1: have to have it, whether it be like exactly what
Speaker 1: my Halloween costume is like exactly like well and it
Speaker 1: started out like that, like my birthday party has to
Speaker 1: be this, there has to be this. I am known
Speaker 1: for just inventing things that I don't even know exist
Speaker 1: in my head, like as like an outfit or something
Speaker 1: that I need in my home, and then we cannot
Speaker 1: stop looking for it. Love that I feel I get it,
Speaker 1: which thank God for the Internet because that saves me
Speaker 1: a lot of time. But as a child, my mom
Speaker 1: would just literally drive me around to stores until I
Speaker 1: could find this. So she was kind of the same.
Speaker 1: Yeah I was like I have a vision. I would
Speaker 1: just be like, Mom, I have a vision, and she's like, okay.
Speaker 1: I love that she was like supportive that way because
Speaker 1: because it really it shows how much parents can really
Speaker 1: influence your your future. I think you either kind of
Speaker 1: become your parents, or you become the opposite of them,
Speaker 1: or we take whatever traits we want. But also just
Speaker 1: you know, I can't imagine if my mom had just
Speaker 1: said like, no, we're not doing that. Um, you know.
Speaker 1: And and also I think I always go back and
Speaker 1: forth and maybe you guys can shut some insight on
Speaker 1: this is like I had this experience with this old man. Um.
Speaker 1: I was in this like play at church or something,
Speaker 1: and I was playing in news. I was playing a newscaster.
Speaker 1: What kind of church play was I think? I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think I was a reporting live Jesus has been born.
Speaker 1: I think it was like a modern I think it
Speaker 1: was like a modern spin. So I had a little
Speaker 1: blazer and and I remember being in the front of
Speaker 1: the church lin and this old man who happened to
Speaker 1: be my mom's guy incologist. That's a separate note. He wasn't,
Speaker 1: that was unrelated to this story. Um. He leaned down
Speaker 1: onto his knees, and I remember thinking that was cool
Speaker 1: that he like came on to my level and looked
Speaker 1: me in the eyes and he said, a little girl,
Speaker 1: He's like, you're going to talk to a lot of
Speaker 1: people one day. He's like, you're going to be famous
Speaker 1: and you're going to talk to a lot of people
Speaker 1: one day. That Jesus, Yeah, I was like I went
Speaker 1: that way. I thought you did something weird. No, No,
Speaker 1: he was definitely like lovely um, like a Santa quality,
Speaker 1: And I was like, I was like, I remember in
Speaker 1: that moment that it absorbed, Like I don't know that
Speaker 1: that that. I don't know whether it was like I
Speaker 1: felt it inside and it confirmed something or if it
Speaker 1: implanted something. And I would love to know what you
Speaker 1: guys think about like the things that have been spoken
Speaker 1: over you in your life, like did they push you
Speaker 1: to do it or did they confirm the feeling for you?
Speaker 1: For me, they usually confirmed the feeling. I always knew,
Speaker 1: it just confirmed and it's not like it's not important
Speaker 1: to me. But then there's something This business can be
Speaker 1: so frustrating that every once and again it's nice to
Speaker 1: hear it reinforced from an outside party, Like I would
Speaker 1: have still done it anyway, but it's kind of like
Speaker 1: a breath of relief and anytime someone else recognizes what
Speaker 1: you already see in yourself. Yeah, I like it a lot. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I always go back and forth. I'm like, are we are? We?
Speaker 1: Am I secreting something? More? Am I am? I not
Speaker 1: so um. It's also nice that he kind of There's
Speaker 1: so few stories of interactions where adults say things too
Speaker 1: little to two young girls that is not about their
Speaker 1: look or about them being sweet or polite. It's nice
Speaker 1: to say you're gonna do something, You're gonna be an
Speaker 1: accomplished woman. That's just not a story you hear a
Speaker 1: lot of. And that's why I try to be really
Speaker 1: cognizant when I talked to like little kids about like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's not like your dress is pretty or not, you're
Speaker 1: so sweet. It's just like, wow, you're funny, or you're
Speaker 1: you're cool, or I love the way you You took
Speaker 1: power of that situation. I watched this video recently and
Speaker 1: something I think I think he was Shumer posted on
Speaker 1: our Instagram. Actually I think it was a French and
Speaker 1: it was this commercial that was like a thought experiment.
Speaker 1: They took a little boy and a little girl and
Speaker 1: they both did the same activity and they gave him
Speaker 1: a reward, but the little boy got away. I saw this,
Speaker 1: I cried. Then the little girl, Oh my god, Cren,
Speaker 1: you have to watch it. And you see the little
Speaker 1: girl like they're both looking and the guys like congrats
Speaker 1: you guys, you did it or whatever whatever the funk
Speaker 1: they did. And the little girl's looking at her cup
Speaker 1: and she has it like it's a halfway filled and
Speaker 1: a little boys cups full, and she's like wait what
Speaker 1: wait hold on, And then the camera people are like,
Speaker 1: what what's wrong, like trying to like, you know, it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, a reaction for these kids and and the boys.
Speaker 1: The one of the boys is like, well, it's not
Speaker 1: fair that she got. One of the little girls says,
Speaker 1: this is what she says. She's but I did the
Speaker 1: same work, like, oh my god. And then then it's
Speaker 1: like you see their thought process and you see obviously,
Speaker 1: like you see how easily you can indent a child's
Speaker 1: brain forever into thinking that they are capable or not
Speaker 1: capable by that little girl's fucking look in her eye. Man,
Speaker 1: I mean that's why I'm like, I'll stick to adults. Yeah, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: it's now I'm going to stick to like impacting adults,
Speaker 1: because especially when you're a kid, though, and someone tells
Speaker 1: you something, how do you know if it's true. I mean,
Speaker 1: anything can be true, right, I mean, even nowadays. So
Speaker 1: it's like when you're a child, Oh my god, you
Speaker 1: could choose to believe something easily, and then that shapes
Speaker 1: your whole life. I mean, I have a couple of
Speaker 1: those moments in my life where people's words really I think,
Speaker 1: you know, either confirmed or charted, whatever territory I would
Speaker 1: go in. I mean, and my mom is, like I said,
Speaker 1: she was really like kind of a disciplinarian a lot
Speaker 1: of the time. And we you know, a lot of
Speaker 1: my growing up here is like we did not get
Speaker 1: along because I had a terrible attitude and it was
Speaker 1: like definitely a little bit of a rebellious teenager. Um,
Speaker 1: I lived five minutes from Mexico, Like I was just
Speaker 1: in Mexico a lot at like Mexican clubs, Like at
Speaker 1: fourteen to eighteen, I was like pretty much spent like
Speaker 1: scent of my time like in a Mexican club. Me club, Like,
Speaker 1: oh so my favorite one was called Amnesia and is
Speaker 1: a great name. And this is like this is like
Speaker 1: some illegal acts called passed out. So I would actually
Speaker 1: my I had at the time a very sick white
Speaker 1: Pontiac firebird teeth. Whoa, which what year you know? Um?
Speaker 1: It was the nineties, so it wasn't even cool. It
Speaker 1: wasn't like Vega. It was just like of the time. Um.
Speaker 1: So all the boys in my school thought it was
Speaker 1: really cool. All the girls, all the girls like we
Speaker 1: want to Jetta. I'm like, okay, Daddy's just Christina, just
Speaker 1: popular Jetta. That's so all the hot popular girls and
Speaker 1: all the guys that turned out to be gay when
Speaker 1: they were all Jetta's. Yeah, Jetta's like the official car
Speaker 1: not out gay man. Yeah. Um but I mean maybe
Speaker 1: that would maybe they would still like jettas that. We
Speaker 1: just don't have cars here. Um but anyway. Uh So
Speaker 1: I remember going to Amnesia and the rule was we
Speaker 1: would drive, and which was from my friends. I would
Speaker 1: slam as many people in the bucket seats as I
Speaker 1: possibly could, which is not a lot of seat pills. Um,
Speaker 1: and I would stuff all my friends in the back,
Speaker 1: and we of course take the tea tops off at night.
Speaker 1: So what it's fine, we drive across the Mexican border,
Speaker 1: just cruise on over to Mexico. So they don't even care.
Speaker 1: They just like my boyfriend went to uh to go
Speaker 1: to Mexico and they just watched across the border. No,
Speaker 1: don't even asked, well, they only asked when you're coming back. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're like that. They're like, you buy and then like,
Speaker 1: oh wait you want to come back? Okay, we gotta
Speaker 1: check this. But anyway, UM, I would go and I
Speaker 1: would pay this. There would be this guy that hung
Speaker 1: out in this parking lot and I would pay him
Speaker 1: ten dollars to watch my car. But I pay him
Speaker 1: five dollars at the beginning the night, and five dollars
Speaker 1: when I got out, Wait to watch your car to
Speaker 1: make sure no one like Jeffrey car Oh yeah, it's
Speaker 1: pretty Just start in the parking lot. Yeah, he just
Speaker 1: found in the parking lot. He was sit in the
Speaker 1: parking lot either wet like he wasn't working at the
Speaker 1: parking level. Let's be clear. He was just a guy
Speaker 1: was sitting. Um, so he was always there. Yeah. So um.
Speaker 1: We'd go to this club called Amnesia, and that was
Speaker 1: one of our main stops. And rule was that it
Speaker 1: was ten dollars to get in and then you open
Speaker 1: bar all night. That's if you came after ten pm,
Speaker 1: ten dollars all you can drink, which is not esia
Speaker 1: for people that are yeah, oh my god, if I
Speaker 1: had my hands on open bar. But guys, the better
Speaker 1: thing was because I was such a frugal, cost efficient
Speaker 1: young lady, and I had to pay this other guy
Speaker 1: ten bucks. I'm like, I'm twenty bucks in like no,
Speaker 1: So the rule was if you got there before ten,
Speaker 1: it was free and free open bar. What the funk?
Speaker 1: How did they make that? Open? Amnesia business mom a
Speaker 1: great business model. Yeah, but I will say that the
Speaker 1: majority of people did come after ten. I was usually seven,
Speaker 1: walking through the door, waltzing through the door with so
Speaker 1: much pride. I was like discount for me a rum
Speaker 1: and coke? Please wait in Mexico? Can you just drink
Speaker 1: at any Yeah? Yeah, they just overlooked. Yeah. And then
Speaker 1: I remember there was another bar down the street. Um,
Speaker 1: and I would like make out with the bartender and
Speaker 1: Sasha owner, who was forty. I'm like fifteen, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm like now, thinking back, like that wasn't great. When
Speaker 1: I was I would have thought that was hot, but
Speaker 1: fifteen and a forty year old, yeah, he was like
Speaker 1: he was like he was like definitely a hot forty
Speaker 1: Like he wasn't like thank god. I mean yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean I wasn't great decisions at all. Yeah, but you're young.
Speaker 1: You're young, and you're like, I want to feel like
Speaker 1: I'm taking risky a business owner. He's got his life together.
Speaker 1: Oh you're always you really like yeah, I'm like, I'm like,
Speaker 1: he's he's got his And then but then he would
Speaker 1: like tell me about his wife and I and I
Speaker 1: would you know, a fifteen I wasn't looking to date him.
Speaker 1: I was just like, oh, I'm fun. And they have
Speaker 1: this crazy shot that you would take and then you'd
Speaker 1: have to sit on the counter and take it and
Speaker 1: they put your head in this machine. The machine would
Speaker 1: just shake your head. Wait, hold on, that sounds unsafe.
Speaker 1: I got to go to this place. Honestly, we stopped
Speaker 1: going because the cartel was like cutting people's heads off,
Speaker 1: so annoying. Had a good spot party poop. Totally hate
Speaker 1: it when the cartel that's maybe that's what the machines for,
Speaker 1: so they can't come up your head machine, Hey guys,
Speaker 1: for one second, the cartel cannot ahead you. Also, my
Speaker 1: favorite drink at the time was a flaming dr pepper,
Speaker 1: which was actually on fire, so it wasn't like the
Speaker 1: best mode of decision making of my life. But it
Speaker 1: was a lot of fun. I was also eating from
Speaker 1: street cards that were unrefrigerated at that time as well,
Speaker 1: which also was that the most atrocious part of the
Speaker 1: whole time. I mean to be honest, I'm more ashamed
Speaker 1: of that than about the four year old gender. But yeah,
Speaker 1: so really crazy going growing up process. UM in high
Speaker 1: school and then I went to a private college and
Speaker 1: had like, you know, the normals. I was a strority
Speaker 1: girl with a weird section happening along the way or
Speaker 1: interesting or traumatic happy. It was a little bit of
Speaker 1: like you know, whenever you're like you're kind of approved,
Speaker 1: You're like, I'm not gonna have sex with you, but
Speaker 1: I'll do everything. Yeah, but I'll blow you up with
Speaker 1: my hand up your butt hole. Yeah. I think. I
Speaker 1: think for me, the first sexual experience I've ever had
Speaker 1: was UM. I was watching like you know when VH
Speaker 1: one used to play like pop up video video. It
Speaker 1: was so good, and I remember being like, why do
Speaker 1: I feel funny during some music videos? Like why do
Speaker 1: I feel weird? So this is another rock story. This
Speaker 1: relates to rock like actual stone rocks. But the thing
Speaker 1: thing was like in like the late nineties, collecting rocks
Speaker 1: was so hot. It really whatever marketed that deserves in
Speaker 1: a way. I still have my collection and it's really good.
Speaker 1: We're gonna convince the kids, so I really want to
Speaker 1: buy our rocks. Definitely was a parent who came up
Speaker 1: with them. They were like, this is all we have.
Speaker 1: The kids can't sunk up the future rocks. Not these rocks.
Speaker 1: My um my grandmother lived next to this like babbling
Speaker 1: Brook and the brook of Rocks, so a lot of rocks,
Speaker 1: but they were all smooth because the the river had
Speaker 1: been flowing over the rocks. And so I remember we
Speaker 1: took a bunch of rocks from my rosical rock collection clearly,
Speaker 1: and I brought them home to Texas, and I remember
Speaker 1: watching pop up video being like I feel weird, like
Speaker 1: this is I think this is what like sexy feels like.
Speaker 1: And then I remember I put rocks in my underwear
Speaker 1: and I was just sitting there with rocks in my
Speaker 1: underwear like a weirdo. And then I would like I
Speaker 1: was like, you know, I would feel better because my no,
Speaker 1: I put them in the freezer, not where I thought
Speaker 1: you were going. Then I put them in my underwear.
Speaker 1: But you know what, you know, what I heard recently
Speaker 1: is like jade eggs that you put up your crotch
Speaker 1: now to like strengthen your pelvic floor or actually a thing.
Speaker 1: So I was like onto this whole like jade as
Speaker 1: you put the brook up you or in your underwear,
Speaker 1: I did. I just did my underwear because I like
Speaker 1: that feels did you get off on? I just thought
Speaker 1: it felt like I was like people, you know, you
Speaker 1: kind of were like discovering that you have parts of
Speaker 1: you that have different sensations, which is totally and putting
Speaker 1: a texture like a rock from a babbling brook that's
Speaker 1: like against your vagina, like that's a that sounds fine coldness.
Speaker 1: I think I think, you know, it was just it
Speaker 1: was a break from like the days of the week
Speaker 1: underwear that I was at the time, you know, But
Speaker 1: I mean I was I think I grew up like
Speaker 1: in a culture that was like a party culture, you know,
Speaker 1: I think it was. There was definitely like for me,
Speaker 1: especially like being in clubs and things like that. As
Speaker 1: a young kid, you just saw a lot of stuff.
Speaker 1: I mean, I mean people would be like, you know,
Speaker 1: giving blow jobs in the club and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: And you just see but I mean, but then it
Speaker 1: was like horrible, I mean amnesia had The second story
Speaker 1: was the floor was plexiglass. You could see up girls skirts,
Speaker 1: you know, and you're like, this isn't great. Would not
Speaker 1: pass in like no, like and and but I'm glad
Speaker 1: I had that kind of wild moment in my you know,
Speaker 1: in my life because it actually like probably made me
Speaker 1: a more smart jole. I didn't go through the adult
Speaker 1: crazy stage of being like off the rails because I
Speaker 1: was like, I've been around this before and my mom
Speaker 1: when you get the clubbing and the expires pretty quickly. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And also you're like I went to college, I was like, wait,
Speaker 1: I can't go to clubs here? Why? Because I was
Speaker 1: eighteen and I was not in a foreign country. So
Speaker 1: I think I kind of like had my partying stages,
Speaker 1: and I think I was ready to get serious and
Speaker 1: I really had New York on the brain by the time.
Speaker 1: By the time college really hit, I was like, anything
Speaker 1: I can do to get to New York City. I've
Speaker 1: been wanting to live here since I was eight years old. Um.
Speaker 1: I think Home Alone Too had a lot to do
Speaker 1: with film. The interviewed Devin Retrey was one of the
Speaker 1: most memorable moments of my life. But here's the thing,
Speaker 1: like nothing is actually the same except for like the
Speaker 1: pigeon Lady. I know, even applause as apartments. Now, yeah,
Speaker 1: I did. One of the first things I did was
Speaker 1: go to the lobby of the Plaza Hotel. There was
Speaker 1: a level that's pretty fun. I didn't know about that.
Speaker 1: I mean, he could have really explored that he could.
Speaker 1: It wasn't featured in the film, so I didn't even know.
Speaker 1: It just Donald Trump, which scary. Yeah, I know, that's
Speaker 1: so weird. There no Duncan sweech us is something. Wasn't
Speaker 1: it like supposed to be modeled after like FO Short? Yeah,
Speaker 1: to me that it gives f AO shorts a yeah,
Speaker 1: they just didn't want to pay fo shorts. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I think I think so. Like New York was just
Speaker 1: on my mind at that time, and I was just
Speaker 1: like all business. I was like, did you Dateton College? Yes?
Speaker 1: I did. I was definitely I think I was. We
Speaker 1: all hung out in like a big friend group and
Speaker 1: all the guys were like kind of not my type
Speaker 1: because they were just like fat guys, And I'm like,
Speaker 1: it still wasn't my thing. So I managed to find, like,
Speaker 1: you know, the grum musicians type of the punk rock guy. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: in high school I dated a punk rock guy. He
Speaker 1: was definitely like my first crush and like boy and
Speaker 1: he like Roade BMX and like with a punk rock
Speaker 1: band called down Ships gauges in his ears. Um no,
Speaker 1: but I think he did later in life. But but
Speaker 1: it's like then you look back and you're like, but
Speaker 1: so so the type has kind of evolved now. I
Speaker 1: mean I I tend to date like younger guys than
Speaker 1: I am. How much younger, how old I'm thirty two?
Speaker 1: Oh too? Yeah you know? Um, I mean I'll date
Speaker 1: as young as twenty one. Yeah yeah, And you found
Speaker 1: like you can relate. Yeah, you know. It's it's funny,
Speaker 1: like I think we I don't feel thirty two. I
Speaker 1: don't know what thirty two feels like. But I don't
Speaker 1: feel like I feel somebody. I don't know what that means.
Speaker 1: I feel like I have like the maturity of a
Speaker 1: thirty two year old. I think I have a maturity
Speaker 1: of like a ninety eight year old grandmother. And sometimes
Speaker 1: I feel that deeply on a Friday night, and like
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take a bath. Um, but I think what
Speaker 1: is fun is people are like age has nothing to
Speaker 1: do with people's like intellect how old they are as
Speaker 1: a person inside. And so you know, I'm like, there's
Speaker 1: fift year old men that act like children, and there's
Speaker 1: twenty one year old men that I was gonna actually
Speaker 1: look really great and who have a little more maturity
Speaker 1: to them. Okay, so you have been on dates with
Speaker 1: twenty one year old men that are like, Okay, this
Speaker 1: is it was an interesting, intellectually stimulating evening. Yeah, And
Speaker 1: I think like I think, like I said, my New
Speaker 1: York dating life has been like I've really enjoyed dating
Speaker 1: in New York. I have been in like obviously long
Speaker 1: term relationships and things like that, but I just it
Speaker 1: is so fun. And I think part of its connect
Speaker 1: to what I do to meet people and to sit
Speaker 1: down and listen to their stories. And I think, especially here,
Speaker 1: everyone kind of comes with a new tale to tell
Speaker 1: and so um, it's really fun to uncover that. And
Speaker 1: it's it's kind of like the magic of every time
Speaker 1: you step into a room with someone, you're like, could
Speaker 1: this be someone I work with? Could this be a friend?
Speaker 1: Could this be the love of my life, like that
Speaker 1: feeling of magic never goes away from me. Before I
Speaker 1: go on a date, I always listened to the song
Speaker 1: song It's My Pump Up Jam. I listened to it
Speaker 1: with head I bring headphones every time I go on
Speaker 1: a date, and I listen to the song as outside
Speaker 1: the venue. Yes, as I am walking up to meet
Speaker 1: a person for the first time, I will have yes.
Speaker 1: Cisco follows me on Instagram. Have you ever met him?
Speaker 1: Claim to fame? Um, I have not, but it is
Speaker 1: I don't dream about my wedding because I don't really
Speaker 1: necessarily care about being married, but um, my one goal
Speaker 1: in life is to have Cisco uh do the first
Speaker 1: dance at my wedding, not be the man I'm dancing with,
Speaker 1: but performer. Is that what he follows? You know? He
Speaker 1: actually follows me organically, which just winky ding. Yeah, I know.
Speaker 1: And I used to go to clubs in New York
Speaker 1: when I first moved here, because I don't go to
Speaker 1: clubs now clearly, but I would go and I would
Speaker 1: try to make the DJ's play the Thong song twice
Speaker 1: in a row. And that would be my goal every
Speaker 1: Saturday night. Anybody doing and oh yeah, what more often
Speaker 1: than not. What have they got to lose? I had,
Speaker 1: and they were like, we know them are pretentious, though
Speaker 1: now they are now they're like taking their art seriously.
Speaker 1: Back then, this is like pianos and people are like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, upstairs a piano. People were just like, yeah, whatever,
Speaker 1: we'll play as much juvenile and dum. It was just
Speaker 1: like a cheap, easy cell and people are too drunk
Speaker 1: to notice if it's twice and so I think it's
Speaker 1: a really long song, which now, thinking about the thong song,
Speaker 1: not great to women, not a great messaging point, but
Speaker 1: still very fun to dance at. Do you wear thongs? No?
Speaker 1: Hate them? Who? I used to wear thongs all the
Speaker 1: time and now nope. I saw a girl yesterday when
Speaker 1: I was working out and her pants very see through,
Speaker 1: which I was like, we should talk about that, because pants.
Speaker 1: They got to make better pants. Yeah, sometimes they make pants.
Speaker 1: I feel like that people buy them don't know that
Speaker 1: their seach nobody knows. Nobody knows, and that's rude. And
Speaker 1: then everyone can see your hole and you're like, what, well,
Speaker 1: that's why I got thong on. Well she had a
Speaker 1: thong on and I was like, I really wanted to
Speaker 1: tap around the shoulder and say, isn't aren't you uncomfortable
Speaker 1: in that working out? Like I would be so uncomfortable
Speaker 1: working out in a thong. I don't wear underwear to
Speaker 1: work out. I don't know about you guys, Oh I
Speaker 1: do you do? We We got one no and one yes.
Speaker 1: I don't. I really I don't want to wear underwear
Speaker 1: the juices on my workout pants. Just one game on
Speaker 1: my underwear. But then you're gonna wash the pants anyway? No? Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I'll definitely wash the underwear right after. Maybe I'll
Speaker 1: do able to too. I don't really sweat a lot
Speaker 1: in my workouts. I lift weights, I don't sweat a lot,
Speaker 1: So I mean I will wash the underwear. But maybe
Speaker 1: I'll tell it. You might do it to workout, run
Speaker 1: for each each time, you know? Okay? Yeah? Um I
Speaker 1: that's been a highly contested topic on my instagram of like, like,
Speaker 1: I get that question all the time, so much so
Speaker 1: that I had to wear and certain a Q and
Speaker 1: he no, do you wear underwear when you work out? People?
Speaker 1: People are mystified. People are mystified. Most people don't. Um,
Speaker 1: it's it's it's a toss up a lot of workout
Speaker 1: pants and shorts are constructed so that you don't need
Speaker 1: to like they have built an underwear or like obviously
Speaker 1: like pants like I'm wearing now, you can't really wear
Speaker 1: underwear with them. You would see a whole hugh look
Speaker 1: huge line. The only time if I wear gappy shorts
Speaker 1: like more like running shorts, I were underwear because then
Speaker 1: my trainer we'll see up into my Yes. Uh. And
Speaker 1: you do not want a trainer in your birth As
Speaker 1: much as I'd like to give you a glance for
Speaker 1: free of my birthday, you have to pay extra for that.
Speaker 1: If you want to, you gotta pay me. Yeah moment,
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Um so we have to have upsoume.
Speaker 1: But I just want to kind of talk really briefly
Speaker 1: about how you got into starting a company, like you
Speaker 1: know that you did the chocolate selling and then you
Speaker 1: kind of really went out and made made yourself an entrepreneur,
Speaker 1: because I think that's a really interesting story. I was
Speaker 1: kind of looking into it last night. So you moved
Speaker 1: to New York the day the day that you took
Speaker 1: your final exam from college. You were on a plane
Speaker 1: that day, which is like fucking amazing to two suitcases
Speaker 1: you were out. I was like, so, my mom's like,
Speaker 1: what about the graduation ceremony? Like bucket, why would I
Speaker 1: come back for this? That's awesome? Like why would I
Speaker 1: wear that stupid hat? My hair does not cooperate with
Speaker 1: that hat. Um No. So I moved to New York.
Speaker 1: I interned at Nylon magazine, which I like, was that
Speaker 1: was my dream internship. I got it, and it was
Speaker 1: It was the coolest experience because it was like very
Speaker 1: much when Nylon was like hot at that time. But
Speaker 1: then I realized, like I don't want to be these
Speaker 1: people that were my I didn't want my boss. I
Speaker 1: didn't want my boss's job. I didn't want my boss's
Speaker 1: boss's job. And it really kind of threw me for
Speaker 1: a loop because I was like everything I'd ever planned
Speaker 1: for was working in magazines, and I started in magazine
Speaker 1: in college. I turned at so many magazines. It's so like.
Speaker 1: I remember getting so desperate to intern that I interned
Speaker 1: at a home foreclosures magazine because they didn't have of
Speaker 1: anything else in Fort Worth, Texas. And I was like
Speaker 1: writing about home foreclosures, and I was like, this is
Speaker 1: this is how I make it in magazines like they're
Speaker 1: going to see this on the resume. So yeah, I
Speaker 1: I you know, I was kind of like disheartened by that. UM.
Speaker 1: But then I was like, okay, well there's something else
Speaker 1: for me. And so I remember seeing this job on
Speaker 1: cragslistumas for a marketing pr assistant coordinator kind of job,
Speaker 1: and I applied and it was with this furniture designer
Speaker 1: in the architecture and home space, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I probably could do that. UM. And I remember sitting
Speaker 1: at a robot cafe on Houston Street and and yeah,
Speaker 1: and he was like my boss, you know, the owner
Speaker 1: was like, well, I'm not seeing any qualifications you have
Speaker 1: for this job. And I'm like, yeah, like I really don't.
Speaker 1: I said, you know, here's the thing. I think i'd
Speaker 1: be really good at it. And I said, I said
Speaker 1: give me three months and I will fire myself the
Speaker 1: end of three months if I'm bad, and I'll find
Speaker 1: you someone new. And he was kind of like I
Speaker 1: think he was kind of just blown away by my
Speaker 1: like a percompetence, but also maybe also tired of looking
Speaker 1: for someone. I don't know. That's the kind of line
Speaker 1: that you would hear, like out of a young man
Speaker 1: in a movie. But I think it's just like not
Speaker 1: the kind of a ballsy like I don't really have
Speaker 1: anything to back this up, but I'm just gonna say
Speaker 1: it and then figure it out, and more women should
Speaker 1: do that. It's like women should have the guy out
Speaker 1: to Like, I just think women need to put themselves
Speaker 1: out there more because you're everyone is capable of it,
Speaker 1: and half the people are bullshitting anyway, So do women
Speaker 1: just bullshit too? Fake? Make it? Yeah? And I kind
Speaker 1: of was just like, I know I can figure it
Speaker 1: out because because I truly, like in my gut, I
Speaker 1: knew that I could, Like I knew I would make
Speaker 1: it past three months, and so you know, I didn't
Speaker 1: just bluff. I knew, you know. And so it's like
Speaker 1: if women could just speak their truth a little bit
Speaker 1: and you feel the fire, you feel that that pit
Speaker 1: in your stomach, and I feel like a lot of
Speaker 1: a lot of people, mostly women, push that down down.
Speaker 1: And then I think it's it's about like, um, knowing
Speaker 1: the things you're capable of, But then also like speaking
Speaker 1: them out is the scariest thing for us, I think,
Speaker 1: because what if we fail, what if we're not perfect?
Speaker 1: What if someone doesn't believe it is exciting. That's great
Speaker 1: if you're gonna learn, and then that's the closer you
Speaker 1: get to a yes. And I think, I mean, so
Speaker 1: I think sometimes I think it's exciting. I think I
Speaker 1: think whatever, whether you fail or whether you succeed, you
Speaker 1: are closer to the place you're supposed to be. So
Speaker 1: whatever it inches you closer to what's for you, you know.
Speaker 1: And so, um, he gave me the job and he's like,
Speaker 1: I don't even want to train you. I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: well I can train myself all and needs a laptop
Speaker 1: and then he gave me like an acer laptop. I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: this isn't okay. It's not fully what I wanted. I
Speaker 1: wanted to mac, but um, I worked my way up
Speaker 1: to that. But I ended up staying there for eight
Speaker 1: years and I became the marketing director. It was like,
Speaker 1: you know, the second in command of the owner. Um.
Speaker 1: And it was such a cool experience because I really
Speaker 1: was able to prove myself but then also like learn
Speaker 1: and build something. And I tumbled a lot and I
Speaker 1: tried things that didn't work, and I and I think
Speaker 1: the freedom of doing that and having a boss, especially
Speaker 1: a man who trusted me with those kinds of things
Speaker 1: really empowered me as a woman and really taught me
Speaker 1: to like trust my gut but also trust my knowledge.
Speaker 1: You know. It isn't about just like trusting our feelings.
Speaker 1: It's about saying, no, I know this ship because I
Speaker 1: actually have the knowledge for this. And um it was.
Speaker 1: It was a really like great thing to work under,
Speaker 1: like a straight white male that actually like to be
Speaker 1: encouraged me in that way, and so I never I mean,
Speaker 1: everyone has their own bullshit and personality and whatever, but
Speaker 1: we really got along and he definitely gave me a
Speaker 1: lot of freedom, and so I was kind of like,
Speaker 1: well after eight years, I was like, I haven't been
Speaker 1: on another interview ever, um in my life. And so
Speaker 1: I was like I should probably go on an interview
Speaker 1: at some point. And my friend, um Abby was like, Oh,
Speaker 1: this company class Pass I work for, they're hiring They're
Speaker 1: hiring a social media person at That's how we saw
Speaker 1: the CEO talk. Yeah, they were so interesting Story of
Speaker 1: the Year Awards. They were a really really startups this time,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, that'd be kind of fun
Speaker 1: to work at another small company. Now they're like I mean,
Speaker 1: now they're like crazy, But I started an Instagram account
Speaker 1: for this job interview. So I started my Instagram account
Speaker 1: that I have now. It was then called get fit Brooklyn,
Speaker 1: not my name anymore, but I started documenting my fitness life.
Speaker 1: And I had been two pounds a long time ago
Speaker 1: by this time. When I started this Instagram account, I
Speaker 1: was like, I had lost seventy pounds. I wasn't documenting
Speaker 1: my weight loss or transformation. I was just sharing my
Speaker 1: sharing my life. Um. And I remember doing the phone
Speaker 1: interview and the girl was like, you don't have any experience.
Speaker 1: I like, I've heard this before. I'm like, I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: I think i'd be really good at it. I have
Speaker 1: this fitness Instagram and I have three followers, and I
Speaker 1: know it can get better. And she was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: we can't. We can't hear you like based on like
Speaker 1: no experience in this thing. And I was like okay.
Speaker 1: But I really loved the interactions I was having with
Speaker 1: women from all over the world, whether it be three
Speaker 1: people or or a lot more, every day talking about
Speaker 1: our lives. And I found it like such a weird
Speaker 1: place on the internet too, to like relate do life
Speaker 1: every day with a bunch of strangers and talk to
Speaker 1: them like friends. And I was like, this is interesting
Speaker 1: and like something about that felt good, So I kept
Speaker 1: doing it. And then two weeks later my boss of
Speaker 1: eight years pulled me aside. We went to this restaurant
Speaker 1: Park Avenue and he started crying and he was like,
Speaker 1: he was like this probably superst thing will ever do.
Speaker 1: He's like, but he's like, you're an entrepreneur and I
Speaker 1: can't pay you what you're worth and you need to
Speaker 1: go out and do your thing. And he's like, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna pay you for two months to go start a company. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what a good straight white guy. That's great because I
Speaker 1: feel like bosses are so selfish sometimes and keep you
Speaker 1: in a place because you're going to keep you even
Speaker 1: though you know it's like it's like you've outgrown it,
Speaker 1: and they want to continue to take advantage of it exactly.
Speaker 1: So to like to let someone go and kind of
Speaker 1: nurture somebody new is the nicest thing you can also.
Speaker 1: And also to say good, not only am I gonna
Speaker 1: let you go and let you figure it out, give package.
Speaker 1: Basically I'm going to start you through like actual finances
Speaker 1: to go do something. And I remember he said, you
Speaker 1: know your last days and two days and I was like, damn, okay.
Speaker 1: He's like, take the rest of the day off, take
Speaker 1: the day off tomorrow. Because he worked for for eight
Speaker 1: years he earned that. That's really cool. He was like,
Speaker 1: go figure out what you want to do and then
Speaker 1: comment on Friday, pack up your desk and he's like,
Speaker 1: whatever you do, I'll be your client. And he's like,
Speaker 1: I'll hire you. And if it was like Giant and Jewelry, um,
Speaker 1: I think we would have reluctantly. It has to take
Speaker 1: a few turnarounds and how to you can maybe get
Speaker 1: it for his lady. For the jazz, I'm of the
Speaker 1: jazzling expert. Now, remember that when that had a thing
Speaker 1: all the taxes in all the taxes in New York,
Speaker 1: they were talking about how like someone was getting the
Speaker 1: jazz old and they were like it's a thing. I'm
Speaker 1: like a taxi. Yeah. That never really got on in
Speaker 1: taxi TV TV. Yeah, it was like it was like
Speaker 1: everyone's getting the jazz al I'm like nobody. Yeah. So basically,
Speaker 1: um as I was. I decided to become an event
Speaker 1: planner and the scariest email I've ever sent was on
Speaker 1: that Friday, pushing that sun button to every single person
Speaker 1: I had known professionally and personally and saying this is
Speaker 1: where you can find me, and this is what I'm
Speaker 1: going to be doing. And I contemplated writing that email
Speaker 1: or just saying, hey, here's my personal email. Keep in touch.
Speaker 1: I'll let you know when I figure it out, even
Speaker 1: though I had already built a website and ordered business cards,
Speaker 1: you know. And I that that that moment of deciding
Speaker 1: of which email draft to send was me as a
Speaker 1: woman saying like, do I believe myself? Like and again,
Speaker 1: do I believe what you know? Do I believe this
Speaker 1: about myself that I can you know? And about ten
Speaker 1: minutes later, I got an email back from this men's
Speaker 1: wear designer, another straight white male, emailed me back and said,
Speaker 1: I want to be your first client. You helped me
Speaker 1: whenever I was first starting out, and he had gained
Speaker 1: so much success, and he was like, I want to
Speaker 1: be your first client. He's like, I don't have any
Speaker 1: events to plan, but I well, let's make one. You
Speaker 1: can plan an event and then plan the event for
Speaker 1: the event. Yeah. Such a heartwarming thing and to have
Speaker 1: people really believe in you fully as like a woman
Speaker 1: and like and to have a man do that too,
Speaker 1: it means a lot because I think when a man
Speaker 1: is condescending to a woman in a way that you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is so disappointing, and it's heart it feels like
Speaker 1: it's this kind of it's like beyond bullying. It's not
Speaker 1: even like that. It's not even like when a woman
Speaker 1: snarks that you were. When a man does that, it
Speaker 1: just feels horrible. So so that experience, I mean, see
Speaker 1: men like if you empower another woman and lift her up,
Speaker 1: we can I can talk about you want a pile full,
Speaker 1: You're giving back to the world. I just think it's
Speaker 1: so wonderful for each other. I think it actually like
Speaker 1: these types of experiences really changed how I approach feminism
Speaker 1: though because it didn't make me like I've had. Of course,
Speaker 1: I've had a lot of ship experiences with men. I've
Speaker 1: had a lot of ship experience with people, but I've
Speaker 1: also had these really like redeeming things. And so you know,
Speaker 1: if you can take a step back and say, you know,
Speaker 1: that's like redefining feminism. It's like feminism got a bad
Speaker 1: rap for a long time, and it's about it's not
Speaker 1: about hating men. It's not about you know, protecting ourselves.
Speaker 1: It's about knowing our worth and and and speaking out
Speaker 1: and fighting need for yourselves. Know your worth because you're
Speaker 1: set if you really have a good grip grip on
Speaker 1: that the world is, it's endless possibilities. And so I
Speaker 1: think these things really laid the groundwork for me to
Speaker 1: feel capable and and it sucks sometimes because, um, you know,
Speaker 1: I did that first event and it was successful, and
Speaker 1: I did it like three weeks later that yeah, it
Speaker 1: was the event. He was He was like, I want
Speaker 1: to have a dinner party at my house. Let's make
Speaker 1: a dinner party. And I remember him him telling me,
Speaker 1: he's like, come to my office, let's talk about it.
Speaker 1: And I remember going to his office and being like
Speaker 1: he's like, okay, what are your rates for a thing?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I will get that to you. I mean,
Speaker 1: I still decide that on Instagram. Now I have a
Speaker 1: manager that helps me do those things. But but you know,
Speaker 1: at the time, I was like, it felt expensive to
Speaker 1: be like every hour seventy dollars for this, and I'm
Speaker 1: like no, And I remember the feeling of sending my
Speaker 1: rate package over and he's like, yeah, and I asked
Speaker 1: for what I believed I was worth. I didn't try
Speaker 1: to low ball it because I was new or I'd
Speaker 1: never done it really before on my own. I planned
Speaker 1: events at my old job, but but I'd never done
Speaker 1: it on my own, and I had all these excuses
Speaker 1: of why I wasn't worth what I thought I was worth,
Speaker 1: and I was like, no, like we're not going to
Speaker 1: do that, and also like the worst thing that can
Speaker 1: say is I can't afford that or no. And so
Speaker 1: after that, what was so amazing is I brought in
Speaker 1: another female collaborator, like who was doing a similar thing,
Speaker 1: but she was a chef. Brought her in to do
Speaker 1: the food, and I was able to like kind of
Speaker 1: like mobilize other people and other women doing kind of
Speaker 1: similar to what I was doing. So it's like I
Speaker 1: was like, someone gave me this an amazing gift of
Speaker 1: of an opportunity, and then I was able to give opportunity.
Speaker 1: And that still like brings me so much joy now,
Speaker 1: like I have a small team and it makes me
Speaker 1: so happy. Yeah, to be like I get to even
Speaker 1: if even if it's a part time assistant, even if
Speaker 1: it's an intern, even if it's you know, like giving
Speaker 1: back to my manager or whatever. It's about like having
Speaker 1: women around you that not only like you've been so
Speaker 1: like so generously like kind of gifted with opportunity. It's like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm constantly thinking of like how do I give back?
Speaker 1: How do I you know, I don't like editing my
Speaker 1: YouTube videos. Okay, I need to hire a woman to
Speaker 1: part time edit my YouTube videos, even if it's a stupid,
Speaker 1: you know, small function of their income. Like those kinds
Speaker 1: of things are how we build and so um, long
Speaker 1: story short, I did event planning for a long time
Speaker 1: for about a year and a half. Instagram then was growing,
Speaker 1: um organically. I've never paid for a follower. I've never
Speaker 1: joined any sort of so people can pay for followers.
Speaker 1: People do that all the time, People buy comments, people
Speaker 1: do all the things I've never I've never I've never
Speaker 1: purchased a person on Instagram. And I want to always
Speaker 1: be the thing to be like every single person is
Speaker 1: here because they want to be here and because they
Speaker 1: found something of worth here. Um. But what was so
Speaker 1: crazy is like that was growing as my event planning
Speaker 1: thing was growing, and I was like going crazy, and
Speaker 1: so January of last year. I was like, Okay, the
Speaker 1: end of the day that day I got fired, I
Speaker 1: went to a diner on thirty three and Lexington, and
Speaker 1: I wrote down all the things that were important to me.
Speaker 1: I was like crying and eating scrambled eggs and drinking
Speaker 1: a lot of like kind of let go from that.
Speaker 1: That initial job. Very nice firing. I was like, you
Speaker 1: go on your path. Who freed me? Um? But I
Speaker 1: remember sitting in a diner that that day. It was
Speaker 1: I had walked around for like two hours, and I
Speaker 1: was like frozen, and I was like, Okay, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: sit here. And I remember writing down on a notepad
Speaker 1: that I had all the things that I loved in
Speaker 1: the world and all the things that made me happy
Speaker 1: because I was so desperately trying to figure out what
Speaker 1: I would do, and what I centered back was all
Speaker 1: the things that were written on that piece of paper
Speaker 1: were about people. I loved people, you know, whether it
Speaker 1: was celebrating people, or relationships with pr people I had had,
Speaker 1: or or collaborations I've done, it all centered around people.
Speaker 1: And so whenever I decided in January to go from
Speaker 1: event planning and kind of putting a break on that
Speaker 1: business to pursue my personal brand because there's so many
Speaker 1: things I want to do. You know, people always say like, oh,
Speaker 1: do you feel bad that you aren't doing event planning anymore?
Speaker 1: You're not kind of abandoned that business, And I say no,
Speaker 1: because the thing I wrote on that piece of paper
Speaker 1: that day with people and I still I still that
Speaker 1: my business is centered around people still. And so the
Speaker 1: thing is that I haven't given up any part of
Speaker 1: the dream I had. It's just come in a different
Speaker 1: kind of format. And what's your business now? Yeah, so
Speaker 1: I and building a personal brand. I basically want to
Speaker 1: become millennial Oprah okay, um, so I want to just
Speaker 1: talk to people, but particularly women about their lives and
Speaker 1: um try to shift the world in any possible way
Speaker 1: I can toward a more positive direction, but through like
Speaker 1: a realistic viewpoint. And so it's really fun for me
Speaker 1: to be a little I'm writer, so I love writing
Speaker 1: content on Instagram but also for different publications. I do
Speaker 1: a lot of on camera stuff. I get to be
Speaker 1: in shoots and what's so awesome is my favorite part
Speaker 1: is actually working with brands because we're going to consume
Speaker 1: advertising whatever way. But but if it can be a
Speaker 1: woman telling the story, if it can be a woman
Speaker 1: of color telling the story, if it can be someone
Speaker 1: that actually gives a sh about the audience. Like deeply,
Speaker 1: my thing is like I can help tell a better
Speaker 1: story even in my advertising, you know, even if I'm
Speaker 1: trying to sell you, It's like I can sell this
Speaker 1: to you in a way that actually honors who you are.
Speaker 1: I know, I get so frustrated with our ad copies
Speaker 1: sometimes because I'm like, I get this product and I
Speaker 1: think it's really exciting, Please let me run with it,
Speaker 1: because I know I can. I know I can give
Speaker 1: a pitch that's genuine, that comes from the heart, that
Speaker 1: isn't coded in bullshit like so many advertising And I
Speaker 1: think it's it's a difference that you guys and and
Speaker 1: me similarly, like I don't work with brands. I don't
Speaker 1: like you don't work with brands. Yeah, And I also
Speaker 1: you know, I mean there have been people I've worked
Speaker 1: with that you know, I've probably I mean I've turned
Speaker 1: down close to a hundred k and find this last
Speaker 1: year for of Instagram more else. And because I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm like the thing that I the kind of the
Speaker 1: process I always go to is like, is this like
Speaker 1: good for my soul? Is is good for the audience
Speaker 1: that is consuming this? And yeah, and and these are
Speaker 1: the two things that I have allegiance to before anything else,
Speaker 1: Like I have allegiance to myself and my honor and
Speaker 1: their their value first and I and I kind of
Speaker 1: put that barometer on anything I'm doing. I only have
Speaker 1: one time ever posted something. It was very early on
Speaker 1: one of my first like paid things on Instagram, and
Speaker 1: I remember the pit of my stomach feeling like I
Speaker 1: didn't want to push that button to post the thing.
Speaker 1: And I remember because I didn't believe in it. It
Speaker 1: wasn't bad, it was just I didn't believe in it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was just like I never want to feel that again,
Speaker 1: and I will never do that again, Like I will
Speaker 1: never feel that feeling. And so what has been awesome
Speaker 1: for me? I mean Adidas for an example, I'm one
Speaker 1: of their brand ambassadors, but you know, I was in
Speaker 1: campaign all over the world and to see like a
Speaker 1: not sized four woman mixed woman who you know is
Speaker 1: really athletic but not a size too and also who
Speaker 1: isn't a professionally trained athlete, who isn't a trainer literally
Speaker 1: just likes fitness because it you know, it kind of
Speaker 1: like it increases her happiness and um, and it makes
Speaker 1: her feel good about herself. But to see, even if
Speaker 1: it wasn't me, to see that projected on like billboards
Speaker 1: is such a And I don't give a ship that
Speaker 1: I'm on a billboard really like, I don't need to
Speaker 1: be I'm not trying to be famous, but I do
Speaker 1: think having influence in the world can help you get
Speaker 1: to your goal faster of like changing the world. And
Speaker 1: so like in that moment of being so proud that
Speaker 1: that is what women were seeing rather than something else,
Speaker 1: it made me feel so proud of not only myself,
Speaker 1: but like proud of the way our culture is moving.
Speaker 1: And I see that all the time. And every time
Speaker 1: someone is like, you take this and put your brand
Speaker 1: on it, You put your spin, you tell the story.
Speaker 1: Every time I get to film a commercial or something
Speaker 1: and there's an interview portion where it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: you're inserting your own personal anecdote and they're like and
Speaker 1: I'm like, they're like to say what you want to say,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, damn, that feels really good. And so
Speaker 1: you know, whether it be in the book I am writing,
Speaker 1: or a podcast and developing, or ad copy or whatever.
Speaker 1: It is like the fact that I've have the capability
Speaker 1: and opportunity to actually like change this ship in some way,
Speaker 1: just like you guys have with with this podcast. You know,
Speaker 1: we have a lot of things that are so we're
Speaker 1: so wrapped up in and it's we're just slowly like
Speaker 1: unraveling this, you know, we're slowly freeing ourselves from these things.
Speaker 1: And it feels so good to get messages every day
Speaker 1: and people being like, I feel more like myself because
Speaker 1: of the things that you're doing. You're and and it's
Speaker 1: not about like, oh, I'm doing such a good job.
Speaker 1: I just the fact that people out there feel better
Speaker 1: about who they are is so fucking go Like, it's
Speaker 1: so fucking good. It's the it's like this this feeling
Speaker 1: of satisfaction not of what I'm doing, but of what
Speaker 1: we're doing. Yeah, yeah, you know, and of when they're
Speaker 1: being part of it. They're part of your thing, yeah,
Speaker 1: and I'm part of theirs, you know. And being able
Speaker 1: to really like cheer people on in a genuine way,
Speaker 1: like strangers, Like it's such a strange thing, but to
Speaker 1: be able to really like advocate for them and fight
Speaker 1: for them, and when I'm in meetings with like powerful people,
Speaker 1: being like that story is not the right story that
Speaker 1: we should be telling and being able to like I mean,
Speaker 1: I remember doing a campaign who with someone that shall
Speaker 1: not be named, but I was kind of it wasn't
Speaker 1: I wasn't No, it was with a brand, but I am.
Speaker 1: They ended up correcting their error, so I'm not going
Speaker 1: to hate on them, but but they kind of came
Speaker 1: with me with a very vague idea and then they
Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, I think we can like yeah,
Speaker 1: if that's all that all, that's all that is. It's
Speaker 1: like I can tell actually have a really great angle
Speaker 1: for this, and they came back with this idea that
Speaker 1: was really demeaning to women, and was really like they
Speaker 1: were trying to not be demeaning to women, but they were.
Speaker 1: But in the process, we're being more demeaning, which happens
Speaker 1: which when you have to try hard to not be
Speaker 1: demeaning probably gonna come off. Is very It's just I
Speaker 1: was actually very short. I've noticed that lately in the
Speaker 1: meat tooth stuff. It's like people are trying way too
Speaker 1: hard to not be x y Z and it's like
Speaker 1: just be yourself. Okay. Yeah. Well even the Oscars was
Speaker 1: like here's another montage of women doing it. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: like we're like, we're like, here's a bunch of people
Speaker 1: that we would never elevate to celebrity status because they're
Speaker 1: not quite good looking enough. But but like, look they're here,
Speaker 1: they're these and we didn't even wine like it was
Speaker 1: I mean, there's so much of that. But I remember
Speaker 1: going back to the Brandon saying I don't care how
Speaker 1: much money this is. I don't care. I'm not doing
Speaker 1: this and then be like wha, like wait, let's talk
Speaker 1: about this. And I appreciate it that they wanted to
Speaker 1: talk about it, and I'm like that's great. I'm like,
Speaker 1: but here, here's the thing. This is not okay. And
Speaker 1: I know you have other people participating in this. I'm like,
Speaker 1: haven't has anyone else said anything? I'm like, they've got
Speaker 1: to have that goes over people's heads or they're not
Speaker 1: thinking they can't take a step back. And and they
Speaker 1: were like, yeah, no, you're the only one that said
Speaker 1: anything about this, that this is a problem for them,
Speaker 1: and I'm like okay, And it was in that moment
Speaker 1: that I had that initial thought that I think women
Speaker 1: deal with a lot is I'm being difficult, and and
Speaker 1: I've I'm I think we're again, we're constantly undoing these
Speaker 1: things that have been kind of washed over us for
Speaker 1: a long time. And I'm like, I'm not being difficult.
Speaker 1: I'm actually trying to help you. You know, I'm trying
Speaker 1: to tell you that this doesn't speak to women in
Speaker 1: the proper way that you want it to. And I'm
Speaker 1: trying to tell you. I'm not going to just tell
Speaker 1: you no, but I can help you come up with
Speaker 1: a solution that actually doesn't speak to women in a
Speaker 1: better way. And that's what ended up happening. It was
Speaker 1: so successful and so great, and I was like, you know,
Speaker 1: I feel very like honored to be um in any
Speaker 1: way in a place of having that sort of any
Speaker 1: sort of influence in those kinds of things. And so yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just been I think, you know, my story through
Speaker 1: entrepreneurship and social media and all of these things has
Speaker 1: you know, it's come with its ups and downs and
Speaker 1: hardships and whatever, but it's also come with these amazing
Speaker 1: things that I can go then and feel inspired and
Speaker 1: go try to speak to these things with people, UM
Speaker 1: in the world and talk about how my failures and
Speaker 1: my pitfalls have led to some of the greatest things
Speaker 1: in my life. And you know, I think when we
Speaker 1: just tell our stories, like really clearly and honestly and
Speaker 1: share how we felt along all parts of it, scared, happy, sad,
Speaker 1: like you had no hope, whatever, it is different, yeah,
Speaker 1: in different. You know, I think when we tell those
Speaker 1: things that it helps us all just feel a little
Speaker 1: bit more human. And there's just a lot to be
Speaker 1: mind there, you know, Like I think if we all
Speaker 1: can just feel a little bit better about existing in
Speaker 1: our own bodies and our own minds, you know, the world,
Speaker 1: the world, the world can change and it will it
Speaker 1: will be better. Yeah, it's exciting. Absolutely. And on that note,
Speaker 1: where can we find you? You can find me on
Speaker 1: the internet in many places. UM. I'm gonna I'll do
Speaker 1: Instagram first because it is the easiest. It's um at
Speaker 1: Shina Alexander c h I n A E. Alexander and um.
Speaker 1: You can also find me on YouTube and you can
Speaker 1: probably find me retweeting politics orient things on Twitter. UM
Speaker 1: and an upcoming podcast in a book. But stay tuned
Speaker 1: for those things. Cool well, Thank you so much for
Speaker 1: sitting down with us. This was great because I have
Speaker 1: set very high expectations for everyone in my life, which
Speaker 1: is not a good thing to do. Uh. But you
Speaker 1: lived up to them, and then it's possible. But that's
Speaker 1: something I need to work on. Thank you so much
Speaker 1: for listening to guys. We suck the Anti slut Changing Podcast.
Speaker 1: We'll talk to you next Friday. I told my mama,
Speaker 1: I won't take you number. I need some help. I
Speaker 1: need some loud. I need somebody that touched me. My
Speaker 1: body is waiving attention, my intellect lusting for a battle
Speaker 1: with wits. A shouted with west A shout it what
Speaker 1: it is, but asteady stead so you need you know?
Speaker 1: I mean, oh not so song, oh my soul school
Speaker 1: song on fun, I'm the boys love a boy boy,
Speaker 1: we love oh um oh my spots so one fun.
Speaker 1: I meant when I lash out the other party, she
Speaker 1: because on our cottage while we wonder, Roman blocks in
Speaker 1: something like no Mad's inside me, that's she said. Stanleys
Speaker 1: like y'all whenever I listened. But my chi was focused
Speaker 1: on lips andtend they're not to get down. We're study
Speaker 1: went with said the family's together. When my Campa says, slip,
Speaker 1: she adopted. I came out of the sleip and mom asdambling.
Speaker 1: With that done, it was him and the chests. When
Speaker 1: the damage ends, the damning drunk art fraction, wrist wat
Speaker 1: built up like Donald Trump. She got a beat and
Speaker 1: I heard again one let drive. I wish I'll prevad
Speaker 1: myself and giving the chance. She got me thinking about
Speaker 1: I wrote, well, man, she got me thinking about down,
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